Paying for Vengeance
by Just-a-moment
Summary: They take her in. They become her friends. They give her a new reason to fight. But will Katie's past mean the end of the Saints? MurphyOC, ConnorOC
1. Chapter 1

Her body woke up first and it was a strange sensation to wake up comfortable. The bed was soft, softer than any of the hardwood floors she'd been forced to sleep on for the last few weeks. It was only as her mind was completely clear that she realized that she had no idea where she was.

Opening up her eyes, Katie sat up quickly and glanced around. The room, if that little triangle of white space could be called a room, was plain with virtually no decoration. There was a bed with a table and lamp beside it, and a small worn chair across from the bed.

Her heart began racing as she slid off the bed and walked slowly out of the room. Her head was killing her and the raised bump on the back of it had to be the cause. What had happened the night before? The warehouse. She'd been at the warehouse. Held there. Captive. Janie, they moved her.

She paused as she stepped out into the open living room area. A very worn plaid couch sat across from the hallway, and was surrounded by a scratched coffee table and a couple more small but comfortable looking chairs. The pain in her head began throbbing, so she found her way to the couch and sat down quickly.

She'd no sooner put her head in her hands before the door opened. She scrambled to her feet as a lighter haired man walked in followed by a darker haired man. Forcing herself to relax, she attempted to look casual.

"If Da says he'll be there in twenty minutes, he'll be there in twenty fuckin' minutes," the lighter haired man said and then stopped short when he saw Katie watching them.

"Hey, you're up." He smiled at her but she didn't say anything back. The darker haired watched her in silence.

"Who are you?"

They exchanged a glance before answering her.

"I'm Connor." The lighter haired man stepped forward and held out his hand. "And this is Murphy." He motioned towards the darker haired man.

She simply looked at it and crossed her arms instead.

"Hey now, we aren't going to hurt ye." The darker haired man (Murphy?) spoke up and she switched her glance to him. He held her gaze as he moved slightly closer. "How do ye feel?"

The lighter haired man had called himself Connor. He had taken a closer look at her before leaving the room for a moment. Then he moved into her line of vision again, holding a glass of water. He held out his other hand and she saw two small white pills in them. He waited for her to take them from him. After a moment, when she didn't, he set them down with a smile.

"They're just Tylenol."

"How do I know?"

She watched as Connor walked back into the kitchen and returned with a bottle in hand. He tossed it to her and only after looking at it closely did she take two different pills out and take them.

"Trustin', aren't ye?"

"I don't think I would be too trustin' either, Connor."

Katie took another drink of water before looking up at them. She sat down slowly. "Where…where am I?"

"Our apartment. We didn't know where else ta take you."

"No." She spoke softly. Her heart was still racing but she felt a little calmer. These two didn't seem like they wanted to hurt her. "Where am I?"

"Our apartment. In south Boston. Is your head bothering ye that fuckin' much?"

She shook her head slowly. "Boston, huh?"

Murphy moved toward her slowly before sitting down on the coffee table in front of her. She slid further away before she could stop herself. They never seemed threatening until it was too late. She'd learned that the hard way.

"Whoa, I'm not gonna hurt ye." He reached out slowly toward her, placing his hand softly on her knee. She moved away again. Sighing, he moved his hands back to lean his elbows forward on his knees. "Do ye know who you are?"

She gave a short laugh before giving him a smile. "Yeah. Sorry. I know who I am and all. I just didn't ever figure out where they took me."

"They?" Connor spoke up from where he still stood, arms crossed over his chest. He looked a little menacing from where she sat. She looked away quickly and nodded.

"Yeah, they. They grabbed me in New York. Must've thought they could get something out of me." She didn't mention Janie. They seemed okay, but she didn't know how much she could trust them.

Taking another drink of her water, she realized how hungry she was. Her stomach growled in response to this new realization.

"How long has it been since ye've eaten?"

Katie stared down at her hands for a moment before looking back up to Connor to answer. "Honestly, I don't know. Maybe yesterday. I can't quite remember what all happened yesterday."

She watched as the two men shared a look before Murphy stood up and held out his hand. Hesitating only slightly, she took his hand to let him help her to her feet. Running her hand through her hair, she looked down at herself.

"Good God, I must look terrible. I can't go outside like this."

Murphy started laughing as Connor just shook his head at her.

"Ye look fine." Connor said and headed toward the door.

"Food first, than ye can fuckin' worry 'bout all that."

Her stomach growled again and she nodded. It wasn't like she knew anyone in Boston anyhow. She nodded and stepped outside behind Connor, leaving Murphy to follow.

The cold air hit her and she began to shiver. It was then that she realized that she wasn't exactly dressed right for the cold weather. Shaking her head, she crossed her arms over her chest. She didn't even know where she'd lost the coat. New York or in the warehouse?

Her thoughts were interrupted as she felt a coat being settled on her shoulders. She looked over and saw Murphy standing beside her wearing just his dark gray sweater.

"No, I can't. You'll freeze."

"It's not that far. Ye need it."

Sighing, she nodded and pulled it tighter around her.

"Katie." She said finally.

Both guys looked at her with a raised eyebrow and she laughed when she saw how similar their expressions where.

"My name is Katie."

"I thought they called ye Donna." Connor asked her, raised his other eyebrow.

"They were wrong."

"Nice ta meet ye, Katie."

"Yeah, welcome ta Boston." Both men laughed and she found herself joining in softly.

They entered the diner five minutes later and the boys headed instantly over to a booth where an older man sat drinking coffee. She hesitated before slowly following. The older man smiled as she approached.

"Da," Connor smiled at Katie. "This is Katie."

"Good morning, lass. I'm glad to see ye're up and around."

Katie smiled slightly before glancing around the diner. Could they find her here? A hand tugged on her sleeve before she could get too nervous and she looked down to find Murphy holding her sleeve.

"Oh, sorry. You probably want your coat back."

He laughed softly and shook his head. Kate saw the other two were watching her.

"No, I was trying to get ye ta sit down. They don't serve you standing up 'round here."

She nodded and slid into the booth beside him, across from Connor and the older man. Her eyes trailed around diner again before looking down at her hands in front of her.

"They won't find ye here. We're all the way on the other side o' town, m'dear." The older man spoke up finally and she raised her eyes to meet his. He gave her a warm smile and she couldn't help but to return it.

"I-I….thank you."

"Don't thank us yet. Connor's not the easiest ta live with." Murphy smiled over at her. "Trust me, I know."

"And ye're a fuckin' cake walk, Murph. Dirty socks everywhere. Just wait and see how he cleans up after himself." Connor pointed a finger at her with a scowl.

"Watch the language in front of a lady." The older man nudged Connor.

Katie couldn't help herself. "Damn right."

There was a brief pause before both younger men broke out into laughter. Katie raised her eyes to find the older man shaking his head at her with a smile.

"Now don't encourage them, lass. Ye'll regret it."

"Yessir." She smiled back.

"Call me Da."

"Yessir."

The waitress walked up to them finally and took down their orders. Katie realized that she hadn't seen a menu.

"And she'll have that hearty breakfast of yours." Da added before she could open her mouth. She smiled her thanks before lowering her eyes back down to her hands. The three men must have sensed that she wanted let alone and went on with their planned conversation. She had to figure out what had happened. She had to figure out if these three men were too much to trust. She had to figure out what to do.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do ye have anyone ye should call, ta let them know ye're okay?" Da asked her later in the evening. Katie sat toward one end of the couch, a close distance away from Da's chair. She hesitated and then shook her head slowly.

"Not really."

"Anywhere ta go?"

"No. Not anymore."

He raised the pipe to his mouth and watched her closely for a moment. His gaze was searching and she wondered if he could see that far into her. If he knew her secrets.

"Then ye should stay with us fer now. Until ye figure out what ye want ta do."

"But, Sir, I really couldn't do that."

"Why not?"

She sighed and took a sip of her hot tea. "I can't intrude."

"Ye are hardly intrudin' when we brought ya here."

"I was unconscious. I didn't leave you much choice."

"We had a choice, m'dear. We don't leave innocent people behind. And we don't make them leave too soon either."

"Sir-"

"Please, call me Da."

She smiled. "Da, what were you doing at the warehouse?"

"Takin' care of some business."

"Did you kill all of them?"

He stared at her for a moment before nodding. She let out the breath she'd been holding. She'd known that since she'd woken up this morning. The memories had been filtering through her head all day. She'd know they were murderers. And she didn't care.

"Now that ya know, lass, what'll ye do?"

"Know what?"

"Who we are. What we do."

"I don't care who you are. And I'm glad you did what you did. They were going to do terrible things."

"Aye, and that's why we were there lass."

"Thank you."

"It 'twas our pleasure."

Katie smiled at Da before leaned further back into the cushions. She ran a hand through her still slightly damp hair and smiled. She was clean, wearing an old pair of sweats and a t-shirt one of the brothers had left in the bathroom for her. While her head was still tender, it was no longer throbbing. A crash from the kitchen made her glance that way and hold back a laugh.

"Murph, ye're a fuckin' idiot. Just accept that ya can't cook."

"Of course I can't with ye givin' me directions. Get the fuck out and let me figure this out."

Katie laughed softly and finished her tea before getting to her feet. Da looked up surprised.

"Ya don't have to help them, Katie."

"I'm not going to help them. I'm going to take over and keep from going crazy listening to them bicker."

She winked at him and heard him chuckle as she walked into the kitchen.

"Okay boys, put down the frying pan and step away from the counter. It's time someone actually showed you how to cook."

** A/N: Since this is obviously an OC point of view (until later on, when there will be multiple POVs) what you will see of the McManuses is mostly from her perception. However, as the story goes on, they will seem much closer to how they "actually" are. Please R&R!**


	2. Chapter 2

Katie woke the next morning knowing where she was and feeling rather human. It was amazing how much she'd missed that feeling. Her head still ached but she knew where Connor had put the Tylenol from the day before. She was free to leave her room. Free to wander. Free to leave. She'd have to get used to this again.

Getting up, she moved over to the clothes she'd hand washed the night before. They were worn and there were still a few stains she couldn't get out, but they were clean. Reaching into her sock, she pulled out the folded wad of cash. She'd had it with her in New York and had somehow managed to keep it hidden in her bra the entire time they'd held her in that warehouse. She flipped through the bills and counted it again. Six hundred. Enough to get some new clothes. Enough to hide and save, just in case. In case she needed to start over. She just hoped she wouldn't need to start over again too soon. Grabbing the pile of clothes, she flung last night's towel over her shoulder and headed to the bathroom.

Her list of things she needed to get grew while she showered. The guys had shampoo but no conditioner. They had bar soap but nothing else. And she had absolutely no toiletries.

"Absolutely pathetic." She muttered as she dressed quickly. She headed down to the kitchen and was only slightly surprised to find that she was the only one up. Neither Connor nor Murphy had even begun winding down when she had finally gone to bed. It had been several hours later before she heard both of their whispered voices moving down the hallway where she assumed their room was. She couldn't help but wonder where Da slept. She hoped she hadn't taken his bed.

Katie made coffee, but still no one in the apartment woke up. After a little while of waiting, she knew if she was going to get anything done, she would have to leave soon.

Sighing, she pulled out a scrap of paper from the notebook on the counter and grabbed a pen.

_Morning,_

_I went to get a few things_

_but I should be back in a few hours._

_Katie _

She used the sole magnet on the fridge to hold the note up. After looking around and checking the money in her pocket, Katie quietly walked out and shut the door. The light was bright outside and she winced as her headache grew. Her eyes darted up and down the street and forced herself to relax. No one could find her here. Those who saw her, who knew her, had been killed. She took a deep breath and started on her way.

Boston was a lot bigger than she'd thought it would be. It took her three stops for directions to find her way to the public library. They'd have the newspapers she needed.

It took her only fifteen minutes to find the article announcing Janie's kidnapping. She knew her own would be of little consequence. She'd been gone for five weeks now. She'd lost count somewhere along the way. God, she'd been gone for five weeks. Scrolling forward, she searched for mention of Janie being found, or even of Janie's death. Nothing was mentioned.

"It's only been two days." She muttered as another article caught her eye. 'Real thing or copycat? Saints strike again', the headline read. Narrowing her eyes she read further down. It mentioned a warehouse. _The warehouse?_ She leaned closer to the screen. Five guys had been killed. There was evidence of hostages who could not be found

"Oh my God." It was the warehouse. Her warehouse. The saints? They were the Saints. She was living with the Saints.

It all made sense. That was what Da had meant when he'd asked what she would do with the knowledge. It hadn't occurred to her that they could be _the Saints_. She rubbed a hand over her face and leaned back in her chair. After a moment, she leaned forward again. It was time she figured out everything she could about them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The door was still partially open when she finally got back to the apartment. Angry tones could be heard from inside, but her arms were too weighed down by shopping bags to stop and wait. Sighing, she nudged the door open further and entered the apartment.

"Ya're an idiot, Connor."

"And yer a fuckin' genius yerself, huh?"

"How was I supposed to fuckin' know he was there?"

"Use your eyes, like everybody else has learned to."

Both Connor and Murphy were sitting at the kitchen table, continuing their argument loud enough neither heard her enter. She set her bags down harder than normal, in an attempt to get them to realize she was there and to stop arguing.

Connor leaned his head around the half-wall to the kitchen and muttered a curse as he got up.

"Where in God's name have ya been?"

Katie just frown at him. "I had some errands to run."

"So ya just left without us? Ye were a hostage only days ago and then ya feel free to wonder Boston by yerself?"

"Connor, I left a note. You two were asleep." She sighed and moved past him into the kitchen. It was then that she caught sight of the blood and bruising of Murphy's face. "Murph! Are you okay?"

He batted her hands away as she tried to get a closer look.

"I'm fuckin' fine. Where'd ya go?"

"Errands, like I said. You need ice on this." She moved over to the freezer and poked her head in.

"How many bags are there out there?"

"A few. I went shopping. Here, Murph, put this over your eye. It might keep it from puffing up."

"Shopping? All this because ye went fuckin' shoppin'?"

"All what?" Katie turned to look at Connor. Her jaw dropped. "Wait, this happened to Murphy because I left without you?"

"No." The twins said in unison but Katie still felt her hands shaking as she lifted the ice up to look at the still bleeding cut above Murphy's right eyebrow.

"Then what happened?"

"We had our own _errands_ ta do." Murphy phrased carefully. She realized they didn't know she had talked to Da about it.

"Oh, so ya had a job." She nodded and then looked around. "Bandages? Rubbing alcohol? I know you've got to have this stuff."

When she got no answer, she finally looked up and saw Connor was watching her closely. "What do ye know about our jobs?"

"I just know about them. Remember, I was there."

"Just how much do you remember?" Murphy asked and she glanced down at him. Sighing, she raised her hand to her forehead. Her head was starting to throb again.

"Connor, first aid kit, please."

Silently, he grabbed a white box off the top of the fridge and handed it to her.

"Thank you."

"How much do ye know?"

Katie walked to the sink and grabbed a washcloth. Thinking about how much to divulge, she run it under the water. Moving back to Murphy, she carefully wiped the blood away and was pleased to see it had stopped bleeding.

"More than you think I know, I guess." She reached over and put some of the rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball. "Murph, this might sting a little."

He didn't react as she cleaned the wound, only stared up at her waiting.

"I trusted you guys. Now it's your turn to trust me. I'm not about to turn you in." They remained silent as she put a larger band-aid over his eyebrow. Sighing again, she turned and put everything back into the kit before handing it back to Connor who took it without a word. "Look, I'm going to go take my bags to my room…wait, where does Da sleep?"

"In the chair, in the living room."

"Did I steal his bed?"

Connor shook his head. "No, he never used it. Says it's bad for his back."

"Oh." Shaking her head slightly, she moved to walk out of the kitchen but felt a hand grab her arm.

"Wait." Murphy's voice made her look down. He was holding the wet washcloth in his other hand. "Ye have me blood on yer fuckin' forehead."

"What?" Katie crinkled her forehead and looked up. He just smirked at her and used a clean area of the cloth to wipe it off.

"Thanks, Nightingale."

"Yeah, watch out for those fists from behind next time."

"Wait, how'd ye know?"

Katie turned back to him and pointed at his knuckles. "No new damage. So you didn't get a chance to hit back." She then grabbed Connor's hand and held it up for Murphy to see. "Slight damage." With a smile, she walked past a still frowning Connor and grabbed her bags.

She was halfway through unloading them when she felt someone watching her from the doorway. Looking behind her, she was only slightly surprised to see Connor with Murphy not far behind him.

"Yes?"

"Where'd you get the money?"

Katie laughed and tried not to be offended. She knew they'd wonder. But if she had her own, she wasn't about to ask them for some.

"Before I left New York, I was given money to 'invest'. Then I got grabbed. Fortunately, I'd chosen to hide it in a place they never tried to look." Connor raised an eyebrow at her. She just smiled and turned away. "I hid it in my bra."

She heard a clearing throat behind her and a half laugh. Murphy spoke up. "What else do ye hide in your bra?"

Turning back, she shook her head and grinned at him. "Nothing. I usually don't even keep money there. I was just lucky I did this time. Lucky in more ways than one. You guys live like such…well, guys."

"What?" Connor asked this time.

"I had to get conditioner, something besides just bar soap; you guys don't even have lotion here. I think I've seen more beer in this apartment than anything else. Besides, I needed more than one change of clothing." She looked back over at them. "Oh, and I also got a job."

Connor raised an eyebrow again. "A job?"

"Yeah, an actual job. Some bar was hiring. What money I have left won't last forever."

"I can't see ye working for a bar, Katie."

"Yeah, ye don't see much like a barmaid ta me." Murphy agreed quickly.

"It's money. And it's a sweet old guy who owns it. It might be fun."

"Where is it?"

"Eh, I don't know. A couple blocks west, I think. McGinty's."

The two exchanged grins.

"McGinty's?"

"Sweet old guy, my ass."

Katie smiled and tilted her head at them. "You know this place?"

They laughed again. Connor ran a hand through his hair before he answered.

"Yeah, you might say we know that place."

"Figures. The one Irish bar I run into and you 'know that place'. Will it hurt my job if I mention you two?"

Murphy laughed again. "No, ye'd probably be fuckin' set for life. Doc has a soft spot for us."

Katie folded the last shirt and set it on the bed before turning back to them.

"So where's Da?"

Murphy shrugged and looked at Connor who mirrored his movements before speaking. "He takes off for a little while after each job we do. Don't know where. But he'll be back late tonight, I'm sure."

"So, not for supper though?"

They both shook their head. Nodding, Katie shooed them out of the doorway and moved down to the kitchen. She rolled her eyes as they followed her again.

"I can't believe ye're working at McGinty's." Murphy's voice echoed down the hallway.

"Get used to it. He's going to show me around the bar tomorrow before they open and I start work the next night."

"I think we need to make a trip ta McGinty's, Connor."

"Aye. If we can go there without getting caught."

Katie turned to see Connor sit down and grab the remote. He flipped it to some Western movie as Murphy moved over to sit at the other end of the couch.

"What do you mean?"

"That's kind of where it all started."

"What? Oh. OH. The Russians."

"Wait, how do you know about the Russians?" Murphy frowned over at her. Katie leaned against the door jam and met his stare.

"I didn't just go shopping today."

"Ye went looking for info on us?"

"No, on me. Remember, I'm still missing according to everyone else. But the only mention of that night was of 'Saint copycats.'"

"Copycats." Connor made a face but continued staring at the screen.

"Isn't there someone ye should tell that ye aren't missing anymore?" Murphy asked after a moment of silence. She dropped her gaze to the floor. "Like any family?

She shrugged. "I don't know."

"How can you not know?" Connor asked quietly.

"I don't know if he even knows I'm missing."

"Who is he?" Murphy asked this time. Katie smiled slightly up at them.

"Do you realize you switch back and forth with questions? Or is that just natural?"

"Who is he?" Murphy asked again.

"My brother."

"Then ye definitely need ta call him."

"I haven't talked to him in nearly two years."

"Doesn't matter. Call him. Trust us. He'll want to know."

Knowing what Murphy was saying was right, Katie just sighed and nodded. She got up and walked into the kitchen to find something for supper. After less than a minute and a quick search of all available food storage areas, she leaned against the counter with a small smile

"Just how is it you guys eat here? There's barely anything but beer, coffee and some questionable looking milk." She called out to them.

Connor laughed. "We don't. We eat at that diner usually."

"Yeah, last night was unusual that we had food in the apartment."

"And you waited until now to tell me this?"

There was no answer, just the sound of shooting coming from the television.

"Okay, I give in. I'll just go shopping tomorrow. Let's go to the diner." Katie laughed as she walked into the living room and saw that both guys were already at the door with coats and shoes on. They both gave her the same smile.

"'Bout time ye came ta that conclusion." Connor shook his keys at her.

She held up a finger. "Hold on. Let me grab my coat." She came out after a second, pulling on a light yellow hooded jacket.

Murphy grinned at her. "Let's go, Ducky." She reached out and smacked his arm.

"Fuck off, Murph."

Connor reached out and grabbed her wrist before she could hit him again. He turned her hand over and dropped something metal into it. Katie looked down and saw it was a key.

"Hey, thanks!"

"Yeah, now ye can leave without us worryin' that you'll be locked out."

"That'll be nice. Thanks."

"Oh, well. It at least stopped ye two from fighting."

"Like you two never fight." She laughed and walked further ahead.


	3. Chapter 3

She felt the bag start to break before she could react and stop it.

"Dammit!"

Sighing, she continued the rest of the block to their apartment building. She'd just have to go back for them in a minute here. After unlocking the door, she slid the bags up onto the counter and grabbed the few cold things to put away. When she was done she walked out the door and closed it behind her without locking it. She'd have her hands full when she got back. And she didn't want to screw with unlocking the door again.

Running down to the alleyway with an unbroken bag in hand, she reached down and started tossing the dented cans in. "At least the eggs weren't in here."

She didn't feel the presence behind her until it was too late. An arm grabbed her and shoved her against the wall. Pain radiated through her temple as it hit the rough brick. She heard the sound of shoes hitting the pavement behind her, running past. There was a cold metal pressure on the back of her neck.

"Remember, those who snoop don't live long." The deep voice whispered in her ear. A sharp pain sliced the side of her neck. Katie felt the fist hitting the back of her head before falling into the blackness.

It was dark when she woke up on the floor of the alley. Moving slowly, she got to her feet. God, her entire body ached. Spitting, she tried to get the taste of blood from her mouth. She didn't even remember biting her tongue. Looking around the alley, her eyes fell on the bag of cans near the wall and remembered why she'd come out there in the first place.

She had to get back home.

The apartment was dark and still unlocked when she reached it. The guys still weren't home. She gasped as she turned on the light and saw the overturned chairs and broken furniture. She froze and listened for sounds. The apartment was completely silent. Grabbing a frying pan, she moved silently down the hallway towards their bedrooms. About halfway down she heard voices and footsteps moving closer. She crept back down and kept her back to the wall, out of sight.

"Get 'im to the table." the command came from Da.

"What the fuck happened here?"

"Someone fucking broke in."

"Shite. Katie? Katie!" Murphy's yell echoed down the hallway toward her.

She breathed a sigh of relief and rounded the corner. Her eyes fell on Connor's bloodied arm first and she gasped. She ignored the other comments as she moved quickly in to the kitchen.

"What happened?" She demanded while grabbing a hand down and handed it to Connor. "Press down."

"He's shot. What the fuck happened here?"

"I don't know." She grabbed the first aid kit and set it on the table. Reaching in, she pulled out gauze and rubbing alcohol. "Why didn't you take him to a hospital?"

"Not an option. Just do what you can, lass." Da's deep voice rumbled across the kitchen. Katie looked up finally and saw he was setting an iron on one of the larger burners. Shaking her head, she turned back to Connor. He just gave her a small grin.

"Don't worry. This is nothing."

"Nothing, huh? I don't want to see what something is to you all than."

"They fuckin' found us already." Murphy's voice called down the hall and Connor moved to get up. Katie sighed and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Sit. I need to clean this out. Is the bullet still in there? Nevermind." She answered her own question as she lifted the towel to see that it was just a deep furrow in his forearm.

"Aye, I told ya it was nothing. Murph, what did ye find?" Connor yelled back finally. Murphy walked back into the kitchen.

"Is anyone else hurt?" Katie asked meeting Murphy's eyes. He shook his head. '

"Only me idiot brother."

"What did you find?" Connor demanded again. Murphy turned his head towards him. He ran a hand through his hair.

"They fucking left us a message. In red paint. _SAINTS BEWARE_."

"What the fuck? Who do ya think it was?"

"I don't fuckin' know." Murphy answered and then cringed as his brother winced. Katie had started using the rubbing alcohol on the wound.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"He better be able to handle that, otherwise he's going to have a tough next few minutes." Murphy responded to her quietly. She frowned up at him.

"Why?"

"We've still got to close up the wound."

Katie moved her eyes to Connor, who nodded once. He didn't look too happy about it. Da moved into her view, holding the hot iron in his hand. Her eyes widened.

"What the fuck are you going to do with that?"

"Katie, go sit out in the living room."

"No, what are you going to do with the iron?"

"Go sit in the living room." Murphy told her again, grabbing her arm this time. She let him pull her out of the kitchen. He pointed at a chair. "Sit. We don't need you in there right now."

"What the fuck is going on?"

"Just stay the fuck there."

She could hear the quiet words and then the sizzling of heat meeting flesh. A muffled scream followed. She covered her mouth with her hand and then moved her hands to cover her ears. Her head hurt more now. The ache spreading from her temple down to the back of her neck. She knew now what they were doing. She'd heard about it from the hit men and the Mafioso over the last few years. But she'd never imagined it was this bad.

A warm hand covered her knee and she opened her eyes to see Murphy crouched in front of the chair, a blank look on his face. She saw the sweat at his hairline and knew this couldn't have been any easier on him than it had been for her to hear it. He'd probably held Connor down for the whole thing. Dropping her hands down from her ears, she sighed.

Da walked past them and gave her a small smile before walking out the door.

She was being a baby about this. If they could handle it, so could she. Moving Murphy's hand she tried to stand up, but was surprised to find the world spinning slowly. Hands pulled her back down and pressed her head between her knees.

"Slow now." His voice was soft. "Take a few deep breaths. You're too pale."

His hand rubbed slowly down her back and up again. There was a sharp pain when his hand reached her neck. Katie pushed him again and got up quickly. The world didn't spin so much this time. She saw Murphy staring at the reddened tips of his fingers before he looked back at her.

"What the fuck? You're fucking hurt."

She shook her head and moved quickly into the kitchen, not even giving a glance to Connor who watched this curiously. Murphy stepped into the kitchen behind her and held up with hand for Connor to see.

"She's fucking bleeding."

"Where are you hurt?" Connor asked sounding confused. Murphy moved forward and tried to grab Katie's arm. She moved away from him again and turned to unload the groceries. She remembered the knife now. She didn't want to think about it.

"Just leave me alone."

Arms wrapped around her from behind. She pushed on them, hitting and elbowing. She was somewhat satisfied when she heard the grunt.

"Let me go."

"Hold her still, Murph." Connor's voice was just to her left. Katie began to struggle more and she felt her hair being lifted up.

"Let me the fuck out of here."

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph. What the fuck happened to your fucking neck?"

"Nothing. God, just let me go." She heard Murphy sigh before releasing her. He moved around to face her and put his hand under her chin. His eyes roamed her face and hair before stopping at her right temple.

"You've got a nice bruise here too. What happened to ya?"

Katie was silent, not knowing where to start.

"You hurt anywhere else?"

She started to shake her head but then just shrugged. "I don't think so. Don't worry about me. Worry about Connor. He's the one who just got fucking shot."

"I'm fine. My arm has been taken care of."

"If that's what you call that." She shot back, not caring how it sounded.

"I'll be fine. Now what happened to you?"

Katie stared down, concentrating on not letting the tears go that were suddenly so close to the surface.

Murphy let go of her chin and grabbed her hands. He turned her arms over and then back over, satisfied to see there wasn't any obvious damage. He then maneuvered her to the chair next to Connor. "We need to get this cleaned up."

She nodded and kept her eyes on the table.

"So what happened to ya?" Connor's voice was quiet and Katie could hear the water running from behind her. She winced when Murphy pressed the wet towel down against her neck.

"Sorry." He mumbled and tried to rub the dried blood away with less pressure. She rubbed her hands over her face and then leaned her chin on them.

"How bad is it?" She finally asked, closing her eyes against the growing pain.

"A nice straight cut. It's not bleeding anymore. It'll probably leave a nice scar. My guess, it was a knife. So what the fuck happened?"

"I came home with the groceries and a bag broke out in the alley. I went out to grab the stuff and he grabbed me from behind and held a knife to the back of my neck." She felt the wet towel in Murphy's hand stop for a second before it continued moving. She raised her eyes to see Connor looking up at Murphy. After a second, he looked back down at her.

"What happened after that?" His voice was harder

"He…he said that those who snoop don't live long. That's really the last thing I remember. Until I woke up and it was dark."

They were silent for a moment. Connor leaned forward, careful to keep the weight off his bad arm.

"Did he do anything else to you?"

"What do you mean?" she sighed, and noticed her headache was coming back. She rubbed a hand over her forehead.

"Did he hurt you anywhere else?"

"Didn't we already go over this?" Frustration was apparent in her voice. "I don't really know. It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does."

She felt the wet towel leave her neck and a hand was on her knee again. Looking away from her hands, she found herself looking straight into Murphy's face. He looked into her eyes for a moment and she could see the concern there.

"What he's trying to say is…did he violate you or anything?"

"Violate me?" She repeated, her mind slowly grasping the concept. She glanced over at Connor who was watching her just as intently with a frown. She found herself staring down at Murphy again before answering. "No, I mean, I don't know, but I think I would know. Right?"

Murphy watched her for another minute before nodding slowly. "Aye, I think you'd know."

She felt the tension in the room dissipate a little as he stood up again. The towel ran softly over her neck again once more.

"I've got to use the rubbing alcohol now. It might sting a little here."

She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes. A hand grabbed her own and she squeezed tightly. The sting lasted for a moment before she felt a warm air being blown on the back of her neck. Goosebumps broke out all over her body and she felt a shiver race up her spine.

"Can I have my hand back now?" Connor's voice broke through her thoughts and she opened her eyes to look at him again.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

Murphy's fingers were warm on her neck as he taped a gauze pad over the back of her neck.

"You know that you are taping my hair down, right?"

He laughed softly. "Yeah, but unless you want a nice bowtie, I'm not sure how to cover it up."

"Thanks." Her voice was quiet as she reached up and covered his hand which was on her shoulder.

"So, were you going ta tell us?"

"Honestly, I hadn't thought that far."

"What time did ye get home with the groceries?"

"Six, why?

"Well, we got here at what…a quarter til?"

"Roughly forty-five minutes, that's more than enough to do what little damage is actually done here. Was the paint still wet, Murph?"

He shook his head. "They painted first. That's what they were here for. The rest of just a fucking bonus."

"Coincidence?"

"Not fucking likely."

Katie held up a hand to stop them. "Okay, no more twinspeak or whatever. English, please."

"The guy who did that to you was involved in what happened in here." Murphy leaned back and sighed.

"Okay, that makes sense."

"Ye don't see too bothered by that."

"Why would I be?" She sighed and stood up. Grabbing two glasses, she filled them with water and set one in front of Connor and the other at her seat. Reaching to the top of the fridge, she pulled the large bottle of Tylenol down.

"They were targeting us, and got you instead." Connor eyed the water glass. "What's that for?"

She shook the Tylenol and then winced. "If that hurts even a fraction of what my head hurts, you need some of this." After taking two she passed the bottle to Connor and leaned back with her eyes closed.

"They might not necessarily be after you. Well, at least not after you for what you think they are after you for."

"Now I'm gonna have to ask you to speak English. What?" Murphy sat up and put his elbows on the table.

Katie was silent for a moment before sitting up and opening her eyes. "I haven't told you guys everything."

Two sets of blue eyes focused on her and after a moment she realized they were waiting for her to go on. Taking a deep breath, she looked at Murphy, then at Connor and finally down at her hands.

"I had been kidnapped, that all was true. That's why I broke my cover and ruined virtually a year of work."

"Your cover?" Murphy's voice was colder than she'd ever heard it. She looked up quickly and shook her head.

"No, I'm not with the police or anything." She could see them both relax a little. They still watched her warily and she knew they were waiting for an explanation.

"It was more of a personal matter. I'd worked my way up with the family in New York. Something happened about a month ago with them. I never figured out what it was. But I was with one of the girls, a daughter of a major higher up. An under boss, I believe. I'd never meet Janie before. They pulled us out of the back of the limo and the next thing I knew we were at that warehouse where you found us."

"There wasn't another girl there, Katie. After you collapsed, we checked to make sure."

"I know, Connor. They moved her just a few hours before that. I don't know what happened to her. I couldn't find out."

"Now I wish we could have taken out more of them." Murphy muttered. She gave him a small smile before rubbing a hand against her forehead. He exchanged a look with Connor before moving his eyes back to her.

"What did they do to you?"

Katie sighed and dropped her hand away from her face. She kept her eyes on the table. "I suppose you have the right to know."

"No, we don't have the right. But ye can tell us if ye'd like." Connor's voice was slightly softer than Murphy's had been. She looked up and saw they were both still watching her.

"No, you do have the right." Sighing again, she got to her feet and began pulling things out of the bags. Murphy got up and reached into the bags with her

"Go sit down. Me head hurts just watching ye."

"Put the groceries away, I'm just going to get supper going."

"Let Murph do it, he's got ta earn his keep somehow."

"Trust him to cook, ha!" Katie laughed, shaking her head. "I'm just making something simple. Is your Da going to be back, ya think?"

"No, he tends to go off for a while if you haven't noticed by now. Enjoys time alone and all."

Murphy moved over to stand beside her. "What are ye making then?"

"Pizza. Are you going to hover for a while or what?"

"I can do it. Just tell me what to do."

"Okay. First step, sit down and let me fucking make it on my own."

Murphy backed away slightly with his hands up. "Okay, okay."

"Katie."

"Connor, if I'm going to tell you guys everything, than I may as well be productive while I do it. And we need supper anyhow."

She ignored the fact that Murphy was still hovering, now just a few safer feet away. Pulling out the large pizza crust, she opened the jar of sauce and took a deep breath.

"Like I said it was personal. When I was sixteen, they killed my parents." She only paused for a moment before going on. She didn't want the pity or the apologies she knew they were ready to give her. "And for the first two months of going undercover, that what I thought it was all about. But then I realized that as much as I missed my parents and as much as I hated those men who killed them, I didn't need vengeance for them."

"What was it about then?" Murphy's voice came from only a few feet away. She spooned the pizza sauce on the crust and started spreading it around, forcing her hands not to shake.

"My older brother was after vengeance. They got him to kill others and then they killed him. Those bastards took him away from us. And I will finish what he started."

They all kept silent as she finished putting the cheese and toppings on. After she opened the over door and slid it in, Katie remained facing it, not knowing if she was ready to turn around.

"Us?"

"Hummm?" She turned and rubbed her forehead again without realizing it. Murphy put his hand on her shoulders and gently led her to the chair.

"Now you sit."

"Who's us, Katie?" Connor asked again. She frowned at him.

"Us?"

"Yeah, you said they took him away from 'us'."

"Oh. I have a younger brother too. He's the one I haven't spoken to in almost two years. Since Brett died."

"We're sorry, Katie." Murphy's voice was so light that she barely heard it. She glanced up and saw both of the twins were watching her still. Choking back something that was half between a laugh and a sob, she nodded.

"So am I. But I don't want pity. Pity doesn't help."

"Vengeance doesn't either."

"You two are hardly in a place to lecture me." She glared at Murphy.

"That's a discussion for another time." Connor broke in. The timer on the oven went off and Murphy opened the door.

"That look done?"

Katie nodded. "Take it out. Potholder, Murph!" She looked back at Connor. "So what are we going to do?"

"Well, I don't think it matters who they are after. They know who we are. And I think you're right. They know who you are too."

Murphy leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. "I certainly didn't expect this trouble already."

"Already?"

"Yeah, we just got back here. We haven't been back since…"

"Since Rocco." Connor finished quietly. He and Murphy shared a long look. Katie remained silent for a moment. She'd read the article about Rocco's death, too.

"Why did you come back now?"

"Well," Connor shrugged. "It's been over a year…"

"It was time to come home." Murphy finished this time with a casual looking shrug. He turned around after a moment and grabbed a knife to cut the pizza. Connor leaned back and opened the fridge from his chair. He grabbed two beers, set them on the table and went after a third. Sighing, Katie stood up and went to the cupboard from plates.

Murphy reached out and blocked her path with a fork. He pointed at her chair. "Sit."

"Murph."

"Sit."

"If Connor can grab beer with his good arm, I can certainly grab plates." She pushed past the fork and grabbed the stack of foam plates and tossed them to the table. "So are you guys going to be moving now?"

"Depends. We gotta talk to Da first."

"And it also depends on whether Smecker could even find us another place."

"Smecker?"

Connor smiled at the tone of her question. "Yeah. He's FBI."

"What?" She gaped at them. "Why are you working with an FBI agent?"

"He supports what we do. Or, well, at least helps us stay away from those looking for us."

"He also finds us our jobs for the most part." Murphy set the pizza in the middle of the table. "He's kind of like our own personal 'Charlie'."

Katie grabbed a slice and raised an eyebrow. "Charlie?"

"Yeah. You know, Charlie's Angels." Connor attempted to explain. She nodded.

"We're kind of like Smecker's Saints." Murphy grinned and opened his beer. Katie just laughed and shook her head.

"Okay, that was a pretty good one."

"Don't encourage his jokes, Katie."

"Like yours are any better, Charlie."

"Wait, I thought Smecker was Charlie."

"No, Connor here thinks he's Charlie Bronson."

"Who?"

"Nevermind." They both said in unison.


	4. Chapter 4

"Oh, shit." Katie sat up from her relaxed position on the couch. She looked around but found no clock. "What time is it?"

"Probably close to midnight." Connor answered, turning his head only slightly to watch her. Murphy glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes, but kept his attention mostly on the television.

"Fuck." She stood up and put a hand to her forehead. "Fuck."

"What?"

"I gotta call work. Fuck."

"You've said that already." Murphy mumbled before leaning forward to look at her across Connor, who was in the middle. "Why do you need to call?"

"I was supposed to go there tonight. Doc thought they might have a crowd. Wanted me to start a night early. Dammit."

Connor took another drag of his cigarette before glancing away from the television again. "He's not gonna fire you over one night. He'll understand."

"I know. I just…I just didn't want to start out this way."

"He'll understand." Murphy agreed and nodded toward the kitchen. "Call him if it'll make you feel better."

Katie nodded and picked up the phone. She pulled out the number Doc had written down for her and dialed quickly. Doc picked up on the third ring.

"'lo?"

"Doc, it's Katie."

"Are y-y-y-ya okay, l-lass? Where are ya?"

"I'm fine. I'm so sorry. We…we had a break-in here. I got caught up. I just forgot. I'm sorry, Doc."

"Is everybody o-okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine."

"Good. N-n-now don't w-worry yourself. I'll see ya tomorrow night."

"Thanks, Doc. Goodnight."

Katie hung up the phone and moved to the kitchen doorway, leaning her head against the wood frame.

"Well, how many lashes?" Connor asked without taking his eyes away this time.

"None, I…he…" Katie's voice broke and she found herself surprisingly close to tears. Both twins looked at her quickly.

"What's wrong, Katie?" Connor leaned forward, muting the television. She shook her head and was mortified when a few tears escaped.

"Nothing. He was just so nice about it. This is stupid. I don't know why I'm crying." She wiped at the tears quickly, only to have more follow. Murphy exchanged a glance with Connor before getting to his feet.

"Hey, it's okay now." He spoke softly. Katie gave in to her sobs as his arms slipped around her. He ran a hand down her dark hair, careful to avoid putting pressure on her neck. "Just let it out now."

After a few moments, Katie pulled back and found herself only starting to cry again. She was tired and achy. Her neck burned. She buried her face into Murphy's worn t-shirt again, wrapping her arms around him tightly.

"I'm sorry." She managed to say eventually and was surprised that they could even understand her muffled words.

"Shhh. Don't apologize."

"I'm such a baby." She stepped back away from him and rubbed her hands over her face. Murphy kept one arm around her while he brushed her hair away from her face.

"No. If you were a baby, you'd've broken down much sooner than this."

"Katie, you've been kidnapped, held hostage and attacked…and that's just in the last two fuckin' months." Connor pointed out and put out his cigarette before relaxing back into the couch. "Aye, I think you're tougher than Murph here is, actually."

Katie watched as Murphy made a face at Connor before she gave into laughter.

"Which just means you're way tougher than Connor here." Murphy smiled down at her and moved his arm away from her. "Go sleep. You're exhausted."

She nodded slowly and turned to go when he put his hand on her shoulder.

"Wait. Stay here." He turned and walked into the kitchen. Katie gave a weak smile to Connor.

"You two practiced at dealing with hysterical females?"

Connor laughed. "Hardly. Must come naturally. And you weren't hysterical."

"Okay, quasi-hysterical."

"Do ye feel better at least?"

She meet his gaze for a second before nodding with another small smile. "Sadly enough I do."

"No, that's good that ya do." His eyes were gentle as he smiled at her. Katie just shook her head with a laugh. "What?"

"You just…you just remind me of my brother. You've got that big brother thing down, huh?"

"Hey, that's not proven." Murphy's voice came from behind her. Katie turned to see that he held a glass of water in one hand and two Tylenol in the other. He looked strangely like Connor had the first time she'd met them. Katie smiled her thanks and took the pills.

"Not proven?"

"Ma won't tell us."

Katie finished her water and put it back into Murphy's waiting hand. "What about your birth certificates? Wouldn't they tell?"

Connor shook his head, rubbing the back of it with his hand. "The doctor's hand writing is near fucking illegible. There are only a few minutes between the two o'us. But we can't tell if Murph was born at 5:11 or 5:17."

"Connor was born at 5:14." Murphy clarified. Katie laughed softly as she raised her hand to rub her forehead again. Connor nodded slightly toward her and Murphy nodded in agreement. "Go try to sleep now."

She nodded and gave them another small smile. "Thanks." Turning, she headed toward her room and prayed for sleep.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Katie shifted in her bed again, unable to lie comfortably in her bed. Her neck felt like it was on fire, but she knew she couldn't take any more Tylenol. Footsteps made soft echoes down the hall and she saw the figure stop in her doorway.

"You feeling any better?" Murphy's voice was barely above a whisper. She shook her head slightly and bit her lip. It hurt. But she lied.

"I'm fine."

She heard him fumbling around, his hand hitting the wall.

"Yer a bad liar. Where's the light switch?"

"The bulb is out anyhow. Remember, I told you yesterday."

"Hold on. I'll be right back."

She heard his feet shuffled down the hallway and after a second, they came back again.

"Where's Connor?" she asked, and then gasped when the flashlight turned on. "Dammit, that's bright."

"Sorry. He's putting the food away."

"Murph. You left him to do it one armed?"

"No babying. Besides, that's not the first time he's been shot in the arm."

"What?" Katie sat up as Murphy stepped over to her bed. He used the flashlight to shine down on the back of her neck.

"Good, it's not bleeding through." He kept his hand resting on her shoulder. She forced herself not to close her eyes against the warmth of it.

"Murphy. How many times have you two been shot?"

"Well…" He started but then froze as he raised the flashlight. Katie watched as his eyes widened. She looked behind her and saw the red paint on the wall. He pulled the flashlight away before she could read it.

"Connor!" Murphy yelled and Katie could hear the fear in his voice.

"What does it say?" She jumped out of bed and turned to face the wall, but he kept the light on the floor.

"Connor!" He yelled again. Connor appeared in the doorway with a look that was a mixture of annoyance and concern on his face.

"What?"

Murphy raised the light to the wall again. "Look."

"Oh, fuck." Connor muttered as their eyes read the message on the wall together. '_JUST LIKE ROCCO.'_

Murphy raised his hand to his face and scrubbed it across his eyes, as if he hoped that would clear the message. "Fuck. Christ. Fuck!" He screamed and threw the flashlight onto Katie's bed. She jumped but couldn't look away from the wall. Connor moved behind her and put a hand on Murphy's shoulder without a word.

"Well, that changes things." Connor finally muttered. Murphy shoved off his brother's hand and ran his hands over his face again. Connor turned and looked at Katie's profile.

"Katie. Grab your stuff." He told her.

"What?" She finally tore her gaze from the wall. Murphy leaned over and handed her the pillow.

"Take that." He handed the flashlight to Connor and pulled the comforter off her bed, balling it in his arms.

"What? Where?"

"You're sleeping in our room." Murphy used his hand on her elbow to steer her towards the door. She moved away slightly to look at him and then Connor.

"Wait. No, I can't do that."

"Well, you can't sleep in here."

Her eyes went back to the wall even though she couldn't see it through the darkness. She didn't need to. The red dripping words had been burned into her brain. '_JUST LIKE ROCCO'_.

"No, I can't." She finally agreed. Sighing, she stepped out of the room. "But I can't take one of your beds. I'll sleep on the couch."

"That's not any safer. Da's not back yet."

"I- safer?"

"Yeah. That's not just a fuckin' greeting on the wall." Murphy moved toward their room down the hall and Katie followed just to continue the conversation.

"But what if it wasn't for me? Isn't that Da's room?"

"Your clothes were in there, Katie. It was obviously your room."

"Besides," Connor added as he set the flashlight on the nightstand between the two beds. "Da can take care of himself."

She watched in silence as Murphy took his own comforter and made a softer bed out of it on the floor. He set his pillow on it before sitting down to take off his boots. After getting them off, he finally looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Lay down." He nodded toward his bed. Katie opened her mouth to argue but saw that Connor had the same stubborn set to his face. She couldn't win against the both of them. She assumed that Murphy was on the floor because Connor was wounded. How had they decided this without even discussing it?

Nodding finally, she tossed her pillow onto his bed and crawled onto it, pulling the comforter over her. She relaxed and tried to fall asleep but could still feel their eyes on her. Sliding her arm underneath the pillow, she attempted to get more comfortable. Her knuckles hit something cold and metal that was twisted in the folds of the sheets. Sitting up, she pulled it out and held it up. It was fold-away knife. Sighing, she raised her eyebrow at Murphy. He gave her a small smile.

"Oh yeah, forgot about that."

"That I find hard to believe with the lump it makes underneath the pillow."

He just laughed softly and slid it underneath of his own pillow. Looking up at Connor, she was only slightly surprised that he didn't seem to think it was abnormal. He probably had one of his own, hidden somewhere. Laying down, Katie felt under her pillow for anything else. She shut her eyes. The room was silent but still not relaxed.

"Go to sleep, guys." She said finally without opening her eyes. There was a moment of silence.

"We will if you do." Connor finally answered with a yawn and the light was turned off.

Even with her eyes shut, she could hear their rustling in their bedding. She could feel their tension and uneasiness. She knew she was safe, but still, she couldn't relax. It would be while, she knew, before any of them got to sleep.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Murphy woke slowly the next morning, confused for a moment as to why he was on the floor. He sat up as the answer came to him and shot a glance at his brother. He was still sleeping peacefully on his good arm, his wounded one across his chest. Murphy than glanced at his own bed and was surprised to see it was empty. Katie was gone! The bed was still slightly warm under his outstretched palm. She couldn't have been gone long.

He could hear the coffee pot percolating when he reached the hallway. The scent of coffee drifted toward him. She was curled up on the side nearest where Da sat, her head resting on the arm of the couch. She looked up as he came in and smiled.

"Morning."

He gave her a smile and leaned against the door frame. Da gave him a slightly groggy nod before looking back down into his coffee. Murphy felt a little like he'd interrupted something. His gaze moved back to Katie.

"You look tired."

"I am tired. But I couldn't sleep. Are you sure there weren't more unnecessary lumps in your bed?"

He just laughed softly. Rubbing his eyes, he glanced over at the coffee pot. "I need coffee."

She rose to get it but he reached out and held up a hand to stop her.

"I'll get my own coffee."

"Just trying to help."

"Sit. Stay."

She made a face at his back but turned her attention back to her lukewarm cup. Murphy moved back to the living room and sat next to her on the couch. He set his cup down and had lifted her hair before she even realized he was there. She could feel the warmth of his body as he leaned over her.

"What?"

"Just checking your neck here."

"Why? It's fine."

"The bandage probably needs changed."

"Fine, Florence. But leave this one off, I'm gonna shower in a few minutes here."

Murphy nodded his reply as he began to work the bandage off. She winced slightly.

"Sorry, it's kind of stuck to your hair here. Da, did she tell you what happened?"

Da nodded slightly and glanced over at them. "Aye. She did."

"Ow, Murph!" She winced again.

"Sorry. I'm almost done here."

She shrugged but felt his hand tighten slightly on her shoulder once the bandage had come off.

"This must hurt like hell." His accent sounded slightly thicker. She shrugged again.

"Part of the reason I couldn't sleep."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"What were you going to do? Lend me your neck?"

Wincing again, she moved away slightly as he gently ran his finger around the open wound. She didn't have to see it to know there was a bruise there. She'd felt the slightly dull knife pressing into her neck hard enough. Only the tip seemed to be sharp to make the slice. She leaned away from him again.

"Go bug Conner's wound."

"He hits harder. 'sides, he's still sleeping."

"Not anymore." Connor spoke from the doorway, already looking more awake than both Murphy and Katie. He looked at his brother for a minute before walking to the other side of Katie and leaning down to look at her neck too.

"Ow. I think you've got more than a small cut there now."

Sighing, Katie leaned forward and stood up, moving away from the two brothers.

"Bug each other now. I'm going to go shower."

All three of them were silent until they heard the door to the bathroom shut harder than necessary. Connor poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down next to Murphy.

"Well, that was fun."

"Fuck. What was? Getting shot? Finding the words painted on our walls? Or finding our place trashed?"

They were both silent for a moment.

"So, what do you think really we should do?" Murphy asked finally. They both looked at Da as he handed Connor a cigarette and lit his own. Connor took a drag before answering.

"Move on?"

"Already? We just got here."

"Aye, and someone already found us." Da spoke up finally. Both brothers nodded slightly at that.

"Did Katie talk to ya, Da?" Connor asked after taking a long drink of his coffee.

"Yes, the lass told me everything. She's had a rough go at it."

"And we're not making it any easier." Murphy muttered, keeping his eyes on his coffee. Connor nudged him slightly.

"At least she's safe if she's with us."

"Like last fuckin' night, huh?"

"Nonetheless m'boy, she's safer with us than she is without us." Da pointed out.

"Did she tell you about the message in her room?" Murphy asked after a moment.

"Yes. And we both agreed that there were several different meanings of it."

"How are there different meanings?"

"Murph, it doesn't say how she's like Rocco." Connor glanced at him. Da nodded.

"Exactly. She's not involved in anything we do like Rocco was."

"No, but she may die because of us. Just like fucking Rocco." Murphy set his coffee down and got to his feet.

"Murphy. She also has her own connections with the mob. As Rocco did. Connections that already brought her here." Da stared at him until Murphy finally met his eyes. "Come sit back down. We have more to discuss."

After a slight hesitation, Murphy moved to sit down again. He lit another cigarette and leaned back with a frown.

Connor stared at his brother for a moment. "When do we move?"

"Well, Murph and I are going to talk ta Smecker in a short while. He's agreed to meet us at the diner."

"And what'll I do?"

"Play injured. Keep an eye on the lass."

Connor made a face at that. "Play injured? Like she'll believe me. I've all but fuckin' convinced her I'm fine."

"Doesn't matter. It'll keep ye with her."

"Yessir."

"And we won't be gone long. We'll be able to decide more later."

"I don't think she'll give ya much of a problem, Connor." Murphy finished his coffee and stood up. "She's scared."

"I think I can handle Katie."

Murphy just grinned at him when he heard the door to the bathroom open. "I would hope you can. I'm gonna go shower quick."

Connor nodded and leaned back with a frown. He glanced over at Da.

"I don't like having to do this. She should be free to come and go. Now she's like a God damn hostage again."

"It's only for a short while, son. Just until we move."

Connor sighed and nodded again. Even that seemed like too long.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Murphy walked back out into the living room, Katie had divided her attention between watching the morning news, eating cereal and painting her toenails. He paused for a second before moving towards her with a laugh.

"What in God's name are ya doing?"

She looked up surprised but just smiled and shook her head. "This is called multi-tasking."

"That's called insanity. Yer disappointing me Katie, yer becoming a girl."

"Well, as much as I hate to disappoint you. Blah." She laughed and then looked back up at him. "So what are you all spiffed up for?"

"Spiffed up?" He raised an eyebrow and sat in Da's chair. Untying his shoes, he bent down to put them on.

"You know. Showered, shaved. Not so scruffy looking. Got a hot lunch date?"

"Yeah, he's meeting Smecker." Connor answered with a grin from the doorway. He forced himself to hold his arm stiffly as he moved to sit on the other end of the couch.

Murphy just laughed and pointed at his brother. "Not funny."

"Says the man who's laughing."

Katie wrinkled her forehead. "What? Why is that funny?"

"Smecker is…well…" Murphy couldn't figure out how to explain it.

"Smecker might like to have a date with Murph. As well as any other man. I don't know his exact type, but…"

"Ahhh." Katie just smiled and returned her attention to her toenails. "I didn't know you felt that way about Smecker, Murph."

Connor snorted a laugh. "Are ya hiding secrets from yer own brother?"

Murphy lit a cigarette and pointed it at Connor before taking a drag. "If only you weren't hurt…"

Connor glared at him but kept his mouth shut. Katie turned to Connor frowning.

"Your arm's bothering you?"

He just stared forward at the television, not giving an answer either way. She sighed and looked at Murphy with raised eyebrows.

"He just doesn't want to admit it." Murphy shrugged, ignoring a glare from Connor. He just gave him a look back until Connor sighed.

"Yeah, it's bothering me a little. If nothing else, my arm is completely stiff." He gave Katie a smile, but she just frowned more.

"So much for that whole 'no babying' thing." She gave Murphy a look and he just shook his head.

"This is normal. He was just shot for Christ's sake."

Connor gave him a look and they both simultaneously crossed themselves. Katie just smiled at that but didn't say anything. As Da walked down the hall, Murphy stood up and grabbed his coat.

"You kids be good now. We'll be back."

"Where are ya going?" Katie looked up from her toes again. Da cocked an eyebrow at her as he stared at her feet. "Good God, you'd think none of you had been around a girl. I'm painting my toenails."

Murphy just laughed again. "We're gonna find us a new apartment."

"Smecker's goin' ta be waiting. Let's go." Da headed toward the door and Murphy pulled his coat on as he moved to follow.

"Tell Charlie hi!" Katie called and heard Murphy laugh again as the door shut. She glanced over at Connor who appeared to be glaring at the television. "Made you stay behind, huh?"

He nodded curtly before sighing and looking over at her. "Yeah, group decision."

"Of which you didn't get a vote."

Grinning he nodded again before turning his attention back to the television. Katie just smiled as she saw that he'd found yet another Western movie. These guys had a thing for vintage movies.

"It's not really your arm, is it?" Her question caught him off guard and he looked over at her quickly. As he opened his mouth to answer, she cut him off with a look. "Don't lie, Connor."

"My arm does hurt a little, if that counts."

"But you're here because of me."

He paused. "Aye."

Katie sighed and relaxed back into the couch beside him before giving him another look. "Sorry to break up the three amigos."

"Don't worry about it. It was either you or Smecker. I drew the good straw."

"So what am I supposed to do about my errands?"

He shrugged and kept his attention back on the television. "Wait for us to go with ye. I'm sure I can convince Murph to leave the apartment later on. We can all go shopping for more of yer clothes or whatever."

Katie restrained herself from smacking him in his good arm. "I don't need to go clothes shopping, Connor. I have other things to do."

"Whatever. We'll do those later on." He tossed the remote over to her lap and got up. "I'm going to go get in the shower. Enjoy some John Wayne."

She gave him a half-smile and started to change the channels as he left the room. The phone rang just as she had gotten into a travel channel 'best hotels' show. Looking around, she realized the Connor wasn't within hearing distance. She jumped up and grabbed the phone.

"Hello?"

"Who is this?" A thickly older female's voice came over the line. Katie just grinned as she heard the Irish in it. Three guesses who this was.

"Let me guess, you're looking for an Irish twin."

"Aye, but who are ye?"

"Katie. Or, well, Kathleen actually."

"A good Irish name. What are ya doin' there, lass?"

"Ah, well…" Katie started but then realized that she had no idea whether their mother knew about their recently career change. "I needed help. They took me in, I guess you could say."

"Ah, so yer one of their innocents, huh?"

"Ummm…yeah, I guess."

"Are they treatin' ya right?"

"Of course. They've been nothing but good to me."

"That's me boys for ya. Is either of them there?"

"Yes, Connor is. Hold on." Katie held the phone to her chest and yelled for Connor. "He'll be here in a sec. I think he's out of the shower by now."

"Now, Katie, can I ask ye a question?"

"Sure."

"How are me boys doin' really? They always tell me their alright, but they can't stand to have me worry. What's the truth?"

"They are fine. They take good care of each other."

"They always have. Always, always have. But they've been too long without a good womanly influence. Can ya keep an eye on them, Katie?"

"Of course." Katie said instantly and felt someone honored to be asked. "I'll do my best." She grinned as Connor came into the kitchen finally. His hair was still wet and spiky but he'd pulled on clean jeans and a darker blue t-shirt. He nodded to the phone with a questioning look.

"That's all I ask." Their ma answered softly. Katie grinned again.

"Well, one of your two favorite sons is here. It was nice chatting with ya." She handed the phone to Connor. "It's your ma."

Connor laughed softly, finally understanding the conversation. He took the phone quickly.

"Hey, Ma, ye there?"

Katie left him in the kitchen and moved quickly to her room. This was the perfect chance to get away. She had more than one errand to run and she didn't want any of McManuses with her. It had to be a surprise.

"No, Ma. I swear, we're fine. Yes, both of us." Katie heard Connor laughing as she moved back down the hallway. His back was to her. Pulling her coat on quickly, she quickly opened the door and shut it behind her again without a sound. If she had any luck, she'd be blocks away before he noticed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was nearly lunchtime and the apartment was deserted when she got back. She winced and sighed. There'd be hell to pay when Connor got back. She just hoped he'd get there before Murphy and Da did. One McManus was bad enough to face. Especially since she now regretted going without them. Someone had been following her while she was out. She never got a good look at them, but the same dark clothed man had remained roughly a block away from her for the entire trip out and back. Thinking twice, she locked the door and looked out the windows. No sign of anyone following her to the apartment at least.

Setting her sacks down, she lifted out the small white paint can and the paintbrush before moving down the hall to her bedroom. That was the most troublesome message. It had to go first. Whoever had written those messages could go to hell, because she wasn't going to allow this to bother them all for another day.

Working quickly, she managed to get the words covered up with only two coats in less than twenty minutes. The apartment was still quiet. Where the hell was Connor? Better yet, when were Da and Murphy going to be home? She wanted to be done before they got there.

Katie lifted the can and brush and moved down to the twins' bedroom quickly. She stared up at the message for a moment before moving forward. It was such a generic message. Had they been after her? Or after them?

She took her shoes off quickly before jumping up onto Murphy's bed first. Moving the paint brush slowly, she felt some satisfaction as she covered the end of the phrase first. The word became only a slight hint of pink under the thick white paint.

The feeling of being watched came over her as she was finishing with second coat of the last letter. Instead of turning to acknowledge them instantly, she finished the final stroke before turning around. Murphy stood at the door chewing as his thumb, his eyes wide at the sight of the freshly painted walls.

"Katie." He said, but then stopped, unsure of what else to say. She just smiled in response and stepped down off of Connor's bed.

"I didn't hear you all come back."

"Da and I just got here. Connor's watching tv. We brought lunch." He answered slowly, his eyes still on the wall. Then he switched his gaze to her. Katie caught a glimpse of emotion before he turned and called over his shoulder.

"Conn, Da. Come 'ere."

They both could hear the movement of footsteps down the hall. Murphy looked at her again.

"Thank you." He said simply before Connor moved past him with a concerned look. Katie fought a grin as Connor gave her a quick glare before rising his eyes to the wall. She just nodded back. Da walked in slowly, his eyes on the wall.

"Yer a sweet girl, Katie." Da finally said, after they all stared at the wall for a moment.

"Honestly, I couldn't stand the thought of looking at them for another day." She answered with a shrug. He nodded and moved to the doorway before looking back.

"We've brought ye both a sandwich."

Connor put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulders. "A fool's errand, Katie. But one that came from the heart. Thanks." She just nodded, starting to feel somewhat embarrassed. She hadn't considered the response. She just couldn't stand having those words stain their walls.

With a look at Murphy, Connor let go of Katie and slipped out of the room. She watched him go before looking back Murphy. After a moment, his eyes left the wall and moved back to look at her.

"He's right, ya know. Ya've got a good heart, Katie. I never even thought of covering them up."

"After last night's reaction and all…"

He nodded and moved to take the paint can and brush from her hands. Setting it on the floor, his slipped his arm over her shoulder and smiled down at her. "Again, thank you."

She just smiled and let him led her out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen.

Da handed her a sandwich as she walked into the kitchen.

"We didn't know what you'd want, lass."

"Honestly, I'm hungry enough, it doesn't matter, Da."

He grinned before turning his attention back to his own food. Katie raised an eyebrow as she saw all three of them had a beer out. She just grinned when she saw the can of cola set out for her.

"Beer? Already?"

"Just a primer for the evening." Murphy laughed and took another bite. She frowned at him.

"What?"

"We thought we'd walk ya to work and hang out for a while."

"Ah…speaking of, what time is it?"

Murphy shrugged and Connor just shook his head with a smile.

"We really need to get you a watch, Katie."

"Well," Murphy pulled a bag from near his feet and set it on the table. "This might work for now."

"What is it?"

"Smecker's idea. Pre-pay cell phones."

Katie laughed. "Let me guess. He's going to call and give you orders just like Charlie on them."

Da shook his head, the movie reference not quite connecting with him. "No, he thought it might be best if we were all able ta contact one another. Since we're not together as much as we used to be."

Connor reached into the bag and pulled out the phones one at a time. He handed the black one to Da, the dark grey one to Murphy and set the dark blue one in front of himself. It was then that he grinned and pulled the last one out of the bag. Katie's jaw dropped as she saw the phone he set in front of her with a laugh. It was silver and was decorated with red and pink hearts.

Both Murphy and Connor were laughing as she continued to stare at this.

"Wait, you guys get the cool looking phones. And I get this?"

"Yeah, it reminded me of ya." Murphy laughed and took a drink of his beer. "I think those pink hearts match yer toes."

Katie didn't know whether to laugh or hit him, so she settled instead with a glare as she took another bite of her sandwich. Dhe picked up the phone and started punching buttons to see how it worked. She continued to look at her phone as Connor's began to ring. He wrinkled his forehead before holding it up to his ear and answering it.

"Hello?"

"Your brother is an idiot." Katie laughed through her own phone. Murphy reached over and took the phone from her, making sure it was hung up.

"Yer wasting minutes."

"But still telling the truth." She grabbed her phone back and glanced down at the time display. "I've still got a little while yet. Think a good Western is on?" She shot a laughing glance at Connor who raised an eyebrow.

"There's always a good Western on." He replied with a rather serious tone before cracking a smile. Katie just rolled her eyes and threw her sandwich wrapper in the trash before moving out to the living room. She'd barely sat down and was reaching for the remote as another hand darted out to get it first.

"Hey!" She looked up at a laughing Murphy.

"I'm not watchin' a Western again."

"I teasing Conn. I don't like Westerns."

"It's my turn to choose anyhow," he said as he plopped down beside her. He changed the channels quickly before seeing enough blood and guts to satisfy him.

"Let me guess, _Rambo_?"

"Actually no, _Commando_. Right genre, wrong actor." Murphy kept his eyes on the screen but tapped Katie on the side of the head with the remote.

"Ouch! What the fuck was that for?"

"For leaving without Connor. Don't do it again."

"Murphy!"

He looked over at her with a raised eyebrow. "What?"

"'Don't do it again'?" She raised both of her eyebrows in response. He grinned.

"Yeah. Fine. Don't do it again, please."

"That's better. And I won't have a reason. I have no more secret shopping to do as of yet."

He turned completely toward her this time and tilted his head. "You risked all of that for secret shopping?"

"Yeah, why else do you think I did it?"

"We figured you just didn't want to be baby-sat."

"Well, I don't. But I'm not going to cause trouble because of it."

He leaned back beside her again and kept his eyes on the television. "What secret shopping?"

"The paint."

After a slight pause, Murphy reached over and tapped her on the head again with the remote.

"Dammit, Murph!" She grabbed the remote and began to tug on it. "Give me the thing."

Connor looked around the corner and started laughing at the commotion. Murphy chose to look up just then and lost grip on the remote. Katie shifted it to her side with a smile. She instantly changed the channel to TLC without even flipping through.

"Let's see what you two will be tortured with now. Oh, it's _What Not to Wear._ You two lucked out. It could have been as bad as _A Baby Story_."

Connor just shook his head and took a seat in the chair closest to Murphy.

"So we're not moving yet, huh?"

Murphy shook his head and peeled his eyes away from the television. Clothes shopping was a poor substitute for blood and guts. "Nope, but soon. Smecker's gotta find us a place first."

"How was Smecker?" Katie asked with a smile, keeping her eyes on the screen.

"Ah, fine. I guess."

"And how as yer date?" Connor barely had time to laugh before Murphy dove at him and they both landed on the floor. Katie jumped up quickly and at a loss for anything else to do, she moved the coffee table out of the way as they rolled toward it.

Murphy had Connor pinned quickly and he leaned over him, careful to really only hold down his good arm. "Say it! Say it!"

"I'd rather die first!" Connor replied dramatically and they both grinned. Katie let out a laugh that distracted Murphy. Connor simply wrapped his arm around Murphy's neck and flipped him, landing on top with a grunt.

"Now, you say it!"

"Never!"

Katie watched them grapple for a few more minutes, counting how many times they managed to flip each other. She could only figure that was part of their fun. Finally, she moved toward them and kicked lightly at Connor, who happened to be not the bottom.

"Give it up."

"I'll let him up when he says it!"

"Murphy, how is that fair with Connor having a hurt arm?"

"He knew that when he started this." He turned his attention down to Connor again. "Say it!"

With a sigh, Katie moved in and grabbed Murphy by the waist. She dragged him off Connor with surprising ease. It was only when she dropped him and turned to go that she figured out her mistake. A hand grabbed her ankle and she found herself flipped and falling hard onto the floor.

"Ow!" She frowned at Murphy who sat on top of her, pinning her with a grin. She pulled a loosely pinned arm away to touch the back of her head. Murphy's attention was on her hand as she moved it back out, making it much easier for her to grab his side and flip him. She sat on his stomach and leaned over him with a frown.

"Some warning would be nice."

"Yeah, I could say that same. That was a dirty trick. Making me think yer head was bleeding." He attempted not to smile but couldn't. Katie could hear Connor laughing behind her.

"Say it!" She said as she leaned down and felt Murphy start to laugh.

"That doesn't work with you."

"What are you supposed to say?"

"Connor tell her. I'm not saying it while pinned."

Connor moved into her view and laughed with his arms crossed over his chest. "We have our own version of 'Uncle'."

"Which is?"

"Yer the older twin." Connor started laughed again as Katie grinned back down at Murphy.

"Say it anyway!"

"Never!" Murphy pulled his hands from her grasp quickly and she realized then he'd been using absolutely no force with her. His hands gripped her abdomen and she found herself pinned quickly again.

"Murphy! You weren't even trying before."

"I might have if I'd known what a dirty cheat ye are."

"Liar."

He laughed. "Humm…this might work. Say it!"

"Say what?"

"Say Murphy's the older twin."

"Thou shalt not lie." She laughed harder as Murphy leaned over her again.

"Say it!"

"Never!" She pulled at her arms and was surprised when he simply held her wrists tighter.

"Not so easy now that I'm actually trying. Do you give up?"

"Nope."

"Well, I could sit here all day long. But you have to go to work."

"Dammit, Murphy!"

"Say it!"

"No!" She managed to slide up and used her head to knock his elbows outward, making him lose his support. He let go of her hands to keep from falling onto her. She used this advantage to twist her body and land on top of him again.

"You are a dirty cheater!"

"Hardly. You use your strength, Murph. I'll use my brains." She leaned over him with a laugh. He shook his head.

"Why do I have a feeling you've done this many times before?"

"I did. Two brothers. Both ended up being stronger than me early on. But I also learned that neither of them would willingly crush me." She laughed and looked up to see Da leaning against the kitchen doorframe. Connor had taken a seat nearby to watch the action.

"Oh the pride I have for me boys today. Losing to a girl." Da laughed softly.

"Hey, I didn't lose to her!" Connor protested. Katie felt Murphy chuckling underneath her. She turned her attention back to him.

"Humm…I can't have you declare me the older twin. What should I have you say?" She looked over at Connor. "Any ideas?"

He shrugged and shook his head. Katie pursed her lips before grinning again.

"Say, Katie can take care of herself!"

"What?"

"Say, Katie can take care of herself!"

"Okay, Katie can take care of herself." He shrugged and she rolled her eyes before leaning back to let his hands free.

"You are absolutely no fun! It's not supposed to be that easy."

He just laughed and she caught him exchanging a look with Connor. "Katie can take care of herself…but we aren't about to let her do it!" He managed to maneuver out from under her before she could react and she found herself in a headlock. Murphy's arm was wrapped around her head rather than her neck, but he still reached up and rubbed his knuckles into her hair.

"Murphy!" She twisted but he held her tightly.

"Say you won't leave without us again."

"Fine!" She found herself free again and looking up into a laughing Murphy's face. Running her hands through her hair, she glared at him. She winced when she touched her neck and realized she'd broken the scab. "Fuck. My neck is bleeding again."

Murphy bit his lip and lifted her hair to look at it. "Sorry, didn't think about that."

"No don't worry about it, I didn't either. Besides, Connor's bleeding again too."

They both looked over at Connor's arm, where the bandaged was slightly redder. Even Connor looked down and seemed surprised. "Humm… I didn't even notice."

"And that's why I broke you two up to begin with."

Connor lifted his cell phone and glanced at it quickly.

"Ye better let him take care of yer neck quick. We need to leave soon."

"How soon?"

"Twenty minutes."

Katie nodded and pulled her hair up with a hair band as Murphy grabbed the first-aid kit.

"No rubbing alcohol, though."

"Katie, we forgot to cover it up this morning. Ye've had dirt getting into it all day. It needs to be cleaned out." Murphy said and she felt the sting of it before she could answer. Murphy's other hand hooked around the front of her neck to keep her still as she tried to pull away.

"Dammit, how about some fuckin' warning here."

"Thought I'd try to sneak it in." He leaned closer and she felt the warm air blowing on her neck again. It helped take away the sting somewhat.

"At least make the bandage small, please. I have to go into public."

"Into a semi-dark smoky bar. I doubt ye'll have the only bandage there."

"You won't. I'll be there." Connor spoke up from his seat. Katie felt Murphy's hands smoothing the tape around the outside before he slid his hands off her neck.

"You deserve a lollypop now."

She just gave him a mock glare. "But I won't be getting one now, will I? Give me five minutes, guys?"

They both nodded and she hurried out of the room. She had changed into a dressier looking shirt when she heard the knock on her door.

"Come in." Sitting down on her bed, she reached for her shoe before looking up. Connor peeked around the door quickly and then moved in, shutting the door behind him. She raised an eyebrow.

"Just wanted to talk to ya for a moment."

"Okay." She looked down at her shoe. _Now the yelling starts._ But Connor surprised her. Instead of yelling, he knelt down in front of her. She sat up fully and gave him a look. "What are you doing?"

He opened his hand to reveal a small switch blade. Shifting forward, he pulled a small black strip out of his back pocket. "For protection."

"What is it?"

"It's a switchblade and an ankle holster for it. Here," He began to tug on the leg of her jeans, attempting to pull the leg up. Katie slapped his hands away and pulled the pant leg up to her knee.

"Why are you giving me this now? Both you and Murph will be with me tonight."

"Aye, but who knows when ya'll feel the need to ditch us again."

Katie sighed. "Connor."

"Don't explain. This sucks. I know. That much I do understand. Now, this black strap goes around yer ankle underneath yer sock." He put it in her hands and showed her how to pull it tight. She looked pointedly down at the knife. Rolling back on his ankles, he stood up.

"Have ya used one of these before?"

She just shook her head. He walked her through how it worked quickly and made her show him a couple of times. It was only when he was satisfied that he finally let her put in into the holster in her sock.

"Remember, only pull it out when you are going to actually use it. And only use it if you absolutely need it."

Katie nodded and grabbed her purse from the foot of her bed. "Won't Murphy wonder where we are?"

"He's waiting, but he's putting the numbers in all our phones."

"Let's go then. I don't want to be late. Connor, thanks."

Connor nodded and left her room first. Katie glanced around quickly to make sure she had everything before following him.


	5. Chapter 5

Murphy glared up at the bar from his seat in the booth. Katie was talking and laughing again with the big guy on the end. Keeping his eyes on them, he took another drink of his guinness.

"What the fuck is botherin' you now?"

Murphy moved his glare to Connor who had been sitting quietly across from him.

"I don't like this. She's not the type ta be bartending."

"Yeah, she looks like she's having a real terrible time up there." Connor snorted and drained his mug. He stood up and held out his hand to Murphy. After draining his own glass, Murphy handed to his brother, not taking his eyes off of the bar.

Connor just shook his head and headed to the far end of the bar, away from the guy Katie was talking to. It only took a minute for Katie to work her way back down to him.

"Hello there, handsome. You come here often?" Her question was bubbly and she was grinning widely. Connor couldn't help but smile.

"You really are having a good time here, aren't you?"

She grabbed the two mugs and spun toward the tap to fill them. "I really am. I mean, no offence to you, Murph or Da, but I finally get to be around people again. It's great!"

Laughing, he leaned forward. "So what are we then? Wee little leprechauns?"

"Hardly. More like cute little trolls." She set the mugs up on the counter with another grin. Connor laid his hand on hers and leaned even closer. She raised an eyebrow at him. "Flirting with the bar staff doesn't guarantee free drinks, Conn."

He ignored her comment. "Is everyone behaving themselves?"

Katie tilted her head to look at him and then started smiling again. Her smile grew into a laugh and she laid her other hand on top of his. "Connor, is that what Murphy's been moody about since I clocked in?"

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Get Murphy up here. I'll deal with you two at once. That is, unless he can already read lips." She said as she looked over and saw Murphy watching them.

"Nah, that's one communication he never mastered."

After both of them waved at him, Murphy slid out of the booth and walked to the bar, glaring at the bar patrons as he passed. As he reached the bar Katie motioned for him to lean closer. Once he was close enough, she playfully slapped him on the side of the head. He jerked back.

"What the fuck was that for?"

"For being overprotective and moody. Choose one or the other, Murph. As I have no patience for the combination tonight." Katie gave him another nicer smile.

"Well, that was worth the walk up here." Murphy muttered and turned to go. Connor grabbed his arm.

"Now, she actually has something she wants ta say."

"What?"

"I just wanted to rest your overly worried, misplaced protective minds." Katie grinned and grabbed one of the mugs for a drink. She made a face when she remembered what it was but took a drink anyhow. "These guys are no more of a threat to me than you are."

"Katie, how many drunken Irishmen have ya been 'round?" Connor raised an eyebrow at her.

"It doesn't matter. I seem to have an overall cross-cultures effect on guys of all ages and sobriety. My friends dubbed it the 'little sister syndrome."

"Which means?" Connor spoke up again. Murphy simply stayed silent and waited, his eyes moving between Katie and the men to his left.

"Let's just say I've never been able to pick up a guy in a bar. Guys tend not to look at me as they do other women. I remind them too much of their little sister." She took another drink from the mug. "In fact, the only bar fight I've even had over me…was when a guy I'd just met felt the need to 'protect my honor' or some shit."

Connor and Murphy exchanged a look.

"Like he asked, how many drunken Irishmen have ya been around, Katie?" Murphy leaned toward her. He shot a quick glance down the bar. "Because in a few hours, you are going to have several to try this theory out on."

Katie just shook her head and laughed. "You Irishmen are the worst of the lot for this theory. I can't tell if it's in your blood or in your raising but I've only caught one guy looking at my chest…and he apologized immediately." She just laughed as she caught Murphy's eyes trailing downwards and Connor's off in another direction. "Okay, so now two and a successful avoidance."

Murphy finally smiled at that. "Sorry, it was automatic."

"And now two apologies. Man, you Irish guys really are the worst for this."

"I think we'll still stick around for awhile, Katie." Connor looked down at the remaining mug on the bar. "I'll take the full one." He walked back to the booth and sat down with a grin.

Murphy pointedly looked at the mug in Katie's hands with a raised eyebrow. She just grinned and filled it back up before handing it to him. He started to turn away but then looked back at her.

"There's just one thing ya're forgetting about Irishmen, Katie."

"What's that?"

"We all like a good challenge." He raised his glass to her before taking a drink and walking away. She just shook her head and watched him walk away, unsure of how to take that statement.

Connor and Murphy stuck around for another half hour before they finally drained their mugs again and said goodbye. Murphy had seemed more relaxed as they left, even winking at her as she watched them walk out the door. Katie felt a mixture of freedom and, surprisingly, a little loss. They would be back, of course, to walk her home after closing. But she realized that it was the first time they'd willing left her alone in the last few days. She wondered if it was because of the switchblade Connor'd given her. Or did Murphy even know about it? Shaking her head, she headed down to the rowdier end of the bar for some distraction.

* * *

Her hand was deep in the third to last mug to be dried when she heard them walk in. The sound of their footsteps was familiar enough that they didn't even have to say a word. She was glad that that just meant she also didn't have to turn around yet.

"Another few minutes, boys. Then I'm ready to go."

"Aye, just take yer time." Murphy's voice came from nearby and Katie could tell he was just leaning on the bar behind her. She nodded and continued to wipe the mug. After a few more wipes, she methodically switched to the next mug. What was the best way to do this?

"Hey, Connor. Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure. What do ya need?" His voice came from a little further down the bar. Katie sighed.

"Can I speak to you alone?" She finished wiping the second to last mug and started on the final one. There was a brief pause.

"Why?" Connor's voice was softer. Murphy spoke up at the same time.

"What's going on, Katie?"

"Please."

"Now, K-k-katie. Sp-sp-splitting the b-boys up won't make this any e-e-easier." Doc had moved in from the back room. Katie turned her head only slightly to see him standing a few feet away out of the corner of her eye.

"Make what any easier?" Murphy's question hung in the air and Katie took a deep breath.

"Katie." Doc said again. Nodding slightly, she took another deep breath before turning around. Both boys reacted as she figured they would. Murphy clenched his fists and swore, while Connor's only reaction was the muscle tensing in his jaw before taking a drink. They both stared at the still forming bruise that spread around her left eye.

"What the fuck happened?" Murphy slammed a fist down on the bar and Katie tensed but didn't jump. "Who did that to you?"

"It was an accident, Murph."

"Let me guess, you walked into a fucking door? Little fucking sister, my ass." He stepped away from the bar abruptly and moved to walk behind it toward her.

"I knew you were going to fucking do this, Murphy. That's why I wanted to talk to Connor first. Calm the fuck down."

"Calm down? Fuck this. I'll be outside." He turned and stormed out, allowing the heavy door to slam behind him. Katie raised her hand to rub her forehead before turning to give Connor a weak smile.

"Your turn."

He just smiled slightly back at her and motioned for her to come closer. Reaching out, he inspected the bruising and looked closer at her eye. "Accident, huh?"

"Yes. An accident."

"The 'ye should see the other guy' type of accident?"

"No. Actual accident. The guy felt terrible too."

"I'm sure." He smiled a little more as he nodded toward the door. "Go talk to me brother."

"Think it's safe?"

He nodded. "With Murph, it's always safe." He added seriously. She sighed and grabbed her coat.

"Well, that was a fun night, Doc. See ya tomorrow?"

"No, t-t-take t-tomorrow off. N-n-n-no n-need to c-come in."

"Thanks. Good night." She nodded at both Doc and Connor as she walked out the door.

Murphy leaned against the building just a few feet down from the door, cigarette in hand.

"Murph."

He glanced at her before turning his attention back to the empty street. Katie stood silently for a moment before she found herself laughing softly at the whole situation.

"This is kinda funny, actually."

"You getting hit is funny?"

"I got elbowed, Murphy. Not hit."

"Oh, now I see it. Yer right, being elbowed is so much funnier." He gave a few sarcastic laughs before taking another drag of his cigarette.

"It's just a bruise, Murphy. He was sorry about it."

"Yeah, I'm sure he fucking was."

"Fuck, Murph. You don't even understand what happened." Katie hesitated for a moment then turned sideways and lifted up her coat and shirt.

"What are ya doing?"

"Here's proof. I bruise easily. See my side. That's from roughhousing with you earlier. And you know you didn't use that much force." She looked up to see Murphy frozen, staring at the softly smudged bruises on her side, one for each of his fingers and thumb. Katie sighed and lowered her shirt. "Murph."

"Jesus. I'm sorry, Katie." He continued to stare at her now covered side for a moment before looking away from her completely. "Fuck."

She groaned and rubbed her hand over her face. "Murphy, I didn't show you that to guilt you. I knew I'd get bruises. I didn't care. A girl's skin is thinner than a guy's. It's a biological fact. And I bruise easily for a girl. So, the guy didn't even elbow me that hard to make this bruise. That's what I was trying to tell you."

He continued to look away for a moment before nodding. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Murphy. Look at me."

After a moment, he looked over at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't tell me that this means I can't pin you down anymore." She smiled, hoping he would loosen up and smile too. He took a drag, and then grinned.

"Well, you can certainly try, Katie. But I'm not guaranteeing you'll be able to. Especially now that I know you play dirty."

"Is that a dare?"

He just shook his head. "So you getting elbowed was funny then?"

"If you'd seen him afterwards, you'd have thought it was funny too. He was tripping over himself to apologize, slurring 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry' over and over again." She smiled again and nudged her toe at the cement. "He was like a fucking broken record. It actually took someone to hit him on the back of the head to make him shut up."

He shot a glance at her then. "And you enjoyed being that person, right?"

"Damn right." She grinned fully at him and felt better to see him smiling back. Dropping his cigarette, he twisted his boot over it before turning to her. In a nearly direct imitation of Connor, he reached out and lightly brushed his finger over her bruising eye.

She pulled away and rolled her eyes with a laugh. "I've already been Connor approved."

"Well, ya've got to be both Connor AND Murphy approved."

"Ah, I see. I haven't been informed of the rules then." She stepped forward again and allowed him to look closer.

"Well, now ya know. Can ya still okay see out of that eye?"

"Yes, Dr. Murph."

He continued to focus on the bruising. "Why did ya want to talk to Connor alone about this?"

"Murph."

"Why?"

"Because I knew he'd be calm about it."

"Katie-" He started to respond but she cut him off.

"Look, I know you mean well, but I was a bundle of nerves for the rest of the night, knowing I'd have to tell you, Murph. I can't stand making ya blow up over something this small. And I wasn't concerned about telling Connor so much."

He laughed softly as he brushed a few stray hairs back away from her face. "And you think Connor is any better?"

"Well yeah, you're the one who blew the head gasket."

"And you think he's not in there right now grilling Doc over what happened?"

"What?" She moved toward the door but Murphy caught her arm. She noticed that his hands were gently hooking her arm instead of actually gripping it, which meant the only pressure on her arm was if she pulled. _Oh well, he'll get over it._

"Don't. I'm sure he's almost done by now."

"Dammit. That sneaky bastard. Acted all calm and reasonable."

Murphy just laughed at that. She smiled and leaned up against the wall next to him. "Well, at least you're both on my side. I wouldn't want to know what you'd be like if you were against me."

"Aye, I don't think we'd be bothered nearly as much if we didn't like ya."

"But you'd still be bothered?"

"Katie, seeing bruises on any woman always rises the temper of an Irishman. Even if only just a little."

"You need something else to occupy your time then. Women don't always need your protection there, Murph."

"That may be true, but they still always have it."

Katie just rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. The door to the bar opened with a creak and a smiling Connor stepped out.

"Take care, Doc."

It took Connor a moment to realize she was glaring at him with a raised eyebrow. He wrinkled his forehead and shot a glance at Murphy, who shrugged. "What?"

"Sneaky bastard."

Murphy started laughed, making Katie smile despite her best efforts. Connor just cocked his head at her, confused.

"Excuse me?"

"How did your grilling of Doc go?"

He looked at Murphy accusingly. Murphy just raised his hand in surrender.

"Well, Katie. Yer not exactly known for givin' all the needed information right up front." He started walking, so the other two walked faster to catch up to him.

"Wow, you've known me for what…not even a week? And you're already categorizing me, huh?"

"Katie." He just glanced at her.

"Seriously. When did I not give you all of the information?"

"Ye only give us the information that you deem important. For Christ's sake, we don't even know yer full name."

"Connor…" Murphy started in a warning tone but Katie cut him off with a glance.

"Kathleen Sofia Shafer. I'm twenty-five years old. My birthday is November 5th, which just happens to be three days before my younger brother Peter's birthday. He's twenty-four. What else do you want to know?"

"Katie."

"No, Connor. You started this. What else do you want to know?"

He stopped to look at her, leaning down to get closer. "I want to fuckin' know anything that could endanger your life. Or anything that might endanger ours. I want to know information that can prevent anything else from happening like last night."

She paused. "So that's what this is about. You're fucking pissed because I didn't tell you anything about me until last night?"

"It could have been helpful."

"I only knew you for three days as of yesterday. Three fucking days. Sorry if I'm not willing to trust that easily. I'd have been dead three times by now if I trusted a man that quickly. Fuck you, Connor." She turned away and started walking again.

"Just fuckin' wait a minute, Katie." Murphy's voice burst out this time, causing her to turn quickly.

"What?"

"Both of ya listen. First off, Connor. Give her a fuckin' break. She's right. She had no reason to trust us before last night. Fuck, we still haven't given her a concrete reason to trust us."

"Murph." Katie started but was cut off with a wave of his hand as she turned down him.

"Katie, he's also right. Ye need to tell us everything. If ye don't trust us yet, than tell us what we need to do. Because we're trustin' you. I don't need to know what's in yer diary, but we do need to be kept up on anything else that might be important. Like with this situation tonight. If there is something else beyond it being an accident with a drunken bar patron, than we need to know. Ya'll just have learn how to fuckin' trust someone outside of yerself." He glared at the both of before waving his arms in the air in frustration. "Now was that so fuckin' hard?"

Both Katie and Connor stared at him before glancing at each other. Only then did she laugh.

"Did you two switch bodies recently?"

"What?" Murphy said harshly, still wrapped up in his temper. She fought a grin as she looked at him.

"Well, Connor's having emotional outbursts," she said to Murphy before turning to Connor. "And Murphy's giving rational arguments."

"And there to ye go categorizing us again." Connor raised an eyebrow before throwing an arm over each of their shoulders and steering them toward the apartment. "Murphy's rational once in a while."

* * *

"God, I need a drink." Katie as she collapsed on the couch with a laugh.

"Ye just got done working at a bar all night." Da raised an eyebrow at her from his chair near the door.

"Yeah, but besides that half a mug I stole from you, Murph, Doc wouldn't let me drink anything. Despite the fact that I did have two guys offer to buy me a drink."

"Ha, like Doc doesn't drink himself while on the job." Connor snorted.

"Well, I'm learning he's got a bit of a double standard. Must be because he's Irish." She emphasized with a meaningful look at both Connor and Murphy. They both just laughed.

"Well, I think we might just have some alcohol in the apartment." Da said with a grin.

"Know any drinking games?"

"Humm…we could watch a movie and pick the 'magic' word."

"Or, we could just take a shot every time Murph says any derivative of the 'F' word." Katie suggested. Connor shook his head.

"Not unless you want to get drunk."

"And I could guarantee you would." Murphy grinned.

"Humm..okay then. We'll play the question game."

"Which is?"

"We ask questions to each person and they either have the choice of answering it or taking a shot."

The two brothers exchanged a glance before nodding together. "Let's take it into the kitchen to leave Da alone." Connor added.

Within a few minutes, they were seated at the kitchen table with two bottles of whiskey, one bottle of rum and one bottle of vodka. Katie took once glance at the selection and grabbed a cola from the fridge. She turned to find Murphy raising an eyebrow at her.

"What? I need a chaser." She sat down and gestured to the bottles. "How many questions you two planning on avoiding?"

"That's all for you." Connor answered and leaned away from her swatting hand. "Okay, me first." He looked back and forth between Katie and Murphy, as if trying to decide who to choose.

"Give it up, Connor. You already know everything about Murphy."

"Yeah, but asking him questions can let me embarrass him. It's so tempting."

"Conn."

"Okay, Katie." He lit a cigarette and pointed it at her. "Favorite color?"

She shook her head and sighed. "Ouch, dare I answer that? Green."

"Just starting off easy."

She narrowed her eyes at the two and watched as they both took a drag of their cigarettes at the same time. "Okay, Murph. Biggest childish fear?"

"Stinging insects. Katie, biggest childish fear?"

"Pitch black dark. You are so creative, Murph."

He made a face at her. "It seemed like a good question."

"Okay," Connor turned with a grin to Murphy. "Did you or did you not kiss Jenny O'Reilly at our 9th year spring dance?"

Katie laughed as the two brothers stared at each other for a moment. Then, Murphy slowly poured whiskey and took the shot. Connor grinned with victory.

"I had to start the actual drinking of the drinking game somehow. He's never answered the question yet."

"Jenny O'Reilly, huh?"

"Katie, don't get him started." Murphy muttered as he tried to suppress a grin. He leaned over then and whispered something in her ear. Katie covered her mouth as she started laughing.

"Connor. Did you or did you not ditch Fiona Flanagan at the Christmas festival when you were 13?"

Connor shot a glance at Murphy before finally giving into a grin. "That is so cheating. But I'll own up to it. Yes I did ditch her. I was a terrible bastard for it too." He pointed his cigarette at Katie as if to make a point. "And she made me regret it every year after that until we left for the states."

"Wuss." Murphy said softly.

"Fine, I do you one better, Murph. I answered your question, and I'll take a shot."

"Okay, then. Back to Katie. Just what racy job did you do to get in with the New York mob?" Murphy said and just laughed as she glared at him.

"I didn't really do racy jobs. I hate to disappoint you, but I mostly ran numbers and kept the accounts balanced."

"Ahh…a brainy girl. Okay, Katie. Two part question. Did you do any racy jobs at all? And if you did, what was one?" Connor asked and watched as she turned slightly red.

She fought a grin but finally gave into laughing. "You are such guys." Picking up the bottle of vodka, she poured a shot and took it. She made a face and both guys laughed harder.

"I think we'll have to wait until she's drunker and then ask again." Murphy stage whispered. Connor just nodded with a laughed.

"Okay, Connor. Why did you two come to the states anyhow?"

He shrugged. "To make more money. And we knew Da was here but didn't know where."

"Okay, my turn. Katie, did you go to college?" Murph asked and Katie was surprised to see that he was actually waiting with interest for her answer.

"Yes, and I have a B.S. in Psychology."

"We've got ourselves a brainy lass, indeed." Connor grinned. "Okay, what did Ma tell ya on the phone today?"

"Wait, she talked to Ma?" Murph seemed surprised.

"Yeah, I talked to your ma. She told me you were two good boys and to keep an eye on you for her."

Connor narrowed his eyes at her. "She didn't say anything else?"

"Not that I can think of, why?"

He shrugged. "She just made it seem like you'd had a nice little chat."

"We did. It just wasn't very long."

"Wow, ye talked to Ma and survived. She used to scare all the girls who came to our house. On purpose." Murphy laughed. Katie shrugged.

"She took pity on me as one of your innocents. Okay, my turn." Katie looked at the both of them. "How many times have the two of you been shot?"

Connor and Murphy exchanged a glance before looking back at her. "Who is that directed towards?"

"Ummm…Murph. Since you avoided the question already once."

"I didn't avoid it. I got interrupted." He took a drag of his cigarette before letting it dangle lighting between two fingers. "Connor's been shot, what…twice in the same arm and once in the leg. I've only been shot twice total. Once in the arm and once in the side."

Katie pursed her lips before taking a drink of her cola. "We need to get you two some armor or something."

"Actually, we've been pretty lucky considering how many times we've been shot at."

"I know. That's what concerns me." She gave a short laugh.

"Okay, Murphy. What did you whisper to Katie before she collapsed at the warehouse?"

Katie looked at Murphy surprised. He gave Connor a hard look before shrugging. "I don't really remember."

"Liar." Connor scuffed. Murphy glared at him again.

"I don't. I said a lot of stuff that night I can't remember."

"Than take a shot."

"But he answered the question." Katie said, confused. Murphy held Connor's gaze for a second before pouring a shot and taking it. The room seemed tense until they broke each other's gaze.

"Okay then. My turn. Connor, why does Murph call you Charlie Bronson?"

Connor grinned at her. "Because we used to watch those movies when we were younger. He's an older action star."

"That and Connor likes to use rope like him."

"Rope?"

"Nevermind." Connor leaned back with a laugh.

"No, I think I want to know. Otherwise, it's kind of disturbing."

"Katie!" Murphy started laughing as he followed her train of thought. "No, he seems to think there's always a use for rope. Nothing kinky about it."

She choked the cola she was swallowing and burst out laughing as soon as she could breathe again. "So, like some guys and duct tape."

"Basically, yeah."

Connor shook his head, slightly amused. "Okay, so who's turn is it?"

"Murphy's."

He brought his thumb to his mouth and chewed on it, looking back and forth between Connor and Katie. Finally Connor sighed and sat up. "Are ya going to choose?"

"Okay. Katie, who's cuter? Connor or me?"

She started laughed and shook her head at that. "I can't believe you asked me that."

"Answer or take a shot."

"Ah, the age old question. Same old competition. Don't worry Katie, he does this to a lot of girls. And last time I checked, we were about even on the responses." Connor leaned his elbows on the table and smiled, obviously waiting for an answer.

She finally just shrugged. "You both are."

"Nope, ya gotta choose one."

After looking back and forth between the two of them, she pretended to think deeply about it. Then after a few minutes, she quickly poured a shot of rum and took it as they laughed.

"Okay, Katie." Connor spun his shot glass on the table. "Your name is Irish, Italian and German. So what are ye?"

Katie smiled at that. "Great job. Most people don't get all of them. I'm half Irish, half German."

"So where does the Italian come in?"

"I'm black Irish. My mom researched heavily and found that there is that linkage to a Sicilian sailor like many 'black Irish' families have. That's also how I could pretend to be Italian for the mob. Now my turn. Connor, do you really not know who the older twin is?"

"That fascinates you, doesn't it?" He laughed. She raised an eyebrow and eyed the shot glass.

"Answer or drink."

"We really do not know. But if ye every find out through yer chats with our Ma, than feel free to enlighten us."

Murphy's jaw dropped a little. "Great idea! We could send her in as a mole!"

She just laughed. "Murphy. I barely know your Ma. I doubt she'll tell me if she won't tell you."

"I wouldn't be so sure. She just loves torturing us. Just wait until we get our annual call for St. Patty's." He answered and Connor shrugged. Murphy narrowed his eyes at Katie. "Okay, Katie. My turn. Are ya going ta trust us and keep us in the loop from now on?"

She stared at him for a moment, a blank expression on her face. Then she reached over and poured a shot. She took it and maintained the straight face for another moment before she finally grinned. Neither Connor or Murphy looked too pleased.

"Sorry, I had to make you nervous. Of course I trust you. I tried to tell you that earlier but you cut me off. I just didn't realize how much I trusted you until last night. As I will try to keep you in the loop."

"Try to?"

"Yeah. I've been living in my head for the most part for the last year, not really able to share any real information with anyone else. So it'll take some getting used to."

Both guys were still silent as she looked back and forth between then again. "Guys, I was joking when I took the shot."

Connor shifted in his seat. "Okay, my turn. Katie, when did you realize you had a bad sense of humor?"

She pursed her lips for a second before laughing and pouring another shot. After saluting Connor with it, she downed the shot and quickly chased it with a drink of cola. She blinked hard before laughing and putting her hand to her forehead. "Okay, I gotta start answering questions now."

Murphy reached over and put a hand on her shoulder. "Maybe we should just go to bed. It is near three."

"How the hell do you know what time is it?" Katie looked up at him, frustrated.

Connor laughed. "He's got some sort of an internal clock. Take him three time zones away and he still automatically knows the time without really looking."

"And you don't?"

"Nope, but I've got an internal compass. Murph can tell ya what time it is, but he can't tell ya where the fuck he is half the time."

"Humm…I'll have to figure out what I have. Maybe I'm the bionic woman."

Connor leaned closer to her and peered into her face. "You're not actually drunk, are ye?"

She just laughed. "No, just really tired. I am going to go to bed." She got up and grabbed the table for balance. Both twins raised an eyebrow at her. "I swear. Just tired. I'm much worse than this when I'm drunk."

"Good night, Katie."

"'Night boys."

* * *

She was still awake when he shadowed her doorway nearly an hour later. He was silent for a moment.

"Ya 'wake?" His voice was quiet and thickly Irish in the dark.

"Yeah."

"Why don't ya sleep in here with us again?"

"Murphy, I'll be fine."

"Come on. Ya can have me bed."

"Do you really want to sleep on the floor again?"

"No, but I want to be able to fuckin' sleep."

"That doesn't make sense."

"Well, by now it should. Ya know those words are still there. Even if ya did cover them up with a coat o' paint."

"Two coats."

"Whatever. They're still fucking there. Ya didn't erase their fucking existence."

"Murph," her voice was frustrated. She heard a sigh.

"Fine, do whatever the fuck ya please."

His steps clomped down the hall followed soon by Connor's slightly drunker stumbles. She could only figure that they'd continued drinking after she'd gone to bed. Katie sighed and buried her head into her pillow again.

She had an hour of peaceful sleep before the nightmares began. _She'd found her parents all over again, only this time the guns were still there and were pointed at her. Then she was in the alley again but she could still hear her mother's screams. The knife pressed into her throat, not stopping this time but making a full circle around her neck. _

Her hand was on her bandage when she woke up and found herself sitting up and backed up against the wall. She brought the other hand up to her throat and felt her pulse racing. It seemed so fucking real. The sobs rose without warning and she covered her face with her hands. She was tired. She wanted some freaking sleep. But she knew the dreams were there, just waiting for her to close her eyes again.

"Fuck this," she whispered and only hesitated slightly before sliding off the bed. The wood floor of the hallway was cold under her feet as she tiptoed down to the brothers' room. Slight snoring could be heard outside of the door, covering up any sound she made as she opened it. The two were curled up in nearly mirroring positions: head high up on their pillow, one arm curled under it and the other across their chest. Katie wished briefly for a camera. Why was it they looked so damn innocent when they slept?

Sighing, she moved towards Murphy's bed, knowing he would be the least confused if she crawled in it with him. The floor was cold and she'd left the blankets back in her room, so that wasn't a good option. Lifting the covers, she moved in slowly trying to make the least amount of movement possible. She didn't want to wake him up if she could help it. His arm came around her instantly and Katie froze until she realized he was still asleep. He was warm behind her, forcing her to fight the urge to cuddle further into him. They weren't spooning. She was just trying to get some sleep.

She closed her eyes and could still see the guns in her dreams still waiting for her. The tears came instantly this time. Sleeping in their room was supposed to make her able to sleep. She knew her silent sobs had woken Murphy up when she felt his arm tighten around her. He sat up slightly to look down at her.

"Hey, what's this all about?"

Katie just shook her head and put her hands over her face.

He shushed her softly and lay back down to hold her closer. "Ya're okay."

It was another minute or so before she could speak again. "I had a nightmare."

He reached up and brushed her hair back from her face, and then rested his chin on her shoulder. "It's okay. Ya're safe. We won't let anything happen to ya."

She laughed softly. "Do you always speak as a set?"

"What?"

"You said we."

"Oh, well. I think Connor would agree to that to."

She smiled again but fell silent. Even with Murphy so close behind her she could still feel the pressure on her throat from the dream. She couldn't stop the shiver that went through her. She could feel Murphy look down at her again.

"Are ya cold?"

She just shook her head. He sighed quietly.

"Turn ta face me."

She shook her head again.

"Why not?"

"I don't want you to see me." Her voice was shaky.

"It's too dark ta see ya. Come on, ya'll feel better facing me."

After a short pause she shifted quickly onto other side. His hands framed her face as he wiped off the remaining tears. Raising her eyes, she realized she could still see him despite the dark.

"Liar."

He just smiled slightly and guided her head to his shoulder. His other arm went around her and made gentle strokes up and down her back.

She was enjoyed the feeling for a moment before looking up at him again. "I was followed today."

"Humm?"

"I was followed. When I went to get the paint. Someone followed me."

"Yeah, I know."

"What?"

She felt him laugh softly.

"I know. It was Connor. I told ya we wouldn't let anything happen to ya."

"Oh."

"Now go to sleep."

"I don't know if I can. I keep seeing the guns." The tears were back in her voice and he kissed the top of her head in response.

"Close your eyes and imagine something different. I won't let anything happen to ya."

She noticed 'I' but didn't say anything. She didn't know what to imagine. The good memories involved Brett and their family but he was gone and they were no longer a family. So instead, she concentrated on being in his arms. On his smell, which was currently a mixture of rum, slightly cigarettes and Murphy. It was a nice smell. One she could grow used to.

Murphy noticed her breathing change slowly and continued rubbing her back until he was sure she was asleep. She mentioned guns in her nightmare. He wondered whose guns they were. He stopped his hands and relaxed fully beside her, feeling her adjust to his movement in her sleep. He kissed the top of her head again before closing his head. She was here with them now. Now he could actually get some real sleep.

* * *

The sun had brightened the room by the time that Katie finally woke up. The bed had lost some of its warmth and she realized then that Murphy wasn't in it with her anymore. Opening her eyes, she looked around. Connor was still curled up, facing the other way this time. As she rubbed her hands over her face she remembered Murphy's laughter when she told him she was being followed. She'd been slightly annoyed when he'd told her it was Connor. Now she was pissed. Slipping off her socks, she folded them into a ball and winged it at the back of Connor's head. He shifted abruptly before sighing heavily.

"Dammit, Murphy." He sat up and faced her with a glare but stopped short when he realized it hadn't been his brother. "Oh, Katie." He paused. "What the fuck was that for?"

"For following me."

"Jesus woman, for what?"

"For following me yesterday."

"Well yeah, ya left here all alone. What else would ye have wanted?"

"To be allowed to go on my own."

"You were on yer own. I didn't try to stop ya from doing anything."

"No, just followed me."

"What the fuck else did ya think would happen? Ya left here on your own without saying more than fuckin' two words ta me about it."

"Wow, I see the massive amount of trust you two have in me."

"Or maybe it's the great fuckin' fear we have for ya." Murphy's voice was harsh from the doorway. She turned to glare at him. "Or did that never occur to ya? Go fucking alone next time. See if I give a fuck."

He turned and she could hear his loud footsteps stomp down the hall. Looking back at Connor, she sighed. He just watched her with a look she couldn't read.

"Dammit!" she muttered and flopped back down onto the bed. "Fuck, how do I always end up doing that with him?"

"He doesn't want to see ya hurt because of us. Neither do I."

"Who says it's because of you? I'm not exactly friends with the mob either."

"No, but they left those messages for us."

"After they followed me here. Did you think that maybe they know I'm with 'The Saints'? That they can kill two birds with one stone? I bet they don't even know what you actually look like, outside of those stupid courtroom drawings."

"How did they fucking know about Rocco then?"

"They know Papa Joe killed him. They know you were with him. Make the fuckin' connections, Connor. That's why I'm pissed that you followed me. You two shouldn't be anywhere near me, come to think of it."

She got to her feet and grabbed her socks from near Connor's knee. He grabbed her arm, forcing her to make eye contact with him.

"Don't just take off because ye think it will protect us."

She narrowed her eyes at them. The thought had only just occurred to her, how the hell did he know?

"What makes you think I'll do that?"

"Because it's what I'd do. But stay. You leaving will only make things worse at this point."

"How can it make things worse?"

He sighed scrubbed a hand across his eyes before giving her a small smile.

"Because Murph wouldn't stop looking for ya. And-"

"Yeah, yeah. Neither would you."

"Actually, I was going to say that I wouldn't be able to stop him. But yeah, I'd probably look a little too."

She laughed at that and then quickly sobered as she glanced toward the door.

"I really did fuck up with that, didn't I?"

"Don't worry. He'll be over it in another five minutes."

"Why aren't you mad? You're the one who I yelled at. And threw dirty socks at."

"We balance each other out. He's all bark."

"Than what the hell are you?"

"Me…I'm all bite." He flashed a grin at her and laughed as she dropped her jaw slightly. She knew it was true though. Connor would be the last person she ever wanted after her.

"On that note…" She shook her head, laughing.

"Yeah, yeah. Go talk to me brother."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Kind of a transitionary chapter...and to think, this was actually going to be quite a short chapter when I started. Stupid characters and their constant need to pick fights. :) I hope to be up with more (and much better) stuff early next week! **

Easing down the hall in her bare feet, Katie looked around the corner to try to locate Murphy. The living room was empty but she could hear the coffee maker going. She found him at the kitchen table with his back to her, inhaling a cup of coffee and reading the morning paper. The bottle of Tylenol on the table next to him told her he wasn't completely without a hangover.

She moved into the kitchen wordlessly and noticed that the four bottles of alcohol had simply been moved to the counter, instead of being put away. With a small sigh, she put each back in the cupboard and grabbed her own coffee mug. After filling it with coffee, she turned to the table to find that Murphy was still engrossed in his paper. Or at least he was pretending to be.

"Murph, I'm sorry."

"Humm?" He kept his eyes on the paper.

Katie set her mug down on the table too hard and hot coffee splashed onto her hand. She winced. "Fuck. I said I'm sorry." She waved her hand in the air to cool the burning coffee down.

"Ye don't have to burn yourrself to make a point." He smiled but still kept his eyes down on the newspaper.

"Murphy!"

"What? Okay, so ye're sorry. I get it."

"Didn't we already have this fight once?"

He looked up finally and leaned back in his chair. His eyes landed on hers and held her gaze. "Yeah, I thought we did too."

She took another drink of her coffee and stared down at her hand. He wasn't budging an inch on this. "Well fuck, Murph. Why does everything have to be so secretive with you two?"

"What do ye mean?"

"I was followed yesterday. Since it was Connor, it shouldn't be a big deal. Except the fact that it fuckin' scared me. For no reason. Because I didn't know it was him until over twelve hours later. That's why I was yelling at him."

"Katie, don't take off and we won't have to follow ye." He leaned over and grabbed the pack of cigarettes, tapping one out into his left hand. "It's really quite fuckin' simple. Problem solved." He returned his attention to the newspaper, signifying the end of the conversation.

Forcing herself to take a deep breath, she set her cup down slowly and got to her feet. They were both quiet as she poured herself a bowl of cereal. She leaned against the counter, waiting for some further response from him, but nothing came.

"Fine, Murph. Whatever." She walked out to the living room. Turning on the television, she put her legs up and set the bowl on her lap. Murphy listened her go but just sighed, shook his head and went back to reading his paper.

By the time Katie was done with her cereal, Connor had shuffled down the hallway, looking only half awake. He half nodded at her before going straight to the coffee machine and getting himself a cup. He sat across from Murphy and grabbed one section of the paper. He was partway through his coffee before he finally looked up at his brother.

"I think Katie's got a point."

"Huh?" Murphy asked, his eyes still on the paper.

"Put the damn paper down for a sec. I said that Katie's got a point."

"Got a point?" Murphy finally set the paper down and reached for his coffee cup again. He took a drink and frowned at Connor. "What point?"

"About all the shit that's been happening."

"What are you fuckin' talking about?"

Connor reached for a cigarette with a frown. "Katie, did you tell Murph what ye told me?"

"Nope. Problem fucking solved, I guess." Her voice calmly echoed in from the living room. Connor narrowed his eyes. Murphy looked at him innocently.

"Katie, come in here, please."

"Conn, I'm comfortable. If you two want to chat, come out here."

Shrugging, Connor got to his feet. He looked over at Murphy who just raised an eyebrow.

"Get up, Murph. We're moving this conversation to the living room."

"What fuckin' conversation? I'm reading the paper." He pointedly picked it back up and started reading.

"Were you this difficult when you talked to her?"

"How is it difficult to want to read the paper?"

"Put the fucking paper down and get out here to talk."

"Fuck off, Connor. I'm not in the mood to talk."

"Gee, and you hide it so fuckin' well. There are more important things here than your fuckin' moods." Connor turned and left the kitchen. Murphy focused back on the paper but found he couldn't concentrate. Soft voices from the other room kept working their way into his brain.

Laying the paper down, he leaned back slightly and listened.

"I don't know for sure." Katie's voice was soft and slightly muffled. There was a pause. Then he heard Connor speak up again.

"Did you do any sort of job where you could have learned any dangerous information?"

"Dangerous?"

"Yeah, as in important than and life-threatening now."

Murphy sighed and got to his feet. He stood in the doorway and leaned his head against the door jam.

"So what is Katie's point?" He directed his question to Connor who sat in Da's chair across the room. Katie had moved down to lean against the arm rest nearest him. They both looked up at him.

"Don't worry about it, Murph." Katie sighed and looked back at Connor. "You were saying?"

"You got me out here. Now what's the fuckin' point?" Murphy moved away from the door way and walked to the other edge of the couch. Katie turned and glared at him.

"There is no fucking point, Murph. Remember? Such a simplistic answer. Problem fucking solved." She got up and walked down the hallway without another word. Connor shot an annoyed glance at Murphy.

"Yer being a real asshole, Murph."

"Ye don't fuckin' even know what we talked about."

"What did ye talk about?" Connor raised his eyebrows and leaned back. Murphy put his feet up on the coffee table.

"She was pissed because you following her scared her. So I told her not to leave without us again and it won't be a problem."

"That's why she said she was pissed?" Lighting another cigarette, Connor leaned slightly forward.

"Yeah, what did she tell you?"

"What she would have told you if ye hadn't ended the conversation like that."

"Am I gonna have to beat it out of ya?" Murphy glared at him. Connor was silent for a moment before pointing his cigarette at him.

"Are ya gonna fuckin' listen to me?"

"Aye, if ye actually start talking about something."

"She thinks they followed her here. And that's when they left the messages and trashed the place."

"And fuckin' jumped her in the alley."

"Yes, although the attack might have been mostly to give them more time to do it."

"Why wouldn't they have done it all before they got here?"

"Because they fuckin' followed her, Murph. That's one of her points. Direct or indirect, this was about her."

"All the more fuckin' reason for her to stick with us."

"Look beyond the immediate, ya idiot. We need to figure out why they are doing it and who they are after."

"They are after _her_." Murph pointed his finger down the hallway.

"But are they?" Connor leaned back again, happy to have gotten to the main issue. Murphy frowned at him.

"What?"

"They left two messages that would have only meant something to us, but wouldn't have known where we lived if it wasn't for her."

"Okay." Murphy brought his thumb to his mouth and started chewing on the skin around his thumbnail. He looked at Connor again. "Are they using her to get to us? Or are they just trying to kill two birds with one stone?"

"And that first possibility is why she's pissed."

"What? Oh, fuck."

Connor nodded. "Exactly. She's really pissed because she's afraid someone may have seen me following her."

"Why the fuck does that matter?"

"Think about it, Murph. The only pictures they have of us are those courtroom drawings. Smecker's managed to take care of anything else."

"Okay." Murphy frowned again. "So, through her, they might actually figure out what we look like."

"Exactly."

"Again, why the fuck does that matter?"

"Do ya want life to go back to how it was in those month's after the trail? We can finally go out into public now safely. No one remembers what we look like anymore. Our faces are not in the fuckin' immediate memories of the public."

"But why does it matter that the Mob figures out what we look like?"

"They can use it one of two ways. They find a way to make sure the police can find us. Smecker's not going to be able to get us out of anything that big in this town."

"We can deal with that. We've been skirting the police for nearly a year now."

"Aye, but I don't want to deal with the second option."

"Which is?" Murphy asked. Connor looked at him and saw that he already knew. He still said it anyway.

"Which is another Papa Joe style ambush."

"Fuck."

"Yeah, fuck."

"So, wait, she said all of that?" Murphy glanced down the hall where she had disappeared. They heard the shower go on.

"No, not all of it. She may have been dealing with the New York Mob for over a year, but I still don't think she quite realizes just how much of a threat they can be."

"For both her and us."

Connor nodded. Murphy ran a hand through his hair with a sigh.

"Guess I fucked that up with her."

"Aye, ye did. Try listening for a change."

"Yeah, yeah. So what should we do, Charlie?"

Grinning, Connor looked up at him. "I don't think we have much use for rope here."

"Wow, I'm fuckin' speechless."

"That'd be a miracle. But honestly, we need to talk to Da, we need to talk to Smecker and we need to sit down with Katie and actually talk to her."

"Gee, sounds like a fuckin' fun filled day. Da said he'd be back before lunch. I guess Smecker left a message for him last night." Murphy put out his cigarette.

"About an apartment? Or a job?"

"Don't know. He didn't say."

"Well, we need to fill Da in on all of this as soon as he gets here."

"And we need to see what Smecker thinks about the possibilities here."

"Yeah," Connor nodded. "He'll want to talk ta her too."

"That should be fun. Introducing Smecker to Katie." Murphy looked down the hallway again before getting to his feet. "I'm gonna go talk to her."

Connor raised an eyebrow at him. "Right now?"

"Yeah."

"Murph, she's in the fuckin' shower."

He just grinned. "I know. Captive audience. If I'm gonna fuckin' apologize, I'm gonna do it where I don't have to chase her to get the words out."

"I'm not defending you if she goes after ye for it."

"Some fuckin' brother you are." Murphy just smiled and walked down the hall. The shower was still running. He raised his hand to knock. This could be entertaining.

* * *

She thought she'd heard a knock on the door, but she didn't realize it was real until the cold air hit her as the door opened. Katie looked around the shower curtain to find Murphy peering at her through the steam. 

"Can I come in?"

"Fuck, Murph. You're already in. Why bother asking?" She ducked back behind the shower curtain and tried to ignore the fact that she was naked and only a few feet away from him.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to ya."

Katie sighed. "Whatever."

"No, really. I am sorry. Connor made me see that this is more complicated than I was making it."

She stayed silent, unsure of what exactly to say. Hearing him sigh, she couldn't help but smile. "Okay, apology accepted."

"We're gonna have ye talk to Smecker about this. Maybe he can see something we're missing."

"Wow, I finally get to meet the infamous Smecker."

She heard the smile in Murphy's response. "Yeah, that should be interesting."

"Fuck!" Katie winced as she got soap in her eye.

"Are ye okay in there?" She heard his concerned chuckle.

"Yes, fuck! I just got soap in my eye. Dammit, that hurts."

She heard more laughter. "Need help?"

"Murphy!"

"Sorry, just wanted to make sure. When ye get out, come down and we'll have an actual conversation. Since I interrupted you and Connor's attempt, too."

"Wow, I'm trembling with excitement." Katie offered but couldn't help but laugh. "Hey, Murph. Remember that question you asked last night that I wouldn't answer?"

He was silent for a moment. "The racy job one or the cuter twin one?"

"The cuter twin one. I've got an answer for you."

"Shoot." His voice was wary.

"Well….I've decided…Connor's cuter because he's nice to me!"

Katie listened for an answer but only heard a soft chuckle. The blast of hot water hit her only half a second after she heard the toilet flush.

"Murphy! You are fucking dead!" She screamed as she dodged the scalding water. His laughter echoed down the hallway as he left the bathroom.

* * *

Murphy was still laughing when he plopped down on the couch. He looked over to see that Connor was giving him a hard look. 

"What did ye fuckin' do to her this time?"

"Nothing." He grinned. Connor narrowed his eyes.

"Then why did she scream?"

"Oh, well, she decided who was the cuter twin."

"Murph!" Connor started but didn't finish his sentence before Katie ran into the room, jumped on the couch and managed to pin Murphy to the cushions before he even realized she was coming. They both stared at her, surprised that she'd been able to get there fully dressed in that short amount of time. She started hitting Murphy but he just kept laughing.

"You are so fucking dead. Seriously." She sat back slightly and moved her glare to Connor. "Do you know what he fucking did? He flushed the toilet. I got fucking scaled!" She reached down and slapped Murphy's arm. He grabbed her wrists to stop her. She noticed he was still only cupping her arms, instead of grabbing them.

"I'm telling ya, Murph. I'm not protecting ye." Connor grinned. He got to his feet and moved the coffee table out of the way as a precaution. Katie raised an eyebrow.

"Are you encouraging this?"

"No, I just know what's coming next." Connor had barely gotten the words out when Katie felt Murphy move quickly. He'd managed to twist his body and roll them off the couch. His hand covered the back of her head as they hit the floor. Katie found herself pinned and looking up at a triumphant Murphy.

"What the fuck was that?" She managed to gasp. He pinned her arms with ease.

"Say it!"

"Say what? What's the fucking code this time?" Katie tried to sound pissed but couldn't help but laugh. He'd definitely surprised her with that move.

"Say…Murphy's the cuter twin."

Connor started laughing. "So ye did declare me cuter, huh?"

"Yes, that's why he fucking flushed the toilet. I decided to judge by personality too."

Murphy leaned closer. "Say it!"

She just smiled and kept her mouth shut. The sound of a key in the lock made him look up and she used the distraction to knock his elbows out again. She managed to flip him and rolled on top of him with a laugh.

Da walked in the door and nodded to them all. "Morning." He continued on past them into the kitchen. All three of them looked surprised at his failure to notice that his son was pinned on the living room floor. Katie started laughing and felt Murphy join in. She looked down at him again.

"Humm…what should I make you say?"

He just shrugged with a grin. She noticed then that he wasn't even trying to get away. "Murph, this is no fun if you won't even try."

"Too bad. I'm not having a repeat of yesterday."

"Repeat of yesterday?" Connor raised his eyebrow at her.

"What? Murphy didn't tell you?" She rolled her eyes. Connor moved his questioning look to Murphy who just raised his eyebrows.

"Turns out that the bruise on her eye isn't the only bruise she got yesterday."

"Okay." Connor said slowly, still not quite understanding.

"Murphy was freaking out because I got a few bruises from this yesterday. I never would have even mentioned it if I thought it was going to be this big of a fucking deal." She let go of his arms and leaned back. He took the opportunity to slip his arms around her waist and flip her that way. Katie just laughed when she realized what he'd done.

"Sneaky bastard."

Murphy shook his head. He nodded at Connor. "That's the sneaky bastard. I'm the fucking asshole." He stood up then and held his hand out to help her up.

"I'll be sure to keep that straight." She laughed as she stood up and ran a hand to smooth her tangled wet hair. Connor met her eye and shook his head.

"Katie, did you even finish yer shower?"

Nodding, she grinned. "Murph picked a good time to torture me. Or well, bad time, depending on how you look at it. I was done showering."

Connor just shook his head and followed Murphy into the kitchen with a grin. Katie paused at the door and saw all three men were sitting around the table. Da had pulled out a cigar and both twins were in the midst of lighting their cigarettes. She stayed where she was, unsure if this was a family meeting or not. The McManuses never seemed to need to discuss anything like that. Somehow, they just knew.

Da looked around the table slowly. "I got a call from Smecker last night. Wanted ta meet me this morning."

"Aye, Murphy told me that. What about?"

"First, a possible apartment. He'll know later today. He loaned us a car in the meantime that we can to move our stuff without drawing nearly as much attention to ourselves. Also, he has a job for us."

"What are the specifics?" Murphy tapped his cigarette against the ashtray.

"Well…" Da paused and moved his eyes to Katie. She tilted her head and saw all three men look toward her. "Lass, why don't ye go back to yer room for a while."

Katie stared at him for a second before moving to look at both Murphy and Connor in turn. They both looked at her waiting, neither of them jumping up and wanting her to stay. Finally, she nodded slowly and walked down the hallway to her bedroom. Once inside, she sat on her bed and stared around the room.

When she'd finally gotten accepted into the outer rankings of the New York Mob, it became common for her to need to leave the room like this. Back in New York, she could only figure it was for their own protection. If she didn't hear anything, she couldn't testify against them someday. She wondered now if this was for the protection of the Saints or to simply protect her.

* * *

"Simple job, boys. Three Mafioso who went rouge several weeks ago." 

"Why haven't they been targeted by their own?"

"The boss seems to still feel they are under his control. But they're dangerous, possibly a citywide threat."

"So, when do we do it?"

"This afternoon. They meet every few days at two in this old apartment building. The place is deserted now."

"Okay, what about Katie?"

"What about her?" Da raised an eyebrow. Connor and Murphy both exchanged a look.

"Ye need to talk with her. We can't leave her here."

"Go get her then."

Murphy got up before Connor even started to and left the kitchen. He paused only slightly before knocking on her door.

"Come in."

He opened the door to go in but stopped short when he saw the piles of clothes on her bed. He started at them for a second before turning to look at her.

"What the fuck are ye doin'?"

Katie looked up at him surprised. "What? I'm sorting laundry. What did you think I was doing?"

"Sorting laundry?"

"Yeah."

"Not packing?"

Katie smiled then, understanding. "No, Murph. I'm not planning on running."

"Oh, I thought maybe ye were mad or something."

She shook her head. "Mad?"

"Well, we only made ye leave for yer own good."

Laughing, she just started sorting again. "I know why. God, even my brothers used to do the same thing to me. That type of thing, I understand."

"Da wants to talk ta you now."

"I figured. First though, do you have any laundry that needs done?"

Murphy raised an eyebrow. "Yer gonna do laundry for us?"

"Murphy, it's not like it's not like I have to go down to the river and wash them against the rocks. Besides, I only have enough for two small loads. Of course, I'll do laundry for you…as long as it's not a truckload full."

"Connor's gonna love ye. He hates doin' laundry."

Katie just shook her head. She pulled out the large flowered tote bag she'd gotten a few days before. "Go get your laundry. I'll meet you in the kitchen."

* * *

She stared in the bathroom mirror for a few seconds before letting out a sigh. The bruise was still there. No matter how long she stared, it hadn't gone away. 

Katie had almost forgotten that she'd gotten elbowed at the bar. The guys had stopped staring at it the night before, and there was only the one mirror in the entire apartment. Yet she knew she would draw attention to herself in public because of the bruise. She needed to be nondescript. Unnoticable.

Even from her position all the way down the hall, she could still hear mumbling and soft laughter. _For needing to keep this all so secretive, they really aren't trying too hard._ None of the words she could hear made any sense. 23-B, 23-B. That was a number/letter combination she'd heard now at least twice. She couldn't help but wonder if it was important, or if she was just looking too hard for clues as to what they were doing exactly.

Reaching into the cupboard behind the mirror, she pulled out the foundation and powder she'd gotten a few days ago. If she was as good with makeup as she had been in high school, than this bruise might be able to be hidden. Leaning closer, she looked at her actual eyeball. No sign of bruising or damage there. She'd definitely be able to cover this up then.

Her talk with Da had been short and mostly unnecessary. It seemed that he, unlike his sons, had actually come to their conclusion much sooner. He had offered a new theory, which had only succeeded to make Katie more nervous. Da thought it was quite possible that New York Mafioso had made contact with Boston Mafioso. It would explain how she and Janie had gotten kidnapped in the New York Mob's territory. That also might mean that Katie knew something about this linkage, whether she realized it or not. Basically, when it came down to it, Da pointed out that the attacks might be for both reasons, to intimidate Katie as well as to take down the Saints. She was the only complete linkage from New York to Boston to the Saints.

"So, what is it that I know?" She leaned closer to smooth out the makeup on the edge. Satisfied, she leaned back and saw that bruise was hidden fairly well.


	7. Chapter 7

It took four washers for her to fit all of the clothes in. Katie looked around the nearly empty Laundromat and was thankful no one else seemed to do laundry on a Friday afternoon. It became clear when she'd left the apartment with two bags full that the McManuses never did laundry unless they had too. Smiling, she shook her head. After seeing their gratitude, she knew it was one thing she'd be willingly stuck doing for as long as she was around them. Leaning against the washer, she checked the time on her cell phone again. 2:10. Although she'd been told no time, she was sure she still had awhile to wait.

She'd seen the Laundromat from the car as they parked and had managed to convince them to let her at least get started while they did whatever it was they were going to do. They'd been secretive again, but since she'd not actually seen any weapons she had no idea what they could possibly be doing. Instead of answering her questions, they simply pointed across the street and told her to wait there; they'd be back in a while. A while. They hadn't even given her a fucking timeline. She was to wait for them. And that was all.

Katie could feel herself getting angry and sighed. She had no right. This was something they'd been doing long before she'd meet them and would continue to do. If she hadn't been stupid enough to become a target, she wouldn't have been put in this position.

"Fuck this." She rubbed a hand across her forehead and checked the clock again. 2:14. Glancing around, she saw a bored looking teenager reading a magazine at the desk area. "Hey, is there some place I can get a Pepsi or something?"

The girl looked up at her, surprised to find that there was still someone in the building. "Uh, sure. There's a little convenience store halfway down the block."

Katie smiled at her. "Can you keep an eye on my other bag up there? I'll be right back."

She grabbed the big tote bag and headed out the front. It felt good to be able to go buy a drink without checking with anybody. Not that either Connor or Murphy had been trying to imprison her. At least not on purpose.

Something caught the corner of her eye and she looked back casually. Two men stood just a few feet away and were staring at the building across from the Laundromat. The same building the McManuses had gone into. Katie quickly turned her attention to pretending to look for something in her bag as one of them starting talking.

"They're in there. Leon said to wait until they come out."

"It looks like a fuckin' apartment building. Maybe they live there."

"I don't think anyone lives there. It's fucking run down."

"Well, they are fuckin' Irish. Maybe that's the best they can afford."

Katie's fingers closed over her phone as her heart raced. Were they talking about the Saints? Pulling out her phone, she peered at it. Who else could they be talking about? She had to do something. Forcing a fake smile on, she put the phone to her ear.

"Hey, baby. Where are ya?" She cooed into her phone and flipped back her hair with her other hand. She had to get into the building. But she had to do it without tipping the two men off.

"Nope, I'm just doing some shopping. You know me. There are still a few stores left I haven't hit." Katie laughed flirtatiously and moved past the two men. She waited only a second before crossing the street against the light. There wasn't time to be a good pedestrian.

Keeping up the appearance of her conversation, she moved down the block and turned into the alley. It was only once she was around the corner that she allowed her hands to start trembling. Those guys had been mobsters, that much she'd figured out. She'd learned to sense them a mile away. It was overly tempting to peek back around the corner to make sure she hadn't been obvious. But she knew if she did that she'd risk being seen again

"Fuck." She muttered and scanned the shadowed alley. A broken down door was only a few feet away. It was locked, but the wood was so rotten she barely had to push to get it open. _Real safe building here. _Narrowing her eyes, she paused to let herself adjust to the darkness as the smell of mold and dust hit her. Where the fuck were they in the building?

Stepping forward slowly, Katie was careful to make as little noise as possible. She considered reaching for the switchblade at her ankle, but remembered Connor's warning to not pull it out unless there was a reason to use it. There wasn't a reason, yet.

Holding her cell phone up, she flipped it open again. 2:21. Biting her lip, she quickly decided against calling one of them. She didn't want to bring any more attention to them than necessary. Or to herself for that matter. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the blue light from her phone caught a piece of metal high on the door to her right. Stepping closer, the dull gold numbers stood out. 29-A. No, she needed _23-B!_ That number had meant something! She had to be close.

She found the door six more down and across the hall from where she'd started. Her heart beat faster as she realized she had no idea what she was going to do. Did she go in? What if this wasn't the right apartment? Shaking her head, she took a deep breath. She'd come done all of this to find them and warn them. There was no other choice but to go through with it.

Reaching out the door, Katie was not really surprised to find the door was unlocked. It felt surreal to her as she turned the knob and silently moved inside. The doorway was cut off from the rest of the room by a dividing wall, so her entrance could have gone unnoticed. The apartment was dark and silent save for the soft mumblings of another language coming from the other room.

Forcing herself to take another deep breath, she stepped forward to peek around the corner into the other room. She bit back a gasp as her eyes fully adjusted to the even dimmer light. Murphy and Connor were each kneeling by a separate body, muttered words she couldn't understand. The blood wasn't like she'd imagined it would be. Small circle bursts of red spotted the walls and chairs. Near each man was a glossy pool of darker red blood spreading out on two sides. Her eyes wandered to the third body and she had just noticed the absence of Da when she heard the hammer of a gun being pulled back only inches from her head. She froze.

Katie only realized she'd made a sound with both Murphy and Connor looked up quickly.

"Katie!" Murphy gasped. Connor spoke up at the same time.

"What the fuck are ye doing here?"

She just stared, barely hearing the gun's hammer being released and lowered from the side of her head. Da's voice floated to her ears, but she found she couldn't follow what he was saying. Her eyes were on the gun in his hand; the same gun that had just been held to her head. The gun was holstered as she watched, but she still didn't react until his rough palm gripped her chin.

"Katie." He only said her name once more but she immediately turned her attention to him. Da held her gaze for a moment. "Take a deep breath now, lass."

She found herself complying without a second thought and felt her heart slow down enough that she could feel the separate beats of it. Her reason for being there came back to her and she stepped back quickly, surprising Da. "You guys need to get out of here soon and separately."

Both Murph and Connor moved toward them, standing on either side of Da. All three of them wore confused expressions. Katie took another deep breath.

"Two men, two mobsters are outside watching you. They are waiting to do…to do, I don't know what to you. But you all need to get out of here quickly."

"What did they look like?"

"One is tall and stockier. The other is a little smaller. But I don't think they are alone."

"We can't just take 'em out on a fuckin' busy street." Murphy muttered. Da kept watching Katie but nodded.

"Ye found us to warn us then?"

She nodded.

"How did ye find us?" Connor asked this time. She gave him a small smile.

"I'm just that good." Laughing, she smiled fully. "Okay, so I heard the apartment number this morning."

Da nodded briskly at this and put his hand under her elbow, steering her to the door. "Go on back to the Laundromat. Be careful about it. Have yer phone out and ready to use if ye need it. One of us will be there to get ye soon."

Nodding, she opened the door again. She looked at each of them in turn. "There's a back door that I don't think they're watching. That's how I got in. But they can see you once you leave the alley." She bit her lip. "Be careful!"

Turning, she hurried back down the hallway and out the rotted door. Pausing slightly, she looked down either side of the alley. She shook her head and went the other way, opposite of how she'd gotten there. As she walked, she reached into her bag and pulled a spare hair thing. Pulling back her hair, she then put her sunglasses on. Looking down at herself, she stopped, took off her coat and stuffed it into the bag. It was a little cold for having no coat, but her light yellow jacket was too recognizable. Especially if these two were connected to those who had been followed her the last time. Now the only thing that was completely noticeable about her was the bag. She could only hope the two men didn't notice her bag.

* * *

She was folding the clothes out of the dryer by the time that Murphy finally walked into the Laundromat. It took her a moment to recognize him and she struggled not to laugh. He had pulled on an ugly multi-colored sweater over his dark grey t-shirt. Covering his dark hair was a Red Sox hat that completely clashed with the colors of the sweater. He just raised an eyebrow at her scrutiny. 

"Man, I guess I've got to teach you how to dress."

He just laughed softly and walked over closer to her. He put a warm hand on her shoulder and leaning down to whisper in her ear.

"Anyone bother ye?"

She shook her head no. "But they're still out there." The humor she felt was gone as she glanced over her shoulder again. She could still see the two dark jackets from where she stood. Murphy shrugged.

"Yeah, they kinda stick out."

"Everyone else get out okay?"

He nodded. "As far as I know. I was the last one out. Da and Connor'll meet us at the apartment."

She just pursed her lips and continued folding laundry. Reaching over, Murphy pulled a few shirts out and started folding some himself. She couldn't help but smile.

"I thought you hated doing laundry."

"No. Connor hates doing laundry. I don't necessarily hate it, I just avoid it. Besides, we should get out of here as soon as we can."

She mated the last few socks as he pulled down the duffle bag from on top the dryer and started filling it. Everything that didn't fit was put into Katie's tote bag. She noticed with silent humor that he'd left her underwear for her to put in the bag. All guys really were alike.

They left the Laundromat silently, Murphy actually acting like a gentlemen and opening the door for her. He automatically headed in the opposite direction of the men. Katie followed close behind him. They were both silent for a few moments.

"So what's next?" She finally asked. He glanced down at her, distracted. Acting like he was checking the street signs, he turned to the side and glanced behind them. Nodding slowly, he turned back and pointed to the side street.

"Well, now we meander. We're being fuckin' followed."

Katie moved to look but he put his arm around her to stop her.

"Don't look. Just act normal."

"Fuck, what is normal?"

He grinned. "Good question. Who do ye want to be?"

"Miss America." She waved her arms dramatically.

"Aye, but maybe we should be something they'll likely believe."

She gave him a shocked look before laughing. Reaching over, she smacked him lightly on the chest. "Gee, thanks, Murph. You sure know how to compliment a girl."

Laughing softly, he just shifted his arm so it was more naturally across her shoulders. Katie automatically slipped her arm around his waist. He nodded with a grin.

"Now that's more what I was referring to."

Looking up at him, she raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"If they think we're a…well, together maybe they'll leave us alone quicker. What's the likelihood that one of the Saints would have a girlfriend?"

Katie was silent for a moment before smiling again. "Okay, but I think we should make it more obvious."

"How?" He looked at her quickly out of the corner of his eye. She tired but failed at suppressing a loud laugh. Murphy turned his head fully to look at her this time as she covered her mouth with her hand. "What?"

"Nothing. You just looked so frightened there for a moment." Katie grinned. "Don't worry, I'm not going to violate you on the street or anything. How are you at acting?"

"Uh, don't really know. Why?"

"Just work with me." She winked at him before pulling away looking irritated. "Mark, you told your mother what?"

He stopped and turned to her with a frown, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Answer me!" She demanded.

Murphy's eyes widened and Katie could tell that he was trying to come up with an answer. She waited only a second before saving him the trouble.

"You are such a mama's boy. I can't believe you told her she could help name the baby!"

"Well, at least then I won't have a son named Chadwick." He answered after a very short hesitation. She felt her jaw drop slightly. He'd somehow managed to completely respond without any hint of an Irish accent.

"Good God, that was a freaking joke!" She choked out in response. He fought a grin.

"So your sense of humor is as bad as your baby-naming skills."

Katie stared at him for a moment before forcing herself to start to cry. It took immense concentration to continue when she saw the concerned look on his face. Even Murphy was buying the act. He slipped his arm around her again and brought her into his embrace.

"Shh, now Katie." His accent was back but his voice was too low to matter. She felt him move slightly back and forth, as if he was checking out the area. "Let's go get something ta eat. There's a café right here."

She nodded against his chest and pulled away to allow herself to be led into the café. Waiting until they were inside and seated, she finally grinned fully at him and wiped her eyes. He just shook his head with a smile.

"You're fuckin' convincing."

"Thanks. I can't believe you can drop your accent like that!"

He laughed softly. "You'd be surprised how often that's come in handy."

"I imagine. So did they get to see the show?"

"Yeah, they were still there, but they did look pissed off."

"Almost as if they'd followed the wrong people?"

"That's what I'm hoping." He glanced over her shoulder to see out the window. "I can't imagine they'd hang around."

"But…?"

"We should probably stay here for a little while at least."

Katie looked at the menu and realized she was starved. "I think I could suffer through a little while."

He nodded in agreement. The waitress came and took their orders. Both of them remained silent until after they'd gotten their food. After taking a few bites, Murphy looked up at her.

"So what would ye be doing if ye hadn't tried to become a mafia princess?"

Katie laughed. "I wasn't trying to become a mafia princess."

"Ye know what I mean."

"I don't know. Something with my degree probably."

"Such as?"

"Ah…I either wanted to be a therapist or a social worker. Specifically to work with kids whose parents or family members were victims of violence."

"Like you?" His voice was soft, making Katie look up at him. His attention had returned to his food. She sighed.

"No, not really like me. I was lucky. I had Brett and Peter. We made it together. There are kids out there who have it much, much worse."

"Aye, there are."

She was quiet for a second. "I think if there is one even that dramatically affects your life, you tend to either hide from it in your career choice or you are drawn to it in your career choice. While what happened to me and my brothers was tough, we were teenagers…which made it easier and we were close, even before it happened."

"Yet, you and yer brother sought vengeance." Murphy finally looked up at her. She nodded slowly.

"Yeah, Brett had a tougher time of all of it. One day he was 18 and a fresh high school graduate. The next he was fighting to keep us together and taking care of two younger siblings. He was angry and no one could blame him. He barely waited a year before he started working his way into the lower ranks of the mob."

"What about you?"

"I never wanted to, not until he was killed."

"What happened?"

"I don't really know, Murph. Once again, my brother sought to protect me. Peter never would give me the details."

"Do ye really want to know?"

"I think I need to know."

They were silent for another moment before she looked up at him again. "How about you? What did you do before all of this?"

Murphy grinned at that. "We worked lots of odd jobs. The last one was at a meat-packing plant here in Boston."

"Well, what did you want to do?"

He just shrugged. "Never really had a plan past getting here. Neither of us really wanted to go back to school. Not that we could fuckin' afford it anyhow."

Katie shook her head with a grin. "So what? No dreams or career aspirations?"

"Aye, we had some."

She waited for him to continue. "Which were?"

Chuckling softly, Murphy shrugged again. "I did want to be a cop for awhile."

"That's kind of funny, actually."

"Yeah, I don't see that dream coming true. Connor and I also attempted to start a band when we were 13."

"Can either of you sing or play an instrument?"

"Nope, we had no fuckin' hope there."

"Okay, so if you could have done anything, what would it have been?"

"Connor's is easy. I think deep down he still wishes he could be a fuckin' cowboy."

"Well, that explains his obsession with Westerns. So what, you wanted to Rambo or James Bond?"

He grinned. "Neither. Though, I did go through a Sherlock Holmes phase."

Katie stared at him a second before laughing.

"What?" He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. She just laughed harder.

"I was picturing you in tweed with a magnifying glass."

"Christ, I hate tweed. It's fuckin' scratchy. Ma made us wear matching tweed suits once for a funeral."

Katie pushed her plate away from her with a sigh. "Okay, Sherlock. Think it's safe to leave?"

Murphy glanced out the window for a second before nodding. "Aye, I think we're okay."

"How far are we from home anyhow?"

"Really only a ten minute walk. We just drove in case something happened."

He grabbed the ticket out of her hand and walked up to the cashier to pay. Katie rolled her eyes and followed.

"I could pay for my own, you know."

"I know." Murphy just grinned back at her. He got his change, pocketed it and led her to the door. "But I was trained to never let a girl pay."

"Ah," she grinned. "More of that Irish upbringing. See now why you guys just are not a threatening bunch?"

"From what little you fuckin' know."

"Yeah, as if there's a whole side I haven't seen of you yet."

"Ye say that ever after what you've see today?"

Katie wrinkled her forehead slightly as she looked up at him. "I knew what you guys did already."

"Then why the fuck did you freeze up like that?" His question was quiet and his eyes were focused straight ahead. She bit her lip slightly.

"Murph, it's not what you think."

"Then what is it?"

"I've seen blood before. Fuck, I've even see dead bodies before. That stuff doesn't fucking bother me."

He pulled on her arm to make her stop and turned to face her. She found that she couldn't look him in the eye. "Then what is it, Katie?"

She sighed. "I don't like guns." Shaking her arm loose, she started walking again. He took a few big steps to catch up.

"Okay, so ye don't like guns." He said slowly. "So guns scare you, don't they?"

"Yeah, it did fucking scare me to have one put to my head. I know Da didn't know it was me, but that's why I fucking froze, okay?"

Murphy nodded. "Okay." They were quiet again for another block before Katie looked up at him again.

"So, if you could start a new career tomorrow, what would it be?"

He laughed. "We're back to this again, are we?"

Katie just nodded.

"Well, Connor and I have always wanted ta open a bar."

"God, I can actually see that happening."

"Yeah, it'd be a fun thing ta do. But it's not something we could do at the moment."

"No, that whole moving thing might interrupt that." She laughed. He just smiled and shook his head. "You two plan on really sticking together, don't you?"

"Aye, we do. Why?"

"Well, you just keep saying 'we'."

"I can't imagine wanting ta do something without him."

"Awww…how cute."

He choked on a laugh. "What?"

"Brotherly love." She grinned. He just shook his head again.

"Let's go. They'll be waiting for us."

Katie looked up and realized they were to the apartment building. "Wow, that was a fast walk."

"Yeah, we weren't too far, really."

Murphy held open the door for her again and followed her into the building.

* * *

Connor tapped a frustrated beat with his left hand as he channel surfed with his right. The apartment was quiet but for the sound of each channel as it was cut off by the next. Dropping the remote, he continued to tap the rhythm as he picked up his cell phone with the other. 4:13. Where the fuck where they?

He tensed when he heard soft laughter and only relaxed slightly when he heard the key slid in the lock. Katie opened the door and flashed him a smile before moving aside to let Murphy in. All of Connor's worry worked itself into a burst of anger.

"Where the fuck have you two been?" His voice was louder than he intended but he continued to glare at them. They both looked at him surprised.

"Connor, we-" Katie started but he cut her off.

"Do you know how long I've been waiting for ye?"

Murphy held up a hand. "We were fuckin' followed. We couldn't exactly lead them straight here."

"But why didn't ye at least call?"

"Why didn't you?"

Katie looked back and forth between their faces. "Where's Da? Did he get home alright?"

Connor spared her a look and a nod before staring back at his brother. Murphy continued to calmly hold his gaze. She just shook her head before stepping between them.

"Look, Connor, we're sorry. I didn't think about it and Murphy was more worried about making sure we didn't get caught. If I'd realized how worried you'd be, I really would have called."

He nodded again. "Fine, Katie."

She could tell he was still pissed. Sighing loudly, she waved her hands. "Whatever, Connor. I'm gonna go put my laundry away. You two have fun with your staring contest."

He nodded a third time but didn't look at her. Murphy sighed and raised an eyebrow as she left the room.

"So what's the punishment, _Da_?"

Connor made a face. "Oh don't even fuckin' start with me. Ye got so distracted with her that ye didn't even think about anything else."

"No, Conn, I got distracted by the fact that despite this stupid fuckin' sweater and hat combo, we still got followed. That means they know us well enough by face to suspect me."

"Or her."

"Yeah, or her. But I did find out why she freaked out today."

Connor leaned back then and grabbed the remote with his right hand. Murphy moved to sit in Da's chair.

"Turns out, our Katie has a fear of guns."

"What?" Connor looked at him surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah, really."

"She landed with the wrong group of people."

"Aye, I wonder just how she made it with the mob."

"Maybe she didn't have to deal with them too often. Some of those underlings are more likely to use fists than guns. Less of a legal charge if they got caught."

"Maybe."

They heard the key in the lock again and both of them looked up as Da walked in. He gave them both a quick nod and Murphy moved out of his chair. It was only after Da was seated that he spoke.

"Well, we've got a new place."

"Really, that soon?" Murphy grinned at him.

"Aye. Pack your things tonight, boys." Da leaned back in his chair and put the smoking pipe to his mouth. Connor nodded.

"I figured we'd move this soon. Where to?"

"Smecker found us a place not too far from where you boys used ta live. Might not be as nice, but it's safe."

Katie had heard Da come in and watched from the doorway, unsure she should intrude on what was obviously another family discussion. Da puffed on his pipe again before speaking.

"We'll also be taking a break for now."

"A break?"

"Aye, Murphy, a break."

"Why now? We just fuckin' got here. We've barely begun."

"And we've already been found. We're being watched. We'll be taking a break."

Murphy stood and paced slightly before turning back to where Da sat.

"No, we can't."

"Murph…" Connor's voice was a warning.

"Fuck! No, I want to keep going."

"What's the harm in a break, Murph?"

"If we stop now, more people will die. Each fuckin' day those murderers have a chance to take a life they will." He stopped and looked at Connor. "We need to keep going for the innocents. We need to keep going for Rocco."

"Christ, Murphy, you shedding blood isn't going to bring him back!"

"He didn't want us to stop. I'm not fucking stopping until-"

"Until what? Until someone else is dead? Until you are dead? I don't want to live that way forever. It's not for me."

"If we stop now, we'll never get started again. They've always been fuckin' watching us. We're too fuckin' good to get caught!"

"So far. It's that overconfidence that could led to us rotting in jail or worse." Da spoke up. Connor got to his feet and grabbed his coat. He pushed past Murphy without a word. It was only when he got to the door that he looked back.

"I don't care if we don't fuckin' start again. At least then we won't have this God damn argument again."

Connor slammed the door was he left followed shortly by Murphy who headed in the opposite direction. Katie sighed and moved to sit on the couch near Da. He smiled her way.

"Don't worry, lass. They've been fighting like that for years. Their ma'd give me an earful every time I called home to check on'em."

"They just seem so angry."

"Aye, and they'll either go a'drinking or a'fighting to get it out of their system. They'll be friends before they sleep tonight, I promise you that."

Katie smiled and closed her eyes as she leaned back into the couch.

"You'd better go get your things together too, my dear. If I know me boys, they'll be ready to leave right away in the morning."

"That early, huh?"

At that, he just nodded and she took it as her call to leave. She wandered down to her room and threw herself onto the bed. God, she hadn't witnessed an emotional fight like that in years.

* * *

Three hours later she laid in the darkness of her room, completely unable to sleep. Neither of the boys had come back yet. She'd put off her packing until the morning, unable to concentrate and not quite needing something to distract her. Relief hit her as she heard the footsteps coming down the hall and she knew it was Murphy before he even spoke.

"Now do we have to go through this every night?" His voice was low but she could tell he was smiling.

"Murph. I could say the same damn thing, you know." Katie sat up quickly and kept her eyes on his silhouette in the doorway. "I'm glad you're home."

"Good, now come sleep in my bed."

She laughed, a little shocked. Moving out of her bed, she stood in front of him and crossed her arms over her chest. "It takes a little more than pleading, Murph."

"You know what I fuckin' mean. I'll take the floor."

"I'm fine here with my lump-less bed."

He leaned down and put his shoulder into her stomach, lifting her off her feet and onto his shoulder. "If you won't go willingly, I'll take you myself."

She squirmed and laughed, beating his back with her hands.

"Dammit, Murphy. Put me down!"

"Nope, this is for your own good."

She aimed a few kicks and grinned when she felt him gasp

"Jesus woman, that was close."

"Put me down!"

He shook his head and turned towards the door. Knowing this was her last chance she wiggled harder and kicked a few more times. He flipped around and lost his balance, falling onto her bed. She hit the bed with a groan and laughed as he pretended to collapse on her, pressing her further into her bed. When she looked up, his face was only inches from hers and the laughing words died in her throat. He leaned in and kissed her before she could lean towards him herself. The kiss was soft, almost just a whisper. She stared up at him and saw the same shock in his eyes.

"Murph?" Connor's voice called as he headed down the hall. Murphy broke their eye contact and stood up quickly. He walked out the door without giving her a second look. Katie lifted a hand to her mouth and sat up quickly.

"Hey." She could hear Murphy's quiet voice in the hallway. There was a moment's pause.

"Where'd you go?"

"A bar. You?"

"A walk. McGinty's?"

"Never. It'd be suicide to go in there without ya. But there was this girl…"

Murphy laughed softly and Katie could tell they'd moved towards their bedroom.

"Connor, there's always a girl."

She stayed where she was as she heard their door close softly. Her heart was still racing and she forced herself to take a deep breath. Laying back on her bed, she hugged her arms to her body and shook her head. What the fuck had just happened? Rubbing her face over her hands, she knew that between her nightmares and her dreams, there was no way in hell she was getting any sleep that night.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Short chapter, I apologize. I realized only after re-reading it that I stopped sooner than I meant to with Chapter 7. This is the mini-chapter before the next full one. Thanks so much for the reviews so far! I'm glad I'm not the only one enjoying this (because I have to tell you, I'm having a blast writing it...does that make my life boring:) Please continue to R & R!**

While it may have been a challenge, she thought maybe she could coax herself to sleep. Racing thoughts filled her head, tangling and knotting any semblance of order in her head as she had attempted to focus on simply breathing in and breathing out. She gave up trying to sleep after a full hour of tossing and turning.

Sitting up with a sigh, she leaned back against the wall and raised her hand to her lips again. He'd kissed her. Murphy had kissed her. And then as soon as Connor had called, he'd walked away. Her chance to kiss him back was gone.

She'd found herself watching him at random moments. Just a little crush, she'd convinced herself. After all, what American girl wasn't attracted to a good Irish accent? It was practically in her raising, in her culture. But this wasn't just an Irish accent. This was Murph. Murphy. Her friend. Connor's brother. Da's son. And the man she had to live with for who knew how long?

Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair. What was she still even doing here? They'd saved her life, not invited her to live out the rest of her life with them. But she knew they wouldn't push her away. It was up to her to leave if she was going to. But did she want to?

The thought of leaving scared her. More than it should have. This wasn't the first time the mob had followed her. But now it was affecting the lives of the three men who'd saved her. They hadn't asked for this. She had every reason to leave and remove the threat from their lives. Allow them to find their own way without her interruptions. It made sense to her brain.

But to her heart, she had every reason to stay. Not that she expected any whirlwind romance with Murphy. After all, it was just Murph. He'd probably already written off the kiss as another impulsive thing. Something that didn't need to be followed up on. And somehow, she knew she could convince herself to be okay with that. If that's how things were meant to be.

Katie lifted her head and stared out her doorway, wondering if the two brothers were asleep. And if Da was home. They'd become her reasons to stay. Somehow, in a time shorter than a week, they'd become the closest thing to family she'd had in a long time. As with nearly everything else in her life, she'd lost that with Brett's death. While she had every reason to leave, she didn't know if she had the strength to. The strength to walk away from the McManus brothers and their Da. To walk out of their life forever. Because it would have to be forever. If she left now, she knew she'd never likely find them again.

"I've really fucked up this time." Her voice softly echoed through the room. Katie ran a hand over her face and slid off her bed. If she wasn't going to sleep, she was going to be productive. Then maybe that feeling in the pit of her stomach would go away.

Shuffling softly to her door, she shut it quietly. She didn't want the light to wake anyone up. The last thing she wanted to do was to talk to a McManus right now. Pulling out the two bags she'd brought home, she pursed her lips. It's a good thing she'd kept all of the shopping bags. She had a feeling they were going to need them.

It was nearly four o'clock in the morning when Katie finally leaned against the kitchen counter for a break. Her bags were packed. The bathroom had been scrubbed and left ready for a quick wipe down in the morning before they left. The kitchen had also been scrubbed after she'd tiptoed down the hall and shut the door so that light wouldn't wake up Da. She'd packed all of the non-refrigerated food into a few grocery bags on the counter. The counters were clean, the floor had been swept. She'd even made pancake batter for breakfast.

Her hands were raw and both her mind and body were exhausted. But she still couldn't sleep. Sitting down at the table, she began to feel emotional again and she didn't know if she could stamp it out this time with some menial chore. Moving always made her feel uprooted, but this was ridiculous. She felt hallow inside and as she stared at the pink and red hearts on her phone, she knew there was only one thing to do.

Katie picked up the phone and after forcing herself to take a deep breath, she dialed the number she still knew by heart. It was time to call home. After a moment of indecision, she pressed send. Putting the phone to her ear, the lack of ringing confused her tired brain. Then the automated message answered her yet unasked question. Peter's number had been disconnected.

"What?" She muttered and dialed the number again. She must have dialed wrong. His number couldn't be disconnected. The message echoed out of her phone again and she resisted the urge to hurl the plastic phone across the room.

Tears ran down before she could stop them. Peter was gone. Her last thread to home had snapped without her knowledge. Giving in finally, Katie buried her face into her folded arms and cried.

Da heard the sobbing from his chair across the room. He'd heard her come down the hall over an hour before. He didn't understand what she was doing, but he'd learned long before to give an emotional woman her space. And everything about Katie told him she was currently very emotional. But enough was enough. She needed sleep and so did he. And neither of them were going to get it if she continued crying behind the closed door of the kitchen.

Getting up slowly, he felt his limbs stretch and creak. Fuck, he was getting too old for this. He was slowing down, that much he could feel. He just wondered how long it would be before the boys noticed it. Then they'd insist on doing everything. _Just like they should be doing this!_ He thought as he walked quietly to the kitchen door.

The sounds of crying inside had lessened but he still pushed open the door. Katie glanced up as he came in looking five years younger and much more vulnerable. She sniffed and looked back down at her hands.

"I didn't mean to wake you up."

He shook his head and slid into the seat next to her. "It's okay, Katie. How are ye doing?"

She shrugged.

"Ye should get some sleep, lass. Tomorrow's a busy day."

"I know. I already packed everything and cleaned stuff up."

Da finally looked around the room and raised his eyebrows. "The boys could've cleaned this in the mornin'."

"Yeah, but I couldn't sleep, so I figured…"

"Well, I don't suppose it was cleanin' that made ye cry. So what's going on?"

"I just…" Katie paused and looked up again him. "Peter's gone."

"Peter's your brother, right?"

She nodded.

"How do ye know he's gone?"

"I tried to call finally. The boys told me to a few days ago. But I didn't try until tonight. The phone is disconnected."

"Maybe he moved."

"Yeah…but it was our parent's house. I didn't think he'd ever sell it. At least without telling me."

"A disconnected phone doesn't mean he sold the house, m'dear. Is there another number ye could call?"

"No." She covered her face with her hands and wiped away a few new tears.

"Now there's not much ye can do about it tonight."

"I don't think I can sleep, Da."

"Try for me. Please."

"I already took the sheets off my bed."

"Then take the couch. Ye need some sleep. Maybe a chance of scenery will help ye sleep."

She met his gaze again and nodded slowly. They both got up and Da put his arm around Katie. He led her to the couch and motioned for her to sit there. Leaving the room, he came back after a moment with her pillow and comforter.

"Thanks, Da. You guys are too good to me." She laid down and pulled the blanket over her. Relaxing back into his chair, Da just shook his head. "Night, Da."

"G'night, Katie."

After forcing herself to breathe slowly, exhaustion finally weighed down on Katie and before she realized it, she was asleep.

The shuffling down the hall a couple of hours later woke Da again. He opened his eyes slowly to see a grinning Connor followed shortly by Murphy. They both stopped at the sight of Katie curled up on the couch. Da shook his head at them and motioned to the kitchen.

Murphy moved to the coffee pot and blinked slowly at the bags on the counter. After looking for a moment, he pulled out the ground coffee and got a pot brewing.

"What's going on, Da?"

"Katie couldn't sleep. So I guess she got a few things done."

"So that's why the bathroom's clean." Murphy sat down next to Connor, who tossed the pack of cigarettes to him. They lit them together.

"Why couldn't she sleep?" Connor tilted his head to look at Da who leaned back in the chair.

"Don't know for sure. I'd say she's got a few things on her mind. And she tried to call her brother." He grabbed the pack of cigarettes from in front of Murphy and lit one himself.

"Really? I thought she'd done that already."

"What happened?" Murphy rubbed a hand over his eyes.

"The phone's disconnected. It upset her ta say the least."

"Why would that bother her?"

"He lived in their parent's house. She thinks this means he moved."

"Might have." Connor agreed with a nod. Murphy frowned.

"I can't believe he'd move without telling her."

"Well, they haven't exactly been on the best terms, Murph."

Da glanced at the coffee machine and saw there was enough for him to pour a cup. Getting to his feet, he looked down at his sons. "Just let her sleep awhile longer. I'll go shower first."

Both twins nodded and watched him leave the kitchen with a steaming mug in hand, closing the door slowly behind him. Connor took a drag before glancing at Murphy.

"How long do ya think it'll take us to get packed?"

Murphy shrugged. "Less than an hour, I'd say. Especially now. I can't believe she did all of this."

"I wonder what was bothering her." Connor caught the uneasy expression on Murphy's face. "What'd ye do, Murph?"

"Nothing."

"Murphy."

"Nothing, Connor."

"Ye didn't fight with her too, did ya?"

"No, I didn't." Murphy got to his feet and went to the fridge. "I'm starved."

After a second, he turned back to Connor with a grin.

"What?"

"Katie made pancake batter."

"What?"

Murphy pulled out the bowl and set it on the table. Connor raised an eyebrow.

"She really was looking for a distraction."

"You get to make them."

"How do ye fuckin' figure that, Murph? You found them."

"Aye, so I've done my work, Katie did hers, now it's your turn. Besides, yer much better at it than I am."

Connor just shook his head with a soft laugh. He grabbed the bowl and hit Murph on the side of the head with his other hand. "Fine, but if there's an odd number, I get more."

"Of course." Murphy grinned. Leaning back, he took another drag.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Wow, one with each chapter now, I guess. Thanks for all the of the reviews. And I hope this chapter is up to your expectations! I had a terrible creative block and I don't know exactly why. I think it has something to do with the fact that I like it when my characters are comfortable with one another...but that will change again soon...don't cha worry:) But I know exactly where I'm going now :) so it shouldn't take too long to do another longer chapter! **

It smelled like home. That was the first thing that Katie noticed as she began to wake up. The second thing was the unsettled feeling in her stomach. Keeping her eyes closed, she pulled the comforter tighter around her, barely noticing that it was the rough fabric of the couch below her instead of her cool cotton sheets. If she could sleep, maybe it would all go away. Maybe then when she woke up, she would be home.

The weight of a hand on her calf pulled her further out of sleep and she opened her eyes. Connor sat at the end of the couch looking at her. "Wake up, Katie." He smiled.

Groaning softly, she pulled the comforter over her head. "Go away."

She heard him laugh softly and felt the comforter being pulled away from her. For lack of a better option, she opened her eyes to look at him again. "Connor, you have no idea what I do or do not have on underneath this blanket."

She fought a smile as he raised an eyebrow at her and stopped pulling. "What?"

"When she went to sleep she was fully dressed. " Da's voice floated over from the chair and she glanced over at him.

"Da, you're not helping me here."

He just laughed. Connor used the distraction to pull the comforter fully off of her. Katie sat up fully and glared at him. "Can't a girl get some sleep?"

"Not on moving day. Sorry. You'll have to sleep later. But I did make you breakfast." He nodded at the coffee table. Looking over she saw the plate of pancakes. She shook her head slightly.

"Thanks, but no thanks."

"Why? You made the batter."

"My stomach says no." She pushed her hair back from her face with a sigh. Connor finished folding the comforter and sat back down next to her.

"Ye feel alright? Ye kind of look…flushed." He reached over and put his hand on her forehead before she realized it. "Are ye feeling sick?"

Sighing, she finally smiled. "I'm fine. I must have just been sleeping so heavily that I didn't realize I was too warm."

"That's how you slept through the crash in the kitchen."

She tilted her head at him and smirked. "What? Cooking breakfast on your own got a little tough?"

"No, I'm just not used to counters full of sacked food. Here, I worked hard. Eat up. Ye'll feel better."

"Really, I don't think pancakes are the answer. Coffee doesn't even sound good right now." She shrugged. "Sorry 'bout the wasted pancakes."

Connor laughed and shook his head. "Pancakes are never wasted in this house. Murph and I will split 'em. I already had to protect them from him once."

"Okay, they are officially donated to the 'Feed the Murphy' foundation. I'm gonna go shower." Pushing her pillow aside, she gave a half-smile to Da and walked down the hallway.

Katie was halfway through her shower when she heard the knock on the door. She ignored the nervous flutter of her stomach. What did Murphy want this time? Rolling her eyes, she shouted over the steam. "Come in!"

"Hey." Connor's voice surprised her and she just laughed softly.

"Good God, is it a fucking McManus initiation to bother me in the shower?"

"Nope, the fuckin' initiation is to get shot."

"What?"

Connor just laughed. "Nevermind. Murph made ye some tea. Da says it'll make ye feel better. I'll leave it on the counter."

"And you get to be the delivery boy? How special."

"No, but Murph is helping Da load the car. He needed someone with two good arms."

Katie peeked around the curtain with a frown. "Is yours still bothering you?"

He raised his eyebrows at her through the steam. "A little, but we can talk about this later. Murph might be comfortable interrupting yer showers, but I think I'll let ye finish."

She pulled the curtain closed again with a laugh. "Okay, Conn. Thanks for the tea." The door shut quickly behind him.

As she stepped out of the shower, Katie realized she really did feel better. She grinned as she saw the small bottle of Tylenol next to the mug on the counter. They may be annoying, but they knew how to make her feel better. Just one more reason why it was easier to just decide to stay.

* * *

Grabbing her two bags from the floorboard, Katie slid out of the front seat and stared up at the apartment building. It was an older dark red brick building in what looked to be a semi-questionable part of town. Shaking her head, she just smiled. _Nothing says 'home sweet home' quite like a cracked front stoop next to the alley. _

She turned and squinted at Connor who was piling bags next to the car. "You do realized I'm complete fucking lost, right?"

He grinned at her. "Don't ye worry. We're just the two to give ye a tour. This is our old area."

"Yeah, I heard that. Should that concern me?"

"Only if yer afraid of the Irish. It's nearly 100 around here."

"Uh oh, am I now a foreigner?"

"We'll just tell'em ye bleed green."

"Right." She laughed and followed Da up the stoop.

The apartment was sparsely furnished, dark and only half the size of the last one. Katie couldn't help but wonder about the former usage of this apartment. She couldn't imagine anyone living here for a long period of time. Setting her stuff off to one side, she exchanged a look with Da and shrugged.

"Maybe it'll look better all fixed up."

He nodded with a smile and set his bags down before going out the door again. Katie wandered slowly, checking out the speckled tiled wall of the kitchen. It was actually a fairly cute little kitchenette-type deal. Too small for all of them to fit in it at once, but she knew she could use that to her advantage. Definitely one way to keep them out of her way when she was cooking.

Reaching up, she shook the dust out of the curtains and opened them. Bright light filled the small area, making it look somehow better and worse.

"After a good cleaning, this could be a nice place." She muttered and jumped as Murphy spoke behind her.

"Leave ye alone for five minutes and yer already talkin' to yerself?"

She just smiled at him, feeling a little awkward. He'd managed to stay out of the room while she was in it all morning. "Yeah, I guess."

Their eyes met for a brief moment before he just silently nodded and went back down to get another load from the car. Katie put her hand to her forehead and sighed. _How long is it going to be this fucking awkward?_

"Christ." She muttered and closed her eyes.

"Lord's fuckin' name." Connor's voice made her jump again.

"What?" Opening her eyes again, she glared at him.

"Sorry, force o'habit. Our Ma says that ta us all the time. Anytime we said 'Christ'."

"Oh, okay. Whatever."

"Katie, smile. Yer supposed to be excited that we're moving. Fuckin' jump up and down a little bit or something." He laughed as she gave a half-hearted hop. "That's better."

Putting a hand on her shoulder, he gave it a squeeze before going back out the door. Katie found that she was smiling despite herself. Despite the awkwardness. She wondered if Connor'd noticed yet. _Or maybe he already knows._ God, she hoped not. That just what she needed. Uncomfortable moments with both McManus twins.

Katie let her eyes roam the room again, taking in the eclectic mix of furniture. There was another worn plaid couch, a coffee table with very little of its finish left and two nice looking lay-z-boys. She grinned as Da came back in.

"Hey, Da. Nice choice in apartments." She plopped into one of the plush chairs. "Anything to do with your choice of chairs to sleep in?"

He laughed softly and moved to sit in the other one. They both put up the footstools at the same time. "No, lass. These are merely a perk o'the apartment."

"Look at this, Murph. We're working our asses off and these two are taking a fuckin' tea break." Connor walked in and set his bags on the floor with Murphy following shortly behind him. They both raised an eyebrow at the two of them.

"Assumptions, assumptions, Connor. There's no fucking tea in sight." Katie gasped with laughter as he moved quickly behind her and tipped the chair backwards. "Help, Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

"Connor, don't ye be hurting these chairs now."

"But tipping Katie over in them is perfectly acceptable." She called from behind the upturned footstool. Both Connor and Murphy just looked at her and laughed. "You two are a lot of fucking help."

She slid back so she could stand up off of the chair. "Real fucking Irish gentlemen here. Okay, I'll get to work now. Where are the bathroom bags?"

Murphy handed her the two bags he still held without a word.

"Thanks. Now get to work." She laughed as she moved out of the way of Connor's swatting hand.

The bathroom ended up being bigger than she'd thought it would be for an apartment this size. A lot of things about place seemed weird. As she set out toothbrushes and towels, Katie wondered just what the specific use of this apartment was. And how they fit into that now. _Just one more thing to ask Smecker when he gets here._

* * *

Connor lounged on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table with a sigh. It was break time. The car was unloaded but bags still sat all around the tiny living room area, cluttering the floor. They'd have to get things settled soon. But that could wait until after lunch.

"Pizza's here!" Murphy's voice called from the hallway but Connor just waited. He knew his brother would bring the pizzas to the coffee table and collapse next to him. They weren't exactly the kitchen table, knives and forks type. He looked toward the short hallway to his left.

"Katie, food's here."

"Yeah, I heard. This apartment's not exactly in need of an intercom system, Conn." Her laughter floated in as she rounded the corner. She lost a little of her smile as she saw Murphy coming in. They met eyes and awkwardly scooted around each other.

Connor watched this with interest. What the fuck had happened between them? Murphy hadn't said anything to him, but he noticed the difference even before she'd woken up this morning. Something had happened before they'd gone to bed.

He looked back and forth between the two of them as Murphy sat down beside him and Katie perched on the edge of one of the easy chairs. But which one would be easiest to break?

"Thanks." He reached out and took the beers from Katie's hand, grinning at the Pepsi in her own. "Didn't you know its pizza and beer? Not pizza and Pepsi."

"In what world?"

"The normal one." Murphy answered with a grin as he opened his. Connor shook his head and pointed his finger at her.

"Better yet, the Irish one."

Katie just laughed. "Oh yeah, I'll need to get used to that around here. What is that again, I bleed green?"

Murphy choked on his drink before looking over at her. "Ye bleed what?"

"Connor said I should just claim I bleed green to fit in around here."

"Just don't give'em reason to test yer claim." He grinned at her. Connor laughed.

"I'm won't giving a blood sample, don't you worry. I'll keep my secret safe." She saluted Murphy with her Pepsi before taking a drink. Footsteps echoed down the hall and through the open front door. They all three looked up.

Connor grinned when he saw Smecker walk in behind Da. Smecker nodded at both of them with a smile.

"So what secret are ye goin' ta keep safe, Katie?" Da raised a thick eyebrow at her. She laughed softly.

"The well-hidden secret that I'm not full-blood Irish. And therefore I don't bleed green."

"Aye, keep with me boys and no one'll question ye."

Katie laughed louder. "It might actually be an issue?"

"Yeah, they'll start making ye wear a scarlet letter or something." Connor winked at her. She just shook her head and looked back at Da.

"Katie, this is Detective Smecker." Da used his hand to motion to him. She stepped forward and held out her hand to shake his.

"Nice to meet, you Detective."

"Please, call me Paul."

"Or Smecker." Murphy added. He laughed as Smecker gave him a look before turning back to Katie. She continued to study the detective.

"Or Paul."

"I'm Katie. Katie Shafer."

"Well Katie, how the hell did you get stuck with these guys?"

She laughed.

"Are you sure you have time for that story?"

"That's what he's here ta hear, lass."

"And ye need to tell him everything, Katie." Connor warned from behind her. She turned back to glare at him.

"I know I can trust _him_, Connor."

"Easier than us, huh?"

"Boys, leave her alone." Da cut her off before she could respond. Katie looked back at Smecker and smiled. She glanced at Da.

"We still need to get unpacked and I have to go to work at 2:30"

"It'll give these two something ta do." Da nodded at Connor and Murphy. They nodded slowly. Katie smiled at that.

"Good, keep 'em busy."

"Oh, ye'll be helping us later." Connor pulled out a pack of cigarettes and put two in his mouth. He lit them both and handed one to Murphy without a word. She watched this with amusement. Connor saw she was watching and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Nothing." She turned back to Smecker. "Let's get started then. Are you hungry?"

"Pizza, huh? It's always gourmet with you McManuses." Smecker nodded and took the seat on the couch nearest to where Katie had been sitting. "So, how do ya guys like the apartment?"

"Works for our purposes." Da reached out and opened the second pizza box. Both he and Smecker lifted a piece out.

"Paul, what was this apartment used for before us?" Katie fought a smile as both Connor and Murphy grinned at the use of his first name.

"Well, it was originally for short-term witness protection. But I bought it a few months ago for a cousin who ended up not needing the place."

"So that's why it's a little dusty."

"It probably is, yeah." Smecker chuckled and eyed the place. "So, Katie. Tell me how you ended up here in Boston."

"Get comfortable." Murphy muttered. Connor nudged him.

"Let the girl talk."

"Well, it all started two years ago…" Katie stared down at her Pepsi for a moment. Smecker sighed lightly and shifted into a better position on the couch.

"Okay, I'm comfortable now."

Katie laughed. "Anyhow."

"Sorry, couldn't not say it. Go on."

Taking a deep breath, Katie focused down at her hands and thought for a moment.

"Tell him everything, Katie. No fuckin' careful selection of facts." Murphy's voice was light but she knew he was making a point. She nodded and raised her eyes to look at Smecker. He watched her and waited patiently.

"When I was sixteen my parents were killed by a member of the Fertitta family…"

* * *

Murphy watched out of the corner of his eye as Katie talked to Smecker. Connor was behind him putting the food away in the cupboards. Turning a burner on, he lit his cigarette before turning his full attention to their conversation.

She was fuckin' nervous. He could tell by the way she was fidgeting with the overly long sleeves of her sweater. It was only a little surprising to him that he'd picked up that fact about her in the last few days. He was picking up a lot about Katie without realizing it. _Too fuckin' much really._

He knew that while she claimed to have lived her head for the past year, she thrived in a more open, family-like atmosphere. Like in their family. Almost as soon as she realized they wouldn't hurt her, she'd become one of them. Connor was right. She hadn't really opened up to them, but she had still interacted with them like she'd known them forever. Like she was comfortable with him. It wasn't until Katie that Murphy realized just how much he missed that interaction with others outside of Connor and Da. But they hadn't let anyone in since Rocco. Until her.

Murphy moved his eyes away and took a long drag. And now, because of an fuckin' impulse, he may have ruined that. She'd been uncomfortable around him all day. Because he was a fuckin' idiot. Why did he have to kiss her? They'd fuckin' wrestled around that like several times before. They were laughing and then he kissed her. Without even realizing he was doing it until it was done. And the look in her eyes afterwards made it clear that she hadn't expected it either. What the fuck had he been thinking?

He hadn't told Connor. He knew he should but wasn't ready to hear his brother's reaction to it. Connor would see it reasonably and Murphy didn't want to hear how much he'd screwed up. Raising his eyes to Katie again, he watched her.

The bruise around her eye had faded quite a bit, now just hovering around her eye like a light green shadow. She was beautiful, even with the bruise. Her eyes lit up as she laughed softly at something Smecker had said. He could see the light brown outer edges of her hazel eyes even from across the small room. Her dark brown hair hang heavily behind her shoulders, no longer pulled back in a ponytail. The dark red of the scab on her neck was barely noticeable. No one would see it unless they knew where to look for it. Murphy felt like he knew just where to look too well.

Her eyes moved up to met his and she stopped mid-sentence and stared back. Murphy felt his heart kick up a few beats and she smiled slightly and turned her attention back to Smecker.

An elbow nudged him from behind and he turned to find Connor watching him with a raised eyebrow. "Stop fuckin' staring. Yer making her more nervous."

Murphy gave a soft laugh and turned back to the last remaining bag on the counter. He was glad Connor was still distracted. Otherwise he might have noticed. After all, Katie wasn't the only one nervous anymore.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Wow, the creative dam had broken. Another shorter than normal one. I promise to get back to the original much longer length with this next chapter. Again, I found a good breaking point. And just so you know, very little of this chapter had been preplanned...the story ran away with itself. Next chapter, I hope to get it back on track...otherwise, it might be forever before this story is finished... Oh, the places to digress to... **

Smecker drove like a grandma. Katie realized this fact after only a block away from the apartment. It'd now taken nearly ten minutes to go three blocks. She hid a smile, deciding that the detective wasn't the type to see the humor in that comment.

"Thanks again for giving me a ride, Paul. Those idiots would have made me late if you hadn't been willing." She glanced over at him. He smiled back before looking back at the road.

"No problem. I needed to take the car back anyhow. Besides, I think you were enjoying it nearly as much as 'those idiots'."

Katie laughed. "Yeah, they some how make torturing me fun."

"I noticed." Smecker pulled the car up in front of the bar and then glanced in the rearview mirror, almost as if by habit. "I kind of wanted to talk to you alone anyhow."

"Okay, what about?"

"Well," He stopped and then turned to face her. "I just wanted to make sure you know what you are doing."

She frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

"You're living with fugitives. The McManuses are nice guys, yes; but you could get yourself in serious trouble with the law by knowingly living with them."

"But you're an FBI agent and you associate with them."

"Well, yeah. I've made my decision. I just want you to realize you do have one."

"Of course I have one, Detective." She answered quickly, feeling the anger bubbling up. Shaking her head, she reached for the door handle. He put a hand on her arm to stop her.

"Wait, Katie. I didn't mean any offence to them or you. I just…I just wanted you to make sure you've made a clear decision. Don't just stay with them because it's easier. They are involved in some heavy stuff. And if they keep going, odds are they will get caught some day. And I can only work to prevent that for so long. Just keep that in mind."

Katie sighed and looked back at him for a moment. "Paul, I believe in what they do. I also believe that it is necessary."

"Yes, but you can believe it and not keep yourself involved."

"I'm sure that's possible but I'm not sure that's possible for _me._ Either I can be here to help them when needed or I can be elsewhere and wonder if what I hear on the news is right."

"Promise me you'll make sure that's your decision. Promise me you'll think about it."

Katie studied him for a moment. There she saw the fatigue in his eyes and the worry lines on his face. He was starting to look older than he was. Although she'd never seen him before he'd meet the McManuses, she could that the stress was starting to show through. She nodded slowly. He gave her a half smile back and she realized what he was really trying to say. The McManuses might be easy to like, but they were hell to love.

* * *

The evening passed slowly as Katie tended the fairly busy bar. Saturday nights seemed to bring out all types of Irish to McGinty's. A few of the familiar customers teased her into smiling every so often, and a few of the unfamiliar ones tried to do the same. However, even Doc noticed her semi-depressed mood as the night dragged on.

She thought as she worked. Although she knew she wouldn't change her decision because of what Smecker said, she had promised to think. Between keeping her eye on the door and serving increasingly drunk patrons, she balanced out her options and played out different scenarios. She could leave. That option was always there. But if she left, where would she go? What would she do?

There was a danger to living with the McManuses. But it was a danger she was starting to realize she'd continue to risk without a second thought. And if made her feel good to know that she could help them. Even if it meant playing housekeeper, mother, nurse and sister, it made her feel as if she was helping something that was better than herself. Besides, she had made the promise to Ma that she'd keep an eye on her boys. And although she'd never met her, Ma was one McManus that she really didn't want to let down.

Katie wiped down the last few glasses and ran a clean cloth down the bar. Doc came out of the backroom with a bucket of ice. He set it on the ice bin and looked at her.

"What's b-b-b-othering ye t-tonight, m'dear?" He turned his head to the side as if to sneeze. "FUCK! ASS!"

She laughed softly and tilted her head at him. "Just one of those days."

"Where are th-the boys?"

Shrugging, she turned back to the bar with a sigh. "I don't know. Guess now that we've moved, they feel I'm safe to walk home without them."

"They'll be here." He sounded so sure. She just nodded and heard the ice pour into the bin. Doc obviously felt that was the answer she needed. Smiling a little, she shook her head and laid the cloth over the facet handle.

"I'm out of here, Doc. See ya Monday night."

He nodded. "Goodnight, lass."

"Night, Doc." Katie grabbed her coat and hesitated. She really was surprised they hadn't show up. Each time she heard the door open all night, she glanced and was a little sad to see that it wasn't them. And now, as she walked out the door, she realized that she really didn't know the way home.

She let the door close softly and stepped down onto the sidewalk. The street was darker than she'd remembered and actually fairly quiet. Shaking her head, she realized she'd been waiting for the horror film music to start up. _Good God, you've walked home alone before. _

Looking left, then right, Katie took a hesitant step forward. _Dammit!_ She was confused. The way to the old apartment was to the right. _Which way had Smecker's car pulled up?_ Closing her eyes, Katie tried to picture it. She'd gotten out on the side closest to the bar. _So, _she turned slightly to her left, _home is that way. _

Katie opened her eyes and choked back a scream as she saw a shadow just a few feet away. Murphy stood there and was watching her with a bemused expression. Her pulse quickened as she slowly smiled.

"What the fuck were ye doin'?"

"Trying to figure out my way home. Gave up on either of you showing up."

He grinned. "Oh, sorry."

"Where's Connor?"

"He met some girl for dinner."

Katie's jaw dropped. "He had a date?"

Murphy laughed softly as he rubbed the back of his head with his hand. "Yeah, he met the girl last night at a bar."

They started walking slowly away from McGinty's. She shook her head and gave a half laugh. "Poor girl."

"Why?"  
"She's going to have to pass the McManus test."

"The McManus test?" He smiled at that. "Aye, I suppose there is something like that."

"Have any of his girlfriends passed before?"

He laughed. "Well…"

"And that explains why he's not married."

"Maybe."

Katie found herself walking closer to Murphy as they turned onto a darker street. He didn't seem to notice and for the first time all day, they were comfortably silent. As they walked, she tried to memorize their surroundings. She knew that it was important that she learned this area.

Murphy turned into a pitch black alley and she stopped frowning.

"Murph, isn't there a different route?"

He looked back at her. "What?"

"Isn't there a better street route than this? I should learn the proper route."

"Aye, ye should. But trust me here."

Katie stared at him for a second but slowly started forward. Her eyes wandered left and right as she entered the dark alley. Shadows played tricks on her imagination and she felt her heart start to race. She'd never been a fan of alleys, especially at night. When she reached Murphy's side, she realized he'd been watching her.

"Are ye okay?"

She nodded mutely and started looking around them again. His hand curled around hers and he laced their fingers together. She looked back at him and he winked.

"We'll be fine."

She sighed. "God, I feel like such a _girl._"

His laughter echoed softly around them. "Ye are a girl, Katie."

"I know, but it's just a fucking alley."

"A dark one. It's a normal fuckin' fear."

"Fine, but if a bee comes after you; you get to be the fucking girl."

He laughed again. "Alright. Ye can protect me then."

"So, why the alley again?" She looked up at him as they walked. He pursed his lips lightly and was silent for a moment. They neared a dumpster and an alleyway within an alley that ran in an intersecting direction. Letting go of her hand, he stepped forward.

"Look up." He spoke softly and pointed at the building behind them. Katie turned her face upwards, her eyes following the fire escape up the red building.

"What am I looking for, Murph?"

"We used ta live here. Up there. On the 5th floor." He looked at her. "I'd take ye up there, but who knows who's fuckin' up there now. If they even fixed it."

"Fixed it?"

He gave a hard laugh. "Yeah, Connor pulled the toilet out."

Katie looked at him quickly. She'd noticed the change in his tone and now saw the tension in his body. "Murphy, what happened here?"

She watched as he forced himself to take a deep breath. Turning, he stepped back toward the dumpster, placing his hand on the scratched green metal rim. "This is where they came after us."

"They." She repeated. Then it clicked. "The Russians?"

He nodded slowly and stared at a point off to the side. "They broke down the door." His eyes flicked upwards and his voice was softer. "Then they cuffed Conn to the toilet. They said they'd come to kill him but would kill me instead."

He was silent for another moment. Katie watched him closely. "Why was Connor the target?"

"He instigated it. I really only watched his back as he did it. They didn't understand that we were both in on it. Equally. That's just how we work. Connor acts and I fuckin' watch his back."

He shut his mouth tightly, pressing his lips into a straight line and his eyes returned to the ground in front of him.

"So he pulled the toilet out of the floor to get to you."

Nodding sharply, he raised his gaze to meet hers. "He fuckin' saved me." Murphy motioned down to the ground. "They made me kneel here. Were going to shoot me. He took the toilet up to the top of the fire escape and fuckin' jumped off with it."

"Fuck." Katie muttered, ignoring the slight shiver down her spin and found herself looking up again. "And somehow you both survived. You really are saints." She looked back at him. "Is this the first time you've been back since?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah. Never felt the need to before."

"Why do you think you felt you needed to tonight?"

They were both silent. Katie stepped forward and reached for his hand. He smiled slightly.

"I thought I'd lost him, Katie." His answer was so soft she barely heard it. "It was only for a second. Until I could get to him and see that he was still breathing. But it felt like fuckin' forever."

She let go of his hand and stepped slowly closer to him. He met her gaze and after a pause opened his arms for her. That was all the answer she needed. She wrapped her arms around him and held on tight. He leaned his chin against her temple and she closed her eyes against the warmth of his body. It felt so good but she only hoped it helped him feel better. That it was what he needed at that moment.

"I've never be able to tell him that." His voice was a whisper next to her ear. She squeezed him tighter before pulling away slightly to look up at him.

"I don't think you need to, Murph. I think he already knows."

He smiled at that and nodded. Pulling her closer again, he kissed the top of her head before stepping away from her. "Thanks, Katie."

Nodding, she turned to face the original direction they had been heading in. Smiling slightly, she looked up at him.

"So what's next on the tour?"

"The tour?"

"Yeah, the tour of all the places in this town where you and Connor have nearly croaked." Katie winced softly as she realized how insensitive that sounded. But Murphy just laughed.

"Oh, we don't have time for that. Da'll worry if we're not home by tomorrow night."He set his arm around her shoulders and playfully tugged on her hair. She smiled, feeling some of the uneasiness of the day leave her.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Updated chapter 11 (6/6/06). Since Rynn pointed out a few things that were off, I decided to redo the chapter and resubmit it (Again, thanks so much Rynn!) So, the only real new stuff is that Green Day is no longer the CD of Brett's that Katie scratched (wasn't thinking when I used that band...forgot for a moment that this takes place a year after the movie, not today...) and I've added and changed a bit of the last scene with the 'gun school'. Hope this comes across as more realistic. Feel free to offer any suggestions! Thanks for all of the great reviews! As much fun as this is writing for myself, it's even better when others are enjoying it too! I hope to have the next chapter up soon! Any guesses where they're going:):):) **

For the second morning in a row, Katie found herself dragged out of a peaceful sleep by Connor. Only this time, he was much less polite about it. She felt the covers being pulled down and a hand grabbed her wrist before she could react.

"Come on. Ye got ta get up."

"Fuck off, Connor. I'm sleeping in."

He pulled harder on her wrist. "It's important."

Katie opened her eyes then and sat up quickly. "Is someone hurt?"

"No, but it's still important."

She looked at his expression for a moment and saw little humor there. A chill went through her. What the fuck was going on? Nodding, she threw off the rest of her covers and allowed him to pull her out of her room and down the short hallway.

Murphy and Da were already seated and barely looked up as she came in. They were both staring at the television. Connor shoved her towards the middle of the couch and she found herself sitting next to Murphy who finally glanced at her. He didn't smile either. All three men's attention turned back to the television.

Sighing, she wrapped her arms across her chest, suddenly missing the warmth of her bed. She felt Murphy lean away from her suddenly and his arm came back up from the side of the couch with a blanket. He handed it to her without a word.

"Thanks, sunshine." She grinned but he didn't give her a smile back. She shivered again and unfolded the blanket quickly. The commercial ended and the news came back on. Katie rolled her eyes. "Please don't tell me you woke me up for the weather report."

"Shh. Watch."

She turned her eyes to the screen. In unison, the two brothers both tucked both ends of the blanket on either side of her, but Katie barely noticed as she stared at the face that had become so familiar to her only six weeks ago.

'_Reports came out this morning that Janie Fertitta, relation of the infamous Fertitta family of New York, was found alive late last night here in Boston after being taken hostage from a New York alley nearly six weeks ago.'_ Katie stared and her eyes widened at the suddenly serious looking reporter. She gasped quietly when a pale but smiling Janie was shown on screen.

_'You've been through a lot in the last six weeks, haven't you, Janie?'_

_'It was tough. I missed my family and I was terrified all the time.' _There was a close-up on the now crying Janie.

_'How were you treated? Were you alone or were there other hostages too?'_

_'I was alone, the whole time. They were rude but they never hurt me. About a week ago, they moved me from this old warehouse to a nice room in a mansion. Their treatment of me improved around then too. I can only guess they figured out how important I was then.'_

The screen shot froze then and shrunk to become a small box over the anchor woman's right shoulder. _'Miss Fertitta is now resting comfortably at home after being held for observation overnight at St. Cecilia's Medical Center. The representative for the rest of the Fertitta family could not be reached for further comment.'_

Katie watched in silence as the reporter smiled and moved on to other news. Her heart was racing and she clenched her fists, happy to be able to hide them under the blanket. She didn't want the guys to know how much she'd been affected by it. If they knew, she might be asked questions she didn't know answers to yet.

She ignored the three sets of eyes on her. Throwing the blanket off her, she got to her feet and moved quickly out to the kitchen. It was only after she'd poured herself a cup of coffee that she turned to face them. They all three looked away then and tried to pretend like they hadn't been watching her. She sighed and reached for the Tylenol on the top of the fridge.

"She was lying, wasn't she?" Connor took the lead on the questioning, as usual. Katie found some humor in that but still couldn't quite smile.

"I don't know. She might not remember me."

"That's not the only thing she lied about, was it Katie?" He turned his eyes back to her and she met his gaze straight on. Silent for a moment, she finally looked away. Taking a drink of her coffee, she shook her head. He sighed. "Okay. Did they ever hurt either of you two?"

She pursed her lips. "She wasn't lying about that. They never hurt her."

"What about you, Katie?" Murphy spoke up then and she felt her eyes drawn to him. He was staring down at his hands.

"Once." She sighed then held her hand up as all three of the men stiffened. _Fucking Irish chivalry. _"But kicking that guy in the balls was still worth it."

Connor and Da both gave her small grins but Murphy still stared down at his hands. Sighing, she moved back to the couch feeling more relaxed than she had five minutes ago. She sank into the cushions and pulled her knees to her chest.

"But she would have been hurt if I hadn't been there. That's the kicker of it. She couldn't keep her damn mouth shut. Fortunately for her, I'm fairly accomplished at talking down angry men."

"She'll get her day, Katie." Murphy reached over and squeezed his hand on her shoulder before standing up.

"Aye, that she will." Da added in a gruff tone. She gave him a small smile.

"We're leaving for Mass soon if ye want to join us." Murphy nodded at her and left the room before she could respond.

She found herself staring ahead at the now muted television. Connor leaned forward into her line of vision. "If yer gonna join us, ye better go get ready."

Moving her eyes to him, she shook her head slightly. "I don't think so. I think I might go back to bed." She leaned forward and set her now empty mug on the coffee table.

"I'm not leavin' ye behind if yer gonna mope, Katie." Da pointed his morning cigar at her. She gave him a small smile.

"Not, I'm not talented enough to mope and sleep at the same time. Sleep wins out this time." She reached up and ruffled Connor's hair as she passed. "Thanks for waking me up, _again_."

"My pleasure."

"I'm sure." She forced a smile and walked back to her bedroom. It was only after closing the door that she allowed to feel the emotions she'd been holding back.

_That fucking Italian princess bitch! _ Katie clenched her fists. She forced herself to take a deep breath. She'd fucking risked her life for that girl. She'd gotten kidnapped because of that girl. _I met the McManuses because of that girl._ Taking another deep breath, Katie felt some of the anger fade away at that thought, leaving her feeling drained instead. Murphy was right. She'd get her day.

Stretching her mouth in yawn, Katie got back into her bed and huddled underneath the covers. The tiredness returned quickly and for once she was able to shut off her brain and fall asleep quickly.

-----------------------

Three hours later, she woke up and wandered out to the living room to find both McManus brothers sitting at the kitchen table with their backs to her. She watched them for a moment, realizing how much sights like this cheered her up. They were talking quietly and completely unaware of her presence.

"Saints above, I found me two purified catholic boys. Why whatever shall I do?" Katie spoke from the doorway of the hall. Murphy and Connor looked back at her a little surprised. They both grinned and turned back to the table.

"Then yer eyes deceive ye. I hate to break it to ye, but we didn't confess this morning." Connor chuckled with his back to her.

"Damn, and that was such a good line. And now, it's wasted."

"Ye can try it again later. We'll pretend like we've never heard it." Murphy responded without turning around. She shook her head and walked towards them.

"Not nearly as fun. You won't be able to capture the same shock on your faces."

She moved to the kitchen and grabbed a mug from a high up cupboard. "Coffee?"

"No thanks. Are ye feeling better?" Connor asked a knowing tone in his voice. Katie just grinned.

"Yes, thanks _Da._"

Murphy choked on a laugh. "I thought I was the only one who thought of Conn that way."

"He asks for it with that behavior." Katie turned towards them with a smile but froze as she saw the guns lying on the table in front of them. They both looked up at her reaction. "What the fuck are you two doing?"

"Cleaning our guns, what does it look like?" Connor answered her, but she kept her eyes on the guns. He raised a hand and waved it in front of her face. She glanced up at him quickly but looked back down.

"Ye okay?" Murphy's voice was quiet. She tore her gaze away from the guns and moved past the boys to the couch.

"Can't you do that when I'm not here?" She sat down on the couch carefully, trying to avoid spilling her overly full coffee mug. Gripping the mug tighter, she tried to force her hands to stop shaking.

"Maybe we should teach ye how to use one." Connor turned fully toward her. She looked up but moved her eyes away again as she saw the gun sitting loosely in his palm.

"No."

"So ye are afraid of them, aren't ye?" Murphy spoke up. "It's normal to be afraid of guns. Good even, maybe. But ye won't be this fuckin' afraid if ye learn how to use it."

Katie looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. She realized then that they hadn't just been cleaning their guns randomly. _They fucking planned this!_ Forcing herself not to get angry, she shook her head."Murphy, this isn't something you'll be able to fucking persuade me to do."

He got to his feet and took his gun with him. Setting it on the coffee table, he sat down next to her. Connor exchanged a look with him as they both realized she was staring at the gun on the table. Murphy put a hand on her knee.

"It's just metal and plastic, Katie. If ye learn how to control it, this fear won't control you."

"Give it up." Her voice was tight. "I'm not touching it."

"How about we just show ye how to clean it? Ye don't have to point it anywhere." Connor offered from his seat at the table. She shook her head slightly, her eyes moving side to side as she continued to stare at the gun.

"No."

Murphy reached out and put his hand beneath her chin, forcing her to turn her head and look at him. He leaned close to her and she knew he could feel that her pulse was racing. Fear did that to a person. "Katie. Guns don't kill people. People kill people."

"But I can only fucking remember the guns!" Her voice broke as yelled it. She yanked away from him and felt surprised at the sudden tears in her eyes. Slamming her mug down on the coffee table, she barely felt the hot coffee burn her at first as it jumped over the edge. The pain on the top of her hand finally made her look down and she got to her feet. The room was completely silent as she walked to the sink and ran her hand under the tap water.

She felt the warmth of a body beside her and without needing to look up, she knew it was Murphy. "What happened with the guns, Katie?"

She needed to get away. Turning off the tap, she shoved past him and walked out the front door, slamming it behind her.

-------------------------

The room was silent as she left and Connor watched his brother for a reaction. For a moment there wasn't one. He watched as Murphy suddenly turned and threw his fist into the wood molding of the kitchen wall. Connor saw the crack spread across the dark wood and knew that it had to have hurt his fist. But except for laying his forehead against the wood, there was little reaction from his brother.

Sighing, Connor got to his feet and put his hand on Murphy's shoulder. Murphy didn't look up. "Take her coat when ye check on her. She's got ta be freezing in her pajamas." He moved away and walked back to their room without meeting Connor's eye.

Connor sighed, staring at the doorway where Murphy had disappeared. He was torn between going after Murphy and going after Katie. There was only one right choice. He knew his brother well enough to know he'd be fine. Murphy didn't like feeling helpless, but he'd get through it alone. He'd brood, he'd maybe even break something else, but he'd be fine.

Katie, on the other hand, was a different story. Grabbing her yellow coat from where it lay on Da's chair, he walked out the front door to find her.

She was sitting outside on the stoop closest to the alley, her back resting against the cold brick and her eyes closed. They opened as he sat down on the step right below her. She met his eye and he saw that she was miserable. Silently, he handed her the coat and she slipped it on. Then she leaned forward and reached into his coat pocket, drawing out his pack of cigarettes. He watched with slight humor as she put two in her mouth, lit them both and handed one to him.

"Since when do you smoke?"

"I used to. You two drive me to smoke again." She took a drag and closed her eyes to enjoy it. Than she directed her gaze back at him. "How's Murph?"

"He's Murph. He'll be fine."

"Connor."

"He cracked the wood frame of the kitchen wall."

She frowned. "Is he okay?"

Connor shrugged. "He wasn't exactly up for inspection. Don't worry. He drank a lot of milk as a kid. He'll be fine." The twisting feeling in the pit of his stomach lessened as she smiled slightly at him. She looked away then, but Connor kept his eyes on her, looking for a sign that she might open up and let him in. He took a drag and waited. She crossed an arm over her abdomen and leaned forward, putting her elbow on her knees.

"I was the only witness to my parents' murder." She started and looked upward quickly, forcing herself to take another breath. He could see the beginnings of tears in her eyes but made no movement toward her. If she needed him, she'd let him know.

"I was hiding from Brett in the closet beneath the stairs. I'd stolen his LL Cool J CD and scratched it. Man, he was fucking pissed. They came in through the front door quietly. I didn't…they were dead before I fully realized what was happening, even though I saw it all through the vents in the door." She fell silent again and raised a shaking hand up to put the cigarette in her mouth.

"What did ye see, Katie?"

"Guns. One black and one silver." She stared off over his shoulder. Her words came out slowly and almost as if she was in a daze, re-seeing it all over again. "I know there were people attached to them, but I can't remember them. The hands are the only things I can picture. One of them had long smooth fingers and the other hand had broken skin on the knuckles."

She held her hand that had the cigarette up and traced a finger over her knuckles. Sighing, she dropped her hand back down and took another drag. She made a face and searched around her for some place to put it out. Connor reached out and took it from her, dropping it to twist into the cement step under his boot. She smiled her thanks.

"So, what happened?"

"They got away. I couldn't identify them. Still can't even fucking see them now. They made me look through hundreds of mug shots. Nothing." She smiled, but this time it wasn't a good smile. "And the fucking kicker…I can't seem to get the image of those fucking guns out of my head."

"You said then were mafia hitmen. How did ye figure that out?"

"I didn't. Brett told me later. After he'd gotten into things."

Connor nodded silently. He took a final drag of his cigarette and scraped it underneath his boot. Steepleing his fingertips, he looked up at her. "Katie…if they were mafia hitmen…"

"They were."

"Then they probably would have gotten away with it anyway. It's how the system works. If the system was more likely to fuckin' put them away, we wouldn't be doing what we are doing. We wouldn't be the fuckin' Saints."

"But if I'd recognized them…" She started to argue. He put his hand over hers to stop her.

"You wouldn't be here. You'd be fuckin' dead by now."

"How can you possibly know that?"

"Would you have helped Janie if you'd know she was a Fertitta? If you'd known she was related to those who made the kill order on your parents?"

Katie was silent for a moment as she stared at him.

"Answer honestly, Katie."

She nodded. "Yes. She's my age. There is no way she was involved."

"And that's why ye'd be dead by now if ye'd known. You are able to fuckin' separate blood ties and negligence. They'd have used that humanity in you ta get to ye. They'd have fuckin' chewed ya up and spit ye out." He pointed a finger at her.

Katie nodded and Connor could see the tears were back in her eyes. That was he was surprised when she laughed. A few tears rolled down her cheeks with the movement. He found himself smiling despite seeing her tears.

"You just…" She took a deep breath. "God, you just remind me so much of Brett when you do that."

He sobered up a little. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "No, no. It's good. Really. I miss him. And he'd be happy that you're here to be reasonable for me. God knows I need it sometimes."

"That's me job then. I'll add ye to me list."

"You've got a list?"

"Aye, I do. Well, it was just Murph. But ye can join him on it."

"She can join me on what?"

Connor glanced up and saw Murphy standing halfway through the door, an eyebrow raised. He moved out of the doorway and sat down next to Katie. Connor watched as she instantly reached over and lifted Murphy's hand up to inspect it. He grinned as his brother batted her hands away and moved his hand back to his knee.

"Dammit, Murph. Let me see it."

"It's fuckin' fine. What list is Katie joining me on?"

"The list of people I have ta be reasonable for."

"Aye…and it's just me on there?"

"Well, and Katie now."

"I see." He finally glanced over at Katie. She met his gaze directly. "Sorry for pushing. Ye okay now?"

She nodded. "Yeah, but I can't believe I'm doing this."

Connor saw Murphy look at him but he just shrugged. He had no idea what she meant either. "What are ye doing, Katie?"

Taking a deep breath, she look at Connor first and then at Murphy. "I sick of being afraid. Teach me about guns."

Murphy held up his hand. "Wait. Don't do this because we've fuckin' pushed ye. Ye need ta be fuckin' sure you want it."

"I'm never going to be fucking sure, Murph. But I'm willing to try."

Connor glanced at Murphy who met his gaze and nodded slowly. He nodded back and they both stood up together. "Let's go then."

Katie stood up and pulled her coat tighter around her pajamas. "Now?"

They both nodded. "Aye, no time like the present." Connor smiled at her. She gave him a half smile back.

"Aye." Katie mocked him half-heartedly. He gently cuffed the back of her head and walked past them inside.

Murphy pulled out a cigarette and lit it before looking at her. "Ye sure?"

"Yes." She waited for him to take a drag before she pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and walked inside with it. Putting it to her mouth, she inhaled it herself before handing it back to him.

"Since when do ye fuckin' smoke, Katie?"

"Since I can fucking steal them from you two. Smoking is expensive and I'm poor." She grinned and kept going. He just shook his head and followed her up to the apartment.

"Lunch first. Then I shower. Than we can start 'school'." Katie spoke up as soon as she got inside. She forced herself to not look down at the gun in front of Connor on the table. Connor looked behind her at Murphy before nodding.

"Fine."

"And Murphy's cooking." She grinned and sat down on the arm of one of the chairs. Murphy looked at her surprised.

"Okay." He said after a second. "Reheated pizza and beer it is."

Connor and Katie exchanged amused looks.

"You know, Murph. You have to learn how to actually cook sometime."

"Aye, but only one school a day. Gun school today, cooking school tomorrow."

She smiled at that. "Alright, but I'm holding you to that."

"So what do I get to learn?" Connor raised an eyebrow.

"Give me time, I'm sure I'll think of something." Katie just grinned back at him.

------------------------------

Katie forced herself to take another deep breath. She'd had a beer, three cigarettes, a shower and now a lesson on gun cleaning so far today. Now, she actually held the gun in her sweaty hands. Her heart raced as she tried to concentrate on what Connor was saying without taking her eyes off the gun. The gun that seemed overly similar to the constant image in her head. Her pulse sped up more as she tried to force the image to disappear. _Concentrate on the present. Just a gun. Just plastic and metal._

"Wait, wait, wait." Murphy's voice cut Connor off and Katie looked up at him in surprise. Forcing herself not to move her eyes back down to the gun, she focused on him. She felt she could breathe a little easier as Murphy met her gaze and gave her a small smile before he looked at Connor.

"What, Murph?" Connor asked him, annoyance clear in his voice. Katie couldn't help but grin. It was the third time Murphy had interrupted in that last five minutes. At some point, without speaking, they'd agreed that Connor would teach her and Murphy would just be there for support. But Murphy didn't seem to be completely content with that arrangement.

"She needs to be able to keep her eyes off the gun for longer than a fuckin' second. That needs to be done first before she can do anything of this other stuff yer teachin' her."

Katie automatically looked back down at the gun in her hands, having been reminded of its presence. _Just metal and plastic. People kill people. Guns are just metal and plastic. _ Her hands shook more but she refused to grip the gun any tighter. They were all silent for a second before Connor nodded.

"Alright, ye got a fuckin' point. Katie, take yer eyes off the gun."

She raised her eyes to him but then looked down again with a small smile.

"Yer just fuckin' tryin' to prove him right, aren't ye?" Connor accused her, laughing. She shook her head, laughing a little herself.

"No, I'm not. I swear." To her own ears, her voice sounded a little unsteady but neither of the twins reacted to it. The metal was cold underneath her fingertips and the image came back. _The long finger was pulling the trigger back… _

Murphy reached out and spread his hand over the gun to block it from her vision. She jumped a little at the movement. _Focus on now. Murphy's knuckles. Now. _ Staring down at the broken skin on his knuckles, she then raised an eyebrow at him. "So now you'll let me see your hand. I see how it is."

"Whatever works."

"We could just blindfold her." Connor grinned. She glared at him, her heart speeding up a little. That wouldn't work. She'd still be staring at the gun in her mind.

"You wouldn't dare."

He raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, bad idea."

"Maybe ye just need time ta get used to it."

"Good idea." Katie nodded at Murphy, keeping her eyes back down on the gun. Connor reached over and took the gun from her gently, ignoring her sweaty hands. Her eyes followed the gun to his hands but she could feel a little of the tension leaving her body. His fingers didn't remind her of the fingers in her mind.

"Here, then I'll show ye how to sight. It'll give ye an excuse to stare at the gun." He grinned at her and she laughed softly.

"That I'll take."

"Okay." He pointed a finger to the metal piece that stuck off slight from the top. "See this. That's the sight. If ye look closely, it dips down in the center." He moved the gun closer to her slowly. She nodded and hesitated only slightly before she reached out to trace the indention. Watching Connor out of the corner of her eye, she saw him exchange a smile with Murphy.

"Now, when ye go to shoot it, ye use that to help you figure out where to aim. You line up yer target with it." He lowered the gun and held it out to her. "Wanna try?"

Katie eyed it carefully. Sighing, she reached out to take the gun.

"Relax, Katie."

_Easy for you to say. _She kept her eyes on the shiny metal. "The gun's empty, right?"

"Aye. Just as empty as it was when we told ye that five minutes ago." Murphy told her.

"And fifteen minutes before that." Connor muttered.

"And a half hour ago."

"Okay, okay. I get it." She looked down at it. "So, it's empty, right?" She laughed and ducked as Connor's hand came toward the back of her head. Holding the gun with her left hand, she shook out her right, hoping that would help her nerves. _Just a gun. Not loaded. Control the gun. Just metal and plastic._

She had to admit it. It had gotten easier to hold the gun, but her hands were still shaking as she held it up in front of her and aimed. "What should I sight?"

"Ah…anything. How about the coffee can on the counter?"

Nodding, she leaned down and placed the coffee can between the metal points of the sight. _The finger was pulling the trigger again._ A tremor started up in her hands. They began shaking more and she wasn't able to hold the coffee can between the points. Murphy's hands came out and wrapped around the top and bottom of her grip on the gun.

"Take a deep breath, Katie."

He didn't offer any more advice. She did as he instructed and forced herself to will the nerves away. It worked a little. Glancing up at him quickly, she saw him watching her closely with a concerned look on his face.

_I'm fine. I'll be fine. I have to be fine. He'd let me stop now. _His hands gripped hers tighter as she started shaking again. _I can't stop now. He'd let me chicken out. I have to do this. _Taking another deep breath, she nodded at him and he took his hands away with a sigh. Lining up the sight, she found she was able to concentrate to keep her hands from shaking quite as much. _Just metal and plastic._ The coffee can moved between points but remained in between.

"Now pull the trigger."

The air caught in her throat. Staring at the coffee can, she concentrated and tried to. Her heart beat faster, filling her ears with the steadily growing rhythm. Her hands started shaking again. _Long fingers pulling the trigger. Pull the trigger, Katie. Pull the trigger, dammit! Not loaded. Just metal and plastic. Long fingers… _ The coffee can began to wiggle out of the two points again. A hand reached out again, this time from her left. Connor took the gun from her and set it down on the coffee table.

"We'll leave that bit of the lesson for tomorrow."

"Okay." She nodded and laced her fingers together to stop them from shaking so much. The pounding was still in her ears and she felt a little light headed. Her eyes fell automatically on the gun lying on the coffee table.

Murphy's hand landed on her shoulder. "You deserve a lollypop."

She forced herself to raise her eyes to him. _Concentrate on now. _Again, she focused on Murphy's face. He grinned at her and she couldn't help but smile. "Nice try. You already owe me one, Murph."

"Fine, than you deserve a drink." Connor laughed from the other side. "That's better than a lollypop."

She glanced at him and then back down at the table. A newspaper now covered up the gun. _Taking care of me again. _She relaxed a little and leaned back on the couch. Looking at him again, she shook her head. "Conn, I don't work tonight."

"Exactly. We're goin' out tonight."

"Out? As in some place other than McGinty's or the diner?" Katie grinned as he nodded. "Woo hoo!"

"Ye act like we don't take ye anywhere. Ye were just at the Laundromat the other day…" Murphy moved away as she tried to hit him.

"My mama always said I'd find a man to take me to exotic places…" Katie joked with a horrible southern accent. She felt nearly giddy now that she'd gotten through the lesson. Connor and Murphy just looked at each other and laughed.

"Well, I don't know if it's exotic…"

"Is it an Irish bar?"

"Well, no…"

"Than it's exotic enough for me."

-----------------------------


	12. Chapter 12

The television was still on some James Bond movie, but Katie didn't care enough to actually change it. Murphy had chosen the channel and of course had stopped at the bloodiest movie possible. It'd taken her a good five minutes to talk him into changing it. Blood was not something she could handle at the moment. Of course she couldn't tell him that. She didn't want to give them any more cause to think that she was weak. So instead, she made fun of his choice. Before long, even Murphy decided that the James Bond movie was a better alternative, even if it was just to get her to shut up.

Connor had left to go shower and get ready for the bar. Fifteen minutes later, Murphy got up to shower as well. Now she sat cross-legged, alone and bored out of her mind. The remote was just too far away to reach. It wasn't worth moving to do that. _If I don't have energy now, how the fuck am I going to make it out late tonight?_

Closing her eyes, she put her feet up on the coffee table and leaned back into the couch. She sighed. She was pretty sure she could fall asleep.

"If ye fall asleep Katie, we're leavin' ye home." Connor's voice from above made her open her eyes.

"No, I'm awake." She sat up quickly. She wasn't going to miss out on this mysterious non-Irish place just for a little sleep. Turning her head to fully look at him, she grinned.

"Wow, you clean up nicely, Conn."

He looked down at himself before raising an eyebrow at her. A nicer pair of jeans had replaced his old worn everyday ones and he wore a nice light blue button up shirt.

"Thanks." He grinned. She noticed then that the shirt matched his eyes.

"Wait, what's the necklace?" She stood up and walked over to him. He pulled it out and she leaned in to look. The small sliver Celtic cross hung on a thick silver chain.

"Oh, Ma gave us these the night before we left home. Protection and all."

"Need protection from the girls at this place?"

"We're taking some risks tonight. Protection is always good."

"Risks, huh?" Katie stepped away and looked at him again. "Okay, now I've got to dress up. But I am glad to see you own something that's not black, gray or dark blue."

"Murph's almost ready, Katie. We should get goin' soon."

She grinned and held up her hand. "Five minutes."

The sound of Connor's sigh just made her laugh as she left the room.

* * *

He was tying the laces on his other boot when Murphy came out a little while later and sat down on the couch beside him. Connor looked over and shook his head. Murphy was wearing a very similar button-up shirt in green and the same jeans. Leaning forward, Connor saw something shiny catch the light around Murphy's neck. 

"Ye wearing the fuckin' cross, aren't ye?"

Murphy looked up and just shook his head with a grin as he saw that Connor had the necklace on. "Aye, we're taking some fuckin' risks tonight."

"Maybe we should get Katie one and we can all fuckin' match."

Murphy laughed. "Where is she?"

"She said 'five minutes' a good fuckin' ten minutes ago."

"Christ, ye let her go get ready? We'll never fuckin' get out of here."

"I'm givin' her five more minutes. If she's not fuckin' ready, we're leaving without her."

"Like ye'd really leave her behind. Do ye actually know where we're goin'?"

Connor nodded and checked his watch again. "Yeah. Sara might meet us tonight."

"Might?"

"She didn't know if she could get away."

"She up for inspection?" Murphy grinned and ducked the hand coming at the back of his head.

"Go get Katie. The longer we wait, the harder it'll be to be careful."

* * *

The knock on the door made Katie swear under her breath. She'd been waiting for them to come after her for a while. It was good timing though. She was finally ready. 

"Hold on a sec. Jeez!" She raised her voice as they knocked again. Unplugging the curling iron, she set it in the sink bowl and took one final look in the mirror. She hadn't worn make-up for a while. Finally, she felt completely like her old self again. She certainly wasn't tired now. Grinning, she arranged her hair nicely around her shoulders and opened the door. "Christ, Connor, I-"

Murphy stood there with his hand raised to knock again. They both looked at each other, a little shocked. Forcing herself to ignore her suddenly racing heart, Katie reached up carefully and pulled his necklace out.

"Are you to expecting to need protection tonight?"

He grinned at her and found herself smiling back.

"Connor wanted to get ye a matching one. But ye look nice without it." He placed a hand on her wrist and she let go of the necklace. She wondered if he could feel her pulse racing this time. "Are ye ready now? Me brother's pacing circles."

"Just let me grab my purse."

"Ye have a purse?"

"Yes, Murph. I am a girl. I have a purse." She shook her head with a laugh. Grabbing her purse, she followed him down the hall to find that Connor actually was standing near the door, waiting. He grinned at Katie as she came out.

"Maybe the fifteen minute wait was worth it. Ye clean up nicely yerself, Katie."

"Thank you. Aren't you taking a coat?"

Both boys were heading out the door. Murphy shook his head at her. "No. Leave yours here."

"Isn't it gonna be a cold walk?"

"Trust us. Leave yer coat."

"Okay. But if I freeze, it's your fault."

"Come on." He grabbed her hand and pulled her out into the hallway. Locking the door, Murphy led her down the hall.

"Wait, where's Connor?"

"Outside. Yer slow, Katie."

She smacked him in the arm as she walked past him and he opened the outside door for her. The cold air hit her as they stepped outside. Katie shivered and looked at the cab, surprised. Connor waved at them to get in.

"Meter's running." His accent was gone, making her blink in amazement. _So Murphy's not the only one who can drop his accent._ Shaking her head, she grinned at him as she slid in.

"High class."

"Damn right." Murphy 's lack of accent make her smile more as he slid in from the other side of the cab, sandwiching her in between them. _At least it's warmer._

"So where are we going again?"

"You'll see." Connor leaned forward and gave the driver an address. He nodded.

"Oh yeah, ya mean Pure."

"We're going to a place called Pure?" Katie raised an eyebrow at Connor. He just smiled. "Am I the only one who sees the irony here?"

"Shh. Wait and see."

The rest of the short ride in the cab was silent. Neither of the twins spoke up and Katie wasn't sure whether she should try to start a conversation. She assumed they were avoiding talking so they didn't slip up on the accent.

As the cabbie began to brake, Connor reached over and covered her eyes with his hand. She reached up and put her hand on his wrist.

"What's going on?" Her heart sped up a little.

"Trust us."

She felt the cool air of the outside hit her shoulders as the doors opened on either side. "I'm doing a lot of that today."

Murphy laughed softly from her left side and then she felt his warmth leave. Connor slid away from her on the other side and took her hand to help her out, keeping his other hand over her eyes.

"Step out onto the curb. There ye go." His accent was back as he whispered to her. She used the door to stand up and shivered again as she stepped fully out into the cold air.

"Where are we going?"

"Ye'll see." Murphy's voice came from her other side. She reached out toward his direction and he took her hand. "Ye're okay, Katie."

As they both guided her closer, the steady beat of music became louder. Katie tilted her head, feeling Connor's hand move with her as she tried to figure out what the music was. It certainly sounded exotic.

She laughed as she finally recognized the Caribbean beat. "Where are we?"

"A club called Pure. Sunday night is Caribbean night." Connor took his hand off her eyes, revealing the wildly lit club in front of them. Katie grinned and looked at both of them.

"Okay, now I trust you."

"Now she fuckin' trusts us." Murphy laughed and shook his head at Connor.

"Let's go in now." Connor nodded and started walking.

After getting in, they realized that this was not the type of club that was dead because it was a Sunday night. A line would begin forming at the door at anytime where later arriving patrons would have to wait to get in.

They stopped a little further in and looked around. Connor leaned over to shout near Murphy's ear but Katie couldn't hear it over the music. Murphy then leaned close to talk to her. She caught a hint of cologne as he shouted over the music.

"Go find a table for us. We'll get some drinks."

She grinned and nodded. Turning, she started working her way through the crowd. Near one of the wall was a good bet for her to find something. She was about ten feet away when she spotted a booth. _Score!_ Pushing quickly through, she managed to slide in right before another group tried to claim it. She just grinned and waved at them.

Nearly ten minutes had passed when Katie finally saw the two of them laughing and finding their way near the wall. She waved but neither of them saw her. Amused, she stood up on the booth seat and waved both of her arms to get their attention. Connor saw her first and pointed her out to Murphy. They both just smiled in her direction before continuing their conversation and working their way towards her.

"Very nice. Ye get ta be the official table finder from now on." Connor grinned as he slid in across from her.

"Gee thanks. Do I get paid?"

Murphy set a drink down in front of her. "Here's yer payment." He sat down next to her. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Actually, I believe I already earned this one."

Connor slid the shot in his hand over to her. "Then here's yer fuckin' payment."

She looked down at it and laughed. "I was just teasing."

"But it is for you."

"What is this? Block me in and get me drunk?"

"Aye. Then we get to ask ye embarrassing questions." Murphy laughed as she hit him softly in the arm.

"'tis a good plan." Connor pointed at him before taking a drink of his beer.

"Either that or we can grill Connor's girl about him."

Katie glanced at Murphy. "Connor's girl? Is she meeting us tonight?"

Connor just shrugged. "We'll see. She suggested the place."

"So we're here to meet your girl, huh?"

"Well, that and find Murphy a girl." Connor laughed. Katie glanced over to see Murphy frowning at him. There was a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

_He's not mine, anyhow. _She was a little shocked at the thought. Forcing her disappointment away, she took a drink. Then she smiled at Connor. "So, are you two gonna help me guy hunt tonight, too?"

She felt Murphy turn to look at her but kept her eyes on Connor who just laughed and shook his head. "Yer not picking up a fuckin' guy in a bar, Katie."

"Wait. Murphy can find a girl in a bar. _You_ can find and date a girl you met in a bar; but I can't pick up a guy of my own tonight?"

"Ye don't want to meet a guy in a bar." Connor answered her. Murphy stayed strangely silent. She frowned at Connor.

"Why the fuck not?"

"Guys in bars only want one thing."

"So…you two are here tonight to find one thing?"

"No." Murphy and Connor said in unison. Katie forced herself not to smile at that.

"Oh, so _you_ are different. But every other guy wants only one thing.

Forgive me if I don't believe that."

"If ye want to find a guy, we'll take ye to the fuckin' grocery store."

"Or the Laundromat." Murphy added with a soft laugh.

"We'll find ye a good Martha Stewart type man. One that we can trust with ye."

"So, I have to get your approval on the guy I choose, huh?"

"Aye." Connor grinned. She glared at him.

"Not the right answer, Connor."

Murphy nudged the shot in front of her. "Ignore him. Take yer shot."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you trying to distract me?"

"No, but it'll get warm soon."

"What is it?"

They grinned at each other. "Just try it."

"Name of the shot, please?"

Connor leaned forward. "We have no idea. The bartender made it."

Katie shook her head and lifted it up to sniff it. Murphy started drumming on the table and Connor laughed and joined in. Laughing a little, Katie raised it to them and took the shot. After swallowing it, she coughed and grabbed her drink for a chaser.

"There's fucking whiskey in that." She made a face and brought her hand to her mouth before taking a drink again. Murphy put a hand on her shoulder.

"Are ye gonna make it?"

She just laughed. "I hate whiskey."

"Good ta know." Connor grinned and took a drink of his beer.

"If I answer your question now, will you stop buying me disgusting shots?"

"That just takes the fun out o' it."

"Wait, Murph. I think we should let her answer. Racy job, Katie?" Connor nodded at her.

"Okay then." Katie took another drink before staring down at her glass and smiling. She could feel herself already starting to blush. "I gave a lap dance once."

Both guys burst out laughing and her embarrassment just grew. After a second, she found herself giving into a few nervous giggles.

"What?" Murphy finally choked out at her.

"You heard me." She kept her eyes on the glass.

"Were ye any good at it?" Connor asked.

She smiled then without looking at him. "He seemed to think so."

They continued to laugh but she kept staring at the glass. After a moment, a hand came down and moved her glass. Connor leaned down and grinned at her, forcing her to meet his eyes.

"How did they fuckin' believe ye were the type?"

Closing her eyes, she leaned back in the booth and laughed softly. She looked at the both of them. "Let's just say I got caught in a few lies." Shifting, she leaned against the corner where the booth met the wall so she could look at both of them at the same time. Her knee ended up resting against Murphy's leg. "My turn. What's the story of your tattoos?"

They both looked at each other. "I thought ye were gonna ask us a tough question." Connor raised an eyebrow.

"I don't feel the need to embarrass you two to satisfy my curiosity."

"Oh, come on now Katie. The point wasn't to embarrass you."

"Anyhow. Tattoos?"

The two brothers exchanged another look.

"Okay, we both got the crosses when we were eighteen." Connor rolled up his left sleeve to show her. Katie nodded and leaned down to look at it, although she'd already studied both his and Murphy's crosses without them realizing it.

"Ma was worried we'd forget our religion if when we left for the states." Murphy grinned at Connor, who nodded back.

"So, at the wise old age of 18, we convinced each other that getting these would prove our commitment."

"And did it?" Katie asked before taking another drink.

"Well, it is a constant reminder."

"And these, on our necks…" Murphy shifted in his seat to point at the left side of his neck.

"The Virgin Mary, right?"

He grinned and nodded, putting his hand on her knee for a second. "Not everyone gets that. It's actually got a double meaning."

"Ye see, we had an Aunt Mary. Ma's sister."

"She was very religious and never married."

"Ma jokingly referred to her as our own Virgin Mary." Connor smiled as he spoke, his eyes focused off in the distance.

"She passed on about…" Murphy frowned and tilted his head.

"Four years ago."

He nodded in agreement. "Yeah, four years ago. We got it to remember her. She was a great Aunt."

"A good influence on us."

"That's sweet, guys." She smiled at the both of them. "And the words on your hands?" She pointed at Murphy's right hand.

He glanced down. "Mine means Justice. Connor's means truth."

"We got them a couple years ago."

"Why?"

Connor looked at Murphy for a second before answering. "Moving here was a bit o' a shock to both of us. So much fuckin' crime and violence. Especially in the south side. Those are the principles we leave by."

"Veritas and Aequitas. Good to know." She gave them a small smile. They both looked down at their hands and she laughed softly at their almost identical expressions. She nudged Murphy. "Out. My turn to get drinks."

He slid out and held a hand out to help her out. Grinning, she took it and stood to face them. "Any requests, boys?"

They both held up their beers. Katie laughed and walked away, melting back into the crowd. She came nearly fifteen minutes later, carrying two long necks and a blue tropical drink. The music had gotten even better and she was walking to the beat. She set the drinks on the table and looked at Connor.

"I love this music. Come dance with me!"

He smiled. "Take Murphy. He's a better dancer."

"I can't take him. If I dance with him, he'll never get a girl tonight. It's bad enough he's sitting next to me. It's okay with you, you're already claimed." She moved to the beat where she stood. "Come on. Don't make me dance alone!"

Sighing lightly, Connor laughed and slid out of the booth. He took a quick drink of his beer and followed her out on the dance floor.

* * *

Murphy watched them out on the dance floor, not allowing himself to be jealous of his brother. _It's just Connor. He's like her fuckin' brother. _ His eyes wandered the room but none of the girls appealing enough to him for him to go up to them yet. _Maybe with a few more drinks._

Two songs later, Connor managed to drag a laughing Katie back to the booth. She slid in next to Murphy and smiled at him before downing half of her drink. Murphy reached a hand out to her.

"Ye know that's not water, right?" He laughed as she made a face at him.

"Murph, we're at a bar. Of course it's not water." She took a few more small drinks, draining the blue liquid. He watched her with a grin. "Next drink. I'll be back."

"Go easy, Katie. We're not dragging ye home." Connor gave her a serious look as she stood up. She just grinned at him and shook her head.

"I don't get to go out often, guys. I'm not planning on getting drunk. I know how much I can handle." With another look, she walked away from the booth.

Murphy kept an eye on her as she went through the crowd and turned to completely look at her when she was stopped by a blonde man. They talked for a moment and then they were headed out to the dance floor. Sighing, he turned back to the table. Connor raised an eyebrow at him.

"Are ye keeping an eye on her?"

"Someone's got to."

"Wonder who the guy is."

"Who fuckin' cares? He's not her type."

"Oh, so ye can tell that from here?" Connor smirked at him. "It may not matter if he's her type, Murph. Especially since no one else has a claim on her."

"So what was all that talk about us approving?"

"Murph, I was just tryin' to get a rise outta her. We've barely known her a week. We've got no fuckin' right to restricting her."

"Aye, but does her opinion about Sara matter to ye?"

Connor rubbed his hand along his chin. "Yeah, it does."

"So don't ye think our fuckin' opinion matters ta her too?"

"Ye've got a point, but that doesn't mean it goes both ways. She's been on her fuckin' own long enough. We've got ta let her make her own choices."

Murphy turned his gaze back out to the dance floor. "As long as she's not gonna make a fuckin' bad one."

"Ye need to find yerself a fuckin' hobby, Murph. Or better yet, a girl."

He continued to watch her laugh and dance with the blonde guy. "Aye, maybe yer right. Maybe I do."

* * *

Out on the dance floor with the blonde Ethan, Katie found her gaze kept going back to the table where Connor and Murphy sat, talking and laughing. Ethan didn't seem to notice until she stopped dancing and stared over there. Three tall guys had approached the booth and neither twin looked very happy about it. She moved to go to them but Ethan grabbed her arm. 

"Where are you goin'?"

She gestured to their booth. "They look like they might start fighting."

"They're adults. Mind your own business." He smiled and pulled her arm back in front of him. His hand found their way to her waist and he began pulling her towards him. Katie glared up at him.

"Excuse me." She knocked his hands off of her and turned to go but he grabbed her arm.

"Why are you so fucking worried about them?"

"Let go of me."

"Answer me."

"Because I can be. So go fuck off." She pulled her arm away and walked away this time. As she got down off of the elevated dance floor, open spaces between taller head let her get glimpses of Connor standing up in the booth. Katie pushed through the bodies faster and hurried to them. As she approached, she tried thinking of the best way to break them up.

Forcing herself to look teary eyed, she walked up and wrap her arm around Murphy's arm. Leaning her forehead into on his shoulder, she sniffled.

"He won't stop bothering me." She forced her voice to tremble. His other arm instantly came around her. Looking up at him, she forced herself not to break character when she saw he was buying it too. The look of concern in his eyes nearly made her stop. Winking quickly at him, she turned to Connor and forced more tears out. Letting go of Murphy, she acted like she's just noticed the other three men where there. She brought a hand to her mouth as if she were embarrassed before giving them a weak smile. "Can you excuse us? I-I need to talk to my brothers in private."

The tallest of the three stood in the middle and looked at her for a moment. He reached into his pocket and she could feel both Murphy and Connor tense behind her. Pulling out a ten dollar bill, the man held it out to her with a smile. "Go buy yourself a drink, honey. We have more business with your brothers."

_Well, fuck. That didn't work._ Katie frowned at the three men and stepped slightly closer, crossing her arms over her chest. Murphy's hand gripped her elbow but she pulled her arm away. Then she smiled widely at the three men.

"I'm Katie. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Katie." Connor's voice warned from her right side. She held a hand up to him without looking back. The three men just stared at her without an answer.

"Then I'm afraid your business has been taken care of. Feel free to leave now."

"Get out of our fuckin' way, lady."

"Sorry boys, I suggest you get the fuck away from us. Because there are three fucking bouncers who have suddenly become very interested in this little standoff right here." She just smiled even more when they all three looked around and saw that two of the bouncers had begun to move forward.

"We're not fuckin' done here." The man in the middle pointed a large scarred finger at them. The men then turned and walked away.

Sighing, Katie turned around to find both Connor and Murphy giving her angry looks. She rolled her eyes at him before glancing behind her. Two of the three bouncers were still watching them.

"Sit the fuck down before they feel the need to break up this fight."

"What the fuck was that, Katie?" Connor crossed his arms and leaned over her. At one point she might have found this intimidating. Now, it just irritated her.

"Sit. Then you can yell at me."

He glared at her for a second before sliding into the booth and pulling out a pack of cigarettes. She turned to see Murphy already seated and shaking his head at her. Sliding in next to him, she found herself smiling despite their looks.

"I told you. I'm good at talking angry men down."

"Don't ever fuckin' step in front of us like that again, Katie." Connor took an angry drag from his cigarette and glared at her through the smoke. She just shook her head at him.

"Don't fucking start with me, Connor. Did you two even think about what you were about to do?" They both looked at her without responding. "Fuck. This isn't fucking McGinty's. You get in a fight here, they call the fucking police."

Murphy and Connor exchanged quick looks before turning back to her. Connor relaxed slightly and leaned back. He continued to give her a hard look. "That was fuckin' stupid on yer part. Even if ye meant well."

"Stupid to stop you?"

"Katie, ye don't step between angry men when they're about ta fight." Murphy sounded more frustrated than angry. "Ye could have gotten fuckin' hurt."

"Well, in this case, I'd say that trumps you two getting arrested. Don't fight outside of McGinty's. Problem fuckin' solved. Isn't that how that goes, Murph?" She slid out of the booth then. "I'm gonna go get that drink now."

* * *

Connor watched as Murphy quickly slid out to follow her. He caught up with her about midway to the bar. After a moment of gesturing and talking, his brother pulled a smiling Katie out on the dance floor. 

Leaning back in the booth, Connor grinned as he watched them laugh and dance. Apparently, Murphy didn't care about her warning. He hadn't even looked elsewhere for girls all night. _Step one: a success. _Now if only he could get his brother to realize what he already did. Katie might just be perfect for him.

Connor let his eye wander around the bar again, and sighed when he still didn't see Sara. She'd said she might not get away in time to get there. The club was packed by this point, so he knew there would be little chance she'd be able to find he anyway.

Pulling out his cell phone, he checked again. He hadn't missed her call either. Looking back out at the dance floor, Connor took another drink of his beer. Only one night without her so far. _Christ, and I already miss her._

* * *

"Connor lied, you aren't a better dancer." Katie laughed as Murphy purposely danced off beat. He grinned at her but didn't stop. The song ended and the music turned to a slower dance beat. Couples around them started slow dancing, catching her attention. She didn't look Murphy in the eye. "Let's go sit down." 

He grabbed her arm as she started walking away. "I'm better at this type of dancing."

She raised an eyebrow at him as he took her right hand in his and put his left at her waist. He moved with her in place before grinning down at her. "Ma forced us to learn formal-type dancing. The waltz. The tango."

Grinning, she finally moved her hand up to his shoulder. "I think I like your Ma more and more every day."

He laughed at her. "And she usually scares most girls off."

"I only talked to her once. She didn't really try."

"She may not with you."

Katie laughed. "She doesn't have a reason. I'm not a threat to her sons." Murphy didn't comment on that.

"So, who was the blonde guy?"

"An idiot. And I thought you were girl hunting tonight."

"Yeah, well. I heard girls at a bar only want one thing." He smiled as she laughed at him.

"Not all girls. You're safe with me, Murph."

"Oh, good. I was very fuckin' concerned." He looked down at her. "Especially after ye stood up to those big mean men."

Katie squeezed her hand on his shoulder. "Don't start with me."

"I won't. Ye scare me."

She slapped his shoulder. "I mean it."

"Okay. But listen. Seriously, don't step in between us like that again. Please." He turned serious so quickly, she stopped moving for a second. Pressing his hand on her waist, he got her to move again quickly.

"Murph." She started but he interrupted.

"Ye've never seen Connor and me fight. We don't usually give much warning. If ye'd waited a few more minutes, ye might have stepped right in the way. We don't want ye getting hurt because of us."

"And if I hadn't, you'd have been arrested. Did you think of what that would do to Da? To me? I would have stepped in the middle even if you'd already started fighting if I could ensure you'd not be arrested."

He moved his eyes down to just over her shoulder and nodded. "Aye, yer right. Thank ye. And we'll not fuckin' fight in a place like this. But keep what I said in mind too."

She nodded her agreement. The music sped up again as the song ended. Katie stepped away from him but Murphy kept a hold on her hand. She shook her head at him. She no longer felt like dancing.

"Let's go sit down." He nodded towards the booth and she let him lead her off the dance floor. About halfway across, she pulled her hand from his grip and crossed her arms over her chest.

It hadn't hit her until she'd said it out there. They could have been arrested. She could have lost them that easily. And likely, Da would have been found too. Their connection to Smecker might have been uncovered. _It all could be gone that quickly._ A shiver went down her spine and she quickly caught up to Murphy.

She reached out to touch his arm, needing some kind of connection with him. Her eyes scanned the room around them and fell on a table of dark haired men halfway across the room. One of them looked directly at her before quickly looking away. She shivered again, feeling as if an ice cube had landed in her stomach.

They were mafia. That much was clear to her. And the one had been watching her. She found herself glancing at them again when she heard her name being called.

"Katie." Murphy's voice was close to her ear and she felt him put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him quickly and saw that both he and Connor were watching her. "What's wrong?"

"What?"

"You've lost the color in yer face, Katie." Connor slid out of the booth and stepped toward her. She slipped past him, grabbing her purse and Murphy's cell phone from the table.

"We've got to get out of here."

"Why? Hey, what's goin' on?" Connor grabbed her elbow as she moved past him again, away from the booth.

She stepped forward, standing closely enough to both Connor and Murphy to speak softly. "There are some mobsters here. One was watching me. We need to leave now."

"Separate or together?" Murphy glanced at Connor. Connor looked around the room quickly.

"There could be more outside."

"That's what I was fuckin' thinkin'."

"Separate, then. Meet in the alley to the left of the front door." He let go of her elbow. Glancing at them both quickly. "Be careful."

She watched him disappear into the even larger crowd. Looking up at Murphy, she nodded to him. "Your turn."

He just shook his head. "I'm not leaving ye in here with the fuckin' mobsters."

"Good point. Please don't leave me in here with the fuckin' mobsters." She gave a half laugh. Reaching out, she put his cell phone into his hand. She then stepped closer and he wrinkled his forehead at her.

"What are ye doin'? Get going."

"I'm making it look like I'm saying goodbye." She put a hand on his shoulder and surprised them both when she lightly kissed his cheek. His arm slipped around her waist and he put a kiss at her temple.

"Ye've said goodnight. Now go, Katie."

She nodded and pulled away. "Thanks. I had fun." She grinned at him and walked off into the crowd. She could feel Murphy's eyes following her as she made her way to the door.

Stepping outside into the even colder air, she wrapped her arms around herself. '_Don't bring yer fuckin' coat Katie.' Great fucking planning, boys. _She stepped away from the club and winced as the wind blew any warmth she had away. Looking to her left, she saw the dark alleyway. _Why does it always have to be a fucking dark alley?_

She squinted against the darkness, but her eyes were slow to adjust. Nothing seemed to be moving. Nothing she could see at least. There was a sound to her right but before she could react, a hand reached out and touched her arm. She pulled away and faced the hand, her heart racing as she backed up a little. The silhouette of the person was barely visible.

"Calm the fuck down, Katie. It's just me." Connor voice was barely above a whisper.

"Dammit, Connor. Did ye have to scare me like that?"

"Sorry, thought ye saw me." He laughed softly. Reaching out, he put his hand on her shoulder before reaching up to mess up her hair. She pulled away and laughed softly. Her eyes adjusted a little more and she was able to see the soft outlines of his face. He turned to look towards the club. "Where's Murph?"

"He made me go first."

"Of course he did." He nodded towards the front end of the alley. "Here he comes."

"Where?" Katie narrowed her eyes and looked for any other silhouettes against the street light.

Connor pointed to the left, near the wall. "He knows not to walk down the middle of the alley."

"You're lucky you even got me to enter the fucking alley, Conn."

"She doesn't like alleys either." Murphy's laugh was soft and right behind her. Katie jumped slightly before turning to look at him. She reached out to smack his arm but he put his hand on her wrist instead.

"And you are just making it so much fucking easier, Murph."

"Come on. Let's get moving out of here then." Connor turned and started leading them away from the club. She hesitated for only a second before taking a deep breath and following him. Murphy's hand reached out and wrapped around her hand. He squeezed it softly.

As they got to the end of the alley, Katie realized they were on some street that wasn't quite as busy. She felt Murphy release her hand but didn't let it bother her. They were out of the alley. That's all that mattered.

Connor glanced at her before looking up and down the street. "Sorry that yer night got ruined."

"It wasn't just my night. And who says it got ruined? What other exotic places are on the list?"

Both twins laughed at her. Murphy shook his head. "How about the apartment? Is that exotic enough for ye?"

"I suppose. I hear the weather there is nice this time of year. Besides, this'll give me a chance to get you two drunk and ask you embarrassing questions." She laughed as they both shook their heads at her.

"We do have a good mixture of liquor left."

"Aye, and still a few more questions ta ask."

Katie stepped out and held her hand up as a cab pulled down the street. She managed to get it to stop. "Your chariot awaits, me boys."

Laughing at her, Connor slid in first, and she waved her arm for Murphy to follow. He shook his head. Sighing, she got in the middle again and felt warmer instantly as Murphy got in beside her. Leaning forward, she told the cabbie their address.

"Actually, now that I think about it…home sounds about as exotic as I can stand." She muttered and relaxed back against the seats, most of the tension gone. _A night out and no one got arrested. Saints above, it was a success._ Barely realizing it, she leaned her head against Murphy's shoulder with her eyes closed. His arm came around her and she fell asleep against the warmth of his shirt in a matter of minutes.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Actually, I just put this up because it's fun to get more attention. :) Okay, that and I want to apologize for the short wait. It was all to bring you higher quality fiction. :) And to make sure I stop embarrassing myself with all of the grammar mistakes. Yeah, that too. Thanks to Rynn for reading over this as my beta...especially after a long weekend! **

It was the pipe smoke that finally woke her up. It started whispering and curling in her dreams until it finally pulled her slowly out of sleep. The smell of it made her smile and she felt something that she'd felt so infrequently during the past couple years. She felt safe.

As her mind woke slowly, her body soon followed. She was curled up on the couch, covered with a thick felt from shoulder to mid-calf. A heavy arm held her to the couch as if the world was tilting and she knew at some point in the night it probably had been. Her hand was trapped between a soft pillow and a warm jean-covered thigh.

At this realization, she opened her eyes and looked up, trying hard not to move too much. She closed her eyes again. She'd fallen asleep with her head in Murphy's lap. It was one of the twin's black felt coats that was covering her. What else had gone on last night? She slid her hand out and rubbed her eyes before opening them again. Her gaze fell on Da who was watching her with a small smile.

"Mornin' lass."

"Morning Da." She kept her voice soft in an attempt to not wake anyone else up.

"They played that question game again with ye, didn't they?"

She just smiled, mostly because she didn't know exactly what they had and hadn't done.

"And did they behave themselves?"

"Course we fuckin' did, Da." Connor's voice was hoarse. Katie looked toward him and nearly laughed. He was draped over the chair as if it had simply been a place where he passed out. "And we weren't even the ones butchering 'Danny Boy' at the top of our lungs at three am."

He winked at Katie. Her eyes widened. She had a slightly wavering memory of that. The arm around her tightened slightly and she looked up to find Murphy grinning down at her.

"And I wouldn't have given that experience up for anything, even if me fuckin' ears still do hurt."

She pinched his outer thigh before laying her head back down. It was strangely comfortable at the moment. Catching Da's eye, she saw that he was grinning. She smiled back and then turned to look at Connor.

"Wasn't it you who was doing the terrible John Wayne impressions?"

He reddened slightly before laughing. "Yeah, and they still beat Murph's attempt at river dancing. 100 Irish and absolutely no fuckin' grace."

"And ye're the next Michael Flatley, huh?"

"Let's just hope we don't have to rely on yer fuckin' dancing skills to feed us someday."

"Okay, while you guys have a fun pissing match, I'm going to find some Tylenol and water." Katie swung her legs down and started to get up. She fell back onto the couch quickly as the world spun again and the pounding in her head increased. She felt Murphy's hand rub her back quick before he stood up.

"Sit. Lightweight." He returned after a second with three bottles of beer. After handing one to Katie he tossed the third to Connor. The boys opened theirs at the same time and took matching swigs. Katie eyed the bottle and then looked back up at Murphy.

"This better be water in this bottle."

"Drink it. You'll feel better, I promise."

"It does help a hangover." Da agreed, knowing that she would believe him over Murphy. Katie opened it, took a drink and then looked at the bottle suspiciously. Her eyes moved back to Murphy.

"Where's the Tylenol?"

"Demanding in the morning."

"Hopefully not crabby all day." Connor added as he reached down into the black bag on the floor and pulled out a small white bottle. "Katie, catch."

The bottle slipped through her hands and hit Murphy in the shoulder.

"Wow, and graceful all week." He grinned at her.

Ignoring him and the laughter, Katie opened the bottle, took two pills out and washed them down with more beer. It was only after she swallowed that she reached out and smacked Murphy in the chest. Connor and Da's laughter filled the room. She laid his coat aside and got to her feet again. This time she felt a little more stable.

"I'm going to go shower."

"Katie, we were just teasing ya. Don't be mad." As usual it was Connor who was apologizing. Knowing she was more grumpy than mad, she scrubbed her hand over her face before looking back at them.

"I'm not." She sighed. "I just have a headache and I feel all achy for some reason."

"Must have been that orgy at the bar." Murphy barely had time to duck before the pill bottle hit the wall next to his head.

"Murphy! Someday she'll do more than throw stuff at ye for that." Katie heard Da scold as she made her way down the hallway.

"And today might just be the day." Connor's laugh was the last thing she heard before she shut the bathroom door.

* * *

A half hour later she finally wandered out to the living room again to find that neither twin had moved. Da wasn't in sight. Grinning, she shook her head at them and poured herself a cup of coffee before sitting down in Da's chair. A Western was on the television. _Connor's turn._ She just smiled and picked up the newspaper on the floor. It was only after she'd gotten all settled that both Murphy and Connor looked at her.

"What are yer plans today, Katie?" Murphy threw a balled up piece of paper at the newspaper, hitting it in the middle and making it fold over. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Do you need some fucking attention or something?"

Connor laughed softly. "How about another lesson today?"

She shook her head and pulled the newspaper back up. "No, thanks."

"Come on. Ye did fine yesterday. Ye'll be better off if we keep goin' with it."

Lowering the newspaper, she glared at Connor. "No."

"Katie, we're bored. Let us teach ye." Murphy just smiled as she turned her gaze to him.

"If you're bored, than ya need a fucking hobby."

"Christ, how many times a day do I need ta hear that?" He leaned back and put feet up on the coffee table. Katie set the newspaper down completely this time and grinned.

"You need a hobby, Murphy." She then looked at Connor. "And either you need a hobby or you need to bring your girlfriend over for us to torture."

Connor just shook his head. "And you need another fuckin' lesson. Otherwise, it'll be as bad as startin' over."

"No." Picking up the newspaper and her coffee, Katie got out of the chair and walked to the table. Both Connor and Murphy were quiet. When she looked over a few minutes later, she realized they'd both left the living room.

Shrugging, she turned her attention back to the paper. Maybe there'd be some mention of Janie again. She had the paper completely spread out on the kitchen table and was leaning over it when Da came in the front door. Looking up at him surprised, she smiled slightly at the bakery box in his hands.

"Oh, doughnuts! Thanks, Da."

He gave her a small smile. "We're out o' milk. Had ta get some, so I thought these sounded good, too." Putting them on the table in front of her, he opened the box. "Grab what ye want. Ye'll have no chance ta once the boys realize I got them."

Nodding, she studied the contents of the box before taking two different ones out. "Again, thanks!"

"So are ye ready for another lesson today?"

Katie froze mid-bite and looked at him. She shook her head and chewed quickly. "I'm not doing it, Da."

He frowned at her, looking surprised. "Katie, if it wasn't important, they wouldn't ask ye ta do it."

"They don't know what they're asking me to do."

"Aye, maybe. But wouldn't ye feel better if ye did it?"

"I've lived with this fear for eight years. I'll survive."

"Maybe if ye face it, ye'll be able ta see more than hands n' guns."

She stared up at him for a moment, speechless. "They fucking tell you everything, don't they?"

"They tell me the important stuff."

Katie looked back down at the doughnut in her hand before setting it down. She concentrated on the glaze on her fingertips, scratching it off with her fingernail.

"What if I can't do it, Da?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. His hand covered both of hers and she looked up at him. He looked at her for a long moment.

"Ye can, Katie. And ye will."

Drawing in a deep breath, she nodded slowly. "Okay."

* * *

The gun sat in front of her on the coffee table and she leaned back to get further away from it. Da had suggested a place where they could show her how to shoot the gun. She didn't want to back out but also still really didn't want to go. Da was right. She could do this. _What if he's wrong?_ _What if I still can't pull the damn trigger?_

"Are you glaring at the gun pretending it's me? Or is it enough that it's a gun?" Murphy's voice was soft and she realized he'd been able to sit down in the chair next to her without her noticing.

"Both." She tried to smile but couldn't. He reached over and put his hand on her knee. She looked down at it and smiled.

"Is that the way you comfort all the women you know?"

He wrinkled his forehead. "What?"

She nodded down at his hand.

"Oh. Well, I'm not exactly in the habit of comforting many women. Does it work?"

She covered his hand with her own. "Strangely enough, yeah it does."

"Good."

"You two ready to go?" Connor called down the hallway. Murphy slid his gaze back to Katie who hesitated only slightly before she nodded.

"We're ready."

* * *

Katie walked slightly behind the two, taking in the sights as they neared the shabbier end of the south side. They seemed deep in casual conversation and understood that she wanted to be left alone for the moment. However, every few minutes or so either Connor or Murphy would look back followed immediately by the other's head turning to join them. She gave up giving confident smiles after the first few times. Now she just concentrated on not running in the opposite direction.

_Not ready. Not ready. Not ready. Not ready._ The little voice in the back of her mind had started chanting more than a few blocks back. Its rhythm seemed to perfectly match her racing heart. She ignored it and distracted herself by keeping her eyes trained on the boys.

She hadn't admitted it to them, but it took her more than an hour to realize they were brothers, that they were twins. Their resemblance wasn't apparent right away. She'd mistaken them for close friends, nothing more. But now, as she watched them joke around ahead of her, she wondered how she could have ever thought otherwise.

Their movements while unique were also similar, as if they'd developed them together. They each tilted their head towards the other as they talked, as if to give that much more attention. Murphy talked more with his hands and Connor more with his shoulder and facial expressions. While there was a slight difference of height, their stride was the same. Each pushed off their right foot and turned on the ball of their feet the same exact way.

Even their temperaments resembled each other. While Murphy tended to raise his voice sooner, he simply built up to the full temper level in the same amount of time it took Connor to just snap. Katie knew that Connor was only partially right when he said that they balanced each out. Connor was the calm before the storm type of threat, giving only a second's warning before he unleashed his anger on you. But Murphy wasn't all temper and no threat. In fact, Katie had begun to wonder if Murphy wasn't just as much, if not a little more of a threat than Connor. Murphy was more like the soft spring storm that steadily increased into an all-out thunderstorm. The type of thunderstorm that killed people because they didn't head its softer warnings. People underestimated his anger thinking they'd seen it all when he lost his temper, not realizing that he was only getting started.

Both of them were more of a threat than they let on. And she realized that's why she was still willing to face her fears. If they felt it was still necessary for her to have a gun, even while she was under their protection, then she would do what she could. It's the least she could do.

When she looked up again, she realized they were watching her and waiting for her. Connor nodded to the large building on the left.

"In here." He called and she nodded. Jogging quickly, she caught up to them and followed them into the building. The building became steadily cooler as they got further inside. It was then that she began to notice the coolers and freezers that lined the walkway. They were in some sort of a meat industry building.

"We used ta work here." Murphy turned to look at her. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"So what are we doing here now?"

"It's yer new classroom." He smiled down at her. "With the doors closed it's virtually soundproof. And no one will bother us here."

"That's why we had you bring your coat." Connor added and then opened another door to his right. He led them in and Katie instantly saw the chunks of meat hanging from hooks in the ceiling. Her eyes widened.

"Is that what I'll be aiming for?"

"Aye, this is all of the meat that's getting bad. Too old ta sell. They'll be throwing it out as soon as they get a large enough load. That's why we figured it'd be the best place. No fuckin' reason to look for bullets." Murphy reached inside his coat and pulled out the gun. She looked away and took a deep breath. _Just metal and plastic. Control the gun. _

Holding out her hand, she felt him set the weight of the gun fully on her outstretched palm. Her fingers curled around it instantly, almost as if it were familiar to them. She didn't want it to be familiar. Looking down, she brought the gun to her other shaking hand. _People kill people. Guns are just plastic and metal._

"Now, take as much time as ye need here. We've got all day."

"Connor, no offense but I don't want to spend all day at your old work place."

"Neither do we." He answered with a laugh from his seat a few feet away. Murphy had stayed right beside her and didn't seem likely to move anytime soon.

She lifted up the gun so that it was closer to her face to get a better look at it. _Control the gun._ Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Murphy's hand reached halfway out as if he was ready to grab it to keep her from point it the wrong way. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Don't worry. I'm not about to inspect the firing end." _Take it; I don't want to have it at all._

His mouth twisted into a slight smile and he moved his hand away. She saw him bring his thumb up to his mouth again and knew he was chewing on it. So, she wasn't the only one nervous. That was good to know.

"Is it loaded?" She could feel her hands start to shake and she tried to hold her arms stiffer to stop it.

"Aye. Are ye okay?" Murphy's voice was right beside her, but she didn't look at him. She'd look at him only when she needed it.

"So, which am I shooting?" She worked hard to hide the nerves but knew her voice shook slightly anyway. Murphy leaned in closer and pointed towards the large one straight across from her.

"That looks like a good one."

She forced a grin and glanced at him. "You mean a bad one."

"What?"

"Well, if I'm learning from you two, I can only learn to shoot bad meat. Meat that has crossed over into the…how was that again…greater forms of filth?" She ignored the shaking in her voice.

Connor laughed while Murphy just shook his head with a smile. Katie felt the tightness in her chest fade a little as she looked at them.

"What? Think I don't read newspapers?"

"Fine, shoot the fuckin' bad meat in the center."

She took a shaky breath and brought the gun to her other hand out in front of her. _Fingers wrapping around the trigger._ Katie looked down at her hands, trying to replace the image with the view of her own hands on the gun. Murphy reached over and adjusted her hands slightly.

"There ye go. Just wrap your left hand right below the right hand. Try to hold your hands steadier."

"Murph, they are as steady as they are going to get. Can I just shoot the damn thing now?" Her heart was speeding up, and she could barely hear his answer.

"Are you ready?"

She nodded.

"Go ahead."

Forcing herself to inhale and then exhale again, Katie tried to get rid of her nerves. Will them away. _Fucking plastic and metal. MY fingers wrapped around the gun. Not his. My fucking gun. In my control. _ She sighted the meat in front of her as Connor had instructed her to do. _Plastic and metal, in my control. _She took another breath, closed her eyes and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. She could hear the blood rushing past her eardrums as she looked at Murphy and was shocked to find him laughing.

"What the fuck, Murphy. Is this even fucking loaded? This isn't funny!"

"Murphy!" Connor warned but Katie could hear the laughter in his voice.

"It was an accident, I swear. Really, I'm sorry!" He choked out and then reached over to point at the side of the gun. Katie felt the lightheaded feeling come back as she stared at him in disbelief. She fought the anger she felt. "We forgot about the safety."

"The fucking safety was on?"

"Yeah, slide that over and you should be fine."

"No. Fuck. This was a bad idea. I want to go home." She forced the gun into Murphy's open hand and turned to move away. Blinking quickly, she fought the tears that were threatening.

"Katie, wait." He grabbed her arm to stop her. She paused but didn't turn to face him.

"Katie, you'll feel better once ye've done it." Connor said quietly.

"Yeah, all of this nervous energy ye've got right now will leave once ye've tried it." Murphy added. She forced herself to take a deep breath and pulled her arm away from him. Rubbing her hands over her face quickly, she concentrated on breathing.

She was quiet for a moment before turning and holding a shaking hand out to Murphy. He gave the gun back to her and waited for her to line up her shot.

"Safety." His voice reminded her softly. She nodded and slid it over with a click. _Plastic and metal._ Her heart was pounded so loudly she swore she could hear the echoes throughout the metal building. The boys were completely silent and she wished they had something else to concentrate on. But she knew they weren't going to leave her alone to do this. It was too dangerous and it was too important.

Forcing a deep breath, she steeled her nerves and pulled the trigger. Jumping slightly at the sound, she kept her eyes on the now moving piece of meat. She held still and waited. _My control._

Murphy touched her shoulder. "Breathe."

She hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath. She let it out shakily and only then was she able to tear her eyes away from her target. Connor stood up and motioned to her gun with a grin.

"Put the safety back on." He walked over toward the hanging meat and began to look for the bullet. Murphy caught her eye and gave her a smile.

"Keep breathing, ye did fine."

"Nothing bad happened."

He frowned. "No, did ye expect something bad to happen?"

She was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, I guess I did."

Murphy reached over and put his arm around her, squeezing her shoulders gently. "Maybe that's just another part of the fear than."

"She's a pretty good shot." Connor's voice floated down toward them and Katie looked up. He laughed and pointed at the small bullet hole in the middle of the meat.

"Hey, maybe with some training you could be a sharpshooter." Murphy commented. Katie just laughed.

"Or an assassin." Connor said with a smile.

"Or maybe I'll just find some nice employment without any guns needed."

"That's true. They don't have much use for guns in the psychology world, do they?"

"Let's do it again. You still feeling nervous?" Murphy moved his arm off her shoulder and rubbed his hands together to warm them. She smiled slightly.

"Not as nervous."

"Go ahead and empty the barrel. There should only be five left anyhow."

Nodding, she raised the gun and then caught herself before pulling the trigger. With a smile, she flipped the safety off and raised the gun again. _Definitely in my control now. _ She squeezed the trigger five more times, working on flinching less with each one. After a brief hesitation, she lowered the gun and grinned at Murphy and then Connor.

"Congrats Annie Oakley, you've just killed a piece of meat." Murphy laughed as he took the gun from her hands. She smiled and looked back at the meat which looked a little less whole than it had been. She could still tell that the gun they had her shooting wasn't a very powerful one. She looked over and saw that Murphy had opened the barrel and was looking inside. He flipped it back into the gun and handed it back to her before nodding at Connor.

Connor got to his feet and stepped out to a point that was halfway between Katie and the hanging meat. She tilted her head and gave him a confused look.

"What are you doing?"

"Point the gun at me, Katie."

Her eyes widened. "What?"

"Ye heard him." Murphy's voice was quiet.

"No. Why?" The tightness was back in her chest. _No fucking way._

"Just do it." Murphy stepped closer to her. She shook her head.

"No. Fuck this. No."

"If ye can't point a gun at a person, how can you expect to shoot one?" Connor called down at her. Katie wouldn't look at him. She glanced at Murphy instead. Seeing his face wouldn't calm her anymore. _Fuck._

"It's not just a fucking person, it's Connor."

"And the gun is empty. Remember, I checked. He's in no danger."

"No. This has gone too far. Fuck you both." She threw the gun down at Murphy's feet and left the room quickly.

* * *

The room was silent for a moment after she'd slammed the door shut.

"Well, if nothing else at least I know she wouldn't ever shoot me." Connor sighed and moved started back to where she had stood. Murphy shot a glance his way.

"We did that the wrong fuckin' way."

"Aye, maybe." Connor answered and reached down to pick up the gun.

"It's too fuckin' soon."

"No, it's not. The sooner she can use a gun the better."

"We were fuckin' out of line, Connor." Murphy raised his voice. Connor just looked at him. Murphy glared at him.

"I'm not going to fuckin' fight with ye over this, Murphy." Connor yelled and then motioned toward the door. "If ye want to burn off energy, I suggest ye go make sure she's still waiting."

"Fuck!" Murphy turned sharply and started out the door.

"Murph, just remember those three little words. _Just like Rocco._ Ye think it's a coincidence that she keeps seeing mobsters everywhere? Just like fuckin' Rocco."

"But she's not just like him."

"Aye, she can already shoot better." Connor tried to smile but found he couldn't. He looked up to see that Murphy didn't even try. Instead, he just shook his head and walked out, leaving Connor feeling even more like an ass.

* * *

Murphy stepped outside and found her waiting further up the block, leaning against a wall with her eyes closed. He watched her for a moment before moving toward her. She turned away as he approached, leaning against her shoulder and laying her head on the cool brick.

"Katie." Murphy whispered, but she shrugged.

"Leave me alone, please."

He turned away from her but then just walked around to stand in front of her. "I'm sorry. We're both sorry."

"Yeah. Well, lesson's fucking over." She reached toward his pocket, but he slapped her hand away gently. Pulling out the cigarettes, he lit two and handed one to her. She took it without looking at him.

The door slammed shut behind them and Murphy turned to see Connor coming toward them. He nodded at Katie but Murphy only offered him a half shrug.

"Let's go." Connor started walking and Murphy glanced at Katie before following. She walked quickly to keep up, staying a few strides behind them again. As he'd done on the way to the meat packing plant, Murphy glanced behind him every minute or so. This time, she didn't offer them any smiles. She didn't even look up to meet his gaze.

* * *

Katie set out a few ashtrays while Doc filled the ice bin again. She'd been at work for nearly an hour already and hadn't said much to him. He kept glancing at her every few minutes, but neither of them spoke up. After pouring the ice in the bin, he set the bucket down and looked at her.

"How'd y-yer lesson g-g-go?"

She looked at him surprised and had to work not to roll her eyes. Did everyone fucking know her business? "It went. How'd you know, Doc?"

"P-p-pat was in here last n-night."

"Pat?"

"C-connor and Murphy's Da."

"Oh, didn't know his name." She gave him a half smile. "I'll go grab a few racks of glasses."

Doc nodded at her and stored the ice bucket under the counter. He double checked the taps as she left.

Katie was halfway through the backroom door when she heard the voices. Someone else was in the bar now. _It's a little too early for customers._ She sighed and prepared to tell them to leave to save Doc the trouble.

"Where the fuck is the girl?" A thickly accent voice asked and Katie heard something glass break. She froze where she was. _They're looking for me._

"G-g-girl? There is no fuckin' girl. G-get the fuck outta me bar!" Da's voice was harder than Katie had ever heard it. "FUCK! ASS!"

"You'd be wise to tell us, old man."

"Ye think I'd hire a-a-a fuckin' girl ta work a-at me b-b-bar?"

There was a moment of silence and Katie reached in her pocket for her phone. She bit her lip when she realized she'd left it up under the bar. _Fuck, if they find it…_She knew Doc would have trouble explaining away the girly phone.

"We'll be back. If you tell anybody, we will kill _them_ too."

She heard Doc gasp quietly and then the slam of the door. Waiting only a second, she carried the glasses out quickly and set them on the counter. Doc looked at her quickly.

"Y-y-ye shouldn't b-be here, K-katie." His voice was pained and he gasped again, pressing his hand to his chest.

"Doc!" She reached out and helped him sit down on the floor. His hand felt around in his jacket pocket before pulling out a small orange prescription bottle.

"M-m-me heart's a-acting up." He swallowed one of the pills and then dropped the closed bottle on the ground.

Katie's hand shook as she pulled out her cell phone and dialed 911. As soon as the operator picked up, she took a deep breath.

"I need an ambulance at McGinty's bar. I think…I think Doc's having a heart attack." She looked over to see that Doc was still breathing heavily and pressing his left hand into his chest.

The door to the bar opened and Katie recognized the man who entered as a regular patron. The man's eyes widened and he ran to kneel beside Doc.

"Your heart giving you trouble again, Doc?" He leaned over and put an arm around the older man's shoulders, pulling him into a better seated position. He then gave Katie a small smile and motioned for her to hand him the phone.

She handed it to him and pressed a shaking hand to her forehead. She felt Doc's hand squeeze her own and she opened her eyes to see him give her a weak smile. His breathing wasn't quite so labored. The medicine was working.

"I'm f-fine, Katie. Tommy knows what ta do."

Nodding, she forced back the tears and listened to Tommy give directions on the phone. She couldn't tell Doc that she'd heard their conversation. And that she was pretty damn sure she knew who the 'them' they would kill was. Once again, her being in Boston was going to be a threat to the Saints.

* * *

Murphy's phone rang, pulling him away from the table where Connor and Sara sat. Reaching into his coat pocket, he glanced back at the table and found himself smiling. She was beautiful, smart and funny, and seemed to already understand Connor so well. For the first time, Murphy couldn't find anything to criticize on the first meeting. _This one might just pass the test. _He couldn't wait to see what Katie thought about her.

Looking at his phone, he was surprised to see Katie's cell on the caller ID.

"Hey."

"Murph." Her voice sounded a little shaky.

He stepped further away from the kitchen table and frowned at the phone. "What's wrong, Katie?"

"You can tell already, huh?"

"Well, ye've never called from work before."

"You didn't tell me Doc had heart problems.'

"Is he okay? What happened?" Murphy froze where he stood, holding his breath for an answer.

"He'll be fine. It was…it was just a scare." Her voice broke then and he could hear her taking a deep breath. Murphy reached out and grabbed his coat from the couch.

"I'm coming. Where are ye now?"

"Still at the bar. Tommy said he'd watch the bar if I wanted to go to the hospital."

"Good, Tommy can keep an eye out. He knows what he's doing."

"Murph." She was so quiet he had to strain to hear her. "Thank you."

"It's not a problem, Katie. Sit down and I'll be there in a few minutes." Murphy flipped his phone shut and then stared at it for a moment.

"What's wrong?" Connor's voice came from right behind him. He turned to find both his brother and Sara slipping their coats on. _More points for the girlfriend._ Dropping his phone into his pocket, he picked his keys up off the coffee table.

"Doc's had a heart attack or something. He's fine but they've taken him to the hospital."

"Tommy's watching the bar?" Connor glanced back at Sara who was watching the two of them.

"Aye. I'm taking Katie to the hospital ta see how he's doin'. She sounds shaken up."

"Take care of 'em, Murph. I'll go help Tommy at the bar."

Sara stepped forward and slipped her hand into Connor's. "If I can stop at my apartment quick, I'll help you. And I'm glad I got to meet you, Murphy." She gave him a small smile.

"I'm sure I'll see ye again soon. Keep an eye on me brother." Murphy smiled back and hurried out the door.

He ran the few blocks to the bar and was surprised to see Katie serving drinks as he walked into McGinty's. She looked up as he came in the door and paused only slightly before giving a smile and a drink back to the customer.

Tommy nodded at Murphy and quickly waved for Katie to go. Murphy watched as she spoke to a few of the patrons at the bar and more than one reached out to pat her hand. She really had found a place for herself there. Grabbing her coat from beneath the bar, she gave him a weak smile and followed him out the door.

As soon as they got outside, Murphy stood and looked at her. She raised a shaking hand to her forehead. Sighing, he put his arms around her and pulled her close. "It's okay now. He's okay."

She put her arms around his waist and pressed her face against his shoulder. "I was so scared."

Brushing his hand down the back of her head, Murphy nodded. "And ye got through it."

"Tommy knew what to do. Doc…he's had this happen before."

"When?" He stopped moving his hand. She shrugged.

"I don't know. But I didn't even know he had fucking heart problems."

"I wonder fuckin' what caused it. He must just be under a lot of stress." Murphy felt her pull away from him and rub a hand over her face. He brushed her hair back and looked at her. "Ye okay?"

She sighed lightly and then nodded. "I'll be fine. Let's get to the hospital. I need to see him."

Nodding, Murphy put his arm over her shoulders, but Katie pulled away. He glanced at her quickly. Her face was set and she stared straight ahead as she walked. _She needs distance._ Slipping his hands into his pockets, he followed closely behind her.

* * *

Connor leaned against the bar and laughed softly at the end of a slurred joke. The regulars were even getting drunk tonight. He reached into his pocket again, checking his cell phone. No missed calls. _That's a good thing. No missed calls means no surprises with Doc. _

A hand covered his and he looked down to see Sara watching him closely. "No news?"

"Aye, but I think that's good."

She nodded at that and slipped her arm through his. "How ya doing?"

Turning to fully look at her, he leaned down and kissed her softly. "Better now that yer here."

"So who is Katie, anyhow?"

"Jealous?" He laughed softly as she raised an eyebrow at him. She flicked his arm with her fingertip before shaking her head with a smile.

"Nah, I trust ya. But still I do want to know more about this girl you're living with."

"She's a friend who needed our help a little while back."

"A friend, huh? A friend of Murphy's?"

Connor grinned at her. "That's a fuckin' work in progress. More a friend o' the family. But she does fuckin' keeps us in line. I think ye'll like her."

"Oh, so I do get to meet her?"

"How about tomorrow night? St. Patty's. We can come here." Connor glanced around the bar again and was pleased to see the crowd was thinning. It was nearing closing time and he'd never had to throw the regulars out to close before. He was hoping they'd all decide to help him out and leave willingly.

"Think it'll be open? What about Doc?"

"I hope he'll be able ta be here. Tommy and I already decided we'd run the bar tomorrow night. St. Patty's is a big night in this part o' town."

"Gee, that's surprising." Sara laughed at him. "It could be an interesting night. I assume you Irish might know how to party?"

"Green beer, shamrocks and all." He winked at her and began to pick up the empties from the bar. "And I might even be able ta get Murphy ta dance for ye."

"Oh, so your brother dances, huh?"

"A regular fuckin' river dancer. Just get enough Hennessey in him…"

Sara threw the rag at him with a grin. "And what do you do, Connor?"

"Me?" He gave her a large smile. "Absolutely nothin'. I'm a fuckin' angel."

Tommy happened to be near Connor and choked back a laugh. "More like a fuckin' saint, ye might say." His voice was low but Connor threw the rag at him, wide-eyed.

"Fuckin' keep that ta yerself." He hissed at him. Connor glanced back and was relieved to find that Sara was distracted by a customer. Turning his head again, he was surprised to find Tommy still watching him.

"Good luck keeping that a secret tomorrow night."

Frowning, Connor turned his attention back to picking up the glasses and bottles. Just how fuckin' long was he going to be able to keep his secret from her? Looking up at her, he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. Somehow, he knew that it wouldn't be nearly long enough.


	14. Chapter 14

Murphy woke to an empty bedroom, and as he wandered out into the living room, he realized the apartment was empty as well. Rubbing his eyes slowly, he looked around again. Still empty. _What the fuck?_

He walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee before leaning against counter. His brain wasn't working yet. And he had no idea where everyone could have gone.

Maybe Katie was still sleeping. She'd seemed exhausted the night before, but still hadn't gone to bed when he finally gave in around three. Setting his mug down on the counter, Murphy moved back to the hallway and knocked softly on her door.

"Katie?" There was no answer. "Katie? Ye awake?" He opened the door slowly, giving her time to react if she was actually in there. The room was silent, and like seemingly every other room in the house, empty. Her bed didn't even look like it'd been slept in. Frowning, he closed the door again as he left. Why would they have left without telling him? Where the fuck could they have gone?

The front door opened as he got into the living room and Connor walked in.

"Where the fuck have ye been?" Murphy glared at him, noticing that his brother seemed only half awake but was fully dressed for the day.

"I walked Katie to the bar. She wanted to get stuff set up for tonight. Morning ta you too." Connor tossed his keys on the table and peeled his jacket off. He grabbed Murphy's mug off the counter and downed the rest of it. Setting it down, he made a face. "Kind of cold."

"That's my fuckin' coffee anyhow. Why did she go down this early?"

"Well, Doc may have been released last night, but she doesn't want him doin' a fuckin' thing."

"It's only ten o'clock in the mornin'." Murphy poured himself some more coffee before walking over and joining Connor on the couch.

"Aye, but she was waitin' and ready to go when I got up." Connor leaned back and closed his eyes. "And I wasn't even ready ta get up. I was just takin' a fuckin' piss and she grabbed me ta walk her there."

"At least she didn't just fuckin' leave."

"She was pretty damn quiet last night." Connor glanced at Murphy who just shrugged.

"She also saw Doc basically have a heart attack last night."

"Maybe. Think she's getting' fuckin' sick of us?"

"Of you maybe. I'm even fuckin' getting' sick of ye." Murphy laughed and tried to keep his coffee from spilling as Connor pushed him over. "Where's Da?"

"Christ, who knows anymore. He's always fuckin' going somewhere. It sounds like he's been at McGinty's a lot lately. Tommy sees him all the fuckin' time." Connor laced his fingers behind his head and relaxed fully into the couch.

"How is Tommy?"

"As fuckin' annoyin' as usual. Nearly told Sara we were the fuckin' Saints last night." Connor frowned as Murphy just looked at him but didn't answer. "What?"

"Sara seems nice. But don't ye think ye better end it before it gets too serious?"

"What the fuck is that supposed ta mean?"

Murphy sat up fully and put his mug on the table before turning fully to look at Connor. "We are the fuckin' Saints. And we'll be workin' again before too long. Maybe even every movin' every few months. Did ye fuckin' think ye'd be able to hold on ta a relationship too?"

"Maybe it's worth a fuckin' try."

"Christ, ye're a fuckin' idiot, Connor. Even if she's okay with ye being a fuckin' vigilante Saint, what makes ye think she's gonna fuckin' wait around for ye?" Murphy pushed off the couch and grabbed his mug off the coffee table. He felt Connor watching him as he crossed the room. They were both silent for a moment.

"Then maybe I won't make her fuckin' wait for me." Connor's voice was low and Murphy turned to find his brother watching him closely. "Maybe I'm done with bein' a Saint, Murph."

Murphy felt his stomach drop and he stared at Connor. _He's gonna fuckin' leave me behind._ "Ye've got ta be fuckin' joking."

Connor rubbed his hand along his chin before he raised his eyes to meet Murphy's again. "I might just have a fuckin' chance ta be happy, Murph. Maybe if ye'd open yer fuckin' eyes, ye would have one too."

"What the fuck is that supposed ta mean?"

Pressing his lips together, Connor sat up fully and crossed his arms over his chest. "Ye can't tell me this is how ye want ta live the rest of yer fuckin' life. Hiding from the cops. Moving every few months. Unable to make a real fuckin' connection with someone who is not one of us."

"It's our fuckin' duty, Connor. Or did ye forget that?" Murphy mirrored his brother's actions by crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the counter.

"Aye, it's our duty. But I can't believe this is all that God has in store for us. An empty life of killin'."

Murphy narrowed his eyes at him. "But we fuckin' keep goin' until we are told otherwise."

"Maybe we are bein' told otherwise."

"What the fuck are ye talkin' about?"

"We've been so fuckin' alone the past year. After Rocco, we didn't fuckin' let anyone in. And nobody cared enough to even fuckin' try. Until now. Now we've both met someone who wants in to our lives. If that's not a fuckin' sign, I don't know what is." Connor pressed his fingertips together almost as if in prayer and tapped his fingers against his lips.

Murphy sighed and stood up away from the counter. He rinsed his mug out before turning back to Connor. "You've got someone, Connor. Not us."

"You've got Katie, Murph. Just open yer fuckin' eyes."

"It's not like that."

"What are ye fuckin' afraid of? She knows about us and understands it. I can only hope that Sara will be the same. And what's more, she fuckin' cares about ye, Murphy. What the fuck more are ye waitin' for?"

Staring at Connor for a minute, Murphy knew he couldn't deny it. His brother knew him too well. And somehow he'd figured out Murphy's dilemma with Katie. Sighing, he rubbed a hand over his face before walking through the living room to the hallway without a word. Connor leaned forward as he walked by.

"What wrong, Murph?"

Murphy stopped at the hall doorway and glanced back at his brother. "Just like fuckin' Rocco, Connor. I can't lose her too." _Especially now that I might be losing you. _He walked through the doorway then, hoping a shower might take a way the sick feeling in his stomach.

* * *

Katie curled up on her bed and closed her eyes, willing sleep to come. Connor was right. She needed to get some rest if she was going to make it through the night. Especially if she was going to need to force herself to smile to get through it.

She thought going to the bar in the morning would help her. Help her understand what was going on. And to help her decide what she needed to do. Instead, all it had done was exhaust her further. Doc was there but not up to his normal energy, of course. For once he'd been content to let her do the work while he sat at the bar. And he hadn't mentioned the men who'd been looking for her. He'd chosen to make sure the McManuses were safe instead of giving her warning, and she knew she shouldn't feel betrayed at that. _They are like his family._ And he had been warned not to tell anybody. She'd even been too bothered by it to tell anyone either.

Tommy showed up at noon and Doc had ordered for Katie to go home. And as she'd grabbed her coat to leave, she watched the two interact and knew that Tommy belonged back in his old job again. She had simply been a short-term replacement for him.

Even both Murphy and Connor seemed more than willing to leave her alone when she got back to the apartment. Besides asking her how Doc was, Murphy had stared intently at the morning paper. And even after she'd taken a seat on the couch next to Connor, he'd only really spoken to her to tell her to get some sleep.

Rolling over in her bed, Katie pressed her palms against her eyes. She forced back a sob and concentrated on breathing deeply. _I've got no right to fucking feel sorry for myself. I was lucky they let me in for this long._ A few tears managed to get out and rolled down her cheeks, wetting the pillow beneath her. She pressed her lips together tightly and breathed deeply through her nose. She couldn't keep doing it. She was tired. She was emotional and she would be stupid to make decisions based on how she felt right now. _It's just been so great so far. But how much longer can it go on this way? _

She focused on her breathing again, allowing the tears to fall freely. Within a few minutes, she was asleep.

A knock on her bedroom door woke her up later and she sat up groggily. "Come in?" Rubbing her hands over her eyes, she blinked quickly. Murphy peeked his head around the corner at her. She raised an eyebrow at him when she saw that he had his cell phone up to his ear.

"Yeah, Ma. She's awake. Of course I had ta fuckin' wake her up. Ye said ye wanted ta talk to her." He moved over to the bed and Katie moved her feet so that he could sit next to her. She ran a hand through her hair as she watched him, somewhat confused.

"Yes, Mother." Murphy rolled his eyes at her and nodded. "Alright, Ma. She's right here." He held out the phone to her. "It's Ma. She wanted ta say Happy St. Patty's day."

Katie smiled slightly and took the phone, holding to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hi there, Katie dear. How are ye doin'?"

"I'm fine, Mrs. McManus. You?"

"Please, call me Ma. Everybody else me boys know seem ta."

Katie laughed and turned sideways on her bed, facing the same direction as Murphy. "Okay, Ma. Is this your annual St. Patrick's day prank call?"

Ma let out a few loud laughs through the phone. "Ah, so me boys told ye about that one. But no, not this year. Couldn't think of a good enough prank for 'em."

"Ah, I see. There's always next year. So you were just checking on your boys."

"Are ye taking care of them fer me?"

"I'm trying to." Katie glanced at Murphy who just smiled back. "It's not the easiest job in the world."

"No, it never is with the men ye love, m'dear."

"Umm…I guess not."

"Katie, I've heard from both me boys that ye've been having a rough time there."

Katie sighed lightly. "Yeah, it's seems like everyone has heard something about that lately." She could feel Murphy fidgeting beside her. He was chewing on his thumb again.

Ma laughed softly this time. "Me boys have their own way of helping their friends. Let 'em take care of ye, Katie. They've been worried 'bout ye."

"And I, them. Things are complicated, Ma."

"Things worthwhile always are." Ma responded and after a moment Katie realized they weren't talking about the same thing. She frowned slightly.

"I suppose you're right." She said finally, unsure of how else to respond.

"Well, I'd better go now, Katie. They're expecting me down at the Anvil soon. Their Uncle Sibeal needs help at the bar this year."

"Okay, Ma. Want to talk to Murph again quick?"

"Aye, hand him over. Take care, Katie dear."

"You too, Ma. Bye." Katie shook her head with a smile and handed the phone over to Murphy again.

"Okay, Ma. You go easy on the drinkin' tonight, too. Aye, I'll tell him. No fightin' this year, I promise." Murphy laughed softly and rubbed the back of his head. "Okay. Love ye, Ma. Bye."

He hung up the phone and looked at it for a moment before he raised his eyes to Katie again. She gave him a small smile. "You've got a good Ma, Murph."

"Did it work?"

"Did what work?"

"Well," He looked down at the phone again and brushed his thumb across the screen. "Connor and I thought ye seemed a bit…down. And Ma seemed ta like ye so well when she talked to ye before. So, we thought that maybe if ye talked with her…"

"I'd feel better?" Katie finished for him. He glanced up at her again and nodded slightly.

"Yeah."

She smiled. "I do. Thanks." She sighed and slid off the bed. "What time is it, anyhow?"

"Nearly four."

"Shit. I gotta get to the bar. Why'd you let me sleep this long?"

Murphy put his hand on her shoulder. "Calm down. Connor went down there not too long after you went to sleep."

She sighed and looked at him. "But it's my job. I'm supposed to be there."

"Don't worry. Tommy's there. He used to work there. He knows what he's fuckin' doing." Murphy looked at her again and frowned at her, taking a step closer. Katie only realized she was crying again when he reached up and wiped a tear away.

"Oh for Christ's sake." She muttered and wiped at her eyes quickly.

"What's wrong, Katie?"

She closed her eyes. "Nothing. I'm just tired."

"Since when does being fuckin' tired make ye cry? What's goin' on?"

Turning away from him, she began looking in her dresser. She knew she had a green sweater in there somewhere. His hand touched her shoulder.

"Ye got upset when I mentioned Tommy. Why?"

"God, Murph. It's nothing. It just seems like he fucking replaced me, that's all." She moved away from his hand and pulled the sweater from the bottom drawer. Turning to him, she waved for him to leave. "I need to change."

"Hold on. What do you mean he replaced ye?" Murphy stood in front of her, leaning down to force her to look at him. She only glanced at him before walking away and setting the sweater on her rumpled bed. Grabbing her shoes, she sat down at started pulling them on.

"Katie?" His voice was quiet and very close. She paused in tying her shoe.

"Look, I came late okay. I get it. You all already had this thing formed."

"What thing?"

"This thing." She motioned with her free hand. "This family. Whatever the fuck you want to call it."

"You mean us and Doc. And Tommy?" Murphy sat down next to her on the bed.

"Yeah, and everyone else you two are so tight with down there. Maybe it's another fucking Irish thing, I don't know."

"Katie, yer not making sense here."

"Well, I don't know how to fucking explain it. And what your Ma said about things worthwhile not being easy."

"Whoa, now what the fuck did Ma say?"

"Nothing, Murphy. Drop it." She sliced at the air with her hand before she went back to tying her shoe. Hearing him sigh lightly, she forced herself to continue to stare at her shoes. They were tied, but she didn't look up. A lump had started to form in her throat. _How can I fucking explain it when I don't even understand it?_

She felt him reach down and his hand gently gripped her chin. He moved her face so she was looking up at him. Meeting her eyes for a second, he moved his hand from her chin and took her hand instead.

"I suppose we are a sort of a family here. Connor and I only had each other when we got here. Doc took fuckin' care o' us. Got us used ta the life here. And Doc and Tommy are close. They've always been, even before we came along. And we care about them both. A lot. But we care about you too. Ye know that, don't ye?"

Katie looked away then but nodded slowly. She rubbed a hand over her face. "I'm being so fucking melodramatic about this. I'm sorry. I really think I'm just overly tired."

She looked up then and found that Murphy was still watching her closely. "But ye were worried about it, weren't ye?"

Shrugging, she started to turn away but he kept a hold on her hand. "I don't know. I just don't want to be in the way. You two had a life before me."

"And we still have a life now." He studied their hands for a moment before looking back up at her again. "I shouldn't have just fuckin' walked away after doin' that the other night."

"The other night? Doing what?"

"This." He raised his hand to her face and slowly leaned in to kiss her. His lips met hers softly. Rubbing his thumb against her cheekbone, he pulled away to look at her. "I'm sorry."

She had laid her hand over his without realizing it. "I thought you'd just done it on impulse. That it'd been a mistake." Her voice was soft. He smiled slightly at that.

"No, the mistake was walkin' away." He kissed her again, this time not pulling away so soon. She put her arm up around him to pull him closer and his arms slipped around her, one tangling in her hair. Katie's heart raced and she felt him lean back again.

He kissed her on the cheek. "Ye better get changed for work."

Laughing softly, she nodded. "Yeah, I guess."

Murphy stood up off her bed and she got up quickly, grabbing his hand. Standing up on her tiptoes, Katie kissed him again. "So, how do we break it to Connor?"

He grinned down at her, brushing hair back from her face. "He mostly already knows."

"Of course. ESP, right? Twin connection and all?"

"Something like that." Murphy shook his head and let go of her hand. "Now change! We're late."

"And that's my fault?" She raised an eyebrow at him. "You let me sleep in."

"Aye, on Connor's orders. I guess we can't be in too much fuckin' trouble then."

She laughed again and watched him shut the door. Resisting the urge to jump up and down, Katie settled for simply smiling and pulling on her sweater. _There'll be plenty of time to celebrate tonight!

* * *

Katie found her eyes wandering as Murphy was talking to another bar regular who had stopped by their booth. Doc hadn't let her help at the bar, instead having Tommy do the bartending. He claimed she should enjoy her first St. Patrick's day in a real Irish pub. Glancing down the bar, she found Connor across the bar, leaning against the counter and talking to a tall blonde._

"Good God, Connor, you've got a girl and you're still flirting?" She muttered and grinned when Murphy gave her a confused look. "Go back to your conversation. I'm just talking to myself."

Instead, he followed her line of vision and saw Connor leaning down toward the girl. "Oh, Sara's here. Good, ye can meet her."

"That's Sara? I'm meeting her tonight? And I'm just learning about this now?"

Murphy laughed. "Well, yeah."

Katie reached over and smacked his arm lightly.

"Hey, what the fuck was for?"

"For not prepping me. I need to have warning, Murph."

"Why?"

"Well, your ma's not here, so I've got to make sure she's good enough for him. You and your Da certainly aren't going to do it."

"What?"

"It's my womanly duty."

He smirked. "And who checked you out then?"

For that he received another slap on the arm. This time he grabbed her hand and held it. "Stop it." He laughed.

"You are just lucky you have a brother smart enough to do that job for you."

He shook his head. "I'm not sure that ye've passed the test yet, Katie. Connor might still need ta check ye out further."

Katie didn't answer. She was staring across the bar again, this time with her jaw slightly dropped. "It couldn't be." Her voice was barely a whisper.

Murphy leaned forward to look at her. "What?" He looked over at Connor again and saw they were coming toward the table. Sara was smiling up at Connor before she looked at their booth. A look of surprise crossed over her face as Murphy watched her.

"Katie?"

"Rosie?"

Katie took her hand from Murphy and slid out of the booth quickly. The girls threw their arms around each other, laughing and talking over one another.

"So you're the one keeping them in line."

"And you're Connor's girl? Oh my God, Rosie!"

Connor raised his eyebrows at Murphy who shrugged in return. He moved over to the table and took a seat opposite of Murphy.

"What the fuck do ye think that is about?"

"I have no fuckin' idea. She didn't say, just froze and jumped out of the booth."

Katie pulled away and faced them and Murphy was shocked to see tears running down her face.

"What's wrong?" He asked and slid out toward her. She shook her head and grabbed the Sara's hand.

"Connor, you have good taste. This is my roommate from college, Rosie."

He grinned at them. "Katie, yer all mixed up. This is Sara, not Rosie."

Sara laughed and looked over at Katie. "Katie is the only one who still calls me Rosie. It's my middle name."

"We had four Sara's on our floor freshman year. This is Sara Rose. So I started calling her Rosie to make things easier." Katie grinned back at her. "But I suppose I can call you Sara now."

"Rosie, huh? Maybe ye better stick with that. Connor has a thing for girls named Rosie, right Connor?" Murphy laughed as Connor made a face at him.

"Don't even fuckin' start that, Murphy."

Sara grinned. "I think its story time." She sat down next to Connor in the booth and waved her hand for Murphy to continue.

"We'll save that story for later. I'd better keep the fuckin' peace tonight."

Sara nodded. "Okay, that works. But how do you know Katie?"

The three exchanged glances. Katie finally laughed a little and shrugged.

"We just kind of ran into each other."

"I think this calls for another round." Murphy jumped up and came back quickly with four green beers. Katie slid into the booth first and Murphy sat on the edge.

"To reunions." Connor raised his glass with a smile.

"To reunions!" They all drank and both Katie and Sara made a face.

"I haven't had beer this bad since…well, hell probably since that huge party Peter had." Sara laughed and winked at Katie. She rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Oh, Christ…I forgot about that night." She took another sip. She looked at the boys and grinned. "My younger brother Peter decided that he would celebrate his academy graduation with a party at our house. That was quite an experience. How many guys from the academy were there?"

"Way too many. I'll never forget the look on Brett's face when he came home and found us all drunk on cheap beer."

Katie gave a small smile and slid her finger down her glass, making marks on the condensation. "Yeah, that was the last party we had. He attempted to ground us both for two weeks and forbid us to ever have a party at the house again. I was nearly twenty-two and he tried to fucking ground me. But it worked for that moment. I don't know if we ever would have tried to have another party…but we didn't get a chance to try before…"

"Oh, Katie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

Katie just laughed softly and shook her head, not meeting anyone's eyes. "That was a great party though."

"So your brother graduated from an academy?" Connor spoke up, breaking the tension. She looked up at him gratefully.

"She didn't tell you? Her brother's a great police officer. Just made detective last year. One of the youngest in his precinct."

Murphy choked on his drink and Katie reached over and smacked him on the back.

"No, I didn't tell them. Didn't think about it, I guess."

"Yeah, didn't he just transfer to a New York precinct?"

Katie looked up at her in surprise. "What?"

"Yeah, I saw him about a month and a half ago. He said he was transferring to a Manhattan precinct, I think. Don't you talk to him anymore?"

Katie stared down at her beer in silence. A month and a half. She'd been gone for nearly two. He'd transferred there after she'd disappeared. "No, Sara. I haven't talked to him in about two years. Ever since…"

"Ever since you made a career change?"

"How did you know about that?"

"Katie, he called me roughly a year ago wondering if I'd heard from you. But we'd already lost contact, too. I'm glad to see you are out of that line of work now. But why are you in Boston?"

Katie paused for a moment before giving a small smile. "Business trip that went sour. I didn't want to go back home yet. Besides, these two are keeping me entertained enough."

"And the entertainment hasn't begun yet. It's Saint Paddy's day, we gotta get caught up now!" Murphy smiled. "Connor said he'd buy us shots."

"Murph!"

"Cheapskate." Katie grinned at him. Connor sighed and nodded to Sara.

"Let me get out. I'll go get shots."

"I'll come with. After that beer, I don't trust your taste in shots."

"Murphy got the beer. Ye can't tell me you're mixing us up already. I should have kept ye away from me twin a little longer."

Sara just laughed and grabbed his hand, pulling him away from the booth. Murphy leaned closer to Katie, noticing she was still staring at her glass.

"How many other hot friends do you have?"

She laughed. "None that you get to meet."

"Good, now just keep smiling. It's supposed to be a night of fun."

"Yeah, well, it's turning into a night of surprises."

"Good ones."

"Good and bad ones. He's in New York, Murph. Probably been looking for me for two months now. And I never ended up contacting him to tell him I was okay. What kind of a sister does that make me?"

He put his arm around her and kissed her temple. "One who has had it rough for the last two months."

"I just didn't know he'd been keeping tabs on me."

"Yeah, we've noticed that you're kind of oblivious to that stuff."

She laughed and leaned closer to him. "You're too good for me." She gave him a soft kiss and smiled at his look of surprise. "I'll be right back."

He turned back to his beer with a smile as she left, not noticing that Sara had slid in across from him. "So what's going on with Katie, Murph?"

His head snapped up and he frowned at her. "What?"

"You've really fallen for her, haven't you?"

He stared at Sara for a minute and then slowly smiled. "I don't know. How did ye-?"

"Katie's…complicated. I know that better than anyone else. And I've never seen someone so…good for her." She leaned forward so Connor couldn't hear as he approached. "But if you hurt her, so help me God…"

Murphy nodded with a small smile and was a little relieved to see Connor with a small tray of drinks.

"Shots and drinks all around. Doc was getting sick of us making trips, so he suggested we get two this time." Connor looked up and tilted his head. "Where's Katie?"

"Right here." She walked up and slid in next to Murphy, who placed his arm around her right away. He glanced at her profile for a minute.

"What did you get us, Conn?"

"Southern Ireland shots for the girls and, well…Doc wouldn't tell me what these two were for us."

"Dare we trust him?"

"Scared?" Connor laughed, and Murphy gave him a grin.

"Never."

"What's in a Southern Ireland shot?"Sara raised an eyebrow at Connor who just shrugged and grinned.

"No idea. Sounded fitting."

"Okay, you are so not allowed to get shots anymore either." She pointed at him before exchanging a grin with Katie.

Katie leaned over and sniffed Murphy's shot. A slow smile spread across her face. "Okay, let's drink up."

"You know what it is, don't you?" He narrowed his eyes at her.

"Yup. On three, ready?" She counted down and they all took their shots. The guys both cringed and drained their left over beers as a chaser.

"I fell for that one too once. But only once." Katie started laughed when she saw the identical expressions on their faces.

"Three Wiseman, huh?"

Katie nodded and both she and Sara laughed harder.

"Well, I think it's time for them to try the Blue Wave then."

"Maybe later." Connor cut in with a small smile. "I'm not feeling too trusting of either of you at the moment."

"Wuss."

"Damn right."

* * *

Katie found herself cornered by Sara nearly an hour later. She crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at her old friend. "What?"

"How'd you really meet them, Katie?"

"I already told you. Right place, right time sort of thing."

Sara nodded slowly at her, continuing to look her straight in the eye. "How'd you end up in Boston? Are you still fucking working with the mob?"

Sighing, Katie glanced past Sara and saw both brothers were talking to Doc at the bar. "Know anything about Janie Fertitta?"

"Yeah, that's all over the freaking news."

"Well, she lied. She wasn't alone. They grabbed me from New York with her."

"Fuck, Katie. What happened?" Sara leaned closer to her, looking concerned. Katie gave her a small smile and waved her hand.

"I'm fine. Conn, Murph and their Da just happened to be in the right place at the right time."

Sara turned to watch the boys at the counter this time, strangely silent. She raised a hand to her mouth and shook her head slightly before turning back to Katie. _She fucking knows._ Katie bit her lip and waited for Sara to speak.

"The warehouse. They've connected it to Janie. The warehouse where the five mobsters were found dead. And where there was evidence of hostages. Connor and Murphy weren't just walking down the fucking right street, Katie. Christ."

Katie put her hands on Sara's shoulders and looked at her closely. "Sara, listen to me. They only did what they felt was right."

"They are the fucking Saints, aren't they?" Sara's green eyes shifted up to look at Katie. She nodded slightly. Sara closed her eyes. "Fuck."

"Connor's gonna kill me for telling you."

Sara held up her hand. "No, don't worry. I won't let him know I know. I…I just need to think about this before I talk to him about it."

Katie glanced back at the bar. "He's going to tell you soon. It's important. And I think you're important to him."

"I barely know the guy. We've only been dating for less than a week."

"Yeah, and I've only known them for a little longer than a week. But I feel like I've known them forever. And I can tell that you mean something to him." Katie smiled at her. Sara nodded slowly. "Just wait until you talk to their Ma. Then you'll see what I mean."

"What? Their Ma?" Sara's eyes widened, but Katie's attention had returned to where the boys stood near the bar. She'd seen them tense up from across the room. Two other guys had started fighting near them and both Connor and Murphy exchanged glances before moving forward.

"God dammit." Katie muttered and moved closer. She'd told them she wouldn't break up any fight in McGinty's. _Fuck._ As she stepped closer, though, she realized neither McManus twin was throwing any punches. At nearly the same time, they gripped the other two men and pulled them apart. Katie winced when she saw a fist connect with the side of Murphy's head.

"They always play bouncer here?" Sara's voice came from right behind her. Katie shrugged.

"I've never seen them do this."

"Take the fuckin' fight outside!" Murphy yelled as he pushed the man he was still holding toward the door.

"It's too fuckin' early for this shit." Connor let go of his man. He moved to stand next to Murphy and they watched the two stumble out the door. As soon as the heavy door slammed shut, they turned back to the bar as if nothing had happened.

Rolling her eyes, Katie pushed through the crowd to get to them. "You two can't just have a boring night, can you?"

Murphy and Connor looked at her with matching grins. Connor's eyes moved past her and she knew that Sara had followed her over. Katie watched them out of the corner of her eye and was pleased to see Sara only hesitate slightly before putting her arm around Connor's waist.

"What are ye grinnin' about?" Murphy's whisper near her ear made her look up at him again. He raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing. What are ye buying me?"

"Wait, I'm the one who just got fuckin' hit. I think you should buy me a drink." He laughed as she sat up on the stool to get a better look at him.

"You got hit in a fight you stepped into, Murph." She raised her fingers to his jaw line, where a slight bruise looked like it might form.

"Yeah, but I should be rewarded for not startin' a fuckin' fight."

Laughing softly, she turned to Tommy who was watching them with a grin. "A beer for him. I'll take a screwdriver." She pulled out a ten and slapped it on the counter. Murphy picked it up and gave it back to her.

"I was just fuckin' jokin'."

"But you've been such good little boy. You deserve a free beer." She patted the side of his face lightly. He grabbed her hand and held it in his.

"Aye, but yer money's not good here on St. Patty's day. Irishmen tradition."

Tommy set the drinks down in front of them before she could respond. "They're on the house. Doc's orders."

"Cool. Thanks Tommy." Katie grinned. Murphy pulled on her hand and led her back to the booth again. Setting his drink down, he grabbed the remaining drink from the last round on the table and downed it. Setting the glass back down, he laughed as she crossed her arms and glared at him.

"That was my drink!"

"Ye've got another one now." He pointed at her screwdriver. "Don't leave it ta fuckin' sit there and I won't have to drink it. It was warm."

"Maybe I wanted both of them."

He raised an eyebrow at her and dodged her hand as she tried to hit him. "What was it anyhow?" He made a face.

"Don't know. Connor picked it out. Your brother sucks a picking out drinks."

"And that's why we fuckin' stick ta beer. Christ, that has a bitter aftertaste." Murphy took her screwdriver from her and took a quick drink.

"Murphy. I'm gonna kill you."

"What did he do now?" Connor grinned at her as he slid into the booth.

"He's being Murphy. Enough said." She grabbed her drink from him and pushed him toward the booth. "Now behave."

Murphy just smiled up at her and Kate found herself smiling back despite herself.

* * *

Listening halfway to the conversation between Connor and Sara, Katie found her attention kept being drawn away by various drunken antics around her. The Irish really did party on St. Patty's day.

Two of the men on the stools near the bar were getting steadily louder, arguing with each other. She grinned as Doc moved down from his seat behind the bar and leaned down to talk to them. After getting a few laughs, he moved away from the two men and they turned back to the counter, no longer arguing.

A hand waved near her face and she looked up to find Sara grinning at her. "You two got quiet."

"Oh, sorry. I was watching people." Katie smiled back and glanced at Murphy, surprised to find him staring down at his drink.

"We'll get some more drinks. Want anything?"

Katie shrugged then held up her glass. "Another screwdriver." She looked at Murphy who shook his head in response. "Thanks."

Connor slid out after Sara, smiling quickly at Katie. She drained the last of her glass before turning fully to Murphy. "What's up?"

"Nothing." He gave her a small smile but didn't look back down at his drink this time.

"Don't tell me you're tired already."

"Maybe. Don't fuckin' know really." He laughed softly then knocked over his empty bottle with his hand as he reached for it. "Fuck."

Katie grabbed the bottle and set it closer to her. "You okay, Murph?" She looked closer at him.

"Christ, I feel fuckin' drunk already."

"How much have you had?"

"Not nearly enough ta be drunk."

Katie slid out of the booth. "I'll get you some water. Maybe I'll get Connor, too."

He slid out after her but teetered on his feet. Sitting back down, he missed the booth and ended up on the floor leaning against the seat of the booth. Katie crouched down in front of him quickly.

"Murph? Look at me."

He raised his head to her. Reaching out, she put her hands on his face. He didn't feel warm.

"I'll be okay. Just gimme a second…" He rubbed his hands over his face, then pulled them away and stared at them. "Fuck, I am drunk."

Katie's hands shook as she got to her feet quickly and searched the room for Connor. _There's something fucking wrong here._ She found him up at the bar and he happened to glance over at that moment. His eyes landed on Murphy and he set the drink down. He hurried over with Sara not far behind.

"What the fuck's goin' on?" Connor crouched in front of Murphy and looked closely at him. "What's wrong, Murph?"

"He says he feels drunk." Katie bit her lip and moved to kneel in front of him too.

"Murphy, how much have ye fuckin' had ta drink?" Connor reached out and put his hand on Murphy's forehead. Murphy shook his head.

"About as much as you have. I'm fuckin' fine." He waved Connor's hand away and tried to stand up. Connor caught him as he swayed and helped his brother sit down. He then looked at Katie and shook his head.

"This isn't right. Murphy's not a fuckin' quiet drunk. He usually won't shut up. Ye can tell he's drunk two drinks before he gets there." Connor stepped forward slightly then ran his hand through his hair. He looked at her again. "Has he had anything weird ta drink?"

"Weird? He's only had beer and that shot." She put her hand on Murphy's shoulder and glanced behind him at the table. Her eyes landed on the glass he'd pushed all the way to the far side. "And one of mine."

"So he's had what, five or six drinks? Murphy's not a fuckin' lightweight drinker."

"No, I'm fuckin' not." Murphy's words were slightly slurred. Katie looked down at him, her heart racing. _What was going on?_ He looked up at her but focused his eyes at some point over her shoulder.

"Fuck." Sara's voice came from behind him and both Connor and Katie turned to see that she was kneeling on the other side of the both. She looked seriously at Katie. "Remember, Gwen's 21st birthday?"

"Yeah," Katie answered slowly. "What about it?" Then her eyes widened. "Annie."

"Yeah." Sara held up a coaster in her hand. Connor shook his head.

"What are ye two talkin' about?"

The two girls ignored him as Katie reached out and grabbed the coaster from Sara. "What is this?"

"I bought them after all that happened. Never really used them, but I've always carried a few to the bar with me. They let you test your drinks, Katie."

"Oh my God." She stared down at the coaster. Connor stepped closer to her and looked down.

"What the fuck is this? What is goin' on, Katie?" He took the coaster away from her. Katie put a hand over her mouth.

"That circle on the coaster turns green if your drink has been drugged." Sara stepped out of the booth and put her hand on Connor's arm. "Murphy drank a drink with something in it."

"What the fuck was in it?"

"Roofies, probably. Possibly something similar. That's what it tests for. That means he'll be fine. He just won't remember anything from tonight, most likely."

Katie looked down at Murphy and squeezed his shoulder. He looked up and gave her a small smile before taking her hand and holding it between his. She forced herself to take a deep breath.

"So someone fuckin' drugged his drink?" Connor turned around and looked around the bar. "Why the fuck would they do that?"

"It was my drink." Katie's voice could barely be heard over the loud laughter and talking around them. "He drank my fuckin' drink."

"I'll go tell Doc we're leaving." Sara nodded at them and walked toward the bar.

Connor put his hand on Katie's shoulder. He glanced at Murphy before looking at her. "Its okay, Katie. Let's just get him home."

She nodded and pulled her hand away from Murphy. Connor reached down and put his arm around his waist, pulling his brother's arm over his shoulder. He got Murphy to his feet and managed to keep him from swaying too much.

Connor gave Katie a small smile as they both steered Murphy toward the door. "Let's hope we can find a fuckin' cab."

She nodded slightly and just looked at Murphy. Sara opened the door for them and they made their way out of the bar.

* * *

The cab pulled away as Connor worked to keep Murphy upright. He was acting even more intoxicated than he had been when they'd left the bar. Now, as Katie held open the apartment door, Connor has having trouble making him keep moving.

"Connor, put him in my room." Katie's voice was low, almost as if she was afraid of waking Murphy. Connor frowned at her.

"No, I'll keep an eye on him. He can have his own bed."

"Where is Sara going to sleep than?"

He moved his gaze to Sara who shook her head. "No, I'm gonna just go home."

Frowning, Connor shifted his hold on Murphy and nodded at Katie. "Okay. Lead the way."

Katie pulled back the covers on her bed and together, she and Connor got Murphy onto the bed. She knelt down and began working his shoes off. Connor watched her try to work the laces with her shaking hands for a moment before he crouched down beside her.

"Here. Let me do it. I'm more practiced at taking the shoes off a drunken Murphy." He gave her a small smile and began to untie the shoes. Hearing her sigh, Connor looked over at her. She was watching Murphy. "He'll be fine, Katie. If you need me, come get me."

She stood up with him and walked him to her bedroom door. "Goodnight, Connor."

Nodding, he turned away and was relieved to find Sara still out in the living room. She'd sat down on the couch and was staring at the far wall.

"Why don't ye stay tonight?" He rested his head on the door jam of the hallway and looked down at her. She shifted onto the couch to look up at him.

"You have enough to take care of here, Connor."

"Aye, but I really don't want ye goin' home tonight. I'd feel better knowin' ye're here and safe." Connor moved away from the door way and sat down beside her on the couch. She leaned against him and he put his arm around her.

"He'll be okay, Conn."

He was quiet for a moment. "I know. I'm just not used ta seein' him like that. Even when he's drunk he's still completely Murphy."

Sara sat up a little more to look at him. She put her hand on the side of his head and kissed his softly. "And he'll be Murphy again in the morning. I promise."

Smiling a little, he leaned his forehead against hers for a moment. "Ye're good at makin' me feel better. Ye better stick around for my sake."

She laughed and put her head on his shoulder. "Stuff like this happen often?"

"More then ye might think."

Taking his other hand into hers, she traced the outline of his fingers. "Why would someone drug Katie's drink?"

"It might have been someone who didn't even know her."

"But you don't think so."

He shook his head. "Too unlikely. Too many other things have happened."

"Is it connected to her kidnapping?"

Connor tensed and looked down at her. "What do you know about that?"

"She told me tonight. I cornered her and forced it out of her." Sara sat up fully and faced him. She held tightly onto his hand. "I know who you guys are."

He stared at her for a moment before looking down at their hands. "And what is the verdict, Sara?"

"I'm still here, aren't I?"

Leaning down, he kissed her. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not walking away." He slipped his arm around her again and she rested back against him with a smile.

* * *

_This is all my fault._ Katie watched Murphy sleep from the doorway. It was nearly morning and he still sleep soundly. And she hadn't been able to sleep all night. She set her coat down and moved to the bed, sitting down beside him. His hand came up to sit at her waist and she looked down at him quickly.

"Murph?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. Was he awake? His eyes remained closed and as she watched him breathe, she realized he was still sleeping. Sighing, she studied his face. He looked so much younger asleep. So much sweeter.

Katie could feel the tears coming and was helpless to stop them. _It was my fuckin' drink, Murph. You were drugged by my drink. _Covering her mouth with her hand, she closed her eyes.

Whoever it was, was after her, not the McManuses. And she knew it would be only so long before they found her. _Why bring them down with me?_ It was simply once she realized it. She had to leave. It was no longer about her feelings. It was about their safety. And their freedom.

Taking a deep breath, Katie looked down at Murphy again. She brushed the stray hairs off his forehead.

"I may have only known you for a week, Murphy. But somewhere in there, I fell in love with you. I only wish I could…I'm so sorry." She kept her voice low and watched him carefully. He continued to sleep.

Forcing herself to stand up, she set his hand gently back by his side. She walked to the door and picked up her backpack. Looking back at him, she felt numb.

"Bye, Murphy McManus."

Opening the door quietly, she didn't allow herself to look back a final time. She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw the living room was empty. Laying her note on the kitchen table, she took her key off of her ring and set it on the note. With one final look, Katie walked out of the apartment and shut it softly behind her.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Many apologies for the last ending. :) That was just the perfect end to the chapter. But I have plenty more chapters planned, so that should tell you something about Katie leaving. And yes, Penscratch, you are right, it was necessary for the story even if you didn't like it. :) The story is listed as drama/angst...it's about time I start living up to that genre choice! (cue evil laughter) Murphy and Connor humor can only go so far storyline wise...(despite how long we'd be willing to continue to read it just to 'listen' to them. :) Thanks for all the reviews and double thanks to Rynn for reading this chapter so quickly right after getting done with the last chapter! **

_Murph! _Connor sat up quickly in his bed and breathed a sigh of relief when he realized he was awake. Murphy's death had just been a dream. The same dream that had plagued him for months after Rocco had been shot. The same dream he still hadn't told Murphy about. A hand touched his shoulder and Connor turned his head to find a half-asleep but concerned Sara watching him.

He smiled slightly as he remembered that she had crawled into his bed in the middle of the night, leaving Murphy's bed abandoned. She put her hand on the side of his face. "You okay, Connor?"

Nodding, he turned his head and kissed the palm of her hand. "I'm fine."

"Bad dream." It was a statement, not a question but he nodded anyway.

"Aye. Sorry I woke ye." He pushed the covers back and stepped over her legs to get out of the bed. "Go back ta sleep."

Sara shook her head and sat up, putting her feet on the floor. "I'm awake. You check on them. I'll go make some coffee."

She got to her feet and kissed him on the cheek before moving past him and out the door. Connor watched her leave with a smile. She looked good in just his t-shirt.

Yawning, he trudged out of his room and down the hall to Katie's door. He knocked lightly but opened the door without waiting for a response. Connor smiled when he saw that Murphy was awake, sitting on the side of the bed. Their eyes met and Connor grinned fully.

"Ye awake?"

Murphy nodded slightly. "Me fuckin' head is killin' me."

"I imagine it is." Connor moved into the room and rubbed his hand over his brother's head, messing his hair up further. The brief contact made him feel better. Murphy was alive and he was awake. Realizing Katie wasn't in the room, he looked around. "Where's Katie?"

Shrugging, Murphy glanced around the room and then up at Connor quickly. "Why am I in her bed?"

"What's the last thing ye remember, Murph?"

He narrowed his eyes and rubbed a hand over his temple. "What the fuck happened last night?"

"Let's start with what ye remember."

"Katie and I came ta the bar late. She and Sara knew each other." Murphy squinted up at Connor, who nodded. "I feel like I have fuckin' cotton in my head."

"Do ye remember the fight?"

"We got in a fight?"

Connor sighed. "No, we broke one up."

"What the fuck is goin' on, Connor? I didn't get that fuckin' bombed last night, did I?" Murphy dropped his hand away from his face and stood up quickly. Connor reached out as if to steady him, making his brother look at him funny.

"What's with all the fuckin' questions?" Murphy knocked his brother's hand away from him. "What happened last night?"

"Do ye remember drinkin' Katie's drink?"

"No! I don't fuckin' remember."

"Well, someone fuckin' slipped something in it, Murph. Ye don't remember because you were fuckin' drugged." Connor watched him carefully, forcing himself not to reach out as Murphy stepped toward the door. They looked at each other and Murphy brought his hand up to his mouth.

"Someone drugged Katie's drink? Where the fuck is she? Is she okay?"

Connor put his hand on Murphy's arm. "She's fine. I'm sure she's just out in the kitchen."

"Connor." Sara's voice came quietly from the doorway. Both brothers broke the stare to look at her. She held out a piece of paper. "She's gone."

Murphy grabbed the note and started to read it. Connor leaned in over his shoulder. Skimming the note quickly, he put his hand on Murphy's shoulder and squeezed. "Fuck."

He glanced up and saw that Sara was watching them, the beginnings of tears in her eyes. Murphy continued to stare at the note.

_Murphy, Connor, Da and Rosie,_

_I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye. But I can't_

_let this hurt you anymore than it already has._

_Take care of each other. Please forgive me._

_Love,_

_Katie_

"She left her key on the table." Sara spoke up finally. Both Murphy and Connor looked up at her again. Murphy set the note on her bed and raised his hand to his forehead again.

"I thought it was a fuckin' dream."

"You thought what was?" Connor frowned at him. Murphy stared at the wall. He pressed his lips together and sighed heavily.

"I heard her say goodbye."

* * *

They combed every place they could think of in South Boston for her. It'd taken nearly the whole day and they still found nothing. She hadn't contacted Doc for her paycheck. And every time they called her cell phone, it went straight to voicemail. Left with no more ideas of what to do, Connor, Murphy and Da returned to the apartment, each one of them hoping she might be there waiting for them. The apartment had been empty and each McManus passed the time they waited in their own way. 

The ringing of Connor's phone finally tore him out of any semblance of sleep at three A.M. Staring at it for a second, he saw that it was Smecker. _This can't be fuckin' good._

"'lo?"

"Connor, it's Smecker."

"Aye, I know. What's wrong?"

"I found your girl. She's okay." Smecker waited a beat. "She's down here at the precinct."

"Think we can get in this early?" Connor rolled over onto his back and glanced at his brother's bed. It was empty, the blankets twisted and the pillow on the floor. Where the fuck was Murphy?

"I'll make sure it's clear. Come to the side door."

"We'll be there shortly. Thanks for lettin' us know." Connor shut his phone and stared at Murphy's bed for another second. He turned then and got out of bed quickly. Walking down the hallway, he saw Murphy at the kitchen table, cup of coffee in one hand and lit cigarette in the other.

"Murph?" He kept his voice low, seeing that Da was snoring softly from one of the recliners.

Murphy looked up at him surprised before staring back at the front door. "Keep it down. We don't need to fuckin' wake up Da, too."

Pulling out a chair, Connor sat down and looked at Murphy. "What are ye doin'?"

"Couldn't fuckin' sleep. Thought maybe she'd come home tonight."

"Not fuckin' likely. Smecker found her. She's fine, Murph." Connor added quickly, as Murphy turned to stare at him wide-eyed.

Murphy got to his feet and tapped the ashes off his cigarette. "Then what the fuck are we waitin' for?"

Holding up his hand, Connor stood up. "Just let me get some clothes on." He ran back to their room and quickly pulled an old pair of jeans on and a dark sweater. Grabbing his phone off his nightstand, he quietly shut the door behind him. The longer Da thought they were sleeping, the longer they had before he got worried.

"Why the fuck is she at the precinct?" Murphy whispered from the door as Connor haphazardly tied his boots. He stood up and shrugged.

"No fuckin' idea." Connor pulled his keys out of his coat pocket and pushed Murphy out the door, locking it quietly behind them.

The walk to the police station was tense and completely wordless. Connor had to walk quickly to keep up with his brother. Their stride was off. They were off. He looked at Murphy every few minutes, wanting to speak up but unsure of what to say. Murphy hadn't told him what exactly had happened between Katie and him.

They both walked around to the side doors and Connor pulled out his phone to dial Smecker.

"We're here." He shut his phone again and looked at Murphy, who couldn't seem to keep still. "She's alright, Murph."

His brother just nodded shortly and straightened as Smecker appeared at the glass door. He used his keys and unlocked it quickly.

"Follow me."

Smecker led them away from the door and down a small hallway until they reached a tiny office. Connor sat down in one of the chairs across from Smecker's desk, but looked up to see that Murphy had remained standing near the doorway.

"Where's Katie?"

"Murphy, sit down." Smecker pointed at other chair, but he just shook his head.

"Take us to her."

"Murph, sit down." Connor's voice was quiet but he knew that Murphy would listen to him. There was a brief pause before he sat down as well. They both leaned forward then and Smecker sighed.

"It's more complicated than that. Katie killed somebody. We believe it was in self-defense."

"What the fuck happened?" Connor asked at the same time that Murphy spoke up.

"Is she hurt?"

Smecker shook his head at Murphy. "No, she's okay. We don't have all of the story yet, but she was attacked in an alley not far from here. Fortunately for her, she had this." He pulled out an evidence bag holding a switchblade.

Connor's eyes widened as he stared at it. "Fuck."

"Do either of you recognize this?"

"No." Murphy shook his head but continued to stare at the bag.

Connor swallowed quickly and leaned forward to take the bag from Smecker. He looked closely at the knife and nodded.

"I gave her this." He glanced at Murphy, who was giving him a confused look. "The day she ditched me and bought the paint. I felt better knowing she had something to protect her."

"Why didn't ye fuckin' tell me?"

"I didn't want ta make a big fuckin' deal of out it." He shrugged and looked at Smecker again, feeling his brother continue to stare at him.

"So, she knew how to use it then?"

"Aye, I fuckin' taught her." Connor pressed his lips together before glancing at both Murphy and Smecker. "I also told her never ta bring it out unless she really fuckin' needed it."

"She might have gotten scared, Connor."

Out of the corner of his eye, Connor saw Murphy lean even further forward. "Where is she? We need to see her now."

Smecker shook his head and held up a hand quickly. "There are a few more details here."

Connor leaned back again. He looked over and saw that Murphy had started chewing on his thumb. He looked back at Smecker.

"The guy she killed was a mobster."

Connor exchanged a quick glance with Murphy before nodding. They'd figured as much. He opened his mouth to respond but Smecker held up his finger again.

"He was a Russian mobster."

Both Connor and Murphy sat up straight and stared at each other before turning back to Smecker in unison.

"Fuckin' Russian?" Murphy asked.

Smecker nodded.

"This just got a whole lot more fuckin' complicated." Connor reached into his pocket and pulled out his cigarettes. He handed one to Murphy and tossed one to Smecker, before lighting one himself.

"I have a theory." Smecker took a drag and stared at them. Connor nodded quickly.

"Which is?"

"So far we have two major competing mob families working together and suddenly the Russians are also in on this. There's only one man who could do this. The fucking former right hand man of Papa Joe. Leon Fertitta. He has family ties with New York. Three of the under bosses are his first cousins. Now he just got fucking passed up after Papa Joe was taken down. He also used to do a lot of trading of resources with the fucking Russians when they first started coming over." Smecker put the cigarette to his lips.

"What does this have to do with Katie?" Connor glanced at Murphy as he spoke. Murphy had started chewing on his thumb again. They'd have to let him go check on Katie soon.

"Everything. Intelligence tells me that the Russians weren't even in communication with either mob family until a week ago. But the New York family and the Boston family have been in communication for nearly two months."

"So the fuckin' Russians were brought into it after she met us."

"Exactly." Smecker pointed his cigarette at Murphy. "Which means that you two weren't even fucking targeted until then. Katie was the original target."

"But she wouldn't have been fuckin' kidnapped if she hadn't been with Janie Fertitta." Connor pointed out. Smecker raised an eyebrow.

"Wouldn't she have?"

"Kidnapping Janie was never their intention." Murphy stared at him.

"Exactly. Why else would they have let her go? Because they'd already lost Katie. But we need to find exactly what Katie knows. We've been lucky so far. That's the only reason she's still alive. These two families are still fucking learning to work together. But soon enough, they'll be a fucking well oiled machine and we'll have much fucking harder time keeping her away from them." Smecker looked hard at Murphy who had started fidgeting even more. Reaching next to his desk, he pulled out a paper bag and Katie's backpack.

"Murphy. She's in the holding cell you two were in. Her clothes may be needed as evidence. She has a change of clothes in here."

Connor reached out and put a hand on Murphy's shoulder. "Go take care of her. We'll be in there in a minute."

Murphy nodded and looked at Connor quickly before grabbing the bags and walking out the door. Connor watched him disappear down the hallway before he turned back to Smecker.

"What do ye think she knows?"

"I don't know. But I think it's something pretty fucking big."

Connor nodded and took a drag of his cigarette. "Let's give 'em a few minutes here."

"Connor, you know that she may have been their original target but bringing in the Russians only means one thing."

"That they mean to take us down too." Connor took another drag of his cigarette before he looked back at Smecker. "I wish 'em good fuckin' luck with that."

* * *

Katie was curled up on her side on the cot nearest the outside wall. She was exhausted but each time she closed her eyes the knife and the blood came back to her. _Great, another fucking image to add to things._

The door creaked as it opened but she just stayed as she was. The sound of footsteps came closer. Katie sighed.

"Paul, please. Just let me be alone for a while."

The footsteps kept coming. Looking behind her, she froze as she saw Murphy watching her carefully. His eyes widened as he saw the blood on her shirt.

"Murph." She didn't know she'd said it until it was out. He sat down next to her and pulled her into his arms. Wrapping her arms around him tightly, she fought the lump forming in her throat.

She could feel that his body was tense. Pulling away slightly, Katie reached up and put her hand on his face. He stared down at her for a second before brushing her hair out of her face and gently kissing her. She felt him relax a little as she kissed him back.

Breaking the contact finally, Katie looked up at him and then moved her eyes away. "I'm so sorry, Murph."

He tried to smile. "For what? Leavin'?"

"No. For you getting hurt." She continued to look away until the silence got to be too much for her. Raising her eyes to him, she found that he was watching her.

"Katie, look at me. I'm fuckin' fine." He opened his arms for her inspection. She just stared at him before she turned away and stood up.

"You weren't." She crossed her arms.

"Yer right. I wasn't." Murphy spoke softly. "From the moment I found out ye were gone until now, I wasn't fine."

"Murph." She sighed and then ran a hand through her hair.

"No, I'm not ready to argue about this yet." He reached down and tossed her the backpack. "Smecker needs those clothes for evidence. He said to put them in that paper bag." She just looked at him. "Please."

She watched as he turned around and found herself smiling slightly. "Always the gentleman, Murph."

"Sometimes, that's all ye can fuckin' be." He responded and Katie felt a little better as she heard the smile in his voice.

Peeling off her t-shirt, Katie folding it neatly and laid it in the bag. She did the same with her jeans. Glancing down, she shrugged and put on the extra set of clothes out of her bag. She hoped Smecker wouldn't need anything else.

"It's safe to look now." She found herself smiling again as Murphy peeked cautiously behind him. "I guess I need to get a new coat though. Most of the…of it landed on that coat." She couldn't say the word. _It was blood, Katie. Just fucking blood._

"Ye can wear mine home at least."

"No, Murph. I'm not-" Her response was cut off as Smecker opened the door. Connor followed him and his eyes studied both of them for a moment. Katie bit her lip.

Connor walked forward and looked at her closer before putting his arms around her. Hugging her tightly for a second, he stepped back again. "Are ye okay?"

She nodded but watched Connor glance over at Murphy anyhow. Murphy nodded slightly. Katie narrowed her eyes as she watched them.

"Your clothes in here?" Smecker held up the paper bag and she nodded again.

"Do ye need anything else from her right now?" Connor turned to him. Smecker shook his head.

"You can take her home. I'll call you if we need anything further."

"Wait." Katie stepped back and held up her hands. "I'm not going back with you."

All three men stared at her. Connor crossed his arms but she cut him off before he could start.

"I'm sticking with my decision."

"Ye just got fuckin' attacked in an alley, for Christ's sake." Connor broke the silence.

"And I survived."  
"Aye, until next time. Ye're not makin' fuckin' sense, Katie." He stepped closer. She glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest too.

"I'm a fucking adult, Connor. I'm free to make my own choices. And I choose to not fucking endanger anyone else."

"So ye'll just fuckin' endanger yer own life. Who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks, right? Who fuckin' cares if it hurts anyone else?" Murphy's voice was soft but she could hear the emotion in it. She felt colder as she stared at him and forced herself to shut down her own emotional response. _It's for his fucking sake. _

"This is my problem. I'm not letting it fucking touch you guys anymore than it already has. It's my fucking problem." She could hear the shaking of her voice and she knew she was losing the battle for control over herself.

Connor looked at Murphy before he turned back to her. His face showed no emotion. "If ye won't come home with us, then yer stayin' fuckin' here."

Her mouth dropped open and she stared at him. "Fuck you, Connor. That's not in your control." She looked at Smecker who had been observing from the near the wall. "I'm free to go, right Paul?"

"Keep her here, Smecker." Connor looked at him. Smecker shifted the paper bag and slipped his hand into his pocket. He then focused on Katie.

"Technically, I'm supposed to hold you until we know what actually happened. I was going to release you early to these two."

She stared at him in disbelief. "You're joking, right?"

"No, Katie. I'm not." Smecker sighed.

Katie pressed her lips together and glared at Smecker first and turned to Connor. Her gaze softened when she looked at Murphy. Finally, she shook her head and sat back down on her bed. "Then I guess I'll just get comfortable."

"Fine. Fuckin' stay in here for all I care." Murphy raised his voice as he stared at her. He turned and left the holding cell, slamming the door behind him. Smecker exchanged a glance with Connor. Connor nodded toward the door and Smecker followed Murphy out the door.

Katie leaned her chin on her fist and raised her eyebrows at Connor. He looked at the door behind him before turning back to her.

"I told ye awhile ago that leavin' wasn't the answer. I'd have left myself if I thought it'd keep Murphy safe. But he'll keep lookin' for ye. Everywhere. Pushing him away doesn't save him, Katie. It only hurts him more." Connor turned and left her alone in the room without a backward glance.

* * *

Murphy was pacing back and forth in the hallway when Connor reached him. He looked up briefly at Connor but then put his eyes back on the floor. 

"She'll come around, Murph."

He just nodded in response. Smecker looked at Connor.

"You two better get going. The day shift'll be in before long."

Connor nodded and stepped toward his brother. Murphy shook his head and met Connor's gaze.

"I'm gonna get some fuckin' air. I'll see ye back at the apartment." He turned and started walking down the hall. Connor watched him for a second.

"Ye got yer phone?"

Murphy pulled the phone out of his pocket and held it up without looking back. He disappeared out the door as Connor kept his eyes on him. He then turned to Smecker.

"He gonna be okay?"

Connor nodded shortly. "He'll be fine. He just needs ta be alone."

"Maybe she does too."

"Aye, maybe. Thanks for keepin' her here."

"I can only hold her for so long, Connor."

He looked at Smecker. "Let's just fuckin' hope it'll be long enough. Do me another favor?"

"Depends. What is it?" Smecker grinned at him. Connor pulled a cigarette out and lit it.

"Can ye look someone up for me? Figure out if there's anything in yer system?"

"Who is it?"

"His name is Peter Shafer. He's Katie's brother." Rolling the cigarette, Connor glanced up at Smecker again.

"Okay. Why?"

"He might be a good fuckin' plan B. He's a cop. Transferred to some precinct in New York City about two months ago. If she won't go with us, maybe she'll go with him."

"I'll let you know." Smecked nodded at him. Connor gave him a small smile and followed his brother's path out the side door.

* * *

Smecker was nursing his third cup of coffee since noon when Murphy appeared in the doorway. He looked up and frowned at him, motioning for him to come inside. 

"What's going on?"

Murphy just held out a white paper bag. "It's for Katie. A little late for lunch, but I know she likes it."

"Thanks. I'll take it into her in just a minute here. How are you doing?"

Shrugging, Murphy pulled out a cigarette. "She talk ta anyone yet?"

"No, she's been sleeping since you two left. I have a feeling she didn't sleep much last night."

"No, I don't fuckin' suppose she did."

They were both quiet for a moment before Smecker sat forward.

"Do you want to take it in to her?"

Murphy took a drag of his cigarette and shook his head. "No. I'd better not." He got to his feet and walked to the door. "Thanks, Smecker."

Smecker nodded and watched Murphy leave. What was going to happen if she continued to stick to her decision? Sighing, he got to his feet and grabbed the white bag.

* * *

Katie woke slowly. The cot wasn't the most comfortable thing but she had been so exhausted that it worked for her. Now she could swear that something was poking her in the back. Sitting up, the white bag on the floor caught her eye and she picked it up with a frown. 

It was still slightly warm and smelled like food. Smecker must have brought it in while she was sleeping. Her stomach growled lightly and Katie opened the bag. Pulling the Styrofoam box out, she turned the bag on its side. A slip of paper floated out and landed on her lap.

Figuring it was a receipt, Katie glanced at it quickly. Rough handwriting was scrawled across the paper instead of the printed blue words she expected to see. Turning it right side up, she read the words.

_I love you too. _

_Please come home._

_Murphy_

She stared down at the words through the tears in her eyes. Raising her hand to her mouth, she read them again. _How did he know what I said? _Katie finally gave in and cried.


	16. Chapter 16

Connor came home with a pizza for supper to find that Murphy had finally returned. He'd been worried but he knew that calling his brother wouldn't solve things. If Murphy needed to be alone and miserable, then adding on guilt for leaving Connor alone all day wouldn't help things.

Grabbing two beers from the fridge, he set the box on the coffee table and collapsed on the couch next to Murphy.

"Hungry?"

"Sure, why not." Murphy opened the box and grabbed a beer. "Thanks."

Connor nodded and they ate in silence. He didn't know what to say to his brother. His role had always been that of the solver. And for once, he didn't know how to make this better.

A phone rang from the kitchen table and Connor exchanged a look with Murphy.

"It's not mine." Murphy pulled his phone from his pocket. Nodding, Connor got up and grabbed it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Connor. It's Smecker."

"I know." Connor smiled slightly. "Caller ID. What's goin' on?"

"Couple of things. First, I convinced Katie to come to my apartment. And, I need you two to come over. We all need to talk." Smecker sighed.

Connor nodded and glanced at Murphy, who was watching him with an eyebrow raised. "Okay. When?"

"When can you get here?"

"Give us twenty minutes." Hanging up the phone, Connor took another quick bite of his slice of pizza and moved his finger is a circle. "Grab some to go. We gotta fuckin' get to Smecker's."

"Why? What's the fuck is goin' on?"

"Group therapy. Fuck if I know. Katie's there too." Connor grabbed his beer and started drinking it quickly. "Finish yer beer here."

"I'm not a fuckin' idiot." Murphy glared at him before standing up from the couch. He grabbed two more slices and stacked them on his hand. Taking two more drinks, he drained his beer and slammed it on the table. "Let's go."

Sighing, Connor nodded and followed Murphy out the door. _This should be a fuckin' fun filled night.

* * *

_

Da was at Smecker's when they walked in. He gave them each a half smile before he puffed at his cigar. Murphy looked at Connor who shrugged. _Why was Da there?_

Murphy glanced at Smecker. He nodded to the kitchen. "She went to get a drink."

She was at the sink with her back to him but when she tensed slightly, he knew she was aware of his presence. Murphy opened the fridge to see if Smecker had any beer and was surprised to find the white bag in there. Frowning he pulled it out and set it on the counter. Katie still hadn't looked at him.

"Have ye eaten at all today?"

"I'm fine, Murph." Her shaking voice made a liar out of her and he stepped closer.

"Look at me."

"Go away." She rubbed her palms underneath her eyes as he gently made her face him. The tears didn't surprise him but the fact that she was avoiding his eyes did. He noticed the shaking in her hands as she wiped away another tear. Putting an arm around her, he led her to the kitchen table.

"Sit. Please."

She kept her eyes away from his and sat down, folding her arms in front of her on the table. Rubbing his hand on the back of his head, he grabbed the white bag and pulled the box out. He tore the top half off and set it in the microwave. After turning it on, he turned to look at her.

"Ye need ta eat."

The beeping of the microwave was his only answer. He found a fork and stirred up the spaghetti. After punching a few more numbers again, he started the microwave.

"I want to go home." Her voice was barely above a whisper. Murphy felt a lump in his throat grow as he watched her. He crouched beside her chair and looked up at her, putting his hand on her knee.

He was quiet for a moment, trying to catch her eye. "Ye can have my home."

She finally raised her eyes to look at him and tried to smile. She started sobbing instead. Murphy pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly.

"I wish it were that simple, Murph."

Closing his eyes, he forced himself not to respond. _But it is the fuckin' simple._ Anger wouldn't work. Especially anger that wasn't even directed at her. A large part of him wished she would be a little less concerned about others. About him. Because he'd risk anything to get her back home.

"Everything okay?" Connor's voice came from the doorway quietly. Murphy pulled away and looked up at him. Glancing behind him, Connor nodded toward the living room. "Smecker's ready to start as soon as ye get in there."

Nodding, Murphy looked back at Katie. She met his eyes this time. "What's going on?"

"Smecker has ta talk to us, I guess."

"About what?"

"Group therapy?" Murphy smiled when she laughed softly.

"Bad joke."

"Wasn't mine. Connor said it first."

"Yeah, sure. Blame it on poor Connor." She seemed to have relaxed a little bit. Murphy breathed easier, putting his hand back on her knee. As least the tears were over, that's all that mattered at the moment. He could handle anything else.

"Oh, he got enough fuckin' blamed on me when we were lads. Fuckin' little angel Connor never did anything wrong." He got to his feet and held a hand out to Katie. After she stood up, he put his arms around her again. For just a moment, he needed to hold her. And somehow, he knew she understood.

"Did ye find any beer in the fridge?" She laughed when he pulled away and grinned.

"How'd ye know that's what I was goin' for?"

"Because I know you, Murph."

"Aye, I think there might be a few."

"Spaghetti and beer. Not quite as catchy as pizza and beer, but it'll work."

"Yer catching on, Katie." Murphy pulled the box out of the microwave and handed it to her. She looked at it and smiled again.

"This is from that one diner. The one we hid in that day."

He nodded. "Yeah, I knew ye liked it then."

Katie opened her mouth to speak but then stopped. Instead, she stepped close to him and kissed him on the cheek. He put his arm around her and she leaned against him for a second.

"I'm not any good at this stuff, Murph."

Laughing softly, he rested his chin on the top of her head. "I'm not exactly the best either. Connor's always been the smooth one. But I think we'll be fine."

* * *

Following Murphy through the door, Katie realized she was getting three confused looks from the other three men. She glanced around the room and smiled slightly.

"Group therapy, huh?"

Connor grinned at her. "Christ, that's all it took? I would have said that earlier if I'd known."

"He really did say it, Murph." She chuckled as Murphy rolled his eyes.

"I told ye he did."

"Yeah, yeah. Fucking little angel Connor." Settling on the end of the couch closest to Connor, Katie smiled slightly as Murphy sat next to her. Twirling her fork to wrap spaghetti around it, she pointed it at Smecker. "What's up?"

"We have a few issues to discuss."

"Wow, and I don't have to leave?" Katie shot a knowing glance at Da who shook his head with a small smile.

"No, lass. Yer involved now."

"Yer nearly one of the fuckin' Saints now." Murphy glanced at her.

Shaking her head, she nodded at Connor. "Nope, I haven't been properly initiated yet."

"Ye have ta be initiated now?"

"Ask Connor."

Murphy raised an eyebrow at Connor, who just shook his head at her. "Jesus, ye have a long fuckin' memory Katie."

"What is the initiation?"

"Never mind, Murph." She smiled and took a bite of her spaghetti. It was bad timing to discuss Connor's idea of initiation. Murphy wouldn't think it was too humorous. Da took the open silence as his cue.

"We've got ta do some plannin' tonight."

"So that's why yer here." Connor looked at Da who nodded.

"You two boys aren't exactly known for yer fuckin' plannin' ahead. And luck won't work this time."

Connor turned towards Katie and managed to speak in a voice nearly identical to Da's. "And ye're not known for planning anything at all, lass."

Between choking laughs, she pointed her fork at him and shook her head.

"To the business at hand." Smecker eyed Connor then Katie seriously. "We have lots to discuss tonight."

Taking another bite of her spaghetti, she leaned back against Murphy's arm. "So, what specifically are we planning tonight?"

Smecker exchanged a glance with Da before motioning for him to continue. Da nodded and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together. He sighed.

"We've known this day might be comin' for a while now. The very men we track down are now working together to strike back at us. We need to be prepared and we need to decide if we want to continue."

"First, we have two families with power who have never been known to work together joining ranks with each other. The Fertittas and the Yakavettas are dangerous alone. Together, they will believe they are unstoppable." Smecker shifted his gaze around the room as he spoke. "And now, the Russians. Katie, the man in the alley was a Russian mobster."

She nodded slowly. "So what does this all mean?"

"It means either we do something fast or we face them unified." Smecker pulled a cigarette out and lit it slowly. "Obviously doing something fast is the fucking better option."

"Aye, but what should we fuckin' do? We're just glorified hit men. This'll be a fuckin' war." Murphy muttered.

"Two choices. Either hide or fight." Smecker held his hand up as both Connor and Murphy moved to interrupt. "I know how you two stand on that issue. However, there is more that complicates this situation."

"Me." Katie picked up her beer and took a small drink. Smecker nodded at her.

"More than you realize."

"Paul, what are you talking about?"

He exchanged glanced with Connor before sighing. "Connor asked me to look up your brother, Peter."

Katie turned to stare at Connor, shocked. She'd never thought of enlisting Smecker's help. Not that she'd had much of a chance to think about it. Nodding mutely, she looked back down at her half-eaten food. "What did you find?"

"To start, he has two addresses listed for him. One in Stillwater, NY."

"Our house." Katie smiled slightly and nodded for him to continue.

"And the other one is in Brooklyn."

"Brooklyn?" She frowned. "Where in Brooklyn?"

"Ah…Loft Street."

Katie grinned. "I lived on Loft Street. Bastard probably took over my apartment."

"So that means he definitely went to New York to look for ye. If he's livin' at yer place." Connor pointed at out her. She pursed her lips together and nodded.

"Hold on." Smecker held up his hand. "I did find that he was working as a detective in Manhattan."

"Was?"

"He's now listed as being on leave. Indefinite leave."

"What does that mean, Smecker?" Katie set her food on the floor and moved so she was sitting cross-legged. "Why would he be on leave?"

"He's on paid leave, Katie. It's been my experience that generally, that only means one thing. He's undercover. Undercover enough that they won't put it officially on record. Even my high clearance found nothing more."

"He's fucking gone in."

"Aye, that's what we're thinkin', lass." Da's voice was low.

"It's likely he went lookin' for an undercover assignment that would get him in ta find ye." Connor added. Murphy leaned forward then.

"When did ye figure this out?"

"Today. We just put it all together when we got here."

Murphy nodded shortly and Katie looked between the two of them. She knew things were a bit rough between them at the moment. And she knew she was the cause. But at the moment, she couldn't allow herself to care.

Pulling away from Murphy's arm, she stood up quickly and walked near the kitchen door. She rubbed her hand on her forehead as she stared at the ground, only slightly away of the stares.

"Katie?" Smecker's spoke up finally.

"He fucking went in because of me. Brett I understood. But not fucking Peter."

"Brett?"

"Her older brother." Murphy supplied, his eyes on her. Da leaned in closer.

"Why did ye understand his involvement but not Peter's, Katie?"

"Why does it matter?" She opened her eyes and looked at Da. He watched her closely.

"Understandin' everything will help us."

She sighed. "Peter's the innocent one. Black and white. Fucking law and order. For Brett, things were blurred. Lots of gray zone. Especially as he got further in. After he fucking became one of them. Brett told me things that I can never repeat to Peter."

Katie looked at Connor and then Murphy. She spoke faster, her voice starting to shake again. "Brett was logical. He did what he needed to. Peter. Peter's kinda like Murphy. More emotionally driven. This is gonna fucking destroy him. Christ!"

She started pacing again. Connor reached out and grabbed her arm. Stopping, she stared down at him.

"Calm down, Katie. You gettin' fuckin' worked up isn't gonna save him."

Continuing to stare down at him, she shook her head. The anger and the helplessness boiled inside of her and she forced herself to take a steadying breath.

"He's been pulled in because of _me. _You've all been pinned in this fucking mess because of _me._ And I don't even know why. That's the fucking kicker, Connor. I don't know why. So of course, I can't save him. I can't even fucking save myself." She yanked her arm away and slammed through the kitchen door. Leaning against the wall on the other side, she knew she should cry now. But she had no more tears left.

* * *

Murphy stood up as soon as she went through the door, ready to follow her. Connor got up and stopped him with a hand to his chest.

"Get outta my way."

"Murph, stop. You goin' in there isn't gonna fuckin' help."

Trying to push his brother aside, Murphy felt his heart racing. He needed to get to her. But Connor held on tight.

"Yer too fuckin' emotional, Murph. Ye'll just fuckin' stir her up more."

"And you think ye'll be better? All the fuckin' logic and reason in the world isn't gonna make this fuckin' better. Knowin' she's got someone who cares will. Now get the fuck outta me way." Murphy got into Connor's face, anger pumping through his veins. Connor didn't move, just held tightly onto Murphy's shoulders and stared back at him.

"That's enough!" Da's voice rumbled making them turn their glares elsewhere. Da had gotten out of the chair and was walking toward them. Murphy was surprised to find no anger in his face.

"Sit down." He was quieter this time, gently pushing the two brothers apart and pointing them to their seats. "Ye two have good intentions. But yer not in a place ta make this better for her. She's got ta work through it herself."

Da looked at each of his boys for a moment before moving toward the kitchen himself.

"So what are ye gonna do then, Da?" Murphy asked quietly from the couch. Da stared at the wood grain of the door for a moment before glancing over.

His voice was low. "Sometimes a girl just needs her Da. I'm gonna see if I will do instead."

Murphy watched him walk through the door. He pulled his cigarettes out and lit one. Tossing the pack in Connor's direction, he refused to look over at his brother. Smecker's quiet sigh was the only sound in the room.

* * *

The door squeaked slightly as it opened, but Katie refused to look. She couldn't deal with answering anything else right now. And that's all they seemed to want. Answers. Even if it was just answering that she was fine so they didn't have to worry.

The lingering smell of cigar smoke surprised her and she found herself turning despite herself. Da leaned against the inside of the door frame, watching her. She sighed and faced forward again.

"Please don't, Da. I just need to be alone right now." Her voice was a whisper but the room was silent enough she knew he'd hear her.

"But is bein' alone the answer, lass?"

"Fuck, I don't know. I don't have the energy to find out right now." Katie brought her hands to up to cover her face. They were both silent for a moment.

"Ye've been hit with a lot lately. It's hardly fair ta expect ye to bear it alone." His deep, soft voice floated around her. She sighed.

"I know you all mean well and want to help…"

Da interrupted her. "I was talkin' about you, Katie. It's hardly fair for you ta force yerself ta handle it alone. Ye've got two boys out there who'd whisk it all away if they thought they could. If they thought ye'd let them. How long has it been since ye've allowed yerself ta lean on someone. Ta depend on them?"

"I've almost always had someone there for me, Da. I've always had support. I've been lucky."

"Aye, ye've had support but have ye opened yerself up and let them support ye?"

Katie pulled her legs up on the chair and wrapped her arms around her knees. She leaned her head on them. "I just want to go home."

"Why?"

She raised her head and turned to look at him. "Why does it matter?"

"Why do ye want ta go home? What is home for ye?" Da stepped closer. Katie swallowed hard. She thought about it for a moment.

"Home is when I was sixteen and my parents were still alive. When my brothers were still innocent. And when I wasn't afraid of anything because I didn't know there were things that existed to be afraid of yet. I want to go there. I want to go home, Da." She let the tears fall, unwilling to be ashamed of them. Da moved into her vision and sat down across from her.

"But that is in the past, Katie. Either ye choose ta focus on the past that can never be again." Da paused and put his hand over hers as she started sobbing harder. "Or ye do what ye need to ta find yer way home again."

Katie let her knees go and stared at him. Da opened up his arms and she leaned forward, allowing herself to be held.

"I know I'm not yer real Da, Katie. But if it helps, ye can pretend I am."

She nodded against his shoulder. "Thank you, Da."

He just kept rocking her gently back and forth without responding. Her tears soon dried up, and she relaxed against him. Thoughts whirled through her head.

"They're gonna find me, aren't they Da?"

"I don't know, lass. But wouldn't ye rather be ready if they do?"

* * *

After a little while, Connor glanced at his brother. "Murph, can I talk to ye outside?"

Without looking at him, Murphy nodded. Connor turned his eyes to Smecker. "If they come out..."

"I'll come get you two."

"Thanks." Smiling slightly, Connor followed his still silent brother out the door.

The air was cold and they breathed out white puffs of air in a muted stillness.

"I'm sorry." Connor finally spoke up and turned to face his brother. It took Murphy a moment to glance up. He nodded. Connor sighed. "I just…I can't stand ta see this fuckin' tearin' both of ye apart."

"Keepin' me from her isn't gonna fuckin' solve that."

"Da's right. Neither of us wouldn't have helped." Connor paused, hoping Murphy would jump in.

"Aye, I know. You were right too. I've just been fuckin' stirrin' her up all day." Murphy stared at the ground as Connor waited for him to continue. "Christ. She fuckin' loves me, Conn. She told me when she thought I was fuckin' sleeping."

"I'm glad she realized it." Connor grinned wider as Murphy raised his head and smiled. He shook his head then.

"Only fuckin' thing is I couldn't leave it alone. There's so much fuckin' shit goin' on and I fuckin' put that out there for her."

"What are ye talkin' about?"

"I left her a note today. It was fuckin' stupid. But I thought if she knew, she'd come home."

Sighing, Connor rubbed his hand through his hair and looked over at Murphy. "That night. That was a fuckin' tough night. On all of us. Especially on her."

"I-"

"No ye don't know, Murphy. You were normal. Then all of a fuckin' sudden ye were…" Connor forced himself to stop. He couldn't say it. He couldn't verbalize just how fucking helpless Murphy had been. "We had ta fuckin' drag ye home. Ye don't know how fuckin' hard that was."

"I'm not sorry I drank it."

"What?"

"I'm not sorry it was me."

"Well, don't fuckin' tell her that. She's got enough ta worry about without you playin' fuckin' hero." Connor pulled out another cigarette and lit it. Murphy grabbed the pack out of his brother's pocket and got his own.

They were silent for a moment as the smoke floated between them. "If I'd known she was that upset, I'd have talked ta her. But I was too fuckin' blind to see it."

Murphy reached out to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Connecting them again. "It's not yer fault. She fuckin' hides things well."

"That she fuckin' does."

They finished their cigarettes together and Connor pointed his finger at Murphy. "I should of fuckin' thought of this earlier."

"What?"

"I'm callin' Sara. She knows Katie. Maybe she'll be able to make her think clearly." Connor pulled out his cell phone, flipping it open.

"Maybe she can stay with her too." Murphy glanced back at the door. "I don't think she'll fuckin' consider comin' home with us tonight."

"Good idea. I'm glad we fuckin' thought of it." Connor smiled as Murphy grinned at him. At least for the moment, things were okay between them again.

* * *

Sara sprinted into Smecker's apartment about twenty minutes later. Her heart was still racing from running the last two blocks. She'd been worried about Katie. Even after Connor called her that morning to tell her she'd been found and that she was alright. She knew Katie. And she knew Katie wasn't alright just yet.

Connor smiled and came over to her when she came in. His arms wrapped around her and she felt the night chill being chased away by his warmth. She let herself relax against him.

"Where is she?"

"She's okay, Sara. I didn't mean ta panic ye."

"I just…I want to see for myself." Sara pulled away from him and looked up into his face. He nodded his understanding.

"She's in the kitchen with Da, Smecker and Murph." His words were barely out before she'd pulled away from him. He followed her quickly through the kitchen door.

As Sara entered, her eyes immediately fell on Katie, who was smiling slightly as a cleanly dressed man who was in the middle of a story. Katie looked up however, and lost her smile as she saw Sara.

"Rosie." Katie breathed and Sara stepped closer to her. The girls embraced tightly and Sara felt her heart lighten. Katie was okay. At least for the moment.

Pulling away from her friend, Sara stared at her. "Don't fucking scare me like that again."

Katie nodded and gave her a small smile. "I knew I'd be in a bit of trouble with you."

"Fuck, Katie. You're in trouble with everyone. I'm just the only one who doesn't have to be a gentleman about it." Sara glanced around the room and saw a few hidden smiles as she spoke. Connor still stood to the side of her and Sara realized they were all quietly watching them. She waved her hand through the air.

"On with your conversation. Nothing to see here."

The nicely dressed man stood up and held out a hand with a grin. "Now you are someone I'd like to meet. I'm Paul Smecker."

"Sara Moretti."

"You must be Connor's girl."

"Or Connor must be my guy." Sara grinned back at Smecker.

"I think I like you already." Smecker glanced at Connor. "An Italian girlfriend, huh? Somehow, that seems almost fitting."

Sara watched Connor just smile and shake his head. She turned to Katie. "You look beat."

"Gee, thanks. Love your outfit too." Katie smiled slightly.

"Why don't ye go home, lasses? We can continue out discussions later." Da nodded at Katie.

"Sara, this is my Da." Connor stepped forward them. Sara looked at Da surprised. After a second of psyching herself out, she held out her hand.

"Nice to meet you, sir."

"Call me Da." His gripped her hand gently and smiled at her.

Sara shook her head and opened her mouth to respond. Katie laughed softly and put her hand on Sara's arm. "Just do it. He'll continue to insist otherwise. Stubbornness runs though this family if you haven't noticed."

"Okay, then Da it is." She gave him a small smile and tried not to be intimidated. She didn't know she'd be meeting Connor's Da tonight. The bastard hadn't prepared her for that. Turning to Katie, she nodded. "Let's get going."

As she nodded at both Da and Smecker, Sara saw Katie start to approach Murphy out the corner of her eye. Murphy stood up instead. "We'll walk ye to the door."

Connor pulled on Sara's hand and led her to the door. "Thanks for comin' ta get her. I wish ye could stay longer." He kissed her gently. Sara smiled up at him.

"I'm sure I'll see you tomorrow. I can't imagine your brother staying away from Katie any longer than that." She nodded towards where the two stood, holding each other tightly. Murphy leaned down and kissed Katie lightly before he stepped away from her, brushing hair back from her face.

"Good night, Connor." She kissed him again and then turned toward the door. "Good night, Murphy."

"Good night girls."

With a smile, Sara took Katie's hand and led her out of the apartment. They were outside again before she spoke.

"I think it's time for some girl time."

"I think you're right, Sara." Katie smiled at her. Sara flagged down a cab quickly. They stepped into the cab. She couldn't help but notice that both she and Katie had turned to watch the apartment disappear from sight. Smiling, she kept silent. There was a_ lot_ they needed to catch up on.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Quick update. I'm currently on a very short vacation in Chicago, so I won't have anything else up until after Sunday. I do have a chapter in the works, but I still need to do a little more editing before I post it. Sorry for the wait time, I was doing so good at updating every other day. Hopefully I get back to that soon**!

Sara peeked into her bedroom again where Katie still slept soundly. It had taken a good five minutes but she convinced Katie just to take the left side of her queen-size bed. It wasn't as if they hadn't shared a bed before in the past.

It was nearly ten o'clock in the morning and over two hours since Sara had called in a personal day to the magazine office where she worked. Katie needed a day to take her mind off of things and she was going to make sure and give it to her. There had to be something they could do in a city like Boston. That is, if Katie ever decided to wake up.

Flipping on the television, she surfed through the channels, stopping when she finally reached something interesting. A quiet laugh behind her made her glance back. Katie stood half awake behind her, arms crossed over her chest. She nodded at the television.

"I can't believe you still watch _The Golden Girls_."

"If I remember correctly, I got you into it as well." Sara smirked at her and received an eye roll in exchange.

"Kind of hard not to when it was on our dorm room TV 24/7."

"Gee, you're not exaggerating or anything. There's coffee if you want some."

"God, I think I love you." Katie poured herself a mug and sipped with her eyes closed. Sara studied her for a moment, glad to see she'd gotten some of the color back in her face.

Opening her eyes, Katie grinned. "I missed my morning coffee over the last few days."

Sara laughed at her. "We can hook you up on IV."

Nodding, Katie came over and sat down carefully on the couch, trying hard not to spill the full cup. "Thanks for letting me stay here."

"I should smack you for thinking you need to thank me. We're friends, Katie. Me casa es su casa."

"Say it in French and I'll know what you mean."

"I don't know French. I know Spanish. We've been over this before." Sara laughed as Katie turned fully to glare at her.

"I know." She grinned then. "So what's the plan for the day? Don't you have to work?"

"Work's for the birds."

"I thought the saying was that the early bird gets the worm."

Sara shook her head and turned to face Katie, resting her elbow on the couch. "Ah, but we both know there's only one cure for a Katie bad day."

Together they smiled. "Shopping."

Katie stared at Sara for another second, before turning back to the television with a smaller smile. "God, I missed you."

"Huh uh. We are not starting that." Sara nodded toward the bathroom. "Go shower so we can get going. Those sales won't last forever."

"Did I ever tell you that you were my favorite college roommate?"

"And what a great honor that is, Kat. Especially since I was your only college roommate. Shower. Now."

Katie grinned into her coffee mug and left the room. Sara watched her leave and shook her head. She couldn't tell for sure how Katie was doing. It'd only taken a month into being her roommate for her to realize that Katie hid her feelings. She also tended to hide from them. Sara could tell that she'd become even worse about it since then, which is why it was no surprise to her when Connor told her about Katie alternating between crying and yelling.

She would bet on anything that Katie never dealt with the kidnapping or anything else that'd happened in the last few weeks. And unfortunately, the McManuses didn't have the experience with her to realize she was bottling everything up.

And Sara knew for a fact that Katie hadn't come to terms with Brett's death. She'd pushed everyone away, including Sara and Peter. Katie had put the blame solidly on the Mafia and she'd reacted with anger because that had always come easier to her. And now she was paying for it. Two years later and she had yet to mourn the loss of her brother.

Damn, they had a lot of work to do today. Sara knew it was up to her to get Katie back before she lost herself again in her emotions. Shopping would only be the beginning to make her open up. _Good thing I have a few more vacation days._

The next episode had started on the television when Sara's cell phone rang. Connor's name was on the caller ID. She answered it with a grin.

"Hello there."

"Hey. How are ye this mornin'?"

"Fine. Your brother has more patience than I thought he would."

"What?" Connor laughed through the phone.

"I was expecting to be woken up by a call."

Connor chuckled again. "He started fuckin' buggin' me ta call awhile ago. I thought maybe ye two would want ta sleep in."

"We're both up now. He doesn't realize Katie has her phone, does he?"

"No, and I think I'll hold that bit of information ta myself for now." Connor's voice became muffled. Sara heard him shushing Murphy in the background. "I'll tell ye later, idiot. I'm on the fuckin' phone here."

"So much for that secret." Sara smiled.

"Maybe. We'll see what I can do. What are ye planning for today?"

"Shopping therapy."

She heard the smile in his voice. "Is this a typical therapy session for ye, Dr. Sara?"

"With Katie, yes. She'd do the same for me."

"Would ye want ta meet for supper tonight?"

Sara grinned. "Are you asking me out, Connor?"

"Are you saying yes, Sara?"

"I'm saying maybe." She shot a glance behind her, making sure Katie was still in the bathroom. "Let's see how Katie's dealing later."

"How is she right now?"

Sara heard muffled thumps before she could answer and just smiled when she heard Murphy's voice.

"Is Katie okay?"

"She's fine, Murphy. She's been almost cheerful this morning."

"Good. Tell her hi for me. And Sara, do me a favor?"

"Yes?"

"Take care of her for me." His tone was light but she knew he was worried.

Sara smiled at the phone. "I will. You take care of your brother for me. And tell me if anything else happens. I have a feeling Connor's been holding back and sugar-coating things for me."

"Aye, that I'll do. Between you and me, Sara, we'll keep'em under control." Murphy started laughing and Sara heard another few thumbs followed by a muffled 'ow!'. Connor came back on the phone.

"Sorry 'bout me dumbass brother."

"But I'm starting to like your brother, Conn."

"Christ, ye've teamed up with him, haven't ye?"

Laughing, she nodded even though she knew he couldn't see her. "Don't worry, Connor. We'll take care of you."

"That's what I'm fuckin' worried about. Perhaps I should have a bit of a conversation with Katie meself."

"Be my guest." Sara glanced behind her again. "She's not as devious as I am."

"But yer forgettin' Sara, that I am."

"And that's why I like you so much."

He laughed softly. "Now that's good ta know. Just call me if ye want ta do supper. You two have fun shoppin'."

"We will. Bye, Connor." Sara hung up the phone, fully aware of the goofy grin on her face. She jumped as Katie came into sight, laughing softly.

"Man, you're a goner."

"What?" Sara crossed her legs and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Big goofy smile, blushing cheeks. There's no hope left."

"As if you have any room to talk."

"What do you know?" Katie perched on the couch arm.

"I have a source who tells me all."

"You can hardly claim Connor as a source. And who says he's reliable?"

Sara laughed at her. "He has been so far."

Katie threw a pillow at her before sinking on the couch next to her. "I'm ready to leave when you are."

"Honey, I was ready yesterday."

"And yet, somehow, you're never on time for anything."

Sara hit her back with the pillow and stood up from the couch. "And that one was an oldie but a goodie from Katie's collection of complaints from 1995 and 1996." She grabbed her keys and grinned. "You know, Katie. I think somehow I missed you too."

* * *

"Okay, so let's mark down everything that's happened of any relevance with the Mafia." Da leaned forward in his chair and looked at Connor, who nodded.

"Murph, grab a pen and some paper."

"What makes me the fuckin' secretary?"

"Ye've got such pretty fuckin' handwritin'." Connor laughed as he dodged Murphy's hand.

"Boys, we've got ta concentrate here." Da sighed. Both Murphy and Connor calmed down. Connor sat down on the couch and Murphy grabbed a pen and the notepad from the counter.

"Ready."

"Okay, how far back are we goin', Da?"

"Well, Smecker said they started communicatin' two months ago. Let's start there." Da clasped his hands together. "We were still in New York City then."

"Da, did we actually keep any fuckin' track of our jobs?" Murphy frowned as he started writing.

"Well, no. We'll have ta guess."

"Would our jobs be very important though?" Connor glanced at both of them. "Wouldn't the other things that have happened be more likely to tell us something?"

"But we'll write it all down." Da nodded at Murphy, who sighed.

"Did anything unusual happen in New York? I'm drawin' a fuckin' blank here."

"Okay, so it won't be in order." Connor pointed out. "Let's just start listin' and we'll put it in order later."

"Would finding Katie then count as unusual?"

Da scratched his beard and looked at Murphy. "Well, we've never found hostages before." Connor noticed that Murphy frowned at the word 'hostages' but kept silent about it.

"Write it down then." He nodded at his brother. "Three days later, someone followed her here. They had already connected her to us at that point. And they left the messages for us."

"Have we decided what they mean?" Da looked between the two of them. Nobody spoke up. "_Saints Beware_ was pretty fuckin' generic. Beware of what?"

"We thought it was just a basic threat."

Connor nodded as Murphy spoke but pointed his finger at him. "But what if they were warnin' us ta beware of Katie. Of involvin' ourselves with her. Based on what came after, that might make sense."

"Which means maybe they didn't want ta battle with us at that point." Da nodded in agreement. "And the second message makes sense there, too. It points directly ta the lass."

"And makes us want ta make sure she doesn't end up like Rocco." Murphy added.

The three of them were silent for a moment as they thought about this. Connor glanced at Murphy and found his brother meeting his gaze. They nodded together. The mobsters had wanted to deal with Katie alone, without the protection of the Saints. And they had simply brought her closer to them.

"I guess they fuckin' up there."

"Aye, I'd say so." Connor smiled slightly.

"And when we didn't back away, they called in the Russians. Why not handle it themselves?" Da said.

"Why not? The fuckin' Russians hate us more than anybody. More backup for them?" Murphy frowned as Connor shook his head at him.

"But they'd be afraid that the Russians would take over. They're known for it."

"Perhaps they're not giving' the Russians as much leeway as we're thinkin'."

"Meaning?"

Da looked at Connor to answer. "Meaning the Russians might be the weak spot. The latest comin' in and the least trusted. It's not unknown for the Italian families ta work together. Even the Fertittas and the Yakavettas."

"But what do we do with that information?" Murphy sighed, setting the pen down to run his hand over his head. Da leaned back and shrugged.

"We'll take it ta Smecker. The man knows more about this than we do."

Da pulled out a cigar and lit it, taking a few puffs. Connor put his feet up on the coffee table, linking his hands behind his head.

"Ye know what would make this a lot easier?"

"What?"

"If we knew what Katie knows that's so fuckin' important."

Murphy shook his head slowly. "She doesn't even fuckin' know."

"Aye, but maybe that should be our project. Ta figure out."

"No. She's got more than fuckin' enough right now ta worry about. We're not gonna add this ta the pile."

Connor smiled. "We could always just write her a fuckin' note." He lost his smile as Murphy just stared back at him. His brother got up and walked from the room. "Murph! I'm was just fuckin' jokin' with ye."

Da just shook his head at him with Connor glanced over. "Ye should know better than ta mess with yer brother like that."

"Aye, and he should know better than ta take me seriously." Connor pressed his lips together before sighing heavily. "Christ. Things were so much fuckin' easier just a few days ago."

"Just give it another couple of days, m'boy."

"At the fuckin' rate we're going, we could be in the middle of a fuckin' mob war in another couple'a days."

Sara watched Katie's smile start to fade as the afternoon went on.Shopping used to take her mind off of things. More than once after she'd heard from Brett, a trip to the mall was the perfect way to bring her mood back up. No matter how low hearing from her older brother made her feel.

* * *

Katie's brother Brett had always been a sore point for Sara. She wouldn't admit to her friend, but she'd never liked Katie's older brother. By the time that Sara met him, Brett was already knee deep in the mob and sinking fast. He'd long since left the responsibility of the keeping the family house up to Peter and Katie. Brett was the reason that Katie nearly quit school and moved home their junior year.

When he'd come to visit Katie up at school, he'd fall into the older brother routine with ease. In those moments, Sara liked him. She liked how his presence seemed to relax Katie, make her less serious and more like a college student. But then he would leave again and through the bits and pieces that Katie told her, she found that Brett was back to being mobster #1, the peon of the Fertitta's family. The very family who had killed his parents.

Sara knew that Brett had cared quite a bit about both Peter and Katie, but she also knew that he would never have given up the life he'd fallen into with the mob. He had gone in for revenge but never ended up getting it. Instead, he had died in the middle of a police raid because he raised a gun to a cop. The Brett that he had become was not the Brett that Katie liked to remember.

Peter, on the other hand, was the anti-thesis of Brett. He was the one who did everything in his power to make sure Katie could stay in school. And he was the one who saw Brett's downward spiral for what it was. Sara knew that he had kept the real events of their brother's death from Katie, and while she didn't agree with him, she understood why. They had thought it had worked until two months after the funeral and only five days after their college graduation, Katie moved to New York City.

_That's when I thought I'd lost her. _Sara watched Katie browse slowly through the racks of clothing in the clearance area. After both she and Peter had tried to talk Katie out of it, she gave up and decided to give her friend space. Space turned into months and except for the occasional contact with Peter, Sara's connection with Katie had been broken.

"You know, I think I'm ready to give up." Katie's voice floated over and pulled Sara back to her. Sara smiled at the mild pout on Katie's face, knowing she didn't even realize she was doing it.

"I think we've got enough for awhile." Sara nodded down at the half dozen bags they each carried. She smiled at Katie and felt better when she received a small one back.

"Let's go home, drink cocktails and gossip."

"You read my mind." Katie grinned fully and followed Sara out of the store. They jumped on the subway and managed to get back to Sara's apartment in the nicer part of South Boston in a relatively short period of time.

They collapsed with their bags on the couch, each sitting lopsided and leaning against the back of it. Sara played with the remote control in her hand but didn't turn the television on. She had a feeling they were going to need to approach the subject soon.

"Connor called earlier. He said we could go to supper with them if we wanted to."

Katie stayed quiet for a moment before she looked up at Sara. "Did you want to?"

"It's up to you."

"Sara, I just…"

"It's fine, Kat."

Katie smiled. "It's so odd to hear you call me that."

"Does it bother you?" Sara frowned at her. Katie shook her head quickly.

"No, no it doesn't bother me. It makes me remember how simple things used to be."

"Katie, you've never been simple." Sara teased.

Katie didn't respond, instead staring off at the front door. "Do you know how much I just want to bury my head in the sand? Pretend all this hasn't happened?"

"Pretend you never met Murphy?"

She raised her eyes to Sara then and paused only slightly before shaking her head slowly. "And there's the fly in the ointment."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

Sara sighed and shifted on the couch. "Well, what are your options?"

"Leave. Stay. Hide. Fight." Katie's voice had taken on a monotone quality to it that worried Sara.

"Would leaving solve anything?"

"Yeah, it'd make sure no one else gets screwed over in this fucked up mess."

Sara stared at her. "And what makes you think Murphy would let you just go? Or that Connor would either?"

Keeping her eyes on the pillow in front of her, Katie leaned back. "You could keep them from looking for me."

"Fuck that. I'd help them look. Consider that option out."

"Whatever."

"Katie." Sara put her hand on Katie's arm. She kept her eyes on the pillow. "Please."

Katie pushed her hand up and stood up, throwing the pillow back on the couch. "What other fucking option do I have, Rosie?"

"Stay. Either hide or fight, but stay."

"Stay for what?" Katie was calm but her words became shaky as she kept going. "There is no future with Murphy if he dies because of me. They could all die because of me. Is that really what you want? Do _you_ want to die because of me? Fuck that! If these mobsters want me, they can come find me alone." Turning, Katie walked quickly to the balcony and stepped outside, slamming the door behind her.

Sara stood up slowly, keeping her eyes on the balcony. Her blinds hid most of the view, but she could see where Katie was through the lines between them. Her hand shook slowly as she pulled her cell phone out of her purse. For once, Sara had no idea what to say to Katie. This was not something she could make better on her own.

Hitting Connor's number on speed dial, she bit her lip as it rang.

"You were almost too late to join us for dinner." She could tell he was smiling. Fuck, she hated taking that away from him. "Hello?"

"Hey. If you want to do supper, we might just need to order in from here."

"Sara, what's wrong?"

She was surprised at the tears that came at that moment, making her voice thick as she answered. "Maybe you and Murph better come over."

"Hey, what happened?" The fear was clear in his voice. She shook her head and forced herself to swallow hard.

"We're both fine. I don't know why I'm crying. I just...I can't get through to her." She covered her mouth, trying to hide the sobs. His silence told her he heard anyway.

"Shh, Sara. It'll be okay. We'll be there as soon as we can be." He was trying to sound confident and soothing, she could tell, but it wasn't working. She needed him there in person for that to work.

"Thanks, Connor. And don't let Murphy panic. My tears don't really mean anything."

He sighed. "Sara, your tears mean everything. We'll be there soon."

She pushed the end button and held the phone to her chest. The tears were falling freely now but she continued to stare at the unmoving outline of Katie. She'd just found her. She couldn't lose her again.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, her doorbell rang and Sara ran to open it. Murphy moved in first, putting his hand on her shoulder and looking around quickly.

"She's on the balcony." Sara nodded towards the door. Murphy gave her a small smile and rubbed his hand over the back of his head. He glanced at Connor.

"Conn, gimme yer jacket."

"Okay." Connor slid it off with a slight frown and handed to Murphy. Sara watched Murphy pause just slightly before walking to the balcony and stepping out onto it. She felt Connor's arms slid around her and she turned in his arms.

"Sorry for scaring you."

"Ye didn't scare me. Ye worried me."

"Sorry anyhow." She laid her head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heart beating. If Katie's fears came true, Sara would lose him. A shiver went down her spine at the thought and she tried to pull herself closer to him

"Hey, what's wrong?" He leaned his head down and rested his chin against her temple. Sara closed her eyes. She couldn't allow herself to think that. To agree with Katie. To give into the fear.

"I'm scared, Connor. Plain and simple."

"I am too. But we'll be fine."

"That's another thing I like about you." She found herself smiling into his shirt. "Your eternal, baseless optimism."

He leaned down and kissed her. "Then let me say it again. We'll be fine."

* * *

Katie leaned against the cold metal railing, trying to ignore the fact that she was freezing. She didn't care. Couldn't care. There were bigger things to worry about. And going inside meant she'd have to face Sara. And that wasn't something she was ready for yet.

The door slid open behind her but she ignored it. She was surprised though that Sara had anything left to say to her. Especially after she'd acted like that.

A heavy coat settled across her shoulders and she pulled it around her without thinking. It smelled familiar. But before she could place it, she heard him behind her.

"Ye've got ta be freezin', Katie." Murphy's sigh behind her made her turn quickly.

He just glanced at her briefly before turning back to study the skyline view. When he made no move to touch her, Katie was relieved and somehow disappointed. She could continue to pretend that she could live without him, if only he didn't touch her.

"I'm fine, Murph." She joined him in staring at the city below. The sound of car horns and loud motors on the streets below filled the silence.

After a moment, she felt him move beside her. She was surprised when he held a white envelope out to her. Taking it, she frowned at him.

"What this?"

"Yer paycheck. Doc gave it ta me last night ta get to ye."

"Last night?" She opened the envelope and was surprised to find it had cash in it instead of a check.

"Yeah, the three of us and Smecker went ta McGinty's for a pint after ye left."

"Murph, I can't believe you're just giving me this money. Aren't you afraid that I'll just use it to leave town?" She felt angry again and didn't know why. Was he encouraging her to leave?

"Christ, Katie. It's yer fuckin' money. Ye've got every right ta do with it as ye choose." He leaned against the railing, away from her. She noticed he still hadn't touched her. Sighing lightly, she slipped the money into the coat pocket and put her hands in either side.

"So ye're still wantin' ta leave." He said it as a statement, giving her no room to answer. Pushing away from the railing in frustration, she turned to look at him. He faced her with his arms crossing, his face shadowed in the moonlight.

"Don't you understand, Murph? If they're gonna find me, I'm not going to make it easy for them to find you guys too."

"Katie, they've fuckin' found us already. And they've got their sights set on us too. You leaving won't fuckin' change that."

"How can you be so fucking sure? Look at where all of my fucking choices have led so far."

"They led ye ta me, Katie." His voice was quiet but she could hear the emotion building in his words. _Finally, some fucking reaction._ Murphy being rational wasn't something she could stand much longer.She continued to stare up at him.

"Yeah, and they may lead you, your brother and your da to the grave. Is that what you fucking want, Murphy? Because I'm not taking that chance."

He grabbed her arm gently as she tried to push past her, forcing her to face him. Sighing, he rubbed his hands over his face. "This isn't fuckin' workin', Katie."

She froze and stared up at him. "What's not working?"

"This. This arguing. Come with me. I think I know where we can find the answer." He took her hand in his and pulled her through the balcony door before she could respond. A surprised Connor and Sara looked up from the couch but Katie barely got to glance at them as Murphy pulled her out the door.

Once they were outside, she tried to take her hand back from him. "Fuck, Murphy. What are you doing?"

He kept walking and only glanced down at her for a second. "Trust me here, Katie. This is what ye need."

"Where are we going?"

"Please. Trust me." He squeezed her hand lightly and she continued to let him pull her along.

They walked the next few blocks in silence and when he stopped, Katie wasn't sure why. He smiled slightly down at her and pointed across the street. Her eyes fell on the church. She realized this must be their church and looked up at him confused.

"Why are we here?"

He let go of her hand and rubbed his hand through his hair. "This…this is where I go when I need ta find peace."

Katie stared up at the church for a moment, taking in the tall steeple and the moonlight reflecting on the stained glass windows. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Murphy bring his thumb to his mouth to start chewing on it. Smiling slightly, she turned to him. "Thank you. Think anyone is here?" _Please say no. Please say no._ She was touched by the idea of it, but didn't know if this was really the answer for her.

"Of course." He grinned and pulled her by the hand through the front door. Once they were inside, he helped her take off the coat. "I'll hold this for ye."

Katie looked around for a moment, unsure of what to do next. He laughed softly and pointed at the confessionals. "Go in. He'll be in, in a moment."

Nodding slowly, she gave him a small smile and walked to the confessional. The wood door on the right hand side opened soundlessly and she stepped into the darkness. _What the hell? I'll give it a try.

* * *

_

Murphy knelt at his normal spot and nodded at the Father as he went by. He was nervous and tried not stare as he watched the priest step into the confessional and close the door softly behind him.

Bowing his head, Murphy realized his right side was cold. It was so odd being here without Connor by his side. But he knew he had a lot to pray about. And a lot to think about. Connor would be there with him next time.

* * *

She forced herself not to jump as the panel slide open, revealing a thick screen between her and the middle of the confessional. Raising her eyes, she saw the profile of the priest.

"Good evening, my child."

"Umm…good evening, Father." Katie sighed and turned to fully look through the screen. "I'm gonna just admit it now. I'm not Catholic."

"Then why are you here to confess?"

"I'm not really. I…well, my friend felt this was the best place to get answers. He brought me here." She shifted on the bench, lifting her knee to her chest and wrapping her arm around it. "He says this is where he finds peace."

"This is a good place to find peace. Why did he feel you needed answers?"

"Well, I've found myself in a complicated situation. I can either leave those I love to keep them safe or stay and hope for the best."

She heard the priest sigh and was surprised to see him turn and look at her. "As a Priest, I am bound to keep confidentiality. You can tell me anything. And with that in mind, I'm going to do something I normally wouldn't do. You're here with Murphy McManus, aren't you?"

Katie nodded. "Yes, Father. He's the friend who brought me."

"And this complicated situation. Would this have anything to do with what he and his family are involved in?"

"Somewhat. I'm afraid I've made my own mess of things though."

"How have you done that, my dear?"

"My family has been affected by the Mafia. They killed my parents years ago, and then my older brother just two years ago. And I thought I wanted revenge."

"It is God's position to bring justice to those who have wronged you, not yours."

"What about the Saints?"

The Priest nodded slightly. "They believe that God has called upon them to do his work. They are simply the conduit through which God strikes at those whose sins are so great."

"But what about those who they don't reach?"

"All men will be judged one day. Even those who escape the wrath of the Saints."

"And what about the Saints, Father? Three different mob families are working together to find them."

"God has a plan for them."

"So they'll be okay? He'll keep them alive?"

"Whatever happens is God's will. Remember that. And God has a plan for you too."

"But how do I know what his plan is? Everything I know tells me that me staying will just endanger them more."

"Your head knows all of the potential outcomes, my child. But your heart knows the only real solution."

Katie nodded slightly. "What if my heart is wrong?"

The Priest leaned forward and she saw his gentle smile through the screen. "My dear, your heart can never be mistaken. God speaks through the heart. Listen to him and you'll never go wrong."

She bit her lip and stared through the screen for a moment before sitting up all the way. "Thank you, Father. You've been a big help."

"I'm glad. Come back anytime, my child."

Smiling, Katie opened the door and saw Murphy's dark hair toward the back of the pews. She watched him for a moment, realizing she had never seen him pray before. The McManuses never hid their faith, but at the same time, she realized they never preached it either. It was simply a part of them so ingrained they assumed everyone else was the same. _Which is why he just assumed I was Catholic._ She grinned as he looked up and caught her watching him.

He kept his eyes on hers as he stood and she felt the intensity of his stare. _He's terrified. _ She watched him approached and realized that this had been his last hope. A lump caught in her throat but she offered him a smile as he got close enough.

"How'd it go?"

"Good." She took a deep breath and then smiled more. Stepping forward, she kissed him gently and felt his arms go around her. "You're the sweetest guy I've ever met, Murph."

He looked down into her eyes for a moment, as if he was trying to read her mind. "Did it work?"

"It seems that everyone agrees with you. And I can't exactly argue with the opinion of a priest."

"Thank God." He breathed, closing his eyes for a moment. She smiled up at him, running her fingers across his chin.

"Yeah, I guess he had something to do with it too."

Murphy grinned at her but didn't respond to that. "Let's go."

He took her hand and led her out of the church, stopping once he got outside. "Katie, I just want you to know. I didn't bring ye here ta convince ye. I brought ye here to find peace, no matter what ye decided."

She nodded. "I know that, Murph. I made the decision on my own. The Father said what happens is God's will. And I think that God's will right now is for me to stay with you."

Murphy stared at her for a moment before he leaned her back against the brick wall of the church, his mouth capturing hers instantly. His kisses were harder, rushed and exactly what Katie wanted. She put one hand on his shoulder and slipped the other just below the neckline of the back of his shirt. His arms pulled her even closer and his tongue worked its way into her mouth. Her heart was racing but she pulled away as one of his hands slipped beneath her shirt and began working its way up.

"Murph." She laughed softly and looked up into his eyes. "We're in front of a church."

His grin made her love him even more. "Christ, I forgot." He trailed his hand back down out of her shirt and settled it on her waist instead. Kissing her again softly, he smiled against her lips. "We could go back to the apartment. We have a couple hours before Connor'll get worried."

"I wouldn't want to rush us." She felt the rumble of his laughter as she smiled and kissed him again. Running her thumb along the whiskers on his chin, she shook her head. "Seriously, though. I've never felt quite this way before, so I don't want to just go home and 'do it.' It needs to be special."

Murphy stared at her for a second before nodding. He leaned his forehead against hers with a smile. "Yer right. I want ta do this the right way." Running his fingers gently down her face, he hooked her chin up toward him and kissed her slowly, lingering.

She melted against him, pulling away from his lips and laying her head on his chest. "God, I love you, Murphy." She felt him freeze slightly and then his arms tightened around her.

"Ye don't know how much I've been wantin' ta hear ye say that."

She lifted her head and looked up at him, confused. "I thought you did hear me."

Shrugging, he brushed stray hairs away from her eyes. "The things in my head from that night are fuckin' confused, mixed together. I didn't know what was real and what I dreamed. I took a fuckin' chance." He kissed her temple. "I love you, too."

Katie took his face in her hands and pulled him down so she could kiss his forehead. "I'm sorry for leaving."

He smiled down at her. "Ye just did what yer head and yer heart told ye to." Pressing his lips together, he tilted his head to the side. "What do they say now?"

"Honestly?"

"Of course."

"My head says that I'm still putting all of you in unnecessary danger."

"And yer heart?"

She kissed him lightly. "To never let you out of my sight again."

He pulled her to him again. "Please, please. Listen ta yer heart, Katie."

"I'm trying."

* * *

"I told ye we had plenty of time." Murphy's laughing voice was soft but in hearing it, Connor pulled away from where he stood between Sara's legs as she sat on the counter. Her arms stayed around him and they both looked toward the front door, finding both Katie and Murphy grinning at them. Connor felt himself flush a little and knew Sara had to be embarrassed too. _Christ, it's not like we're fuckin' not fully clothed here._

Connor smiled back and nodded slightly. "Uh, ye're back. Already."

"We can go get a drink or something…come back later…" Katie bit her lip to hide another smile. Connor watched her exchange a glance with his brother. _Something's changed._

Shaking his head, he grinned back up at Sara. She sighed and trailed her arms down his shoulders. He stepped away and held his hand out to her to help her jump back down off of the counter.

"Nope. We were just...well…" He laughed when Murphy just shook his head at him.

"Give it up, Conn. There is no way of fuckin' hidin' it." Murphy took Katie's hand in his own, leading her to sit next to him on the couch.

"So, where did you two rush out of here to?" Sara smiled at both of them before giving Connor a confused look. He just shrugged back. He knew Murphy had had something planned when they came over. But he had no idea what. _Whatever it was must have worked._

"Well, Murph took me to find peace." Katie grinned at him and he just laughed softly.

"I took her to the church. I thought an outside perspective might help."

"Ye took her ta fuckin' confession? Christ, Murph, she's not even Catholic." Connor chuckled as Murphy turned to stare at Katie. She shrugged and laughed quietly.

"Why didn't ye tell me?" Murphy shook his head and brought their joined hands onto his knee.

"It was such a sweet idea. I didn't want to ruin it for you." She leaned her head against him.

"Jesus woman, we've barely begun anything and ye're already lying ta me."

"I didn't lie, Murph." She grinned as he just laughed. Pointing a finger at him, she leaned close and kissed him. "You simply assumed."

"Wait!" Sara held up a hand and glanced between the two of them. "So what does this all mean?"

"That I belong here. And I was an idiot to think I could leave." Katie smiled at her and reached out her hand when Sara's eyes began to fill with tears.

"Good. Took a priest to talk sense into you."

"Took a priest to make sense to me." Katie said back.

Connor leaned forward and nodded toward the door when he caught Murphy's eye. "We'd better get back. Da'll be wonderin' where we are." He took Sara's hand and leaned down to kiss her. She put her arms around his neck.

"Thanks."

"No, thank you." He smiled back and kissed her again. Stepping away he nodded at Murphy and Katie. "Let's go, guys."

Murphy kept his hold on Katie's hand and Connor couldn't help but smile. But as they reached the door, she stopped and shook her head.

"You two go home. I want to stay here."

Murphy turned to her, frowning. Connor could see the tension was back in his shoulders. "Why?"

Katie leaned up and kissed him again, softly. "I think Sara and I need to catch up. I'll be back home tomorrow night."

There was a slight pause before Murphy nodded. He hugged her quickly and then gave Sara a smile.

"Thanks, Sara." With that he turned and opened the door. Connor nodded at the both of them.

"Night girls." He closed the door slowly behind him, managing to hear Katie laugh softly.

"So what was this about cocktails and gossip?"

Closing the door, he turned and saw Murphy watching him with a raised eyebrow.

"How did ye know she wasn't Catholic?"

Connor grinned and clapped his brother on the back. "Open yer fuckin' eyes Murph. Not everybody is fuckin' Catholic. But I'm sure you can get her ta become one of us."

Murphy just smiled back at Connor with silence as his only answer. They slipped outside into the cold for the long walk home.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Finally! I got the chapter completed. And my muse is back and I'm deep into the next chapter! Just a forewarning: Chapter 18 and 19 are rated M! Keep that in mind! I'll always post warnings up before the chapters that are above 'T' rating. Thanks so much for being patient with me! I shouldn't take that long again for a chapter (keep your fingers crossed). Thank you for all the great reviews! **

The next morning came too soon for Katie and she found herself alone in Sara's apartment. There was a note left on the kitchen table for her. She paused only slightly before stepping forward to reach it, not missing the recent rise in significance of notes in her life.

_Kat-_

_Had to go into work. We'll_

_meet for lunch with the boys. _

_Your clothes are in the washer._

_Maybe you'll start a trend of _

_wearing the same clothes multiple _

_days in a row.  Call me._

_Love,_

_Sara_

_Lunch? _Frowning, Katie looked at the clock and saw it was nearly eleven o'clock. Her eyes widened and she looked back at the clock again. Somehow, she'd managed to sleep most of the morning.

Hurrying back to the washer, she pulled her clothes out and threw them in the dryer. As she grabbed a towel from Sara's hall closet, she heard her phone ringing from the bedroom. Despite feeling rushed, Katie smiled and sat down on the bed when she saw who was calling.

"Morning."

"Mornin' Katie. Wanna go ta lunch?" Murphy's voice came through the phone softly and she could tell he was smiling.

"I can't. I'm already meeting someone special for lunch."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. He may be Irish, but I love him anyway." She grinned as she heard him chuckle.

"So yer meetin' me brother for lunch, huh?"

Katie laughed out loud. "Well, of course. I've been told I must get his approval of me first."

"Aye, but I think ye've got it. Mind if I join ye for lunch?"

"I suppose." She tried to sigh but laughed again instead.

"Good, how about I pick ye up soon?"

"Uh…how soon?" She glanced at the clock on Sara's side of the bed. It was ticking closer to 11:15.

"Twenty minutes?"

"Make it a half hour, I kinda overslept." Ending the call, Katie grabbed the towel again and ran to the bathroom. She had to hurry if she was going to be ready in a half hour.

Twenty-five minutes later, a knock on the door told her that Murphy was early. She pulled on her still slightly wet jeans and walked to the door. Opening it, she found him leaning against the outer door frame with a grin.

"Ye look rushed."

"You look early." She crossed her arms over her chest. Murphy just laughed and held out a folded t-shirt of hers.

"Forgive me?"

"Thank you! I didn't even think to ask you to bring clothes." She took the t-shirt and hugged him quickly. His arms wrapped around her and held her there, and he leaned his chin on her shoulder.

"You're welcome."

Katie allowed herself to enjoy being in Murphy's arms for a moment before she pulled back. "I've got to get ready to-"

Her words were cut off as he kissed her softly. She lifted her hand to hold the back of his head and kissed him back before he could pull away. His hand reached under her shirt but settled at her waistline, his thumb making soft circles. She leaned more fully against him. It was only when she made a soft sound, somewhere between a sigh and a moan, did he move away.

Leaning his forehead against hers, he laughed softly. "We better stop now. They're expectin' us soon."

"Just let me change into this." Katie stepped back reluctantly and held up her finger. "One minute, I promise."

Murphy nodded and waited at the open door.

* * *

The morning was creeping by for Sara, so it was to her delight when she looked up to find Connor in the doorway of her office, watching her. He smiled at her and slowly walked through the doorway. 

"So this is what a workin' woman looks like."

"Impressed?" She leaned back slightly and grinned.

"Intimidated, actually." His voice was teasing, but Sara watched him glance around the room again, his eyes stopping on her framed diploma. This was a new side of Connor that she had yet to see. Him, out of his element. After his eyes finally wandered back to her and he smiled again. "Are ye ready?"

"Sure. But I can only take an hour. Taking yesterday off got me behind." Sara slid her chair out and grabbed her purse from below the desk. She put her hand in his and he leaned down to kiss her.

"Definitely intimidated." He whispered. She caught the humor in his gaze before he turned and led her out the door.

They arrived at the diner first and grabbed a booth near the windowed wall. Sara glanced around and smiled. Connor had suggested they go here and now she could see why. It was exactly his type of place.

She almost leaned over to tell him but stopped when she saw Murphy walk in, pulling Katie behind him. Nudging Connor, she pointed them out.

"Katie must have taken too long."

"Or Murphy is just starved." Connor grinned and waved as his brother looked toward them. With a relieved smile, Murphy continued to pull a laughing Katie with him.

"Christ, you think we were being fucking timed, Murph." Katie slid into the booth first and smiled at both Connor and Sara.

"It's a good thing we weren't." Murphy shook his head at Sara. "Is one minute always translated to ten in Katie language?"

"Wow, she's getting better. It used to mean twenty."

"Well, if someone hadn't distracted me…" Katie laughed as Murphy tried to look innocently at her. Connor shook his head.

"Just stay quiet, Murph. Ye'll lose no matter what ye say."

Sara watched with a smile as Connor winked at Katie. Murphy just smiled and opened his menu, taking Connor's advice. Sara relaxed against the back of the booth, enjoying the contact she had with Connor as she opened her menu. She watched over the top of it as Katie continued to be teased by both Murphy and Connor in turn.

They were glad to have her back, she realized. It was their way of showing it, probably without realizing it. Sara was surprised to find that she didn't feel left out of the obvious bond between the three of them. Instead, she simply felt happy to be able to be included. She moved her eyes back to Katie and found that she was being watched as well. They shared a smile before Katie turned to respond to something Murphy had said.

Sara felt Connor's hand slip into her own underneath the table.

"Ye're quiet."

She turned and smiled up at him. "I'm observing."

"And what do ye see?"

"Love."

He looked at her for a moment before smiling. His response was interrupted as the waitress stepped up to take their orders. Sara laughed as Murphy exchanged banter with the waitress, as he'd clearly done before. As the waitress shook a finger at both Murphy and Connor, Sara glanced around the table and realized what had kept drawing her eye around the table to begin with. Something had changed. She just hoped it was a change that would have a chance to show itself before something else happened.

* * *

McGinty's was quiet as Murphy, Connor and Katie walked in later that afternoon. They had all walked Sara back to work and then had gone back to the apartment with nothing else to do for the day. After a second James Bond movie followed the first, Katie had groaned and suggested McGinty's instead. 

Doc sat on a stool behind the bar and smiled widely as the three of them walked in. "Y-ye just missed y-y-yer D-da."

"Christ, he should consider ownin' half the fuckin' bar for as much as he's down here." Connor laughed and took the stool directly across from where Doc stool was. Murphy sat down next to him and Katie sat on the end. A few of the early regulars nodded at them and Doc got to his feet.

"K-katie, me lass. I'm glad ta s-s-see yer b-back." He walked over and put his hand over hers on the bar. She smiled up at him, noticing he already looked better than he had when she last saw him.

"I'm glad to see you are too, Doc."

"And d-d-d-did ye get things f-figured out?" His gaze turned to Murphy then and Katie just grinned. Murphy saw her smile and nodded.

"We're good. How 'bout a Guinness, Doc?"

"Me, too." Connor nodded at him. Katie shook her head at Doc's inquiring glance.

"A screwdriver for me, please."

"What is it with you and that drink?" Murphy laughed. She shrugged.

"Peter once went on a drunken lecture about the benefit of orange juice and vodka. You can get drunk and stay healthy at the same time. The bizarre logic of it kinda stuck with me." She grinned with both Murphy and Connor shook their heads and laughed.

"And we're drinkin' Guinness for our daily barley intake." Connor winked at her and took a drink from his mug. She made a face at him.

"I think I'm looking forward ta meetin' this brother of yers." Murphy added. Katie lost a little of her smile and bit her lip. She took a drink.

"If I can find him."

"We'll find him, Katie." Connor leaned forward and at her. He put an elbow on the counter. "Smecker's still diggin'."

She forced herself to smile and nodded at Connor. "Okay."

"What are ye gonna do when ye find him, anyhow?" Murphy glanced at her.

"Make sure he's okay and then kick his ass."

"Sp-spoken like a t-t-rue older sister." Doc's voice floated down the bar and he grinned at her.

"Sounds like you know from experience."

"Two older s-sisters. I c-cau-cau…I got it from th-them more than once." Doc turned slightly away. "FUCK! ASS!"

"Older sisters know what they're talkin' about. You should've listened to them." She smiled at him.

"They'd have j-j-just b-been afta me fer somethin' else."

"Okay. That's true."

Doc was distracted then as two more patrons came in then and sat down at the bar. The crowd started getting off of work and after another few minutes, Katie, Murphy and Connor moved away from the bar to one of the booths.

Katie found herself people watching again, half-listening to the conversation the boys were having about some of the patrons. Several of them were known for fighting, especially while in the bar at the same time.

Beer flowed from the taps and Katie could feel the tension rising and falling with the moods and arguments of the men at the bar. The more she was in McGinty's, the more she realized that an Irish pub was a living and breathing thing, ebbing and flowing with life as long as the doors were open for business. She watched again as Doc broke up an argument between the same two men and then had a pint with them as a peace offering. God, she'd learned to love the Irish.

However, as the place got busier, Katie also noticed a change in both of the boys. They'd tensed up and become a little more aware. It was quite possible someone in this crowd had been involved in what had happened on St. Patty's. Looking at the brothers, she smiled slightly.

They dealt with their tension in different ways. Connor had leaned back on his side of the booth, seemingly opening himself up to the bar. It also put him in a position where he could see everything going on. Murphy, on the other hand, sat forward in his seat, blocking most of her view of the bar with his body. His elbows were on the table on either side of his pint and his eyes were wandering the room. With their two positions combined, Murphy and Connor could now keep an eye on the entire bar without making it obvious that that's what they were doing.

Katie laughed softly and shook her head, draining the last of her drink. Murphy glanced at her and smiled. "What?"

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you two were the most relaxed patrons in this bar."

"Who says we aren't?"

"Me. If you want to leave, we can."

Murphy shook his head and exchanged a look with Connor. "We're on a mission."

"Okay, 007. Who's the spy?"

"If we knew, we wouldn't be watchin'." Connor chuckled, putting his arm back up on the back of the booth seat. His eyes were focused up on the bar again.

"Are you trying to catch someone doing something?"

"No, we're just tryin' ta fuckin' keep 'em from doing it again."

"This place was packed that night. It could have been anyone."

"Yeah, exactly."

Katie sighed and nudged Murphy. "I'm gonna go get something else. You two want anything?"

They both shook their heads and Murphy slid out of the booth to let her out. She made a face at Doc when she got there. "Humm…actually, can I just get a Coke?"

Doc nodded and filled a glass for her quickly, setting it in front of her before turning back to another patron. Katie grabbed a few cherries from the other side of the bar and headed back to the table.

Connor and Murphy had gotten up and were talking to a few other guys who looked a little older. One of them, a short balding man seemed to know them quite well. Katie sat her drink down on the table and started to sit down. She grinned as she saw Murphy reach over with a smirk and knock his fist lightly on the shiny part of the man's head. The loud laughter floated over.

Connor happened to look up and motioned her over. "Katie, this is our old boss."

"So yer the lass I've been hearin' about. Which one of these fuckers reeled ye in?" The man grinned up at her and she couldn't help but laugh. She glanced at both Murphy and Connor who gave her no help.

"Ha, I'm just keeping their hopes up." She winked at the man and turned felt her cheeks start to turn red as the whole table burst out laughing. Eying the table, she smiled realizing now they were all listening. "And now that I've sufficiently embarrassed myself, I'm gonna go sit down."

A hand landed on her shoulder as she turned to go and she found Murphy grinning down at her. He nodded toward the table and followed her over. "So yer keepin' me hopes up, huh?"

"Well, I'd hardly want to dash your hopes now." She smiled but as she looked up at him again, she realized he wasn't listening. Nodding toward the table, he raised an eyebrow on her.

"Ye left yer drink here, Katie."

"It was just for a second."

"A second too long." He grabbed her drink and walked up to the bar, leaving her sighing at the booth. Connor walked over then and looked at her.

"What's the fuck's goin' on?"

"I left my damn drink here and Murphy's having a fucking fit about it." She glared at Connor as he tapped the back of her head with his palm before moving past her. "What the fuck was that for?"

"Katie." He just looked at her. "Shut it." He nodded slightly toward Murphy who was on his way back with a new Coke for her.

She took the drink from him with a nodded thanks and kept her eyes on the table, stuck between being angry and feeling guilty. Connor had a point but he hadn't needed to be an ass about it.

All three of them were silent for a few minutes before Murphy finally sighed. "Let's just fuckin' get goin'."

Connor nodded. "I don't really feel like bein' at a pub tonight."

Together, they finished their beers and looked pointedly at Katie who rolled her eyes. She drank the rest of her Coke quickly and followed Murphy out of the booth.

On the way home, she kept silent and listened as Connor called Sara quickly. Murphy didn't speak either but he did take her hand as the darkness settled as they got closer to home.

As they reached the hallway of their apartment building, the smell of cigars had permeated the air. Da sat in his chair and a serious looking Smecker sat with a lit cigarette on the couch nearest him. They both looked up as the three walked in. Murphy and Connor exchanged a look.

"What's goin' on, Da?" Connor sat in the other chair and leaned forward.

"We've got a job in New York City."

"When?" Murphy asked. He let go of Katie's hand and slipped off his coat, setting it over one of the table chairs.

"Tomorrow mornin'."

Katie watched from where she continued to stand near the door. Murphy sat on the other end of the couch and both twins turned to look at Smecker. He leaned forward and put out his cigarette.

"They're getting closer to working together. We need to strike now." Getting to his feet, he nodded at Da and headed toward the door. "I'll see you tomorrow." He pulled his coat off of another chair and patted Katie on the shoulder as he walked past. The door shut on a silent apartment.

She couldn't watch them fidget any longer. Putting her own coat neatly over a chair, Katie walked to the kitchen and pulled out four beers. Setting them on the coffee table, she crossed her legs and looked at Da.

"What are the specifics, Da?"

He gave her a small smile, seeming surprised that she'd spoken up. The sound of the other two beers being opened filled the air before he answered.

"The number of those connected with the Fertitta's in the area has gone up by more than 50 in the last week alone. Something's gearing up."

"So we're hittin' them in their fuckin' home." Murphy sighed.

"Aye."

"If nothin' else that'll get them the fuck out of here."

"How do you figure that, Connor?" She shook her head. When they went into their 'Saint's mode' it was hard to follow them at times. Their minds seemed to be so in tune that they rarely had to explain it to each other. But she was lost and it had become important to her in the last few minutes to understand.

"They'll think we've moved on ta New York City."

"A red herring." She nodded and received a grin from Murphy.

"Exactly." He lost a little of his smile as he stared at her for a moment. She forced herself to finally look away, swallowing the lump that had started to form in her throat.

Da's movement distracted her as he got to his feet. "I've got ta go talk ta Doc before we leave. He can keep his ear ta the ground while we're gone."

Both Connor and Murphy nodded and they all watched him leave. For a few moments, nobody said a word. Katie finally sighed and turned to face them both.

"I thought you were taking a break."

"We've got ta do something. Otherwise, a fuckin' war is gonna get started." Connor sighed and looked at Murphy. Murphy nodded at him. Katie watched confused as Connor looked between the two of them before he got to his feet. "I'll see ye both tomorrow mornin'."

He grabbed his coat and walked out of the apartment, shutting the door quietly. Katie turned again to look at Murphy. He put his feet up on the coffee table with a sigh before looking at her. He patted the couch next to him. "Sit closer, I won't bite."

Eying him closely for another second, Katie slid over and sat so that she leaned against him. His arm came over her shoulders and she closed her eyes.

"He went to Sara's, didn't he?"

"Aye." His voice was quiet and close to her ear. Looking back up at him, she saw that he had also relaxed with his eyes closed, the beer bottle dangling from his fingertips.

"How long do you think you'll be gone?"

"One, two days tops." He answered without opening his eyes. Smiling slightly, she reached over and pulled the bottle from his hand, setting it on the coffee table near hers. He was watching her with a small smile when she looked back. "Takin' care of me?"

"Somebody has to." The words slipped out before she thought about them and their eyes met.

They looked at each other for the length of a breath before he leaned forward and kissed her softly on the right temple. He then brushed a kiss over the other temple, over her eyes and nose before finally reaching her mouth. The kiss was nearly weightless but Katie still felt the spark of it.

"I'll be fine." He pulled her gently back so that she was leaning against him again. His hand brushed down her hair and made circles on her back. She closed her eyes, listening to the steady beat of his heart. "Tell me about yerself."

Smiling slightly, she sighed. "You already know about me."

"What were you like as a child?"

"I was the bratty middle child and a daddy's girl. I had a high squeaky voice until at least the age of eight, causing my family to call me Minnie Mouse when they were teasing me."

"We could get ye a little bow…" He joked and she elbowed him. Laughing, she leaned back against him. "What else were ye like?"

"Hmmm…well, I basically grew up in a boy's world. With my brothers and all of my guy cousins, let's just say I wasn't afraid of getting dirty. We used to all have these great mud wars near the pond behind our house. Mom got mad at us the first few times but then gave up once she realized we wouldn't quit." Her voice had a soft quality to it. "Poor Peter. He was the youngest for a long while and he was a fairly small boy until he hit a growth spurt the year he turned ten. He got the brunt of everything. Even I picked on him."

"No wonder he found a job where he could carry a gun." He kept his voice low too. Katie laughed again.

"That's exactly what Brett said when he sighed up for the academy." She turned her head toward Murphy. "What about you? I bet you and Connor were little hellions."

"Aye, but we were fuckin' angelic ones." He laughed. "We didn't play mud wars, but we did have a great spyin' game where we'd pick someone in the town and create stories about them. We had some fuckin' great ones too. Uncle Sibeal became an escaped convict in our eyes, despite the fact that he'd hardly ever even left the town. And we decided that Da was also a spy, and that's why he was stuck in the states."

"Why was Da in the states?" Katie asked softly and bit her lip as Murphy paused.

"Well, he probably wouldn't mind if I told ye. He was in prison. Da got caught when we were just toddlers. We didn't meet him again until last year." He grinned. "But I have a feelin' that he and Ma kept in contact over the years. He knew way too fuckin' much about us early on."

"So have you and Connor always been this close?"

"Fuck, we were even closer when we were little. Could hardly stand being separated. So much so that Ma and Uncle Sibeal worried about it. Christ, I remember the one time I went to sleep over at a friend's house without Conn. We watched a scary movie and I was up all night, fuckin' terrified out of me mind. I'm still convinced ta this day that if my brother had been there, I would've been fine. After that, we refused to be separated."

"What about now though?"

He laughed softly. "Well, we grew out of it a bit when we were teenagers. But we still don't like bein' too far away from each other."

"Understandable. You're only half the threat when you're apart." Katie turned to face him fully and laughed at his raised eyebrow. "Just admit it. You and your brother learned how to double team people long ago."

"Maybe."

"Definitely. I've had you two do it to me enough times to know." She pointed a finger at him and then yawned. Squeezing her eyes shut tightly, she tried to will the sleepiness away. It'd been coming in slowly since she'd leaned against him. She could not sleep. Would not sleep.

"Maybe it's time to get some sleep." Murphy sat up a little, keeping his arm around her. She shook her head and sat up fully.

"No. I'm not tired."

"Bullshit. Ye're yawnin'."

"Let's stay up." She smiled at him but he just shook his head.

"Katie, Da'll be pissed at me if I don't make ye get sleep. And he'll kill me if I don't get any. I need ta be alert tomorrow."

She stared at him for a minute, feeling the slight humor of the moment gone. Nodding, she leaned forward.

"Wait, what just happened there?" He bent down to look her in the face.

"I'm tired Murph. But I don't want to go to sleep." She traced the knuckles on his hand and the lump in her throat grew. "Morning will be here soon enough without sleeping through tonight."

He was quiet. Quiet enough that she finally looked over at him. He was staring down at their hands as well but raised his eyes as she watched him. "Katie."

She took a deep breath and ignored the sudden racing of her heart. "Will you sleep in my room with me tonight?"

"I'd hoped to." His smile was warm and he kissed her lightly before standing up. "Just let me grab my pillow."

He was out of the living room before she could say anything else and she rubbed her hands over her face. "Christ." Why was she so fucking nervous all of a sudden?

She stared down at the slight tremor in her hands. Murphy. In her room. For the night. A smile played across her lips. He would be leaving in the morning, but she would be able to hold onto him tonight. Would be able to love him tonight.

Getting to her feet, Katie walked softly down the hall and turned the light on her in room. Her eyes fell on the bed and she couldn't help but smile slightly. _Oh my God._

His hand touched her back softly and she jumped. Kissing the side of her head, he moved past her and slid her pillow over to make room for his on the outside. Sitting down on the bed, he began to untie his shoes. Katie just watched him, unsure of what to do. _Man, it's not like it's my first fuckin' time. Get it together, Katie._ His eyes rose to hers and she felt the butterflies jump in her stomach. She loved him so much.

He kept eye contact as he stood up and moved to her. Smiling slightly, he framed her face with his hands and kissed her again, slowly. She raised her hands to his waist as he pulled back to look at her.

"What's wrong?" His voice was barely a whisper and his eyes were staring down into hers, concerned. "Why are you shaking?" He slipped his arms around her and held her tightly against him. From the tension in his body, Katie realized he thought she was terrified about something.

"Murph, I'm fine. I'm just…" She closed her eyes in embarrassment. How did she explain this? She felt so much in this moment for him, but she was full of nerves too. He moved to look down at her but she kept her eyes closed to avoid his gaze. "I'm just nervous."

He paused in his movements and then he raised his hand to the side of her neck, skimming his thumb along her jaw. "Katie. Open yer eyes."

After taking a deep breath, she looked at him. He was watching her with a mixture of humor and amazement. "What?"

"There's nothing ta be nervous about."

"I just…I've never felt this strongly about anyone. Ever." She ended in a whisper. He smiled slowly at her and trailed his fingers down her back. A shiver danced down the same path.

"Do ye want ta know what I said to you that night in the warehouse?"

"You mean what Connor was asking you about that night?" She kept her eyes on his face and raised her hand to his cheek. He turned his head slightly to kiss her palm.

"Aye." Murphy nodded and his eyes moved away for a second before raising to meet hers against with a new intensity in them. "I promised I'd take care of ye, Katie. And I will. As long as ye'll let me."

His lips met hers with a new sense of urgency. Katie moved her hand to his shoulder and slipped the other underneath his shirt, working it up to pull it off. She could feel the beating of his heart against her fingertips as her hand paused in the act. Kissing him deeper, she moved closer to him. Needed to be closer to him.

He broke their kiss and lifted the shirt over his head and she found herself pressed against the warmth of his bare chest. Her hands worked their way down to his belt but he put his hand to stop her.

"Wait." He breathed against her lips. "Yer turn."

The feeling of his rough fingertips against her skin was a sensation that made her smile. He trailed his hands up her abdomen and the sides of her breasts before lifting her t-shirt over her head. He grinned as he looked down at her. "I knew ye'd be beautiful."

"Murph." She laughed softly and he smiled at her again. Leaning down, he captured her lips again, kissing her deeply. His lips were sweet and gentle, and she worked to keep the tears back as he stopped and leaned his forehead against hers with a small sigh.

"Christ, Katie. I don't know how else ta tell ye." He kept his eyes closed as she stared up at him. Putting both hands on his chest, she moved up and kissed him softly.

"Just tell me then."

She saw the blue of his eyes in the moonlit darkness of the room as he looked back down at her. He licked his lips and raised a hand to her shoulder, sliding it along so that it cupped the back of her neck. With his other hand, he pressed her palm against his chest, over his racing heart.

"I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love me brother. But I love ye that much. Maybe even more." He kissed her and pulled her against him again.

Tears filled her eyes and she leaned her head against his chest. She forced a few deep breaths before looking up at him. "I love you so much, Murphy."

She kissed him softly and felt him kiss back, his lips more demanding this time. The need for him hit her again and she arched herself against him, feeling him moan into her mouth.

His hand had her jeans undone and halfway down before she realized it. She moved her hands to his belt and pulled it off of his jeans, tossing it over her shoulder. He guided her out of her jeans and his kisses became deeper and slower paced again.

Katie felt herself melt against him as he moved his kisses down her face and to her neck. Goosebumps broke out on her body and she tightened her arms around him. He covered her hand at his waist for a moment before he slipped off his own jeans.

Pulling back for a moment, Katie found Murphy staring into her eyes, his smile growing. Brushing the hair back off her face, he crushed his mouth to hers and she moaned softly. She felt him smile against her lips as he continued kissing her and leaned her back on the bed, supported by his arms. Her bra was off and she couldn't remember when he'd slipped it off of her. His mouth wandered to her chest.

She sighed lightly as he left a trail of kisses along her breast bone but moaned as his lips found her nipple. The sensation deep inside her began to build and she pulled him back up so she could kiss him again. Sitting up, she pushed him so that he lay on his back. Pulling her lips away from his, she smiled as she climbed on top of him.

"What should I make you say?" She whispered in his ear and laced her fingers though his. The slight vibration of his laughter went through her body.

"What do ye want me ta say?"

She pursed her lips and then grinned down at him again. "What do you want?"

His eyes wandered down her body and he just smiled. He moved their joined hands up to her waist.

Moving her hips, she rocked against him. Hearing a slight intake of air, she laughed softly. "Murphy, what do you want?"

He sat up quickly and she found herself straddling his lap as his hands spread across her back. "I want you."

His lips meet hers, parting them and his tongue moved in as he deepened the kiss. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and rocked her hips again. She moaned softly with him this time.

She put her hands on his face and trailed one to the back of his neck, making small circles with her finger. He groaned against her lips and deepened the kiss, rolling them both so that she had her back against the bed again.

She opened her eyes again as his lips parted from her and she saw him watching her though the moonlight coming through the windows. He smiled slightly and kissed her temple as his hand whispered caresses down her stomach and across her thigh.

He continued to lay soft kisses across her face as his fingers worked within her, sending her waves of pleasure. She pulled his face down to hers and kissed him desperately. Her hand wandered down his stomach and inside of his boxers, finding him hard. She ran her fingers down his length and squeezed slightly, moaning loudly as his fingers clenched inside of her. He kissed her roughly this time, moving both hands to hold her tightly against him. With shaking hands, she slipped his boxers off of him.

"Now, Murph." She whispered softly and he moved over her, surrounding her body with his. He entered her smoothly and she felt him moan into her mouth. She kissed him harder, pulling him as close as possible and wrapping her arms around his neck. They found a rhythm quickly and their moans echoed softly through the room.

The sensations surrounded her and she could feel his hands caress her as he moved inside of her. She ran her fingers down his back and felt him shudder slightly.

His hands wandered back up her body and he framed her face with his hands again, bringing his mouth to hers. She felt herself nearing the edge and ran her hands down his back again, clasping them together to hold him closer to her. He brought a slightly trembling hand to run through her hair. His whisper was deep. "I love ye, Katie"

She moaned his name and felt the ripples of pleasure run through her as she felt the orgasm. She pulled her arms tightly around him and she felt him climax and relax against her, breathing quickly. He leaned his forehead against hers for a moment, looking down into her eyes. He smiled softly at her.

His lips met hers and the kiss was gentle and sweet. He rolled over onto his back, bringing her with him. She was warm but Murphy felt too good to her at the moment to move away. She laid her head down on his chest and listened as his heart began to slow down. His breathing became deeper.

"I think I can sleep now." She whispered and felt him laugh in response. His arm settled around her and his fingers traced circles on her lower back.

"Glad I could help ye."

"I love you, Murphy." She felt his fingers pause for a second and heard the smile in his voice as he answered.

"I love you too. Now go ta sleep, Katie."

Katie grinned and felt sleep bare down on her as her breaths began to match his. His hand stilled on her back and she welcomed dreams.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Updated 6/3/06. Rynn is back and betaing faster than ever. :) So here's the updated chapter...just a few small changes really. You'll have to look hard to find them. It's a new game:) Or not... **

The first warm rays of the sun wandered in through Sara's windows before she finally gave up on sleeping. Connor was behind her, holding her as close as possible, even in his sleep. With a quiet sigh, she slipped out from under his heavy arm and tiptoed out of the bedroom. She didn't want him to wake up yet. She didn't want him to see her right now. 

Measuring out the water, Sara got the coffee maker started and leaned against the kitchen sink, closing her eyes. The tears came quickly and with the same amount of force she'd been holding them back with all night. Covering her face with her hands, she worked to keep her sobs quiet.

She'd been pleasantly surprised when Connor had knocked on her door the night before, but one look at his face had made her uneasy. With good reason. It'd taken her a few minutes to work the details out of him. Then he had watched her, waiting for a reaction. And she hadn't been able to give him one.

He was leaving her and there was a chance he wasn't going to come back. She fought to keep her breathing even, ignoring the pain in her chest. The aching of her heart. Why now? She'd gotten so close to being able to love him. To being able to trust him with her heart.

Forcing herself to take a deep breath, she tried to concentrate on calming down but felt a new wave of tears come on. She couldn't do this. She was overreacting. She'd known for a little while now what he was involved in. But he was leaving town for this one. _Dammit, Sara. He's Connor. He'll come back to you.

* * *

_

Murphy allowed his eyes to wander in the early morning light, taking in the gentle curves of her face. Reaching his finger out, he traced lightly over the hint of freckles on her nose. He'd noticed them the first time he'd seen her in the daylight, that first morning on the way to the diner. They gave her face an innocence he'd found intriguing at the time. Now, he simply sought comfort in them.

He was scared. It wasn't the first time lately that Murphy had felt fear over the unknown, but he had never needed to communicate it. The only person he had cared know that he was afraid was Connor, and they'd been able to feel each other's fear since before they could remember. Words weren't needed with Connor.

As he looked down on a still sleeping Katie, he realized that what he was feeling was a part of him that she needed to know, too. He needed to tell her that this time his fear was not in what he was facing, but in what he might be leaving behind. Who he might be leaving behind.

Slipping quietly out of bed, he dressed and walked to his room. He pulled out their box of valuables from the nightstand. Digging, he quickly found what he was looking for and double checked that it was indeed his and not Connor's.

Katie was still asleep and had turned on her side facing the door. Murphy smiled and paused for a moment to watch her. It wasn't a view he was used to. He just hoped he'd have more time to get used to it. Shaking his head, he worked to force those thoughts out of his mind. Today would be hard enough without adding to it.

She woke slowly, her breathing changing first and then her eyes finally opening. Smiling up at him, she stretched before holding the blanket to her chest as she sat up. He couldn't help but notice the way she covered herself up even after spending the night in his arms. Grinning, he didn't comment. Instead, he held out his closed fist.

Katie raised an eyebrow at him. "Let me guess, black power?"

"What?"

"Nevermind." She laughed softly.

"Hold out yer hand."

After shaking her head, she obeyed and opened her palm underneath his fist. Releasing his grip, Murphy allowed the necklace to dangle into her hand slowly. Katie glanced up at him with a smile before she looked closer.

"What is it?"

"It's the cross I got for me first communion." He flipped the cross over and pointed to the engraving on the back. "Mine has an 'M' and Connor's has a 'C'."

"Really?" She grinned and looked at the necklace again.

"What?"

"I'm just picturing you two as eight-year-olds. I imagine you were mischievous but so damn cute you got away with everything."

Murphy just laughed. "Not always. But if they knew everything we _did_ get away with…" He smiled and released the necklace into her hand. "It's yers."

"Murph? You can't give me this! It's something you should hold on to."

"Ma always taught us that our crosses would protect us. I want ye ta wear this one."

Katie raised her eyes to him again, still somewhat surprised. She opened her mouth to speak but she ended up nodding instead. Murphy took the necklace out of her hands and motioned for her to turn. He slipped the necklace around her neck and fastened it.

It was only after the necklace was on that he allowed himself to look at the angry red scar on the left side of her neck. It had healed nicely, but Murphy still felt that sick feeling in his stomach as he looked at it. Running his finger over the slightly raised skin, he leaned down and kissed it gently. It was a reminder of what had started all of this. A reminder that none of them really needed. He felt Katie shiver slightly and he slipped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

Leaning his chin on her shoulder, he felt himself evening his breaths to match hers. "Katie, I'm scared." The words came out much easier than he thought they would.

He heard her react with a sob and realized that she'd been holding back tears. "I am too."

She turned in his arms. Murphy pulled her so that she was sitting on his lap, her face pressed into his neck. The quiet tears flowed down his skin, moistening the collar of his t-shirt. Her sobs slowed as he rocked them slowly back and forth.

He knew that he had to do something to bring the mood up. They couldn't continue the morning this way. It'd be too hard. He pulled away from her and used his thumb to wipe the few stubborn tears from the corners of her eyes. "So ye want to know how it works?"

"How it works? I don't just wear it?"

He grinned. "No ye do wear it. But there's a way of making it stronger." She raised an eyebrow at him but ended up smiling, too.

"Teach me, oh great Saint."

"First, ye got ta kiss the cross." He nodded in encouragement as Katie lifted the cross to her lips. "And now, ye've got ta kiss me."

Katie laughed. "Wait a minute. This can't be the true system."

"Oh, but it's the Murphy system. Just try it."

Shaking her head with a smile, she leaned forward and kissed him lightly, the necklace dangling between them. Murphy found himself deepening the kiss but then he forced himself to pull away and look down at her.

Tracing his thumb over her cheek bone, he smiled. "Don't ye feel protected?"

"With you, I always do." Her reply was serious, turning the mood back again.

Murphy stared back at her for a moment, then leaned forward and kissed her softly. He put one arm around her and twisted, lowering her to the bed. Lifting the cross off of her chest with his other hand, he gently kissed it and set it back down.

"I love ye, Katie."

"I love you, too."

* * *

The room was fully lit when Connor woke up again. He'd felt Sara leave his side earlier but figured her trip had a purpose and she'd come back to bed soon. But the sheets where she'd been were cold. Sitting up, he frowned. Where did she go?

As he walked slowly out of the bedroom and down the hall of her apartment, the scent of coffee greeted him. The tight feeling in his chest grew. It was barely dawn. Why was she already up?

He knew the answer even before he turned the corner and found her sitting on the counter with a cup of coffee. She glanced up briefly at him but returned her eyes to her mug. "Go back to bed, Conn. You need your sleep."

Pulling a mug down, he poured himself some. "I'm awake. Why'd ye get up so early?"

She shrugged. Connor moved to stand in front of her and set his mug on the counter. He put his hands on her hips and he kissed her gently.

She closed her eyes and smiled. "Good morning to you, too."

"Are ye going ta tell me what's wrong?"

"Connor. You're leaving. Isn't that enough?"

He sighed. "Ye know I wouldn't go unless it was necessary."

"I know."

"I'm sorry ye've got ta deal with this. We never intended ta leave anyone waitin' for us."

Sara glanced up at him and he tucked her hair behind her ear, trailing his fingers down her jaw line. Moving his head down, he kissed her again, lingering this time. He heard her mug being set down on the counter and felt her arms wrap around him. Stepping closer, he leaned against the counter between her legs.

After a long moment, Connor pulled away but continued to lean against the counter. "Sara, I-"

She shook her head. "Connor, please don't do this."

"We need to-"

She put her arms around him again and cut off his sentence by kissing him. Connor tried to concentrate on talking to her, but the words disappeared from his brain as she wrapped her legs around him and pulled him closer.

He couldn't hold back the moan as she slid off the counter and came in contact with his body. She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him deeply before stepping away. With a smile, she pulled on his hand and led him back to her bedroom.

* * *

Da sipped his mug of coffee slowly as he listened to the talking in the hallway.

"Just pack yer damn bag, Katie. Yer not stayin' here." Murphy's voice rang down the hall, sounding more than a little irritated. Da grinned. They'd been going at it all morning. So far, it'd been more entertaining than most morning television shows.

"Were you going to fucking tell me, Murphy? Or were you just ship me there with a return address label?" Her voice rose as she spoke.

"Ye've been fuckin' told now. Good enough for ye?"

They were silent for a moment. Then Katie spoke up again, sounding rather annoyed. "Christ, Murph. Go pack your own fucking bags. I can handle this. No, stop. You're messing things up. Murphy!"

Loud laughter followed the yell and Da heard a door being slammed. Murphy walked down the hall pausing in the doorway to grin at him. "I got her packin' at least."

Da just chuckled softly and shook his head as his son disappeared into the hall again. Another door shut, with less force than Katie's had.

Silence filled the room as he stared at the wall. Before long, Smecker would be arriving with the car. And Da assumed that his other son would show up soon, quite possibly with that lass of his.

With a sigh, he finished his coffee and set it down on the coffee table. Pulling out his cell phone, he stared at it for a minute. Both of his boys had been right to spend the night with their girls. This trip was different and they all knew it. A lot more was riding on completing this job and the stakes were higher all around. There was a better chance than ever that something could go wrong.

Da knew he would need to make that clear to his boys before they walked into the job the next day. But first, he had a few things he had to take care of himself.

Checking the time, he knew without calculating that it was early afternoon there. The number was imprinted in his memory but he just used the speed-dial Murphy had set up for him. Taking one last puff of his cigar, he got to his feet as the ringing started.

She picked up as he walked out the apartment door and he smiled, hearing the annoyance in her voice. "Hey there."

"Pat. How are ye doin'?"

"I'm fine now that I've heard yer voice." He grinned as she gave a hearty laugh.

"Ye never quit flirtin', do ye?"

He could picture her smiling down at the phone and felt the familiar tug on his heart. It was easier if she thought he was just flirting. If he didn't get her hopes up yet. Or get his. He'd have to wait until he knew he was coming home again for good. Then, he could let her know how he felt. How he still felt after all these years.

"You know me, Ma."

"I'm afraid I do, _Da._" She laughed again. "I'm afraid I do."

* * *

Connor kept his arm around Sara as they neared the apartment building, and felt her lean against him. She seemed to want as much contact with him as possible on a busy street in the daylight and he was more than happy to give it to her. Maybe it would make things easier when he had to let go and leave her. Especially since she wouldn't talk about it with him.

His eyes caught movement inside of the old car Smecker had lent them and he saw Murphy setting a few bags onto the backseat driver's side floor board. When he stood back up out of the car, Connor grinned at him.

The smile on Murphy's face said it all and Connor knew instantly what had happened between him and Katie. He wanted to tease his brother mercilessly, but didn't want to embarrass him in front of Sara. Instead, he settled for being more subtle.

"You seem happy this mornin'." He laughed as Murphy gave him a look. Sara glanced at both of them but didn't comment.

"Morning, Murphy." She pulled away from Connor and leaned against the car. "You ready to leave?"

"Well, I got my stuff packed if that's what yer askin'."

Sara shrugged. "It works as an answer."

Connor glanced at the front door and saw Da carrying of one of their black bags. Smecker followed and they seemed deep in conversation. Connor nodded at both of them and stepped toward the stoop. "I'll be right back."

He got a nod from both Sara and Murphy. As he walked up the stairs, he heard Sara's low voice.

"So are you really ready to do this, Murphy?"

Shaking his head, he took the stairs quickly and walked into the apartment. No one was in sight. Chewing on his lip, he moved to the hallway quietly.

She was in her room as he figured she'd be, packing her clothes into one of their old duffel bags. Leaning against the door frame, he watched her. There was a glow to her but as she turned to face him, he saw the sadness in her eyes as well. She smiled anyhow.

"Don't lurk. Sit." She nodded toward the end of her bed. He grinned and sank down onto the bed, watching her fold a few shirts. She stopped after a moment and smiled at him.

"What?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I've just been noticing more small differences between you and Murph." She folded a pair of jeans and stuffed them into the bag.

"And those are?"  
"You're just so still. Murphy's been a bundle of nerves all morning. Bouncing fucking here and there. I was tempted to make him run around the block a few times." She grinned as Connor laughed.

He nodded at her. "Yeah, he's always done that. Uncle Sibeal used ta claim he got all the nerves and I got all the guts."

"But he was wrong, wasn't he? You're just as nervous. You just don't show it nearly as much."

His smile was slow as he stared at her. It usually took someone much longer to figure that out. "Yer gettin' good at this, Katie."

"And that's why you're in here. Because you're nervous? And you don't want Sara to see it?"

"That and I had a question for ye." He waited until she nodded, turning back to her packing. "What does Peter look like?"

She frowned slightly, staring at the wall. "He's a little taller than you. About six one, six two and kinda a medium blonde. Why?"

"I'm gonna look for him." He was surprised as she stopped and stared at him. He hadn't told Murphy of his plan yet. Hadn't thought of it until this morning on the way over. If Peter was in New York, maybe they could find him. Nodding shortly, she returned to her bag, her hands moving idly through the clothes.

"Thank you. I'd appreciate it."

"No matter how happy me brother will make ye, both him and I know that ye need yer brother ta feel whole." Connor told her softly and met her gaze when she turned and looked at him, trying to smile. She couldn't manage one.

"Tell me this isn't an average job for you guys."

"Why do ye want me ta tell ye what you obviously already know?" He watched her closely as she reached out with shaking hands and zipped her bag forcefully shut.

"Because…"She stopped and swallowed, keeping her hands on the handles of the bag. "Because I need to know that at least one of you realizes it. While I think somewhere deep down Murph does, I also think he's got this innocence to him. This innocence that leads him to believe that you three will ride in like fucking knights into battle. And come home unscathed."

Connor nodded slowly. "Because not all knights come home from battle."

She brought a hand to her mouth to muffle the sob and nodded through the tears. He felt the knot in his stomach tighten as he stood up and put his arms around her.

"Its okay, Katie."

She leaned her forehead against his shoulder. "Do me a favor and take care of yourself."

"And I'll take care of him."

"I know you will. You'll take care of him not because I asked you to but because that's what you two do. You take care of each other." She sniffed and pulled away to look up at him. "Connor, he may be the one I'm in love with, but I can't lose you either."

Feeling at a loss of what else to say, he reached down and messed up her hair. She swatted his hand away with a small smile and hugged him tightly again. Letting go, she reached over to pick up her bag but he knocked her hand out of the way and grabbed it for her.

"Are ye ready ta go down now?"

"Sure. Where is Sara anyhow?"  
"I left her down with Murph at the car." He led the way out of her room and she shut the door behind her.

"Wait, you left them out there together? Don't you realize they're fucking allied against us?"

Connor just grinned. "Then we'll just have ta fuckin' do the same. Ye want ta been me ally?"

"I already am, Conn." She laughed as he raised his eyebrow. "I've been keeping an eye on her for you already. And you've done the same. We are so ahead of them in this game."

"Aye, I think you'll make me a good partner." He nodded toward the door. "Let's go down and spy on 'em."

Katie shook her head at him and crossed her arms. Connor raised an eyebrow at her as she leaned against the side of the couch. He set her bag down with a sigh. "Why do I have a feelin' we're not done talkin' yet?"

"Because, you're a perceptive guy." She smiled. "I just wanted to see how Sara's been handling this."

He shrugged at her and leaned against the arm chair. "I don't really know. I don't know what's fuckin' normal for her when her boyfriend leaves town to make a hit on the mob. Why do ye ask?"

Katie glanced down at the floor for a moment and Connor felt the same knot tighten further in his stomach. There was something more to this than he thought. When she brought her eyes back up to his, his suspicions were confirmed.

"Conn, Sara says that I hide from things. But so does she. Has she mentioned Greg to you?"

"Greg? No. What's goin' on Katie? Who is he?" He sighed. She held up a hand.

"Hold on. It might not be that big of a deal. So don't go running to her and bothering her about this."

"Katie. Tell me."

"Greg was the guy she dated for nearly three years in college. He was a few years ahead of us and we all thought they were close to getting engaged when he left. Just broke things off and moved away without more than a quick goodbye. And he never gave an explanation. Let's just say it had a lasting effect on her relationships." Her voice was soft and she kept glancing at the door.

Connor nodded slowly and forced himself to remain completely calm. So that's why she'd been trying to push him away last night. And why she'd kept her emotions from him. Why she didn't want to talk about it. To keep from getting hurt again.

"She's afraid I'll do the same?" His question was calm but he saw Katie move her eyes to watch him. She shrugged.

"I don't really know. I haven't seen her in two years until recently. I honestly don't know if she's past that or not. I just wanted to you know what you might be up against."

He nodded slightly, feeling suddenly worse about leaving. "Just what we need. More fuckin' ghosts ta deal with."

"I'll check it out for you. If anyone can read her on this, it'll be me." Katie leaned forward and caught his eye before giving him a smile. "I know she really cares about you, Connor. Just make sure she knows you feel the same."

Connor glanced toward the door. Katie laughed softly, making him turn his head back to her. She nodded towards him. "Go on. I'll be down in a minute."

He met her eye and couldn't help but smile as she winked at him. Laughing softly, he walked out the door. He'd make sure she knew how he felt before they left. That was a guarantee.

* * *

Sara watched Connor disappear around the front door of the stoop before she turned back to Murphy. "So are you really ready to do this?"

He looked at her and shrugged, bringing his thumb to his mouth to chew on. "Do I get ta stay home if I'm not?"

"Don't think so."

"Than I'd better be fuckin' ready." He sighed and leaned back against the car beside her. "Thanks for lettin' Katie stay with ye while we're gone. I really wasn't comfortable with her stayin' here."

"I wouldn't have let her stay alone anyhow, Murph." Sara smiled up at him. "She's my sole source of entertainment while you two are gone."

"More shopping planned?"

"Nope. We're gonna go find us some hot guys." She laughed as he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Then ye need ta take her ta Pure. She's fuckin' wild about a blonde guy named Ethan." He smirked back at her as she raised her eyebrows in turn.

"Yet another story I need to dig out. Speaking of, you ever gonna tell me about this Rosie of Connor's?"

Murphy choked out a laugh. "Let's just say she's not any competition."

"More info needed, please."

"She's a fuckin' fat, angry lesbian who kicked him in the fuckin' nuts our last day at the meat packin' plant." Murphy winked at her. "Not really his type of woman."

Sara let out a long laugh. "You've got to give me that whole story once you get back. And I need more dirt on your brother."

"Stories and dirt I have. If ye'll give me lots of the same on Katie." He grinned as Sara pursed her lips at him.

"Deal." She stuck out her hand. He shook it with a laugh.

"Take care of her while I'm gone, Sara."

"Now that's something I'm well practiced in. Keep your brother out of trouble."

Murphy smiled. "And that's something I'm well fuckin' practiced in."

"Then you're just the man for the job."

"Ye might say I was even born for the role." He laughed softly as she grinned at him. "I think ye need ta stick around, Sara."

"Does this mean I pass?"

He glanced at her quickly. "Katie warned ye, didn't she?"

"She did."

Murphy pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a drag before looking back at her. "Okay, so ye've passed."

They both heard the sound of Connor's boots coming down the stairs. "And your prize is behind door number one." He waved his arm towards the open front door as Connor stepped out. Both he and Sara laughed as Connor looked at them confused.

* * *

Katie knew the moment he stepped back into the apartment but continued washing the last few dishes. The warmth of his body was next to her before she knew it and he took the next dish from her.

"Wow, you can be trained."

"What are ye doin'? These could have fuckin' waited." Murphy's voice was soft, personal. She felt herself smile just a little, the lump in her throat softening.

"Not for more than twenty-four hours, Murph. That's just disgusting." She smiled up at him and saw him study her face.

"Ye've been crying, haven't ye?"

"I'm fine, Murphy." She forced a half laugh out, hoping it would cover the shaking of her voice. Keeping her hands in the water, she concentrated on washing the last dish. His arms slipped around her from behind and he leaned his chin on her shoulder.

"Are ye really fine, Katie?" He whispered and she had to close her eyes against the overwhelming need to let the tears just fall. "Tell me what's going on in that head of yours. I need ta know."

She gave another shaky laugh. He couldn't know because she knew she wouldn't be able to get the words out. It was better left unsaid. "No, Murph. All you need to know is that I love you." She flicked the soap bubbles off of her fingers into his face and felt him laugh. He let go of her to rub his hand over his face.

The bubbles hit her before she knew they were coming. Giggling, she reached into the water and pulled the plug, bringing more bubbles out and tossing them at him. They faced off in the kitchen.

"Dammit, Murphy. I have makeup on." She rubbed a finger under both of her eyes, hoping her mascara wasn't running. He grinned at her and shook his head, moving his handful of bubbles back and forth.

"Yer such a girl, Katie." He flung the bubbles at her and she ducked, managing to miss most of them. A few more landed on her face, making him laugh harder.

"You are so dead." She moved to throw her handful at him and found that most of them had dried sticking to her hand. Reaching out, she wiped her hand across Murphy's stomach, leaving a soap trail down his shirt. "There you go."

He stepped closer and put his finger up to her nose, popping a few bubbles that hand landed there. "Ye're so cute covered in bubbles, anyway." His eyes wandered her hair and she realized she must have them everywhere. He caught her hands as she moved to get the bubbles out. "No, leave 'em."

"Murph."

"Leave 'em. They're cute. Sexy even." He leaned closer and kissed her lightly. She reached behind her into the sink, keeping her lips on his. Pulling her hand back up, she plopped the handful down on top of his head, making him reel back in surprise. Stepping away from him, she laughed.

"You're right. They are cute."

His jaw dropped and he moved toward her with a loud laugh. Da cleared his throat from the doorway, making them look up at him. He raised an eyebrow. "We need ta be leavin' soon, children."

Murphy smiled back at him. "Yes, Da."

Katie gave him a small smile before she turned back to Murphy. She knocked the bubbles from his hair and he rubbed his hand over hers. "One thing before you go. Come with me."

She led him back to her bedroom where he raised an eyebrow at her. "What are we doin'?"

"Just gimme a second here." She turned away from him and grabbed a pen from her nightstand, and dug into her purse for her notepad. Jotting down a few numbers, she tore the sheet out and handed it to him. "Here."

Taking it with a raised eyebrow, he glanced down at it. "What is it?"

"My apartment in Brooklyn. There's a key hidden over the doorway ledge, shoved into the crack where the door frame has pulled away from the wall."

Murphy shook his head at her. "It's a nice idea, but we can't stay at yer place, Katie."

"Why not?"

"It's not worth the risk."

"And it's worth the risk for you guys to check into a hotel under your real names?" She frowned at him, crossing her arms. His refusal wasn't something she'd expected.

"They might connect ye with us. And 'Donna' with yer real name."

"Christ, Murphy." She sighed. "They probably already know my real name by now. But _you _can't just risk it. Your names are the only things you've been able to keep hidden from them."

"I don't know, Katie." He glanced down at the numbers again. She kept watching him, willing him to just accept.

"Murph, they'd have to dig deep to find that the apartment is mine. I'd feel better knowing that you are going to be staying there and not in some fleabag, rent-by-the-hour hotel."

Smiling down at her, he nodded slightly. "Fine. I'll talk ta Conn and Da about it. We'll decide on the way."

"Good." She slipped the notepad back into her purse.

"What's Peter look like, Katie?" His question made her stop and he seemed confused when she just shook her head at him and laughed.

"I thought you and your brother communicated better than this."

"Why? He already ask ye?"

"Yeah, he beat you to it. He's a little taller than you. Blonde. Looks actually a lot like me." She pointed at the paper in his hands. "Go to my apartment and you'll find pictures of the three of us. Peter is the only blonde in the family."

Stepping closer to him, she put her arm around his waist and leaned against him. "I appreciate you two looking. But don't do anything unnecessary. I'd rather not have you two taking any more risks just to find him."

He kissed the top of her head softly. "We'd better head down. They're waitin' for us."

She noticed his lack of agreement but didn't say anything. It was hardly worth arguing about at the moment. The lump in her throat grew and her heart started racing. She nodded slowly without looking at him. Sighing, he kept his arm around her and they walked out the door together.

Connor was talking softly to Sara near the still open trunk of the car as they stepped out of the building. Katie gave a faint smile to both of them and stepped away from Murphy. Her eyes landed on Da who was still seemed deep in conversation with Smecker.

Moving to him, she stood to the side and he paused mid-sentence to look over at her. She smiled. Da smiled back at her and put his arm around her.

"We'll be back in just a few days."

"Keep them out of trouble, Da." She put her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"We'll be perfectly fine, lass." He frowned as he saw the tears in her eyes. The tears she was working hard to hold back. Leaning down, he kissed the top of her head. "We'll be fine."

Katie nodded again and forced a smile. Da looked over at both Murphy and Connor. "Say yer goodbyes. We've got ta get on the road." He gave Katie another smile as he turned back to Smecker.

Not meeting Murphy's gaze, she moved to Connor. She put her arms around him and hugged him tightly before stepping back. "Be good or else."

He just grinned and ran his knuckles through her hair. Katie caught Sara's eyes and saw that her friend was doing better at holding back the tears, but not by much. A hand pulled on her shoulder and she looked back to find Murphy waiting for her.

He put his arms around her and held her tightly for a moment. "I'll call ye when we get ta New York."

Katie nodded wordlessly and then moved her hands to his neckline. With trembling fingers, she pulled out the rosary she knew would be hidden beneath the shirt. Looking up at him, she kissed it lightly and let it fall back under the fabric. He rubbed his thumb across her cheek and kissed her gently. She felt everything he wasn't saying coming through in his kiss. With that, she stepped back and let him go.

He stared at her for another second and reached up to her forehead, brushing the hair off of her face. "Be good or else."

"Hey, that's my line."

Without answering, he just smiled at her and climbed into the backseat. She nodded at Connor who was looking out from the front seat. She got a wave in return. Da started the car and Katie felt Sara grab her hand as the car pulled away. Pressing her lips together, she forced herself to will away the tears.

Movement to her side made her look over and she saw that Smecker was watching them, slightly embarrassed. "If you two need a minute here..."

Katie smiled a little and glanced at Sara who raised her eyebrows, still completely dry eyed. She shook her head. Grinning, Katie looked back at Smecker. "Nope, I think we're fine. You holding up?"

He let out a laugh. "Uh, yeah. Let's get you two wherever you need to be going."

"You're our ride?"

"Yeah, you think the McManuses would have just left you here?"

Katie laughed softly and exchanged another look with Sara. "Why am I not surprised? Thanks for the ride Smecker."

He unlocked the doors of his car. "No problem. Now get in. I've got cases to solve." He smiled at both of them and Katie let go of Sara's hand, grabbing her duffel bag off the ground and climbing into the front seat.

After she got her seatbelt on she turned and looked back at Sara again. They smiled at each other and Katie relaxed into the seat. Yeah, at least for the moment, they'd be fine.

* * *

Murphy waited until they were a good distance away before leaning forward from the back seat. He held the piece of paper Katie had given him out to Connor who took it with a puzzled look. "It's Katie's address in Brooklyn. She wants us to stay there."

"That's sweet of the lass." Da answered, keeping his eyes on the road as he merged into interstate traffic.

"Is her name on the apartment?" Connor shifted in his seat to look at Murphy. He nodded.

"She says they'd have to work hard to find it though."

"I imagine if her brother lived there before goin' undercover, the name on the place is fairly hidden."

Both Murphy and Connor nodded at Da. He had a point. Her brother wouldn't have wanted himself linked to her for either person's safety.

Murphy brought his thumb to his mouth and chewed on the side of it, leaning back again in his seat. Connor stayed turned toward him. "Did ye have a good night?"

Finding himself smiling, Murphy raised an eyebrow. "Why is that any of your concern?"

"Because I haven't seen that smile for awhile. It's a dead giveaway."

"Shut it, Conn." Murphy tried to glare at him but couldn't hold it. He laughed softly. "Yes, I had a good night. Did you?"

Connor lost a little of his smile and Murphy sat up further. "What happened?"

"She's afraid I'm gonna fuckin' leave her and not come back like a bastard ex of hers did."

"Fuck, that's rough. Did ye tell her otherwise?"

Shrugging, Connor shifted in the seat. "I tried. She doesn't know I know."

"What are ye gonna do?"

"Get back to her as soon as I can."

"Aye, I think that's the best idea all over." Murphy moved his eyes to stare out the window, noticing the cars had slowed down as they neared the toll stations. Connor turned around to face forward again. Silence filled the car.

After a few minutes, Da cleared his throat, still keeping his eyes on the road. "Boys, lets just get in there, do our job and get home. Ye've got ta keep yer mind on the job while we're in there."

Neither brother answered him, having heard this spiel from Da in the past. Only this time, they all knew it would be much harder to actually do it. Connor reached over and turned on the radio, filling the car with music none of them would listen to for the rest of the drive.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Again, just for attention. Updated 7/3/06. Just a few changes. And an open discussion as to whether doughnut or donut is the correct spelling. Are Dunkin' Donuts and the Simpsons both right? Or is the proper term really 'doughnut'? Oh, the mystery of it all... **

Katie sat in Sara's apartment accompanied only by the sound of the television. Sara had needed to go into work, leaving Katie to her own devices for the rest of the day. With the remote in one hand, she held tightly onto her phone with the other. Checking it again, she sighed. _Still no call._ About an hour ago she stopped trying to convince herself that she was really interested in the soap opera. It was now only on so that her thoughts didn't have free rein over the noise in her head.

Where were they? It'd been nearly five hours now since they'd left. Mapquest clocked the trip at a little over four hours. _How can they possibly be going fucking slower than Mapquest? _Closing her eyes, Katie forced herself to take a deep breath and released the death grip on her phone. Her fingers ached and she realized she hadn't moved them for at least an hour.

_Christ!_ Whether it was on purpose or not, they were the sole stress on her at the moment. And her stress level was high. Too high.

Getting to her feet, she threw the remote into the couch, wincing when it bounced off and hit the floor. _Fuck!_ She ran a hand through her hair and walked to the kitchen, opening Sara's fridge with a yank. Of course, she had no beer. Why would she? Sara hated beer. _Now I'm relying on fucking beer. They actually are driving me to drink. Pathetic!_

Katie covered her face with her hands and let out a long sigh just as her phone started ringing. Lifting her head, she stared at it for the briefest of moments before diving for the couch and pressing the 'Talk' button.

"Hello?"

"I didn't realize ye were such a fan of Patrick Swayze." Murphy teased her. Katie smiled, feeling the tight knot in her stomach start to dissolve.

"And how do you know that?"

He laughed. "We're in yer apartment. I'm standing in front of what I assume is every fuckin' movie the man made so far in his life. The key was right where ye said it'd be. Even after fuckin' six months of being gone."

"That's what took so long." She sighed lightly and heard him pause.

"Fuck, I didn't even think about it. Sorry if I got ye worried."

"I might forgive you eventually."

"How are ye doin'?" His voice was soft. She swallowed the beginnings of a lump in her throat.

"I'm fine. Bored, actually." Her attempt at sounding carefree felt like it failed completely, but Murphy didn't comment.

"Bored?"

"Yeah, apparently if you hang with the wild crowd long enough, normal life is boring." She grinned as he laughed again.

"So I'm the wild crowd, huh?"

"No, you aren't too wild on your own. But you and your brother together, well, it doesn't get much worse than that."

"And here I thought we'd fuckin' mellowed with age."

Katie grinned. "Yes, Murph. At the ripe old age of twenty eight years old, you've become boring."

"Anyhow, I just wanted ta let ye know we got here. Da's motionin' for us ta get off our phones." His voice seemed muffled. She nodded even though he couldn't see her.

"Us? So Conn's called Sara, too?"

"He's on with her right now." He sighed. "I'll try ta call ye again later on."

"Okay. Please be careful. All of you." Katie said quietly, surprised at the lack of oncoming tears. Instead, she just felt that knot of worry working its way back. "Love you."

"We'll be fine. Love ye, too, Katie. Bye."

"Bye." She ended the call first, unwilling to hear the click on the other end. Unwilling to know that he'd left first.

She glanced at the television and saw the noon news had come on, but she couldn't get herself to care enough to pay attention. The only news she wanted was about the McManuses. And, if things went well, she wasn't going to find that on the television.

Reaching down to the floor, Katie pulled the remote control up and clicked the television off. Silence instantly filled the room, pushing at her ears. Glancing around the apartment slowly, she realized the last thing she wanted to do was to stay there alone, in the quiet. She needed a distraction. And if she knew her friend, right about now Sara would need one too.

Dialing Sara's work number, her suspicions about her friend were confirmed in her toneless 'hello'. Katie smiled slightly. "Hope you don't try to sell anything with that voice."

"Katie, I don't sell things. I write magazine articles." Sara seemed more depressed than annoyed, her response have only a little of the normal bite to it. "So it doesn't matter what the fuck I sound like."

"You sound like you need a lunch break."

"I'm not hungry."

Katie stood up from the couch and reached for her purse. "Well, I need company and so do you."

"You heard from them too?"

"At the same time you did, actually. Which is why I'm on my way to your office now. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"Fifteen minutes translates to what in Katie language?"

"Today, it means fifteen minutes." Katie shut the front door behind her and locked it with Sara's spare key.

"Right. If you make in here in fifteen minutes…"

"You'll what?"

Sara laughed softly into the phone. "I'll buy you a fucking cookie."

"Get your money out. I'm on my way."

* * *

"I can't believe we're having donuts and ice cream for lunch." Sara smiled at Katie before glancing back up at the menu. Katie just laughed.

"Dunkin' Donuts and Baskin Robbins is the perfect combination for a depressed woman's lunch. I'm telling you. That's why they have them on every fucking corner." She laughed harder when the teenage girl behind the counter fought a smile as she watched them. "This city must be full of depressed women to need that many of them."

"If I gain weight from this, I'm blaming it on you."

Katie shook her head. "Nope. The blame goes directly on Connor. It's always his fault. Just remember that."

Sara stopped smiling and seemed to concentrate more on the selection of donuts behind the counter. She stepped forward without another word to Katie. "I'll take one glazed and one with chocolate and sprinkles."

Only after picking up her two blueberry glazed and cup of coffee was Katie able to turn back to Sara. "What's going on there, Sara?"

"Where?"

"With you two?"

Sara bit into her donut to avoid the question. She shrugged. Rolling her eyes, Katie led them to a table and sat down. They ate in silence for a few minutes. Finally, Katie couldn't take it anymore.

"He's not Greg, Sara."

Sara kept her eyes on the half eaten donut in her hand, picking at the sprinkles that had fallen on the counter. "I know he's not. Can we discuss something else?"

"Fine. Have you dated anyone since college?"

"Dammit, Katie. That's not discussing something else."

"Fine, you pick the topic."

"I told you I didn't feel like talking earlier."

"Well, I need some fucking distraction too."

"The McManus men are not the only things in our lives, Katie. We have a million other potential topics. You are the one stuck on them."

Katie took a sip of her coffee. "And you're the one avoiding them."

"I'm not avoiding them. I'm sorry that I have a fucking life, Kat. Maybe you should consider getting one yourself. One that doesn't center pathetically on those three men." Sara wrapped the remaining donut in the waxed paper and shoved it in her purse. Standing up, she walked out the glass door without a backward glance. Katie watched her disappear into the crowd through the smudged windows, completely speechless.

* * *

Out of the corner of his eye, Connor saw that Murphy was still wandering around the apartment, looking at everything. He had to admit, the apartment didn't look anything like what he figured Katie would have. It was sparsely decorated, but compared to anything he and Murphy had lived in during the last ten years, it was very nice looking. He couldn't help but notice the lack of personal touches within the living room and kitchen.

Connor turned to look at Murphy fully as he wandered toward the hall. He grinned at Da and got to his feet. "Ye gonna check out her bedroom now?"

Murphy laughed. "Grow up, Conn."

"I'll take that as a yes. I'll come with." Connor followed Murphy who was shaking his head but still leading the way down the hall. The first door they opened turned out to be the bathroom; the second was a linen closet. Finally, the third door swung open to a dark bedroom.

Murphy flipped on the light switch and they both glanced up as one bulb went out right away. Looking around, Connor couldn't help but grin. It was completely Katie. Decorated in various blues and greens, this was the one room in the house that seemed cozy. He walked over to the bookcase and leaned close to see the dusty framed pictures leaning against the books. One frame caught Connor's eye. Pulling it off the shelf, he grinned as he wiped the thick layer of dust free from it.

It was Katie and Sara, looking several years younger and smiling widely. They both held a martini glass in one hand and were hanging onto each other with the other in what looked like a dorm room to him. Laughing softly, he glanced over at Murphy.

"Look at this." Holding out the picture, Connor smiled again as Murphy chuckled as he took the picture.

"Christ, I wonder how fuckin' old they were here."

Connor turned back to the bookshelf as Murphy continued to stare down at the picture. He pulled another off the next shelf down that had Katie and two men in it. _Bingo._ Beneath the layer of dust, Katie stood between the two men, one dark haired like her and one blond. She was wearing a blue cap and gown and they all had their arms around each other. It was Katie and her brothers.

"Look at this, Murph. She's the fuckin' link between them. Neither of them look like brothers, but they both fuckin' look a lot like her."

Murphy leaned in over Connor's shoulder. "So that's the guy we're lookin' for?"

"Aye, I'd say so."

"He's got her smile."

Connor shot a grin at his brother, who was still leaning over his shoulder with a soft smile. "Ye're a fuckin' goner." He received a shove in response.

"Fuck off."

Shaking his head, Connor just kept smiling. "Just admit it, Murph. It'll make yer life much fuckin' easier."

Murphy grabbed the picture from Connor's hands. "Da might be interested in this, too." Laughing harder, Connor followed his brother out of the room.

* * *

The bar was nearly empty when Katie walked in around three that afternoon. Doc sat on his stool behind the bar, chatting with the two regulars who had already found their way to McGinty's for the day. They all looked up as she walked in. Doc jumped up with a smile.

"Katie, l-lass. H-h-how are y-ye?" He leaned against the bar in front of her as she grabbed a stool.

"Could be better. How are things here, Doc?"

"Fine, f-fine. What's in y-y-yer bag?" He nodded at the tote bag at her feet. Katie sighed.

"Laundry. Can I get a screwdriver?"

Doc lost a little of his smile as he studied her but nodded after a moment. She watched him move down the bar with another sigh.

After eating and walking aimlessly, she'd found herself back at their apartment. Not knowing what else to do for the rest of the afternoon, Katie had gone inside. It was so empty without them. So quiet. Although she'd never admit it, she'd wandered down to the brothers' room and lay down on Murphy's bed. His smell was still there.

She nearly started crying but then realized how truly pathetic she was. Sara was right. She had no life if that's all she could find to do while the McManuses were gone. But the smell of Murphy continued to taunt her and she'd ended up stripping their beds of their sheets, including her own, and taking them to the laundromat. Now she had a bag of sheets in a smoky bar and she knew might possibly have to explain to both Connor and Murphy when they returned why she washed their sheets.

Sighing heavily, she forced a half smile when Doc set the glass down in front of her. He looked at her closely again. "H-heard any news?"

"The bird has landed." He looked at her blankly. She tried not to smile. "The letter is in the post office." Still no recognition. "They're there, Doc." She laughed softly as he finally nodded his understanding.

"Good ta hear. How are ye really d-d-oin'?"

Katie forced herself not to roll her eyes. She knew she was going to get sick of that question soon. "I'm fine. Really. I just want the next few days over as soon as possible."

"Anything I c-c-can do ta h-help ye?"

"Yeah, let me help you here today."

Doc gave her an understanding smile. "Sure, lass."

She finished her screwdriver quickly and hopped behind the bar. Everything was really already done, but Doc managed to find a few small jobs for her as the crowd began trickling in. She washed a few dishes, counted the glasses and even dusted the bottles on display behind the bar. As she worked, she realized that there were actually quite a few jobs that neither Doc nor Tommy thought much about doing. She found herself making a list in her head with a smile on her face. There was plenty she could do to help the bar over the next few days. And that might just qualify for having a life.

Tommy came in at about four o'clock and Katie found herself getting steadily annoyed while working with him. He acted like he owned the bar and more than once Katie thought she heard him tell Doc what to do next. As he schmoozed with the regulars, she realized that she really hadn't worked with the man yet. Hadn't yet seen his ego at work.

Rolling her eyes, she tuned out his voice and concentrated on serving drinks to the patrons in the booths. As she returned to the bar with a new order, she pulled out three beer mugs. Filling the Coors first, she had set that on the tray before Tommy's hand reached out and took the next mug from her.

"Here, I'll show ye how to do this."

Katie stared up at him in disbelief. She reached out and stopped him from pulling down the tap level. "I know how Tommy. I've worked here before, remember?"

"Ye've got ta have a least an inch foam head on each beer."

"You think these people measure the fucking foam head? Christ, Tommy. They just want their damn beer. Let me do it." She nudged him out of the way and poured the two mugs of Guinness quickly.

His voice stopped her as she turned to walk away. "Did they get there safely?"

Katie turned back to him with a frown. "What?"

"Did they get there safely?" He made no effort to lower his voice and several patrons were looking over. Setting down her tray, she grabbed his arm and pulled him into the little hallway beside the bar.

"What the fuck are you doing? You can't just spout that shit in public. Besides, how do you even know?" She glared up at him and crossed her arms over her chest. He shrugged.

"Uh…Doc told me, I think. Are they in Queens yet?"

"They're there. And that's all I know." Sighing, she ran her hands through her hair. "Keep that to yourself or else."

"Or else what?" He laughed softly and she knew he was just trying to piss her off. And it worked. She ignored the sudden need to punch him, clenching her fists at her sides instead. The McManuses really were having an effect on her. She'd never felt like hitting someone so much before. Murphy would be proud.

Forcing a smile, she just looked up at him. "Try it and you'll find out."

With that, she walked back to the bar and picked up her tray, ignoring the curious glances of the patrons. She delivered the drinks on her tray and worked to the next booth quickly.

As she took down drink orders, she could feel that she was being watched from the bar. Causally turning with her notepad in hand and empty tray under her arm, she met Tommy's gaze briefly before he turned away. She ignored the nervous twinge in the pit of her stomach. Now she was getting paranoid.

After serving the last two booths, she returned to the bar again and let her eyes wander over the now smoke-filled place. Loud laughter flowed from one side competing with the raised voices everywhere else. A few men were already well on their way to a fighting mood and two more in the middle booth were having a drinking contest. Resting her chin on her arm, Katie sighed. Now she really missed the boys.

She happened to look up from the bar the moment Sara walked in. Katie wanted to smile at the sharp contrast her nicely dressed friend made with the rest of the patrons at the bar. Instead she simply nodded and waited for Sara to speak. Reaching into her purse, Sara pulled out a bagged cookie and held it out to Katie.

"Peace offering?"

Nodding, Katie took it and automatically broke it in half once she got it out of the bag, offering the other half to Sara who took it without a word. Sara took a bite and sighed, staring down at the bar for a moment. She finally raised her eyes to Katie.

"I'm sorry. I was out of line. I mean, you were kidnapped and plopped right down here in the middle of fucking McManusville without a choice. And in the middle of all of this violence and mafia bullshit, you've managed to create a life for yourself." Sara stopped and sighed. "In fact, you seem almost more yourself now than you did that entire last year of college. And I have no right to criticize that. I just...I'm not ready to talk about Greg yet."

"Okay. I'm sorry I pushed. I'm just worried." Katie put her hand over Sara's on the bar. They both looked down at their hands. Sara turned hers over and gripped Katie's lightly.

"Let's have a real girl's night."

"Wanna go find a club?"

Sara tilted her head slightly and shook her head. "Not really in the mood."

"Me neither. Cookie dough and a Friends marathon it is."

"No, no, no!" Sara laughed at her. "We need to eat something besides donuts and cookie dough."

"Cookie dough ice cream then?"

"No, Katie." She laughed again. "Let's go home, change into some nice clothes and find a restaurant."

"Sounds like a good plan. We should find a chick restaurant." Katie said with a grin.

"Define chick restaurant."

"One that the McManuses wouldn't step into for anything."

"Not even for us." Sara nodded in agreement. "Perfect."

Katie held up her finger and glanced down the bar to find Doc. He smiled back at her as she motioned for the door. They waved goodbye. As she ushered Sara toward the door, Katie found Tommy watching them again. She gave him a half-hearted wave and shoved Sara out the door as fast as she could.

Once they were outside, Sara stopped and looked at her strangely. "What was that about?"

"Tommy. He's a freaky, freaky man."

They both broke out in laughter at the old joke. Sara slung her arm over Katie's shoulder and they started walking. "Let's go prove we have life outside of men."

"Life outside of men? Is that possible?"

"Not only possible, young Kathleen; but sometimes even enjoyable."

* * *

Da watched his boys through his cigar smoke rings as they readied themselves to leave. He'd already donned on his leather vest but would wait to load the guns into it before they left. He hated wearing the thing and had avoided it all out since that day over a year ago. The day he'd shot at his sons and watched their blood spatter against the battered house behind them.

He was worried about them. Not in their abilities, because he knew they were already better at this than he was at their age. He was worried about what could happen. Those unforeseen events that seemed to have been piling up lately for them. Someone knew too much information about them. Someone was helping out the other side.

Da hadn't told them of his suspicions yet. It wasn't worth having all three of them nervous about it. That would only make it easier to slip up. And they needed to be on the ball. So Da kept his concerns to himself.

The boys were laughing softly about something and Connor slapped Murphy's hand away from his gun holster. He smiled faintly. A large part of him was proud of them. They'd proven themselves in his eyes. They were man enough to recognize God's will for them and act on it. But a small part of Da was sorry that it'd all ever happened.

He'd missed out on their innocence. On that period of time in their lives when their hands were still clean of the blood of the dead. He hadn't been able to save them from going down the same road he'd chosen as a young man. The road that had taken him away from them for all these years.

His brother Sibeal had kept his promise to Da and played the father figure when the boys needed it. And until a year ago, he'd only heard about their tight bond with each other and their sometimes disruptive but always forgivable behavior in his weekly calls with Ma. Calls they both agreed to keep secret from the boys.

And now there was a good chance that the boys would need to make the same choice someday soon. When he'd found them again, Da had promised himself that he'd make sure that his sons never had to make that choice someday. That choice between their calling and their families. And possibly between death and life. Now Da wasn't so sure he could pull them out of this life.

Both Connor and Murphy turned toward him with their guns fully holster, pulling their jackets on. They both looked at him expectantly and he nodded slowly. Rising to his feet, he slowly loaded the guns into his vest. The thrill that it had once brought him to have that familiar weight in his vest was now gone. Sighing, Da pulled the cigar out of his mouth and glanced at the boys.

"Ye ready?" They both nodded at him. "Aye, then let's go."

The three of them filed out of Katie's apartment and Murphy locked the door behind them, slipping the key back up into the door frame. They were silent as Da led them out the door.

* * *

Katie sat up in bed, gasping for breath as the nightmare clung to her. Covering her face with her hands, she worked on keeping the tears away. It had been a bloodbath. All three of them riddled with bullets, dying slowly before her eyes. The gun had been in her hands and she could do nothing to stop it. A few tears slipped out past her tightly clenched eyes and she just let them fall.

Glancing beside her, she noticed that Sara wasn't on her side of the bed. Katie grabbed her phone and checked the time. 2:04 am. She was breathing easier already and the tight grip in her chest was fading. _It was only a nightmare._ Climbing out of the bed on shaky legs, she walked down the hallway and to the already lit kitchen.

Sara sat at the table, seemingly reading papers from a yellow folder. Her briefcase sat beside her on the floor. She looked up as Katie entered and attempted a smile. They both just looked at each other.

"Couldn't sleep?" Katie leaned against the door frame and looked at her friend.

"No. Nightmare?"

"How could you tell?"

"Your hands are still shaking." Sara gave her a look of understanding and got to her feet. Walking over to the cupboard, she pulled out two mugs. "Coffee?"

"No, then I really won't sleep."

"You want to sleep?"

"You don't?" Katie stepped forward and crossed her arms over her chest, watching Sara very closely. Sara's hands were shaking, too. "Sara, you okay?"

The sob she let out was quiet but still filled the room. Sara covered her mouth and raised her eyes to Katie, tears working their way over the edges and spilling down her cheeks. "I shouldn't have let him leave that way. I…I was such a bitch."

"No, honey. You weren't." Katie put her arms around Sara, pulling her into a hug. It was about time that Sara showed some emotion over this. "He knows this is hard."

"But he-he tried to talk to me about it. I wouldn't let him."

"Then talk to him when he comes back." Running her hand down Sara's hair, Katie felt Sara gripping her tighter.

"What if he doesn't come back?" The question was a sob and Katie fought the tears in her own eyes. _No. We can't do this. We can't start this now._

She pulled away and looked up at Sara. "He's coming back. This is a normal job for them." The lie slipped out easily. But she knew Sara wouldn't know better. "I've just been overly dramatic about this because I miss Murph. Connor will be back soon. Maybe even by tomorrow."

Sara nodded and forced herself to take a deep breath. Katie kept her hands on her friend's shoulders. They both looked up at the ceiling, trying to blink the tears away. Catching each other in the same act, they laughed softly.

Grinning, Katie let go of Sara's shoulders. "You know what the cure for this is?"

"Cocktails and Chippendales?"

"Close. Ben and Jerry's and _Dirty Dancing_. Happen to have either?" Katie laughed again as Sara nodded.

"Of course." Her smile was weak, but Katie had hope that she'd cheer her up yet. They couldn't continue this way.

"Go put the movie in. I'll grab the ice cream."

Sara was settled on the couch when Katie came out with the tub of ice cream and two spoons. "Wow, high class. No bowls?"

"We don't need no freakin' bowls. We are real woman. We eat it straight out of the tub."

"Of course. Why would I think otherwise?"

Katie watched Sara relax as the movie started and couldn't help but smile. No fail. It always worked. Digging into the ice cream, she turned back to the screen with a large grin. There was a good chance they'd wake up in the morning to the blank screen, self-rewound movie and melted ice cream. Just like old times.

* * *

Murphy sat in the back seat and stared out the front window of the car as Da headed back out onto the nearly deserted interstate. It seemed like they were one of only a few cars out in the early morning hours.

He had an uneasy feeling. Things had gone smoothly. They'd gotten into the warehouse easily, taken care of all five under bosses with virtually no trouble and had returned to the car with no one after them. All and all, he should feel much better now that it was over. Now they could go home.

But he didn't. And by the silence that filled the car, he knew he wasn't alone.

"Did it seem too easy for ye?" Connor took the words from his mouth as Murphy leaned forward.

"Aye, a bit too easy."

Da glanced back in the rear view mirror at him but didn't comment. They fell silent again and Connor finally turned the radio on to cover the lack of sound.

Murphy stared out the dark window again, watching the high neighborhood privacy walls speed past them. Despite the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, he found himself smiling. They could go home now. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his cell phone.

"Turn down the music, Conn. I'm callin' Katie."

"Murph, it's fuckin' two o'clock in the mornin'. Ye can't call her now."

"And what makes ye think she'll care? She'll be glad ta fuckin' know we're okay."

Connor just smiled at him. "Have her pass the message on ta Sara if she's awake. She's actually got ta fuckin' work in the mornin', so I don't know if I should wake her up."

"The pains of datin' a career woman." Murphy grinned and went to hit his speed dial but Da's voice stopped him.

"Boys, put yer seat belts on." The hard edge to his voice made Murphy look up quickly.

"What's goin' on, Da?" Connor clicked his seat belt and glanced behind them.

"We're bein' fuckin' followed. Don't call her yet, Murphy."

Nodding, Murphy put the phone back in his pocket. He had barely latched his seat belt when he found himself being jerked forward as the car hit them from behind. Da fought for control and managed to keep them on the road. He hit the gas and Murphy felt himself being pushed back in the seat. Both he and Connor exchanged grim looks before they both turned to look behind them.

The sole set of lights on their side of the highway was gaining on them again. Da swerved into the right lane as the car behind them sped forward. The lights flew past them and Murphy got a look at the large, dark-haired man behind the wheel of the other car. He saw a flash of teeth as the man grinned at him and raised a gun.

"Get down; he's got a fuckin' gun!" He yelled and watched Connor duck down. He slouched low in his seat but no bullet came through the window. The light filled the back seat again as the other car hit their brakes and fell back behind them.

"Be ready, m'boys. He's comin' in for the fuckin' kill." Da's voice seemed quiet compared to the roar of the engine as he put the petal to the floor. They took off again, gaining only a little distance between them and the set of lights.

Murphy turned and watched as the car came toward them at an angle, crossing the center line. The sound of screeching tires and twisting metal filled the air as their car pitched over the side of the road. They were thrown against the doors as it rolled once, splintering glass and metal. The radio died as the car groaned to a stop on its right side.

Blood ran down silent faces.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Updated 7/3/06. I swear I have a life besides up dating this story. LOL Just not tonight, I guess. Anyhow, again, just a few small changes. You are so great about reviewing and encouraging me that you deserve the best version possible. :) And I say that with all sincerity. And yes Jamie, I will revel in my evil. I enjoy my evil. My evil is my friend. If you let it, my evil can be your friend too... :)**

There was a searing pain in his right side when Connor finally recognized his surroundings. The pain spread on up to his head where it throbbed to the beat of his heart and all the way down to his toes, which had begun to curl in response to the pins and needles throughout his legs. He could taste the blood that had run down his face.

His eyes opened quickly and after a brief moment of disorientation, he realized the car was on its side. Heart racing, he moved his head to his left and saw that Da was slumped over the wheel, hanging by his seat belt.

"Da!" His voice was hoarse but it echoed eerily through the dark car. It was too quiet. Groaning with the growing pain in his shoulder, Connor managed to shift sideways. "Murph!"

A soft grunt came from beside him and Connor watched with relief as Da opened his eyes. "Ye okay?" He managed to grunt.

"I am but…" Connor worked his seat belt off of him with trembling hands and bit back another groan as he turned around completely. His good shoulder hit the right side of the car as he lost his balance. Working to ignore the pain, Connor stared at the bloodied face of Murphy.

"Murph! Murphy!" He reached out but found he was still hooked by his seat belt. Connor yanked at it, not taking his eyes off of his brother. "Murphy. Wake up!"

Murphy's eyes slowly opened before Connor could leap over the seat and he stared at him for a second, confused. He then closed his eyes again and winced as he moved.

"Are ye okay, Murph?"

"Fuck, I think so…" Murphy's eyes flew open and Connor could tell he'd just realized what had happened. They stared at each other for a second. "Are ye okay?"

Connor nodded and turned back to Da. "Da, ye hurt?"

"I'll survive." He sat back from the steering wheel and raised a hand to his head. Blood flowed sluggishly from a cut at his hairline. Connor reached over and lifted Da's hand to peer at it through the darkness before setting his hand back down to apply pressure.

"Christ, we're on our fuckin' side, aren't we?" Murphy's voice was breathless and full of pain.

"Yeah, we fuckin' rolled, I think. The top's dented in." Connor turned around again and saw the Murphy hadn't moved yet and his eyes were closed again. He frowned at him. "Where are ye hurt, Murph?"

"Me ribs mostly. It just fuckin' hurts ta breathe." He paused and grimaced as he pulled at the seat belt. "Just gimme a minute here."

"Then don't fuckin' talk." The pain in Connor's shoulder flared as he leaned over the seat but he just gritted his teeth against it. Pain was good. He could work with pain. With his left hand, he helped yank on Murphy's seat belt. "Press it in."

Together they got the seat belt off of him and Murphy seemed to be able to breathe better. He opened his eyes again and nodded at Connor. "Where are ye hurt?"

"Me shoulder. I think I fuckin' dislocated it again."

"Not as fun as the first time ye did, huh?" Murphy gave him a half grin. Connor laughed softly.

"No, not quite."

"How'd ye do it the first time?" Da voice made them both turn.

"The rope in the hayloft of Uncle Sibeal's barn broke." Connor grinned at him and Da chuckled a little before wincing.

"We've got ta get out of here before someone comes along." Murphy moved gingerly forward, holding a hand tightly to his right side.

"The interstate was fuckin' empty. And we're not exactly visible. I think we're okay for now." Connor stepped over the seat, the glass of the windows crunching under his boots.

"We're lucky they didn't come back ta finish us, m'boys. Let's not give 'em too much time ta try." Da said and Connor nodded in agreement. He glanced at Murphy.

"Ye can't fuckin' boost me up, can ye?"

"I can try. Don't use yer fuckin' bad arm. I'm not draggin' yer ass home if ye pass out." Murphy shifted and stood up next to Connor.

They glanced at each other, now close enough to really see. Connor winced as he saw the cuts and swelling on the right side of Murphy's face. He raised his hand but Murphy knocked it away with a wince.

"Leave it alone."

"Ye've got fuckin' glass pieces stickin' out of yer face, Murph."

"Ye can play fuckin' nursemaid later. Let's get out of the fuckin' car first."

"Boys." Da warned from the front seat. "Just figure out how ta do this. I don't want ta fuckin' hang here all day."

Murphy cupped his hands in front of him at waist level. Connor eyed it wearily.

"Are ye sure you can do this?"

"Just fuckin' do it, Conn."

Looking up at the window, Connor saw that most of the glass had fallen away from it. Gripping the frame with his left hand, he gingerly put one foot into Murphy's hands. He heard his brother's groan but continued going, knowing he'd be in worse trouble if he stopped. Pulling up, he managed to get to where he was sitting on the window frame.

He made the mistake of leaning on his right arm and felt the white-hot pain flare again. Breathing in sharply, he fought the edges of black on his vision. A hand grabbed his foot and he looked down at a concerned Murphy.

"Are ye okay, Conn?"

He couldn't answer, just closed his eyes and tried to will it all away. Something grabbed the frame right next to him and he felt Murphy's body trying to fit through. Opening his eyes, he saw his brother trying to pull himself up by one arm. Reaching out with his left hand, Connor used his weight and helped lift Murphy so that they were scrunched together on what was now the top of the car.

A hand pulled his coat back and Connor forced himself to concentrate beyond the pain. Murphy was leaning closer and his fingers gently moved over his shoulder. "Ye've definitely dislocated it."

"Thanks, Florence. Let's get Da out."

Together they stood up and held onto each other for balance. The cool air rushed around them and they could now see the interstate from where they were. They were just down the steep embankment from the road.

Murphy kept his right arm to his side and yanked opened Da's dented door with his left. Da turned his head to them. "Took ye two fuckin' long enough."

"Well, if ye'd given us the right fuckin' directions…" Murphy grinned down at him. Connor felt better when he heard Da's hearty laugh in return.

Both Connor and Murphy reached down with their left arms to grab Da's hands. Together, they pulled him out to stand beside them on the car. Connor kept his arm around Da, ready to support him if need be.

"Be careful gettin' down, Murph. The last thing we want if for this fuckin' car ta roll again." Da nodded and Murphy looked at him quickly. He nodded in return.

The car moved only slightly as Murphy worked his way down the undercarriage of the car until he was standing on the ground below them. Waving his hand, he motioned for them to follow. Da followed slowly first and then Connor worked his way down one-armed.

With their feet on solid ground again, they all looked at each other wearily. It was Murphy who grinned first. "I can't believe we're fuckin' alive."

"Yeah." Connor smiled slightly. "I think the Fertittas might be a bit fuckin' pissed off when they find out."

"Let's try ta get out of the fuckin' city before they do." Da sighed and winced as he stepped forward.

"Where are ye hurt, Da?" Connor exchanged a weary glance with Murphy as he held his left hand out to Da.

Da just shook his head. "Just a sore back, that's all."

Connor nodded at that and turned toward Murphy. "Let's check yer ribs."

"Only if ye'll let Da and me put yer shoulder back in place."

"Fuck."

"It'll feel better once ye do and ye fuckin' know that." Murphy stared at him until Connor agreed with a short nod of his head.

"Fine." Connor raised Murphy's shirt and ran his fingers along each rib, working hard to ignore the winces. Murphy's hand dug into his arm as he neared the bottom of the ribcage. Pulling his hand away, he nodded. "Nothing's broken. Just bruised."

"Fuckin' great." Murphy muttered through his teeth and then opened his eyes. "Yer turn."

Da stepped forward and put his hand on Connor's arm. Murphy's arms supported him from the side. Da looked up at Connor. "Ready?"

"Do it." Connor gritted his teeth and felt the blinding pain as Da popped his shoulder back into place. Pressure rushed through his head, building in his ears and he felt Murphy supporting his weight. He was breathing heavily but he stood back up again. Murphy's hands stayed in place, as if to make sure he wasn't going to fall.

After a moment, the throbbing subsided to a manageable ache and he opened his eyes again. Both Da and Murphy were watching him wearily. He gave them a small smile. "Let's get back home."

"Or at least Katie's apartment."

Murphy felt around in his coat and laughed as he pulled out his undamaged cell phone. "I can still call." He caught Connor's look and lost his smile. "Fuck."

"Yeah, fuck. Let's not tell 'em yet. They'll just get all fuckin' worked up."

"Ye'll have ta tell them eventually, boys." Da raised an eyebrow as they shook their heads.

"How about as we walk in the door? They can't hold a grudge that long, can they?" Connor tried to smile but Murphy just looked at him.

"Let's just get home and get ourselves cleaned up." Da started walking. "Then ye can worry about yer girlfriends and their grudges."

Murphy shrugged and started walking, leaving Connor to follow.

* * *

"Think you can do this for the rest of your life?" Sara's voice made Katie look up from her intent staring contest with the crackling Rice Krispies. She frowned at her.

"Do what?"

"Wait for them." Sara nodded at their two phones that sat side by side in the middle of the table. It was the first time either of them acknowledged them since waking up on the couch several hours before. The McManuses still hadn't called and it was nearing nine o'clock in the morning.

Katie shrugged. "It's not like Murph and I've promised each other anything." It was a complete dodge of the question and they both knew it.

"Bullshit. You may not have vocalized, but you've promised each other plenty. But are you ready to wait for them like this for the rest of your life?"

"If it means I'll get Murphy in-between waiting periods, yes, I think I am." Katie took a bite of her cereal before moving her eyes back to Sara. "What about you?"

"I don't know."

"You haven't had as much time to get used to it as I have. Give it time."

"I'm not sure there is enough fucking time in the world to make this easier, Katie." Sara drained the rest of her mug of coffee and got to her feet.

Katie stared up at her for a moment before nodding. "So you have to decide if it's worth it to you. Because it's who they are. And we can't change that."

"That's a hell of a decision to make this early in the relationship."

"Sara, he's not Greg."

"Yeah, I know. At least I knew not to wait for Greg's call." She started for the door, only pausing as she reached the door frame. "I'm just not sure if I can do this to myself again."

She left Katie alone in the kitchen to overwhelming masses of sudden worries and a bowl of now soggy Rice Krispies. Where were they? Why hadn't they called? Closing her eyes, Katie pushed the palms of her hands over them, blocking any possible flow of tears. _Bastards. Call, dammit. Call. Call!_

Steeling herself against her emotions, she realized that only one thing would make her feel better at this point. She had to go straight to the source. It was time to visit Smecker at work.

* * *

It had been nearly three A.M. when they'd stumbled in the door of Katie's apartment finally. Fortunately for them, they'd been only half a mile from her exit. And then another six blocks to her apartment.

They'd kept silent the whole walk, each of their own thoughts centering on the same thing, no doubt. What did they do now?

They didn't speak about it as they cleaned each others wounds, Connor taking nearly a full thirty minutes to take the small glass shreds out of the side of Murphy's face and treat each small cut. The swelling made it more difficult and Murphy could feel his eye beginning to swell shut. _Great, something else to worry Katie._

After the cut on Da's forehead had been treated, both Murphy and Connor convinced him to take Katie's bed for the night. His back was stiffening up and he was having less success in hiding the pain he was in. The lack of struggle to make him sleep there said something about his suffering.

As they got back into the living room, they had both stared at each other for a moment, analyzing who was hurt worse and thus, who needed the couch. Finally, Connor had simply nodded at him. He'd take the recliner.

"Take it. It'll help ye breathe easier ta be stretched out."

Murphy had been surprised, thinking he'd hidden the pain fairly well. One look at his brother made him realize he'd hidden nothing. Nodding, he had lowered himself slowly on the couch, working hard not to wince.

And now, nearly six hours later, he was still stretched out on the couch, phone in hand. He should call her. She would be worrying. He didn't want to lie though. And right now, if she asked if he was okay, saying anything but 'no' would be lying. He would rather keep her worried about the unknown than simply confirm her fears that they were hurt and more than four hours away from her. It would hurt Katie more to know there was nothing she could do to help them.

So, he would wait. Wait until both Connor and Da were awake. Wait until they had a better plan and a way home to her. He could only hope that Katie was distracted by something. Something to keep her mind off of things. He could only live with not calling her right now if he knew she was doing something besides waiting by the phone.

* * *

Katie sat down across from Smecker in one of the diner booths and waited. He had dragged her out of his office and off to lunch with promises of an explanation. They had been there a good five minutes and he hadn't yet spoken.

"Paul, please."

He raised his eyes to her and gave her a small smile. "Honestly, Katie. I've not heard anything yet."

She stared at him. "You brought me here to tell me that? You could have just said that at the precinct." She ignored the twisting in her stomach as she watched him sigh. Something was wrong. Really wrong if they hadn't even called him.

"Katie, sometimes it goes like this. They may have had to keep low for a day or so, which might mean no calls here. If something had happened, one of us would have heard about it."

Turning her eyes back down to the menu, she worked to keep her emotions at bay. "Unless none of them were able to call."

"Katie, do you think that Murphy is dead?"

She flinched at the word and lifted her eyes back to Smecker. "What kind of fucking question is that?"

He held up a hand to stop her. "I mean, do you feel that he's alive still. In here." He pressed his hand over his heart.

"I don't have a connection with him like that."

"I think you do. And I think you'd know if he were dead. I think you'd feel it in here." He tapped his chest again.

"Smecker, I need answers. Not romantic connection crap." She forced herself to say, not willing to allow herself to believe him. False hope she didn't need. She dealt better with real facts.

"Don't write it off as crap, Katie. I'm a strong believer in intuition. You work long enough in my field and you either believe in it or you become cynical about everything. I chose to believe. And a connection between two very close people is just a part of intuition."

She kept silent as the waitress delivered their orders and picked at her food for a few minutes, digesting what he had said. Finally, she looked up at him again.

"Paul, when have you had intuition work in your favor?"

"Well, in my favor, I'm not sure. But the night I chose to help the Saints."

"Go on." She took a long drink of her orange juice and wished it had vodka in it. He nodded slowly as he chewed his bite before speaking.

"I found out about Papa Joe's trap at his house on the east side. And I knew the boys were planning on going there. So, I did what I needed to, to get in."

"Which was?"

"I dressed as a fuckin' hooker, Katie." He grinned at her shocked expression. "What, you think I can't pull it off?"

She stared at him for a moment before smiling and shaking her head. "No, I think if any man I know could do it, it'd be you, Paul."

He laughed softly. "Yeah, well it worked. It got me into the house. Horny fuckers never think twice about a hooker being dangerous."

"So what happened?"

"I killed two of them and then found the third dead. The next thing I knew, something hit me on the back of the head and I was out like a fuckin' light."

Katie winced at him. He grinned again.

"Wanna guess who that was? Ever heard of Il Duce?"

Smiling again slowly, she stared at him. "Yeah, that name rings a bell."

"He's a close friend of yours, Katie." He laughed as he watched her realize who he was talking about.

"Da? He's Il Duce?"

Smecker nodded. Katie leaned back in the booth and pressed her lips together before bursting out into soft laughter. "Stories of him were told like he was a fucking ghost. I can't believe this. Da."

"Their Da is Il Duce. The Duke. Blows your frickin' mind, doesn't it?" He grinned widely.

"And here I've been in the presence of royalty all this time."

"Make sure you tell him that. He'll get a fuckin' kick out of it."

Katie chuckled again and took another bite. As she swallowed it, she looked back up at Smecker. "So, how did intuition work in that situation?"

He shrugged. "I knew I had to do something. Felt that I could help out. It just seemed right to do it, despite the fact that all of my training disagreed. I followed my guts that night and I've not regretted it since."

"Have you told the boys about this? It's not everyday that someone dresses up as a prostitute for them." Katie grinned but noticed that Smecker lost his smile as he shook his head. "Why not?"

"I don't mention that night. None of us do. That's the night Rocco died."

"Oh." She looked back down at her plate. They both fell silent as they ate. After a few more minutes, Katie looked back up at him. "So, do you have any news with this mafia war? Any new developments?"

He watched her for a minute with a smile. "You in training to be a fuckin' Saint?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "No, but I'd like to know."

"No. Nothing new really. The buzz died down a few days ago. Whatever they're planning is being kept hush-hush."

"How were you getting information before?"

"I had an informant on the inside."

"Had?" Katie watched him and felt the twisting in her stomach as he stared at his plate.

"Yeah, had. As in no more."

She didn't want to ask but needed to know. "And what happened to him.?"

Smecker raised his eyes to meet her gaze and she saw regret and pain. The answer was there too but he still spoke the words. "They killed him. Figured him out and killed him."

"I'm sorry, Paul." She leaned forward. He stared at her for a moment before lowering his eyes back to the table. He shrugged.

"It happens. Far too much, but it happens." He sighed. "In this situation, the worst part is, is that it is now much more difficult to know what to expect. I'll never find another informant as good as he was. And I'm not sure I'd want to risk one anyhow."

Katie was silent as she watched Smecker finish his food. She'd lost her appetite. A man had died for them and all they could afford to do was mourn the loss of information. Smecker reached for the check and she jumped at the sudden movement. He watched her for a second.

"Are you okay?"

Closing her eyes, she gritted her teeth. That fucking question. She hated the fucking question. Forcing a deep breath, she looked at him again. "I'm fine. Just lost in thoughts."

"They'll be fine, Katie. Give 'em time to get their job done and they'll be home."

She just nodded and smiled her thanks as he paid for their meal. She'd given up fighting that small detail for now. He walked her out the door of the diner and glanced at her again.

"Give them time. Just go home and wait. I'm sure they'll call soon." His voice was soft among the sounds of the traffic and people. She nodded and offered him another smile as he turned and walked away, leaving her to stand amongst the milling crowd of strangers. She'd never felt so alone.

_Go home and wait. Go home and fucking wait. _She fought the lump in her throat as she realized she could no longer wait. Pulling her phone out of her purse, she checked it again. Seeing that there were no missed calls, she had to force herself not to fling it into oncoming traffic. She could no longer wait. She had to do something.

Turning for home with a purposeful stride, she closed herself off to her emotions. Emotions weren't needed right now. Whispering threads of an idea had begun to form in her mind and she needed to concentrate on that. Need to concentrate on anything but the lack of ringing from her phone.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Apparently, I'm evil. But just so you know, I'm enjoying every minute of it. :):) Hopefully this chapter will help me get back into your good favor...:) But maybe not, who knows? **

She reached their apartment and used her key to quietly enter. The emptiness of the rooms without the boys didn't upset her this time. It only made her more determined. Her life may revolve around the three McManus men, but it didn't mean she had to sit home and wait for them. Especially since she might just be the best one in a position to do something worthwhile.

The silence of her phone stopped nagging at her as she reached her closet and threw the doors open. It was better she was left alone right now. She needed no contact that might talk her out of it.

The amount of clothes she'd purchased in the last few weeks would severely limit her options, but she knew that Sara's closet was always up for grabs as well. Something short, something sexy. These were not items usually found in Katie's closet. And she certainly wasn't finding them today.

Stepping back out of her bedroom, she closed the door quietly and stood in the hallway for a moment. Her eyes fell on the boys' door. To the sound of Sara's understanding laughter, she'd remade their beds the night before, after they'd had a nice dinner. Sara convinced her that they'd never know. They were men and men rarely kept track of the smell of their own sheets. Especially the _lack_ of smell of their own sheets.

Promising herself she wouldn't do anything stupid and pathetic, Katie indulged the need to go into their room. The thought had hit her that if things went somehow wrong, she might never see this room again. Or them again. Would never see him again. She also knew that if things went well and she came home unhurt, Murphy would probably kill her for doing something so stupid. _Damned if you do, damned if you don't._

With a slight smile, she sank down on Murphy's bed. They would be upset when they found out. But she couldn't just sit there and do nothing. She just didn't have the strength any longer to play the waiting lover role. Especially since she had experience with the mob. Valuable experience. And now, because of Smecker's influence, she also had a good idea of how to get back in. _'Horny fuckers never think twice about a hooker being dangerous'. And that works perfect for me._

She still felt guilty that a man had died because of them. And while she knew logically that more would probably die before this was over, this man had helped them. He had been vital to them as an informant. And now they were without one.

"And that's where I come in." Her whisper filled the room and she knew her purpose for being in this situation.

It might be God's will for them to face this mafia-formed army, but they weren't going to face it blind. Not if she could help it.

* * *

Sara found her eyes drifting away from her work again. She'd covered the phone with a notepad nearly an hour ago, but still, she knew it was there. And that alone was enough to distract her. Her emotions had been at war within since the night before he left and she was starting to feel raw inside.

She had been angry at first. Angry that he would put her in this situation, that he'd been forced by circumstances to leave just as she was getting comfortable. But she knew he didn't know. He didn't understand the fears she had, so he didn't know to do things differently. If there would have even been a way to do things differently.

With her inability to push Connor away for the moment, she'd been pushing Katie away instead. She knew that Katie understood the situation, but for the first time ever, she was unsure of whether her friend would be 'on her side.' She hated to think of things that way, but even though Katie was with Murphy, she still had a certain bond with Connor, too. And that meant that she might not see things as clearly as a best friend was supposed to.

Sighing, Sara leaned her face into her hands, breathing deeply to try to quell away the emotions. She couldn't work this way. Fuck, she couldn't even live this way. And that scared her. What if this was just a preview of how life would be as Connor's girlfriend? Getting him for a few nights, only to have him stolen away from her by a job. The job itself didn't bother her, as she understood it. Understood the need for it. And a large part of her loved Connor for being able to take that burden on for the rest of the world. But that didn't mean she could live that way.

Sara checked the phone again and saw that it was nearly four o'clock. Soon she'd be off of work and would have to go home and face Katie. As long as their conversations steered away from the McManuses, she loved being around her again. But she knew tonight, after another full day of no news, there would be no way of avoiding the topic.

She was worried. And she knew if she was worried, Katie was bound to be frantic, even if she managed to hide it well. Katie had the disadvantage of knowing many more details of what the mob was capable of. And thus, her imagination was much more likely to be running wild and driving her mad with concern. She just hoped that Katie would be still satisfied with waiting. Because Sara wasn't sure she could handle anymore drama. Not even Katie drama.

* * *

Katie reached Sara's apartment and immediately went to her closet. They were slightly different in size, but she hoped she could make what she found work for her. The red halter top she found stuffed into the far end of the closet fit a little snugger through the chest than she usually liked, but she figured that it might work to her advantage.

Shifting through the dresser drawers, she grinned when she found what she was looking for. The black mini skirt had been Sara's favorite during their early college days, and Katie knew deep down that Sara would never have the heart to get rid of it. And now it worked out perfectly for her that she knew her friend so well.

As she slipped it on and zipped the side of the skirt up, Katie realized that for the first time she was truly thankful for the weight she'd lost while being held at the warehouse. Sara had always been a little thinner than her. And taller. The length of the skirt was more of a decent length on her, but rolling it would make her waist line look too bulky. It was better to just look like less of a slutty hooker. _Is that even possible?_ She smirked and shook her head. _Leave it to me to break down the options of the 'hooker look.'_

Moving to the bathroom, Kate pulled out her makeup case and touched up her mascara, adding dark eyeliner and a mixture of eye shadows. Sara's deep red lipstick topped it off. Her hands shook slightly as she turned her head over and tousled her hair, adding some hair spray to give it volume.

Slipping on a pair of Sara's black strappy heels, Katie looked at herself in the full length mirror near the bed. Could she pass? Was she believable as a prostitute? _Do I even know what I'm doing? _Staring into the mirror, she realized she'd never gone this far before. And this was a step that might possibly change everything.

* * *

Connor's right shoulder still throbbed, despite the extra-strength Tylenol he'd found in Katie's bathroom medicine cabinet. He'd been mystified by most of the products he found lurking behind the threefold glass door, but finally his eyes landed on the large, half-full bottle near the top. Pulling it out carefully, he cringed as he watched everything shift. To his relief nothing fell.

He took the bottle with him out to the living room, partly because he was afraid to try to put it back and also because he knew they'd need it. Da's back was a little better, but he was still holding himself stiffly as he sat at the kitchen table, talking to Smecker over his cell phone.

Murphy sat with his feet up in one of the recliners and winced as he reached to grab the bottle Connor threw at him. He gave him a half smile of thanks but turned wordlessly back to the news.

They'd been like that most of the day. Plenty to talk about but nothing really to say. Both of their minds were with Boston and what it might hold for them when they returned. Da still hadn't given his okay for them to call the girls, but Connor knew as soon as he got off the phone with Smecker, he'd finally allow them too.

He'd asked them to wait until they knew for sure when they'd been coming home. And until he knew what they could safely say. Somehow, someone had known where they'd been and Da wondered if it wasn't connected with their phones. Connor thought that was a ridiculous idea, especially since they were pre-pay phones, but Da wanted to see what Smecker thought first. Then they could each make a call home.

Connor stared at the phone in his hand, wondering what he was even going to say. Things had been unsure with Sara when he'd left. And now, after two days of not talking to her, he had no idea where he stood. He was usually better at this with women. But that was before. Before he and Murphy's lives had become the constant state of turmoil and alarm.

Ironically, they'd switched places in their abilities of hanging onto a relationship. He'd always been the one to have long-term relationships with girls, while Murphy rarely had one last beyond a week. But it had been Murphy who had left this time with the strong relationship; albeit one that was still less than a week old. And now here Connor sat, unwilling to assume anything about his own.

Da looked over at them and nodded finally, as he pressed the button to end the call. He sighed. "We fly back tomorrow mornin'."

"We're fuckin' flyin' home?" Murphy frowned from his chair across the room. Da nodded.

"Aye. Smecker can't make the trip because he's in the middle of a big case. And he's not about ta send one of the girls."

"Fuckin' right he's not sendin' 'em up here." Connor glanced up from his phone and exchanged a nod with Murphy. "That'd be fuckin' idiotic."

"Ye can call yer girls. Smecker doesn't think they'll be trackin' the calls, but try ta keep the calls to a minimum in case." Da shifted in his chair and turned back to the table. Murphy picked up his phone and walked back to Katie's bedroom to call her. Connor sighed as he left, knowing he needed to call Sara now too. He'd be in worse trouble if he waited.

Holding the phone in his lap, he struggled to put down the footstool with his left hand, reaching at the awkward angle to the handle on the right side of the chair. Once he finally got out of the chair, he walked the bottle of Tylenol over to Da and set it on the table.

"Take 'em. It might help yer back." He grabbed glass of water and filled it at the table before setting it in front of Da. "And maybe, when we get back, you should go get that checked out."

"Connor, ye know I can't do that."

"It's not a fuckin' gunshot wound, Da. They probably won't think twice about it."

"Maybe."

"Just talk ta Doc. I'm sure he knows a good doctor somewhere in Boston who won't ask questions." When Da finally gave him a nod, Connor moved away from the table. Wandering into the hallway, he glanced down and saw that Katie's bedroom door was closed. There really weren't too many private places to talk in a one-bedroom apartment. For lack of a better option, he walked into the bathroom and sat down on the side of the tub.

"Hello?" She'd picked up her phone on the first ring, giving him little time to prepare what to say.

"Hey, Sara. It's me."

"Conn. How are things?" Her voice was softer and he knew what she was really asking. _How are you?_ So, he realized, they were both feeling awkward about things.

"Things aren't too bad. We're comin' home tomorrow mornin'."

"Great. I miss you."

"I miss ye, too. I'm sorry I had ta leave, Sara." He pressed his lips together as she sighed. There, it was out there. And when they got back, he knew they'd need to really talk about it.

"I'm sorry I was a bitch about it." Her words caught him off guard and he frowned down at the phone.

"I'd hardly say ye were a bitch. I'm sure it's not easy ta be left to wait for us."

"And I'm sure it's not easy to leave." She took a shaky breath and he knew she was crying. He felt useless, knowing there was nothing he could do about her tears from four hours away. "At least, I'm sure I didn't make it easy for you, Connor."

She had made it hard, but he could hardly say that to her. So he said the only thing he could. The one thing he really felt. "I love you, Sara."

He heard her sob then and squeezed his eyes shut at the lump growing in his own throat. Why couldn't things be easier?

"Connor." She whispered but didn't continue. They sat there in an awkward silence for a moment. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore.

"Its okay, Sara. I'm sorry. My timing is bad." He spoke quietly, hearing movement out in the hallway. Murphy's head peeked around the corner and Connor waved him away without looking at him. She was still silent on the other end. Closing his eyes, he leaned his head back. "But I just wanted to tell you that we're all fine here."

"Okay." Her response was so soft he could barely hear it.

"I'll see you tomorrow once we're back in town. Bye Sara."

"Wait." She spoke before he could move the phone to end the call. "Connor, I-"

"What?"

"Conn, I don't want you to think I don't care about you. Because I do. I just…I just don't say those words until I'm sure."

He nodded and sighed. "Me neither. But we can talk about this when I get home."

"That and a few other things."

"Okay. I'll see you then tomorrow."

"Bye, Connor."

"Bye." He pressed the 'End' button and leaned his head forward with another, louder sigh. Christ, why couldn't things be fucking easier!

Getting up slowly, he kept his right arm to his side to try to keep the pain level down. He was tired, he was hurting and now, he really didn't know what to do with Sara. A fight sounded really good right about now. Something to use his energy up. Maybe Murphy would be willing to fight with him. He usually was.

But as Connor rounded the corner, he saw that Murphy was sitting on the couch, looking very tense. Now wasn't the time to pick a fight with Murphy. _Fuck._ He looked up as Connor stepped in and stood up right away.

"She didn't pick up."

"What?" Connor put his left hand on Murphy's shoulder, seeing the worry in his brother's eyes.

"Katie. She didn't fuckin' pick up. I waited and called three times."

"Maybe she's at the bar. Ye know how fuckin' loud it can get there."

Murphy nodded slightly, and started chewing on his thumb. "Maybe."

"Try her again in a bit. If ye still can't get her ta pick up, than I'll call Sara back and see what she knows." Connor squeezed Murphy's shoulder and moved to the kitchen.

"Ye're probably right. I didn't think of her bein' at the fuckin' bar."

Connor glanced over where Da still sat at the table and saw that he was cleaning their guns. Pulling out a chair, he sat across from him. "What are we gonna do with our guns? We can exactly take 'em on the fuckin' airplane."

"We'll leave 'em here. And come back and get 'em sometime soon." Da didn't look up from his work. Connor nodded and looked over where Murphy sat on the couch, staring off at the far wall.

"Good idea." Connor agreed quietly, knowing his words fell on deaf ears. Neither Da nor Murphy were paying attention, each attempting to distract themselves and each failing miserably. Connor knew how they felt as he returned to picking at the label on his beer bottle, the conversation with Sara running through his mind again. Christ, it'd be good to just get home.

* * *

She'd gotten in. All the way into the house and now up in an empty bedroom on the second floor. And now, as the greasy looking, low-level mobster leered at her, she wondered what the fuck she'd gotten herself into. His eyes wandered down her body again.

"You must be new to this, honey."

"Why?" She gave him a provocative smile. "Don't remember a face like mine?"

He stepped closer, shaking his head and managed to back her against the wall. Her heart raced as he grinned at her again. "Faces? No, faces I don't remember. But these." He ran his rough fingertips lightly over her cleavage before putting a hand over each breast. "These I never forget."

His lips were on hers then, pressing harshly. He shoved his tongue in her mouth and forced a hand up her shirt. Katie fought hard not to gag and fight him off. He'd expect her to be enjoying this. But she had to slow him down. She had no intention of actually sleeping with him. He just didn't need to know that yet.

She pressed her hands against his chest and leaned her head back as far away from him as possible. "Slow down now. We have all night."

He shook his head. "Ha! I ain't payin' for a whole night, baby. I can't afford to go your pace."

As he lowered his head again, her mind raced as she thought of what she could do to distract him. None of the options seemed particularly attractive to her at the moment. She was hardly a prude, but now as she fought to keep kicking him as he began to work her slowly back to the bed, she wondered. Just how far was she willing to go for this? And how much was she willing to forgive herself for?

She bit her lip to keep from crying out as his hands squeezed tightly on her upper arms. The door squeaked open from behind them, but Katie's view was blocked as the mobster looked over his shoulder. "What do ya want?" His voice was angry and his grip on her tightened, making her bite harder into her lip to keep from making a sound.

"Frankie, what the fuck are you doin'? The boss is gonna be here soon."

"Just gimme a few more minutes and I'll be down." He began to turn back to her but the footsteps came closer, stopping.

"No, you'll go down now."

Katie's jaw dropped as she realized the voice sounded familiar. It was only as the blonde hair and hazel eyes came into view that she realized she was looking at the angry face of her brother. His eyes widened slightly as he looked closely at her, and she knew he was working hard to keep Frankie from seeing his reaction.

"Who do you have here, Frankie?" His voice was hard and he looked away from her. Katie was absolutely mortified as she realized what this must look like.

"A friend."

"Well, your _friend_ doesn't belong here. Go downstairs. I'll escort her out."

Frankie kept his hands on her arms, his fingertips digging in. "No. You just want her instead. She's mine."

"No, she's not yours, you fucking idiot." Peter glared at him and took a step toward the slightly bigger man. Katie thought she felt Frankie flinch a little. "And no, I don't want her. I'm not much on cheap women. Now get the fuck downstairs." He raised his hand and pointed toward the door.

Staring at Peter for a long moment, Frankie finally released her arms and stepped back. "Watch your fucking back, Pete." With one final glance at Katie, he walked out of the room and slammed the door shut.

She raised a hand to her lips and realized she was shaking. The taste of blood was inside her mouth but she ignored it as she stared at Peter. He hadn't looked at her yet. Instead, he simply stared at the door with his fists clenched. She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath.

"Please tell me this was a one-time deal." His soft question made her look up at him again, and she realized he'd turned to look at her. His eyes were hard as he took in her outfit and the red marks on her arms.

"Peter, let me explain…" She stared but he held his hand up.

"Please, please tell me this was a one-time deal, Katie." His voice took on more of a pleading tone and she saw his anger was wearing down. He'd always used his anger as a front for stronger emotions. Nodding slightly, she felt the tears fill her eyes as she stepped forward. He swallowed hard and closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

Katie was surprised to feel him sob and she rubbed her hand down his back. He may be a man, but he was still her little brother. And he was safe. He was alive. And he was in Boston! She pulled back slightly from him but found that he wouldn't let her go. Laughing softly she leaned back against him.

"Peter, what are you doing in Boston?"

"I could ask the same thing." His voice was still slightly thick but she recognized the serious tone. Silently, she prepared herself for one of his lectures. "Where did you disappear to?"

"I…uh, I was with Janie Fertitta."

"She said she was alone." He turned his head to look down at her. She shrugged.

"She lied. I don't know why, but she lied."

"Why didn't they find you when they found her?"

"A few friends had already helped me out of the situation by then. Janie had been moved to another location and they got me out of there."

"They?"

"Yeah, they." She frowned up at him. "Now what the fuck are you doing in Boston, Peter?"

"I'm on a job." He said carefully and she couldn't help but smile at the phrasing. _Obviously not the McManus type of job. _"I went in looking for you." His voice was soft and she could hear the emotion behind his words.

"You found me." She hugged him tightly again, fighting the lump in her throat. For a while, she wondered if she'd ever see her baby brother again. Now, as she stepped away from him, she realized just how much of a difference two years could make.

He seemed bigger than she remembered. More grown-up looking. She wondered if his smile still made him look like he was five again. Looking up at him, she realized she wasn't about to find out right now.

His eyes were serious as he studied her face. They worked their way down to her arms and she followed his gaze. Sighing, she ran her fingers over the red marks, seeing that the bruises were already forming. _Great, another thing to explain to Murphy._ Pulling her eyes back up to her brother's face, she offered a smile.

"Do I pass the exam?"

"What the fuck were you doing, Katie? Do you realize how dangerous Frankie can be? If I hadn't come in here when I did…" He squeezed his eyes shut and forced a deep breath. She waited until he looked at her again before answering.

"I was getting information."

He put his hands on her shoulders and bent down closer to her. "Information on what?"

She sighed. "On what the Fertitta's and the Yakavetta's are planning to do next."

His eyes gave away his confusion and his surprise. "What do you know about that?"

"You could say I know an interested party."

"What possible interested party could you know? It's the two families against some fucking vigilantes."

"And the Russians." She smiled slightly as he narrowed his eyes at her.

"How the fuck do you know that?"

"I know things."

"How do you-" He started to ask but then stared down at her, his eyes widening. "Who the fuck are your friends, Katie?"

"The Saints." She sighed as he let go of her shoulders and turned away from her. Running a hand through his hair, he began to pace.

"What the fuck have you gotten yourself into? What is it? They save you and now you risk your ass for them?" His questions shot out one by one and she shook her head quickly.

"No, no no. Peter, you've got it all wrong. They'd kick my ass if they knew I was here."

He stopped and looked at her before nodding again. "Rightly fucking so. I should kick your ass myself."

"And I should kick your ass for getting involved in the first place. This was my deal, my problem."

"And you're _my_ sister!" His voice echoed through the room and he shot a quick glance at the door before stepping closer and keeping his voice lower. "You are the only family I have left. I wasn't about to just let you fucking disappear without looking for you, Katie."

"Peter." She sighed, raising her hands to her forehead. "I'm grateful that you did. Really, I am." She added as he just looked at her. "But you found me. So you can go back to your much safer life of busting jaywalkers now. Please."

"No, I can't, Katie."

"What do you mean?" The fear she'd felt with Brett came rushing back to her now. She stared up at him, searching for a sign that he too was getting sucked in. That he was seeing more gray than black and white. She realized that he must have been able to read her expression as he stepped toward her and shook his head.

"I'm not Brett. That's not it at all. I just can't leave until my job is up."

"What's your job?"

"Gathering evidence. And keeping my contact informed." He rubbed his hand through his hair and glanced behind him again. "But Katie, I gotta get you out of here. It's not safe."

"Wait, wait. You're an informant?" She gripped his forearm tightly and he nodded down at her, wrinkling his brow.

"Yeah, I guess you could call it that."

"Isn't that dangerous, Peter?"

He laughed and to her ears it sounded rather jaded. "Fuck, Katie. That's hardly a wrinkle on the dangerous scale. You think that's worse than what I'm really doing here? That's a fucking add-on job. The last one got killed."

"I know. That's why I'm here."

"What do you mean that's why you're here?"

"Long story. Let's just say the Saints have a friend in the FBI."

He stared down at her for a moment. "I knew it. I knew someone had to be getting them information." Rubbing his hand over his chin, he narrowed his eyes. "Let's get you out of here. We'll take the back staircase."

Grabbing her by the elbow, he led her out forcefully, only letting her stop to grab her purse near the door. She allowed him to drag her that way, figuring he was making it look like he was throwing her out, just in case anyone was watching. Any other time, she would have smacked him for it.

It was only as he got her outside that she realized that darkness had started to fall. Peter put his arms around her tightly again, and she could feel the tension in his body. Pulling back, she ran her hand through his hair like she used to, watching it spring back up as she let it go. He looked down at her and then leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"I remember when you used to get the step stool out to do that." She kept her voice low and was finally rewarded by a smile. His face lit up like it used to and she felt finally that everything was alright, at least for the moment.

"What, you mean before I was ten?"

"Try thirteen, Pete. You didn't outgrow me until then."

He held her gaze for another second, losing his smile and suddenly growing serious again. "Katie, promise me you'll stay away from them. For your own good."

"Stay away from them?" She frowned up at him. He couldn't be saying what she thought he was saying.

"Them. The Saints. The families are after them. Fuck, they might already be dead for all I know. They don't tell me much about that yet. It's not safe to be with them." He glanced behind him quickly to make sure nobody was looking for him yet.

His words ran through her head. _Might already be dead. Might already be dead._ What if Smecker was wrong? What if Murphy had died already? And she hadn't even known it? Her heart raced as she stared up at her brother and she swallowed hard for control. Her voice sounded shaky and she didn't even try to hide it.

"You don't know what you're asking me. I can't do that."

"What have you gotten yourself into, Katie?" He whispered and she realized he could still read her fairly well. How did she explain it to him?

Shaking her head, she took a deep breath. "Not now, Pete. I've got to get back home." _I have to check my phone. I have to know. He couldn't be dead._ She raised her eyes to his again and saw that he was watching her closely. "Can I give you my number?"

He paused slightly before shaking his head. "I won't remember it and I won't risk having it written down."

"Okay." She sighed. "If you need to get a hold of me, find a bar called McGinty's on the south side. It's an Irish pub. Only mention my name to Doc. He'll know how to find me."

He nodded slightly and pulled her close to him again for one last hug. "Please, please be careful, Katie."

"You too, Peter." She laughed softly. "Te quiero, hermano."

He stepped back but kept his hand on her shoulder and smiled. "God, I haven't heard that in a long time. Te quiero, hermana."

"Goodbye, Peter." She gave him a smile instead of letting herself cry like she wanted to.

"Go down about a block and you should be able to find a cab on that first main street." He waited until she nodded before letting his hand slide off her shoulder. "Bye, Katie."

Walking away quickly then, she tried not to teeter on her heels on the rough driveway. She could feel him watching her but wouldn't allow herself to look back. A hooker wouldn't have looked back and that's who she had to act like now. She walked tall until she rounded the corner. Then her shoulders slumped and she fought the oncoming wave of tears. It was only once she got safely inside of the first empty cab that she allowed herself to breakdown.

* * *

Murphy glanced down at his phone again before slipping it into his pocket with a sigh. It was now seven o'clock and she still hadn't answered. Connor had finally broken down and called Sara, only to find that they weren't the only ones looking for Katie. However, Murphy was the only one truly alarmed. Both Connor and Sara agreed that she was probably at the bar and just hadn't heard her phone so far.

Getting to his feet, he wandered around her bedroom again, the pictures on the walls now familiar to his eyes after several hours of pacing by them. His eyes fell on her desk again and he sat down at her chair. He smiled as he realized he could picture her there, studying a thick text book or just talking on the phone.

His chest felt tight as he pictured her there in front of him now, laughing over something stupid and just being Katie. Christ, he missed her. He now understood why Connor had wanted to quit being a saint. He couldn't do this all of the time. Couldn't leave her for unknown periods of time. Couldn't know that if something happened, he might have to live without her.

_Where the fuck is she?_ Needing something, anything as a distraction, Murphy pulled the top drawer of the dresser. He smiled at the neatly organized contents. Everything seemed to have a place in the drawer. Closing it gently, he reached out and pulled the next drawer out. The drawer ended before he realized it and it fell on the floor with a loud thump, spewing papers all over the floor.

Connor poked his head in as Murphy leaned down to clean up the mess. "What the fuck are ye doin'?"

"I was lookin' at her desk." Murphy kept his eyes on the papers he was gathering, trying not to be embarrassed about being caught snooping. Connor laughed softly.

"Anything fun yet?"

Glancing up, Murphy shook his head with a grin. He should have known that Connor would understand. He moved his eyes to the drawer again and tilted his head as he looked at it. "This drawer is short."

"Well, yeah. It's a small desk, Murph."

"No, Conn. I mean this specific drawer is fuckin' shorter." Murphy reached his hand into the dark space slowly and grinned as his hand touched metal. Pulling it out, he held up a metal box. "A lock box."

Connor pulled it from his hand and peered down at it. "It's a fuckin' combination. Good luck gettin' it open."

"I'll let her open it. It must be pretty fuckin' important if it's locked AND hidden."

"That's actually not a bad idea. Maybe we should take a few more things ta her." Connor glanced around the room.

Murphy smiled slowly, nodding. Why hadn't he thought of that before? She'd never asked for anything, maybe never thought to ask. But everything she'd known before she'd been kidnapped was in that apartment. His eyes wandered the room, looking at everything again. "She'd love that. That's a fuckin' great idea, Conn."

"And, it'll give ye somethin' ta do until she calls." He looked pointedly at Murphy who nodded again in agreement. It would work. At his nod, Connor moved to leave the room but stopped as Murphy spoke up.

"Stay. Help me put a bag together for her."

"I thought ye wanted ta be alone. I thought that's why ye came back here."

Murphy shook his head slowly, keeping his eyes on his brother's face. "Please, stay. It was your idea anyhow."

Connor pressed his lips together and moved to sit on the bed. "What else do you think she'll want?"

Grinning at each other, they looked around the room again together. For the next short while, Murphy's phone was nearly forgotten.

* * *

Wrapping Sara's thick terry cloth rob around her tightly, Katie sat down on the edge of Sara's bed. It had been nearly 7:30 when she'd gotten home and Sara had fallen asleep on the couch with the lifetime channel on. That was good. That simply meant she didn't have to face anyone dressed as she had been.

But now, even after showering it all away, Katie wanted to hide. What she'd done, and what might have happened if Peter hadn't walked in, had finally hit her. Pulling her cell phone out from Sara's nightstand drawer, she turned it on and watched the screen light up. It let out several beeps and she saw that she'd missed seven calls.

Her heart raced as she scrolled down the missing calls directory and saw that five calls were from Murphy, one from Sara and the last one was from Connor's phone. They were alive! She squeezed her eyes shut against the sudden wave of tears and took a shaking breath. They were alive and they were looking for her. _Fuck, they'd been looking for her. Now she would need to explain where she was much sooner. Fuck!_

With shaking fingers, she pressed Murphy's speed dial number and listened as it began to ring. She fought the lump in her throat as he answered, his voice filled with concern.

"Katie? Where have ye been?"

"Busy." She managed to force out and took a deep breath. She heard him pause slightly.

"Are ye okay? What happened?"

"I'm fine, Murph. What about you guys?"

"We're alive." He gave a short laugh and she felt her heart speed up.

"What does that mean? What happened?"

"Calm down, Katie. It means we're fine, as well." His voice grew quieter. "God, I miss ye, Katie."

"I miss you too, Murph. You have no idea how much I miss you right now." She let the tears fall and knew he could hear it in her voice.

"Katie, tell me what happened."

"I found him. I found Peter."

"Oh, Christ, Katie. Is he okay?"

"No, no. He's alive, he's fine. And he is undercover."

She heard a sharp intake of breath and then the hard edge to his words as he spoke. "What the fuck did you do, Katie?"

"I found a way in. I was just going to get some information. But I found him instead."

"What the fuck were ye thinkin', Katie?" He was nearly yelling over the phone and she knew without a doubt he was on his feet and pacing. His accent grew heavier as he yelled at her. "Why would ye even fuckin' do that? When we're not even in fuckin' town ta protect ye? Are ye a fuckin' idiot or somethin'?"

"Murph." She started but he cut her off.

"How did ye get in, Katie?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Of course it fuckin' matters. What'd ye have ta do, Katie? What-" She heard muffled yelling as the phone was pulled away from him. A few more thumps came through to her before she heard Connor's voice.

"Now would ye like ta tell me why my brother is yellin' at ye?"

She felt a fresh wave of emotion as she recognized the slight humor in his voice, as well as the concern.

"I went in and I found Peter." She managed to choke out before muffling a sob with her hand. He sighed on the other end and she knew he heard her anyway.

"Are ye alright, Katie?"

"I'll be fine."

"But not yet, huh? Wanna tell me what happened?" He spoke softly.

She shook her head. "Not right now."

"Later then." He left no room for argument and she sighed. Just what she needed. To report to two McManus men.

"Think he'll talk to me again?" She asked, preparing for a no.

"Of course. He needs ta talk to ye again." She heard him put his hand over the phone, but the words on the other side still came through clearly. "Calm down, asshole. Talk to her nicely."

When Murphy's voice came on again, all she heard was a sigh.

"Murph, I'm sorry. Come home and you can yell at me here. But just please come home." Her voice broke again and she moved the phone away from her mouth to take a shaky breath.

"It's okay, Katie. We'll be home tomorrow morning. I'm sorry, I didn't mean ta ye cry."

"You're mad, I understand."

"No, I'm not mad. I'm upset that ye'd take that chance…" He trailed off again and she heard him sigh. "Listen, I'm glad ye're okay. And we'll talk about this when I see ye tomorrow."

"What time are you leaving to drive home?"

"Ah, well." He paused and gave a short laugh. "We're not drivin'. We're flyin'."

"Why? What about the car?"

"We've had a bit of car trouble. The car won't make it home. So, Smecker found us a flight home tomorrow mornin'."

"Oh, okay. Why do I have a feeling there's a story to this, Murphy?"

"Because ye've got a suspicious mind, Katie." She could tell he was smiling as he said it. "I love ye."

"I love you, too, Murphy. I'll see you tomorrow when you get here."

"Stay out of trouble until then."

"I could say the same to you." She laughed softly. "Bye, Murph."

"Bye, Katie."

She held on the line and waited to hear him end the call before she pulled the phone away. Setting the phone down on nightstand, she curled up on the bed and let herself really cry.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Yeah, my beta's back! So here is the official 'return to being pre-betaed' chapter! (That's why there might have been a slightly longer wait...) Thanks for all of the reviews! I have been trying to answer any questions and comment on any really good comment by replying back to you. But if all else fails, if you have any questions/ideas/suggestions/flames, you can always send me a PM on here:) **

Katie's heart raced as she settled into one of the blue plastic seats at the Logan airport. Pulling a People magazine out, she tried to get herself interested in it. She was early. The McManuses plane wasn't set to arrive for at least another ten minutes but she still found herself glancing up every few seconds and scanning the terminal for a familiar face.

After waking up that morning full of energy, she realized there was only one thing she could do. Meet the boys at the airport. Calling Smecker as soon as eight o'clock rolled around, she all but forced him to let her take his car and meet them. Between sighs and a few sputters, he agreed finally.

And now here she sat, her sweating palms sitting flat against the glossy spread of the magazine across her lap. Her heart jumped as she saw Connor walking casually into the terminal, carrying two small bags in his left hand. He didn't see her, despite the fact that his eyes had started wandering. She knew he was looking for Smecker.

Grinning, she set her magazine aside and grabbed her purse. Stepping up to him, she stood directly behind him and waited quietly for him to turn around. It took him a minute but he finally worked his way to turning. His eyes widened and his lips parted in surprise as he stared down at her.

"Katie. What the fuck are ye doin' here?"

"Nice to see you, too." She threw her arms around him and he dropped his bags to hold her with his left arm. Hearing him wince as she squeezed him tightly, Katie looked up at him with a frown. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He looked behind her quickly before his eyes were back on her face. "Listen, Katie. I should warn ye…"

"Conn, help me with these…" Murphy's voice rang out. "Katie?"

She spun around with a grin but stopped smiling as she stared at them. Da sat in a wheelchair with a few bags on his lap, the dark cut on his forehead standing out against his mostly white hair.

Her eyes fell on Murphy and she felt the tears coming only moments before they filled her eyes. A long bruise stretched down the right side of his face, ranging from a deep purple to light green along the edges. Half a dozen small red cuts speckled the bruise from his forehead to his cheekbone.

She saw Murphy glance at Connor behind him before dropping his bags and stepping toward her. "It's not as bad as it looks, Katie." His voice was soft and she raised a hand to her mouth to hold back a sob.

His arms came around her quickly and she buried her face into his shoulder, letting the tears flow. He held her tighter as her shoulders shook with sobs. "What happened?"

"A car accident. We're all fine." He spoke to her softly, rubbing his hand over her back. She pulled back away from him, feeling angry at his words.

"You said you were fine then, too. Why didn't you fucking tell me, Murphy?" Her voice was trembling and she worked to keep another sob back. He reached out to her but she stepped back.

"I didn't want ta worry ye. There was nothin' ye could have done."

"So this is somehow better?"

"Katie." Connor's voice came softly from behind her. She shook her head and barely spared him a glance.

"No, Connor. This is between your brother and me."

"Not in a fuckin' public place, Katie. This is not the time fer this."

She kept her eyes on Murphy who was watching her wearily, no longer trying to touch her. "What happened?"

"They came after us. Ran our car off the road." Murphy stepped closer as he spoke, keeping his voice low. He still simply kept his arms at his sides.

Nodding shortly, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, forcing herself to remain calm. Connor was right. They couldn't do this in a public place. Smecker had specifically warned her to not draw any unnecessary attention to the McManuses.

Turning she moved to crouch down near where Da sat in the wheelchair. She looked at him. "How are you hurt, Da?" Her question was shaky again, and he put his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine, lass. It's a bit of a disguise. Me back only hurts a little now." He grinned at her and she nodded slowly, finally giving him a small smile.

"Good." She stood up and turned to Connor. He continued to frown at her and she stepped closer. "Where are you hurt?"

He pressed his lips together, hearing the resigned sigh in her voice. "I dislocated me right shoulder. I'm fine."

"Yeah, that's why you're not carrying bags in that hand. Because you're 'fine'."

Finally, she turned back to Murphy and watched him for a second. She was quieter as she asked him the same thing. "Where else are you hurt, Murph?"

"Bruised ribs, right side. And I am fine."

"Whatever." With that she used the shoulder strap of the two of the duffle backs to put one on each shoulder. She picked up another two smaller bags and nodded stiffly towards the end of the terminal. "The car's this way."

They carried the two smaller bags that remained and followed her in silence. She led them to the car drop-off/pick-up area and set the bags down near the curb. Without looking at them, she dug Smecker's keys out of her pocket. "Wait here. I'll bring the car around."

She walked off before anyone could speak up, forcing herself to keep her emotions away. No one called out to stop her.

* * *

After they all helped her load the bags into the truck, Murphy slipped into the front seat next to her. He kept glancing at her, unsure of what to say to make things better. He wasn't sure if this was a fight or not.

The backseat was quiet as she pulled out onto the interstate and after glancing back, he saw that both Da and Connor had relaxed against the seats, eyes closed. _Good, they need it._

They had all been nervous wrecks the entire morning, knowing they were taking a big risk. And he and Connor felt even worse, knowing what they had need to explain as they got home. He should have known she would show up to pick them up. As he thought about it, he realized it really was something that he should have foreseen.

But he hadn't, and he was still feeling the shock of finding her in the terminal waiting for them. He hadn't been able to prepare her. And the fucking look on her face was more than enough punishment for him.

Reaching out, he laced his fingers through hers. He needed contact. And he had a feeling that so did she. After a moment, she squeezed his hand in response, keeping her eyes on the road. They sat in silence for a little while and Murphy raised her hand to his mouth, gently kissed the back of it.

"I'm sorry."

She sighed and glanced at him. "I know you are, Murph. You didn't expect me to be there, I know. It was probably the wrong choice for me to make."

"No." He shook his head. "It was the wrong choice for me not ta tell ye."

"I have a feeling it wouldn't have gone over well no matter how you told me."

He leaned over and pressed his lips to her temple. "I just don't want ta see that look on yer face again for awhile."

"Then don't come home with _your_ face looking like that for awhile." She replied quickly and he nodded.

"Touché."

Murphy kept a hold of her hand but leaned back against the seat, relaxed. They rode the rest of the way in silence and he was perfectly fine with that. They still had plenty of discussing to do when they got home. So he would enjoy the silence while he could.

* * *

Connor knocked on the door of the bathroom again, getting annoyed. Murphy had been in there forever and he still needed to shower before they left. After there was still no response that he could hear, he opened the door quickly.

Katie whirled around, holding the towel around her tightly. "What the fuck are you doing, Conn?"

"Sorry." He grinned. "Thought Murph was in here…" He trailed off as his eyes found the bruises on her arms. Something in his gut twisted as her raised his eyes back to her and saw the fear and embarrassment there. Stepping all the way in, he shut the door behind him quickly.

Katie stepped back, and gave a nervous laugh. "Connor, you do realize I have nothing on underneath this towel, right?"

"Then keep the fuckin' towel around ye and we'll both be okay." He put his hand on her elbow and raised her arm up closer to him. A series of darker, round bruises were surrounded by lighter and wider bruises. They looked like finger marks to him.

Releasing her elbow, he clenched his fists and looked at her. "Now we need ta fuckin' talk. I'll wait for ye in yer room."

He closed the door softly behind him and sighed as he moved to her room. Pacing slightly, he looked around the room, his eyes not focusing on anything. What had happened to her? She said she had gone in, but she didn't say how she did it. His mind raced as she stepped into her room, fully clothed and not meeting his eyes.

Leaning back against the wall next to her dresser, he crossed his arms and watched her. "What happened, Katie?"

"Nothing, I'm fine." She moved to the bag she had set on her bed, turning her back to him. He stayed where she was, sensing that she needed her space at the moment.

"Where did the bruises come from?"

"Why does it matter, Connor?" She sighed.

"Because, I need to know." He stepped forward and moved to sit on the bed next to her. She still avoided his eyes. "And Murphy'll need ta know, too, when ye tell him about this."

"I can't tell him, Connor." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Why not?" Worry had begun to eat at him as he watched her. Something was wrong here. Really wrong.

"Because I kissed another man. I went in as a fucking prostitute, Connor. I'm such a fucking idiot that it didn't occur to me what might happen. What I might have to do." She took a deep breath and her voice broke. "The guy was fucking all over me before I realized it."

The bottom of Connor's stomach dropped out as he stared at her and he forced himself to not get emotional. Murphy would do plenty of that for the both of them, and that sort of reaction was the last thing she needed at that moment. But he still had to know.

"Did you…did he?" He stopped and swallowed the jumble of possible words in his throat, unable to get the right words out. She shook her head.

"Peter saved my fucking ass. Just like usual, I got into something I couldn't get out of on my own. I was fucking lucky."

"He was rough with ye, though? And that's where the bruises came from?" He tried to phrase it gently and he watched a tear run down her cheek as she closed her eyes and nodded. "Did he do anything else to ye before yer brother got there?"

She shook her head slowly, keeping her eyes closed. His temper was simmering just below the boiling point. He wanted nothing but to find this guy, though he knew that was hardly the answer in this situation. Sighing, Connor laid his hands over one of hers that was tightly gripping the handle of her bag. She raised her other hand to her face, rubbing her temple and forced a deep breath.

"It's okay, Katie. Yer safe with us now." The words slipped out before he realized he had even been thinking them, but her eyes opened and she looked at him in surprise.

"You're not gonna yell at me? Tell me what a fucking idiot I was?"

"I think ye already know that. And me yellin' at ye won't do either of us a bit of good, now will it?"

Shaking her head, she looked at him wearily. "Do I have to tell him?"

"Yes. This isn't something ta keep from him." Connor let go of her hand and got to his feet. "I'll go find him and send him in here. You decide how ye want ta do it."

"Do I have to do it now?"

"Yes, Katie." He paused with his hand on the doorknob. "Just remember that no matter how he reacts, he's feeling that way because he loves ye."

Closing the door softly behind him, Connor stepped away from it with a sigh. For once, he had no idea how his brother was going to take this.

* * *

The door opened behind her and she felt her hands already starting to shake. Turning slowly, she saw Murphy watching her confused. "What's goin' on, Katie?"

"What'd Connor tell you?"

"That ye needed ta talk ta me."

Closing her eyes, she tried to squash her nerves. _Fucking great prepping. Thanks Connor. _A hand lifted her chin and she jumped, not realizing he had gotten that close. Murphy put a hand on her shoulder and eyed her carefully.

"What's goin' on here?" His voice was soft and she swore he sounded a little suspicious. _Great, now I'm getting paranoid. _

"I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, I got that much. Is this about what ye did last night?"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah."

They were silent for a moment and she knew he was waiting for her to speak. Finally he sighed and rubbed his hand through his hair. "What did ye do ta get in last night, Katie?"

"I got the idea from Smecker. I…I dressed as a fucking hooker, Murph." She kept her eyes focused behind him, afraid to see his reaction. The words kept spilling from her mouth and she knew if she stopped, she'd never finish. "The guy kissed me and his hands were all over me. But Peter came in before he could really do anything else. I'm sorry, Murph. I'm so sorry I even went there."

He was silent but she was afraid to see the expression on his face. He didn't reach out to touch her and she realized that hurt more than anything else. _Maybe he doesn't want you anymore._ Taking a shaky breath, she heard him shift slightly.

"Why'd ye tell Connor first?" The betrayal mixed in with the anger in his voice surprised her. She knew he would be upset with her, but she hadn't considered he might also be hurt that she talked to Connor before him.

"He saw the bruises. And forced me to talk to him."

"The bruises?" He raised his voice and she felt a twinge of fear at the fury in it. "Show me."

With trembling fingers, she pulled up the sleeves of her fitted t-shirt and felt him cup her elbow in his hand. His fingertips whispered across the soft part of her arm, circling the darker of the bruises.

She raised her eyes to his face finally and bit her lip as she realized she couldn't read the mixture of emotions there. He didn't meet her gaze as he pulled her sleeves down gently. With no more than a sigh, he turned and left the room. The door shut quietly behind him and Katie stared at it.

_He's walked away. He left you. You're done. _The words floated through her head and she suddenly felt the need to get out of there. Grabbing her new coat from the end of the bed, she slipped it on and walked quickly out of the apartment without looking at anyone.

* * *

Connor watched Katie hurry by but couldn't get the words out to stop her in time. He got to his feet and walked into the hallway, seeing that both bedroom doors were shut. _Two guesses which one Murph's behind._

His hand touched the cold metal of the doorknob and he walked into their bedroom quietly. Murphy leaned up against the wall near the window, his eyes staring out into the rain. He didn't acknowledge Connor's presence.

"What are ye doin', Murph?" Connor finally sighed and stepped closer to his brother. Murphy turned and he felt a twist in his gut as he saw the emotions on his face.

"What the fuck does it look like I'm doin'?"

"Hidin'." Connor barely had the words out before Murphy stepped forward, his eyes flashing.

"Fuck off, Connor.

"Get a fuckin' hold of yerself, Murphy. I'm not here ta fuckin' fight with ye." He put a hand on his brother's chest and was only slightly surprised when Murphy smacked it away.

"Leave me alone."

"She just left, Murphy."

Murphy's eyes found his again and he frowned, losing some of his visible anger. "What?"

"She just fuckin' walked out the door. I just thought ye might want ta know."

"And what am I supposed ta fuckin' do about it?"

"Talk ta her."

"I can't." Murphy closed his eyes and swallowed hard. Connor knew he was fighting his emotions then. Putting his hand on his brother's shoulder, he squeezed lightly.

"Yes, you can. Because ye have ta. Because right now, I guarantee ye that she thinks she's lost ye."

Murphy raised his eyes to him and he sighed. "What do I do?"

Connor pressed his lips together, and realized that Murphy hadn't come to him for answers like this for a long time. _He must be really lost this time_. "Just reassure her that ye still love her. And that ye just need time ta work this out."

Rubbing a hand over his face, Murphy nodded slightly. Connor embraced his brother tightly for a moment. When Murphy's arms went around him, he knew he had been right. It was what his brother needed at the moment. They stepped back after a few seconds and Murphy left the room without glancing back.

* * *

Katie felt herself getting soaked as she stood outside the apartment building, unsure of where she wanted to go. She had just thought to get out of there, not of a specific destination. The rain poured down around her and she raised her face to it.

She knew he was beside her before he spoke her name. "Katie." That single, simple word made her want to break down. Instead, she bit her lip and sighed.

"What, Murph?" Her heart hurt, her mind hurt and suddenly she wanted nothing more but to be alone and far, far away from him. To be somewhere where she could break down with nobody around to stop her.

His hands touched her shoulders and his lips met hers before she could say anything. He kissed her deeply but with none of the sweetness he usually gave her. Her mind worked slower as her body started to react but she managed to put her hands on his chest and push him away. He stared down at her, droplets of rain sticking to his face.

She could read no emotion from his eyes. He simply watched her, waiting for something. But for what? He didn't say he was sorry for leaving her or that he forgave her for what she'd done. He had simply kissed her, hard. _He's fucking reclaiming me._

Stepping away from him, she shook her head. "You can't just fucking remark your territory." His gaze was defiant and he didn't answer her. The pain in her chest tightened and she turned to hide the tears that were coming on.

But she barely got three strides away before he grabbed her hand to stop her.

"Wait. Please, wait." His voice was quiet and she could have sworn she heard a pleading tone. But she didn't turn, not sure if she could go another round with him.

He kept his hand in hers as he led her into the alley, pushing her gently so that she stood against a dry area against the wall. An eve hung over them and Murph stepped to the side of her to stay out of the rain, but he continued to face her.

"Let's try this again." He kept his voice low but she continued to stare away from him. "I'm sorry I walked out like that. I just needed a chance ta think."

"You did exactly what I was afraid you were going to do." She managed to get out and took a shaky breath. He put his hand on the side of her face and she raised her eyes to met his.

"I wasn't walkin' away from ye. We're gonna be fine, Katie."

"Are we?" She blinked hard and felt the tears fall down. He nodded and wiped a tear away with his thumb. She took a shaky breath. "God, I'm tired of crying." She leaned her head against his shoulder as he stepped closer and put his arms around her.

He laughed softly. "Fuck, and I'm tired of makin' ye cry."

She lifted her head and smiled at him. He ran his thumb across her cheek again, staring into her eyes. "Let me try this again, too."

Leaning forward, he kissed her gently, teasing her lips with his. She sighed into his mouth as he slowly deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping into her mouth. Pressing against him, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him as close as possible. She shivered against him as he led a trail of kisses down her neck. Chuckling softly, he pulled his coat to wrap around her and brought his lips back to hers.

Finally, after another moment of holding onto each other, he eased back a little and smiled down at her. "I do believe I missed ye, Katie."

"Good, then maybe you won't leave me again." She laughed softly. "After all, we tend to get into trouble when we're apart."

"Or cause trouble." He grinned.

"Yeah, yeah. That too."


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Another slightly shorter chapter, but I promise to make it up with the next one! Oh, and it seems I set off a lot of curious minds with the mysterious locked box of Katie's... I found that pretty funny as I never meant for it to be. There are items in there that are important to her, but nothing plot-changing, I promise. And we'll get to see the contents soon enough, once they stop being so distracted by everything else...**

Katie welcomed the warmth of the apartment as they walked back in a few minutes later. Murphy kept his hand on her the small of her back and led her to the hallway. Letting go, he smiled at her. "I'm gonna take a shower quick. We can talk after that."

Nodding, she watched him disappear through his door and she shivered again. She had to get into some dryer clothes. Going into her room, she shut the door quickly behind her.

She had just pulled her shirt on and buttoned her jeans where there was a knock on her door. Sighing, she grinned. "Come in." The door opened behind her as she toweled off her hair and she was surprised to see Connor watching her carefully. He stood just inside the door, shirt in hand but not on yet. Her eyes wandered to his shoulder which was covered by a large, misshapen bruise. She ignored it, knowing he wouldn't appreciate attention on it at the moment.

She shook her head. "Connor, stop flirting with me."

He narrowed his eyes at her in confusion. "What?"

"Your shirt." She laughed as she saw him make the connection. He grinned at her and pulled his shirt on. Katie would never admit it, but she enjoyed the sight in a purely platonic way. He stepped inside the door then and shut it.

"Murph's in the shower."

"I know. He told me already."

"So, are ye gonna tell me how things are?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "I figured he already did."

"Nope. He barely said a word. Seemed ta be in a thinkin' mode."

"Things are going to be okay."

"But not yet." He kept his eyes on hers and she shrugged.

"We really haven't talked yet." Running a hand through her hair, she started working out the tangles. "Thanks for sending him out."

He just moved his eyes away, seeming slightly guilty. "I…he didn't know ye left."

Moving to him, she reached up and ran her hand over his spiky, wet hair. "You know you're worse than a meddling old lady, right?"

Keeping his mouth shut, he just gave her a small smile.

"I appreciate it, Connor. Really." Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him on the cheek. With another grin, she walked out of her bedroom.

Da was in the kitchen as she walked out there. His back was to her and he was standing in front of the stove, stirring something. Katie grinned and stepped closer.

"What are you doing, Da?"

"Makin' lunch." He kept his back to her but he turned his head when she laughed. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." She sat down at the table so that he could see her from where he stood. He glanced over.

"Ever thin' okay?"

"Yes, Da. Everything's fine." She sighed, realizing that she would have to continue answering that question for a little while yet. They were both silent and Katie stared off at the far wall, lost in thought. Both Murphy and Connor came out a few minutes later and they all sat down to quietly eat lunch.

Katie noticed that despite the silence, there was plenty going on as they ate. Murphy kept watching her, Connor kept his eye on Murphy and she found herself watching Da. It seemed that Da was the only one truly distracted by the chili he had made. As he moved to take his bowl to the sink, Katie watched him wince. His back _was_ still bothering him, no matter how much he tried to hide it. Sighing, she made a mental note to convince him to see a doctor.

A few minutes later, Connor got to his feet and rinsed out his bowl in the sink. Grabbing his coat off the back of Katie's chair, he exchanged a nod with Da. "We're gonna take Smecker's car back ta him."

"What else are ye doin'?" Murphy frowned up at him. Connor smiled slightly.

"Da needs ta talk to Smecker about what happened in detail. And I have a few other things ta do."

Katie pointed her spoon at him. "Go see Sara."

"That at the top o' me list." He sighed but smiled again. "Think she'll see me?"

"Of course she will."

"Good." Nodding, he moved to the door. She glanced at him again.

"But Conn, if you have any problems with her, call me. I'll beat her up for you." She grinned at him and felt better to see him smile fully. His mood had seemed to go steadily down all morning.

Both Da and Connor nodded at Murphy and walked out the door, shutting it behind them. They were both silent for a moment before Katie finally glanced at Murphy and laughed softly.

"Gee, think there was a plan there?"

"A plan?" Murphy took another bite of his chili.

"Yeah, to leave us alone to talk."

"Aye, that was definitely planned." He finally raised his eyes to her and just looked at her for a moment. "But let's clean up first."

Nodding, Katie grabbed her bowl and busied herself with filling the sink with soapy water. She felt herself getting nervous, despite the fact that Murphy was simply standing beside her drying each dish that she washed. As she finished, she pulled the plug and watched the water swirl down. Only when it stopped and she didn't have anything else to distract her did she raise her eyes to Murphy. She waited.

* * *

Sara's eyes were on the computer when she felt someone watching her. Figuring it was her assistant, Mags, needing yet another answer, she didn't look up. "Yes?"

"Hey." His voice was quiet and Sara felt her heart skip as she raised her eyes to meet his. He smiled slowly as he watched her, and she felt herself melt just a little bit. _He could get out of anything with that smile._

A little surprised that her knees would actually support her, she stood up and walked to him. He managed to put his arms around her and shut the door to her office in two seemingly efficient moves. He held her tightly for a moment before turning so that her back was against the door.

She stared up into his face, her heart racing as he raised his hand to cup her cheek and leaned down to kiss her. As their lips met, she knew she had never feel this way when anyone else kissed her. Her breath caught in her chest and she pulled her lips away from his, burying her face against the damp felt of his pea coat.

Connor was a one of a kind; that she already knew. But even the magic she felt in that one kiss didn't guarantee her that he would make her happy. Or that she could ever be enough for him. Would ever be enough to keep him from walking away. _He's not Greg. He's Connor._

He seemed satisfied to just hold her as the thoughts raced through her head. And she realized that that was something else in him she liked. His patience. His willingness to wait for her. But would she end up testing that, too?

"So how did things go?" She finally forced herself to ask, pulling them out of the moment and back into reality. He stepped back from her and she immediately missed the warmth. Walking to sit behind her desk again, she covered her emotions.

He sighed and rubbed his left hand over the back of his head. "Well, that's something I need ta talk to ye about."

Sara raised her eyes to his. She felt the intensity of his gaze and was a little glad to have the desk as a buffer between then. Right now, she needed to step back from him to gain some ground. Otherwise, she might not be able to stay in control of this situation. Nodding slowly, she motioned for him to sit down.

"What happened?"

He remained standing, leaning slightly against the large bookcase next to her desk. His eyes wandered the room and she watched as he glanced behind him toward the door. A bad feeling came over her as he finally looked back at her.

"Connor, what happened?"

"I didn't tell ye everything over the phone. They came after us. Fuckin' ran us off the road."

She pressed her hands flat against her desk and stared up at him. "Is everyone okay?"

He nodded quickly. "Yeah, we're all fine. A bit roughed up, but alive."

"You're hurt?" She was out of her seat before she could stop herself. He covered her hands where she had put them on his chest.

"Just sore. Dislocated me shoulder is all."

"Which one?" She pulled at his coat gently, and he slipped it off.

"Right one. That's where the car landed."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Where it landed? You fucking rolled the car, didn't you?" Her hands were steady as she pulled up the sleeve on his t-shirt, but she still winced as she looked at it.

"Hey, _I _didn't roll anything. The car fuckin' rolled on its own." He grinned as she made a face at him.

"Funny, Connor. Real freaking comedian here." She gently kissed the center of the bruise. "I'm just glad that you're okay."

He ran his hand down her hair and kissed the top of her hair. "Christ, ye made this easy on me."

"What?" She laughed softly, crinkling her forehead.

"Ye're just dealin' with this a hell of a lot better than Katie did."

"What happened, Connor?" Her words came out as a sigh and she leaned back against her desk. He pressed his lips together and rolled his eyes.

"Well, she came ta meet us at the airport this mornin'."

"Yeah, I knew she was going to."

"Well, Murph's a bit rougher lookin' than I am. And she had no warnin'." He sighed.

"Is your brother okay?"

"Aye, he's fine. He just cut up the side of his face and that's the first thing she saw of him."

"Poor Murph." Sara shook her head and Connor tilted his head at her.

"Don't ye mean poor Katie?"

"No, I mean poor Murph. I know how Katie can get when she's upset."

"Well, he'd not happy with her, either." Connor said and shook his head when Sara frowned at him. "Too much fuckin' drama today. He was rightly pissed when he found out what she did last night."

"Last night? What did she do?"

Connor stared at her for a moment before raising both of his eyebrows. "She didn't tell you?"

"No, I fell asleep before she got home. And she was already in bed when I woke up. She wasn't at the bar?"

"She dressed as a prostitute to get into one of Yakavetta's places to get fuckin' information."

"She did what?" Sara's jaw dropped and she brought a hand to her mouth. Something twisted in her gut as she thought about it. _Katie went back in. She could've been killed. She didn't tell me._ As she raised her eyes back to Connor, he nodded slowly.

"And she found Peter."

"Here, in Boston? Why the fuck was Peter in with the mafia?"

"He's undercover. She didn't tell you anything?"

Sara shook her head and realized that it hurt. Katie hadn't trusted her with this. She understood why she kept it from the McManuses to a certain degree. But why from her?

"Katie and I are gonna have a little talk." She spit out and crossed her arms over her chest. Connor laughed softly.

"Well, I have a feelin' that Murph's already beat ye to it."

"Yeah, well, then she'll get two lectures."

"Maybe three." He grinned as she raised an eyebrow at him. "What? I don't get my turn?"

"If there's anything left of her, you can have a turn."

* * *

Murphy could see the nerves in her movements as she turned to finally look up at him. He took a deep breath and forced himself not to chew on the edge of his thumb. Nodding toward the table, he sighed. "Go sit down."

Grabbing two beers, he pulled a chair to sit facing her and handed her one of the beers. She took it and raised an eyebrow at him. "Are we gonna need these, Murph?"

Smiling slightly, he shrugged. "Don't know."

They were both silent until she opened hers and took a drink. He stood watching her, fighting the sudden need to just let the issue go. They had to discuss it. There was no other way.

Sitting finally, he leaned forward and put his hands on her knees. "Tell me what happened."

She raised her eyes from her beer bottle after a moment. "Smecker lost his informant. So I thought maybe I could get some information. I mean, I had something going before I meet Janie. I wasn't bad at it."

Taking a drink, she set her bottle on the table and intertwined her fingers. Murphy leaned back slightly, moving his hands to cross over his chest but remained silent. _Keep goin', Katie. Help me fuckin' understand here. _After they were both silent for a moment, she sighed lightly.

"I got the idea that they wouldn't suspect a prostitute. And that would be the quickest way in. Everything else I'd ever tried had taken weeks. And frankly, we don't have fucking weeks." She leaned her elbows on the arms of the chair, crossing them in front of her.

Murphy sighed and brought his thumb to his mouth to chew on. He was beginning to see what lead her there, but he knew there had to be more to it than just getting information.

"I didn't think things through. I was upset and distracted. And it wasn't until I was already in that situation that I realized what I'd gotten myself into." Her voice began to shake but he couldn't make himself reach out to her.

On some level, he still felt betrayed. That was the raw feeling in his gut. They had worked so hard to keep her safe and what had she done as soon as they were gone? She walked right into their hands. It was a fucking miracle they didn't know she was there.

She had done it for them to get information for them though. All because he had kept her waiting too long. If he had just called her that morning after the crash, she may never have felt the need to do this.

Sighing, Murphy rubbed a hand over his face. He was partly to blame for this, if he followed that line of thinking. He had been sick about making her wait when he thought she would be waiting by the phone. He never thought she would risk her life while they were gone just to possibly try to keep theirs safe.

"Murph, please say something."

He raised his eyes again and saw that she was watching him. Pressing his lips together, he leaned forward and put his hands on her knees again. He saw the worry in her eyes and wished he could just make it all go away. It wasn't that simple.

"Katie, they've been followin' ye for weeks. What made ye think ye'd do us any good goin' in?"

"I didn't go in as myself. I went in undercover. No one suspects a hooker."

"Aye, maybe." He nodded slowly and felt his stomach twist slightly. His voice grew quieter as he spoke. "But think about what would've happened if he'd raped ye, Katie. Maybe even killed ye. Think about that would have done ta ye. Or ta me." They were both silent for a moment and she reached out, taking his hands in her own. "No information is worth your life."

The thought of it was enough to make his close his eyes against the flood of emotions. They might never have found out what happened to her. She would simply have vanished from his life. Murphy swallowed hard against the lump that had started forming in his throat.

Her hands touched his shoulders and he opened his eyes to see her standing in front of him. She leaned forward to kiss him, her hair falling on the sides of their faces like a dark curtain. "I'm okay, Murphy."

He put his hands on her waist. "Yeah, but how long are ye goin' ta be okay if ye keep doin' this kind of stuff? I can't do this, Katie."

She stood up again, her hands leaving his shoulders. He looked up at her, watching her frown at him. "What the fuck do you think I've had to do, Murphy? I was going crazy with worry. With fear. How is that any different?"

"I only do what I have ta do. And Connor and Da are with me the whole time. Ye fuckin' went in alone, Katie. Alone. Ye're never supposed ta be alone." He had gotten louder somehow. Despite the fact that the anger was back, the sick feeling in his stomach was still there.

She stepped away from him, keeping her eyes on the floor. "I was alone when you left."

_And there it is. _ He stared at her, realizing that was the hidden piece. "Ye didn't have ta be. Ye had Sara, Smecker and Doc."

Keeping quiet, she moved to the fridge and pulled out a Pepsi. He watched her for a moment.

"Ye once mentioned the family we've got here. How ye didn't feel a part of it. But ye could be, Katie. They're all waitin' for ye ta let them in. Ye've got ta trust somebody here." Standing up, he stepped toward her and saw her pause in her movements.

"I do trust somebody. I trust you. And Connor." Her hands were working at the tab on the top of the can, bending it back and forth.

"What about Sara?"

She gave a hard laugh. "Sara looks at me like I've got three fucking heads every time I mention the fucking Mafia. She would have never agreed to let me do that."

"Fuck, and I would've?"

"Well, no, but…" She trailed off and Murphy stepped closer. He watched her carefully, looking for some clue, some sign to help him figure out what was really going on. To figure out what was really bothering her so much that she felt she had to do this. He hadn't realized that she felt that isolated. But he had understood the feeling; both he and Connor had experienced it themselves.

"But what?"

"You wouldn't have let me go, but you would have understood why I wanted to. Christ, Murph. I'm tired of just sitting here and doing nothing. You've got me wrapped in fucking bubble wrap here. Waiting and waiting. While you and Conn and Da are out there risking your asses, I'm sitting here fucking useless." She slammed the can down on the counter.

"Katie, yer not fuckin' useless. But this fuckin' situation doesn't exactly have a jobs listing. Fuck, we're tryin' ta get ourselves out of this. And you runnin' off as a fuckin' prostitute isn't helpin' any." He faced her but didn't reach out to touch her. She had to understand. He had to make her understand.

"I know."

"Jesus, Katie." He sighed and she finally looked up at him. "Maybe that's somethin' we both need ta work on. Realizin' we've got others who depend on us and who we can depend on. Ye should have talked ta someone. Instead of just fuckin' goin' off and doin' yer own thing."

Moving her eyes to stare over his left shoulder, she sighed.

"Yer a girl, Katie. Ye're supposed ta be good at this whole feelings thing."

She smiled slightly and he felt the pressure in his chest lighten. "Fuck off, Murphy."

He stepped forward and put his arms around her. She stood stiff for a moment, but he still waited, knowing she would give in. Her arms encircled his waist loosely and she leaned her head against his chest. Moving them slightly back and forth, he realized that just holding her helped more than anything. Just knowing that as long as he kept his arms around her, she would be safe.

"I half expected you and Sara ta have formed a fuckin' support group by now. A place ta talk about the grief we've been given ye." He whispered to her finally and felt her laugh.

"I'm not much of the support group type, Murphy." She shifted slightly, turning her head to look up at him. "Besides, Sara's been a bit off this whole time."

"Because of Connor?"

"Gee, how'd you guess?" He could tell she was smiling without looking at her.

"He mentioned somethin' about it."

"She's gonna kill me for telling him. Fuck and we've fought once already."

"Ye fought with her?" He glanced down at her and relaxed again when he saw she was still smiling.

"Yeah." She laughed. "A typical Sara and me fight. I pissed her off; she snapped back and left me behind. It was almost like being back in college."

"I'm confused. Ye enjoyed this?"

"Enjoyed, no. But with Sara it's not such a bad thing. If she's willing to show you her anger, she still likes you. It's when she shows no emotion around you that you know you're screwed."

"Good ta know. I'll pass that on ta me brother." He grinned down at her as she pulled away. She smiled back but stared up at him.

"How does your face feel?"

He felt her finger brush softly against the right side of his face. She pursed her lips as she followed it back down past his cheek bone. Reaching up, he covered her hand with his. "It's fine. I barely notice it's there."

"You should be on this end of it."

"That bad, huh?"

She shrugged. "Does it count that I can't take my eyes off of it?" He heard the teasing tone to her voice and just smiled. She met his gaze briefly before looking back at the bruise. "No, really. I think I've already developed a hate-hate relationship with it."

"But it is part o' me. Can ye really hate a part o' me?" He grinned as she rolled her eyes.

"Murphy," She sighed. "It's simply residing on you right now. It is not part of you."

"Ye do realize ye've just humanized a fuckin' bruise, right?"

Laughing, she finally looked him in the eye again. "And your point is?"

"Ye need a distraction.

"And where am I going to find that?"

He pressed his lips to hers and felt her smile against him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she leaned back. "Humm…that might just work."

She kissed him deeply and he found that he was losing himself in her again. It was so easy to do. He could never have too much of Katie. Slipping his hand underneath her shirt, he brushed his fingertips across her abdomen to reach her sides. She pressed herself closer to him with a sigh. With a smile, he kissed her softly and led her back to her bedroom.

* * *

Connor leaned against the bridge railing, staring off into the city. The afternoon had gotten warmer and he found that he wasn't quite ready to go back to the apartment yet. Here, on the bridge, he could be alone. He hadn't been alone for a while.

His thoughts were on Sara and the mixed response he had gotten in her office. Her vulnerable side had shown first. He hadn't missed that she put distance between them after they had kissed.

Knowing about Greg helped him quite a bit. He had bet anything that she would pulled away then because she felt something. Christ, he certainly had. One kiss from her had done more for him than sex with other woman had. And in that department, he knew they were compatible. He knew they were meant to be together.

But it was outside that he had his uncertainties. She kept her distance from him until she had acted without thinking. After that, as they had talked about normal everyday subjects, she had been the normal Sara. The Sara he had tripped on his heart over that first night.

God, he loved that she had a sense of humor about things. And that she was reasonable. As much as he loved Katie, he knew her type would drive him nuts. But Sara seemed much more down-to-earth, which is why he knew this emotional barrier thing had to be exhausting for her.

They would be fine once they got past it. That he was sure of, if they could get past it.

She had smiled at him as he left her office finally, shooing him out so that she could actually get some work done. He had been away from her for nearly a half hour now and he missed her already. How the hell had he made it in New York without her?

_Christ, I'm becomin' a fuckin' sap. Murph would love ta tease me about this._ He couldn't help but grin at that. Especially when he knew that Murphy had no room to talk. They had never shared that experience at the same time before. Not since they had started dating. Connor's heart lifted as he thought about that.

And tonight, they would all be together again at McGinty's. He and Da decided that on the way to the precinct. No matter what type of planning or discussing they had to do, it would wait until tomorrow. Tonight was their time to relax.

Connor glanced at his watch as he pushed off the bridge. Tonight he would have Sara around, again. And this time, he would get to keep her for longer than her fucking lunch break.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Polished, updated (7/12/06) and it would've been served fresh...but I got busy. :) The next chapter is being betaized (is that a word?) and then it'll be up!**

Katie stepped into the hot stream of the shower and sighed. She hadn't been this relaxed in days and Murphy was to credit for that on all parts. First, he came home alive so that she didn't have to keep tearing her hair out and then he had loved her.

She smiled widely and leaned her head against the tiled shower walls. The ceramic felt cool to her forehead and with the mixture of the sensations, she closed her eyes. A nap would be good right about now, but it was the middle of the fucking day and they had plans for McGinty's.

The cool air outside of the shower hit her as the curtain was pulled open. Murphy stepped into the shower behind her before she could react. Turning, she laughed at him through the steam.

"What are you doing, Murph?"

"Thought we could save time. Connor and Da could be here any fuckin' second."

His hand ran down her back as she slipped her arms around his neck. "And what part of us taking a shower together would be saving time?"

He kissed her softly, sweetly before giving into a chuckle. "Christ, Katie. Sometimes, a shower really is just a fuckin' shower."

"Uh, huh." Grinning, she stepped back slightly, blocking most of the stream from hitting him.

Working the shampoo into her hair, she saw him trying to hold back a smile as he watched her. She just shook her head at him and they both smiled.

"I think this should become a regular fuckin' mornin' ritual." He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the tile.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

Stepping forward, his eyes fell again on the cross that hung between her breasts. She had noticed he had kept looking at it all morning, despite the fact that only the chain had been visible underneath her clothing. His fingers brushed the stream of water than was flowing down her body as he lifted the necklace up.

"Did ye wear it last night?"

His questions surprised her and she didn't know which answer he was looking for. She finished rinsing the shampoo out of her hair and shook her head slowly.

"I couldn't."

"No, I suppose it wouldn't go with the fuckin' outfit." His voice was weary, not angry like she expected.

"Murph, I…I couldn't take a part of you there with me. Not with what I was doing." She had toyed with the idea for a good few minutes despite the nervous energy with her that night. It would have been disrespectful to wear his communion cross.

He raised it to his lips, kissing it before letting it settle back against her breastbone. His hands framed her face as he kissed her, his fingers tangling in her wet hair. "Please, don't take it off again, no matter what ye're plannin' on doin'. It can't work if yer not wearin' it."

"Okay." She stared up at him for a moment. His eyes were on her upper arms and she was still slightly surprised to see the pain in his face as his fingers rubbed over them.

Running her fingers along his stubble of his chin, she kissed him softly. "I'll cover mine and we'll find a way to cover yours. Then we can have a night without being reminded of everything that's going on."

"Cover mine? Shall I wear a fuckin' bag over me head?" He gave her a half smile.

"That can be our backup plan." She grinned as she pushed him back into the stream of water, switching their positions. "But first, we need to finish showering."

* * *

Sara moved past Mags front desk quickly, hoping to just get to her office without answering anything else. The girl was new and still showing it by her ignorance of everything. 

"Sara."

Stopping, she sighed and knew she couldn't just keep walking. _So much for escaping._ She turned slowly and raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Mags?"

"There's a strange man in your office. I tried to keep him out here but he insisted on waiting for you in there."

Nodding slowly, Sara felt herself grin. Could Connor be back already? Her heart beat a little faster as she wandered back to her office. If it was Connor, she was going to need Mags to define her version of 'strange'. Though, Sara realized, maybe others might see Connor McManus as a strange man.

She pondered this with another smile as she rounded the corner. Seeing the back of a dark, curly head, she tried not to be disappointed. It wasn't Connor, but she had a good idea who it was.

Stepping into her office, she glanced briefly at the man and smiled slightly before sitting behind her desk. "So, what brings your ugly ass to my office, Davis?"

"And I was going to tell you how beautiful you look today." Her old colleague smiled back at her and she noticed that he was still as sweet and innocent looking as he had been when she first met him.

"Don't butter me up. What do you want?"

"I can't visit an old friend?" He pouted slightly and she just rolled her eyes. If it were anyone else, he would be out of her office by now…

"Davis." She warned softly, her eyes glancing behind him to make sure no one was around. "You've got a file in your briefcase for me, don't you?"

"Well, now that you mention it, I have something that might just be perfect for you. A distraction while you're living here in Boston."

Sara shook her head. "No. First off, I don't need a fucking distraction. And secondly, I'm not working for you anymore. Just like I wasn't the last six times you contacted me. I'm done with this investigative bullshit."

"But this is an important project. I need someone I can trust on it."

"Fuck, Davis. I worked for you for a whole six months. And that's only because I was still trusting and fresh from college. What makes you think I'm trustworthy now?"

"But it was such a fun six months." His voice took on a singsong quality and she couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, until your fucking detective work nearly got me killed. Besides, I no longer have any reasons to want to do this." She picked up a pen and pulled out her daily planner. "So go, I've got work to do."

"Does this mean you found her?" Davis leaned forward, giving her a genuine smile. And Sara knew this is why she had stayed working with him as long as she did. She had known she wasn't cut out for his type of 'investigating' after the first month.

"Yes. I found Katie."

"And gimme some details here, Sara. This has got to be a good story."

She laughed. "We just kind of ran into each other, really. We have some friends in common."

"She still involved with…?" He raised both of his eyebrows at her. Sara shrugged.

"I don't really know anymore. If you'd asked me earlier today, I would have said that she wasn't really. But, fuck, with Katie, I don't know."

"But you found her, Sara. That's the important part." He reached into his briefcase and pulled out a manila folder.

"Davis. No." She gave him a long look and saw a flicker of something in his eyes. Hopelessness? Fear?

He kept his eyes on the top of her desk for a moment and then held the folder out to her. "Please. Just look it over and then decide. I know you want to be out of this, but I wouldn't ask unless it was important."

"What's going on?"

"A bit of pressure from the information buyer."

"Pressure?" She set the folder down and leaned forward, watching him closely. "What kind of pressure?"

She saw something else flicker across his face before he gave her his crooked grin. "Nothing I can't handle, babe."

Nodding slowly, she reached across and patted his hand. "Try actually keeping in touch this time, Davis. Instead of just keeping track of me."

He smiled slowly, and this time she saw it reach his eyes. "I will, Sara. You take care now." Getting to his feet, he picked up his suitcase and walked to the door. It was only as he was there that he glanced back. "Oh, and you really look even more beautiful now. Whoever he is, hold on to him."

Sara gave him a half smile as she watched him leave. Was it that noticeable? Shrugging, she sighed. Davis could read her better than most. Fuck, he could read anyone better than most, and that is why he was good at his job.

Tracing the outside of the sealed folder, she knew she couldn't take this job. Part of her wanted to, just to help him. Outside of Katie's brother Peter, Davis had been the first man she let anywhere near her. He had worked his way into her life with ease and mostly under her radar, becoming a close friend in a rather short period of time. And she'd missed him, even though she'd never missed the work.

Sighing again, she slipped the folder into her bag without opening it. She'd put it in her desk at home. Whatever was in there probably shouldn't be in her office. Fighting the curiosity to open the folder, Sara forced herself to concentrate back on her work.

* * *

"Hold the fuck still, Murphy." Katie's voice reached all the way out the hallway as Connor reached the apartment. He paused for a minute and heard muffled laughter. Sighing, he eased the door open, hoping he wasn't interrupting anything. 

Katie stood with her back to him and after a second, Connor realized that Murphy was sitting in a chair in front of her, his legs sticking out on either side of her. Muffling a chuckle at the odd image, Connor shut the door and tiptoed further in.

He knew his brother knew he was there. Murphy could and had always been able to tell, but Katie was another story. Reaching up as he approached her, he dropped his hands on her shoulders. She jumped and shrieked, nearly tripping over Murphy's extended knee.

Both brothers reached out to keep her from falling and she smacked their hands away before turning to glare up at Connor. "What the fuck was that?"

"Hi." He grinning and moved away as she swung her hand at him again. Meeting Murphy's gaze, they both just kept laughing.

Katie looked back at Murphy in surprise and smacked him on the shoulder. "You knew he was fucking there, didn't you?"

She only got more laughter in response as he put his hands on either side of her waist. Connor watched as she just glared down at him.

"You're lucky I didn't hit you in the fucking face, Murph. I'm doing delicate work here."

As she shifted her hands, Connor saw the round hinged compact in her hands. Crossing his arms over his chest with a confused grin, he looked at them. "What the fuck are ye doin', Katie?"

She dabbed a white sponge on the makeup and began to apply it to the right side of Murphy's face. "I'm covering his bruise. He'll have to answer fewer questions that way."

"Murph, ye agreed ta wear makeup?"

"Shut it, Connor." He glared up at him, but Connor was hardly intimidated.

"Christ, I didn't know I had a fuckin' sister as a twin. Ye must be fuckin' Murphette."

Katie laughed softly, but kept her eyes on her work. Murphy just took a drink of his beer and gave Connor another look.

Watching her use the sponge to rub more of it on, Connor found himself intrigued. It was working. While the cuts were still visible, the bruise was disappearing as she spread the makeup on. Stepping forward, he leaned closer to look.

She waved a hand at him. "Connor, you're in my light."

Grinning, he moved behind Murphy and watched from the other side. "I'm impressed. Where'd ye learn how ta do this, Katie?"

"One of my few hidden talents."

"Is it fuckin' workin'?" Murphy glanced up at Connor, who nodded without moving his eyes off of where her hands worked.

"Fairly well."

"Good. It'd better be fuckin' worth it if I'm wearin' it."

Katie laughed and finally looked up, winking at Connor. "We'll find you a sister here, yet. A little eyeshadow, some mascara. Murph might make a pretty girl."

"Ye try it and I'll fuckin'…" Murphy muttered but she just kept laughing. Katie stepped closer and stared down at him, pushing her fingers lightly into his chest.

"You'll fuckin' what?"

He finally just gave in and grinned. "Just don't fuckin' do it, alright?"

"So, where are ye goin' that ye need to cover this up, Murph?"

"McGinty's. Ye joinin' us?"

Connor sighed and shook his head. "I already have plans."

They both raised their eyes to his, surprised.

"Plans?" Katie asked. "Sara?"

Nodding, Connor shrugged. "Aye."

"And where ye goin' then?"

He grinned at Murphy. "A little place I know called McGinty's."

Katie just laughed. "I've heard of it. I thought only losers and Irishmen went there."

Connor opened his mouth to respond but the door opened behind them.

Da walked in with Smecker trailing after him. Connor saw Katie slid the compact into her pocket and couldn't help but smile. He knew she was trying to save Murphy some further grief about the makeup.

Smecker nodded at all of them and moved to Katie with a frown. "So, you have a fun fucking night last night?" His voice was low and Connor could hear the disappointment in it.

Katie sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Christ, get it fucking over with."

"We need to talk." Was his only answer and he nodded toward the hallway. She followed him silently and the door shut quietly behind them.

Sighing, Connor glanced over at Da. "How's yer back?"

"Fine. Did ye talk ta her, Murph?"

"Aye, I took care o' it." Murphy's eyes were on the door but Connor noticed that he didn't get up to stop Smecker. "She got the fuckin' idea from him, didn't she?"

Da forced out a half laugh as he pulled a beer from the fridge. "Fuck, ye should've seen his face when I mentioned what the lass did."

"He doesn't know we know, does he?" Connor crossed his arms over his chest and saw Da shake his head.

"Well, at least not ye two. I fuckin' saw 'im. So he knows I know." He looked at both of the brothers briefly before glancing back at the door. "Ye both ready ta go?"

"Yea." Connor said and Murphy nodded.

"Good. Then we can leave once Katie's been sufficiently fuckin' yelled at." He winked at Connor who just shook his head with a smile. He had a feeling that Katie had already long since gotten the point. Who was he to stop them? Especially since he hadn't really had his turn yet.

* * *

Katie leaned against the wall in the hallway and looked up at a silent Smecker. He paced slightly before turning towards her. 

"Katie, what the fuck were you thinking? I tell you that I've lost one informant and you decide to become the next?" Smecker leaned close to her and shook his head. "You getting yourself killed isn't going to help them."

"I realize that now. And I should have come to you." She kept her voice soft, feeling guilty as she watched him struggle with his anger. "They don't know where I got the idea, Paul. And I'm not going to tell them."

"I don't frickin' care about that, Katie. I know you've got a brain in there, but what I want to know is why you didn't fucking use it."

"It felt like the right thing to do at the time."

He stared at her for a moment before sighing heavily. "Sometimes, you've got to weigh the risk with the possible gain. And you gained nothing by going."

"I found Peter."

Nodding, he looked at her again. "I know. And I'm glad you did, but that wasn't what you went in for. That was an added benefit."

"He's working as an informant, Smecker. He's got a contact in New York he's feeding information to. Maybe he can help us, too."

Smecker pursed his lips slightly and shook his head. "Does he know about the Saints?"

"Yeah, he figured it out by talking to me."

"And how does he feel about you being with them?"

"Doesn't want me near them." She smiled slightly as he waved his hands.

"Exactly. That doesn't usually make a great informant. Emotional involvement is never good."

"You're emotionally involved." She said it without thinking and he paused in his movements.

"And that makes my job twice as hard, Katie. Which is why you are going to promise you'll not try anything else."

"Paul…"She sighed but he raised his eyes to hers again.

"I mean it, Katie."

"Fine. I promise to not try anything without talking to you first."

He held his hand out to her. "Deal." His handshake was gentle and she smiled at him.

"Thanks, Paul."

"For what?"

"For caring enough to yell at me." She grinned as he smirked slightly. Putting his arm around her, he hugged her quickly.

"I'm glad you're alright. Now don't fucking do it again."

"Yes, sir." She nodded at the apartment door. "Now let's go in so they can see we're both still alive."

Smecker waved his hand for her to lead the way. All three McManus men turned their heads toward them as they walked in the door. Katie found herself smiling as she shook her head.

She walked over to Da who was leaning against the counter with a nearly empty beer. "Your turn."

His eyes wandered over her for a moment before he just smiled at her. "I'll pass fer now. But I get first dibs next time." He teased her.

"There isn't gonna be a fuckin' next time, right Katie?" Murphy's voice floated over and she exchanged a grin with Da. She saw Murphy stand up and move to where she stood, an eyebrow raised. "Right, Katie?"

"Right, Murphette." She grinned as he narrowed his eyes at her. After a pause, he put his arm around her with a smile.

"Watch it, Minnie." He chuckled as she glared up at him.

"Let's get goin'." Da set his beer down on the counter and led the way out of the apartment. They all followed out and Katie locked the door quickly. She glanced at the group of men around her and grinned. They walked out as a group, leaving the tension behind.

* * *

Sara grabbed a few remaining things off of her desk and hustled out of the office. She felt a little giddy, knowing she would get to hang out with Connor and everyone else tonight. _The gang._ She thought with a grin. _I've got me a fucking gang._

The drive home was slow and she ran up to her apartment as soon as she pulled in. Pulling off her work clothes, she quickly changed into a bar of jeans and a nice t-shirt. She used to dress in a hoochie bar shirt each time she went out, but McGinty's was definitely more of a t-shirt type of place.

As she slipped her shoes on, her eye caught on the manila folder sticking out of the top of her bag. In the rush of the afternoon, she had forgotten about it. The image of Davis' face floated in front of her and she pulled it out of the bag.

He had asked her to at least look at it. Fuck, and she knew he thought simply looking at it would pull her into the project. Sighing, she shook her head. His projects had no room in her life anymore. She had walked away that last time after the report she handed in put her and an entire family in danger. That wasn't her type of reporting.

When she had first started working for him, he introduced their 'projects' as independent investigations that were paid for by outside parties. Freelance research and writing. A great way to get into the investigative journalism world. He swore that most of the time those outside parties were magazines and newspapers across the east coast.

But things had started changing after Davis had taken one lucrative research project from a member of the Fertitta family. It was just for the money, he had told her. Just a one time deal that turned into regular fucking business. Now, two years later, she had a feeling he was sucked in too far.

She stared at the folder silently before sliding her finger underneath the seal and breaking it. _Let's see what Davis thought was so important._ Pulling the small stack of papers out, she set them in front of her before glancing down.

Her eyes caught the word _Saints_ and her heart skipped a beat. She skimmed her eyes down the page and raised a shaking hand to her mouth. Davis wanted her to find the Saints. To research the Saints. To give the fucking mafia information on the Saints.

Swallowing hard, she moved the top page aside and stared at the blurred photo underneath. It was from the courthouse for the Yakavetta trial. Somehow, someone had gotten a picture of them. She stared at Connor's scowling face in the picture and felt a lump grow in her throat.

_What the fuck am I going to do?_ If Davis had willing left the file with her, it meant he had a copy of it somewhere. She could refuse it and the project would still find its way into willing hands somewhere.

Sara sighed heavily and leaned her face into her hands. She knew there was only one thing to do. She had to take the fucking project. She had given misinformation to save a life once before. _I just hope it works as well this time.

* * *

_

McGinty's was busier than usual as they arrived and Katie realized that word had spread that the McManuses where back in town. Although few people knew why they had left and even fewer knew where they had gone, their absence around the pub had been noticed. A slight cheer went up as they came in and Katie found herself grinning. God, she loved the Irish.

She found her way to their booth, which had somehow managed to have been kept empty for them and sat down to watch the three men make their rounds. More than once she saw either Connor or Murphy laughingly slap someone on the back of the head. Louder laugher usually followed such a movement.

"It's like fuckin' St. Patty's again." A voice came from the end of the booth and Katie sighed when she saw Tommy leaning against the side she was on.

"What?"

"Well, since their St. Patty's was cut short this year by what happened. The fuckin' prodigal sons have returned and it's a grand fuckin' day." There was a trace of bitterness in his voice but he kept grinning at her. "But I'm glad ta see that they're back safely. I honestly didn't know if they'd make it."

"Shut it, Tommy." She glared at him, but he just smiled again.

"Face it, Katie. If they continue as they are, it's only a matter of time. You and I both know that."

"Fuck off. You don't even know what you're talking about."

Her heart raced as he just stood there and kept smiling at her as if they were discussing the goddamn weather. She clenched her fists and slid out of the booth to stand before him, anger coursing through her veins. She could punch him now, she would enjoy it, too.

"Open your damn eyes, Katie. It's gonna happen whether you want it to or not. That's all I'm tryin' to say." He leaned forward, invading her personal space with a single move.

She shoved him away and he stepped back forward, no longer smiling. An arm separated them before she could do anything else. Her eyes found Da staring down at them, disapproval on his face. "What's goin' on here, lass?"

"Nothing." She sighed and turned away from Tommy. The anger was still there, but she knew fighting him in the middle of a pub was hardly the answer. Especially since she had never actually hit someone before. _Christ, I just nearly got in a fuckin' pub brawl._

Keeping her eyes on the table, she slid back into the booth and worked at calming herself down. _He's not worth it. He's a jackass. He was just trying to piss you off._ But his words still affected her. She closed her eyes and rested her face in her hands, using the weight of her head to keep her hands from shaking. It wasn't working. She wasn't calming down. Her thoughts spun faster through her head and she dropped her hands to the table with a sigh.

She felt herself being watched but didn't look around her as she opened her eyes. Getting out of the booth, she pushed through the crowd and stepped into the girl's bathroom, locking the door behind her. After a few calming breaths, she pulled her phone out of her pocket. Murphy was right. She needed someone who would understand.

Sniffing, she pressed Sara's number on speed dial.

"Hello?" Her voice came through the phone loudly, echoing slightly.

"Sara, it's me."

"Hey, what's going on?"

"We're at McGinty's. You should join us as soon as you get done at work."

Sara laughed softly. "Katie, it's nearly six now. I'm off of work."

"Oh, well then why aren't you here? I know Connor told you about it."

"Yeah, but there were a few things I wanted to finish up first."

"So you are still working." Katie laughed as Sara sighed loudly.

"Uh, I suppose you could call it that. What's wrong with you anyhow? You sound upset."

She noticed the quick change of the subject but didn't say anything. She would figure out what was going on later. Shaking her head slightly, she smiled. "Nothing that can't wait, really. It's just not the same without you here. Please come join us as soon as you get done."

"Okay, okay. Man, you're as bad as Connor is."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Katie said, smiling. Sara laughed again.

"I'm not sure I meant it as one, but whatever. I'll see you in a bit."

"See you. Bye." Katie hung up the phone and slipped it back in her pocket with a smile. The tightness returned to her chest as she heard knocking behind her. She could barely hear Murphy say her name through the heavy door.

Squeezing her eyes shut for a second, she took a deep breath. She reached out and unlocked the door. He stepped in right away and locked it again behind him before turning to her with a concerned look.

"What's goin' on?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." She tried to smile but saw he wasn't buying it.

"Ye just fuckin' locked yerself in the bathroom. That doesn't say fine ta me." He stepped closer, studying her face carefully. "Da said ye got into it with Tommy. What about?"

"He was just trying to get a rise out of me."

"And that's why ye nearly socked him?" He smiled slightly as she raised an eyebrow at him. "I have fuckin' witnesses."

"I wouldn't have hit him more than once."

"Aye, and what would ye have done if he'd hit ye back?"

She grinned then. "I'm in a pub full of Irish men. He wouldn't have dared."

"Damn right, he wouldn't have." He leaned down and kissed her lightly, keeping his hand on her cheek as he continued to look down at her. "So what'd he say ta ye?"

"Murph." She sighed but he shook his head at her.

"Tell me. What'd he say that upset ye this much?"

"I'm fine." She put her arms around him and leaned her face into his shoulder. He held her tightly and she felt him tense up as she remained silent.

"Why won't ye just tell me, Katie?"

"Because I don't want another fight this evening." Her voice was muffled but she knew he could hear her. She meant that she didn't want to fight with him but she realized as he stiffened that he took it another way.

"What'd he say about ye?"

"What?" She moved her head to look up at him.

"I need ta know what he said about ye ta know how much I need ta kick his ass."

Closing her eyes, she shook her head and laughed. "He didn't say a word about me. So nobody's ass is going to be kicked tonight."

He frowned down at her then, pulling back slightly to look at her. "Who did he say it about then?"

She sighed. _Damned if you do anyhow. _"He said it about you three. That he was surprised you made it home. And that you wouldn't make it much longer if you continued as you've been going." She opened her eyes then and saw that he was watching her carefully.

"Do ye agree with him, Katie?" He got to the point much quicker than she thought he would. _Christ, Murph. You're getting better at this._

She shook her head slowly, forming her words with care. "I couldn't be here with you if I did. I couldn't live with that certainty of losing you."

He kissed her then, slowly and deeply, his hands pulling her close to him. She felt the lump in her throat grow. Pulling back, she pressed her face into his shoulder. He brushed his hand down the length of her hair before resting it at the small of her back.

"Ye want me ta go beat him up for ye?" His question made her laugh.

"You'd actually do that for me, wouldn't you?"

"With pleasure."

"Well, hold off for now, but I'll kept that mind." She grinned as she felt him laugh. With one final kiss, he turned and led them out of the bathroom.

As they neared the booth, Katie just smiled as she saw the yellow drink at her spot across from where Connor was sitting. Sliding into the booth, she grinned at him. He raised his eyes to her and finally smiled back after looking at her for a moment.

"Thanks for the screwdriver."

"My round ta buy. Thought ye'd want one."

"So you can be trained." She laughed as he raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh, and I talked to Sara. She said she'd be here as soon as she finished up whatever she's working on."

He nodded and shook his head. "Christ, Katie. What is it? Because ye couldn't take a girl ta the bathroom with ye, ye had ta call one from the there instead?"

She gave him a look before breaking down and grinning. "Something like that."

* * *

By seven o'clock, McGinty's was packed and Sara still hadn't arrived. Katie half listened to Murphy tease Connor about something as she let her eyes wander. As usual, even by this early hour, there were several drunken sights to see. Loud laughter flowed over from up by the bar and she grinned as she watched both Da and Doc shaking with laughter. 

Da had found a friend. Well, actually two, she realized as Smecker slid back onto the stool next to Da. He said something with a grin and Doc waved his rag at him, laughing. She wasn't sure if the brothers already knew it or if they were simply just blind to their father's life outside of them, but she got a warm feeling as she watched the two older men and Smecker go back and forth with what could only be jokes by the way they were punctuated by laughter. One of her worries had been Da's loneliness. She knew that simply having the boys back wasn't enough to fill his life. She hoped that he had been finding something else to fulfill him.

"Katie." A low voice beside her called her name and she brought her attention back to the booth. Murphy was grinning at her. "Christ, yer not fuckin' drunk already, are ye?"

She gave him a look. "Murph, I'm not that much of a fucking lightweight."

"Then let's get ye another drink." He glanced at Connor who held up his beer slightly and nodded. Murphy got out of the booth and walked to the bar.

Glancing at Connor, she kept an eye on Murphy. "Is he going to be able to carry three drinks?"

"As long as he doesn't lift them above his shoulders, I think he'll be fine." His response was teasing and she turned to grin at him.

"Forgive me if I'm not up-to-date on the restrictions of your injuries."

"Christ, woman. What have ye been doin' in yer free time, then?"

"Ha!" She raised an eyebrow at him. "As if I have free time between worrying about you two and worrying about myself."

"And don't forget, working as a fuckin' hooker too." He pressed his lips together to keep from smiling as she glared at him.

"I'm not going to live that down for awhile, am I?"

"Nope." He drained the last of his beer as Murphy arrived back at the booth with their drinks. He slid Katie's to her with a laugh.

"Drink up."

"Fuck, Murph. Are you trying to get me drunk?"

"How else am I gonna make sure I have a fuckin' chance with ye tonight?" He laughed and moved away slightly as she looked at him in shock.

"Jesus, Murphy." She managed to get out and heard laughter from the other side of the booth. Turning to look at Connor, he unsuccessfully hid his grin behind his hand. She shook her head in disbelief. "Christ, Connor. What don't you know about me now?"

They both just laughed harder and she felt herself start to turn red.

"Fuck, what did you two do? Have a gossip session in New York? Swap fuckin' sex stories?" She took a long drink of her screwdriver before setting it down with a thump. Connor reached over and patted her hand.

"Relax, Katie. We didn't exactly discuss details or anything." He moved his eyes to Murphy. "Yet." He flinched and glared at his brother. "Fuck, Murphy. That was my fuckin' shin ye just kicked."

"I know." Murphy muttered and nudged Katie. "I didn't broadcast anything, Katie. I swear."

"So nobody else in McGinty's knows anything about me I'd rather they didn't?"

"Just fuckin' Connor. Nobody else."

She grinned then. "Well, nobody else until Sara gets here." She let out a laugh as both Murphy and Connor raised they eyes to her.

"Fuckin' hypocrite Katie here."

"There's a difference. I didn't use it to embarrass you."

"It's fuckin' Connor. Why are ye embarrassed in front of him?" Murphy raised an eyebrow at her. She glanced at him and then moved her eyes to where Connor leaned against the back the booth, watching them. He gave her an oversize grin and crossed his eyes at her.

Katie burst into laughter and managed to get the words out. "You're right. It's just fuckin' Connor."

"Can you two stop referring ta me as fuckin' Connor? It's getting a bit annoyin'."

She just smiled again. "So, what was this about this being the second time you've dislocated your shoulder?"

Murphy chuckled softly to her left. "Yeah, Conn. Tell her about the first time."

"The first time was all fuckin' Murphy's fault anyhow."

"How was it my fault?"

"Ye wore out the fuckin' rope by goin' first."

"Wait, wait." Katie held up her hand with a laugh. "Stop acting like I can read your minds. Start at the beginning here."

"Okay, when we were little, we used ta play Tarzan in Uncle Sibeal's hay loft." Murphy started, turning slightly toward her. Connor nodded.

"There was a rope that ye could reach from the loft and it led down into this open space where the stalls were."

"Well, the rope had been there fer years. We probably shouldn't have even been playin' on it at all." Murphy took a sip of his beer.

"But, well, ye know us, Katie. We couldn't stay away from it." Grinning at her, Connor followed with a larger drink of his beer. "And one day the summer we turned ten, well…"

"The rope finally gave way."

"Because Murph went first." Connor leaned back and laughed again as Murphy glared at him.

"I'm surprised that it didn't break for him then." Katie's comment broke their staring contest and they both raised an eyebrow at her. She laughed. "Well…it makes sense. Murphy's heavier than you are."

"Yeah, yeah. I know." Muttering, Connor finally grinned at her.

"It's only fair, boys. Connor, you got to be taller but you also got to be the lightweight of the family."

"I thought ye were supposed ta be on my side, Katie." Connor shook his head. "Remember, yer me partner."

"Is there somethin' I should know here?" Murphy laughed softly and raised an eyebrow at her again. She grinned.

"Yes, Murph. I love your brother very much and we're moving to the south eastern tip of France to raise goats."

"Yeah, ye seem like a goat person." Murphy nodded in agreement, grinning as she smacked him in the shoulder. Katie opened her mouth to respond but stopped as her eyes caught on a familiar blond man up at the bar. She gasped quietly, ignoring the looks that both Murphy and Connor were giving her.

Pushing on Murphy's arm lightly, she glanced at him. "Let me out. Let me out."

"Katie?" He stood up and held his hand out to help her out but she slid past him without paying attention to it. Her brother was here. He had found McGinty's. He had found her again.

Grinning, she moved up to the bar and leaned against it beside him. "Looking for someone, stranger?"

He turned and looked at her in surprise, smiling broadly. Katie threw her arms around him and he hugged her back without a word.

* * *

Murphy watched in confusion as she parted the crowd with ease and went straight up to the blond man. Connor leaned forward. "Is that who I think it is?" 

"I don't know." He muttered back and watched as the two hugged tightly. They held onto each other for a moment and the man kept his arm around her even as the turned back to the bar. Murphy smiled slightly at Connor. "I hope so."

"Look at him, Murph. It is. Ye can seem the resemblance from here." Connor grinned as he watched the two.

Murphy nodded and relaxed slightly against the booth, keeping his eyes on them. While a large part of him felt better that she had found her brother, he was still unsure of him. Her brother worked for the Mafia, even if he was undercover. He had gotten the impression from Katie that her brother wasn't too happy about her being associated with the Saints. She hadn't said it right out, but he could read it in what she didn't say.

He had wanted to meet him since she had first mentioned him. This man was a connection to her past, to her family. But even after finding him, Katie hadn't said anything about wanting the two of them to meet. In fact, she had avoided that topic and that's what bothered Murphy the most. Finishing his beer, he stood up and glanced at Connor.

"I'm gettin' another. Want one?"

"Murph, leave 'em alone fer now."

Murphy shook his head. "I want ta meet him." With that he left the booth and Connor behind and worked his way up to the bar. Setting the beer down, he nodded at Doc for another one for both him and Connor. It was only once he got them that he wandered slowly over to where Katie and her brother stood.

Pausing slightly just behind him, his mind raced as he tried to figure out what to say. _Hope she won't get fuckin' mad at me._ Smiling, he stepped up beside Katie. "So, is this Peter?"

They both looked over at him surprised and Katie nodded. "Peter, this is Murphy. Murphy, this is my baby brother Peter."

Peter noticeably winced at the term 'baby'. "I'm her _younger_ brother."

Murphy felt himself being analyzed and was surprised to find that he couldn't read anything off of the brother's face. They stared at each other for a moment.

"So you're Murphy."

"Aye, that I am." He switched both beers to one hand and held out his right hand. "Nice ta meet ye." Peter's hand closed over his and Murphy forced himself not the wince as pain shot through his ribs at the rough handshake. He didn't think it would be wise to show any weakness around this guy yet.

"I think we need to talk, Murphy." Peter let his hand go and took a drink of his own beer.

"Ye might be right." He nodded and glanced at Katie, who was watching them both with increasing frustration.

"Will it be the fucking swords or pistols at ten paces?" She glared at them and crossed her arms over her chest. Peter looked over at her briefly before turning his attention back to Murphy.

"Watch your language, Katie."

Murphy fought a smile as he saw her bristle out of the corner of his eye.

"Peter, don't even start with me. What part of 'younger brother' do you not understand? You have no control over me."

"Yeah, I'm less than twelve months younger. And I'm the man of the family."

"Oh, the big man of the family. Shall I get you a fucking crown?"

He looked at her for a moment and pressed his lips together. "Katie, go sit back down. Murphy here and I need to have a discussion."

"Jesus, Peter…"

"Katie, go. Now."

Murphy saw her turn to him for help but he just shook his head. He wanted to kiss the pout off of her face but knew this was hardly the time. They had lay everything out much easier if she wasn't there to keep interrupting them. "Just go, Katie. Take this beer ta Connor for me."

She yanked the beer out of his hands without looking at him and walked away quickly. Murphy waited until she was past him before he grinned. Peter raised an eyebrow at him.

Murphy just laughed. "She always been that way?"

"Yeah, you might say that." Peter reached behind him for his drink and took a swallow. Murphy waited, deciding it would be best just to let her brother set the course of the conversation.

"I know who you are."

"Yeah, I kinda got that impression." Murphy moved to lean against the bar, hoping that would keep his ribs from being jostled anymore by moving crowds. "What do ye plan ta do about it?"

"I haven't decided yet." Peter kept his eyes on Murphy's face again, studying him. He then glanced past him, toward the booth and Murphy turned to see what he was looking at. He couldn't help but smile as he saw that Connor was teasing her again. Katie's laugh rang out and his heart felt lighter. Movement in front of him made him realize that Peter had turned back to him. "She seems happier than I thought she was."

"I'm tryin'. Actually, we both are." Murphy kept his fingers busy by peeling at the label on the bottle. Now wasn't the time to start chewing on his thumb.

"Who is he?" Peter glanced at the booth again.

"Oh, that's me brother, Connor."

"Older or younger?"

"Well…" Murphy laughed. He'd just give him the easy explanation. "We're twins actually. Just not identical."

"She seems to like him."

Sighing, Murphy just smiled. "Yeah, sometimes I think they get along better than her and I do. She says he reminds her of Brett."

Peter turned his gaze back to Murphy and frowned. "Must be the old fucking Brett then. Although Katie always did put him on a pedestal."

"Why is that?"

Shrugging, Peter took a drink. "No idea. But she somehow managed to blind herself to his changes."

"How did he change?"

"He went bad." Peter stared down at his beer for a second before raising his eyes to Murphy. "I don't know how else to explain it. He got deep, too deep with the Mafia. Started thinking only of himself, forgetting his duties at home. Fortunately, Katie and I were old enough to take care of ourselves by that point."

"And take care of each other." Murphy added and Peter nodded.

"I don't want to know how much of a monster he would have become if he hadn't died that way."

"How did he die?"

Peter glanced at him again, surprised. "I don't want Katie to know yet. But he died because he raised his gun to an armed police officer."

"Wow." Sighing, Murphy glanced over to the booth. "It might help her ta know that though. She might not fuckin' canonize yer brother if she knows the truth."

"She was just so mad after he died. So angry at the world." His voice got softer and Murphy had to lean closer to hear. "I didn't think she could take the truth. She's always been more sensitive about those things."

Nodding, Murphy kept silent, not knowing what to say in response. Peter kept his eyes on his bottle and sighed.

"That's why I nearly lost it when I saw her last night. I thought she'd fucking became Brett all over again."

"I'm glad you found her though." Murphy felt Peter watching him and they exchanged an understanding look. It was something they could agree on. Something they could build on. Their love for Katie.

"I am too. I just wish I could have grounded her." Peter smiled slightly and Murphy gave a half laugh.

"Trust me, I understand. I nearly fuckin' had it out with her myself over this."

"What'd you do?" Peter's question sounded casual, but as Murphy glanced up at him, he realized this was a sort of a test. How he handled the situation with Katie would give Peter an idea of just how Murphy treated her.

"I wanted ta yell and scream, but I didn't. It wouldn't have done any good."

Peter nodded. "Another thing to thank our brother for. He used to yell at the both of us like crazy. I yelled back, but Katie just stopped listening." He took another drink. "So what did you do?"

"After a few false starts, I made her listen ta me. Christ, I won't hide the fact that it fuckin' scared me. Still does. And it was stupid on her part. Fuckin' idiotic. She went in alone. And while we were out of town, too. If you hadn't been there…" Murphy stopped and after a brief pause, took a long drink of his beer, draining it.

"Yeah, I know. I might need to still make that clear to her myself. Make sure she gets the point." Peter's eyes wandered over to the booth again, but Murphy shook his head.

"I'm not sure ye need ta do that. That's another reason why I didn't yell. She's been beatin' herself up about it enough. I think she understands what could've happened."

Peter finished his beer and set it on the bar. He nodded toward the front door of the bar. "Let's go outside. The noise in here is driving me nuts."

Nodding, Murphy set his empty bottle down beside Peter's and followed him out the door. They were barely outside when Peter laughed quietly.

"What?"

"I imagine Katie's ready to run out here to save you."

Murphy tensed as he stared up at Peter, unsure of what he meant. "Why?"

"Last time I took a guy of hers outside, it wasn't to talk to him."

"Oh really?" Murphy kept an eye on Peter as he dug in his pocket for his cigarettes. He lit one as Peter nodded.

"Yeah, her senior year of high school some guy started fucking with her early in the year. Leaving notes in her locker and that kind of shit. This guy was known among the boys as a player. Use 'em and dump 'em type. So when I saw him hitting on her at our Halloween party, I got a little angry. He was trying to get all over her and Katie being Katie wasn't taking him seriously." Peter grinned. "So I took him outside and made it clear to him."

"Christ, how long did she scream at ye for that one?" Murphy laughed as Peter rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, what I didn't realize is that Katie had already been warned and was playing her own little fucking game with the guy. She wasn't happy when I ruined her plans to embarrass him. I was kind of disappointed myself when I found out what she was wanting to do."

"Which was?"

"Leading him on and then turning him down in a very public display."

"So basically, she's not that bad at takin' care of herself." Murphy smiled as Peter shrugged.

"Doesn't mean I'm going to let her do it herself."

Murphy choked on his laughter. "I think I told her the same thing once myself."

"But that does lead me to why we're really out here." Peter crossed his arms and looked Murphy in the eye. "I hate to be predictable but, just what are your intentions with my sister?"

Taking a drag on his cigarette, Murphy considered the question. How much could he let Peter know? Sighing, he raised his thumb to his mouth and chewed on the side of it. "I love her, Peter. And I intend ta stay with her as long as she'll let me."

Peter watched him for a moment before nodding. "That's what I thought."

"So do I pass inspection?"

Chewing on his lip for a second, Peter sighed. "Murphy, I'll give it to you straight. I don't like what you and your brother are involved in. If it were up to me, that stuff would never touch Katie." He raised his eyes up for a moment before looking straight at Murphy again. "But I think that you might be the best thing that's happened to her for a long while."

"And she is for me too."

"What's the name of your FBI agent?" Peter's question caught him off guard and Murphy stared at him for a moment. Where the fuck had that come from?

"How did ye know we had one?"

"Katie."

"Why do ye need ta know?"

Peter crossed his arms over his chest again. "Because. I want to help you guys."

"And how are ye gonna do that?"

"You lost an informant. I can replace him."

Murphy eyed him for a moment, trying to read the sincerity in his face. Finally, he nodded. "His name is Paul Smecker. He actually works out of the Boston P.D., south precinct."

"I'll get in contact with him." Peter moved to the door. "And it's getting fucking cold. Let's go in."

Smiling, Murphy moved to follow him but saw the yellow cab pull up near the bar. A blond woman was handing money to the driver and he grinned. _Bout fuckin time she showed up. _ Waving at Peter, he stepped toward the cab. "Go in. I'll be in, in a minute."

* * *

Katie sighed again as she watched Murphy and her brother up near the bar. It irritated her that they made her leave. Rolling her eyes, she turned to look at Connor who still sat quietly across from her. His eyes were also on where Peter and Murphy stood. 

"Fuck. Why couldn't you have been the one I'd fallen for instead?" She muttered and he turned his head to her with a raised eyebrow.

"Now this sounds like the start of a fuckin' awkward conversation."

Laughing, she shook her head. "You know what I mean. You're not the one up there feeling the need to talk to Peter in private. Without me."

"I have a feelin' it's yer brother who suggested that, not mine." He pressed his lips together and raised his eyebrows.

"What's your point?" She muttered again, not being able to fully hide a smile.

"Murph can be a hassle. But me point is that you and I both know he's worth it."

"Connor, you're not doing this right. You're supposed to agree with me, not defeat my arguments." She grinned fully as he just kept staring at her. Glancing back at where her brother and Murphy stood, she realized they were continuing their discussion outside. Katie moved forward to follow but Connor reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Let 'em go, Katie. They need ta work out whatever it is between them."

"Me, Connor. It's fucking me between them. And Peter was trained by our older brother to be way too overprotective. Annoying overprotective."

"Aye, but Murphy can take care of himself. Besides, I think he likes yer brother." Connor pulled her back into the booth before he let go of her arm.

"How the hell can you tell that?"

"Body language. That, and I know me brother."

"Yeah, well I know mine too. And Peter already doesn't want me near you guys."

Connor narrowed his eyes at her. "Why not?"

"Because he's concerned. He hears bits and pieces of their plans for you two and he nearly blew his stack when he found out I was with you guys."

"No wonder he's angry with him." Connor took a drink of his beer and Katie couldn't help but notice that his eyes wandered back to the door.

"Why?"

"Fuck, it doesn't take a fuckin' psychic ta see what's goin' on between you and Murph. So not only are ye involved with us, but yer _involved_ with Murph. I'd be a bit upset with that situation myself if you were me sister."

Peter stepped inside then and Katie felt Connor tense across from her as the door closed and Murphy didn't appear. Her brother made his way over to them, veering around the tables.

"Pete, where's Murphy?" She asked quickly, hoping to keep Connor settled down. Peter shrugged.

"He saw someone getting out of a cab, so he waited for her."

Katie smiled then and she meet Connor's gaze. They both relaxed. "Sara."

He grinned and took a drink of his beer. Peter sat down next to Katie and held his hand out to Connor.

"I'm Peter, Katie's brother."

"I'm Connor, Murphy's brother."

Katie grinned at their introductions and just shook her head. "Did you get things figured out, dumbass?"

Peter nudged her. "Watch it, Katie. Or we'll have to take this outside."

"And I'd kick your ass all over again."

"You haven't kicked my ass since I was five."

"That's because you stopped trying to fight me then." She grinned as she heard Connor's laughter.

"Are you two always like this?"

Katie nodded and put her elbow on Peter's shoulder, leaning against him. "Basically, yeah. I'm still waiting for him to grow up."

"You first, Sis."

"Christ, you two are worse than Murphy."

"How are they worse than me?" Murphy's voice floated over as he led Sara up to their booth.

Laughing, Katie grinned at him. "Murphy, stop eavesdropping."

"I heard me fuckin' name, that's hardly eavesdroppin'."

Peter slid out of the booth and held his hand out, motioning for Murphy to take his seat. Grinning, Murphy sat down next to Katie.

"Wow, I think my brother likes you, Murph." She gave a smiling look past him to where Peter sat in a chair he grabbed.

"We have an understanding."

"What type of understanding, Peter?" Raising an eyebrow at him, she glanced between him and Murphy. Connor cleared his throat from across the table, catching her attention with a grin.

"A gentleman's understandin'." He tilted his head to Peter who nodded in agreement.

"Christ, which is?" She exchanged a look of exasperation with Sara who just grinned at her from where she sat with Connor.

"Ta keep ye from doin' anything fuckin' stupid." Murphy grinned at her, giving her a look. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"And they're trusting you with this, Murphette?"

He just kept smiling and put his arm around her. "I'm the man fer the fuckin' job."

Leaning against him, Katie took a drink. "Whatever."

"Screwdriver, Katie?" She shifted her gaze but at Peter who was laughing.

"Yes. A drunken idiot talked me into it once."

"Huh, imagine that. You listening to a drunken idiot for drink tips." Peter laughed and Katie turned red as everyone else joined in.

* * *

Sara's mind kept returning to the manila folder that was now buried in the bottom drawer of her desk. She hated that she couldn't warn them about it, but she had a feeling they wouldn't let her get involved. Now, she was getting a good idea of how Katie felt. She could do something to help, so she wasn't going to just idly sit by. 

Raising her eyes across the table again, she watched her friend smile up at Murphy again and smack him in the shoulder. She still needed to talk to her, but tonight wasn't the right time for that. Tonight was supposed to be to relax, but Sara couldn't quite get there.

Connor's arm pulled her closer to him and she turned her head to look at him. He looked at her carefully for a moment. "What's botherin' ye?"

"What makes you think something's bothering me?"

"I can tell. Ye're tense." His eyes were worried and she leaned up to kiss him lightly.

"It's just a project, no big deal."

"Forget about work for tonight, Sara."

"Easier said than done, isn't it, Sara?" Peter spoke quietly from his chair at end of the booth. She turned to look at him, surprised. He gave her a small smile.

The table became quiet around them as she didn't answer. Moving her eyes to Katie, they just looked at each other. They had wondered if they could do _this_. If they could live like this.

Sara realized that the moment of choosing had passed. Their way out had disappeared without them realizing it. And now, nothing could stop them from living this life. Not that either of them would willingly give it up. The McManuses had become that important to them already.

Peter rose slightly from the table. "I've got to get back." He nodded at Connor, then Murphy. "It was nice meeting you. I feel better about leaving her here now." Glancing at Sara, he smiled. "Good to see you again, Sara."

She nodded back and watched as Katie led him to the door. Murphy wandered up to the bar to get another beer, leaving her and Connor alone in the still silent booth.

"Ye ever date him, Sara?" His question surprised her, bringing her eyes away from where Katie was hugging her brother at the door. He smiled down at her and she could only see the honest curiosity in his eyes.

"Peter? No. We just were good friends."

"There just seemed ta be a moment there between ye."

She turned fully toward him and smiled. "Are you jealous, Connor?"

"No, just fuckin' curious."

"If anything, that was a moment of understanding. We went through Katie leaving us together. And I think we knew then that it was just the start of things. But I didn't realize just how big this whole situation would get."

"It was tough on ye both." He pulled her hair back behind her shoulder and kissed the side of her head. "And honestly, I'm glad ye had someone ta lean on then."

"And I do now, as well." She kept her voice quiet and she felt the change in tension between them. "I just get to love you, too."

Staring down at her for a second, she could see the love in his eyes as he smiled down at her. His lips met hers softly. He deepened the kiss but then pulled away, leaning his forehead against hers. "God, I missed ye."

"Break it up, break it up." Katie smiled softly at them as she slid into the booth. "No kissing allowed at the table."

Murphy slid in next to her with a grin. "Fuck that rule." He kissed her soundly on the mouth before taking a drink of his beer. She just shook her head with a laugh. Sara felt Connor chuckle and she relaxed against them. Taking a drink of her beer, she glanced around the table. She found herself tucking the worries in that manila folder in the back of her mind as she listened to the teasing fly back and forth. She was home again. Even if home was a smoky Irish pub.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Short term unbetaed version (will have the polished one up soon!). I just didn't want to wait...since I had people demanding more and all. :) I love that I'm not the only one addicted to this! It definitely it makes it even more fun to write! And I will try to keep up with the brisk updating pace I foolishly set for myself. :) But the next few weeks are looking busier for me...so if it takes a few extra days between postings, please don't hate me! I'll work my best to make it worth the wait. :)**

It was nearly one o'clock in the morning when Katie watched Sara and Connor leave the bar. She leaned against Murphy, starting to get tired but not wanting to move. He kept his arm around her and took another drag of his cigarette as they both watched the people around them.

Smecker slid into seat across from them, grinning from ear to ear. Katie could tell that he was nearing drunk and she smiled back. He looked between the two of them and shook his head. "You two are fucking boring. You're young, you're supposed to be having fun, not falling fricken asleep."

"Find me a chandelier and I'm fucking swing from it, Paul." She offered and he just kept smiling at her.

She felt Murphy laugh. "Maybe we just aren't as fuckin' lightweight as you are, Smecker."

"Doesn't matter. Come join us at the bar." He got up again, stumbling slightly and held out his hand. Katie just grinned and took it, allowing him to drag her out of the booth and up to a stool at the bar. Da looked up as she got there and just shook his head.

"The man's no fuckin' Irishman, that's fer sure." He held a cigar in his hand, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger.

"Aye, if he were fuckin' Irish, he'd be only half plastered by now." Murphy took the stool on the other side of Katie and smiled at Da.

"Where'd ye brother go?"

"Took Sara home."

"The lass have ta work tomorrow?"

"Yeah, poor Sara." Katie laughed as Doc set a screwdriver in front of without her needing to ask. "Thanks, Doc." He smiled back and she noticed that he was fairly intoxicated himself. She exchanged an amused look with Murphy.

"Ten ta one he won't be back til the fuckin' mornin'." He leaned close and grinned at Katie. She pressed her lips together and shook her head.

"Nope, he'll be back tonight. Maybe even in time to walk with us home from the bar." She stuck her hand out and they shook on it. "Wait, what are we even betting with?"

Murphy narrowed his eyes, thinking. "If I win, I get ta decide what we're doin' tomorrow night."

"Ouch, tough bet there, Murph." She teased him. He just smiled slowly.

"Ye have no idea what I could be fuckin' plannin'."

"Fine, deal. If I win, I get to decide."

They shook hands again and he kept his grip on her hand, lacing their fingers together. "If I win, I get ta do whatever I want with ye."

Katie tried to hold back a laugh but couldn't, ignoring the slight shiver that went down her spine. "Give it up, Murph. You're just not intimidating to me."

"Fuck, I'm not even tryin'." He smiled fully before kissing the back of her hand gently.

She reached up and patted the left side of his face. "Keep that for the bad guys, Murphy. You can have me without the effort."

"And that is why I love ye. Ye let me be lazy about it." He leaned in and kissed her softly. They just smiled at each other, ignoring the drunken talking and laughter around them.

* * *

Connor watched Sara's profile as she slid her key into the deadbolt, unlocking the door. She'd relaxed at the bar and been nearly normal, but he knew beneath the surface something was bothering her. Something new.

He walked into the apartment behind her, his eyes roaming the tastefully decorated rooms as they always did. Her apartment had a style to it, and he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. But it felt homey and warm. Like a place he could stay for a long while.

Smiling, he continued looking around. She would make their home look really nice someday. His eyes widened slightly and he stood up straight again. _Where the fuck did that come from? Christ._

Connor felt a hand touch his arm and he turned to see Sara watching him with a raised eyebrow. "Something wrong?"

He shook his head. "Ah….no. Nothin' is wrong."

She rested her arms around his neck, leaned closing to him. His hands spread across the small of her back, bringing her even closer. Their lips met and he felt his blood start to hum as he backed her up against the door.

Pulling away, she laughed softly and laid her head on his chest. "I'm tired, Conn."

"Then maybe we should get ye ta bed." He ran his hand down her hair lightly.

"Worst line I ever heard." She pulled back and kissed him softly. He moved his lips to her temple.

"Ye know what I mean." His eyes met hers and they exchanged a long look. "Wanna tell what this project is that's botherin' ye so much?"

Shaking her head slowly, she dropped her eyes away from his. "It's just work. Just something I have to take care of."

"Anything I can help with?"

"No…I mean, not really. Just a stressful bit of research for an upcoming project." Her answer sounded too quick, too forced for him and his curiosity peaked. He wanted to keep working the answer out of her, because he knew eventually he'd be able to. But when he looked closely at her again, he could see the fatigue in her face as she stared at her desk.

His eyes followed hers to the desk, but could see nothing out of the ordinary there. Her work was stressing her out. And that desk must be where she worked at home. It seemed reasonable that she'd stare off in that direction.

Lifting his hand to her face again, he rubbed his finger across her cheek. "Ye look exhausted, sweetie."

The endearment slipped out and as her eyes moved up to his, he knew she'd caught it. But she just gave him a small smile and nodded. "I am. I wish I wasn't so that you could stay. But I'm not gonna be worth anything tonight, Conn."

"Ye're worth everything, Sara. I'll just not be cashin' in tonight." He whispered softly, smiling down at her as she grinned.

"And that's another reason I like you so much, Connor. You're corny as hell." She kissed him again before stepping back. "You can come talk to me while I get ready for bed. That is, if you want to."

Nodding slowly, he allowed her to lead him back to her bedroom. He wandered slowly around her bedroom, his eyes taking the familiar pictures and knickknacks in as she changed into her pajamas. They both stayed silent.

Despite their lack of words, he continued to stick close to where she was more than a little intrigued by her bedtime routine. Leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom, he watched as she washed her face, brushed her teeth and rubbed something on her face. More than once she glanced up at him and laughed softly, shaking her head.

It was only as she padded softly back to her room that she finally spoke to him. "Did you enjoy the show?" She peeled back the covers of her bed and sat on the edge.

He grinned. "I've just never seem such a fuckin' complicated routine."

He didn't want to admit it, but something about watching her nightly ritual made him feel warm and at ease. It was a part of her that few saw. And she'd invited him to stay with her. Granted, she'd wanted him to talk to her, but the silence had been fulfilling enough for the both of them.

She just smiled and shook her head at him. She looked younger; he realized, with her face still flushed and clean, with a large t-shirt and pair of sweats as her pajamas. And once again he found himself picturing her like this on an early Sunday morning, newspaper spread out in front of her. Only she was wearing his t-shirt, instead of the one she had on.

_Christ._ He blinked hard and rubbed his hand over his face. When he looked at her again, she was raising an eyebrow at him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just a bit tired meself." _Tired, not really. Fuckin' psychotic, yes. _ He found that he didn't need to force a smile as she tilted her head and looked at him harder.

"You sure?"

"Aye, I'm sure. Now go ta sleep." Putting on hand on the bed beside her, he cupped her face with the other and kissed her gently. She lay down and covered herself up, smiling back up at him. He pulled the covers up to her chin and pressed his lips to her forehead.

Laughing, she rubbed her hand over his hair before he stood up. "I haven't been tucked in…well, fuck, in ages really."

Pointing his finger at her, he grinned. "No flashlights, no readin' and no talkin'."

"Who am I gonna talk to?"

"Don't know. That's just what Ma used ta say ta us when she tucked us in." He shrugged and chuckled as she just smiled back again. "Good night, Sara."

"Night. Oh, Connor?" She sat up on one elbow as he neared the door. Glancing back, he saw a serious look on her face and waited. "I just…I just wanted you to know I meant what I said earlier."

"What was that?" He kept his voice light as his brain whirled through all the possible things she said.

"That I…that I get to love you."

He smiled slowly at her, feeling his heart speed up a bit as she grinned back. It wasn't the three little words he longed to hear, but it was fucking close. Stepping back to the bed, he crouched down and kissed her quickly. "I love ye too, Sara." With another kiss, he turned and walked to the door. "Now go ta sleep."

"Goodnight, Conn."

"G'night, Sara." Shutting her door most of the way, he wandered slowly back out to the living room. He rubbed his hand over the back of his head slowly. Something had changed. And he didn't know what it was, but he knew he liked it.

He'd never been able to picture a woman in his home or in his life in the future. He had pictured them naked, yes, but not in his old t-shirt at the kitchen table. Squeezing his eyes shut, he worked on forcing the images out of his head. They weren't ready for this. _Fuck, she's not ready for this. Maybe I am, though._

But he knew he couldn't allow himself to create a future world in his mind involving her. They'd have kids, a dog and a cluttered house planned before he knew it and she wasn't even close to ready for it. No, he couldn't do it. He'd probably fucking scare her off with that type of behavior.

His eyes landed on her desk again as he opened them and he stared at it. Glancing behind him quickly, he stepped closer, sweeping the top of it with his gaze. Nothing seemed odd about what lay there. Nothing that would stress her out, tense her up like she'd been all night.

But it was there. He knew it was there. Her eyes had blamed _it_ for being tired, landing on _it_ as she looked away from him. The project had to be in there somewhere. And more than anything, he wanted to clear this stress from her life.

Pausing, he frowned slightly. Her desk was private, full of papers dealing with her work. And he had no right to it. Sighing lightly, he stepped back and headed toward the door. If it was important, he'd just have to trust her to tell him when she was ready. He just hoped it wasn't important and that it would be completed soon without causing her too much grief. Because the last thing they needed right now was to add anything else to the stresses in their lives.

* * *

Murphy glanced up from his conversation with an even drunker Smecker to see Katie flashing him a triumphant grin. She tilted her head toward the door of the bar, where Connor stood, shaking the rain from his hair. Giving him two thumbs up, she did a silent victory dance that made him laugh. _Christ, she was a fuckin' sore winner._

"Ye just made me lose a fuckin' bet, Conn. Thanks." He clapped his brother on the shoulder as he sat down on the stool next to him. Connor just smiled at him.

"What the fuck did ye bet on?"

"That ye wouldn't make it home til mornin'. Everything okay with Sara?" Murphy leaned his elbow on the counter and turned to face Connor, who simply shrugged.

"She's exhausted and won't tell me what's fuckin' botherin' her." He took a drink of the beer Doc had slapped down in front of him.

"Typical fuckin' woman, Conn. What the fuck have we got ourselves in ta here?" Speaking it aloud, Murphy couldn't help but grin. Connor laughed softly.

"We're fucked, Murph. We let 'em in and now they think they've got the fuckin' control."

"Aye, but they don't. Do they?" Murphy shot him an unsure glance before his eyes landed on Katie, who was laughing at Da several stools down.

"Like I said, we're fucked."

They drank their beer in silence and Murphy realized this was the first time in a while that he'd just talked to his brother. They'd spent so much time together before Katie entered their lives, and now that Sara was there to, they rarely had time for just them. Pulling out his cigarettes, he lit two and passed one over to Connor without a word.

Connor took a long drag and exhaled before turning back to him. "So, what'd I make ye lose?"

"Just the fuckin' right ta plan what we do tomorrow night." Murphy grinned as he stared down at the lit end of his cigarette. "She'll probably have me fuckin' ice skatin' or some shite. It's all yer fuckin' fault, too."

"Maybe she'll fuckin' surprise ye. Katie doesn't seem much like the ice skatin' type. Maybe ye'll end up doing fuckin' yoga instead." Leaning away, he laughed as Murphy moved a hand to smack him.

They both took another drag and Connor picked slowly at the label on his bottle. "So, what the fuck did happen with Tommy?" His eyes landed on the dark haired bartender, who was wiping down the counter with a scowl.

Murphy's eyes followed his and he felt the flash of anger rise again. "He was pickin' a fuckin' fight with her. I don't fuckin' understand why, though."

"That's what Da said. He saw the whole fuckin' thing. Said Tommy was lookin' fer her ta fuckin' hit him. What the fuck would he gain from that?" Connor rolled the cigarette between his fingertips, tapping it lightly to make the ashes fall to the counter.

"Let's ask him."

"Murph." Connor gave him a low warning, but Murphy slid off his stool anyway. He knew Connor would come to back him up, or to stop him from doing anything stupid. Feeling Katie glance up at them as they moved past her and Da, Murphy kept his eye to the floor. She didn't need to know what he was doing.

Tommy glanced up as they approached, narrowing his eyes at them. "I'm not serving down here."

"We don't need ta be served. Just wanted ta talk to ye." Murphy leaned causally on the counter, not wanting to tip Tommy off. But the bartender still tensed as Connor stepped up beside him.

"What about?"

"Katie. And why ye feel the need ta bother her."

"We had a conversation. That's all."

"A conversation ye won't be havin' again." Murphy took another drag of his cigarette before grinding it into the ashtray in front of him with more force than necessary. "Leave her alone, Tommy. That's all I'm tellin' ye."

"And what right do you have to tell me that?"

"Are ye fuckin' stupid?" He moved forward, gripping the edge of the bar and felt Connor lean in beside him.

"So, what'd ye say ta her, Tommy?" He made it sound almost conversational, but Murphy could hear the edge to his voice.

"None of your fuckin' business. It was a conversation between me and her. She's an adult, Murphy. If she wants to talk to other guys, deal with it."

Connor reached out and held his arm across Murphy's chest, keeping him from doing anything stupid. "Listen ta me, ye stupid fuck. Ye have two choices. Leave her alone or face us. Got it?"

With that, Murphy felt himself being forced away from the bar and he had to work hard not to pound Tommy's smirking face into the bar. Connor muttered for him to keep going, and it was only as he turned that Murphy realized just how much of an audience they had. His eyes met Katie's and he forced himself to look away quickly, hoping she couldn't read him.

Grabbing his coat from the booth, he walked through the front door of the bar. The air held a mild chill, but Murphy still breathed in deeply. _Calm down. Calm the fuck down._ Why did Tommy feel the need to fuck with Katie? What _did_ he gain by it?

It was that that bothered Murphy the most. That he knew he wasn't seeing the whole picture. Something more was going on here. Leaning against the brick of the building, he shuffled through his pockets for his pack of cigarettes.

Lighting one, he heard the door open beside him. Without having to look, he knew it was Katie. He could just feel her there. She sighed heavily and put her back to the wall beside him, pulling the cigarette out of his hand.

"What's going on, Murph?" Her voice was soft but he kept his eyes on the quiet street in front of them.

"Nothin'."

"Murph."

"Fuck, Katie. It's nothin'. I just needed some fuckin' air."

"And talking to Tommy just happened to be on your way to get air?" She turned to him and he could feel her eyes on him. _Fuck._ He didn't want to do this anymore. He was tired of the fighting and he knew his reaction would lead to one.

"It was somethin' I had ta deal with."

"It was something _you_ had to deal with. Murphy, why push it further? It was done, over with." The red glow of the cigarette caught his eye as she took another drag. "I could've handled it."

"Aye, but I took care o' it."

"That's not the fucking point, Murphy." She sighed and he finally looked over at her. His eyes wandered her profile and she glared at the brick building opposite of him. "I can fight my own battles. I've been doing it-"

"Long enough. Ye've been doin' it long enough, Katie." He pulled the cigarette from her and took a long drag before handing it back to her. "He ever bother ye before now?"

Shaking her head, she faced him, leaning her temple against the brick and closing her eyes. "I would've told you if he had. He's barely spoken to me until recently. And besides asking about you the other night, he's never said anything about you guys."

"Askin' about us how?" Murphy saw her shiver and pulled her coat around her tighter. He slid his arms around her and she leaned her head against his chest, her eyes still closed.

"Just wanted to know if you'd gotten to New York okay. He was fucking loud about it, but nothing too big of deal." Her voice was muffled and he could hear that she was beyond tired.

"How'd he find out?"

"Said Doc told him. Seemed likely to me." She tilted her chin up to look at him, opening her eyes. He stared down at her and nodded. But she continued to just look up at him and he found himself studying her eyes again. They were a beautiful mixture of blue, green and brown rings around an ink black pupil. The skin beside her eyes crinkled as she smiled up at him. "Trying to read your fortunes?"

"What?" He blinked.

"You're just staring, Murph. Thought maybe my eyes had turned into gazing balls or something." Rubbing her fingers over her face, she stepped back away from him as the door opened again behind them. Connor stepped out, leading Da and a stumbling Smecker.

Connor looked at him for a long moment, reading him without a problem. Murphy nodded unnecessarily. _Aye, I'm fuckin' fine. And yes, we'll talk about it later._ His brother smiled slightly and nodded back.

"We're gonna get the fuckin' drunken agent home. We'll meet ye back at the apartment." Connor's eyes widened as he realized the Smecker had managed to hail a cab by waving his arms above his head. Sighing heavily, he shrugged and followed Da into the cab.

Murphy watched it take off without speaking, only looking at Katie again once it disappeared. Her eyes were half shut and he couldn't help but smile. Putting his arms around her, he kissed her temple. "Ye gonna make it home?"

"Mmmm…yeah. Walk fast. It'll wake me up."

"Why didn't ye just tell me you were fuckin' tired? We could've left earlier."

She shrugged knocking his arm askew. Murphy just set it around her again, pulling her more securely to him. Her arm went around his waist and her head leaned against his shoulder. "I didn't want to leave early. Didn't want to miss anything."

"What would ye have missed? A drunken Smecker?"

"Hey, that was well worth it." She laughed softly.

"And it's a sight ye'll likely fuckin' see again." Murphy just grinned down at her. They'd set a brisk rhythm in their footsteps and he smiled slightly as he saw that they stepped together. Neither of them spoke as they put distance between them and McGinty's, nearing the apartment.

The silence was comfortable and it allowed his mind to wander. Things had been so whirlwind between them that he hadn't been able to stop and wonder. Her eyes hadn't revealed any fortunes to him, but he had seen his future in them. And he knew he wanted to be staring down into those eyes for the rest of his life.

* * *

Connor slid into his bed and lay back with a sigh. His bed. Soft, comfortable, familiar. Closing his eyes, he smiled. He loved being back home. But at the same time, there wasn't anything he wouldn't give to be in Sara's bed right now. _A different type of home. _ Lacing his fingers behind his head, his thoughts were interrupted by low voices moving into the room.

The light switched on and he squinted at both Murphy and Katie as they stepped into the room. Murphy sat down on his bed and was untying his boots. But Katie just stood there, seeming unsure of what to do.

"What's goin' on?" He sighed, knowing there was a reason she stood there and not wanting to admit he knew what the reason was.

"Da's back is bothering him." She sighed and looked over at him. "He took my bed."

"Okay." Connor offered slowly, moving his hand in a circle, motioning for someone to go on.

"If it bothers you, I can sleep on the couch." She crossed her arms over her chest and stepped back toward the door. Murphy reached out and grabbed her arm. They exchanged a look before Murphy turned to him.

"Will it bother ye if she sleeps in here tonight? If it does, _I'll_ take the fuckin' couch."

Sighing, Connor laid his head back down and shrugged. "It's fine. Stop acting like I'm gonna fuckin' yell at ye, Katie."

She laughed softly. "I wasn't afraid of that. I just didn't want this to be awkward."

"Then don't make it fuckin' awkward." He offered a smile to her and chuckled softly as she grinned back.

Murphy stripped down to his boxers and slipped into his bed, flipping the light switch. Keeping his eyes mostly closed, Connor peeked out, curious as to what Katie was going to wear to bed. She pulled her sweat pants off and he saw instantly that she had a pair of shorts underneath. Her eyes landed on his and she started laughing.

"What were you expecting?"

"Nothing." He closed his eyes fully, not quite being able to suppress a smile. She kept laughing.

"You are such a fucking guy, Connor."

"What'd he do?" Murphy's voice was muffled and Connor knew that he was already comfortable deep within his blankets.

"Your pervert brother was waiting to see what I'd wear to sleep in." Her voice was teasing.

"Wouldn't he like ta know?" His response was followed by the sound of Katie smacking his arm. She gasped out a giggle and when Connor opened his eyes, she was being held down by Murphy on the bed.

"Okay, rule number one: if I hear anythin' other than fuckin' sleepin' over there, I hit both of ye. Rule number two: go ta fuckin' sleep!"

He pointed his finger at them for a moment before lying back down. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw them exchange a glance.

"Yes, Da." They chorused and both started laughing. He leaned up on his elbow and raised an eyebrow.

"Christ, one of ye was fuckin' bad enough. Now I got fuckin' Murph and Murphette here."

"Sorry, Conn." Katie grinned at him. "We'll sleep now. I'm tired enough to."

He stared over at her for a moment before smiling. "Goodnight."

"Night, Conn." Murphy called over Katie's shoulder. She shook her head at Connor.

"Goodnight."

He watched her lay down and saw Murphy's arm go around her instantly. A small smile appeared on her face and Connor lay back down on his bed, feeling even happier than he was. They were fucking annoying as a team, but he couldn't help but to be happy that they were together.

* * *

Katie's hip hitting the floor is what finally woke her up. Pain shot through her body and she winced as she sat up, feeling disoriented. Why the fuck was she on the floor? A low, terrified moan from the bed above her sent chills down her spine. Hands pulled her up and she found herself looking into Connor's face.

"Ye okay?" His whisper was quiet and hurried. As soon as she nodded, they both turned to Murphy's bed, where Murphy lay in twisted sheets, his face screwed up in fear. Her heart raced as Katie stepped forward, but Connor's arm stopped her. "He can get violent. Let me do it."

Connor sat down on the bed, grabbing Murphy's arms as both fists swung at him. Raising her hand to her mouth, Katie watched frozen. "What's wrong with him?" Her question managed to make it out between her lips.

"It's just a nightmare. He used ta fuckin' have them when he was little. It's been awhile though."

_What kind of fucking nightmare is this?_ She watched as Connor tried to sooth the still struggling, still sleeping Murphy. It didn't seem to be working. After another long few seconds, Connor put his hand flat on Murphy's chest and leaned over him.

"Murph." His voice was firm and loud enough that Katie was sure it would wake him. But Murphy just kept struggling, kept fighting to get away from whatever he dreamt held him down. Connor's hand tapped once and he leaned closer. "Murphy, wake up. Ye're dreamin'. Listen ta Connor, wake UP!"

Katie stepped back further as Murphy suddenly tried to sit up, his eyes wide, and for a moment, unseeing. Connor slid his hand up to cup Murphy's cheek, murmuring in a language she couldn't understand. But it seemed to calm Murphy down as he lay back on the bed, raising a shaking hand to his forehead.

They whispered back and forth in the language and she felt as if she were intruding a private moment. One that they'd had often in their childhood in the wake of Murphy's nightmares.

This was a side of them she hadn't really seen. They were close, obviously, but their affection tended to be portrayed more in teasing and wrestling, with the occasion pat on the back or chest. Those actions made them friends, brothers even. _But this,_ she realized as she fought tears. _This is what made them twins._ And she wondered briefly, if she would ever be the one that Murphy would trust enough to wake him up from his nightmares.

His eyes found her at that moment and they stared at each other. After a long moment, Murphy dropped his eyes and let his head fall back onto the pillow. Connor stepped off of the bed and looked at Katie with a sigh.

"He'll be okay now." He spoke softly to her. "And he's never had more than one a night."

Nodding, she stayed where she was as Connor moved past her. She couldn't take her eyes off of Murphy, watching him as he struggled to seem indifferent. Her heart went out to him as she realized he was barely winning the battle. His eyes moved to hers again, this time only holding for a brief second.

"Are ye gonna sleep or stand there?" He sounded angry but at what she couldn't tell for sure. Her hip throbbed as she stepped forward, but she worked to keep from wincing.

"Are you okay?" She kept her voice soft and sat down on the bed beside him.

"I'm fine. Are ye gonna sleep here or what?" He kept his eyes straight ahead. Katie pressed her lips together and sighed. She could still feel the adrenaline running through her veins and didn't know if she could lay still yet. Didn't want to keep him up. Didn't know if she wanted to risk getting kicked out of bed again.

"I can sleep out there." She moved to get up but felt him wrap his hand around hers.

"Stay. Please." His eyes were on hers as she turned and he squeezed her hand. Nodding slowly, she laid down next to him.

Katie relaxed a little as Murphy's arm went around her again, pulling her tightly against him. The pain in her hip had subsided a little and she nestled into the curve of his body. His hand spread flat against her stomach. She felt him rest his forehead against the crown of her head and take a deep breath.

It only took her a moment to decide and she lifted his hand, turning over to face him. His fingers caressed the small of her back as she laid her head down next to his and looked into his eyes. The fear was still there, hiding around the edges and Katie couldn't help but to picture him as a boy, frightened in the night by dreams.

He stared down at her and she saw that he was still fighting his emotions. _He doesn't want me to know how upset he is._ The exhaustion in his face made her heart ache and she raised her hand to touch his cheek. His eyes closed against her touch and she felt the clamminess of his skin beneath her fingertips.

Kissing him lightly, she caught his gaze again and held it. _It's okay, Murph. I'm here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you._ She wished she could speak the words aloud to him. To comfort him as he had her.

Giving her a weak smile, he kissed her forehead lightly and ran his fingers down her cheek, leading her head down to his shoulder. His arms held her to him securely. She felt his heartbeat slow down and his breathing even out as she slipped into sleepiness.

It was only as his hold on her relaxed, that she felt him slip under. His whisper was near her ear. "I love ye." Smiling slightly, she hoped for good dreams.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Sorry for the brief wait on this one, I hope to get better about getting these done again soon. Don't give up on me yet:):) Because more is yet to come in this story and I know once I reach a certain point, it'll be much easier to write it... Thanks to Rynn for being my beta! I know I demand lots of time:):)**

Connor's hand wrapped around his coffee cup tightly as he stared at the television. It was early still, too early for anything but news to be on. He was hardly interested but sleep had slipped beyond his grasp hours ago.

His brother's nightmares were back. As if they didn't have enough to stress and worry them, but now this was added on top of it. As kids, the almost nightly occurrences had affected both of their lives for weeks at a time before they would disappear again. Murphy suffered through the dream and he suffered through watching and fighting to get him back.

That first night when Murphy woke up moaning and twitching, Connor had thought he had been possessed. They had snuck out a copy of _The Exorcist_ from Uncle Sibeal's video cabinet only a few nights before and it had terrified them both. It was only after he was able to wake his brother up that he realized Father O'Neil wasn't going to be able to help them with this.

The dreams never had anything to do with the scary movies they watched or the stories they made up. It was usually about some combination of Ma's death, Da's death, Uncle Sibeal's death and Connor's death, usually at the hands of some unforeseen murderer. Even for days after the last nightmare would take place, Connor would often find Murphy staring off somewhere, the visuals of his nightmare still very fresh in his mind.

Sipping his coffee slowly, Connor couldn't help but wonder what this dream was about. Fuck, he thought they had long since left this stage behind, but the old familiar sick feeling in his stomach told him this was only the beginning.

The sound of socks shuffling down the hall made him look up and he saw Murphy rounding the corner from the hallway.

"Mornin'." Connor offered but wasn't surprised when his brother barely nodded at him. It was only when he had a fresh cup of coffee and had sat down beside him that he finally spoke.

"Thanks." His voice was low and his eyes were focused on the steaming liquid. Reaching out, Connor put his hand on Murphy's shoulder, squeezing lightly.

"Ye alright?"

A shrug was his only response.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No." Murphy sighed heavily and stood up. "I'm gonna get in the fuckin' shower."

Connor nodded at his brother's back and let out his own sigh. He knew Murphy wasn't ready to talk. It was usually a day or so before he opened up to him. Closing his eyes, he sighed, realizing that he really didn't know though anymore. Things were so different now that they were adults with this nightmare business. They could always blame it on monsters and ghosts when they were lads. But now they'd seen real horror in their lives. And now their nightmares were no longer green blobs. They were filled with the blood and bullets of their memories.

The shower had been on for a few minutes when Connor felt himself being watched. Turning his head, he watched as Katie trudged out, her eyes still half closed.

"Morin'."

"Eh." Was all she let out as she pulled a mug out of the cupboard.

"Christ, can't anyone just fuckin' say good mornin' ta me too?" Connor muttered under his breath and was surprised when Katie opened her eyes fully at him. She smiled slightly and set the mug on the counter, walking over to sit next to him on the couch.

"Good morning, sunshine." Her enthusiasm was fake but as he looked down at her, he realized the small smile she gave him was real.

"Thank ye. That's all I fuckin' ask." Motioning toward the counter with his mug, he raised an eyebrow. "I think ye forgot yer coffee."

She shook her head slowly. "Don't think it'll agree with me this morning."

"How's the hip?"

Letting out a breath, she leaned back against the couch. "Sore."

"Ye did fine, Katie. You did exactly what he needed ye ta do."

Her eyes trailed up to his and she sighed again. "What the fuck was that, Conn?

"A nightmare. He used ta get them when we were little."

"Are they always that bad?"

Connor paused before nodding slowly. "Aye. It's a bit o' a shock. I just hope ye won't have ta get used to 'em."

"Christ. Is he okay?"

Shrugging, Connor just looked at her. "He hasn't said much. But probably not yet. Whatever the fuck it is he sees in those dreams takes fuckin' hold on him for a while."

"Just when you think things can't get worse, right?"

"Aye."

They sat in silence for a few minutes and Connor continued to stare at the television. He heard her shift slightly and realized she'd turned to look at him.

"Conn, will you do me a favor?"

"Depends." He offered her a smiled quick before taking another drink.

"Will you get Sara later this afternoon and meet us at your old workplace?"

"What? Why?" Leaning forward, Connor set his mug down and put his elbow against the back of the couch, looking at her.

"You ever just get a feeling?"

"What type of fuckin' feelin', Katie?"

"Just a feeling. Sara and I will be better off if we know how to handle a gun. If we know we can shoot one. And I think it might help you and Murph feel better too."

Connor pressed his lips together and studied her for a long moment. He let out a breath. "Katie, there's a good chance Murph's gonna keep havin' the fuckin' nightmares whether ye can shoot a gun or not."

"Fuck, Connor, I don't mean just about the nightmares. In general."

"Okay." He offered slowly. She had a point and he knew it. He would feel much better if he knew that Sara at least had a fighting chance if something happened. "Are ye sure ye want ta do this?"

Rubbing a hand over her face, she nodded slowly. "Want to, no. Need to, yes."

"Then we'll do it. I'll take the guns and we'll meet ye there."

"Thanks, Conn." She smiled at him again, looking relieved. "Just call me once you know when you want me to."

"Ye got it." He grinned back and watched as she relaxed back against the couch again. "Fuck, Katie. Go back ta sleep. Ye look fuckin' half asleep."

"I am fucking half asleep. Impressive, huh?"

"Go. Sleep. Now." He nodded his head toward the door and she jokingly sighed heavily.

"Aye, sir." She mocked him softly and padded back to their room.

Connor shook his head slowly and got to his feet, moving out to the kitchen. Pouring himself another half cup of coffee, he leaned against the counter. He wanted to go see Sara but he knew she would be at work already since it was only the middle of the week. Smiling slightly, he pictured her at her desk. A warm feeling spread through his body. Maybe he would need to go visit her. He could be a great fucking coffee break.

Movement out of the corner of his eye made him turn slightly to see Da moving slowly to the kitchen. Grabbing a mug from the cupboard, Connor poured a cup of coffee and handed it to him.

"Mornin' Da."

Da merely grunted in return as he lowered himself slightly onto a kitchen table chair. Connor just shook his head slowly. So third time was not a charm on getting a good response.

It was only when he glanced over at Da again, that he saw that the grimace was still on his face. Pulling the chair out beside him, Connor sat down and leaned his elbows on the table. "Are ye gonna go ta the fuckin' doctor now?"

"Aye. Gotta fuckin' call this mornin'."

"It that bad?"

The lack of response worried him a little but he knew that Da wouldn't allow him to give any help. It was that stubbornness that ran through the family. Each man stands on his own, which was why Connor wouldn't be telling Da about Murphy's nightmares. It was bad enough that now both Katie and himself had seen them, but telling anyone else would just embarrass his brother and possibly cause a big fight.

Connor nodded slowly and finished his coffee, moving to set his cup in the sink. "I'm gonna go visit Sara at work. Murph and Katie are sleepin' in."

After another second of Da's lack of response, Connor sighed and moved back to their bedroom. Tiptoeing in, he saw that Katie was already fast asleep beneath the covers on Murphy's bed. Grabbing his wallet and his phone from the shared nightstand, he softly shut the door behind him.

The bathroom door opened, revealing a steam-surrounded Murphy. The brothers exchanged a look and Connor nodded toward the door. "Go back ta sleep, Murph."

Murphy dipped his head slightly in response. "Where's Katie?"

"I made her go back ta bed, too."

"Made her?"

Connor grinned at the raised eyebrow. "Well, strongly fuckin' suggested ta her."

"Sounds more likely." Murphy raised a hand to his hair, running his fingers through it to force it to lay flat. "Where are ye headed to?"

"Sara's work."

"Ah."

"Don't fuckin' say 'ah' like that, Murph." Connor chuckled softly. "I'm wide awake and you two are goin' back ta sleep. And Da's in a pissy mood."

"Uh huh. So yer visitin' Sara because yer fuckin' bored?"

"Ye know what I mean."

"Aye, I do." Murphy finally gave him a full smile. "Which is why I'm gonna go back ta bed."

"Good, get some fuckin' sleep."

"Who said we were gonna fuckin' sleep?"

Connor reached out and smacked Murphy lightly on the back of the head. "Sleep first. I'm not dealin' with both of ye pissy later on today."

"This comin' from the man who was up at five fuckin' o'clock this mornin'." Murphy muttered and turned the doorknob, leaving Connor alone in the small hallway.

Connor watched the door shut and stood there for a moment, running his fingers down the side of his phone. So Murphy had heard him get up. Why wasn't he surprised? Sighing, he moved out of the hallway and grabbed his coat off of the chair near the door.

"I'm goin' Da. See ye later."

"Bye, Connor."

Shutting the door behind him, Connor found himself wanting to hurry outside and down to Sara's office. She would be awake, in a good mood and willing to talk to him. And even if she wasn't, well fuck, it was enough that it was Sara. He found himself speeding up his walk as his boots hit the sidewalk.

* * *

Murphy eased the door shut again behind him, his eyes falling on Katie's sleeping figure. Keeping a hand on the towel around his waist, he watched her. Emotions swarmed over him and he closed his eyes against them. Christ, he loved her. The images still burned into his head from the dream terrified him.

_Get a fuckin' hold of yerself, dammit._ He raised a hand to his forehead and forced a deep breath. Pulling on his boxers quickly, he eased into the bed from the bottom, moving slowly as not to wake her. She nestled against him in her sleep as he slipped his arm around her and he forced himself not to sigh in relief. To have his arms around her again made the fear subside. Made it clear to him that she was alive, unhurt and peacefully sleeping in his arms. Now if only they could stay like this forever, he might be okay.

She moved slightly again, and he felt her breathing change. "Murph?"

"Yeah?"

"Connor made you sleep too?" He heard the smile in her voice and nodded.

"Aye. Seems ta think he's the fuckin' older brother or somethin'."

She laughed softly. "You can make him go to bed tonight when he's tired and crabby."

"Good fuckin' idea." He kissed the side of her neck softly and felt the goosebumps rise on her skin. She turned in his arms, her eyes finding his.

"You okay now?" She spoke softly and he had to force himself not to look away. Could she see the fear in him? Did he care if she did? Shrugging slightly, he flattened his hand against the small of her back.

Leaning forward, she kissed him and he raised a hand to her hair. She pulled away after a moment. "You'll be okay, Murph. I promise you that. Don't let your dreams tell you otherwise."

His heart sped up slightly as he stared down at her. _She doesn't realize why I'm afraid. _Sighing, he rested his chin on her forehead and tightened his arms around her. "The dream wasn't about me."

"Connor?" She shifted so that she could look up at him. Murphy closed his eyes. He couldn't look at her and tell her. Couldn't mix the horrible images in his brain with the reality of her in his arms.

"Aye. Both of ye."

"Oh, Murph." She whispered softly. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" He forced himself to get the words out, to keep on talking. If he stopped talking he might never get going again. Might never want to tell her.

"That this scared you. Still does, doesn't it?"

He swallowed tightly and tried to take a deep breath without her realizing it. "I, uh….you were handcuffed ta chairs. In some old buildin' somewhere. Never fuckin' seen it before. They were gonna shoot ye. They did fuckin' shoot ye." _They made me choose between ye. Fuck, Katie, how could I ever tell ye that I couldn't fuckin' choose between ye? _He couldn't tell her. Couldn't let the words out. Couldn't let her know just how much he had failed the both of them.

Katie laid her hand on his chest lightly, and pressed her lips to the skin just above his racing heart. They both were silent for a moment; her waiting for him to continue and him working to find the words.

"They shot the both of ye. And suddenly the gun was in my hand. In my fuckin' hand. I stared at it, not realizing that the whole fuckin' building was burning around me. I fought ta get ta ye. Ta save ye. But they wouldn't let me. Just kept fuckin' holdin' me back." He pressed his lips to her hair, muffling his next words. "And that's when Connor woke me up."

It sounded so stupid, but even in just saying it aloud, he felt the slick fear in his stomach. Felt the smoke burning his lungs as the arms had held him down. Kept him away from them both. Connor's dying eyes had been the last thing he saw.

He held Katie tightly to him and forced himself to just continue breathing deeply. If he could just keep his arms around her, she'd be safe. But what about Connor? Could he protect them both?

It was only when Katie's lips touched his lightly that he pulled back slightly and looked down at her. She had the beginnings of tears in her eyes, but what touched him most was the tenderness he saw there. Running a hand gently down the side of his face, whispering past his bruise, she leaned forward and kissed him again.

Rubbing his thumb along her jaw line, Murphy pressed a kiss to her nose. "What are ye doin'?"

She smiled slightly. "Kissing away the pain. Is it working?"

"Aye, I think it might be." He framed her face with his hands and kissed her deeply. "But I promised Connor we'd sleep first."

Katie just shook her head at him with a smile. "I'm not gonna ask how that conversation went. But we'll sleep later." She pulled him tighter against her and Murphy got lost in her kiss.

"Yeah. Later. Good. " He mumbled against her lips and his hands found the bottom of her shirt. With a smile, he pulled her on top of him.

* * *

Sara sat on her couch, still wrapped in her robe. Her hair had dried two hours ago from her shower, but she still hadn't moved. She hadn't been able to.

The day had started out great. She woke up to a sunny room with Connor's name on her lips. She would make time for him tonight, she had thought. That was a promise. But then she had turned on the news after her shower and seen the report.

_A man's body was found late last night just past the docks in the shipyard. Davis Sheppard was 32 years old. The police suspect foul play. _The words played over and over in her head. Another tear slipped down her cheek but she ignored it.

Davis was dead. He had died in Boston. Less than twelve hours after talking to her. He was dead. She was still numb to it.

A hurried knock on the door finally tore her gaze away from the television screen. A soap opera was on. _When did the news end?_ Sara raised a hand to her face and wiped the stubborn tear trail away with a shaking hand. Glancing at the clock on the wall, her eyes widened as she saw it was now half past ten.

The knocking increased to pounding. She heard Connor's muffled voice call her name. Forcing her stiff legs to move, she got up from the couch and stumbled to the door. Three more pounds echoed through the door as she neared it. Flipping the lock, she pulled it open and sighed.

Connor's fist was raised to knock again but he stopped himself and stared down at her. "What's wrong, Sara? Are ye okay?"

She barely had time to answer before his arms were around her, holding her tightly against him. After a short hesitation, she put her arms around him and leaned her face into his shoulder.

The sobs came easily and she felt herself suddenly overwhelmed with them. He tightened his hold on her and rubbed a hand down her back.

"What's wrong, sweetie? What happened?" It was the shaking in his voice that made her finally speak.

"Davis is dead." Another few sobs followed her words and she pushed her face further into his shoulder. She barely registered it as he shifted slightly and lifted her in his arms. Linking her fingers behind his neck, she clung to him tightly.

He sat on the couch and held her close to him, her legs over his lap. Rubbing his hands in small circles, he whispered softly to her in words she couldn't understand. But it was soothing and she found her sobs slowing.

"Who is Davis?" He finally whispered as she pulled her face away from his now damp shoulder.

"He was a friend. A colleague."

"I'm sorry, Sara." Leaning close to her, he kissed her softly. "Does anyone else at work know?"

"No. I mean, he doesn't work there. I knew him from a past job." Sara closed her eyes and put her forehead on his shoulder again. How did she explain this to him? What was she willing to keep from him? _Nothing._ She shook her head into his shoulder. Lies had ruined her last relationship. She wasn't going to let it ruin this one too.

_But how do I tell him that? How do I tell him that Davis was killed because he was looking for information on the Saints? Information he wanted me to find?_ Lifting her head slightly, she bit back a gasp. _Fuck. Do they know Davis gave me the project?_

Sighing, she realized what Davis's death could mean. Raising her eyes, she saw that Connor was watching her closely, concerned. How did she even begin to tell him everything?_ Start at the beginning._

"Davis recruited me straight from SUNY to do investigative research for his firm. We became good friends, even though I only stayed there for six months."

"Why'd ye leave?" His question was quiet, prodding her to continue after she paused for a moment.

"It wasn't true journalism, Conn. It was on a fucking contract basis. And he got in with some bad clients." She felt his hands stop moving on her back and hurried to continue. "Yes, it was the Mafia. And that's why I left. It was no longer pure journalism. It'd become tainted."

"What about Davis?"

"What about him?"

He tucked a few stray hairs behind her ear. "Did he get out of it too?"

Pressing her lips together, Sara dropped her eyes and shook her head. "No."

"How did he die, Sara?"

"It was on the news this morning. They found him floating by the docks." She felt the lump grow in her throat again and laid her head back down on his chest.

"In fuckin' Boston?"

Her only answer was a slight nod.

"Was he in contact with ye, Sara? Before he died?"

She sighed. "Yeah, he stopped by my office yesterday."

"Fuck. What did he want?"

"To offer me a project. He keeps…kept trying to get me back to the job."

His hand gripped her chin lightly, forcing her to look up at him. "Is this the project that was botherin' ye?"

Keeping quiet, she simply lowered her eyes, unsure of how to answer.

"Did ye take the project? The fuckin' project that killed him?" He voice was still soft but she could hear the panic in it.

"No." The lie slipped out before she could stop it but she felt him relax at her words. _Fuck._

Looking back up at Connor, she saw that his lips were pursed and he was staring across the room. "It could still touch ye. Ye've got ta be careful, Sara."

"I am. I will be." She turned so that she was sitting next to him and leaned back against the couch. "They fucking killed him, Conn. Davis was the sweetest guy and they killed him."

Connor put his arm around her and she shifted her weight against him. "Why'd he choose ye?"

She smiled slightly. "Luck and connections. He knew my favorite professor and I broke a great story about a month before graduation."

"About what?" She could hear the smile in his voice.

"An underground student gambling society that bet on the school sports. Nearly half the roster was student-athletes." She grinned at the memory. It had been a story she had sought out on her own. One she had needed to undercover to get information on. Nobody second guessed her. The look on Davis's face as he had listened to her describe how she had done it had been priceless. _And now he's gone._ She pressed her lips together. "He also tried to help me find Katie."

"Sounds like he was a good man."

"He was." She thought of the image of a scowling Connor from the blurred photo. Davis had put it into her hands. He had been keeping track of her for years. Could he have known she was involved with Connor? Could he have known that giving her the folder that could save the lives of the Saints would cause his death? He had found her at work. Could he have known?

"Katie's right." Connor muttered near her ear and she looked up at him.

"What?" Sara tilted her head.

He moved his eyes to look at her. "I'm gonna teach ye how ta use a gun."

"Okay. I'm confused."

"Katie had a bad feeling. She suggested we teach ye how ta shoot."

Sara narrowed her eyes. "But Katie hates guns."

"Aye, but she's learned how ta use one. We talked her into it." He paused and studied her for a moment. "How do ye feel about guns?"

"Uh, don't really feel either way about them. I'm not afraid of them though, really."

"Good. That'll make it easier on both of us." He slipped his phone out of his pocket and then looked at her. "Oh, ye need ta call yer work. They were gettin' worried about ye when I was there nearly an hour ago."

"Fuck. I…" She trailed off and looked down at her hands, feeling the lump back in her throat. She had been frozen. Been stuck in her impending grief. Connor's hand warmed her back

"It's okay, Sara. They'll understand. Just let 'em know yer okay."

Nodding slowly, Sara moved to the table where her phone was. She grabbed it and turned to look at Connor. He had the phone up to his ear but nodded at her with a small smile.

"Call."

She found the number in her phone book and pressed send. As she brought it to her ear, she heard Connor start talking. His voice calmed her nerves as she listened to the ringing of the phone. She had been a mess and he hadn't left. She had been pathetic and sobbing and he was still here. Smiling, she lifted the phone to her ear as she heard Mags answer.

* * *

The ringing finally dragged Katie out of her deep sleep and she opened her eyes in confusion. Her phone was lighting up less than a foot away from her, the ring blasting out at top volume. Murphy stirred behind her and leaned up.

"What the fuck?" His hand was at her waist and she had to move away to reach the phone.

"Hello?"

"Katie?" Connor's voice made her sit up, her hand holding the sheet to her chest. Murphy sat up next to her and looked over with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey Conn." She sighed and felt Murphy lean into her. She elbowed him away. "What's up?"

"Next time ye have a feelin' I'm not fuckin' brushin' it aside." His voice was half serious, half teasing.

"What happened?"

"We're fine. I'll explain later. But how about we meet ye at the meat packin' plant at one?"

Katie nodded slowly and felt Murphy moving in closer again. She slid to sit on the edge of the bed, leaving his warmth and listening ears behind. "That'll work. Are you getting lunch beforehand?"

"Aye, I think we'll just grab somethin' here though."

"Did you bring-"

"I've got the guns. Don't worry. I wasn't gonna make ye carry 'em that far."

She laughed softly. Connor knew her too well. "Thanks."

"Have ye told Murph?"

"Nope."

"Is he tryin' ta listen in?"

"Yep." She laughed as she heard Murphy sigh behind her. "And he's not doing too good at it."

Connor's chuckle echoed slightly. "Good. Make 'im work for it."

"Oh, I will."

"I know ye will, Katie. That is one thing I never have doubted with ye." He laughed softly and Katie could hear Sara's voice in the background. "But we'll just meet ye there then."

"Okay, see you later, Connor."

"Bye Katie."

She hung up the phone and turned to see Murphy watching her expectantly.

"What?"

"What'd me brother want?"

"Hot sex tonight." She laughed as his jaw dropped slightly. His arms came around her, pulling her underneath him again.

"Then he'll have ta fuckin' get in line." He punctuated his words between kisses.

"You two really do share everything, don't you?" Katie kept laughing as his hands found the ticklish area at the base of her spin. "Murph. Murphy. Stop it!"

"Then tell me what he really said."

She grabbed his hands as they edged toward her lower back again. "We're going to meet them later."

"Where?"

"It's a fucking surprise, _darling._" Katie emphasized the last word and felt him laugh against her.

"Tell me or else."

"Nope. I won the bet. I get to plan what we do. Fair and square."

He stared down at her for a second before kissing her softly. "Why do I have a feelin' it's something fuckin' serious?"

"Because you practice voodoo in secret?"

"No, because I know you too well, m'dear."

Katie pressed her lips together. "Just wait and see, Murph. It'll be worth your time, I swear."

He smiled slowly. "I don't care where ye take me, Katie. It only matters that I'm with ye."

Putting her hand behind his head, Katie pulled him down to kiss her. Their heart beats slowed together and she felt herself relax again. "Let's take a nap."

"We just fuckin' woke up."

"We've got until one."

"Food?"

"It's overrated." She grinned as he raised an eyebrow.

"And sleep?"

"Can never get enough."

Murphy smiled slightly and moved to the side so that she could slide out from under him. His arm came around her and their bodies fit together perfectly. Yawning softly, Katie felt his breathing even out first. She fell back to sleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

Smecker stared down at the file in his hand, the words having blurred together several minutes ago. His head pounded and his mouth was dryer than an old pair of socks. Hangovers were a bitch but the fucking case at hand made this one nearly unbearable.

The knocking on his already opened door made his head snap up, ready to snarl. The blonde man who stood there wasn't immediately familiar.

"Can I help you?" He tried to take the bite out of his voice but by the weary look on the man's face, he knew he hadn't succeeded.

"Ah, you were at the bar last night, weren't you?" The man rested his hand on the doorknob and grinned. "Murphy didn't fucking tell me you were there."

"And you are?"

"Peter. Peter Shafer. And from what I've heard, you've been looking for me too."

Extending a hand out, Smecker found himself really smiling for the first time all morning. "Fuck. It's nice to finally meet you. Now I can see the resemblance."

Peter just laughed. "Yeah, it's only obvious when you look for it.

"So, what can I do for you? I thought you were on an assignment."

"Oh, I am." Peter's eyes shifted to the open door before returning to Smecker's face. "I want to help them out."

"How?"

"I can get you information."

"In exchange for what?"

"Knowing that it'll help keep my sister safe."

Smecker pursed his lips and nodded slowly. The man was offering to be an informant. Why was he hesitating? "You know what happened to Billy, right?"

"Yeah. I heard about it."

"And you know it could happen to you?"

"Sir, I know if I stay long enough, it will happen to me. I'm just hoping to get out before then."

Nodding slowly, Smecker pulled his cigarettes out and offered one to Peter who shook his head. He lit one and took a long drag before finally looking at him. "So, what do you have for me?"

"Well, to begin with." Peter paused and leaned forward. "They know about the car wreck. They know the Saints survived."

"Fuck." Smecker muttered and saw him nod in agreement.

"And they're planning on striking again soon."


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Temporarily unbetaed. :) Thanks so much for being patient. As I told a few of you, this was a very busy two weeks because it's good ole moving season. But I'm all settled in now and I should get back to my normal writing schedule! Thanks for all of the great reviews and for the support! **

One o'clock closed in on them before she knew it and Katie found herself attempting to lead Murphy to the old meat packing plant. It would be much easier to just ask him to take her there, but she wanted it to be a surprise. Wanted him to know that this was for him, not her. She wanted this to make up for her reckless behavior just a few days earlier.

But now they were lost. Fuck, she was lost and her heart was racing. Murphy, on the other hand, knew exactly where they were and was confused as to where she was trying to lead them.

"Where the fuck are we goin'?" He asked her for the third time in ten minutes. She pressed her lips together and raised an eyebrow at him.

"And what makes you think I'm going to tell you now?" Squinting, she glanced around them again and wished she'd paid attention the last time they'd gone. But she'd been a bundle of nerves then. Those nerves were still there, hiding beneath her forced calm surface; but this time, she had a hold on them. This time, she knew she could do it.

Murphy put his hand on her shoulder, stopping her. "If ye gimme a hint as ta where we're goin', I can point ye in the right direction."

"I want it to be a surprise."

"It can still be one. But we have ta get there for it ta be a surprise." He smirked at her as she sighed in frustration.

"But I don't know how to tell you without just telling you."

"Than just fuckin' tell me."

"Murph." She eyed him again and then smiled. "Maybe I'll just call Connor. He can direct me."

"Christ. Are ye fuckin' dependent on me brother?"

"Jealous?" She pulled out her phone and laughed as he tried to pull it away from her.

"Of Connor? Fuckin' hardly."

"Then why don't you want me to call him?"

"Because, _I_ want ta help ye." He took advantage of her frowning at him to grab her phone from her hand. Stuffing it into his coat pocket, he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Murph…" She stopped as she stared off into the distance and grinned suddenly. Grabbing his hand, she started pulling him down the street. "Nevermind. I know where we are."

She recognized the graffiti on the alley wall and the mental landmarks all fell into place. Within five minutes they were less than a block away from the twins' old work place. Murphy kept glancing down at her as they neared the building, a confused look on his face.

"What the fuck are we doin' here?"

"Where did you think we were going?"

"Fuckin' ice skating. I don't know."

Katie laughed despite the nerves twisting in her stomach. Now that they were here, she couldn't hide from them anymore. Something must have shown in her face because he slipped his arm around her.

"Are we here for what I think we're here for?"

She just nodded slowly and watched the surprise flicker across his face. "Ye don't have ta do this, Katie. Not for me."

Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders. "Yes, I do, Murph. I have to do it for both of us. Besides, I should be an old pro by now."

He ran a hand over her hair and kissed her gently, his lips then brushing over her temple. "Thank you."

"We'll both feel better once this is done." She just smiled as he stared down at her, watching her. "Let's go in. Connor and Sara are probably waiting inside."

"Sara's here too?"

"Yup. That's part of the reason I set it up with Connor. She needs to learn too."

Murphy frowned slightly before moving his head in agreement. "Ye're probably right. I keep forgettin' this could touch her too."

"It already has touched her. Long before she met you two."

"What do ye mean?"

Katie tilted her head up at him. "Well, first off, she knew Brett. She was around when it began to really affect my life and Peter's life. And I know she tried to find me after I moved to New York. Had a guy named David or Davis, I can't remember the name exactly, looking for me. Fuck, he nearly found me once."

"Couldn't that have risked yer fuckin' exposure?"

"What exposure? Sure, I went by Donna, but that was only to try to distance my connection with my parents. And with Brett. But even if they'd found out, I don't think it would have been the end of me. Everyone has a past in the mob. Even smart, sweet and innocent looking bookkeepers." She smiled slowly. Murphy just laughed

"They fell for that?"

"You didn't?" She raised her eyebrows at him.

"Sweet, yes. Innocent, not a chance. Ye've got more tricks up yer fuckin' sleeve than anyone I know." He squeezed her shoulder and steered her toward the entrance.

"This coming from the man who can drop his accent with ease." She grinned up at him, concentrating on him. She could do this. She could face this now. Murphy was beside her.

"That coming from the woman who passed as a fuckin' hooker with ease." He winced as she elbowed him but pushed her through the door into the cold air inside.

* * *

Connor heard the laughter getting louder and he exchanged an amused glance with Sara. She sat a few feet away with her coat wrapped tightly around her.

"So why are we in here again?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"It's our own personal fuckin' shootin' range." Murphy's voice echoed through the doorway as a response. Sara turned toward him and smiled slightly.

"Ah, so the Saints have their own shooting range? And it's a meat packing plant. Why doesn't this surprise me?"

"Somethin' tells me that very fuckin' little surprises ye anymore." Connor leaned closer to her, grinning as his eyes roamed her face. He could still see the pain there as well as the grief. But she managed to hide it well, despite the fact that she was around them and shouldn't feel the need to hide anything. He wasn't sure if that meant that she didn't trust them. Or maybe that she didn't trust herself.

Connor reached beneath his coat and pulled the two guns out of the holster. He saw that Murphy's eyes were on Katie as well as they both watched her flinch. Hands steady, Connor handed one to his brother without speaking.

"Wow, guns from the personal collection of the Saints. These could be worth a lot of money someday." Sara forced a smile as she reached out to take the other from his hand. He held it tighter and chuckled softly.

"Whoa now. Lesson one, never grab the fuckin' gun from the muzzle end."

Sara's hand pulled away and she looked up at him surprised.

"She's a fuckin' newbie." Murphy grinned at Connor.

"Aye, and it'll be up ta us ta teach her right."

"Actually." Katie spoke up and Connor couldn't help but notice that her eyes were landing on everything that wasn't a gun. "Connor, wanna help me target better? Murph can get her started on the basics. I have a feeling she'll be a quicker learner than me."

The question caught them both off guard and Connor exchanged a confused glance with Murphy. "Why don't ye let Murph help ye? I'll take care o' Sara."

"I thought you said you were a better aim than he is."

Connor narrowed his eyes at her, hearing Murphy laugh softly next to him. Since he'd never said anything of the sort, he could only figure that she wanted to talk to him. Shaking his head slowly, he shrugged. "Fine by me. Okay with ye, Sara? If Murph helps ye instead?"

"Sure." She offered a smile to Murphy who was still glancing between Katie and Connor, looking rather confused.

It was only after Connor had talked Katie through the initial nerves of holding the gun again that she finally spoke up. "She okay, Conn?" Her voice was quiet but he looked behind him to make sure no one else had heard the question.

"Well…" He paused and leaned slightly closer to her, acting as if he was directing her in aiming. "I think she'll be fine. But a fuckin' friend o' hers was found floating near the docks this mornin'."

Katie's eyes widened and she glanced over his shoulder at Sara, who was laughing softly with Murphy, oblivious to their attention. "Fuck, poor Sara. Who was it?"

"An old colleague, I guess. He was fuckin' killed here, Katie." The words slipped out before he could stop himself. He hadn't meant to tell her yet; he'd meant to talk to Murphy first.

"Here? By _our_ mafia?"

Pursing his lips, he nodded slowly. "Aye."

"Not a fucking coincidence, is it?" She raised her eyes back to him and he could see fresh fear in her eyes.

"Not fuckin' likely."

"You know that bad feeling I had this morning, Connor?"

He frowned at her. "Yeah."

"It's getting worse."

"Ye're not fuckin' alone there." He put his hand under her gun hand, raising it back up to point at the target. "But we've got ta take one moment at a time. And in this moment, you need to hit the fuckin' middle of that meat."

Katie smiled slowly and nodded, turning her eyes back to the hanging meat near the wall. Connor watched her take a few deep breaths and knew she was trying to work past the nerves. Her finger steadied on the trigger.

"Wait." Connor breathed quickly and her eyes flickered up to him before she smiled again.

"Safety." She laughed softly. With newly gained skill, she flipped the safety off and pulled the trigger smoothly.

Connor grinned at the hole now directly in the center of the piece of meat. He heard Murphy laugh behind him.

"Christ, Katie." He shook his head down at her. "I don't think ye need fuckin' help with this. Ye're a fuckin' natural shooter."

"Gee, just what I've always wanted to be."

"Yeah, seems like a real fuckin' Katie type o' dream." Connor just kept smiling as she lined up another shot, the nerves seeming to have left her for the moment.

* * *

Murphy nodded slowly at Sara whose steady hands now pointed her gun at the hanging meat. He reached out and adjusted her grip slightly. "Good. Now try ta sight the meat."

"Sight the meat?"

"Get it between the two metal ridges here, remember?" He pointed to the top of the gun and she just laughed softly.

"I know, Murph. It just sounds weird to be told to 'sight the meat'." She shot a grin at him before closing one eye and focusing across the room.

He just shook his head with a smile and crossed his arms over his chest as he watched her. She turned out to be a pretty good student and was catching on pretty quickly. Which made it easier to for him to keep an eye on Katie.

There must have been a reason she wanted Connor over there, that's all he could figure out. His brother wasn't necessarily a better aim than him. And he doubted that Katie even cared either way, knowing that she'd rather not learn how to shoot if she really had the option.

So what was the reason? His ears had picked up Sara's name at least once, but Sara hadn't noticed. Murphy kept watching her as she raised her eyes to his.

"So do I get to shoot now?"

He grinned slowly, seeing humor in her eagerness. This was definitely different from teaching Katie. "Sure. Know how ta load it?"

"Can't be too hard. This is just a six shooter, right?"

"Aye." He shook his head slowly. "If ye knew so much about guns than why haven't ye shot one before?"

Her eyes were on the barrel as she loaded the bullets, but she grinned again. "My dad collects antique pistols. I used to play with them when I was little."

"That explains a lot."

"Shut up, Murphy." Her laugh was quiet as she clicked the barrel shut. "Can I aim now?"

"Christ." He chuckled. "Shoot away."

She had the safety off and had already fired three shots before he could give her any further instruction. Murphy let out a few laughs as they both squinted down at the still moving piece of meat. He glanced at Sara and saw she was grinning too.

"Well, ye hit it, but…" He laughed again. Three small holes were widely spaced across the meat, none of them even close to centered.

"Okay, so I'm not John Wayne. Yet." Raising the gun, she fired the last three shots before he could say anything else.

"Christ! Connor, yer girlfriend is fuckin' nuts." Murphy glanced behind him, shaking his head with a grin. Connor had started towards them and simply shrugged.

"Ye think I don't already know?" He winked at Sara. "But the important thing is, is she a good shot?" He eyed the meat target and laughed. "Huh, I guess ye can't be perfect."

She swatted her hand on him and he held her wrist to stop her. Glancing at Murphy, he kept out of the range of her other arm. "Katie's ready for the rest of her lesson."

"What?" Murphy pulled his eyes away from the meat. He frowned at his brother. What was the rest of her lesson?

"The rest of her lesson, Murph." Connor stared at him for a second before nodding toward the targets. It hit Murphy what he was getting at. Katie may be able to shoot old meat, but could she aim a gun at a person?

Nodding slowly, Murphy chewed on the edge of his thumb as he turned toward Katie. She watched him with a raised eyebrow, the gun held unnaturally far away from her body. He doubted she even realized that she was trying to get the gun as far away as possible even while it was still in her hands.

"What, did Conn give up on teaching me?" She forced a smile. Murphy couldn't get himself to give her one in return.

He wished this was different. He wished that they could just let her live in her own private world of nearly conquered fear without needing to finish this. He wished it wasn't so necessary for her to need to be able to shoot someone.

But the reality was that she needed to learn. He needed her to learn. The images of his nightmare swam through his head and he squeezed his eyes tightly shut for a moment. _Christ, I need her to learn._

Katie's eyes were on him as he opened them again and he knew that she was able to read his tension immediately. She stepped forward slightly, her own fear forgotten momentarily as she watched him carefully.

"Murph?" Her voice held the question neither of them wanted her to ask. _Are you okay, Murphy?_ _Fuck, no I'm not okay. But I have ta be fuckin' okay. I have to be okay so that ye'll be able to do this._ He responded only by tucking a few stray hairs behind her ear as he eased the gun from her hand.

She jumped at the click of the barrel, but Murphy kept his eyes on the gun. She'd fired all of her shots. He knew that Connor would have made sure of that, but double checking was always necessary. Especially with what he was about to do.

Handing the gun back to her, her eyes widened as he stepped forward slightly. Her hands shook as she shifted the gun to her left hand, to the side furthest away from him. He ignored the thumping of his heart as he glanced at her. Shifting her eyes away, she pressed her lips together and stared at the other side of the room.

A hand landed on his shoulder, as Murphy turned to walk out in front of the target. "I'll go. She won't be able ta aim at ye, Murph." Connor's voice was next to his ear. The hand squeezed slightly and Murphy felt Connor move away.

Giving an unnecessary nod, he moved to stand next to her again. "Ye okay?"

"I can't do this."

"Yes, ye can do this."

"Fuck. No."

Murphy raised his eyes to where Connor stood nearly fifty feet away, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes on them. Connor had been right. She wouldn't have been able to point a gun at him. Even an unloaded gun. But Murphy wasn't sure she could point one at Connor either.

"He traded places with you, didn't he?" She raised her eyes to his. He had to force himself not to put his arms around her. Not to take her far away from this.

"Aye, he did."

"Christ, Murph." Raising a shaky hand to her forehead, she rubbed her palm over her temple. "What makes him so much different? So much different that the two of you think I can point a fucking gun at him?"

"The gun isn't loaded. Check yerself if it'll make ye feel better."

"I'm afraid my fucking fear doesn't specify loaded or unloaded guns." Biting her lip, she moved her gaze out to Connor who gave her an encouraging smile and nod.

"Ye can do it, Katie. Point the fucker at me."

She just stared at him, and Murphy noticed the rhythmic clenching and unclenching of her right hand. She was trying to work up the courage. He wished they could wait. Wait for her to ease into this. Wait for her to be ready. But as she had reminded him, they didn't have weeks.

He didn't want to force her to do this. But he had to. So, he took the only sure step and hoped she wouldn't hate him for it.

"Do it for me, Katie." His voice sounded slightly demanding to his own ears and the sick feeling returned to his stomach. _Her eyes were on his as he struggled to make the choice. To make the choice between his twin and his love._ Swallowing hard, Murphy pushed the image away, hoping that it didn't show in his eyes.

If she noticed, she didn't show it, only pressing her lips together and nodding slowly. "For you." She bit off the words and clenched her hand one last time before bringing them together on the gun, aiming at the ground in front of them.

Murphy wanted to give her encouraging words, but his mind had slowed, his eyes stuck on her face. On the fear there and on the pain hiding around the edges. He felt warmth behind him and glanced to see Sara stepping closer, her eyes on Katie as well.

"You can do this, Katie." Her voice was soft and Katie made no sign of hearing her. But Sara didn't seem to take that as discouragement. "Remember that Physics professor we had sophomore year? That asshole who used you as an example of a scientifically-challenged person? Pretend Connor is him."

The corner of Katie's mouth lifted slightly and she let out a shaky breath. "I hated that prof."

Murphy found himself holding a breath in as she raised the gun to point at Connor. Connor's eyes shifted to him and they exchanged a surprised glance. It was working. Katie's hands steadied and she smiled a little more.

"I'm doing it."

"Now pull the trigger." Murphy spoke softly and stepped closer to her. His hands were ready beneath hers as she went to lower her arms. Her eyes met his and she shook her head.

"That wasn't part of the deal."

"But it's part o' bein' able ta shoot someone."

"I can't do this, Murph." Her voice had begun to shake. Murphy moved one hand away from supporting hers and ran the back of his finger down her cheek.

"Ye can, a Ghrà, ye can."

Blinking her eyes shut for a moment, she opened them and stared at him for a moment. He noticed that she seemed to do this when she was most afraid. As if she was trying to draw strength from him. Or as if she was waiting for him to save her.

Finally, she nodded slowly and the cold air hit Murphy's hand as she raised the gun up again. Her eyes found Connor's and Murphy was finally able to pull his gaze away from her face. Glancing down, he smiled slightly as he saw the Connor was making a face.

"Just pretend I'm Tommy." He set his hands on his hips and scowled. "My name is Tommy and I'm a fuckin' real Irish wannabe prick."

Katie let out a choked laugh. "I think he is a bit jealous of you two."

"Who wouldn't be?" Connor grinned widely as his voice echoed throughout the room. "Pull the trigger, Katie. Shoot the fuckin' Irish wannabe prick."

Murphy grinned finally when his brother through his arms out wide and attempted to imitate a riverdance. Sara's laughter joined his own chuckles.

"I thought _you_ were the riverdancer in the family." She muttered.

"Well, we do share everything. Even bad dancing skills." Murphy glanced at Katie, whose finger was whispering over the trigger. His heart skipped a beat as he realized she was getting ready to pull it.

"I didn't know hitting a moving target was part of the plan." She kept her eyes on the still dancing Connor. Murphy chuckled again.

"It's simply a part o' Connor."

Her hands jolted slightly and her finger left its floating position over the trigger.

"I can't pull the trigger at Conn." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Ye can do this."

"Professor Marks. Wasn't that his name, Katie?" Sara's voice was louder, making Katie glance past Murphy at her. Smiling slightly, she nodded. Murphy heard Sara laugh softly. "Don't tell me you can't pull the trigger at him."

Moving her eyes back to Connor, Katie's hands stilled as she took a deep breath. Murphy kept his encouraging words silent, afraid to knock her off her careful balance of nerves again.Her finger fluttered slightly over the trigger and he saw her swallow hard. The click echoed across the room as she yanked her finger back. They were all silent for a moment.

Finally, Connor let out a whoop and hurried toward Katie, his arms open wide. But as he neared her, she pushed him away and turned, tossing the gun to the side. Her hand shook as it covered her mouth and Murphy stepped toward her quickly. She held her arm out again, keeping him away as well.

"Katie."

Shaking her head, she took a trembling breath. "I thought I'd feel better if I just did it."

"Ye okay?" He kept his voice soft and stepped slightly closer.

"I thought I'd feel better, but I don't. I feel sick inside."

Sara stepped toward Katie from the other side and was able to put her hand on her shoulder without Katie pulling away. "Why do you feel sick?" Her question was calm.

Katie choked out a half sob, half laugh. "Because now I'm capable of the same thing they did."

_They._ Murphy bit back a sigh at the surge of anger. _They._ The hands that shot her parents. The hands that still mocked her in her nightmares.

He stepped in front of her, cupping the back of her neck with one hand and tilting her chin up slightly with the other. She raised her eyes to meet his. "Ye're not them, Katie. Ye'd never shoot an innocent."

"Ye may be capable, Katie. But ye're nothin' like the bastards who did that." _Who shot yer parents._ Connor left the words unsaid and Murphy met his stare. "Having the ability doesn't mean ye have ta use it."

The shrill ring of a cell phone cut off Katie's reply. Connor lifted the phone out of his pocket and answered, turning slightly away.

Murphy took advantage of the moment of silence and pulled Katie into an embrace. He rested his chin on top of her head and smiled as her arms went around him. "I'm proud of ye, Katie." He whispered next to her ear and felt her sigh against him.

"Thanks. Now can we get out of here?"

He laughed softly and felt her smile against his chest. "Sure."

Keeping his arm around her, he pulled away and saw Connor tapping the antenna of the phone against his lips. Their eyes meet and he knew something was wrong. But Connor played it cool as he forced a smile.

"That was Smecker. Seems he'd like ta fuckin' speak with us down at the precinct."

"What the fuck did we do this time?" Murphy played along as the icy feeling slipped through his insides.

"Who fuckin' knows? Maybe it's about the fuckin' car."

He could feel Katie's eyes on him but Murphy forced himself to clear his expression before smiling down at her. "Will it ruin yer plans if we meet ye back at the apartment?"

"I can just come to the precinct with you."

"Ah, why don't ye just stick with Sara?" Connor stepped in and Murphy watched as Katie nodded slowly, understanding something his brother wasn't saying.

"Okay. But if it's anything important, you'll tell me, right?"

"You'll tell _us_, right?" Sara spoke up. Connor's eyes floated past Murphy to look at her. He nodded slowly.

"We'll keep ye both informed."

"We've learned the hard way not to hide anything." Murphy winced when Katie elbowed him again. "Watch the fuckin' ribs, Katie." He stepped away from her. Her lips parted as she stared up at him.

"I'm sorry, Murph. You okay?"

_Successful distraction._ He rubbed his hand gingerly over his ribs. "Yeah, I'm fine." He smiled then, seeing the worry on her face. "I'm fine, Katie."

She stepped up on her tiptoes and kissed him softly. "We'll see you at the apartment. I'm starting to feel frozen."

"Fuck, I thought I was the only wuss here." Sara grinned at the two of them as she moved to Connor. They hugged and Murphy noticed that Connor was holding her tightly. His brother was worried. _What the fuck did Smecker tell him? _

Sara put her arm over Katie's shoulders; her boots making her appear even taller than Katie then before. Both girls glanced back at them.

"See you boys later." Sara grinned but Murphy noticed her eyes weren't smiling. Instead, she focused on Connor for a moment before turning around. Katie nodded at them both and let Sara pull her out of the room without another word.

They waited a few seconds after the door closed to look at each other again. The stress was now clear on Connor's face. Murphy frowned and stepped closer. "What the fuck did Smecker tell ye?"

"We're ta meet him and Da at the station in twenty minutes."

"Aye, but what else?"

"Smecker spat out some shite about them findin' the fuckin' car. Said Peter visited him this mornin'."

"And?"

"And they fuckin' know we're alive, Murph. And they don't plan on fuckin' keepin' us that way."

"Fuck."

"Yeah, fuck. Smecker also said somethin' about them havin' a fuckin' informant or somethin'. They're getting' inside information way too fuckin' easily." Connor pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one before handing the pack and lighter to Murphy.

Murphy took a drag before saying anything. "Who do ye think it is?"

"Fuck, I don't know. But we've got ta fuckin' watch what we're sayin' 'round people." Connor blew smoke out slowly before scowling down at his cigarette. "Katie's right. And now I've got a fuckin' bad feelin' too. Too many fuckin' coincidences."

"What else happened?" Murphy frowned over at him, confused. Connor ran his thumb along the bottom of his lip slowly before glancing over at him.

"A friend of Sara's was killed last night. He had connections with the mafia."

"Fuck, is she okay? I mean, she seemed distracted…but fuck, I didn't think…" Murphy shook his head slowly and brought his cigarette to his lips. Inhaling, he thought about her behavior and realized he didn't know her well enough yet to know when she was acting differently.

"I found her at her apartment after searching for over an hour. Fuckin' scared me. Even more so when she answered the door, cryin' her fuckin' eyes out. This guy was a close friend of hers at one point. And he was killed here, in fuckin' Boston, Murph. Probably less than a mile from where we fuckin' stand."

Murphy knew there was more to the story and waited for his brother to continue. But they both finished their cigarettes in silence, crushing them to the frozen cement floor at the same time. He'd get the rest out of him later. There were times when Connor just didn't want to talk. Wanted to process his information. But Murphy could wait. He could wait because he knew that those times were always followed by an outpouring of everything soon after. He just hoped the information would come from his brother sooner rather than later. As he'd been reminded, they don't have weeks to work with here.

Stooping down, Connor lifted the gun off of the ground where Katie had thrown it. Slipping it into the holster underneath his coat, he nodded toward the door. "Let's go see what else Smecker had ta tell us."

Nodding slowly, Murphy followed his brother out of the building. And for once, they walked in complete silence.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: A short chapter (only two scenes worth) and it's kind of just moving things along to the next chapter. Just think of it as the calm before the storm. :) But I wanted to get this up tonight, as I won't be able to sit down and start chapter 30 until Sunday. And I wanted to prove that I was actually back to posting at near-normal crazy pace. Wow...chapter 30 already...time flies when you're playing with the lives of the Saints. :) **

Katie relaxed against the couch as she watched Sara pace the length of the living room. The room was silent save the sound of Sara's boots clicking steadily across the hardwood floor. After a few more minutes, Katie sat up fully and sighed.

"You okay, Sar?"

"Fine. Fucking peachy."

"Want to talk about it?"

"What's the point?"

Katie got to her feet and moved to block Sara's path, crossing her arms over her chest. She looked at her friend closely but couldn't read her shifting eyes. "What's going on, Sara?"

"Nothing."

"Sara."

"Fuck, Katie. You all keep me in the fucking dark here. And I doubt I'll fucking even find out what's going on at the precinct unless I force it out of Connor later tonight."

"Whoa, hold on here. Keep you in the dark?"

"Yeah, Katie." Sara's eyes moved to her face and Katie was surprised to see the pain there. "_You_ most of all keep me in the dark. _You _are the one keeping things from me."

"Like what?"

"Like Peter being fucking undercover. And like you playing the hooker role the other night. I had to find that shit out from Connor. From Connor! You left from my apartment to risk your ass and sneak back in without a fucking word to me about it."

Raising her hands in front of her, Katie sighed. "I'm sorry. I should have told you-"

"Damn fucking right you should have. I'm your fucking best friend, Katie. Believe it or not, I actually give a rat's ass what happens to you. And you're supposed to tell me everything important. Like you used to."

"And have you look at me like I'm a freak? Like I'm looking for fucking trouble?"

"When have I done that?" Sara's jaw dropped slightly. "When have I ever fucking reacted like that?"

Katie swallowed hard, fighting the wave of emotions that came from nowhere. "Every fucking time I mentioned Brett's name in college. And after he died it got worse. You gave me that look when I left for New York. Like you didn't understand why I'd waste my time on something as stupid as that. Like you didn't understand me anymore." Her voice trailed off into a whisper and she kept her eyes on the wall behind Sara. She heard Sara shift in the silent moment before answering.

"You didn't give me a chance to understand you. You took off. Left me behind. And you're still fucking leaving me behind, Katie. Don't you understand that? Don't you understand that I'm still looking for you? Still trying to find you?" Sara's words grew shakier and she stopped speaking.

"I'm right here, Sara. You did find me. And I knew you tried to find me before. That friend of yours." Katie sniffed and raised her eyes to Sara, who was watching her closely. "David? He nearly found me about six months after I left."

"Davis. He's dead." Sara choked on the words and Katie watched as the tears welled up in her friend's eyes. She hadn't seen Sara cry for years. Not since Greg left. Stepping forward, she pulled Sara into her arms and found tears forming in her own eyes as her friend sobbed into her shoulder.

"I know he is, Rosie, I know." She ran a hand down Sara's long blonde hair and fought the lump in her throat. Sara clung to her even as her sobs ended. And Katie found herself not wanting to let go. "I'm so sorry I left."

"I knew you had to." Sara pulled away from her, staring down at her through fresh tears in her eyes. "But you never even tried to explain. You shut everyone else out. And you are still doing it, Katie."

Lowering her eyes, Katie crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged. She didn't know how to respond. She knew she had closed herself off after Brett's death. To survive, she had to. Facing her own pain was too much, much less anyone else's. Anger had become her chosen output. Anger and revenge.

But she'd opened back up again, hadn't she? She hadn't really shut everyone out again, had she? Even Murphy? Breathing in slowly, she closed her eyes. _How am I still doing it if I don't even know I'm doing it?_

"But I'm doing it, too." The whisper of Sara's voice made her look up and she saw a few tears slide into wet trails down her cheeks.

"What are you talking about, Sara?"

"Davis gave…he gave me a file. A project to work on." She let out a shaky breath and swiped the tears away from her face. "It's on the fucking Saints, Katie. He wanted me to get information about them to the mafia."

"What?" Katie's eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat. Was she serious? A file on the Saints? "What do you mean a project?"

"I did investigative reporting for awhile. We did projects for buying clients."

"And you were going to sell information about the Saints?" Katie's voice grew louder and she stared at Sara. How could she do this? "Is this why…Connor?" The not quite formed accusation hung in the air and Sara shook her head quickly, taking another shaky breath.

"No, Katie. It's nothing like that. Davis just approached me about this yesterday."

"And yet you still took it?" Katie brought her hand to her mouth and chewed on the side of her thumb for a second before she realized what she was doing. _Christ, now I'm picking up Murphy's fucking bad habits._

"I took it because I had to. Davis gave me the file. Which means it's not the only copy."

"So…if you don't do it, someone else will?"

Sara sighed. "Yes. Maybe. I don't know really. If Davis was still alive, yes." Her voice broke slightly. "But he's not and I don't know who will take over. But it's not worth the chance, Kat."

"Have you told anyone else about this?" Katie watched Sara pause only slightly before shaking her head. Taking her hand, she led Sara to the table and got her to sit down before moving to the fridge. Grabbing two Pepsis, she set one in front of Sara and sat across from her. They were both silent.

Playing with the tab on her now open can, Katie allowed the information to sink in. The mafia wanted information on the Saints. Were willing to hire out for the information. She gripped the can tighter. _They know they are alive._ Raising a hand to her mouth, she glanced up at Sara, who nodded slowly.

"It took me a little longer to get there." She offered a half smile. "You've always been a faster thinker."

"They know they are alive." Even saying the words out loud seemed to give them power. Enough power to send fear crawling up her spine. Getting up from the table, Katie grabbed her phone from her coat pocket and sat back down across from Sara. "We need to warn them."

"Wait." Sara reached out and put her hand over the phone. Katie looked up at her in surprise. What the fuck was she doing? They needed to make sure the boys and Da were prepared.

"Why?"

"Think about it, Katie. They are already vigilant enough. And I have a feeling Smecker is going to tell them the same thing we already know."

"So why not just tell them?" She knew her voice had gotten louder, but Katie didn't care.

"Calm down."

"Don't tell me to fucking calm down, Sara. You've just given me information that is vital to their survival."

"Information they probably already suspect. Neither Connor nor Murphy is stupid. And Da's been on his own long enough to know better. They survived this long without our intervention." Sara's voice was soothing. Katie just shook her head and pulled the phone out from under Sara's hand.

"I'm calling them." She lifted the phone up, but Sara grabbed her hand again.

"No. Katie, don't you see? This is something we can do to help them."

Lifting her eyes back to Sara's face, Katie frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Just because I have the file doesn't mean I have to give the truth. We can feed them misinformation. We can stall for time. We have the control here."

"The guys will never let us do that. Especially Connor. It's putting your ass at risk."

Sara pressed her lips together for a moment and brought her hands back to cross over her chest. "Who says we have to tell them? Katie, now I understand your need to do something. To not just sit here. And this is something that we can do. Something that will buy them time to make their own move." She leaned forward and put her elbows on the table. Katie could feel her intense gaze, despite the fact that she was staring down at her hands.

She'd promised Murphy she wouldn't do anything. Fuck, she promised Smecker she wouldn't do anything. _But this will help keep them safe._ Could she lie to Murphy to protect him? Would he forgive her if he found out?

"Katie, I'll leave it up to you. But I know we can do this. Together. _We_ can keep them safe, instead of them just keeping us safe." Sara sighed lightly and Katie closed her eyes against the humming of her blood as her heart began to race.

She could do something. Something besides worrying and nagging. Something that didn't involve hooker stunts and angering Murphy. And she wouldn't have to do it alone. Christ, she was tired of going it alone and hiding it from everybody. Hiding that part of herself from everybody else in her life.

Raising her eyes back to Sara, Katie swallowed another drink of her Pepsi and met her friend's gaze evenly. Christ, they could do this. And if they did, the Saints might just survive.

Katie lowered her cell phone to the table and slid it out to the middle. Pressing her palms against the roughly grained wood, she took a deep breath. "So, what exactly are you planning?"

Sara just smiled slightly and leaned forward even more. "How does a wild goose chase sound?"

* * *

Connor shut the door to Smecker's office and took a seat on the other side of Da. The room was silent for a moment as Smecker leaned back in his chair and sighed heavily.

"As I mentioned to you, Peter Shafer was here earlier. I tried to get him to stick around, but it's probably best you aren't seen with him anymore than you have to be." His voice was quiet and edgy, and Connor wondered just how much more information could be coming

"What's goin' on, Smecker?" Da asked, his question echoing through the office.

"They're trying to find more information on you. They know you are alive."

"And ye think they've got a fuckin' mole?" Connor tapped his fist against his mouth. Smecker nodded.

"Yeah. They know you are alive and back here in Boston. They were supposed to think you had moved on. So yeah, I'd say there's someone giving them information."

"Maybe we weren't fuckin' believable enough. I mean, we did leave Katie and Sara behind." Murphy lit a cigarette from his pack before passing it to Da who immediately handed it over to Connor.

"Do they know about Sara?" Connor frowned, staring at Smecker who simply shrugged.

"I don't really know, Connor. And Peter didn't have anything specific. They haven't trusted him enough yet."

"He gonna be yer new informant?"

"Yeah, Murph. Thanks for giving out my name to strangers." Smecker offered him a small smile and got a half laugh in return.

"If Katie's fuckin' brother counts as a stranger."

"How can we find out what they fuckin' know?" Connor cut Murphy's further comment off, leaning forward. He took a drag as Smecker glanced back at him.

"We have no reason to believe that there is any threat against Sara. She's in no way connected with the mob-"

"Yes she is. Her old boss ran information for the mafia. His body was found floating by the docks this morning." Connor spoke calmly despite the growing nerves in his gut. The silence of the room made it clear he wasn't the only one who saw the connections.

Both Murphy and Da were looking over at him and Connor met their gazes one by one. He held Murphy's the longest and his brother finally nodded slightly before turning back to Smecker. The message from Murphy was clear to Connor. _We'll do what we have ta do ta keep her safe._

Connor turned back to an intrigued Smecker, his heart feeling slightly lighter. Of course he knew Murphy would be behind him, but to have his obvious support made things easier.

"Well Pat, it's your turn to get a girlfriend who had issues with the mob to round out this bunch." Smecker finally spoke quietly before grinning. "Christ, and I thought Murphy was the frickin' problem brother."

"What one has, the other has ta get." Da smiled slightly as both twins exchanged half grins.

"Aye, it was a fuckin' plan ta make yer life difficult. Not ta mention make our own fuckin' lives more interestin'."

"And since when is Murph the problem brother?"

"Don't tell me you're gonna frickin' compete for that now?" Leaning back in his chair, Smecker laced his hands behind his head. His gaze fell on Connor and his expression grew more serious. "So what is Sara's involvement with the mafia herself?"

Rolling the cigarette between his fingertips, Connor pursed his lips. It was a question he wasn't sure how to answer himself. It seemed that just when he thought he knew her, she stepped up to the next funhouse mirror and appeared to be completely different. When was he going to know the real her?

"Ta be honest, I don't know. Davis tried ta contact her several times since she quit. His involvement with the mafia began about the time that she quit."

"Did she know about it or have anything to do with it?"

Connor nodded at Smecker's question. "Aye, she fuckin' knew about it. That's why she quit. So she didn't have ta be involved."

"What did he try ta contact her about this time?" Da's voice was quiet. His intense gaze surprised Connor more than his words did. He knew Da would make the connections fast. Faster than even he did.

"I don't fuckin' know fer sure yet. I know he wanted her ta take a project."

"One that was connected with the mob?" Smecker leaned forward slightly but Connor just shrugged in response. He really didn't know. But he knew it was something he needed to figure out. "Did she take the project, Connor?"

"No. But I think somethin' was still fuckin' botherin' her about it last night."

"Think ye could figure out what it was about?" Murphy peered at him through the smoke he'd just exhaled. Connor nodded slowly.

"I fuckin' intend ta do just that."

He took another drag of his cigarette and breathed out slowly, his mind working a bit faster than it had earlier. The project that was bothering Sara had gotten Davis killed. It was fucking mob connected and there was a reason he came all the way to Boston to get her to take it. Something didn't seem right and Connor couldn't help but to wonder if there was just some simple answer he wasn't quite seeing here.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Getting closer to normal update time! Woo hoo! And don't worry, I do plan to update again very soon. :):)   
**

"Sara, I can't do this." Katie put her face in her hands, keeping her eyes on Sara.

"Can't do what?"

"I'm not the writer here, you are. I can't just make up shit for this."

Sara smiled slightly and let out a small sigh of relief. She thought Katie was having second thoughts. Fuck, she'd been having second thoughts off and on for the last hour. _Can we even pull this off?_ She didn't know the answer to that question, but she was beginning to realize that it didn't matter. They needed to do this.

"And you have the psychologist training." Tapping her pen against the table, Sara grinned at her. Katie rolled her eyes.

"Yes, so I can tell you all about the id, superego and ego. That does a lot of fucking good."

"Are you telling me you know nothing about profiling? We need to create a believable trio of people who could pass as the Saints."

"You can make up the characters. Isn't that what you writers do?" Katie smiled and this time Sara rolled her eyes.

"Fuck, Katie. I'm a journalist. Not a fucking author here. I tell the truth. I need your screwed up mind to help me create a believable lie."

"Ha ha. Gee thanks."

"Are you ready to help me now? Or shall we continue in our counter-productive arguments?"

"I kinda like our counter-productive arguments." Katie drained the last of her Pepsi and started the second level of their can pyramid. "But, the guys will probably be home soon. So stop screwing around so we can get to work." She capped off the sentence with a wide grin.

Sara just sent her a short glare before giving into a sigh. "Let's figure out the basics here. Then we can fill out the other details tomorrow sometime at my apartment."

"Yeah, having the file might help us a little. Do you remember what they do know about them?"

Tapping her finger slowly, Sara pictured the file. Her memory wasn't quite photographic, but it was close. _The picture was toward the top, second page. The first page was Davis's specific details of what the buyer wanted us to find._ Closing her eyes, Sara answered, her voice quiet. "They have a blurry picture of them. And a list of their supposed 'crimes'. Not much else though."

"How did they get a picture?" Katie's voice was just above a murmur and her eyes were on the sunlight drifting in through the kitchen window.

"It's from the courtroom thing. Someone snuck a picture without them looking."

"A journalist?"

Sara shook her head, pointing her pen at Katie. "No, that wouldn't make sense. A journalist wouldn't have sat on a photo opp like that for anything."

"Who else was in the courtroom? Victims? Why would one of the victims of Yakavetta take a picture of his killers?"

"Wait, Katie. If those against him were there, than those in support of him were also there. It means the trial was open to the public."

"And that the picture was taken by someone with ties to the mafia?"

"Exactly. Which means the mafia has had this picture for over a year." Sara tossed her pen against the pad of paper and leaned back in her chair. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Katie again. They stared at each other for a minute.

"They've been planning something for a year. I really was just a means to get to the Saints."

Sara crinkled her forehead. "What are you talking about?"

"They broke in. Left messages. Very vague messages. We didn't know if I was the target or if they were."

"Why would you be the target, Katie?"

"Murphy told me that the kidnapping of Janie Fertitta wasn't real. They were really after me."

"Why though? Did they figure out why you went in to begin with?"

Katie bit her lip and stared off at the far wall. "No. They wouldn't have bothered with kidnapping me then. They would've just killed me."

"So why kidnap you?" Sara watched Katie closely, refusing to think of how close her friend might have come to death. Katie blinked slowly before moving her eyes to meet hers.

"I don't know. We couldn't figure it out. We just knew that they didn't bring the Russians in until after I was with the McManuses. After they saved me." Her voice trailed off.

"Katie." Sara kept her voice light, reaching over to take her hand. "You didn't lead them to the McManuses. They've been after them for this long. And there's another thing to consider."

Katie sighed heavily and put her other hand on top of Sara's. "What?"

"These mafia guys are fucking idiots."

They both smiled. Katie tilted her head. "What?"

"They've had this picture for a year. And they still haven't gotten any further. They're getting desperate. Which means…"

"They'll believe anything."

Sara nodded slowly and felt better as she saw Katie smile even more. Her doubts were dissolving. They could do this.

"So…" Sara's words got cut off as they heard three familiar voices coming down the hall. Katie grabbed the paper from the far end of the table and spread it out in front of her as they heard the key turn in the lock. She flipped the tab on another can of Pepsi and winked at Sara.

"So, I think we need to definitely go see that new movie, _City of Angels_." Her voice was relaxed as the door opened. Sara just grinned back.

"Even if it sucks, it's worth it to see Nicolas Cage as a fallen angel." Raising her eyes, she watched the three McManus men move into the room, removing their coats, none the wiser. Oh yeah, they could definitely do this.

* * *

Murphy followed Da and Connor into the apartment and felt himself start to smile as soon as he heard Katie's voice. Both she and Sara sat at the kitchen table, a stack of pop cans in-between them.

"Productive day, ladies?" He laid his coat across the back of Katie's chair and put his hand on her shoulder. Glancing down at the paper, he smiled. "Since when do ye care about world politics, Katie?"

She looked up at him, her brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

Nodding down at the table, he pointed to the category title at the top of the open page. Katie's eyes followed and she laughed softly. "Oh. Well, I wasn't. I was looking for the movie times."

"Which would be over in this section, Kat." Sara pulled another part of the paper over and set it in front of her. "Typical Katie. Gets lost in a newspaper."

Murphy wrinkled his forehead and watched Sara open the paper quickly to the movie times. _Typical Katie? _It was hardly typical Katie. Not that he'd seen her around many newspapers, but he knew she wasn't ditzy enough to not know where to look.

"Movie times, huh? Are ye desertin' us for a movie?" Connor slipped into the chair next to Sara and sat facing her. Da grabbed three beers from the fridge, giving one to both Connor and Murphy. They all opened them together.

"Yeah, we got tired of waiting for you." Sara grinned up at him. "So we decided we'd just trade our Saints for a hot angel."

"A hot, possibly shirtless _fallen_ angel." Katie just laughed as Murphy squeezed her shoulder.

"Ye do realize he's an actor, right? Not really a fuckin' angel?" He grinned down at her. Katie gave him a wide-eyed look.

"You must be joking. Nic Cage is nothing if not an angel."

"I'll be goin' ta McGinty's now. Doc owes me a game o' chess." Da interrupted them with another quick swig of his beer.

"How's your back, Da?" Katie pulled the beer bottle from his hand with a small smile.

"Better now. Got meself ta a doctor this mornin'."

"And?" Connor raised an eyebrow at him. Murphy turned fully to Da for his answer.

"And I'll be fuckin' fine, me boys. Just a pulled muscle. Another few days and I'll be good as new." Nodding at them all, Da pulled out his keys and walked to the door. "Ye can feel free ta join me at the bar later, if ye want ta."

"Will do." Katie smiled at him again. The door closed before Murphy turned back to face the girls.

"So what was that again about an angel?"

"Actually, I've got to get back to my apartment now." Sara got to her feet and shot a quick glance at Katie. "Got some work to catch up on."

Murphy watched Katie nod slowly and frowned. But before he could comment Connor stood up and nodded toward the door. "I'll walk ye home. Then I can tell ye what Smecker called us in for."

"Good." Sara looked around for a moment, then held up her finger. "Gimme just a second." She disappeared into the hallway. Connor exchanged a confused look with Murphy.

_Yes, they are actin' fuckin' weird, Conn. It's not just yer fuckin' imagination._ Murphy crossed his arms over his chest and glanced back down at Katie. Her eyes were back down on the paper, unaware of their scrutiny.

"So you staying there or coming back after?" Katie raised her eyes finally and raised an eyebrow as she realized she was being watched. "What?"

"Why do I have a feelin' somethin' is fuckin' goin' on here, Katie?" Connor looked at her closely. Murphy held back a smile, recognizing the stubborn set of his brother's jaw. Fuck, he was hardly needed for this situation. Connor could definitely take Katie on his own.

Katie smiled slowly before getting to her feet and standing in front of him. "Because you have an overactive imagination and no life. That and you are a fucking paranoid Irishman."

Working harder, Murphy managed to swallow his chuckle. _Maybe not._ He knew he should be helping his brother, but he'd learned that Katie would tell him in due time. When he pushed her, he rarely did either one of them any good. _Apparently, Conn is no fuckin' better at it._

He thought of stepping in before either one of them got too annoyed but Katie's action surprised him. Stepping forward, she put her arms around Connor tightly. "But I still love you anyway."

Connor's eyes widened and he placed his hands on her back as he gave Murphy a confused look. Shrugging, Murphy shook his head. He had no idea what was going on either.

"Katie, are ye alright?" Connor kept his gaze on Murphy. She nodded slowly and stepped back.

"Fine. Just be careful, Conn."

Moving his hands to her shoulders, he looked down into her face, his eyes finally leaving Murphy. "What's goin' on here? Ye gettin' another fuckin' bad feelin'?"

Murphy's heart sped up slightly but she shook her head. "No. I just…"

"Ye just what?"

"I just have a good idea of what Smecker was going to tell you. And fuck, something's gotta happen soon. Can't I just tell you to be careful without having it analyzed?" She raised both of her eyebrows at him before glancing at Murphy, who just held up his hands in surrender.

He had no idea what was going on, but he wasn't about to get in the way of female emotions. Especially ones he understood perfectly.

"Aye, ye can." Connor reached up and rubbed the palm of his hand over her hair. With a half laugh, she knocked his hand away. "Ye just caught me off guard."

She shook her head again. "I should have known emotion displays would confuse a caveman like you." Reaching up, she patted him on the top of the head. Connor hooked his arm around her neck and kissed the top of her head.

"Shall I fuckin' grunt ta please ye? Or take Dino out for a walk?"

"Just take Sara home." Katie grinned up at him and nodded toward Sara, who had picked up her purse and was now watching them with a raised eyebrow. Connor just smiled slightly, slipping his arm over her shoulders. Katie laughed. "Good job, caveman."

Grunting, Connor stepped back away from Sara and hunched over. "Me see pretty woman. Me take her back to cave. Have lots of Pebbles and Bam-Bams." He picked Sara up and slung her over his shoulder. Her laughter filled the hall as he marched them out the open door.

Murphy laughed at the spectacle his brother was making and closed the door tightly. Turning around, he crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at Katie. She just looked at him.

"What the fuck was that, Katie?"

"An impulse." She turned back to the table and began folding up the paper. Sighing, Murphy stepped up behind her and put his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Caused by what?"

"They know you are alive, don't they?"

The room was silent for a second. Finally Murphy nodded. "Aye, they do."

She merely sighed and the lack of outburst surprised him. It took him a moment to realize he'd be bracing for one. Letting go of her, he stepped in front of her and looked down into her face.

"No tears?" He kept his voice soft, but she looked up quickly.

"You disappointed?" She frowned at him and he shook his head in response.

"No, no. I hate it when ye cry, Katie. But I was just expectin' it, I guess."

"I'm tired of cryin' Murph." She moved into his arms again and laid her head on his chest. "When is this gonna be over? When can we stop tensing for everything? When are we going to be able to watch someone walk out the door and not wonder if it's the last time we're going to see them?"

"I don't know, Katie. Soon, hopefully." He pressed his lips to her temple and then to her hair. Breathing in the smell of her shampoo, Murphy closed his eyes.

This had to end soon. They were good at joking to cover it up, but he could see it wearing on them all. Even Da. Fuck, especially Da. His thoughts wandered to McGinty's, where he knew Da and Doc would have started their game already. At least Da had found an outlet. Someone to pass the waiting time with over a Guinness and a semi-serious competition at chess.

And now Katie was starting to become numb to it. Murphy had once thought he'd become numb and he realized there was little to life if you felt no emotion. The thrill of doing God's work had long since left him at that point and the blood of the dead had stopped haunting his dreams. And he realized that above all else, he feared himself. He feared what he'd become.

But then he'd met Katie. And with her came back all the long forgotten emotions of fear, anger, love and hope. It was that last one that he was the most thankful for. Hope. Before Katie, there was none. But now he had hope. Hope for a better life without bloodshed and living in the shadows. Hope for a life with her.

Murphy's arms tightened around her and he felt her sigh against him. He couldn't let her become numb. "So is this what else ye've got planned for me today?"

She laughed softly into his shoulder. "Hardly. But nothing seems to be going according to plan today."

"Fuck plannin'. Let's just have a good time."

"And what do you suggest, Mr. McManus?"

"Humm…" He pulled slightly away from her and tucked hair behind her ear. "Why don't ye decide what ye want ta do for supper? And I'll be right back."

Murphy kissed her softly and walked back to his and Connor's bedroom. The bag was in the corner of the nearly empty closet, right where he'd left it. Fuck, where he'd left it and forgot about it until earlier in the day. She'd been working so hard to surprise her and he'd forgotten the surprise he'd planned for her. Unzipping the bag, he made sure it was the same one.

With a grin, he walked back out to the living room and chuckled softly when he saw the Katie had nestled into the couch. The television was on some comedy about gray haired women. It seemed vaguely familiar to him.

"This is how ye decide what's for supper?"

"It's already been ordered, Murph." She smiled but kept her eyes on the screen.

"What? What'd ye order?"

"Chinese. You like Chinese, don't you?" Her gaze moved to him and he just shook his head.

"Ye're fuckin' lucky I do."

"What's in the bag?" Her eyes fell on the blue duffel. He grinned and presented it to her.

"Ye didn't think I went all the way ta New York and didn't bring you back anything, did ye?"

"If it's a gun, I'm going to hurt you, Murph."

Sitting down beside her, he pushed the bag closer. Katie sat up fully.

"It's not a gun. I wouldn't do that ta ye."

"So what is it?"

Murphy laughed. "Stop lookin' at it like it's gonna fuckin' bite ye. Open the bag."

Her hands were hesitant but she unzipped the bag and only paused slightly before dipping her hand inside. The first thing she pulled out was a framed picture. Her jaw dropped slightly as she stared at it. "Oh, Murph." She ran her fingers along the edges, wiping away the remaining dust as she stared down at it. "That's me. At high school graduation."

Her eyes were misty as she looked up at him and Murphy didn't know what to say. He settled for wiping away the first tear with a smile. "Ye look beautiful."

"I hated my hair back then." She sniffed and looked down at the picture again. Murphy realized that she thought he'd been referring to the picture. But he'd meant that she'd looked beautiful in that moment, dusty picture frame in hand and a few fresh tears in her eyes. Her hand was pulling something else out of the bag before he could correct her.

The green stuffed bunny plopped out and landed on her lap, making Katie let out a laugh. "Bunny!" She held the stuffed animal to her chest and smiled up at Murphy.

"Keep goin'. There's more ta find in there." Leaning his arm up on the couch, he watched her with a grin. Her face lit up more as she pulled out another few pictures. He knew the second her hand reached the metal box that filled the bottom of the bag.

With a puzzled look at him, Katie reached in with both hands and pulled the metal box out. Her eyes widened as she ran her hands over it. "How did you find this?"

"I…uh…" He chuckled softly. "By accident. I swear."

She raised her eyes to his and laughed. "You snooped, didn't you?"

"I didn't mean to find it though."

"Should have known." Her fingers traced around the combination for a second before steadily moving the numbers on the dial. After three numbers were lined up, she pressed the button. The lip popped up with a click and Murphy leaned closer to see what was inside.

Katie laughed again. "Curiosity killed the cat, Murphy."

"What's in there?"

"The stuff I considered valuable two years ago. That's when I hid it." She turned the open box slightly. Murphy moved closer. Folded papers lay among photographs. An envelope lined the bottom of the box and Katie pulled that out first. She opened it and pulled out a stack of bills and a few plastic cards. "My safety stash of money. Two hundred whole dollars. It seemed like a lot when I put it in here. And my license. My credit card, which is now outdated."

"Ye don't have I.D. with ye here?" Murphy frowned at her. "That's not exactly that fuckin' safe, Katie."

"And if I'd lived a Pollyanna life, Murph, I wouldn't have had to hide my I.D. I couldn't carry it with me. I had my fake I.D. but they took it away when we reached the warehouse." She returned her attention to the box and pulled out the rest of the papers. A few pictures fell out onto Murphy's lap. He picked them up and glanced at them as she flipped through the papers. "Christ, why did I think it was important to keep this? Look Murphy, I was CPR certified…three fucking years ago."

He just grinned at her and looked back down at the pictures. The top one was of her and Brett. Since they both looked younger than the last picture he'd seen of them, he assumed it'd been taken before Brett had changed. And she'd been fresh from his death when she'd put this box together. Raising his eyes back to her, he couldn't help but wonder how much her older brother's death still bothered her. But even as her eyes met his finally, he couldn't bring himself to ask.

"What?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Pictures." He passed the first one over and she glanced down at it quickly.

"I used to love this picture. One of the few good ones of Brett and me. That's from a few months before our parents died." Her voice remained relaxed as she turned her attention back to the papers in her hand. Murphy's eyes returned to the next picture and he grinned.

Katie was smiling widely into the camera, her arms around a guy he didn't recognize. By the expression on the guy's face, Murphy could assume this wasn't a family member. He laughed and held it up for her. "And who is this?"

Her eyes widened and she gave a short laugh. "Fuck, where did you find that?"

"In this stack of pictures. Who is it?"

"Uh, just a guy I met freshman year."

"Just a guy, huh?" Murphy teased her and was surprised to find that it didn't bother him.

"Yes, just a guy. Trust me, it's not worth mentioning. It lasted nearly two whole months."

"Then why keep the picture?" He knew he hit on something as she turned slightly red.

"Murph." She sighed and reached for the picture. "It's nothing."

"Katie, why did ye keep the picture?"

"He…uh…"She sighed and rolled her eyes. "He was my first…you know."

"Yer first what? Looooove?" He grinned as she got flustered.

"No, he was my first…I…he was the first guy I slept with." She pulled the picture from his hand and shoved it into the box. Her eyes remained on the box, not returning to look up at him. Murphy waited a second before leaning forward. He put his hand under her chin, bringing her chin to look up at him. After a moment, her eyes followed and fell on his.

"Why are ye embarrassed, Katie?"

"It's just that he was the first for me. And you're…you're…"

He smiled softly at her. "And I'm what?"

"You're…fuck, Murphy, you're the guy I love. It's slightly fucking awkward to discuss it with you."

Leaning forward, he kissed her lightly, lingering only for a moment. "I love ye, Katie. I don't care if ye've got a whole fuckin' shoebox of these guys in yer past."

"How about two shoeboxes?" She grinned up at him and he raised an eyebrow. "One and a half?"

"How many shoeboxes do ye need there ta be?" He laughed.

"None. I love you, Murphy. So much." Her lips found his again and her arms slipped around his neck. He leaned closer to her but pulled back as the metal dug into his side.

"Ouch." He whispered against her lips and she pulled back.

"What?"

"Box." He smiled as she started laughing again.

"I told you those boxes would get between us."

Lifting the metal box from the couch, he set it on the floor and pulled her over to sit across his lap. "Not anymore. No more fuckin' boxes between us."

She relaxed against him, leaning her head against his shoulder. Her warm breath whispered across his neck and he kissed her forehead again. "Think we should call Connor?" Her voice was soft.

"He's fine, Katie. He's probably with Sara at the moment."

"How do you know?"

"ESP."

"Bullshit." She shifted against him. Sighing, Murphy reached behind her and picked up the stuffed bunny she'd pulled out. Switching it to his other hand, he held it in front of her.

"He's fine." He used his fingers to make the bunny's head nod with the high pitched voice he used. Katie laughed and looked up at him.

"Bunny's a male, Murph."

"Fine, then." He lowered his voice slightly and tried again. "He's fine."

"Much better. Can't have you embarrassing Bunny for the sake of making me laugh."

"Of course not." He set the stuffed animal on her lap and kissed the top of her head again. "God forbid I embarrass the fuckin' stuffed rabbit."

"He has feelings too." She grinned up at him. He kissed her softly.

"Yeah yeah." Murphy ran his hand over the back of her head and she settled against him again. The credits of the show ran slowly across the screen. Connor had to be fine. He had to be. And Murphy had a feeling he'd be home yet that night.

* * *

Connor twisted the off of the beer Sara handed him and grinned at her. "So are ye really workin' tonight? Or was that just the fuckin' means of an escape?"

Leaning up, she kissed him. "Depends. What are your plans?"

"Well, I have a few girls ta meet up with. It's only a three date night fer me. So I might be able ta spare ye some time."

"Oh, lucky me." She pressed her lips to his again and Connor wrapped his arms around her, setting his beer on the counter. He worked his tongue into her mouth and backed her up against the wall. Her hands were cold against his abdomen as she worked his shirt up, only pulling away from him to slip it over his head.

"God Sara, I love ye." The quiet words slipped out before he could stop them and Connor found himself staring down at a surprised Sara. She raised her hand to his cheek, running her thumb across his lip. Then she pressed her face into the hallow of his neck without a word.

She still couldn't say it back, he realized. And it hurt. It hurt because he thought they'd gotten past this. He thought they'd been working toward something solid. Her tears were wet against his neck before he even felt her start to cry. His arms came around her quickly, holding her tightly against him.

"It's okay, a Mhuirnìn." He murmured to her but she just sobbed harder. She pulled away from him and held up a finger.

"Just gimme a minute." Her voice was shaky as she managed to get the words out. Connor helplessly watched her hurry out of the room.

_Fuck!_ He raised his hand to his lips, still able to feel her lips on his. Why did he say that? Why couldn't she just accept it? What if she was never going to be able to say it back to him? What if she wasn't the one he was meant to be with?

The tight feeling in his chest returned at this point. Life without Sara was unimaginable at this point. He loved her. Quiet possibly more than he'd loved anything so far in his life. Maybe even more than he loved Murphy. Christ, what had he gotten himself into?

Pacing, Connor found himself over by her desk again. His eyes fell upon the manila folder that was leaning against the monitor of her computer. _Maybe it's not me that's bothering her so much._ She had said it was a project but that was before Davis had died. Before she told him that she'd turned the project down. But why did he feel that whatever was in that folder was bothering her? _And why do I now have a bad feeling?_

Reaching out, he picked up the folder and slid the stack of papers out of it. The blood rushed to his head in a whirl as his eyes skimmed down the first page. It was about them. About the Saints. _Her project is about the Saints._ _Why? No. She couldn't_… Not quite fully formed thoughts sped through his head as his shaking hands lifted the sheet. A fuzzy photo covered half of the next page and Connor's heart leapt to his throat as he stared down at it. Someone had taken a picture of them that day. _Fuck, someone knows what we look like. What is she planning on doing with this?_

The click of her boots on the polished floor in the hallway nearly made him drop the papers. His fingers gripped them tightly as he turned to face her. Sara's eyes had widened in shock and she stared at the stack in his hands. He could only see the fear in his face as she looked back up at him.

"It's not what you think, Conn."

"Than what the FUCK is it?" He worked to keep his voice calm, his breathing steady. But he knew his temper was winning out. Soon, he'd lose that tight control.

"It's a project. Davis gave it to me…"

"Ye said ye didn't take it, Sara. Ye fuckin' lied ta me."

She ran a hand over her mouth. "I didn't really lie to you. I didn't get a chance to take it. Davis died first."

"Rather fuckin' inconvenient, huh?" He threw the stack down on the desk and took a step forward, his motions still tightly controlled. But she still stepped back. Her obvious fear of him just made him angrier. _Was there ever any trust here?_

"Connor, you don't know what you're saying."

"And I didn't know what ye were fuckin' doin' until now either. Ye fuckin' used me ta get information, didn't ye?" The words came out before the clear thoughts even formed.

"How can you say that? I didn't get this until yesterday, Connor."

"Maybe not the file, but ye know it was coming, didn't ye? Didn't want ta have it around in case I went snoopin' a bit too early fer ye?"

"No, Connor. No! I don't think Davis gave it to me to set you up. I think he knew I was involved with you." Her words were leaking out faster and they made no sense to Connor. And he found that he couldn't care anymore.

The lump had formed in his throat and he had to force himself to keep breathing. The air in the apartment was suddenly too tight, too thick. Shoving his shirt over his head, he grabbed his coat and headed toward the door.

"Connor, wait! Hear me out!" There were tears in her voice as she pleaded but he slammed the door on her words. He couldn't allow himself to care. He couldn't allow himself to want to know what else she might possibly have to say to him.

* * *

**Gaelic lesson #2: A Mhuirnin means my dear. (# 1 was A Ghra means my love - from Chapter 28)...and for some reason accents aren't working on here...**  



	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: A bit shorter than planned...but I thought it was a good breaking point. That and I wanted to get something up here before I went to bed. Sweet dreams all and I promise, much more to come very soon:)**

Katie only realized she had fallen asleep against Murphy's shoulder when the front door slammed open, waking her up. Feeling Murphy jolt as well, she knew he was either sleeping or nearly there. She fell back against the couch as he jumped to his feet and stepped in front of her.

They both watched as Connor walked straight past them into the kitchen, where he yanked open the fridge and pulled out a beer. He twisted the cap off angrily and tossed it to the side before upending the beer. Downing it in five swallows, he slammed it on the counter.

She watched as Murphy stepped toward him then, moving slowly. "Conn, what's goin' on?" He kept his voice quiet. Connor raised his eyes and from her seat on the couch, Katie could see the fury and the pain there.

"She. I. She…"

Katie got to her feet and moved to stand beside Murphy, as Connor still struggled to form a complete sentence. Raising her hand up, she got his attention. "Did you and Sara fight?"

"Did we fight?" He forced out a laugh. "Fuck, fight doesn't even fuckin' cover it."

Despite the fact that Connor was obviously upset in front of her, Katie's first thought was of Sara. He was here and this upset. What was she like there? Fuck, he'd walked out on her. After a fight. After a clearly bad fight.

"You left her there? Alone?" Katie raised her thumb to her mouth and began to chew on her nail.

"Aye, what the fuck else was I supposed ta do? Drag her fuckin' back here?"

"Couldn't you have just got to a separate room to cool off? Instead of leaving her there alone?"

He stared at her for a second. "Ta fuckin' cool off? Katie, ye don't even fuckin' know what yer talkin' about."

Murphy stepped closer to Connor. "What happened?"

"She fuckin' used me, Murph. I'm the fuckin' means ta information ta her." Connor moved past him and pulled another beer out of the fridge. Murphy pulled out another one and opened it at the same time as him. Taking a drink, he leaned against the counter near his brother.

"What information?"

"You just fucking left her, Connor? Do you realize what that's going to do to her?" Her voice had gotten higher and she got surprised looks from both twins. Murphy shook his head slightly but Connor stood up and stepped closer to her before Murphy could answer.

"She fuckin' used me, Katie. Or does that not even matter ta ye, since she's yer fuckin' friend and all?" He kept his eyes on her as he took a drink but Katie refused to let herself be intimidated. He really hurting if he was willing to try to scare her. But thoughts of a hysterical Sara kept her pushing.

"Did you even hear her out? Or did you just assume you knew everything before judging what you saw?" She bit off the words, the anger flooding her as well.

"Katie." Murphy's warning came out but neither she nor Connor paid attention to it.

"She had a fuckin' file on us, Katie. She was plannin' on turnin' information over ta someone about us. Is that enough ta matter ta ye?" He stopped and continued to stare down at her. After a second, his eyes widened. "Unless ye already fuckin' knew."

"Connor." She managed to sigh before he broke in again.

"Christ, Katie, yer the fuckin' same as her. Don't tell me ye were in on this too. Were ye in on this?" The bottle was suddenly spinning on the counter and his hands gripped her arms, forcing her to face him again. "Were ye just here ta get information on us?"

Her heart raced as she put her hands on his chest and pushed him away from her. His grip wasn't tight enough to hold and she managed to step away. Crossing her arms over her chest, she caught the wide-eyed expression on Murphy's face and realized that he didn't know what to do. He didn't know who to side with. Moving her attention back to Connor, she saw that he was still staring at her.

"You're pretty fucking quick with the accusations here, Connor. But did you even stop to think? Yeah, she might have a fucking file on you. But is your trust of her…fuck, trust of us so little that you can only think of one fuckin' option?" He remained silent as she took a shaky breath. "We'd planned on giving information, yes. But Christ, Connor. She'd die before revealing your true names. We both would."

The tears were threatening again and Katie knew she had to get out of there before things got uglier. She looked at Murphy for a second and saw that he was still at a loss of what to do. Giving a shaky sigh, she grabbed her coat and purse off of the table and walked out the door without a backward glance.

It was only once she was safely outside the door that she allowed herself to pause. Leaning against the wall next to the doorway, she closed her eyes. There was no sound of footsteps, no door being yanked open. No calling of her name. A few tears escaped as she pushed off of the wall and walked out of the building. There were more important things to worry about at the moment. Sara needed her right now. She could sort out everything else later.

* * *

There was no hysterical Sara waiting behind her apartment door. In fact, Katie's heart began racing as she found the door unlocked and no Sara inside at all. She took a little comfort in the fact that there were no broken dishes or upturned furniture. Where was she?

Katie's question was answered a few painfully long minutes later when the front door creaked open again and Sara appeared. She wore running tights and a long sleeve shirt. Her face showed no emotion, not even surprise at finding Katie in her kitchen. This wasn't good.

"Hey."

"Sara. Are you okay?"

"How'd you know?" Sara sat down on her couch and began to untie her shoes, her eyes focused on the ground.

"Conn came back to the apartment."

Sara simply nodded at her words and stayed silent. Her shoes were off finally and she slid back on the couch, curling her feet beneath her. After waiting for a response and getting none, Katie worked her way over to sit down next to her.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Katie. You didn't need to come check on me."

"Yes, I did." She put her arm around Sara, who held back for only a moment before giving into the hug. Katie held onto her tightly but the tears she was waiting for didn't come.

"He's not Greg, Katie."

"What?"

"He's not Greg. I think somewhere deep down I knew that all along. And Connor walked away with good reason."

Katie tried to pull back to look Sara in the eye but found that she was just being held tighter instead. "He'll listen to reason. He has to."

"No, Katie. I lost him." It was the resignation in Sara's voice that made Katie bite back her reply. What her friend needed now was support, not quickly formed false hopes. And after seeing how Connor reacted to her, she wasn't sure she could guarantee anything about him anymore. And it made her sick to know that this could be it. This could be the end of everything with the McManuses.

* * *

It was only as the door slammed that Murphy looked back at Connor. Their eyes met only for a moment before Connor picked up the still wobbling bottle and took another long pull from it.

"What the fuck is goin' on, Connor?" Murphy kept his voice quiet despite the pounding of his blood through his veins. He hadn't seen Connor this mad in a long time. And it'd been aimed at Katie. At his Katie. And he hadn't been able to get himself to step in.

"She has a fuckin' file on us. With a fuckin' picture from when we did Papa Joe."

"She has a picture?"

"Yeah, Murph. A fuckin' picture. What the fuck else was I supposed ta think?" Connor's eyes were focused on his bottle and with one quick movement he threw it against the far kitchen wall. The bottle shattered, sending shreds everywhere and beer pouring down the wall. Turning on his heel, he left Murphy alone in the room, slamming the bedroom door.

Forcing a deep breath, Murphy stared at the broken glass and new crack across the tiled wall. He knew he should leave Connor alone. It's what they'd always done. Given each other a chance to cool off before attempting any further discussion.

But this time he couldn't. Things were too volatile. And for once, he felt like he was the only one left in the dark. Connor had the answers and he was damn well going to get them now.

Setting his barely touched beer down on the counter, Murphy rubbed his hand over his face and made his way back to the bedroom. Connor was stretched out across his bed with his arm over his eyes and didn't move when Murphy walked in.

"Go the fuck away."

"Aye, once ye tell me what the fuck is goin' on here." Sitting down on his bed, he leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. Connor remained motionless for a second before peeking out under his arm at him.

"I found the fuckin' file. It was a request ta find more fuckin' information on us. On the Saints. And it was on her fuckin' desk, Murph."

Murphy nodded slowly, pressing his hands together. The knot had started forming in his stomach but he knew it wasn't half the pain that his brother was feeling.

"And it was bad fuckin' timin', I guess. She hasn't been able ta…" He paused and let out a long breath.

"Been able ta what?"

Connor arm went back over his eyes. "She hasn't been able ta say that she loves me, Murph. And she got real fuckin' upset this time. So I thought…"

"Ye thought it was because she was playin' ye." Murphy finished softly and felt the unnecessary anger building. It wasn't true. It couldn't be true.

Sara was too straight forward for that. Too much like Connor, in fact. While they both hid their feelings quite well, neither of them were particularly good at pretending to be something else. Pretending to be false. It's why Connor had never been successful bait for a hit. His attempts were awkward at best.

_But Katie on the other hand…_ Murphy swallowed hard and shook his head. He couldn't allow his mind to go there. There was no way she'd do that to them. Could do that to them. He wouldn't even allow himself to think it.

"I don't think she's been playin' ye, Conn." Murphy finally was able to offer and he heard Connor sigh heavily.

"I know. Now." He sat up fully and sat on the edge of his bed, facing Murphy. "Christ, Murph. What have I done?"

"Ye acted like a man who just found out his girlfriend was fuckin' lyin' ta him. About somethin' rather fuckin' important, too."

"Aye but in normal fuckin' circumstances she'd have no fuckin' reason ta even let me back inta her apartment. And less reason ta listen ta me." Connor rubbed a hand against his temples, squeezing his eyes shut.

"We're hardly in fuckin' normal circumstances, Connor. And I'd say she owes ye a fuckin' explanation. In fact, they both owe _us_ a fuckin' explanation."

Connor's eyes opened and met his gaze with new intensity. "Fuck. Katie." He ran a hand over his mouth and Murphy knew he was replaying the whole scene again in his head. Guilt played across his brother's features and Murphy shook his head.

"Conn."

"Christ, Murph. I practically fuckin' accused her too. And I know I scared her." His eyes fell on Murphy's again. "Fuck, I'm sorry, Murph."

"She pushed ye Conn. And I can see the logic in yer fuckin' response."

"Ye can't be fuckin' sidin' with me here. I fuckin' manhandled yer girlfriend-"

Murphy held up a hand, cutting Connor off before he could keep going. "First off, as much as I usually don't admit it, Katie can take care of herself. If ye were really fuckin' hurtin' her, she would've told ye. Secondly…" He dipped his head down to make sure Connor was still meeting his eye. "Secondly, I trust ye with her. Just as much as I trust ye not ta hurt Ma or Aunt Lucy…or Sara."

Connor swallowed hard and nodded in response. He was silent otherwise.

"Conn, ye acted like anyone else in yer fuckin' situation would've. Fuck, I'd've fuckin' raised some more hell than ye even did. And the fact is…is that our girls have been playin' with fuckin' fire here." He heard the hard edge to his own voice and could feel the frustration building. "And maybe havin' ye yell at them a little bit is exactly what they need ta realize it's not all just fuckin' daisies and sunshine. It's our fuckin' lives…and possible deaths. We should have some fuckin' say in it too."

Connor nodded again slowly and stood up. He gave Murphy a small grin. "When did ye get so fuckin' calm and rational?"

"When you decided ta get so fuckin' emotional and girly on me. I had ta fuckin' balance us out some how." Murphy stood and threw his arm over his brother's shoulder, attempting to pull him into a headlock. But Connor knew his moves too well and it was Murphy who ended up in the headlock.

"Give it up, Murph." Connor let go of him and pushed him out the bedroom door ahead of him. "Ye'll never be able ta beat me."

"And ye'll never be able ta beat me either."

"Humm…I kinda like it that way. A fuckin' challenge."

Murphy squeezed his hand on his brother's shoulder before giving him a small shove toward the door. "Well yer first fuckin' challenge is ta go talk ta Sara. Get the full fuckin' story."

Connor nodded slowly and picked his jacket up from where he'd dropped it on the floor. He pulled it on slowly and gave Murphy a hesitant look. Rolling his eyes, Murphy nodded. "Don't worry, I was plannin' ta call her. I wouldn't send ye in ta face the two of them at once."

"Thanks."

"Besides, I think Katie and I need ta have a bit of a talk ourselves. Get Sara's story and we'll compare tomorrow. Make sure the two of them line up."

Connor smiled. "Make sure they aren't just throwin' us off again. Oh, and Murph? Leave enough of Katie left for me ta apologize to, please."

"I'll try. Maybe even enough that she can apologize, too."

Murphy watched Connor make it nearly out the door before he glanced back. They shared a long look of understanding and Murphy nodded again. Connor simply smiled and pulled the door shut behind him.

Shaking his head slowly, Murphy let out a long sigh. He hadn't had to diffuse Connor like that in a long time. If anything, it was usually the other way around. Sara had really been able to get to him. Which meant that she really meant a lot to him. _Christ, this better fuckin' work out._ Otherwise, Murphy knew that even he might not be able to put Connor back together again.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, Murphy pressed the speed dial and held his breath for Katie's answer. Her voice was soft and thick and she simply said his name.

"Murph."

"Katie. I think we need ta talk."

"Okay." She said slowly and he knew she was going to put him off until later, until she knew Sara was okay.

"Connor's on his way over."

"What? Why?"

Murphy closed his eyes. "Ta get the full fuckin' story. Which is why I need ye ta met me."

She was silent for a minute and he could swear he could hear her mind working quickly. "I…okay. Where?"

"McGinty's?" He offered.

"Too busy. And too loud."

"How about that diner?"

"Okay." She sighed lightly. "When?"

"Leave now. I'll meet ye there."

"Okay."

Murphy switched the phone to his other ear as he picked up his keys and made his way to the door. "Oh, and Katie? I love ye."

"Murph. I love you, too."

Hitting the end call button on his phone, Murphy slid it into his pocket and quickly locked the door behind him. And to think, when he'd left the apartment earlier in the day, he thought that things had finally slowed down. That they might be able to breathe. Smirking slightly, he pushed his hands into his pockets and walked down the hall. He'd been wrong then. But really, how much worse could it possibly get?


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: 4444 words exactly. Now that takes talent, right:) And you'll be glad to know that I'm already partly into Chapter 33. **

Connor paused outside of Sara's door and was surprised to notice the slight tremor in his hands. He'd fucked up. She'd fucked up. And suddenly he didn't feel any better about this relationship than he had when he'd stormed out several hours ago. There was only silence on the other side of the door, he realized as he leaned his ear against it. She was waiting for him. Which meant he had to go in.

Raising his hand to the door, he only allowed himself a moment's hesitation before rapping his knuckles lightly on the wood. There was a pause of silence during which he because increasingly aware of his steadily rising heartbeat. Then the door opened and Sara stood before him, her face carefully blank.

And it was as Connor stared down at her that he realized it. That no matter what had gone on, he still loved her just as much. Even if it ended up that she had used him, he couldn't force himself to take that back from her. Which meant that he had little choice in what he needed to do next. No matter what she had to say, he would have to stick through it and hear her out.

"Hey."

She blinked at his soft tone, almost as if it had broken her concentration. "Hey." Shifting to the side, she opened the door fully to allow him in.

Despite the growing need to touch her, to make contact with her, Connor just slipped out of his coat and pushed the sleeves on his sweater up. Sara had wandered out to the kitchen, where she poured coffee into two mugs. Nodding toward the table, she set the second mug at the spot next to her. Connor eyed the manila folder at the spot.

"I thought you might want to see it. To read it fully before we try to talk. So we start out at the same level of knowledge." Her voice was calm, but he noticed her lack of eye contact as she took a sip of her coffee.

"Ah, good idea." It was all he could think of to offer as a response. Sitting down, he pressed his hand against the folder before shaking his head and looking up at her. "Sara-"

"Conn, please." Letting go of her mug with one hand, she pushed the folder toward him. Connor laid his hand on top of it lacing his fingers through hers. And with his other hand, he slid the papers out.

He skimmed through the top page again, which spelled out specifically what she was to look for, before glancing over the two pages beneath the folder. He found that the facts about the Saints were bare, the list of their supposed hits filling three-fourths of the report. Connor couldn't help but to smile slightly as he realized that they were giving the Saints more credit than was due to them. More than five of their supposed hits didn't seem familiar at all.

When he reached the bottom of the second page of the report, he slid it back and raised his eyes to Sara. She looked away then and pulled her hand out of his. Readjusting her mug in both of her hands, she stared down into the cup.

Forcing himself not to sigh heavily, Connor rubbed his hand over his face. "They don't have much here."

"No, they don't. Which is why they recruited Davis."

"And Davis gave it ta ye."

Sara nodded shortly before turning her gaze to him. She pressed her lips together. "I'm sorry you found the file that way, Connor. But I'm not sorry I have it."

Connor nodded but remained silent, not sure if he could trust his words at the moment. The burning in his gut had returned but he forced it back with the growing frustration. He had to hear her out.

"You know that Katie nearly fucking flipped her lid when she found out, too? I had to talk her down from calling you two." Sara took another drink of her coffee before setting it down on the table. Interlocking her hands, she stared down at them. "And I'll tell you the same thing I told her. If Davis willing left me this folder, without me officially accepting it, that means there is another one out there."

Raising his eyes back to her, Connor frowned. His mind processed the information and he sighed when he realized what she meant. "So if ye don't take it, someone else might?"

"Someone else might have already taken it. I don't know for sure. It depends on whether Davis had a second-in-charge."

"Katie said somethin' about a fuckin' second option. What did she mean?"

"Second option?" Sara brought her eyes back to him and wrinkled her forehead. Then she nodded slowly. "Oh. She meant that there is a second option on what to do with this folder."

"Ye mean besides burn it?" He meant it to sound like a joke but at her sigh, he realized she thought he was serious.

"The second option is to give the mafia what they want. They want to know the true identities of the Saints. But they won't know the difference right away if I give them false ones."

"Sara, ye can't do this." The words were out even though he hadn't meant to say them. He'd meant to convince her another way. And by the way she bristled, he knew it was the wrong way to go about it.

"Unfortunately, you don't have a choice in the matter." She got up from the table and dumped the rest of her coffee out into the sink before turning and facing him. Crossing her arms over her chest, she just looked at him. And he realized that she'd been preparing for this fight.

"No choice? It's me own fuckin' life, Sara."

"If someone had a fucking gun to my head, Connor, would you just stand there and do nothing?"

He scowled at her. "Christ, that's not even the same fuckin' thing and ye know it."

"It is to me, Conn."

Tilting his head back slightly, Connor glared up at the ceiling and rubbed a hand over his face. "What is it with the two of ye? Don't ye realize that we've been survivin' without ye this whole fuckin' time? That we don't need yer fuckin' help?"

"Because we fucking care about you. Is it that hard to understand? Because that's the funny thing about l-loving someone. It's much harder to do if they aren't around anymore." Slapping her hand down on the counter, Sara moved to walk past Connor but he caught her arm.

"Sara." He sighed but she wouldn't look at him. He studied her profile for a moment. "Do ye even know what they'd do ta ye, if they found out that ye lied ta them? Davis got it fuckin' easy."

She took a shaky breath and Connor had to force himself not to reach out to her. _Her fuckin' pace. This has ta be at her fuckin' pace._ After a few more breaths, she turned to look at him. "And do you realize that I have a good fucking idea of what they might do to the three of you, if they get a hold of you? I'm afraid mine trumps yours, Conn."

And with that she pulled her arm out of his hand, disappearing into the hallway. Her bedroom door didn't close but the lack of it slamming in his face still didn't make him feel welcome as he stepped through the doorway. She sat against the headboard of her bed, her knees pulled up tightly against her chest and her eyes on the far wall. Connor moved slowly toward her, not getting her to actually look at him until he sat directly in front of her, blocking her view of anything else.

"I've never met anyone like ye, Sara." He was finally able to say, resting his hand on her knee.

"That's probably good. You can't have any more of your girlfriends lying to you like I have." Her voice was barely above a whisper and she managed a small smile after a few seconds.

There was a vulnerability in her smile that made him want to do nothing more than just hold onto her forever. To protect her and to be the shield for her against anything that could make her feel that way again. But he knew she felt vulnerable because of him. And he didn't know how to protect her against that.

"Sara, I…I can't lose ye. Not over something like this. Something that I got meself inta."

"Got yourself into? Connor, you're out there saving the fucking world by getting rid of one asshole Mafioso at a time." Sara sat up fully, tucking her legs underneath her and leaning closer to him. She put her hands on his forearms, her thumb gently running over the newly formed scar tissue there. "The three of you have done so much good by just being there that the mob could never do anything to ruin it. You've given everyone fucking hope."

"Shall I get ye a fuckin' pom pom?" Connor tried to joke, tried to get the serious mood away. Anything to keep the lump from growing in his throat.

"Don't joke about it, Conn. Have you never stopped to think about it? Think of what you've done for girls like Katie, who have had the mafia tear apart their family and walk away untouched? With you three out there, maybe fewer girls will spend their college years with a steadily growing need for vengeance. Do you even realize that? You saved Katie. You saved her from the mafia. And you saved her from herself. And even if I didn't know you three, that would be enough for me to do what I could to help you." She ended in a whisper, leaning closer to him.

Connor swallowed hard and cupped his hand on her cheek. "Sara." Her eyes closed for a moment.

"Connor." She looked at him again, the beginnings of tears shining at the corner of her eyes. "I love you." The words were a whisper but they still managed to echo through his head as he slowly reacted.

"Christ, Sara. I love ye, too." His lips met hers and he deepened the kiss almost instantly. She slid forward onto his lap and Connor held her tightly against him. He wanted to laugh with the sudden joy he felt, but didn't want to pull away from her long enough to do it.

Right now, just having her in his arms was enough for him. Fuck, she was more than enough for him. She was everything for him. And as he laid her back on the bed, he finally knew that he just might be enough for her too.

* * *

Katie found herself pausing as the diner came into sight. Christ, she was nervous, Murphy's words still echoing through her head. _I think we need ta talk. Ta get the full fuckin' story._

The butterflies in her stomach were bouncing around more and she forced a deep breath. She couldn't do this. Why couldn't she do this? It was only Murphy. Fuck, but it was Murphy and she hated seeing him angry. Especially at her.

She took a step toward a retreat without realizing it and jumped as she backed into a warm body. Not quite being able to swallow a scream, she tried to whirl around as a hand grabbed her arm.

Murphy stood behind her, laughing softly. He put his hands on her shoulders, but she pulled away and pressed a palm over her racing heart. "What the fuck was that?"

"Sorry." He raised both hands. "Didn't think ye'd fuckin' jump like that."

"How long have you been lurking behind me?"

"Long enough to know ye weren't fuckin' wantin' to go in." He smiled slightly and ran a hand over her hair, tucking a few strands behind her ear. "Ye're not fuckin' scared o' me, are ye?"

Katie caught the underlying serious tone of his voice and shook her head. "Hardly."

"Just Connor then, huh?"

She narrowed her eyes at him and shook her head slowly. "I grew up with two brothers. It takes a lot more than yelling to scare me."

"I'm…I'm sorry I didn't fuckin' step in or anything." His eyes had moved away from her and were focused on the diner window instead.

"Christ, Murph. I'm not the type of girl who picks a fight and then expects my man to protect me."

"Yer man?" He grinned down at her and Katie finally smiled back.

"You know what I mean. I'm sorry I picked at Conn like that. It was hardly fair…"

"Ye were worried about Sara. I understand. Fuck, I think even he understood once he cooled off." Murphy slipped his arm over her shoulder and turned them back toward the diner. "Let's go eat. Then we can talk more." He pulled her toward the entrance.

Katie noticed that Murphy stuck to relatively small talk until their food was served and she realized she'd rarely just talked with him. Ever since they'd met, there's always been something much more important to discuss than the weather or the definition of what a 'good' day was or even the best way for her to order eggs with her pancakes. But even as she dug into her first bite, she knew the casual conversation was over by the look he was giving her.

"Why don't ye start at the beginnin'?" Murphy finally said with a sigh. Katie was surprised to realize that he was reluctant to leave the small talk conversations, too.

She glanced around the nearly empty diner. "Should we talk about this here?"

"Aye. Just avoid the obvious fuckin' names, and I think we'll be alright." He offered her a small smile. Nodding, she pressed her lips together.

"I didn't find out until earlier today what Sara was planning to do. But she received a file yesterday from Davis. A file on you three." She sipped at her milk, hoping it would settle the still twitching nerves in her stomach. Suddenly food wasn't sounding so good. "She thought that it was something we could do. Something to help keep you safe."

"What specifically did ye plan on doin', Katie?"

"Giving the buyer misinformation about you three. He wanted names and we were prepared to come up with names. Just not yours." Running her finger along the edge of her plate, Katie sighed when she realized she could feel his frustration from across the table. Murphy wasn't the best at hiding his emotions.

"Did ye realize what would happen when the mob figures out that ye lied ta them? The danger that'll put Sara in? The-"

She pushed her plate away from her with a jerk. "That's not fair, Murph."

He held up a hand. "Ye didn't let me finish. Did you realize the danger that it'd put you in? Since I know ye'd never let Sara stand alone in a dangerous situation."

"Anymore than you'd let Connor stand alone."

Nodding his agreement, Murphy pushed her plate back toward her. "Eat."

"Murph." She sighed.

"Please."

Katie picked up her fork and played with her food as a sort of half compromise. "I do realize the danger she's in, but do you understand the situation? Whoever Davis was working for probably knows that Sara has the file. Her name is out there either way. And if she doesn't take the project, don't you think that might just give the mob a reason to look closer at her? Her connection to me has a paper trail. And her connection to you two wouldn't be that much harder to find out. If she acts normally, she might seem average enough to ignore."

"Ye've actually put a lot of fuckin' thought into this." He considered her for a moment before taking a long drink of his water.

"Honestly, I didn't want her to get any more involved than you or Connor did. And I hate it, but I'm starting to understand your side of things here." Cutting a small bite of her pancake, Katie managed to force it down. The hunger was winning over the jumping of nerves.

"Our side?"

"Yeah. I'm used to doing this alone. Which means I don't have to worry about someone else getting hurt. But fuck, Murph, I can't see a better way out here. Besides, if it helps give you guys time, I'm not sure I'm strong enough to walk away from it. I just wish I could take it away from her and do it alone."

"Sounds like a true fuckin' team player." He gave her a small smile but reached over and took her hand. Warmth spread through her as she stared down at their connection, at that spot where his thumb brushed over her knuckles. Somehow he managed to comfort her and let her keep her pride at the same time. Squeezing his hand lightly in response, she picked up her fork again.

"So?"

"So what?" Murphy raised an eyebrow and took another bite.

"What do you think?"

"I have a fuckin' voice in this?"

"Murph."

"I wish ye wouldn't do it. But since I also wish I could wrap ye up in a fuckin' box and send ye ta Ireland until this is over, I know that wishes don't always come true. And I think that I trust ye not ta take an unnecessary chance, since ye know what that does ta me."

"Murph."

He held up his hand again. "And I'm startin' ta think that ye might be our only fuckin' chance ta survive on more than just luck."

Katie frowned at him, feeling the bottom drop out on her stomach at his words. She'd never heard doubt from any of the McManuses. "What's changed, Murph?"

He shrugged. "I'm just not as good at waitin' as Conn and Da, I guess. And I feel a little like we're facin' a fuckin' brick wall here. With a fuckin' trap door beneath us." Pulling his hand from hers, he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back. "Think we can find a box big enough fer ye?"

"Maybe we should just run. Fuck fighting them. It's not worth it."

"No." He shook his head quickly. "If we go anywhere, we're goin' back ta Ireland. And I'm not gonna let this touch home."

"Then Sara and I might just have to buy you some time."

Murphy's lack of response didn't discourage her. As she forced herself to finish her food, Katie began playing with the idea of possible Saint stand-ins.

They'd have to be Irish, as the mafia was probably smart enough to figure that out. But a good Irish name was never too hard to fake. But she knew this would be much easier if they actually knew anything about profiling.

She smiled slightly as she thought about it. Fuck, they might just have to make a side-trip to have a chat with Smecker. He should know a thing or two about faking out the mafia.

* * *

It was nearly midnight when Sara woke up and realized they'd both fallen asleep in each other's arms. Her stomach protested her lack of supper and she pulled herself slowly from Connor's warm grasp. Slipping her robe off of the hook behind her door, she wrapped it around herself as she headed out of the bedroom.

As she reached the still brightly lit kitchen, everything finally hit her. The relief, the happiness and of course, the love, swarmed over her and she had to muffle a giggle. She allowed herself one full turn on her tiptoes and looked behind her, glad to see that Connor had not woken up yet. Not that she didn't want to share her happiness with him. But there had to be a limit on just how much they could share their emotions in one night.

And this, right now, was her time alone. As she pulled the macaroni and cheese box from the cupboard, her eyes fell back on the abandoned papers and manila folder. Her time alone would be devoted to laying out all the information basics they would need to fulfill. They were going to do this and they were going to do it right.

After she got the water on the burner, she sat down. Spreading the pages out in front of her, she pulled out the notepad from her work bag. These three Saint fill-ins would have to be convincing. And she'd have to be able to supply the type of information Davis had said the mafia was looking for.

The image of Davis's face floated across her mind and Sara felt the lump build in her throat. He said he'd kept track of her. She thought about their conversation in her office. He'd been so sure she'd take it if she just looked at it. So confident. Tapping her pencil, she bit the tip of her tongue. And somehow, he knew she was with someone. Was it possible that Davis knew exactly what he was asking her to do? Was it possible he was trying to make things up to her, by giving her this chance?

Socks slipped across the hallway floor and Sara looked up, smiling when she saw that Connor was awake. He'd simply pulled on his boxers and t-shirt, managing to look completely tousled and adorable.

"Workin' already?" The corner of his mouth turned up slightly as she nodded. "The pains o' datin' a career woman."

Sara laughed softly. "What?"

"Murph said it first." Opening the cold beer he'd pulled from the fridge, he squinted down at the pan on the burner. "Are ye tryin' ta boil this pot dry?"

"Fuck." She got to her feet but he just laughed and held up his hand.

"I got it."

"Do you know how to cook?"

"It's fuckin' mac and cheese. I think I might be able ta manage."

Grinning, she sat back down. "If ye need help, I'm right over here."

"Shut it." He shot her a glare but ended up chuckling instead. Adjusting the heat on the stovetop, he glanced back over at her. "Workin' on that, huh?"

"Yeah. Better to get it done sooner, rather than later. And I've already lost a day, really."

"I wish ye wouldn't do it, Sara." He stared down at the steam coming off the water, but she knew he was waiting for a response. But she didn't know how else to say it.

"I wish I didn't have to do it."

Turning, he faced her and she knew somehow he was stopping himself from coming over to her. Instead, he just stood near the stove, his arms over his chest. "Ye don't, Sara. Don't ye realize that? Ye don't have ta do this at all."

"Yes, I do, Connor." She looked back down at the paper, not really seeing the words before her. There was little left to be discussed on this matter. And she knew he realized that as he turned back to the stove and poured in the macaroni.

He stirred it slowly and she found herself peering up again to watch. The wooden spoon did seem rather natural in his hand, but as she watched him continue to stir past the limits of necessity, it was clear that he wasn't at home in the kitchen. Any real cook would not be willing to continually stir for the ten or so minutes it would take to boil the pasta.

Smiling, she tapped her pencil lightly. "Remember, I'm over here if you need me." She teased him.

His quiet laughter filled the kitchen but he didn't turn to look at her. He was apparently unsure if the macaroni would, indeed, cook if he wasn't watching it every step of the way. "Shut it, Sara."

Satisfied that he was completely entertained, she turned back to her report and started taking notes.

* * *

Murphy lay in the quiet of their bedroom and shifted his arm where it lay over Katie. She moved again, readjusting her position and he sighed. "Can't sleep either?"

It'd been over an hour since they'd both claimed to be tired, but even after getting comfortable, he hadn't been able to get to sleep. If he relaxed, he knew sleep would take him quickly, but somewhere not so deep down, he was afraid of exactly that.

Connor was gone for the night. He hadn't had a nightmare like this without his brother around to wake him up. He'd seen the bruises on Connor's face when they were younger and knew he could get violent while he was still dreaming. And that was nothing he wanted Katie to have to deal with.

She shifted again in his arms, this time turning to face him. Her eyes found his. "Nope. Just not tired."

"Liar." He smiled down at her and kissed her lightly. "Ye can barely keep yer eyes open."

"And if you closed your eyes for more than a minute, you'd fall asleep."

"Are we both stayin' awake fer the same fuckin' reason?" He ran a finger down her cheek. The answer was in her eyes long before she said it.

"What if you have a nightmare? And I sleep through it?"

"Ye won't." Murphy gave a half laugh. "I can fuckin' guarantee that."

"What if I can't wake you up like Connor can?" Her voice was calm but he could see her nerves in the way she pressed her lips together and simply looked at him.

"And will that change if ye force yerself ta stay awake?"

"Will your nightmares disappear if you try to stay awake?" She countered and he just shrugged. "Murph, you have to sleep sometime."

"Pencil me in for fuckin' next week then."

"Murph." Katie sighed. "If I can't wake you up, I'll just get Da."

Looking at her, he finally nodded slowly. He didn't want to break it to her that Da didn't know about them. Didn't want to try to explain that tonight. It was dark, the bed was warm and fuck, he was tired. Maybe sleep would come easily and he'd just glide right through to morning. Or maybe he'd have the worst fucking nightmare yet.

But either way, as Murphy started to drift off, he realized it didn't matter. Because as bad as his nightmares were, they were only dreams. And dreams were nothing but vapor compared to real life.

* * *

** I thought it was only polite to warn you: we're still simply in the calm before the storm. :) Don't get too comfortable.**  



	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Finally there. :) Next update soon. I swear.  
**

The ringing of the phone was what finally woke Murphy up and he realized that Katie had left the bed awhile ago. The sheets where she slept had long since gone cold. He remembered the beginnings of a nightmare he'd had, but her wide eyes and tentative smile leaning over him in the wake of it was what stuck with him the most. Maybe Katie wasn't the cure for his nightmares, but she was certainly a good treatment for it.

The phone rang again, making him comprehend what woke up to begin with. Grunting with the movement, he pulled his phone off of his nightstand. Answering it, he blinked sleep from his eyes.

"'lo?"

"Murphy? It's yer worthless Mother here. The one ye never stop ta call." He winced as her voice bellowed through the phone but he still felt a bubble of happiness.

"Ye mean my sweet, endearing, selfless Ma?"

"Aye, when I find that one, I'll send her yer way. Until then, ye've got me." She laughed and he grinned in response.

"Sorry we haven't called, Ma. How are things there?"

"Same ole shit, fuckin' different day." The humor was still in her voice but he heard a bit of serious slip into her next words. "Is yer girl Katie 'round?"

"Me girl? Who ruined me fuckin' secret?" He laughed as she let out a loud chuckle.

"There're no true secrets among the McManuses. Ye know that. Yer Da told me."

"Well, than maybe Da should leave the secret-tellin' up ta me."

"Can I talk ta yer girl, Murph?" She sighed heavily, making it clear the burden he was putting on her. Murphy just chuckled louder. Ma was nothing if not dramatic.

"Aye, just let me go get her."

"Well, why don't cha just take me with ye? Since ye've got one of them _mobile_ phones and all."

"I'd planned on it, Ma." Shaking his head, Murphy stood up off his bed and made his way out to the kitchen. Katie stood in front of the coffee maker, shaking her butt back and forth in some sort of dance he didn't know. But it was a dance he was beginning to enjoy. Another one of Ma's heavy sighs in his ear distracted him though and he cleared his throat.

Katie jumped before turning to face him, her cheeks turning slightly pink. "Give me some warning, Murph." She laughed softly and raised an eyebrow when she saw that he was on the phone.

"Here she is, Ma." Murphy held out the phone and Katie took it with a confused expression. He didn't know what Ma was calling for, but nonetheless, he leaned against the counter to enjoy the possible show.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Katie took the phone and pressed it to her ear, completely confused. The slight sound of breathing on the other end reminded her that she needed to say something. "Hello?"

"Katie, m'dear." Ma's voice was cheerful and loud. Katie grinned and turned away from Murphy.

"Ma, how are you?"

"Still alive, ain't I?"

"That's always good." Laughing, Katie shrugged. She had no idea what other possible response she could have given.

"I hear ye're gettin' yerself inta trouble, Kathleen." It was amazing how quickly Ma could go from cheerful to scolding. Like any true mother.

"Ah, I don't know what you mean, Ma."

"Kathleen. Ye need ta be leavin' the ass riskin' ta me boys."

"Ma, I-"

"I heard the worry in me son's voice, m'dear. They need ye ta be safe, not ta be playin' fuckin' wonder woman."

"Ma." Katie sighed, unwilling to turn and look at Murphy. Pressing her palm against the cool countertop, she shifted the phone slightly against her ear. "You know it's the same for me, right? For you, too. We need them to be safe. And if there is something I can do to help that, than I'm going to do it. You can't tell me you'd do differently."

"Yer a sweet girl." Ma sighed lightly. "And I'm not goin' ta be able ta talk ye out of this, am I?"

"No. But I appreciate the attempt." Smiling slightly, Katie heard Ma chuckle.

"Ye know, m'dear, a small part o' me is glad that ye wouldn't back down. Yer a good match for me Murphy. It's does a mother's heart good ta know her son'll be taken care of."

"He does plenty of that himself, Ma." Katie moved away slightly as she felt Murphy leaning over her shoulder to try to listen in.

"Aye, that I know, Katie. He's always been a bit more of the motherin' type than Connor."

Katie laughed but before she could respond, she heard Ma swearing lightly on the other end.

"Well, I've got ta be goin'. Sibeal and Lucy are tappin' at me fuckin' door." Ma sighed again. "Tell Murph that I'll have ta call him back later on."

"I'll do that. Take care, Ma."

"You too, lass. Make me boys behave themselves. Bye, now." The click on the other end told Katie that Ma was now gone. Lowering the phone slowly, she turned and raised an eyebrow at Murphy. He wrinkled his forehead at her.

"What? She hang up already?"

"Yeah." Katie set the phone down and then slapped his arm. "Thanks, Murph."

He laughed. "What?"

"You know what you did."

"What the fuck did I do this time?" He grabbed her hand as she moved to smack him again. Katie put her arm around his neck and worked to pull him into a headlock instead of replying. However, he was too quick for her and they ended up rolling to the floor instead. Murphy sat on top of her and leaned over her, his grip light on her arms. "What did I fuckin' do?"

"You know exactly-" She moved quickly and managed to roll him over, landing on top. "You fucking tattler."

"Whoa, what?" He started laughing and she leaned over him, her hands tightening on his wrists.

"You fucking wuss. You sent your mother after me. Real adult-like, Murph."

He just kept laughing. "I didn't do anything of the fuckin' sort, Katie."

The front door opened and Connor stepped in. He hesitated slightly before covering his eyes. "Can't ye fuckin' keep that shite ta the bedroom?"

"It's nothing like that." Katie glared down at Murphy again, who was still smirking at her. "Murphy's being a fucking asshole, again."

"I didn't fuckin' tattle on ye."

"Than who told your Ma to try to talk me out of it?"

"Ah, Katie." Connor cleared his throat and smiled slightly. "Ye got the wrong fuckin' twin there. I told Ma."

Katie stared up at him for a moment before stepping up off of Murphy and moving toward him. She hit him in the shoulder with her fist. "Why the fuck did you do that? Isn't it enough that I get guilted by you two and Da?"

"Guilted?" He was unsuccessful in holding back a grin.

"Connor." She smacked his arm again.

He grabbed both of her wrists and gripped them in one hand, rubbing his other palm over her hair. Laughing, she tried to pull away, shaking her head, but Connor held her wrists firmly. "Forgive me for bein' a fuckin' ass?"

"Conn…" She sighed but he lifted her wrists up higher with a half grin.

"Forgive me?"

"Fuck, you were forgiven by the time I got to Sara's."

"Wow, yer fuckin' easy."

Katie laughed harder. "Gee, just what every woman wants to hear."

He looked at her confused for a second before rolling his eyes. "Ye know what I fuckin' mean." Letting go of her wrists, he looked at her for a moment. "I didn't scare ye last night, did I?"

"Were you trying to?" She managed to hold back a grin, feeling a little guilty at his obvious discomfort at the question.

"No."

"Good." Smiling widely, she shook her head at him. "Because you suck at it. You're like my fucking brother here and Christ, even he was better at intimidating me than you are."

"Peter?" Murphy asked from behind her. Glancing back, Katie shook her head again.

"No, Brett. Peter's worse at it than Connor is. Of course, he is my baby brother…"

"And yer pratically like Connor's little sister. Which makes us one fucked up family." Murphy put his arm around her and waggled his eyebrows. Laughing, Katie elbowed him in the chest.

Connor knocked Murphy's arm from around her and stepped in-between them, facing Katie. "So if I'm like yer brother, does this mean I get ta tell ye that Murph's too fuckin' old fer ye?"

"We're talking maturity level, right? Because three years isn't really that much."

"Well, of course. Because we both know that Murph's just the most mature of us all. A fuckin' old man." He grinned. Katie pressed her lips together, pretending to think about it.

"If you told me I couldn't be with Murph, does this mean I have to sneak around to see him?"

"Anyhow, how's yer girlfriend doin' today?" Murphy spoke loudly from behind Connor. They both turned and grinned. Connor shrugged.

"She's fine. She's at fuckin' work. Oh, and she told me ta tell ye, Katie, that yer supposed ta met her there for lunch."

Nodding, Katie stepped back into the kitchen. "Okay. Thanks messenger boy."

"What might ye be meetin' her about?" Murphy tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow.

"You know what we're meeting for."

"Aye, we fuckin' know." The sigh came from Connor but she just shook her head. It wasn't worth getting into. Neither twin was going to try to stop them. But what about Da? Blinking, Katie looked around and realized she hadn't seen him since yesterday afternoon.

"Where's Da?"

"He came home late last night, probably still fuckin' sleepin'. I think ye've officially lost yer bed ta him now." Murphy poured a cup of coffee and slid it down the counter toward Connor. He pulled out a second mug and poured some for himself.

"How do you know that he came home?"

"I heard him fuckin' come in, after ye fell asleep."

Connor nodded in agreement. "And the pain medication the doctor gave makes him tired."

"Did I miss a day or something? When did you learn all of this?"

"Ye gotta learn ta keep up." Rubbing his hand over her head again, Connor moved past her and sat on the couch. Shaking her head slowly, Katie left the room to take a shower. The sound of 'yeehaw's and gun fire from the television followed her out of the room.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ye get things figured out?" Murphy's voice asked only seconds after they both heard the shower start. Connor pulled his eyes away from the screen to look at his brother, who was headed toward the couch. He shrugged but couldn't manage to hide a grin.

"Ye might say that."

"But they're still doin' it?"

"I guess. Not like she gave me much fuckin' choice in the matter."

Murphy leaned back and put his feet up on the coffee table. "It might be for the best."

"What?" Connor narrowed his eyes at him, noticing instantly Murphy's lack of eye contact. Something was bothering him.

"It might be best if they did this. Gave us some time ta come up with a fuckin' real plan."

"What's wrong, Murph?"

"Nothing."

"Murph."

"Fuck, I'm just tired of waitin' Conn. Waitin' for them ta make a fuckin' move. Waitin' ta fuckin' die, I don't know."

Connor turned fully toward him. "We're not goin' ta die. Not for a long time."

"How can ye be so fuckin' sure of that? We didn't think Rocco was goin' ta die either." Murphy took a long drink of his coffee and Connor knew he was trying to steady himself.

"Murph, that's hardly the same fuckin' thing. The pace we were goin' then, well somethin' was bound ta happen."

"I'd rather be goin' that fuckin' pace than stopped."

"Things were a bit fuckin' easier back then, weren't they?"

"It's always easier when ye don't know what the fuckin' stakes are, m'boys." Da's voice made them both turn. He stood in the doorway, looking not quite awake. "It may not seem like it, but we much fuckin' better off now."

"How?" Murphy's question was soft and Connor glanced over to find that he was staring at some fixed point across the room. Da moved to sit in one of the chairs, facing both of them.

"We know what we're facin'. We've see the other team's best fuckin' game."

"Aye but we're hardly half a fuckin' village size team facing the World Cup fuckin' champs. Knowin' their fuckin' game does us no good if we can't prepare against it." The sigh came out quickly and Connor realized it'd been a long time since he'd seen his brother this bothered by something. "Even with the fuckin' girls runnin' interference for us."

"What are ye talkin' about, Murphy?" Da frown grew steadily darker as Connor quickly filled him in on the girls' plan. He tapped his thumb against his lower lip and looked at them seriously. "And how do the two of ye feel about this?"

"I'm against it. But it appears that we haven't got a fuckin' choice in the matter." Muting the television, Connor shifted so that he could see both Murphy and Da at the same time.

"Katie made some good arguments."

"Like what, Murph?" Da leaned forward. He patted his pockets and sighed, realizing he didn't have a cigar on him.

"They most likely have Sara's name through Davis, so if she doesn't act fuckin' normal and take the project, they might look closer at her."

Connor shook his head. "But it wasn't fuckin' normal for her ta take the project. She's turned down his last few ones."

"Aye, but do those who matter know that?" Da asked, eyebrows raised. Connor shrugged.

"No fuckin' idea, really."

The bathroom door opened and Murphy gave a short shake to his head. "Let's finish this fuckin' conversation later." His voice was low. Da nodded in agreement and Connor turned the volume of the television back up.

He was more unsettled now than anything after talking with his brother. Murphy was the typical worrier of the two of them, but usually he had more faith in them than this. But then again, he knew that they had to start feeling the stress of the situation sooner or later. Apparently his brother had picked sooner.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sara managed somehow to keep her mind on her work and completed the outline for her newest article. It was to go to print in just two days, so she knew she really needed to keep on the work she actually got paid for today. But the manila folder in her briefcase kept calling to her. However, with the exception of a brief brainstorming moment on her coffee break, she'd managed to avoid getting sidetracked by it.

The sound of knocking broke her concentration and she realized as she saw Katie grinning at her that it was nearly noon.

"Wow, cool office." Katie's eyes wandered the wall, not bothering to stop at the diploma as Connor's had, but rather taking in the nice desk and sleek office chair. "I can't wait until I'm grown up enough to need a desk."

"Yeah, what are your plans, Katie? Besides hooking on the weekends." Sara held back a laugh as her friend's eyes widened and she glanced quick behind her.

"Watch it or you'll have your co-workers thinking you hang out with prostitutes."

"Apparently that's one career you don't want?"

"No. And I don't know what to do now. I was barely surviving on what I was getting paid by the Fetitta's in New York. I just got lucky that my great Aunt willed me that apartment in Brooklyn. Otherwise, I would have been a cardboard box dweller."

"You can't go back to the mob anyhow. I forbid it." Pressing her lips together, Sara gave Katie a look. Katie just shook her head.

"I just meant that that's all I've done since college. In other words, I have no experience that I can actually put down on a resume." Fixing Sara with an impatient glance, she nodded toward the door. "We can worry about my future later. Let's see what we can do about the McManuses' present."

"And get lunch. I'm starved."

Katie grinned. "Of course. We are multi-tasking woman."

Leaving Sara's office quickly, they got outside before Katie held up her finger and stopped. "Actually, can we stop at McGinty's first?"

"You were thinking a liquid lunch than? Margaritas and beernuts?"

"No, Sara. I need to talk to Doc."

"Okay…but I was willing." Sara kept her voice teasing as she saw the way that Katie was fidgeting with the cross around her neck. "Okay, so what's going on?"

"I just wanted to double check on something. Something that has been bothering me."

"About what?"

"Well, Murph told me that they think they have a mole somewhere. And I want to make sure I don't already know who it is."

Not sure of what else to say, Sara just nodded and followed the suddenly quiet Katie to the pub. After they got in through the heavy front door, she had to let her eyes adjust to the dim lighting.

"K-k-katie!" Doc's voice sang out from behind the bar and they both turned to find him grinning widely at them. "A-and Sara, of course. Good t-t-ta see ye b-b-b-both." He turned his head to the side. "FUCK! ASS!"

"Hey, Doc. How have you been?" Katie slid up onto one of the stools and leaned on the counter in front of him. Sara followed her, now suddenly unsure of just how long they were going to stay.

"G-good. What c-c-c…what'll ye b-be havin'?"

"Just water. We can't stay for long. I just had a question for you, Doc."

With very little effort, he produced two glasses of ice water and leaned on the counter across from Katie. "Sure, m'd-dear. S-s-shoot."

"Did you know where the McManuses went when they went to New York?"

"Aye, but I d-don't know if I knew m-m-much b-before they left. Pat w-w-wasn't too sure th-then."

"Did you know where they were going to stay?"

"Wasn't it somewhere in Brooklyn, Doc?" Tommy's voice echoed as he stepped out of the backroom behind the bar. He gave a smile to both of the girls before looking at Doc.

"Aye, b-but I don't think I kn-knew beforehand." He glanced over at Tommy as he answered before turning with a shrug to the girls. "I think I j-j-just kn-knew they were goin' ta N-new York."

Sara tilted her head as she watched Katie nod in agreement, unsure of what she was trying to find out here. She said something about trying to figure out who the informant was. Or at least to make sure that she didn't know who it was. But what did this have to do with it?

"But Tommy, do you remember what location you said when you asked me if they got there?"

He looked at Katie for a long moment then blinked and shrugged. "I said something besides New York? Why do you ask?" Picking up the cloth near their end of the bar, he started wiping things down, moving various things as he went.

Katie moved her head to Sara and met her gaze for a moment before smiling. "We had a debate as to where we thought they were going before they left. Sara thought they said Manhattan. I couldn't remember, but knew it wasn't Manhattan."

Tommy looked at her strangely again. "No, I don't think it was Manhattan." He picked up Sara's purse and then wiped under it. The purse slipped out from under his arm to the floor behind the bar. He disappeared for a moment before handing it back to Sara with a charming smile. "Sorry. I'm a klutz. But I swear I don't remember anything about Manhattan."

"See, I told you." Katie grinned at her and Sara nodded in response even though she had no idea what was going on. They'd had no such debate so she figured it was just Katie's way of getting answers.

"Eh, I'm sometimes wrong. Don't get used to it, Kat."

"Don't worry, I won't." She smiled back and slid off of her stool. Nodding at Doc, she turned toward the door. "Thanks. See you later, Doc."

Sara noticed the lack of a goodbye to Tommy but just grinned at the both of them and followed Katie out. It was only once they were outside that she noticed that Katie had started chewing on the side of her thumb.

"Isn't that Murphy's habit?" She pulled Katie's hand from her mouth. Giving her a distracted smile, Katie shrugged and pulled out her phone.

"Speaking of, I need to call him."

"What's going on?" Putting her hand on her friend's elbow, Sara scanned the street for a place to sit down and eat lunch. She spied a Subway just down the block before Katie responded.

"I don't really know." Katie finally sighed. Risking only a glance at her, Sara guided them through the pedestrian traffic.

"Don't know what?"

"It's just a feeling."

"Yeah, well, from what I remember, your feelings sometimes mean something."

"What?" Katie pressed a number on her phone and put it to her ear. Sara just shook her head and didn't answer. Apparently Katie's attention was not going to be on her answer anyhow. After a few seconds she hung up the phone, making a face. "Shit, of course he's not answering."

"What's going on, Katie?"

"I swear that when Tommy asked me about them, he asked if they got to Queens, not New York."

"Why Queens? Didn't they stay in Brooklyn? At your apartment?"

"Well, yeah." Katie shoved her phone back into her purse. "But I didn't tell them about my place until right before they left. There's no way Doc would've known."

"Well, still, why would he say Queens?"

"I don't think he meant to. Or maybe he didn't think I'd notice. Queens is where their hit was."

Sara's eyes widened as she stared at Katie. "And they got pushed off the road as they were going from Queens to Brooklyn on the way home."

"Exactly." She nodded, pressed her lips together. "But I don't like him. And I don't know if that's why I'm so willing to accuse him."

"And you think Murphy likes him any better? I know he drives Connor nuts."

Katie shrugged. "I don't think they necessarily like him better. But they know him better. And they know Doc. So I was just going to give them a heads up. A red flag or whatever. I could be completely off."

"But if you aren't…"

"They need to know."

"Exactly." Sara opened the door to Subway and nodded for Katie to go in. They stood in the short line, both uncharacteristically quiet for the moment. As they neared the counter, Katie glanced back.

"After we eat, let's stop by and talk with Smecker. He might have some ideas for this."

Sara nodded slowly, thinking. "Yeah, I'd thought about maybe asking Peter, if we could find him. I completely forgot about your easy access to Smecker. Must be nice to have an FBI man in your pocket." She winked at Katie who just grinned.

"Yeah, it'll soon become the new 'in' thing. Kind of like having a gay best friend is currently the 'in' thing in New York. Wow, Smecker could be, like, the total half-step in-between fads."

"What?"

"Ah, well, there's a greater chance that Smecker would have a crush on Connor than on you. Let's just put it that way."

"Huh." Sara grinned. "I guess you can't always tell."

"Yeah, well talk to Smecker a few more times. You might just get a few hints of it." Stepping up to the counter, Katie smiled. "But he's never obvious about it."

With her eyes on the menu above, Sara just shook her head again. Yet another thing to observe.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Connor sighed again as he watched Murphy continue to surf the five channels available. It took all of his might not to tear the control from his brother's hands. Oprah passed, than some commercial, public programming, Maury, another commercial, Oprah again. Pushing off the couch, he moved to the kitchen and grabbed a beer. He'd need it the way this day was going.

"Christ, and I thought I was impatient." Murphy grinned from the couch. Connor just glared back at him.

"Has nothin' ta fuckin' do with impatience. I'm fuckin' bored."

"Watch TV with me."

"If ye'd stay on one fuckin' channel, I would."

"It's three o'clock. All the soaps are fuckin' over. And nothin' else is as fuckin' easy ta make fun of." Murphy shook his head. Connor snorted.

"Than turn the fuckin' thing off."

"Why, so we can both be fuckin pissy and bored?" He tossed the remote to Connor. "Here, you fuckin' choose than."

Connor pressed the power button, shutting off the television and picked up Murphy's phone from the table. He tossed it to Murphy. "Here, let this entertain ye. Ye missed a fuckin' call."

Frowning, Murphy stared down at his phone, checking the call log. "Fuck, how the fuck did I miss Katie's call? That might explain why she's not fuckin' home yet."

"Miss her already? How sad." Connor grinned as he said it although he could understand the feeling. He already couldn't wait to see Sara after she got off of work.

"Shut it, Conn. I don't fuckin' _miss_ her. I just wonder where she fuckin' was. She went ta lunch with Sara over three hours ago."

"Aye, but ye know how the girls are. Maybe we should just go ta the fuckin' pub already. Da said somethin' about a rematch with Doc with their fuckin' chess games." Connor's ears perked up when he heard a cell phone ringing. Murphy held up his with a shake of his head. Glancing around, his eyes landed on the light spilling out of his coat pocket. "Or, maybe that's yer Katie now. She's callin' the dependable McManus twin now."

"Just fuckin' answer it."

Dodging the pillow Murphy threw at him, Connor slipped the phone from his coat pocket. He wrinkled his forehead as he saw Sara's name on the caller ID. She was supposed to be back at work by now. Pressing 'Send' he answered it. "Hello?"

There was just silence on the other line. Turning away from Murphy to hear better, he tried again. "Hello? Sara? Ye there?"

Labored breathing came through the earpiece, followed by a scream that made him jump. Chills shivered down his spine as the phone slipped through his fingers. He made a grab for it and ended up face down on the floor, holding the phone back to his ear. "Sara! Sara? Answer me! Hello?"

The sounds of running footsteps echoed through and were cut off by heavy silence. "Hello? Sara?" Connor was barely aware he was yelling and fought the hand that pulled the phone away from his ear.

"Conn. Conn! The call's ended." Murphy's voice was quiet and near his face. Connor's eyes moved up to see that his brother was crouched down and watching him, a concerned look on his face. "What the fuck just happened?"

His breaths came quickly as he tried to think. _She was fuckin' screamin'. Somebody had ta fuckin' do somethin' ta her. She tried ta call fer fuckin' help. _It was only Murphy's eyes still on his face that made him realize he needed to respond. Needed to make his brother understand what was going on.

Pushing himself off the ground, Connor stood up quickly, rubbing his hand over his face and pacing a few steps. He forced himself to take a few breaths before looking at Murphy. "Sara. Her phone. That's who called. There was silence. Then this weird fuckin' breathin'. Than she screamed. Christ, Murph. We've got ta find her."

Panic spread through his chest, making it near impossible to breathe deeply and he blindly pulled his keys off the table. Images of her being dragged down some dark alley made his hands clench around the metal keys. His coat was in his hand as he started pulling his brother toward the door. "We've got ta go. Someone's fuckin' got her, Murph."

Murphy put his arm around Connor's chest and pressed him against the open door. "Now hold on a fuckin' minute, Conn. Ye got ta stop for a second here. Ye don't even fuckin' know where ta go ta find her. Ye don't even know if she's really been taken."

"I heard her fuckin' scream, Murphy!" He hardly recognized his own voice as he yelled at his twin.

"Are ye sure it was her? That's all I'm fuckin' askin', Conn. Call her back. Call her work. Make sure that she just didn't lose her fuckin' cell phone." Murphy let go and stepped back, holding Connor's phone out to him. "I'll do whatever ye fuckin' need me ta do, Conn. Just make sure ye know she's not at fuckin' work first."

His fingers shook as he dialed her work number and his hand found Murphy's shoulder as the rings echoed in his ear. Sara's voice mail picked up after four rings. Blood rushed to his head, pressure building in his ears as he lowered the phone slowly. His eyes fell on Murphy, whose lips were pressed together.

"No answer?"

"Fuckin' voice mail."

"Call her apartment. I'll call Katie. Maybe they're together." Murphy's eyes widened at his words but neither of them spoke their shared thought. They didn't need to. Connor clenched his teeth. The girls had been together. Could still be together. But where?

_Just fuckin' be home playin' sick. Be playin' a fuckin' prank on me. I'll forgive ye, please. _Words formed into prayers, whirling through Connor's mind as he found Sara's apartment number. His left hand clenched at his rosary as his right pressed 'Send'. _Be home. Be home. Just be fuckin' home._ After four long rings, her answering machine clicked on and Connor had to fight to not throw the phone.

"She's not fuckin' answerin' either." The fear in Murphy's voice made him turn around and they both just stared at each other. "What the fuck is goin' on, Conn?"

Yet another question he couldn't answer for Murphy. He quickly redialed Sara's cell phone number as a last hope. It skipped directly to voice mail. His eyes feel back on Murphy and he saw the frantic look on his face.

Connor knew then he had to be calm now. He had to feel numb. If he fell apart, there would be nothing stopping Murphy from doing the same. Watching him chew on the edge of his thumb, he sighed. Wrapping his hand over his twin's fist, he pulled the thumb away from his mouth, realizing he hadn't done that since they were children and Murphy had bitten through the skin three times during their grandfather's funeral. The blood had run down their joined hands then, staining the knee of Murphy's trousers permanently.

Taking a deep breath, Connor stared down at their joined hands now. "We'll find 'em, Murph. But let's go get Da, first."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Murphy's heart raced in time with their hurried steps to McGinty's. Connor's hand reached the door handle first, pulling it open for the both of them. Murphy followed him in, the sound of their boots announcing their entrance.

Da sat alone at the bar and looked up as they moved toward him. At the sight of their faces, he frowned deeply and stood up. "What's the matter, boys?"

"I got a fuckin' call-" Connor started but his rushed words were cut off by the sudden appearance of a flustered Doc. Murphy saw his breathing was heavy and rushed around behind the bar, putting his hand on the bartender's shoulder.

"Is it yer heart, Doc? Sit down." For the moment his concern for Doc pushed away the panic to the back of his mind. But Doc took another large breath and knocked his hands away.

"No, I'm f-f-fuckin' alright. B-but I'm glad ye b-b-boys a-are here. Ryan just c-c-c-called."

"Who is Ryan?" Da asked and Murphy waved a hand at him.

"Tommy's little brother. Go on, Doc."

"H-h-he s-saw s-s-s-some…" Doc struggled with his words and took another large breath.

"Slow down, Doc. Let the fuckin' words come on their own." Connor leaned against the counter. Murphy could see the tension in him and knew his brother was as impatient as he was. But neither of them would dare interrupt Doc since it seemed so important.

"H-he saw s-some Russian b-bastards c-c-c-carryin' a blonde w-w-woman inta the o-o-old fuckin' w-warehouse. Said she l-looked like S-s-s-"

"Sara." Connor whispered and Doc nodded his response, his eyes wide behind his glasses. Da put a hand on his shoulder but Murphy just shook his head in disbelief. _No fuckin' way._

"What old warehouse, Doc?"

"T-t-the one on th-the fuckin' north s-s-side of the s-s-south end."

"The one I told ye about, Doc?" Da's eyes widened and he stared at Doc who simply nodded. "Fuck. Katie's warehouse."

"They just saw a blonde woman with them?" The words tumbled out of Murphy's mouth and Doc nodded again slowly.

"Murph, it's too fuckin' much ta be a coincidence."

"Th-they were t-t-together this a-a-afternoon. They s-stopped in." Doc added to Connor's comment.

"When?" Murphy demanded, leaning toward Doc.

"Around n-noon."

He nodded mutely to Doc answer and felt the emotions swarm him. The panic, the desperation, the fear. If he didn't move quickly, they would paralyze him. And that would kill him. Raising his eyes to meet Connor's, he stared at his brother. Connor's jaw was clenched but his face was calm.

That was one thing Murphy had always admired about his brother. Emotions ruled Murphy but Connor had always been use his to his advantage. He turned them into action, into something kinetic and functional. Something more than tantrums and tears. He'd done it with the Russians that first night at McGinty's and he'd done it again to save Murphy's life in the alley. And now, Murphy realized as he watched the only trace of his brother's emotions swim in his eyes, now Connor would use it to save their girls. And maybe, in the end, to save themselves.

"Let's go." His brother spoke the words out loud only seconds after nodding slowly to Murphy.

"We've got ta talk ta Smecker first, m'boys. See if he knows anythin'."

Silently, Murphy nodded in agreement, giving Doc one final nod before following his brother and Da out of the bar. His heart pounded against the harsh noise of the city as they moved toward the precinct. _We have ta find them. We will fuckin' find them. _His heart clenched in his chest as the thought he'd been holding back finally surfaced. _ What if we don't find them?_


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: A bit short, but I was afraid of death threats. Not that this is going to help me any... :)  
**

"Fuck!" Sara's muttered voice became louder and Katie looked up from the notepad in front of her. She glanced around the library quickly before frowning across the table at Sara.

"Keep it down, genius. We're in a fuckin' public place here."

Sighing heavily, Sara raised her eyes to Katie. "I can't find my fuckin' phone."

"Holy shit, Batman, a national emergency."

"Katie." Glaring at her, Sara pushed her purse back onto the table. "It was in there when we left my office. Think I left it at Smecker's office?"

"Well, considering we left there over two hours ago, I'd say he should've found it by now. And he would've called me if he'd found it. Where else could you have lost it?"

"McGinty's or Subway. Wait, maybe it fell out when Tommy dropped it."

"Well, let's just stop by there when we get finished here."

"Why don't you call? See if they even have it."

Glancing at the clock above the front desk, Katie shook her head. It was a little after four. Even on a Thursday, the bar would be beginning to get busy with their pre-five o'clock rush right about now. "There's no way they'll hear the phone now."

"Well, I think we are pretty much done anyway. As far as we can go. Especially now that Smecker is demanding approval before we do anything."

"If anyone contacts you. Besides, Paul's watching our backs here. We're pretty lucky he didn't take this off our hands as it is. That was the bad part about getting him involved."

Sara made a face. "It's my fucking project. What is it with these guys?"

"They care. And unfortunately, that gives them the right to at least speak their mind about things." Sighing, Katie slid the notepad back to Sara, who slipped it into her purse.

"This is good. I feel good about this now that we've got it this far."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. And Paul said he'd have those fake files into the computer by tomorrow. Jack and Bryan O'Malley will be available for mafia interest soon and that means that our guys can finally find some relief." Biting her lip, Katie met Sara's gaze. "I just wish it could be like that permanently."

"Even we're not that good. I just hope they know what they're doing, Katie." Slapping her hands onto the chair arms, Sara pushed herself out of her seat. She led the way out of the library and Katie followed silently.

As they reached the bright late afternoon light, Katie pulled out her cell phone to turn the sound back on. She'd turned it off when they'd arrived at the library. Frowning, she stopped and leaned closer when she saw that she had a missed call. "Hummm…Murphy called."

"What about?"

Katie grinned. "I don't know. He didn't leave a message. Probably just calling me back."

"Better late than never. Hope he didn't try my cell too."

"Fuck, I doubt it. I'm surprised he even called me back."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Smecker ran the side of his thumb across his bottom lip again as he stared at the far wall in front of him. He shouldn't be sitting at his desk. He shouldn't be in his office. He should be with the Saints. Helping them. Making sure they don't get themselves into more trouble.

But he was stuck. Stuck by the lie he had to uphold in the life he currently lived. His real life had become the one where he could help the Saints. And in an ironic twist, his life as an agent had become his false life, his personal undercover operation. Even with his training to hold his position no matter what, it took all of his might not to run to the warehouse to burst in with guns blazing alongside the Saints. Alongside his makeshift family.

The door to his office flew open and he raised his eyes, prepared to verbally assault the idiot who dared to interrupt him. But he paused when he saw it was Peter Shafer, his eyes wide and hair sticking up at all angles. And all Smecker could think was that Katie's brother knew.

"Peter."

"Agent Smecker." He breathed in heavily and shut the door behind him. Leaning against it, he kept his eyes fixed on Smecker's face.

Sighing, Smecker stood up and stepped to the side of his desk. "Peter, you should sit down. I'll give you all the details."

"No, I've got to fill you in first. They've set a trap."

"I know, Peter. They've got them already. But the McManuses are doing all they can to find them and bring them home safely."

"The McManuses?" Peter frowned at him, stepping away from the door. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Sara…and possibly Katie. They might have been taken this afternoon by the mafia."

Shaking his head, Peter's eyes widened and focused on a spot across the room. "No fucking way. No. The trap wasn't for the girls. That much I understood."

"What are you talking about, Peter? What did you hear?"

"The trap. Fuck, the trap is for the Saints, Smecker. And it's in process right now. And my cover is useless now. But we've got to find them."

The air caught in Smecker's throat as he stared at Peter, and the sound of his heart thudding in his chest was suddenly the loudest thing in the room. The trap was for the Saints. "Goddammit, Peter. And they just walked right fucking into it."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Katie had never seen McGinty's closed before. At least not this close to happy hour. But the sign was up and the windows were dim. Something deep within her gut urged her to try the door anyway and she was surprised when it opened slowly. Sharing a puzzled look with Sara, they both entered but stayed close together.

It was quiet. Without the laughing and talking, the pub seemed dead and Katie had to fight the crawling tension that spread upwards from her lower back. Something was wrong.

"Christ, I hope Doc's okay." She kept her voice low and glanced back at Sara, who nodded slowly.

"Yeah, this place didn't even close last time he had heart problems. This can't be a good sign."

Her gut twisted at the echo-like quality to their quiet whispers against the wood walls. Taking a deep breath, she stepped forward and leaned her hands on the bar. "Doc? Tommy? Hello?"

A slight creak answered her from the back room but no words were called out in response. Images of an unconscious Doc pressed into her brain and Katie moved around the bar. _Or it could be a break-in. But why would the bar be closed?_ Waving her hand, she motioned for Sara to stay up behind the bar as she checked the back room.

Her shoes made slight scuffing sounds against the wood but there was still no sound of a response. Easing around the corner, a sudden movement made her jump. Swallowing her scream, she let out a long sigh when she saw it was just Tommy staring up at the shelves of supplies. Katie crossed her arms over her chest. "Tommy?"

He turned quickly, frowning and seeming surprised to see her. "Katie? What are you doing here?"

"Ah…Sara forgot her phone. I came back to get it. Didn't you hear me call out?"

Shaking his head slowly, he gave her a funny look. "No."

_How could he have not heard me? I heard the floor creak clearly from out there._ Tilting her head, she continued to look at him. "Why is the bar closed?"

"Oh….ah, Doc had another heart attack. He's in the hospital. They're holding him overnight."

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, he'll be fine."

"Well, why are you here? And why isn't the bar open?"

"He, ah…he told me not to open it. Wanted to open himself again once he got back out." Tommy shrugged and gave her a half smile before moving toward her. Katie stepped back into the hallway, making room for him to pass her and go up to the bar.

She narrowed her eyes at him as he shut the storeroom door. "Tommy, why are you lying to me?" The words slipped out before she could stop them, but by the look in his eyes, she knew she was right. _I knew that couldn't be true. Murphy would've left a message if that was true._

"I'm not."

"You just did it again. Where is Doc? What the fuck is going on here?"

Glaring down at her, Tommy shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned forward. "You think you are so smart. You all think you are so much better than me." The gun slipped out of his pocket and into her face before she realized his hands had even moved. "And now I'm going to prove that you are all just a bunch of fucking idiots."

"Tommy." Her voice had gotten higher, but she could barely hear it over the rushing sound in her head as she stared at the black metal that was barely a foot from her face.

"They thought they could get around the law. And they thought they could escape the mafia. But they can't get around me."

"Put the gun down, Tommy" Katie forced herself to concentrate on the face behind the gun, blurring the gun out of focus. The images of the hands were back, covering her vision and she blinked hard. _Just metal and plastic._

"For ten fucking years I've watched them win over Doc and win over this entire fucking neighborhood. At first it was because they were from the homeland. And then they fucking convinced people they were practically fucking godly. And just when you think fucking killing people would prove to everybody what they truly are, these fucking idiots make them the Saints. Their fucking words just pave their path in gold and nobody…fucking nobody would listen to me." He paused finally in his rants and waved the gun in her face.

Closing her eyes briefly against the bile rising in her throat, Katie fought at the fear that was clawing to get out of her. Her eyes were opened again quickly and focused on the gun. _Just plastic and metal, Katie. Metal and plastic. Fuck, Murph, this metal and plastic is going to kill me!_ The lump in her throat began to cut off her breathing.

"Look what it takes to get someone to listen to me. Katie, look!" His words brought her back to staring at his face and the gun moved again. He smiled slowly. "Exactly. It takes a gun. You're listening to me now, aren't you?"

Swallowing hard, she nodded slowly. "Yeah, Tommy. I'm listening. But how is this going to help you?"

"You're past helping me, Katie. You coming here just saved me tracking you down. Because, I knew you were starting to figure me out. That whole question thing about New York didn't work with me. Because I knew I slipped up that day. And you just couldn't forget it, like I hoped you would."

"I couldn't let you continue…" The words stuck in her throat and she just stared at him. Her mind was beginning to move beyond the gun, despite the fact that it was there, taunting her, now less than ten inches away. She was right. He was the leak. The fucking mole.

"It's so cute. How you think you can save them. Well, fuck, Katie. It's beyond your control now."

Her lips parted slightly but she could find no words as she watched him grin even more. _Beyond my control? What has he done?_ "What did you do, Tommy?"

"It was so sweet. They think they're saving you and Sara." He laughed softly. "Humm, I guess that kind of makes you the cause of their death. That almost makes me want to leave you alive. But you just know too much. And the sad part is that I think I might have liked you in other circumstances."

"I would've hated you no matter what. What did you do to them?" She managed to bite off the words, the gun no longer her sole focus. _They are going to get caught. Fuck, we've got to find them. We. Sara. Where is Sara? _Biting her lip, she continued to look up at Tommy, working hard to keep only the fear on her face. She had to keep him talking, keep him distracted. Had to keep him from finding Sara. She couldn't have anyone else getting hurt because of her.

"I've led the Yakavetta's to them. It's in their hands now. Although, you might be able to imagine what might happen next. You were held the very same place by the very same family."

_The warehouse._ She could still smell the stale mold and a shiver danced down her spine. And she knew that what she'd experienced was nothing compared to what they'd do to the McManuses. She had to get away. Had to do something.

But her planning was cut short as Tommy pressed the cold metal of the gun against her forehead. "I can't stay here much longer. So, I'm afraid I'll have to kill you now." There was some surprising regret in his eyes as his thumb reached back to cock the gun.

His thumb never made it, instead pausing only a whisper away before Tommy crumbled in slow motion in a shower of glass and liquid. A sob caught in Katie's throat as she threw herself out of the way and the gun fell to the ground with a clatter. A pale Sara stood over his body, a half broken bottle in her shaking fist. Whiskey permeated the air around them.

Katie raised a shaking hand to her mouth to cover the sob as her eyes met Sara's. They both just stared at each other silently for a moment. Then Sara stepped forward and Katie found herself in a tight embrace. She kept her eyes on the still breathing but unconscious Tommy.

"I'm sorry. I was so scared. Oh, God, Katie." The words came out all jumbled and trembling but Katie found she could only nod into Sara's shoulder. The lump had closed off her throat but the tears wouldn't come.

_The warehouse. The Saints. They had to get to them. They had to save them. _Rubbing her hand quickly down Sara's back, she pulled away and swallowed hard. "We need to go."

"Fuck, they were fucking trapped because of us." Sara pressed her lips together and tears filled her eyes. "We have to get them out, Katie."

"I know, Sara. We will. But let's get out of here first." Her words sounded brave but Katie could barely think. Her heart felt like it was clenched in a fist and her mind was struggling with the new information. _The warehouse. A trap. The Saints._ Glancing down, her eyes fell on the gun that had flipped away from Tommy's right hand.

Reaching down, her fingers closed around it and she had to fight the temptation not the throw it. They would need it. Stuffing it into her purse, an idea began to form in her head and she raised her eyes back to Sara.

"I know that look." She sniffed.

Katie pressed her lips together for a moment. "We might be able to do something."

"Okay." Sara nodded slowly and Katie saw she was beginning to work past the fear. She wiped the tears away, following her away from Tommy and back up toward the bar. "What are you thinking?"

"I think I know a way I can get in there. And if I get in there, there's a chance I can get them out. I know that warehouse."

"Okay." Sara pushed open the door and they stepped outside into the light. Neither of them thought again about Tommy, now that they had the gun and now that the Saints needed them. "Okay, so how are you planning on getting in, Katie? And what can I do?"

"Well, you can keep the car running. Be our getaway driver. Because we're going to need it. And…" Katie raised her eyes up to look straight at Sara. "And I'm going to need to borrow your mini skirt again."


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Yeah, it worked. And now I'm done! Sorry for the wait, again. Thanks for all the great reviews! They make my day, sometimes even my week. :):) Updated to actually seperate the POVs. Sorry about that screwup, it appears that underscores do not work with the document editor! Good to know, good to know.  
**

Katie stared into her own face in the bathroom mirror and felt numb. They were being held in the warehouse. Her warehouse. _And it's our fault. How the fuck did this happen?_

They needed to act quickly but she was having trouble getting herself to move at the moment. Closing her eyes, she thought quickly about what she needed to do. What needed to happen had seemed so clear when they'd left McGinty's but now she was unsure of the individual steps.

She imagined rushing in, finding them and freeing them to escape with her. No guns, no violence but there was little hope of anything being that simple. Tommy's gun was in her purse, mocking her and she knew she'd need to take it in. Adding a gun to the mixture would almost guarantee some need for it. But it wasn't worth the risk of going in without it.

Her hands shook as she pulled the mini-skirt on, zipping it slowly up the side. The halter still fit snuggly and Katie wanted to get them both off of her. Instead, she straightened her hair as she fought the instinct. She didn't want to do this. But she had to. There was little choice if she was going to get the Saints out alive.

The light caught the silver chain around her neck as she leaned closer to the mirror and her fingers running over the cross that hung beneath the red fabric. Murphy's cross. She reached up to take it off but paused in the act, eyeing the swinging metal in the mirror. He claimed it would protect her, as his rosary protected him.

Biting her lip, she dropped her hands away, straightening the cross beneath the halter. There was only one option, really. She'd keep it on. His rosary would protect him; she had to believe that. It kept her sane, kept her moving, kept her from falling apart. And if she believed that, than leaving the necklace on seemed like the only logical thing to do. A little extra guidance and protection couldn't hurt.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sara watched from the doorway of her bedroom as Katie touched up her eye makeup again, her hands seemingly steady. Their eyes met in the mirror and the tears came before she could stop them. "Katie."

"Sara." Katie swallowed hard and crossed the room in three large teetering steps, wrapping her arms tightly around Sara as she reached her.

The fear had enveloped them both so quickly but neither of them could show it. Images of a bleeding Connor, of a dead Connor flashed before Sara's eyes and she pressed her face into Katie's shoulder. She couldn't think that way, wouldn't think that way. But the fear still tap-danced down her spine and she took a shaky breath.

Katie simply held her tighter. "This is going to work. We'll get them back."

Sara nodded because she knew it was the truth. They would get them back, no matter what they had to do. It was the biggest change that she had noticed in Katie since finding her again so recently. In situations that needed action, Katie acted. There was little hesitation in decisions that others might never be able to make. And there was little that she wouldn't sacrifice to get things done.

There'd been a certain level of humiliation that Katie had put up with the last time she had gone in as a prostitute. It wasn't something that either of the McManus twins had picked up on and it wasn't something that Katie herself had mentioned. But it was something that an old friend could notice instantly. And it was why Sara had known something had happened, long before Connor had filled her in on the details.

And it was something she knew Katie was going to go through again. But she couldn't allow herself to stop her. They needed the boys back, no matter what they had to do to get them. Sighing, Sara leaned her head against Katie's. "I wish I could do more."

"You can be my pimp."

"What?" Sara pulled back, laughing softly.

"My pimp. Every self-respecting hooker has one."

"And what would that job entail?"

"Staying in that car and being ready to pull away no matter what." Katie straightened her right heel and picked her purse up off of the bed. Her fingers shook a little as she shifted Tommy's gun inside but neither of them mentioned it.

Sara nodded slowly. "Okay. I can do that. But are you sure there isn't something else I can do to keep you safe?"

"Just stay there and be ready for anything."

They were both quiet as they left the apartment. Nerves fought against Sara's attempt at staying calm as she drove them both to the warehouse. The only evidence that Katie felt the same way was the edge to her voice as she directed her there. Apparently this wasn't the first time she sought out the location of it.

It was only as she pulled into the alley that Katie finally looked at her, and at first she didn't say anything. Sara shut the car off and turned to face her, waiting for what she knew would be coming. But Katie's words of warning never came out. She simply lowered her eyes for a moment before sighing.

"Do me a favor, Sar. Call Smecker. See if he can call Peter. I never got a number for him." She handed her phone over.

Sara nodded. "Okay, what can I tell them?"

"Everything. They need to know everything."

"But what are they going to be able to do?

Her hands played at the edge of the mini skirt as Katie stared out front windshield. "If this doesn't work…if I can't get them out, we're going to need Smecker."

"We'll get them out, Katie. No matter what."

Her eyes found Sara's and she nodded slowly. "You're right. We will. But if I'm not back in 30 minutes, drive away. You loiter too long here, they'll get suspicious."

"No, Katie."

"Sara, just do it. But I should be back before then. One way or the other." She opened the door without a second glance back. The sound of it slamming shut again sent a cold wave through Sara's body. Now all she had to do was to call Smecker and wait. And somehow, she knew that dealing with an irate Smecker would be the easy part.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The warehouse creaked around Katie as she slipped in the back entrance. Her stomach revolted at the smells around her but she fought against it, continuing to move inward. The blurred images of being cuffed to chairs surfaced despite her successful resistance against it for the past two weeks. She could be sick later. She could remember later. Later when she knew the boys and Da were alive and safe again. For now, she couldn't afford the energy for it.

The sound of a clearing throat ahead made her jump and she silently cursed herself. She knew someone would be there, watching them. She counted on someone being there. How else would she get the keys to the handcuffs?

Rounding the tall stack of crates, she was startled again when she found herself staring into a familiar face. Frankie stared down at her, his face lost in confusion between a sneer and a glare. Apparently he didn't know how to react to seeing her again. Her heart raced as he finally settled on crossing his arms across his broad chest and smirking down at her.

"Whatta ya doing here?"

"I…I was looking for you. Again." Katie forced down any emotions, numbing herself before giving him what she hoped was a seductive smile. "We got interrupted last time."

"And how did you know I was here?" He backed her against the crates skillfully, his hand splaying her left breast and his breath hot on her ear.

Her mind spun fast and she let out a low laugh. "I know things. And I find what I'm looking for." She trailed a finger down his back.

"Peter tell ya?" His question caught her off guard and she tried to pull away from him. He held her tightly against him.

"Who's Peter, love?" She hoped her response was coy and she pressed her lips to his as a distraction. He couldn't know about Peter. _Fuck, what about Peter?_ Thoughts slammed through her brain as she tried to keep partial attention on what she was doing. She needed to find a way to get keys away from him. _How far am I willing to go to get these keys?_

The answer came to her as Frankie pulled her into a small room and shoved her up against the door, hard. _As far as needed._ His eyes were on her cleavage as he pulled the tied halter strap. The top of it fell down, revealing her black lacy bra.

His hands dug into her back as put his mouth close to her ear. "I didn't think even a whore like you would forget your dear brother."

Katie gasped in surprise as much as pain as Frankie swung her around and pressed her against the hard metal of the table. "My…my brother?" She tried to keep her voice even, but the shaking of it was clear.

"Yes, I know all about your brother. And I'll take care of him. But first, I'll have you." The weight of his body was on her suddenly, cutting of her air supply as his lips pressed harshly against hers.

She couldn't push down the fear this time and the panic welled up from her gut as she began to fight against him. His laughter filled the room and the pain burst in her cheek as his fist hit her.

"Keep it up. I like a good fight." His erection was hard against her leg and she found she couldn't breath. It was only the feeling of his hands stuffing up her skirt that kept her going.

Frankie shifted his weight slightly as his fingers found the line of her panties and Katie used that moment to take a deep breath. Her knee hit him hard and with the combination of her arms and legs, she managed to push him up off of her. His fingers dragged across her chest, ripping her necklace off as he lost his balance. It was the sickening thud of his head hitting the concrete floor that filled the room before it became silent.

Katie found she was sobbing and she couldn't remember when she'd started to cry. Her hands trembled as she retied the halter top and slid off of the table. Frankie's large form was stretched across the floor, unmoving.

Bile rose in her throat but she managed to keep from getting sick. Her hand covered her mouth and she found that she couldn't take her eyes off of him. _Oh my God. Oh my God._ The thought became a chant that danced through her head as she tried to calm herself down. Spots danced in front of her eyes before she realized she'd been holding her breath, waiting. Waiting for him to move, waiting for him to kill her.

And she realized as she heaved in air that he wasn't going to do anything. He was out cold. _But Murphy still needs me._ She moved and her eye caught the broken chain and cross that had landed only inches from Frankie's large hand. It had protected her.

Pulling the necklace off of the floor, she bunched it into her hand. She crouched down beside him, ready to roll away if he moved and searched his pocket for the keys she knew he had to have. It was on a small ring buried at the bottom of his left pocket. She breathed a sigh of relief as she was able to step away and tucked the key into her skirt pocket. Picking up her purse off of the floor, Katie backed out of the room quickly.

The warehouse was seemingly silent otherwise and she couldn't help but wonder if the mafia was really stupid enough to only have one man on guard duty. These were the fucking Saints for God's sake. But in the back of her mind, she knew there was a good chance Frankie had been alone for the moment. After all, there'd usually been only one mobster guarding both her and Janie when they were held there.

Creaks made her jump slightly and she glanced around her. _Let's hope Frankie really is the only one._ Taking another deep breath, Katie pressed her lips together. Her memories of the building were blurred and confused, but she still had a pretty good idea of where they'd held them. It was a good possible place to start. Sighing, she moved cautiously down the walkway.

The knob was cold beneath her fingertips as she reached the third room in the back hallway. The same fear rushed her as she turned the knob slowly. Putting her head inside was the hardest part. It was the answer to her question. _Who's inside?_ So far, she'd been lucky enough not to run into any other mobsters.

Breathing in slowly, she pulled the door open, hesitating only slightly before putting her head inside. Her eyes connected with Murphy's and they both stared at each other. As her heart skipped a beat, she slipped into the room and shut it softly behind her. The three McManus men sat in front of her, bloodied and beaten. And she had to fight not to show the fear and concern she felt. They'd deal with that later.

"Katie, get the fuck out o' here." The pained order came from Connor who sat to the left of a still wide-eyed Murphy.

"What are ye doin' here? How…" His whisper was what caught her attention and she stepped forward, her pulse racing.

"I'm here to get you three out of here. Are you okay?" She moved to Da. The clear-eyed look he gave her calmed her fears. He wasn't hurt as badly as she'd first thought.

"What the fuck happened ta yer face?" Murphy pulled at his restrained arms as she moved to him. Her hand found the sore spot along her cheek bone. She'd forgotten about it.

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"Katie, ye've got ta leave. It's not worth riskin' yer life here." Da's voice came from beside her but she just glanced at him.

"Not gonna happen. I didn't come all this way for nothing." She opened her hand that held the necklace, showing it to Murphy. "I'm putting this in your pocket. Don't lose it." His lips found hers and he kissed her gently. Katie forced herself to pull away. She couldn't get lost in that right now.

"Please, Katie. Go. Before they find ye too."

"Too late, Murph." She pulled the key out of her pocket and held it up. "Lucky for you, I'm good at finding things too." Moving to unlock Murphy first, she paused when he pulled his hands out of her grasp.

"Get Conn first. They've fuckin' pulled at his shoulder." His glance was on his brother, whose eyes were shut and his jaw clenched.

"Fuck. Connor, you okay?" She tried to keep her hands gentle as she moved to him. But he winced as she touched his arm.

"Get these fuckin' things off and I'll be much better."

"Hold still." Setting her purse down in front of her, she kneeled down behind him to get a better look. Thinking quickly, she glanced at the door. "First, I'm putting this in the back of your jeans."

"What?" He tried to glance behind him but winced and froze.

"It's Tommy's gun. Long story. And I don't want it." She reached through the back of the chair and lifted his shirt, pushing the gun down against the small of his back. Her hands shook as she fumbled with the key and went to work on the cuffs.

"The safety's fuckin' on, right Katie?" His question made her smile despite the situation.

"I'll let you decide that yourself." She could feel Murphy's eyes on her but didn't glance up. Connor's first cuff snapped open when she heard a sound from out in the hallway.

Her eyes widened as she pressed the key into Connor's palm and stood up. "Sara's got a car waiting in the alley. Go find her when you get free."

Grabbing her purse, she moved to the door, ignoring the surprised looks all three men were giving her. The door slammed open before she could prepare them.

Frankie limped in, his face red and his eyes angry. He puffed out air when he saw her near the door. His hand closed over her arm and Katie forced herself not to respond to Murphy's curse. She took a deep breath.

"Where's my brother, you bastard?"

The question caught them all off guard, and Frankie just looked at her.

"You said you'd take care of him. Where is he?" She found that it wasn't hard to make her voice shake. Her gut twisted as she realized that her concern should be real. He knew about Peter.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, you fuckin'slut?" He raised his hand as if to hit her again but her sharp intake of breath stopped him. The scrap of the chairs against the concrete didn't seem to faze him. He just smirked down at her. "I wouldn't worry about finding your brother, bitch. I'd worry about finding your God."

She heard the whispered voices of Connor and Murphy in a language she didn't understand but she lost her chance to glance back at them as Frankie yanked her out of the room. As the door slammed shut again, Katie wondered if that was the last time she would ever get the chance to hear their voices again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Murphy struggled against the restraints with new found energy as the door slammed. His chair squeaked forward with his movements. Connor's pained gasp filled the air behind him.

"Hold the fuck on, Murph. Ye'll tear yer fuckin' wrists up that way."

"I've got ta get ta her."

"Just gimme….fuck, I'm free." The sound of another chair scraping across the floor stopped his struggling and Murphy glanced back. Connor hands were warm on his wrists and he heard the click of the lock moments later. His left hand was free. It was only as his right hand was free that he worked on turning his chair around.

Connor grabbed the bottom of his chair with his left hand and helped pull him so that they were facing each other. Their eyes met only briefly before he started to work on the cuffs holding Murphy's ankles to the chair. Murphy leaned forward and found himself being pushed out of the way. "Get outta me fuckin' light here."

Long moments passed before both ankles were freed and Connor instantly leaned over to unlock his own. Murphy stepped away from his chair and Connor stood up from his own a moment later. As his brother moved to unlock Da, Murphy stood frozen in his spot. Katie. He had to save Katie. But he couldn't just leave his family behind. What if they needed him? _But she needs me!_ The thought echoed loudly through his head and Connor looked up at him, almost as if he heard it as well.

"Go, Murph. I've got this." He nodded toward the door quickly and kneeled down before Da to get his ankles free. Murphy hesitated again and Connor sighed but didn't look up. "Get the fuck outta here, Murphy. She needs ye more."

Nodding slowly, Murphy backed out of the room, leaving the door wide open behind him. As he got into the hallway, the smell of smoke filled the air and he coughed against it filling his lungs. Something was on fire! He needed to find Katie, fast!

His steps echoed lightly against the concrete and he heard the echo of a laugh from the far corner. Moving quickly between the crates, he worked his way toward them, his heart pounding. The room was hotter on this side, and he assumed that meant they were closer to whatever was on fire.

The sound of movement was behind him but he didn't glance back. Murphy recognized the sound of Connor's boots and knew his brother and Da weren't far behind. Stepping forward, the sight of Katie with her right arm hand cuffed to a pipe made him freeze. The man's back was to him but Katie's eyes found his quickly. Clenching his teeth, he stepped slowly toward the bigger man, hoping to catch him off guard.

But it was the sound of the gun shot that drove the fear into Murphy's heart. "Katie!" Her body jerked back

The man spun around and aimed his gun at Murphy who stood directly behind him, his eyes determined. But a second shot rang out before he could pull the trigger. The man fell with a bullet in his heart as Murphy rushed past him.

Her eyes were closed when he reached her, but her hand was still pressed over the wound on her left side. He bit back a cry as he pulled her hand away, pressing his hand over the wound himself. Connor's voice was in his ear and her arm was soon free from the pipe above them.

"Katie. Wake up. Katie." He wanted to touch her face but was afraid to let go of her wound. Afraid his need to touch her would kill her. A hand pulled at his shoulder but he fought it as he kept pressure on her.

She was shot. His Katie was shot. Trying to save him. The blood that now covered his hands and her shirt still managed to shock him, despite the number of times he'd seen abdominal wounds. He knew they were a sure kill shot. _Fuck, no! God, no!_ Arms came around him from behind and Murphy was surprised to find that he was rocking back and forth.

"Murph!" Connor's voice shouted next to his ear and he cut off his view of Katie by leaning in front of him. "We've got ta get her out of here. The fuckin' building's burnin' up."

His eyes were on his brother only briefly before Murphy finally looked around and saw the orange glow moved slowly over the tall stacks of crates. The nightmare. The fire. He found himself gasping for breath and he nodded slowly. Connor's hands covered his own, applying pressure over her wound.

"Carry her and I'll keep my hands here."

Da's shouted warnings surrounded them and Murphy nodded again. He slipped his hand from under Connor's and put his arms around Katie, lifting her and holding her tightly against him. He'd done this once before in this same warehouse, the day they'd found her. Only she hadn't been bleeding and the warehouse hadn't been on fire. And he hadn't loved her yet.

Another arm came around his shoulders and he felt Da lead him toward the door, Connor keeping in step with him, his eyes only on Katie. The night air was cool on their faces as they found their way out, but the blood was still warm on Murphy's hands as he carried her to the car.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Connor's heart raced as they neared the car. He wanted to put his arms around Sara and hold her tightly to him, but he kept his hands on Katie's wound instead. Sara's eyes widened as they reached the car and he could see the panic spread before she even spoke.

"Oh my God. Katie! Katie! What happened?"

"She's been shot, lass." Da moved quickly to the driver's side door and nodded for her to move over. "Ye've got ta take her in when we get ta the hospital."

Connor took a hand away from Katie to open the door. He helped his brother slid in with her still in his arms. It was only when Murphy's hands covered the wound that he rounded the car quickly and slammed his door shut.

Da started the car and rocks flew as they took off. Sara turned in her seat, her eyes filled with fear as she met Connor's gaze. He pressed his lips together and tried to give her a reassuring look. "She'll be fine. Just get her inta the hospital when we get there."

Nodding slowly, she turned around again in her seat, her face several shades paler. Murphy was silent, his only movement the occasional readjustment of his hands over her side. Connor put his hand on his brother's shoulder and squeezed, but there was no acknowledgement of the contact.

Murphy only came to life again when Katie let out a gasp and her eyes opened as they were only blocks away from the hospital. She struggled weakly for a moment until her eyes were on his and she realized where she was.

"It's okay, Katie. Hold still." The words were thick as Murphy spoke them and Connor could feel his brother take a shuddering breath. "We're getting' ye ta the hospital."

"What…" She swallowed hard. "…no iron?"

Murphy's chuckle was only half forced and he shook his head. "No. Ye get the real deal, m'dear."

"Lucky me." Her whisper was lost in the moment as Da stopped the car in front of the hospital. Sara jumped out and opened the door closest to Katie. Connor leaned over, brushing his hand over her forehead.

"Sweetie, do ye think ye can walk in if Sara helps ye?"

Katie nodded and there was a sharp intake of breath as she tried to move forward. Murphy slid out toward her, keeping his hand pressed to her side. He let go to put her hand there instead and she winced as she pushed in. Sara put a supportive arm around her to help her stand up and Connor could tell she was taking most of Katie's weight instantly. She'd end up doing more carrying than walking, it seemed.

The girls had only gotten a few feet away before Murphy moved to follow them. Connor wrapped his arms around his brother, pulling him back in the car. He managed to pull the door shut. Murphy struggled against him. "No, I need ta fuckin' talk ta her. Let go!"

But Connor just held tightly and turned his head to glance at Da. "Get us outta here, Da."

They struggled for a few more minutes as the hospital fell out of sight. Murphy's fighting slowed and he fell back against Connor. His chest heaved. And there were tears in his voice as he spoke. "I forgot ta tell her I love her."

"Ye can tell her when ye see her next." Connor kept his arms around his brother, holding him loosely and resting his head against him. Murphy's only answer was the silent sobs that shook his shoulders. Connor just tightened his arms around him and began to pray.


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: Just a quick note and then I'll leave you alone! I'm switching to specific posting schedule. Starting now, I'll be posting a new chapter every Monday by midnight (CST). There is a small chance I might get more than one done a week, but there will be at lease one consistantly each week. Sorry for cutting done on the amount of chapters I'm getting out, but with new life developments, I've got to cut the breakneck 500M sprint down to more of a cross-country long-distance run. For more information, please refer to my profile. :) And now, to your feature presentation...**

His sons had become quiet, too quiet. But Da was afraid to turn around and look. This was a part of them that he'd missed out on, the way they grieved and the way they dealt with pain. He knew without asking they dealt with it together and he was happy that they at least had each other.

But a part of him ached deep down as he pulled the car up in front of the church and stopped. "Take 'im inside, Connor. I've got ta find Smecker."

There was a moment of silence before one door opened. A half second later, the second one opened and both shut quietly, as if afraid to disturb the peace. But the moment was hardly peaceful and an inner war raged inside Da as he watched the twins move as one, arms on each other's shoulder, disappearing behind the heavy church door.

It was what he could only assume was his fatherly instinct that made him want to follow them. Want to hold them tightly to him and brush away their tears. He wanted nothing more than to just make everything better for them. But the time for him to do that was long since past and he knew there was a good chance his presence wouldn't be completely welcome at the moment.

So, he shifted into drive and steered the car away from the sidewalk. And he knew he was doing the only thing left to do. He couldn't take away their pain, but he could make sure that they never felt it again, at least not because of their calling. He was going to find a way to get rid of the Saints, once and for all.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Murphy was quiet and still, and as he headed instantly for their spot near the back of the church, Connor let him go. He needed the prayer, the comfort of ritual. And Connor could only hope that it could be a balm for his pain for the moment. Because he had no idea what to do otherwise.

The red glow of the candles drew Connor away from the middle aisle and he found himself in front of the stand, staring at the flames. So few were lit compared to as he usually saw it. Either that meant that fewer people needed prayers or that fewer people believed in the power of their prayers. Connor reached for the matches.

He lit one for Katie, the flame growing large and smoking slightly before settling down to its normal bobbing height. She had to make it. They couldn't lose her. The pain threatened to suffocate him and he shook his head against it, swallowing hard. He couldn't give into it yet. He could feel later. Right now, his brother needed him. And for that, he knew he needed to put his feelings aside.

Pausing only slightly, he lit the one beside it for Murphy. The wick fought the flame, refusing to be lit at first, but Connor simply held the match there, knowing that with patience it would catch on. Even as he tried to numb himself, he realized that he hurt most for his brother. For the anguish he couldn't shield Murphy from. And he realized that he could no longer even wish to wrap his brother up in cotton any more than he could himself. And this would leave scars on Murphy, scars he couldn't make disappear.

The match had burned down to his fingers and he blew it out with a quick shake. Striking another match, he lit the candle directly above Murphy's. _For Da._ His thoughts turned to Sara as he set the wick on fire to the candle below Murphy's. He ached for her, for what he knew she was going through. Connor closed his eyes briefly against the tight feeling in his chest as he pictured her terrified and alone in the waiting room. He should be there with her. But he was needed here more. _Murph needs me more_.

With a second thought, he lit the one below her for Smecker, knowing what the agent would sacrifice for them. And knowing that after everything that had gone on so far, he'd have a lot of work ahead of him to clean-up their mess.

Connor set the second burned out match on the table and felt a hand press against his shoulder. Surprised, he looked up to find a pale Murphy staring at the lit candles in from of them. Their eyes met and Connor slipped his arm around his brother.

"Ye forgot one." Murphy's voice was soft and rough. He moved his hand from Connor's shoulder and with trembling fingers, he struck the match. Connor watched the flame catch the wick of the candle on the other side of the one he'd marked for Murphy.

"Who'd I forget?" He didn't ask how his brother knew which candle was for which person. It seemed like a pointless question to ask. Murphy just knew. He always knew.

Tapping the blackened match against the newly lit candle, Murphy's eyes found his. "For me brother, Connor. For me twin."

Connor found himself in a sudden embrace and he tightened his hold on Murphy. They'd almost died, he realized and was only a little surprised that his brother had felt the pain of it before he did. The horror of it hit him and he knew. They would have burned to death if Katie hadn't come after them. If Katie and Sara hadn't been smart enough and gutsy enough to save them.

Murphy's breath hitched near his ear. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it alone, Conn. I need ye ta help me pray. I need ye by me side."

Connor nodded, his head brushing against Murphy's. "Okay. Let's go."

They released their hold on each other and Connor glanced back at the candle stand, his eyes widening. Grabbing Murphy's arm, he nodded toward it. With the addition of Connor's own candle, they'd somehow formed a cross without realizing it. Murphy's candle blazed as the tallest in the middle. Turning to Murphy, he gave him a small smile.

"Now if that's not a fuckin' sign, I don't know what is." Connor pressed his hand on his brother's back and together they moved to their spot near the back of the church.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Smecker tapped his fingers in rapid motion as he stared at the phone. When were they going to call? Why had he agreed to wait for them to call? Lighting another cigarette, he took a long drag of it hoping it might calm his nerves, even though the first six hadn't worked so far.

Peter had left before Sara's call, hoping to find out more information about where the Saints were being held. He said his cover had been blown, but with all of this focus elsewhere, the truth of who he was might not have made it to everyone. And now, as Smecker tapped the ashes off into an abandoned soda can, he realized that letting Peter leave might not have been a good idea. Enough lives were at risk as it was now.

The phone rang, shattering his forced calm and Smecker grabbed it. "Hello? Sara?"

"I need ye ta meet me in the alley." Da's voice was low and there was a hint of emotion in it that he couldn't quite figure out.

"Pat? Holy shit, how the fuck did you guys get out?"

"Just meet me out in the alley. I'll tell ye what I know."

"I'm coming." Smecker set the phone back into the receiver and pressed his lips together as he stared at it. Something was going on. Something had happened. A tight feeling clenched his stomach as he grabbed his coat and left his office.

The only sign of Da in the alley was the orange ember of a cigarette about halfway down. The ember bobbed in midair and as Smecker got closer, he realized that Da was leaning against a car he'd never seen before. Their eyes met and he lit his own cigarette as he waited for Da to speak.

"It was a trap."

Smecker nodded. "I know. Peter came running in about it over an hour after you three left. Is everybody okay?"

"Fuck, Peter. Ye've got ta get ahold o' Peter. He doesn't know yet."

"Slow down, Pat. What happened?"

"Katie found a way inta help us. But she got caught and distracted the fuckin' man guardin' us ta give us a way ta escape. And he shot her before we could get ta her." Da's hands were shaking as he raised the cigarette to his lips again. Smecker stared at him for a minute.

"Katie's been shot? Is she alright? Where is she?"

"St. Cecilia's. Sara took her in."

"Christ." He rubbed his hand over his face and began to pace. "Is anyone else hurt?"

Da shook his head slowly, flicking his cigarette to the ground and grinding it with his boot. "We're all fine."

"How's Murph?"

"I…I don't really know. I left 'im with Connor."

"Where are they?" Smecker stepped away and glanced down the alley, breathing in the smoke from his cigarette.

"I took 'em ta church. But I need ye ta be with Sara, at the hospital. The lass needs someone with her."

"Okay. And go be with your sons, Pat. They need you. We'll figure out what happened later." He looked pointedly at Da, who nodded in response.

"Aye, we've got ta figure out what fuckin' happened."

"I'll talk to Sara, see if I can ease some details out of her." Smecker put his hand on Da's shoulder and squeezed lightly. "I'll go see what info I can get on Katie as well."

"Thank ye, Paul." Da patted him on the back and turned toward the car. His hand was on the door handle when he glanced back. "And Smecker, if ye get a chance, find a way ta put the Saints away fer good."

Smecker stared at him through the inky darkness, frowning slightly. "Are you sure about that? Maybe you should talk to the boys first, Pat."

"No, I've made the decision fer the lot o' us. Me boys shouldn't have ta live this life. They should be free ta have wives and babies, and actually be around ta see them grown." The car door opened and Da sat down inside, leaning out to glance back at him. "I'd appreciate it, Paul. If ye get the chance ta do it."

Raising his hand in a half wave, Smecker watched the taillights disappear as they turned out of the alleyway. He brought his cigarette to his lips one last time, his eyes on the far brick wall.

They wanted to make the Saints disappear. Well, it wasn't something he was against, as each job tended to leave a sick feeling in his stomach until he heard whether or not the McManuses had made it through. But at the same time they held a purpose in life. Did a point eventually come where the purpose was outweighed by the need for a normal life? When did the McManuses start thinking this way?

Flicking his cigarette onto the concrete beneath him, Smecker ground the ember into the hard surface, leaving only darkness around him. He knew he wasn't exactly in the position to decide whether the Saints came or went, but he couldn't help but wonder if Da's reasoning was what he claimed it to be. Did the Saints want to be done? Or was it just Da who wished for a normal life?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sara paced back and forth in the emergency room lobby, clenching her hands into fists and releasing them to the rhythm of her steps. Katie was in surgery. That's all that she'd been told and that little bit of information had the power to make her go crazy.

Katie had to be alright. She had to survive this. Sara raised her hand to her mouth as she fought the images that had been swinging at her for the past hour. What if she lost Katie? She'd only had such a small amount of time to adjust to having her best friend back in her life. But her life had stretched to fit her back in and she knew now that losing Katie would leave a hole. A hole that she wasn't sure even Connor could ever fill.

_Connor. _ She closed her eyes against the sudden rush of pain. Where was he? How were they dealing with all of this? _Poor Murphy._ She'd said that to Connor once before and had received his laughter as a response. _Murph can take care o' himself._ He had smiled at her. But Sara wondered if that could still hold true if the worst possible happened. _Could Murphy survive without Katie?_

As the tears threatened to overwhelm her, Sara shook her head against them. She would not fall apart. Not yet, not in the middle of the emergency room lobby. She'd wait until she hidden in Connor's arms and could muffle her tears against his chest. Nobody else would see her in that state.

To distract herself, Sara moved up to the nurse's desk again, getting yet another stern look from the aging blonde nurse. She offered a smile. "Any updates on my friend yet? Katie Shafer?"

"I know her name by now, Sweetie. But as I told you the last five times, you'll get the news as soon as I do. Now go find a magazine or turn the television on. Do something to pass the time."

Pressing her lips together, Sara nodded and held back a sigh. It the same response she'd gotten each time she'd gone up there. And now, if she held true to the routine, she'd pick up the new People magazine, flip through it without actually being able to concentrate on the pages before giving up finally and pacing again. _Christ, I need a distraction._

Her eyes landed on a pale Smecker who came jogging through the entrance at that moment. He moved toward her and put a heavy hand on her shoulder. "How are you doing, Sara?"

"I'm…fine. She's still in surgery." Sara smiled slightly. "Thank God you're here. I'm going nuts here alone."

He offered her a small smile back. "Trust me, I understand. Da thought you might want company."

The lump grew in Sara's throat as she nodded. Moving quickly, she put her arms around Smecker and put her head on his shoulder. After a brief hesitation, he held her loosely, rubbing his hand in small circles on her back.

"They just won't tell me anything. And I don't know if I can stand waiting much longer."

"Well, they might not know anything. But as soon as they do, we'll find out. I'd rather wait and find out the whole story than get bits and pieces and draw the wrong conclusion." He let go of her with one arm, turning and keeping his other arm over her shoulder. "But, I might be able to at least find out when we'll know more."

"How? I've been bugging them constantly and consistently."

Smecker grinned finally and Sara couldn't help but smile too as she saw the cocky glint in his eyes. "Sara, I'm an FBI agent. Information comes to me a hell of a lot easier." He led her up to the nurse's desk again and let go to lean against it, seemingly relaxed. But Sara could see the tension in his shoulders as he smiled.

The nurse looked up at him with renewed interest. "Can I help you, sir?"

"I think you might be able to." He took out his badge and laid it on the counter. "Paul Smecker, FBI. I'm interested in finding out any information you have about Katie Shafer."

Pressing her lips together, the nurse glanced at Sara who simply smiled at her. She then turned her gaze back to Smecker. "I'm afraid I don't know anymore than I've told this young lady. But once I know more, I'll give you that information."

"Well, is there anyway you could at least give us an idea of when she'll be out of surgery. We have more of her family coming soon, and it'll help calm them down to at least have a timeline."

Sara's eyes widened at his words. Peter. She'd forgotten about Peter. _God._ Peter was going to be upset, to say the least. He and Katie had always been so close, and after she took off, his biggest fear was losing her to a mafia bullet. Hopefully they had more of an idea of how things were when he arrived. Details just might have the power to keep Peter calm.

Nodding shortly, the nurse picked up the phone and pressed a few numbers. She turned away as she put the handset up to her ear. "Cindy, yeah it's Connie out at the receiving desk. Can you give me an estimated ETA of a surgical patient into recovery? Okay, Shafer, Kathleen. She came in a few hours ago. Abdominal GSW." Connie, the nurse, nodded slowly, tapping a pen in her right hand. "Okay, thanks."

Hanging the phone up, she shifted back to face Sara and Smecker. "She's nearly out of surgery. They're just finishing up."

"Thanks, Connie." Smecker gave her a charming smile and Sara felt his hand on her shoulder, directing her away from the desk area.

Once they were seated again, Sara fought the instinct to pick up the People magazine. She didn't need it anymore. Smecker was here. Nerves began to turn in her stomach but she turned to him with a smile. "So, how do I become a federal agent?"

He laughed and just shook his head. "You don't."

"Why not?"

"I'm not letting either you or Katie become one. Too dangerous."

"Gee thanks, Uncle Smecker. Is that really more dangerous than what she's already been doing?"

He glanced sideways at her, patting her knee with his hand. "She'll be fine."

"I don't know if I want to know." The words slipped out before she could stop them and Smecker turned fully toward her. Sara's eyes widened. "I mean, I do. But now that the time has come…"

"It's understandable, Sara. But I'm here with you. We'll find out together."

"What was that about Peter? When was he getting here?"

"Hopefully after we have some news. I had to just leave a message."

"Christ, you didn't tell him this in a message, did you?"

He gave her a long look. "I didn't become a frickin' agent by being stupid. Of course I didn't. I told him to call me back. With everything that's been going on, I think that's enough to get him to call soon." He ran his thumb along the stubble that had started to fill in along his chin and sighed. "You wanna tell me what happened yet?"

Sara was quiet for a moment, closing her eyes against all of the details that had been burned into her mind. "We found out about the trap. Katie knew she could get in as she'd done before. And all I could do was drive the fucking car."

His hand squeezed her knee again. "Because you had the car ready, Katie's chances are much better. I'd say that's pretty important"

"Yeah, well…" Sara trailed off as a white-coated doctor stepped into the waiting room, his eyes wandering the nearly empty room. She stood up quickly and Smecker followed. But his phone rang and he cursed lightly.

Glancing at her, he held up the phone. "It's Peter, Sara. I've got to take it. If you want to, make him wait to tell you."

She nodded and watched Smecker walk away before turning to the doctor. Now that he was here and he had the news, she knew couldn't wait.

"Are you Kathleen's friend? The one that brought her in?"

Sara nodded. "Yeah, how is she?" She gripped her hands together and could feel each beat of her heart throughout her body.

"She got through the surgery just fine. We've got her in recovery now. There was slight damage to the kidney and outer walls of the stomach, but we were able to patch things up fairly well. We'll be transferring her to her room in a few minutes here. She won't be awake yet, but you can visit her one at a time once we get her settled." The doctor's gentle smile got Sara to risk a smile in response.

"So, she's okay?"

"With no unforeseeable difficulties, she'll be fine. In fact, as long as the wound starts to heal normally, she should be able to leave in just a few days."

Sara brought a shaky hand to her mouth and she nodded slowly. "Thank you."

He smiled again and moved away, stopping at the nurse's desk with a few instructions. Sara watched him point over at her and saw the nurse nod in understanding. She'd get to see Katie soon. Katie was going to survive. A numbness settled over her, a void of emotion instead of the tears and happiness she had expected to wash over her.

Smecker moved toward her then, his eyes carefully searched her face. He put his hand on her shoulder again and raised an eyebrow. "Did he tell you anything?"

"She's going to be fine." Sara managed to get out. A slow smile spread across his face.

"Thank God. I only wish I could have told Peter that. But he should be here soon."

"They're going to let us see her soon."

"I'm not going to get much information out of you, yet am I?" He shook his head slowly, the grin still on his face. Sara blinked and looked at him again before laughing.

"Sorry. Surgery went well. She had slight damage to the kidney and the outer walls of the stomach, but they were able to patch things up." She realized she was repeating the doctor's words nearly exactly but didn't care. Katie was okay. She was going to be okay. "That and if she starts healing okay, she'll be out in a few days."

Smecker's arms went around her and he squeezed her tightly for a moment before quickly letting go. "The best possible results then."

"Sara?" Connie was moving toward them and she smiled a little. "Come with me. I'll take you to see her now."

Sara glanced up at Smecker who nodded and pushed her toward the nurse. "Go, I'll wait for Peter."

"Thanks, Uncle Smecker." She managed another smile and forced herself to ignore the shaking in her hands. The nurse led her down a long hallway before pausing outside a door near the end. Checking the name on the chart, she nodded toward the room.

"She's in there, honey."

"Thanks." Sara paused with her hand on the door knob, readying herself for what she might see. Connie nodded at her.

"Just go in. You'll be fine."

"Thanks." She repeated and opened the door slowly. The privacy curtain was blocking the partial view of Katie, only her legs underneath the blanket were able to be seen from the doorway. Taking a deep breath, Sara moved forward and felt the tightness in her chest disappearing.

Katie was pale, save for the large purple bruise on her left cheek. An I.V. ran to her right hand and a few more wires or cords were attached to her. But she looked like Katie and that's all that mattered to Sara.

She felt the tears in the back of her eyes as she moved forward, sitting gently on the edge of the bed and taking Katie's hand. The monitor beeped, startling her and she glanced up to see the brightly colored lights move across the black screen. It was proof that Katie was alive. Proof that she was okay.

"You scared us, Kat." She whispered the words, feeling a few tears work their way out of the corners of her eyes. "But I might just forgive you for it."

She felt calm and joyful at the same time and knew exactly what she needed to do. Murphy, Connor and Da needed to know. She needed to be the one to tell them.

"I'm leaving for a little while, but I'll be back to see you later. I'm going to make sure Murphy's okay. And then I'm going to hold and kiss Connor until next week. I'll let you be the one to kiss Murphy. He might appreciate it more from you." Sara leaned forward and brushed the hair off of Katie's face. She pressed a kiss to her forehead and stood up, setting her hand down gently. "I'll be back, Katie."

Sara turned and moved to the doorway, opening it to find a frantic eyed Peter on the other side. His eyes met hers and she found herself in a tight embrace. "Is she okay?" His voice was thick.

"She's fine, Pete. Just resting. Go see for yourself." Sara stepped back from him and kissed him on the cheek. "Go. I'm going to find the McManuses and update them. But I'll be back here later."

Peter nodded slowly, his eyes focused inside the room. Sara smiled and pushed him inside. "Go, Peter. You'll feel better once you see her." He nodded again without looking at her and moved slowly into the room. She stood outside and watched him pause as Katie came in sight. Rubbing his hand over the back of his head, he sighed heavily. A chair scrapped across the floor and he disappeared behind the curtain.

She shut the door softly and sighed. Peter would need time alone. He might be ready to talk more when she came back. But for now, he needed to be with his sister alone.

Taking Katie's cell phone out, she glanced at it for a moment before putting it back into her coat pocket. It might scare Connor if she called him from Katie's number. Her phone was still missing, so there was only one choice left. She'd find them and tell them in person. And she had a good idea of where to start looking.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guilt washed over Peter as he focused on the pale face of his sister. He hadn't been able to stop this. She'd gotten shot because his cover had been blown and she'd had to go in instead. After all this time of trying to save her, he'd failed.

But she was alive. She was alive and once she was healed, he'd be able to smack her upside the head for risking her life like that. And she'd be around to smack him back. The tears began as sharp prickles behind his closed eyelids and he pressed his lips together.

When they'd lost Brett, Katie had been the one to cry. She'd been the one to start the grieving and to struggle in dealing with it. Peter had, on the other hand, been preparing himself for his older brother's death from the day he started working as a mob peon. He had lost Brett on that day, over five years before he committed suicide by cop.

But he could never be prepared for losing Katie. Not even when she took off for the mob. Katie was his big sister, his childhood best friend, and for such a long time, the one who knew him better than anyone else.

How could this happen? How could Katie get shot? The anger that rushed through him had no target yet. He needed to know who did it. He needed to find a way to make it right, to even the score. He now understood Katie's need for vengeance.

Murphy McManus's face came into mind and Peter shook his head against it. He knew he shouldn't blame the man. He couldn't blame the men who had become the Saints, who had worked so hard to do what they thought was right. But this had happened because of them.

He didn't have the details yet, but he knew his sister too well. He had seen the look in her eyes as she has smiled up at Murphy and had teased Connor. They had become her family. So where did that leave him?

It didn't matter, Peter realized as he watched her pale face for some sign that she was coming out of unconsciousness. But she remained still, leaving him alone with the occasional beeping of the machines around them.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Murphy's head felt heavy, his hands stiff and his knees sore, but he remained where he was. He couldn't stop praying. If he stopped too soon…he shook his head against the thought and felt Connor stir from beside him. Not wanting to explain, Murphy kept his eyes closed and his fingers interlocked together. There was a light sigh from that side but Connor's warmth stayed and he was thankful for that.

The heavy door of the church shut and they both opened their eyes, tensing. But the sight of Da appearing made them realize they were still safe, still hidden behind the walls of the church.

Murphy's eyes were on Da's face as he neared them both, but nothing could be read from the older man's eyes. "Did ye find anythin' out?"

Da shook his head slowly. "No, Smecker goin' ta call."

"Fuck."

"Murph, give the man time ta find somethin' out." Da sighed. He put his hand on Murphy's shoulder but Murphy just looked away. He knew he was being impatient, but the tightness in his chest was threatening to cut off his air. And he knew he couldn't breathe without her. Without knowing if she was still alive. Without knowing if she would still be around for him to tease and to hold and to piss off.

"Murph." The quiet voice came from his other side, where Connor still knelt and he raised his eyes to his twin. "Let's go get some air, have a smoke."

Murphy just shook his head quickly, interlocking his fingers again and leaning them against the pew in front of them. "No, I need ta keep goin'." If he kept praying, maybe he could breathe again.

"Murphy, ye've been at it fer a fuckin' hour already. Ye need a fuckin' break." Connor's words rushed over him and Murphy numbly noticed the absence of 'we' in the sentence. His brother was thinking only of him but even that wasn't enough at the moment. Looking back up at him, Murphy pressed his lips together.

"Please, Conn. Just a little while longer." The words sounded familiar to them both, he knew, as it was something he'd often ask when they were younger; when Connor would get impatient and want to leave and Murphy still wouldn't ready to go. And now, as he had then, Connor simply sighed and nodded slowly.

"Okay, Murph." He pressed his hands together and shifted only slightly beside him. "A little while longer."

Unable to smile his thanks because of the lump in his throat, Murphy nodded in return. He closed his eyes and faced forward, aware only a few seconds later of another warm body moving to kneel beside him. Glancing over, he saw Da there; his eyes squeezed tightly shut and his lips already moving in silent prayer. Maybe, just maybe, the power of prayers from all three of them would be enough to save his Katie.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sara eased the door of the church shut behind her, not wanting to disturb anyone who might be inside. Her eyes landed on the three bowed heads in the back of the church and she paused in her movements. She'd never seen them pray, never been able to imagine the sight that was now before her. And she wanted to stop and study them but knew that the news she carried was much more important.

Her steps were light along the carpet runner and she knew the exact moment all three of them realized she was there. Their shoulders tensed and all three heads rose at the same time, eyes widening one by one at the sight of her in front of them. Feeling the emotion welling up, she stepped forward to greet them.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Murphy felt his heart pause as his eyes landed on Sara, who'd managed to get within a few feet of them. Her face was without emotion and the hair at the back of his neck prickled as he stared.

The three of them stood at the same time, facing her as she hurried toward them. Her sobs were muffled against Connor's torn t-shirt as she threw herself into his arms. His brother's eyes met his own and Murphy felt the world stop, all of his energies building up into a single word statement. "No."

The church was circling around him and the pressure was building in his head. But the cool feeling of Sara's hands on his face pulled him back and her eyes were filled with tears as she stared up at him. "No, Murph. She's going to be fine." She choked on the words before managing to give him a smile.

Murphy pulled her into his embrace, holding her tightly and breathing in deeply. He needed to hold her. Needed to hang onto Sara as a connection to Katie.

The pain in his chest had moved into his throat and his eyes burned as he tried to keep calm. But it was when his eyes found Connor's and he saw the tears sparkling at the corners of his brother's eyes that Murphy finally let loose again. He pulled Connor into their embrace with his right arm and held on tightly to them both.

She was okay. His Katie was going to be okay.


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: I hope this isn't too rough, but I had a hell of a time getting this written. :) But it's done and the next chaper should be easier and longer! I've learned not to procrastinate anymore!  
**

Murphy's soft chuckle resonated through the silent church as he spoke to Da. Connor watched, knowing that they were both doing their best to hang onto the moment's peace in light of Sara's news. He tightened his arms around her and she leaned back against him, her head turned at such an angle that he knew she was watching them as well.

"Your brother seems to be doing better." There was a smile in her voice. Connor grinned.

"Aye, he does. Stage two of traumatic stress Murphy." His words were teasing, but Connor felt the same sense of relief that Murphy did. He, however, didn't feel the need to explode with it like his twin.

But their Katie was okay. He smiled again at the thought of it, the pressure in his chest and behind his eyes nearly gone. And he knew the relief he was feeling was only a fraction of what Murphy was feeling. And it was evident in the relaxed set of his brother's shoulders and at his quick laughter punctuating Da's statements.

And Connor now took it in wordlessly, enjoying the crisp joy of the moment, because he knew harder moments were still to come for them all. Especially Murphy. They had only made it through the first large hill of a possibly dramatic rollercoaster ride. It was still unknown just how long Katie's recovery might take. And all but Sara were yet to see her in her current state.

It would hit Murphy hard when he saw her in that bed, wounded and in pain. Connor knew from experience after watching Murphy himself heal from a gunshot wound in the side only six months before. There was little worse than watching his twin suffer all the while knowing there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

The only thing worse for Murphy would have been losing her and that thought would only keep him going so long. So Connor knew they were going to need to rally the support for them. And they would all feel better when they figured out just what exactly happened.

He shifted his head against Sara's and sighed. "Ye want ta tell me how ye found us?"

She moved her head to glance at him and met his eye. After a brief moment, she turned in his arms and placed her hands on his chest. "If you tell me how you got trapped first."

Connor nodded slowly, feeling the twisting in his gut as he stared down at her. He didn't want to tell her, didn't want to think about it. She would put part of the blame on herself, he knew, no matter what anyone else said. And that's what bothered him the most.

He had seen the guilt in her face as Murphy was crying before and he had known all of her tears had not been from relief. Hiding things to protect her was not going to help them. And protecting her from feelings she already felt was pointless. So, he knew they were just going to need to share everything, and then, deal with it together.

Sara pressed her lips to his gently, putting her hand on his cheek. "It's best for both of us to know everything." The expression on her face told him she was just as reluctant to share and he realized that all of her story might not be the easiest to hear. Or the easiest to tell. Squeezing her hand, he nodded.

"Aye, it's for the best."

"Let's get them over here then. I'm not repeating myself over and over again." Dropping her hand from Connor's face, she turned. "Murph, Da, come here."

Connor watched over the top of her head as his brother and Da exchanged looks before stepping toward them. The light feeling around them changed as their expressions grew weary.

"What's goin' on, lass?" Da's voice was soft and he directed his gaze at Sara, who glanced back at Connor. He nodded in response to her unasked question. He'd start first.

"We need ta get all the facts together. Figure out what the fuck happened."

Murphy lost all hint of his smile and he brought his thumb to his mouth to chew on, eyeing Connor.

Taking Sara's hand back into his, Connor looked at her. "It started when I got a call from yer phone. There was a scream and then the fuckin' call was ended. I thought they'd gotten ye." Her grip tightened on his and her thumb caressed the back of his hand. He could still feel the frantic feeling of worry and of panic, despite the fact that she stood in front of him, unharmed.

"My phone is missing, Conn. It wasn't with me-"

He nodded shortly, cutting her off because he knew he needed to get through the details. Needed to make her understand what happened. "Murphy made me call yer fuckin' work and yer home."

"I wanted ta make sure it wasn't a fuckin' trap. Guess that worked fuckin' well." Murphy gave a hard half-laugh and Connor glanced at him.

"Ye couldn't have known, Murph. Besides, we both fuckin' fell for it."

Da cleared his throat. "All of us fell for it." His eyes met Connor's and after a hesitation, he took over. "These two came ta McGinty's lookin' fer me. And Doc told us about someone seein' ye bein' carried inta the warehouse."

"Wait, how the fuck did that happen then?" Murphy's voice was soft and his eyes raised to Connor's again. "How did someone see somethin' that didn't fuckin' happen?"

"Did Tommy tell Doc that?" Sara eyes were wide and Connor glanced at her, connecting the dots. Ryan had made the call. Tommy's little brother. Tommy was involved.

"What the fuck?" Murphy's arms gestured widely and his wild gaze caught Connor's.

"Christ, the fuckin' man knows ever thin' about us." Da spoke softly and he could hear the disbelief in his voice.

Tommy was their fuckin' mole. Connor kept quiet despite the anger bubbling over inside of him. A bitter taste was in the back of his throat as he realized that Tommy was in the perfect position to screw them over. And he'd tried to. But just how involved was he? Clenching his free hand into a fist, he took a deep breath and looked at Sara. "I think it's time that ye told us yer details."

She just stared up at him for a moment and nodded slightly. Pursing her lips together, she turned her gaze to the far wall between Murphy and Da. "He's the fuckin' mastermind of this whole trap, I think. Katie had suspicions about him-"

"Suspicions?" Murphy's voice brought her eyes to him and she nodded. Connor could feel his brother tense. "What kind o' suspicions, Sara?"

"That he was the one leaking information. Something he'd said while you three were in New York kept bothering her, so she asked him about it in a round about way. We stopped at McGinty's on the way to lunch. That's how he got my phone, I'm guessing."

"How did he react to her questions, lass?"

Sara glanced at Da and gave a half shrug. "Nothing too memorable. He just played confused."

"And how did he get yer phone?" Connor kept his question quiet. She sighed and let go of his hand, crossing her arms over her chest.

"He knocked my fucking purse off the counter. Must have taken it then. And that's why we went back later. It was weird though, McGinty's was closed."

Connor furrowed his brow at her. "Closed? Ye sure it was closed?" She nodded slowly.

"McGinty's is never fuckin' closed." Murphy's eyes met his. Connor felt his heart skip a beat as he realized what that might mean. Where was Doc?

"Tommy told Katie that Doc had had another heart problem. That he was in the hospital and had told him to keep the bar closed until he was out."

"How'd ye talk ta Tommy if the bar was closed?"

Sara bit her lip and looked up at Connor. "The door was unlocked. But it was weird. Tommy was in the back room. He was acting odd and he let enough information slip out that we knew that you guys were at the warehouse." Her words spilled out fast and her eyes were on the floor.

Connor blinked and frowned at her. It couldn't have been that easy. She wasn't telling them everything.

She was upset. He could tell by the way that she held her arms so close to her, gripping her elbows tightly. Why wasn't she giving them the full story? Shifting his eyes upwards, he found himself looking at Murphy and it hit him. Something had happened. And she was trying to protect Murphy by not telling him. What the fuck had happened?

His heart warmed at the sweetness in the gesture, but he knew his brother would fare better knowing all the details. Connor began to figure out how to get her to tell them more but the tears in Sara's eyes stopped him as she looked up. Her gazed focused on the far wall again.

Her voice was thick and she spoke softly. "Katie knew how to get in to you guys. We were both terrified, but she calmly told me what we'd do. She would risk her ass and I would sit in the fucking car." There was a trace of bitterness there and Connor slipped his arm over her shoulder. He could feel her take a shuddering breath. "The next thing I knew, you three were running out to the car with her."

Connor swallowed hard and pulled her in to face him. She leaned her forehead on his chest and took another large breath. They were all silent for a moment.

"I want ta fuckin' know why." The anger put a sharp edge on Murphy's words and as Connor looked up over Sara's head, he could feel the emotions coming from him. But any words he might have spoke were interrupted by the sharp closing of a door inside the church. Father Mackelpenny stepped out into sight and he nodded at the group with a small smile.

"Are you three ready yet?" The priest's warm voice resonated around them and Murphy was the first to nod.

"I'll go first." His eyes met Connor's for a long moment before he nodded in return. Murphy knew there was more to Sara's story. And he would be looking for a report about it. Connor knew it was now up to him to draw the details from her. To find out just what happened between them and Tommy.

The doors of the confessional shut softly as Murphy and Father Mackelpenny stepped into their own sides. Da wandered further away from them, winding around to stand before the candle stand. After a long moment, Connor rubbed his hand over Sara's back.

"Ye wanna tell me the rest now?"

She glanced up at him quickly, her cheeks still wet with tears. "The rest?"

He wiped his thumb under her eyes gently. "Sara, please."

She was quiet for a moment before nodding. "I guess you should know. I just didn't want to upset Murphy even more."

Connor's arm over her shoulder tightened and he felt a nervous twisting in his gut as he stared down at her. "What the fuck happened?"

"Tommy didn't know I was there. And he knew Katie had suspicions about him. He had a fucking gun, Conn." Her voice was shaking again as she took a deep breath. "He held it to her fucking head and was spouting off some shit about you two and how everybody loves you and how you two think you're godly."

His head spun as his imagination took off on what might have happened and what could have happened. Forcing his anger down, he squeezed her shoulder lightly. But one look in her eyes told him that he hadn't hidden his emotions from her very well. She nodded slightly in understanding. Connor sighed.

"So, what happened once he had the gun on her?"

"She…she was trying to talk him down. I could hear their conversation from up at the bar and knew from the tone of her voice that something was wrong. I froze at first. When I looked around the corner, I fucking froze. The next thing I knew I had a whiskey bottle in my hand. He was going to kill her." Her voice began to hitch. "So I hit him over the fucking head with the bottle."

The tightness in his throat subsided as he stared at her for a moment. "Did ye break the fuckin' bottle?" She nodded in response.

He found himself smiling and he let out a small laugh before kissing her soundly on the lips. She fought a grin with tears shining in her eyes as she stared back up at him, confused.

"Good. Christ, I knew there was a bar fighter somewhere in there. And that's only a small part o' why I love ye, Sara."

"I love you, too, Connor." Her smile was gone and she put her arms around his neck, pressing her face against him.

"Hey, it's alright." He brushed his hand down the length of her hair and held her tightly to him with the other arm. "Ye're fine."

"No, it's not alright, Conn. In one night, I just about lost my best friend, twice. And…and I just about lost you." Her voice broke and she buried her face further into his neck.

The door to the confessional opened and Connor's eyes connected with Murphy. He knew that Murphy had read his expression as he nodded toward her. Instead of answering, Connor leaned back from Sara and looked down into her face. "I'm right here, Sara. Unharmed. Ye're not gonna lose me for a long time."

"You can't know that, Conn. It's a hell of lot more likely that I'll lose you sooner rather than later." It was the anger coming from her that surprised him the most. But Connor knew it wasn't directed at him. But it pushed him to realize what he needed to do. The answer was clear.

"Yes, I can. I'm done with all this." He kept his voice low and watched her eyes widen. She shook her head at him.

"You can't just say that, Connor. It's not like a fucking nine-to-fiver."

"Aye, but I can say that. And I have. I can't imagine I'm the only one that wants ta be done with this."

Sara shook her head. "No, I can't ask you to do something like this. This is your calling, Connor."

"Ye don't need ta ask. I've been thinkin' this way fer a while now. We've made our fuckin' point. There's got ta be another way ta keep goin' without continuin' down this path."

"Just make sure it's something you can live with. I'm not going to walk away if you stay a Saint." She kissed him gently and Connor wrapped his arms around her again. She pressed her lips against the warmth of his t-shirt, directly over his heart. "What makes you a Saint comes from here. And so does everything else that I love about you."

He kissed her then, pulling her tightly against her before deepening the kiss. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pressed against him, making him sigh into her mouth. Someone cleared their throat nearby and Connor forced himself to pull apart from her.

Murphy stood a few feet away, watching them with an eyebrow raised. "Church."

"What?"

"Ye're in a fuckin' church. Keep the fuckin' foreplay to a minimum." He backed away as Connor moved to slap him upside the head and grinned at them both.

Sara let out a soft laugh and nodded toward the confessional as Da stepped out. "Maybe I should go in now."

"Ye're not even fuckin' catholic, Sara."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh, really?"

Connor stared at her for a moment before slowly smiling. "Ye're a fuckin' catholic?"

"Well, here, on this side of the 'pond', we refer to ourselves as just plain catholic. Never fuckin' catholic." She moved toward the confessional. "All though it has been a few years since I've been to Mass. So who knows? Maybe they've changed things."

He watched her step inside and heard Murphy laugh softly from beside him. Connor took the opportunity to smack him in the back of the head. But as Murphy moved to fight back, Connor turned and looked at him, remembering what Sara had told him. His sudden change in mood wasn't lost on Murphy and his brother stilled, his eyes narrowed.

"What?"

"We need ta talk, Murph."

"So fuckin' talk."

"Not here." Connor glanced around and nodded to the side hallway not too far away. "Let's step out there."

Murphy eyed him closely before nodding. "Alright. Lead the fuckin' way."

Connor knew the peace they'd found in the church was about to be lost. But knowing everything was always preferable to even blissful ignorance.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Murphy listened to Connor repeat the rest of Sara's story and clenched his fists to hide his anger. But the fury still trickled into his bloodstream, bringing another rush of adrenaline to him. He wanted to pace, but pacing wasn't enough. Katie's terrified expression stared at him each time he blinked and he found couldn't concentrate on Connor's words.

They had to do something. They had to find Tommy. He had to kill Tommy.

"Murph!" Connor's voice was sharp as he said his name and Murphy found himself staring into the semi-annoyed eyes of his brother.

"What?"

"Calm the fuck down. Ye won't do her any good if ye go flyin' off the fuckin' handle."

Murphy's held breath rushed out in a long sigh. "I'm fine."

"Ye not fuckin' fine. Yer fuckin' face is red and I can see yer fuckin' mind turnin' from here." Connor waved a hand at him. Murphy knocked it away from him and he could see his brother tense as not to react in kind. The lack of reaction only made him angrier.

"Fuck, and ye're not pissed yerself? The fuckin' vein on yer forehead is standin' out, Conn. So don't give me fuckin' lectures on stayin' calm. We need ta find him." It was easier for Murphy to be angry now, now that he had a person to focus on. The feeling of helplessness was past and now they needed to take action.

Connor clenched his teeth and after a long moment, nodded. "Ye're right."

"What?"

"I said ye're fuckin' right. Let's get Da and go. We need ta go ta McGinty's. Find Doc."

"What about Sara?" Murphy nodded toward the main part of the church.

"I need to get back to the hospital. I've been gone long enough." Her soft voice came from a few feet away and they both turned toward it. Murphy saw the weariness in her expression as she held up a hand. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I just wanted to tell you that I'm heading there now."

Connor shook his head. "Ye're hardly eavesdroppin, Sara. We were fuckin' shouting' anyhow. I'll walk ye out." He held his hand out to her but she waved it away.

"I'll be fine."

"At least let me catch ye a cab." His voice was quiet and Murphy could still hear a hint of fear in it. His brother was still worried. And as Sara simply looked up at him and nodded, he realized that she could read his brother now too. Finally, someone came along who could see the hidden emotions of Connor.

Sara's gaze moved to him and Murphy found himself opening his arms as she stepped forward hesitantly. She grinned and hugged him. Kissing the top of her head, he caught his brother's bemused expression and smiled back. He let go and looked down at her. "Take care of her for me."

"I will. And maybe Smecker can find a way for you to see her."

"Maybe." He found that he was still able to smile, despite the aching in his heart. She was allowed to go back to Katie. To see her, to touch her. Swallowing hard, he knew he needed to see her soon. To continue to assure himself that she was alive and was going to be fine. Sara's word on her condition would only hold him for so long.

"He will. Or he'll face me." She grinned. "But I don't think it'll have to come to that."

"Let's hope not. I pity Smecker if it does." Murphy chuckled and nodded as Connor stepped forward.

"I'll walk her out. Find Da."

Murphy dipped his head in response. He slipped his hand into his coat pocket as he watched Connor lead Sara out of the church. And Murphy found himself alone, for the first time since Katie had been shot. Shaking the cold feeling from his body, he moved back into the warmth of the sanctuary to find Da.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sara walked into the hospital, feeling worn and exhausted. It had felt like years since they'd left the library; long stretches of time since they thought their plan to fool the mafia would save the Saints.

But it'd only been hours, and in that short amount of time, their lives had changed. Because even though Katie was alive and predicted to be fine, they had taken a fork in the road, altering their course. And she couldn't help but wonder where this path would lead them now.

She shook away the abstract thoughts of the future as she stepped into Katie's room, having been silently ushered there by Connie herself. Low murmured conversation hummed from behind the curtain and Sara paused, unsure if she was interrupting something. But the voices stopped and the curtain moved back a little, Peter's face peeking around.

Giving her a small smile, he waved for her to come forward. "You're back."

"Yeah." She kept her voice quiet, in tune with the peaceful atmosphere of the room. Putting her hand on Peter's shoulder, she nodded at Smecker before her eyes found Katie.

"She's still unconscious." Smecker's voice was matter of fact and void from any of the emotion she'd heard from him earlier. Sara just glanced at him, giving Peter's shoulder a squeeze.

"Well, she's probably exhausted. It's been a long few days."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this, Sar?" Peter twisted around to face her. His face was blank but his eyes met hers directly. She shrugged.

"It kind of escalated quickly. Besides, Katie didn't have your number."

He gave a hard laugh. "She would've never called me anyhow."

"She thought about it."

"Bullshit she did."

Sara stepped in front of him, her arms crossed over her chest and glared down at him. "Look, this sucks. And I know how you feel-"

"You have no fucking idea how I feel." Peter's chair scraped back a few inches as he stood up quickly. He leaned closer to her and Sara could feel the anger coming off of him in waves. "She's my fucking sister."

"And she's the closest thing to a fucking sibling I've got! You're hardly alone in caring around her. But we can all be victims and blame each other, or we can accept what happened." The frustration built up in her and her heart raced as she stared up at him. _First the fucking McManuses on their quest for Tommy's head and now this._ "The last thing we need is you, Connor and Murphy getting pissed and doing something stupid." She pointed her finger into his chest and he knocked her hand away.

"Don't fucking group me with them."

"Why not? You're all being a bunch of _men_ about this."

"I'm nothing like them. It's their fucking fault she's even in here!" His nearly shouted words dropped the room into silence and Sara could feel the blood rushing in her ears.

"That's enough." Smecker moved between them before Sara even knew he'd gotten up. He stood with his back to her, looking up at Peter, who ignored him, his eyes on the far wall. "Pete, you know what happened was an accident. If the McManuses had it their way, these girls would be in a safe house on the other side of the world."

Sara watched Peter take a deep breath, still in shock that he felt that way. His eyes found hers but dropped away after a second. "The girls wouldn't have been in there if it wasn't for them. I told Katie I didn't want her near them."

"Yet it's okay that you work with the mafia?" She kept her voice steady, not letting her angry get away from her. Smecker waved his hand at her to keep quiet.

"It's my assignment. _Was_ my assignment." Peter rubbed the palm of his hand over his hair. "If my cover hadn't been blown…" He trailed off and swallowed hard. "I…I'm going to get some air."

As Peter disappeared around the corner of the doorway, Smecker sighed and turned to Sara. She now saw the exhaustion in his face, and a little surprisingly, the sadness in his eyes. "I'll go talk to him. I need a frickin' cigarette anyways."

"Okay. Thanks, Smecker."

"Paul." He corrected instantly and she raised her eyes back to his.

"What?"

"Please, call me Paul. I can't seem to train the McManuses, but I still have hope in you girls."

Smiling slowly, Sara nodded. "Okay. Thanks, Paul."

The wrinkles around his eyes crinkled as he grinned back, and he patted her shoulder before following Peter's path out the door.

The room seemed empty without the two men but she ignored it, taking Peter's seat next to Katie. The monitor beeped again but Sara kept her eyes on her friend instead. It could have just been her hopeful imagination, but Katie seemed to look less pale than when she left.

Shrugging, Sara took her hand and leaned her elbow on the bed. "Your brother wants to go beat up your boyfriend. You better wake up and go stop him." There was no movement or sign of response from Katie and after a moment, Sara let out the breath she'd been holding.

It was hard, not having her awake to respond. And knowing she might be waiting for a little while. But she was willing to wait. Willing to hold on until there was an answer to one of her questions. Until Katie's eyes opened and shared a knowing look with her.

"Well fine, if you aren't going to talk to me, than I'll take a nap with you. You can't be the only one getting sleep around here." Keeping a light hold on her hand, Sara laid her head down next to her on the bed. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on the sound of Katie breathing.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Connor bit back his frustration as he watched Murphy kick the door to McGinty's in anger. The bar was still closed and there was no Doc in sight. Da paced nearby, worried and Connor knew it was up to him to decide the next step.

"Da, do ye know where Doc lives?"

There was a slight pause before Da shook his head slowly. "No, I'm afraid I don't. He practically fuckin' lives in his bar."

"We need ta check the hospitals." Murphy turned away from the door, giving up his attempt to get inside. Frowning, Connor met his eye.

"Ye think Tommy was tellin' the fuckin' truth about that?"

"It's better than fuckin' nothin'. Christ, I feel fuckin' useless here."

The ringing of a phone broke the silence and after a moment Da reached into his coat, pulling his out. Pressing a button, he answered it, turning away from them.

Connor stepped toward Murphy, putting his hand on his shoulder. "We'll be doin' somethin' soon, I promise ye."

"We've lost 'im, Conn. I know it. Tommy's fuckin' long gone by now."

"Then we'll fuckin' track him."

"No, we won't." Da's voice came from behind them and they both turned toward him. Connor furrowed his brow at the determination in his face.

"What?" Murphy's voice gave away his confusion.

"This ends tonight, m'boys. If the lad is gone, then we let 'im go. The Saints are no more."

Exchanging a glance with Murphy, Connor shook his head. "What are ye talkin' about, Da?"

"Ye heard me. Smecker's takin' care o' it. We're done."

"Ye can't just do that, Da."

"It's done, Murph. I made the best fuckin' decision for the three o' us. For the family." Da pressed his lips together, his hand wiping down the gray hairs of his beard as he looked at them. "I'm not lettin' the two o' ye make the same mistakes I did."

Both twins remained silent as Da walked away and it was only the starting of the car that got them moving again. Murphy shook his head and Connor could see the emotion building in his movements. But the explosion he expected never came as he followed his brother to the car.

Instead, Murphy paused just a few feet from the car and turned toward him, looking at Connor with a lost gaze. "He's right, isn't he?"

Letting out a long sigh, Connor nodded slowly. "I think he is, Murph. It's not worth the fuckin' risk o' goin' on."

"So much has changed since we fuckin' started."

"Aye, and we've got that much more ta lose." As Connor opened the door and slid into the front seat, he heard Murphy sigh.

"That we fuckin' do." His brother muttered before getting into the car. He shut the door and Da pulled away from the bar in silence.

A few minutes passed before Da cleared his throat and glanced at Connor. "Smecker'll be bringin' Sara by. He thought ye'd want her ta stay with us tonight."

"Aye, I'd feel better."

"She can share our room, I suppose." Murphy offered and Connor grinned back at him.

"Thanks, Murph."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It felt like only seconds later that a warm hand brushed her hair off of her face and touched her shoulder. "Sara."

Opening her eyes, she blinked at a blurry Peter crouched next to her. Sara sat up fully, letting go of Katie's hand to rub her eyes. "Fuck, I actually fell asleep."

He gave her a small smile and shifted slightly. "You were pretty asleep. Hardly moved in three hours."

Her eyes widened and she glanced around. "What time is it?"

"Nearly midnight. Smecker's ready to take you home."

"Tell him to go. I'll just catch a cab."

Peter shook his head. "No, you'll go with him. It's too late for you to be out alone."

"Christ, Peter. It's nearly the new millennium. Women are, in fact, allowed out after dark without a proper male escort."

He grinned. "Just go with him. I'll feel better knowing you're home safe."

"Now you sound like Connor." Standing up, Sara leaned back to stretch her muscles. She could now tell she'd been sleeping at an awkward angle from the stiffness in her back.

"About that." Biting his lip, Peter glanced at Katie before his eyes came back to her. "I'm sorry about what I said. I know the McManuses aren't at fault here. I just…"

She put her hand on his arm. "I know, Peter. Just don't say anything like that around Katie or any of the guys. They're blaming themselves enough as it is."

He pressed his lips together and nodded. "Alright. Tell Murph that Smecker and I will find a way to get him in here."

"An additional member of the Shafer family?"

"Yeah, something like that." Peter grinned and pushed her toward the door. "Go, Smecker's waiting for you."

Sara turned back to look at Katie again. "I…"

"I'll call if anything changes. I'm staying all night."

Nodding, let him walk her to the door. As she stepped out into the brightly lit hallway, Sara turned to him and kissed him on the cheek. "You're a good brother, Peter."

He squeezed his hand on her shoulder. "And you're a good sister."

Sara grinned as he winked at her and just shook her head. "Good night."

"Night, Sar."

Giving one last look into the darkened room, she gave Peter one last nod and walked down to where Smecker stood. She was finally ready to go home.


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: No, it's not Monday. Just to clarify... Either see this as a tease :) or a midweek celebration! BDS II has been greenlighted (no idea when it'll be released, I've heard many different things...) and my birthday is in two days! Double the celebration! If only I could have the sequel for my birthday... But either way, here's a one scene chapter and I hope to have a normal length chapter done when I post on Monday (since I'm sacrificing this one this early...) **

Voices floated above her, weaving in and out of her dreams with only bits of words making sense. _Fire…innocent…angel…saints…_ But it was the pain that finally pulled her to the surface, to the light. It was the pain that made her realize she was no longer dreaming. The reality above her did exist.

Smecker and two unfamiliar faces leaned over her, each attached to a business suit body and each watching her closely. She tried to concentrate on their faces but a fire of pain had erupted in her belly and she closed her eyes against it.

"Katie? Katie. Open your eyes." The cool tone sounded almost detached, professional, but even through her distraction, she caught the underlying worry beneath Smecker's voice. So, she opened her eyes and gazed up at him, concentrating on the blue she'd never noticed before in his eyes.

"Smecker?"

"Yeah. I know you're hurting, but the nurses are coming to take care of that. The pain is good, it's what brought you back to consciousness."

"Where…am I?"

"St. Cecilia's. You've been shot. Miss Shafer, do you remember what happened?"

Blinking slowly, she stared up at Smecker, trying to recall what had happened. Images of Murphy, Connor and Da handcuffed to chairs appeared. There was that man. The man she'd knocked out. He shot her. Murphy's yell. Fire.

She licked her lips and took a deep breath. "Fire. There was a fire." There was more, much more she needed to tell Smecker, but the intense looks she was getting from the other two men told her they weren't leaving yet. They were after something. _But what?_

"Miss Shafer, were the men known as the Saints at the warehouse too?" Smecker's question was calm but his eyes were directly on hers. He smiled slightly and nodded a little as she frowned up at him. What was he doing?

"What?" The word was all she could manage, her teeth clenched against the pain.

"Did you see three men there? Irish, one older, two younger…" He trailed off and raised his eyebrows as she remained silent. "You're not under oath, Miss Shafer, but we need the truth. Tell _me_ the truth."

"I…" Her mind swirled around the pieces of answers that seemed just out of her reach. Why was he asking her this? What was he doing? She fought to ignore the burning in her abdomen as she stared up at him. She pressed her lips together as he gave her a short nod. "I…yes, they were."

It slipped out as a whisper but by the small, almost hidden smile that Smecker gave her, she knew it must have been the answer he was looking for. But why was he making her admit to their presence? What did he think he was doing?

"Where did you find them in the building?" He pressed his lips together, watching her closely and she narrowed her eyes at him. _Where did I find them?_ Her mind latched onto his wording and by the intense stare from him, she knew it was important. _Where did I _find_ them?_

"They…they were handcuffed to chairs."

"Where?" One of the other men spoke up and Smecker held up his hand without even glancing back at the man.

"I ask the questions, detective. That was the deal. Where, Miss Shafer?"

"In a room." She gritted her teeth against another wave of pain and let out a hiss of air. "A closed-off room."

"Just one more question, Miss Shafer. Then we'll let you rest." Smecker put his hands behind his back and bounced on the balls of his feet lightly. "When you left the room in which the Saints were being held, were they still handcuffed to the chairs?"

Holding a breath in, she nodded. Smecker continued to watch her so she let out the air to speak. "Yes, they were."

He dipped his head in understanding slowly and gave her one last glance before turning away from her to face the two men. _The two detectives. Why are there detectives here?_

She worked to keep her breathing even and closed her eyes again. Her memories melted into what could only be her dreams and she realized she had no idea what was real. Where was Murphy?

Her lips formed around the words but they never came out as she heard Smecker sigh heavily. "Well, there you go, boys. The Saints were in that building. Our witness saw them still handcuffed to the chairs only minutes before the whole building was ablaze. And our second witness is prepared to make a statement that she saw no men leave the building. Only Miss Shafer here, who stumbled out, bleeding from a gunshot wound to the abdomen."

"Okay, but where are the bodies?" A rougher voice asked and Katie could tell that it came from the man to the left of Smecker. But the words floated past her, meaningless, hovering over her ears as she continued to concentrate on breathing.

"Where are the chairs, detective? Frankie Varon's body was found near the start of the fire, before it reached its flashpoint and really cooked everything. And what's left of him is hardened flesh and ash. There's nothing left of the Saints, boys."

"Are you sure?"

"I have two witnesses who are sure. The Saints are dead. Case closed."

Her eyes snapped open at that and she knew she must have made a sound when everyone turned to look at her. Smecker's eyes widened and she stared at him as she struggled to find her words.

"Dead? The Saints are dead?" Her voice was high pitched and she struggled to push herself up, fighting against wave after wave of pain.

"Where's the nurse?" Smecker's voice seemed almost calm but the worry was evident on his face as he moved toward her. "Katie, you've got to calm down."

His hands were on her shoulders but she fought against him, her arms feeling heavy and her movements weak. She could feel her energy quickly ebbing but she continued to jerk away from him.

"They're dead? The fire?"

The back of her neck felt clammy and chills began to shake down her spine as the tears came easily. An older, blonde nurse came into sight and Smecker's hands gripped her shoulders as something was injected into the back of her arm.

As the world became hazy, she could hear her own gasping sobs. Smecker's face was the last thing she saw as he leaned over her, pain now clear across his face. His lips were moving but the words mismatched the slow movement of his mouth.

"I'm sorry, Katie. I'm so sorry."

The world went black and she was falling.


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: Again, thanks for all your reviews! Especially for the outraged ones I got over Chapter 38. One scene equaled 11semi-angry reviews. I felt very evil. It was great! I'll what I know about BDS II up on my profile, for those who are interested and don't already know. Oh, and there is a good chance I'll post another 'one scene chapter' later this week. It's not a habit I'll get into, but the scene after this chapter works best alone, I think. (Updated 9/5 at way too early in the morning, gotta love those 7-4ers. :) Thanks to Anasazi Darkmoon for betaing for me! Further proof that my spelling leads a lot to be desired:))  
**

The room was sparsely lit when Murphy woke up for the second time. He realized by the light yellow tint of the walls that it was morning and that meant he could finally give up on trying to sleep. His bed had felt empty all night and even an extra blanket hadn't warmed him like Katie's body next to him had only the night before.

Slipping on his jeans, his eyes wandered over to Connor's bed, where both his twin and Sara still sleep peacefully. Even in sleep, Connor's arms were tight around her, his hands laced protectively across her abdomen.

Murphy felt the now familiar ache catch in his throat and he forced himself to leave the room. He would have her back soon and he would just have to be patient until he did.

Cigar smoke met him as he closed the door to their bedroom quietly and Murphy surprised himself by smiling. Da was up. He'd woken and thought he'd only want to be alone, but now that warm, content feeling spread through him as he realized for the first time in a long time, he had Da to himself.

"Mornin'." The husky low voice greeted him as he rounded the corner and Da gave him a warm smile before turning back to the morning paper in front of him.

"Mornin' Da."

They were both silent as he poured himself a mug of coffee. Da smiled his thanks as Murphy carried the pot over to refill his mug as well. Pulling the comics from the stack to the right of Da, Murphy spread them out in front of him, preparing to read.

But the colors simply blurred in front of him and the nervous pulling in his stomach was back. He knew Katie was okay. Smecker would have called if something had happened. But he still felt sick at the thought of not knowing.

His mind had barely begun to spin. Something could have happened. And there would be a time lapse in there before he was told. But would he already know? Would he feel it if something has happening? Was he feeling it now?

"How ye doin', Murph?" Da's voice jolted him away from the unformed thoughts tumbling through his mind and it took a moment for the question to make sense. Murphy raised his eyes to look at his Da.

"I…fine."

"She's fine, m'boy. I talked ta Smecker less than an hour ago."

"What for? What's goin' on?" Murphy raised his thumb to his mouth and stared at Da.

"Nothing. I would've woken ye up if there were any news."

"Than what did he call for?"

"I called him."

Sighing, Murphy motioned with his hand for Da to go on. "Okay, why?"

"Ta tell him that the Saints are done. He's gonna take care o' it fer us."

"How?"

"Don't really know, I guess. He said he had an idea and that he'd get back ta us later 'bout it."

"Oh." Taking a long drink of his coffee, Murphy focused his eyes on the comics in front of him again. He got through an entire strip before he realized he wasn't paying attention. Sighing, he folded up the paper and tossed back in front of Da. Leaning back in his chair, he looked at him again. "So, what do we do now?"

Da's eyes paused in their steady skimming across the front page and he glanced up for a moment. They were both silent and his eyes returned to reading. "I suppose we've got ta decide that."

Nodding, Murphy took another drink of his coffee without responding. Da's eyes found his again.

"I talked ta yer Ma this mornin'. She wants us ta come home."

"Fuck, Ma. Ye didn't tell 'er, did ye?" The legs of Murphy's chairs snapped against the tile as he sat up straight.

"Of course I told her."

"Aw, man. She cried, didn't she?"

"Aye, twice in fact." Da pressed his lips together, gazing off at the far side of the kitchen.

"Twice? Why?"

"First when I told 'er about the warehouse. Then again when I told 'er about Katie."

Murphy forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat with a sip of coffee. His Ma cried over Katie. His Ma, who'd he'd seen cry only a handful of times in his lifetime. Christ, how he loved that woman. And how he missed her. "We can't just go home, Da."

"That's what she said, as well. We're ta get things settled with both o' yer lasses and than be on the next plane out."

"Those the official orders from Ma?" He smirked at Da who nodded seriously.

"Aye, and we'll follow 'em. The bloody woman scares me."

Smiling, Murphy set his mug down and leaned back in his chair again. He could take Katie home now. It was a possibility that he'd never been able to consider. She could meet Ma and Uncle Sibeal. She could see his school and he and Connor's secret fort in the woods.

And maybe, she could find her peace there. The same peace that Ireland had always held for Murphy himself. The same peace he'd been without since leaving home until the night they'd found Katie.

"How is the Anvil lookin' these days, Murphy?" Da's voice brought him away from his daydreaming. Murphy grinned back at him.

"Fuck, Da. It's been a good ten years since I've even fuckin' seen the place meself."

"A bit less than my twenty-five years, m'boy. What do ye remember o' it?"

Running his forefinger over the rim of his mug, Murphy tilted his head to the side. Fuck if the memories of the Anvil weren't still completely clear in his mind. It was where he and Connor spent more than a few of their nights with Uncle Sibeal as their baby-sitter, playing cards with the men and serving drinks when needed. And it was where they'd first gotten drunk, stealing a nearly full bottle of Hennessy from under the bar and hiding in the backroom with it.

Smiling widely, he glanced at Da. "It was lookin' fine, that last time I saw it. A bit worn, broken-in, like any good pub should be."

"That's how we'd pictured it'd be." Da lit another cigar and leaned back with a wide smile. Murphy raised an eyebrow at him.

"How ye'd pictured it be?"

"Aye, the pub is half mine. Yer Uncle Sibeal never tell ye that?" Da breathed out the smoke slowly, shrugging. "Though, I'm sure I've basically fuckin' forfeited me right ta it."

"Were the two o' ye close? We always heard about 'those other two McManus brothers.' But Uncle Sibeal wouldn't give us many details."

"We were nothin' compared to the two o' ye. You and Conn are close. Ye compliment each other. Sibeal and I did nothin' but collide for the most part."

"Is that why ye left?" Murphy kept his question quiet, casual, despite the fact that it was something he'd wanted to ask his whole life. It was the one question that he and Connor had never been able to guess the answer to, no matter how hard they tried.

And when Da's eyes rose to meet his, he knew it was the right time to finally ask it. But they were both silent for a moment.

"I never planned on leavin' at all." Da stared off across the room again, his hands lacing together and rising under his chin as he seemed to try to find his words. "Fionn Roarke was a good friend o' yer uncle and me. He came ta the states ta make some money. Ta find adventure. But Sibeal had yer Aunt Lucy and I had yer Ma, so we stayed behind in Ireland. He got involved in some bad shite here, but we didn't know it until it was too late. The two o' ye were barely in diapers when he was murdered."

Da's voice had lowered to a harsh whisper, his eyes never moving from the wall. "Sibeal and I flew ta Boston and we took care o' the men behind it. We were good at it, too. When the first offer came ta kill a few more o' the bad men involved, Sibeal turned it down. But yer Ma and I needed the money. So I went and did it, promisin' yer Ma that it would be a one-time deal." He rolled the cigar between his thumb and forefinger, becoming quiet.

After a few moment, Murphy waved his hand in the air. "So what the fuck happened, then?"

"Fionn's family was killed back in Ireland." Pausing, Da took a long drink of his coffee, his eyes still fixed on the wall. "The mafia family involved had made a connection between him and his family. I made yer Ma move the two o' ye and herself in ta live with Sibeal and yer Aunt Lucy. And I stayed in the states."

His eyes quickly moved from the wall to stare at Murphy. "If I'd ever come home again, they would've fuckin' followed me. And I would've lost the lost all o' ye." He dropped his stare and his fingers fumbled in folding the paper in front of him. "So ye see, Murphy, I made one choice, took one wrong job and it changed the path o' me entire life. I can't let the two o' ye do the same."

Murphy was silent, watching Da carefully. He was shocked to find that it still hurt. He realized now that Uncle Sibeal had been a bad stand-in for Da, as the two of them were completed different. Both he and Connor had lost nearly twenty-five years with Da. And they'd spent most of those years thinking their father had chosen to leave. Had chosen life in the States over them.

Breathing out a sigh, Murphy patted his hand against Da's forearm. "Ye made the right choice, Da."

"Which one? The one that made ye grow-up without a Da or the one that separated the two o' ye from yer callin'?"

"Both really. Ye did what ye had ta do. Ta take care o' us." Murphy squeezed his hand over Da's arm before standing up. "And just so ye know, Uncle Sibeal never took yer spot."

Da's eyes met his in a grateful glance and Murphy felt the warmth spread inside. There'd been a small hole in his heart for most of his life. A hole he never even mentioned to Connor. A tiny hole caused by that glimmer of doubt about why Da really had left. And despite the grief he still felt about lost years, Murphy knew the hole had been filled.

Picking up his and Da's mugs from the table, he quickly refilled them with coffee and brought one back to Da. Opening the fridge, he skimmed the contents inside with a grin. "I'm makin' breakfast."

"Christ. Isn't it enough that we nearly got fuckin' killed last night?" Connor's rough morning voice floated into the kitchen as he collapsed into a chair next to Da. "Do we really have ta play fuckin' Murphy roulette this mornin'?"

"Shut it, Conn." He smiled without meaning to and Connor met his gaze. After a long moment, Murphy nodded. Aye, he was fine. Grabbing his mug, Murphy shut the fridge and sat back down at the table, setting the mug in front of him. "So what do ye suggest instead?"

Connor grabbed Murphy's coffee and took a long drink of it, setting it in front of himself instead. "Thanks. And I don't fuckin' know."

"That was my coffee, ye fucker." But as Murphy reached over, Connor simply pressed his hand over the top of the mug, studying the paper in front of him.

"Thanks for the donation."

Sighing, Murphy just leaned back in his chair again. It wasn't worth fighting and he really didn't mind that he'd lost his coffee. "So, Sara still sleepin'?"

"Aye. Don't think she slept too well at first." Connor glanced up at both Murphy and Da. "Any news?"

"I talked ta Smecker a while ago. He said she was the same. But the doctor's thought she might be wakin' up soon."

Murphy frowned and stared at Da. "That's a bit o' new fuckin' information. Why didn't ye tell me before?"

"Because ye would've been at the hospital by now. Da knew it might take the o' us ta convince ye ta stay." Connor's words were answered with a short nod from Da. Murphy stood up.

"Well, then ye're fuckin' right. I'm goin'."

"Sit down, Murph." Connor sighed, but Murphy ignored him. As he moved past his brother, Connor shot up and wrapped his arm around Murphy, preventing him from moving further. "It's not safe fer ye ta go yet."

"And when is it goin' ta be fuckin' safe?" Murphy pushed Connor's arm away from him.

"Soon enough, m'boy. But ye've got ta give Smecker time." Da's voice came from behind them. But Murphy couldn't force himself to turn. Instead, he fought against the feeling of suffocation inside, knowing that something else blocked him from getting to Katie. Da cleared his throat, his words echoing through the kitchen. "Ye can do this two ways, Murph. Ye can haul yer ass in there and get yerself caught. Or ye can wait a little while for Smecker to get ye in. Just make sure that ye make the right choice, son. Because with one o' those, there is no turnin' back from."

The blood pumping through Murphy slowly cooled and he could feel Connor relax beside him. Da was right. Waiting was really the only option. But he'd never been good at waiting.

A hand squeezed his shoulder and Connor's voice was near his ear. "Ye not fuckin' alone with this, Murph. We'll be waitin' with ye."

He forced a breath through the tightness in his chest, and nodded slowly. Clapping a hand against Connor's back, he let his brother know his thanks though the contact between them before stepping away. Murphy was quiet again as he took his seat again on the other side of the table. His eyes were focused on the table and the coffee mug came into view as it was set in front of him again.

He gave a half laugh. "I guess that's one way ta get me fuckin' coffee back."

"It's gettin' cold. I wanted fresh anyway." Connor's smile came through his voice as his back was to the both of them. Da cleared his throat again.

"Now that the two o' ye are up…"

"Christ, what now?" Murphy took a long drink of his coffee, finding that his brother was right. The coffee was only lukewarm. A second mug was placed in front of him as Connor sat down. He barely got a chance to smile his thanks before Da continued.

"We need to figure out how ta find Doc. And Tommy."

Connor frowned, glancing again at Murphy. "I thought we were done. No Tommy after last night."

"Aye, the Saints are done. But Agent Smecker is also interested in the lad. Ask if we could find him for him."

"I think we need ta find Doc first. Make sure he's alright." Murphy pressed his lips together and Da nodded in agreement.

"He's the first on our list. And unfortunately, that might fuckin' lead us ta Tommy."

Connor scuffed at that. "Ye don't think he was involved, do ye?"

"There's no way. Doc's too fuckin' innocent ta get involved with this."

Da nodded at Murphy's words but simply shrugged. "I don't know, m'boys. But Doc has known Tommy for a long fuckin' time. Ye've both said that they've been close."

"Which makes it all the more disgustin' that the asshole would take advantage o' Doc like that." Murphy spat out and Connor nodded shortly. But Da held up a hand before either of them could speak again.

"Let's find Doc first. Than we can weave our possibilities inta story form."

"And how do we fuckin' do that, Da?" Connor drew a pack of cigarettes from the coat on the back of his chair. Lighting two, he passed one over to Murphy.

Da leaned forward, still rolling the half of cigar he had left between his fingers. "Well, Smecker has a plan."

"Doesn't he always?" Murphy grinned at Connor. They both leaned forward at the same time, giving their full attention to Da. Finally, it was time to get down to business.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Sara woke slowly in the now cold bed and realized that she was alone in the boys' bedroom. Fleeting memories of the night before came to her as she fought to wake up and with a sigh, she sat up, staring across the room.

Both twins had had nightmares. Connor's heavy breathing and twitching had woken her, but it was Murphy's low moan on the other side of the room that had sent the shiver down her spine. She barely had to shake Connor before he sat up in bed, his eyes wide and the air spilling out of his lungs. As his eyes turned to met hers, she nodded at Murphy's bed.

And she realized as she watched Connor speak softly to Murphy a few minutes later that while she'd fallen in love with one man, she'd gotten two. It was something that Katie had laughed about before with her, but for Sara it was more of a serious matter. She barely knew Murphy, but they were now connected through Connor.

As she pressed her lips together and stared off at the empty bed, Sara knew that it was past time that she got to know the man. Especially if she was going to be linked to him for the rest of her life.

Her eyes widened as the bubble of emotion burst inside of her. The rest of her life. Forcing a deep breath, she pushed that thought away and slid out of Connor's bed. Now was not the time to figure out what that meant.

Sara opened the bedroom door quietly and stepped out into the hall. A low murmur of the McManuses' voices could be heard from where she stood and she recognized the serious tones. _Another assembly of the Saints._ Sighing, she peeked around the corner and saw that she was right. All three men leaned in closely over the table, both Connor and Murphy listening to Da explain something with his hands. None of them noticed she was there.

Shaking her head, she leaned back against the hallway wall. She needed to leave them alone. While she couldn't tell what the conversation was about, she knew it was something serious. And it was also something she didn't want to know about.

Returning to the boys' room, she grabbed her overnight bag and headed to the bathroom. As serious as their conversation looked, she knew she had enough time to shower and get ready before they would even notice she was awake.

The events of the day before ran through her head as she showered but she fought the emotions instead of just letting them flow. There would be plenty of time to get emotional. Right now she needed to think, needed to finally fully process everything that had happened.

It was only as she stepped out of the still steamy bathroom, fully dressed and ready that she realized that she'd spent the entire time avoiding what was really bothering her. She loved Connor. It wasn't hard to admit anymore. But what did it mean? They'd barely had time to breathe after she'd let the words come out and now it was a few days later and they were no closer to knowing what it meant.

Love wasn't a binding contract. It didn't mean that Connor would stick by her and would let her stay around him. After all, she'd loved Greg and that hadn't worked out. Her parents had loved each other and that hadn't worked out, either. When did love mean forever? And would she and Connor even get to discuss it? To decide themselves?

Laughter from the kitchen distracted her and she heard quiet footsteps making their way to the hallway. Setting her bag inside the door, she grinned when Connor rounded the corner.

"Ye're awake. And showered already." He seemed surprised but barely paused for an answer before taking her into his arms. His lips were soft and warm against hers and she sighed. "Mornin', love."

She simply smiled at the words and closed her eyes against his shoulder. He was warm and solid, and his arms surrounded her, making her feel safe. She tightened her arms around him and sighed again.

"Ye okay?"

"I'm good, now."

His chuckle rumbled through his chest and she pressed her lips to his neck. "Glad I could help."

"I'd be even better if you could find me some food."

"Da's already workin' on it."

"Christ, I think I'm gonna have to love you forever then. Especially if it means I get to keep your family." She smiled up at him and he kissed the tip of her nose.

"Aye, forever is the plan, m'dear." He laughed softly and pushed her out toward the kitchen.

Sara felt the warmth spread through her body at his words but her response was lost as her stomach growled at the aroma now coming from the kitchen. Da was at the stove and as she stepped into the room, both he and Murphy looked up at her.

"Mornin' lass. Hope yer hungry."

"Da's makin' his specialty." Murphy grinned at her, motioning toward the chair next to Connor's. "Sit down. Make 'em serve ye."

He then winked at her and she smiled back. "That was the plan."

"And I shall serve." Connor whispered as he pressed his hand into her shoulder, leading her to the table. He poured another mug of coffee and set it in front of her. "Madame."

"Why, thank you, kind sir." Her eyes rose to find that Murphy was watching them and at the smile on his face, she bit back her question. It wasn't the time to bring up Katie yet. She had to assume that little had changed. They would have woken her up with the news if it had.

She moved to make a random subject changing comment, but a plate was quickly set in front of her instead. Laughing, she glanced up at Da before studying the food. "Dare I ask?"

"It's Da's semi-secret scrambled eggs, bacon, cheese toasted sandwich." Connor grinned at her as she raised an eyebrow at him. "Ye should feel special."

Murphy pointed his fork at her. "I do believe that yer the first non-McManus ta be given one."

"Wow, such a special occasion." She grinned back and took a small bite. It was surprising good. Swallowing, she shook her head. "This is such a man breakfast. You know that right?"

"And how is it a man breakfast, lass?"

Laughing, she glanced at Da, who was serving the last plate to Connor before sitting down with his own. "Simple. It's a combination. Guys are too impatient to eat everything separate."

"Aye, but ye seem ta be enjoyin' it yerself, Sara." Murphy winked again as she chewed another large bite.

"It's good." She nodded in agreement and took a sip of her still steaming coffee. "Are you telling me that Katie's never had this? After all this time of living with you?"

Connor shrugged and they were all quiet. The previous soft humor at the table was lost and they all ate in silence. Sara got halfway through her breakfast before sitting back with a sigh. "I didn't mean to chase away the good mood. But I'm assuming this means there's no new news?"

"Smecker said that the doctors think she'll be wakin' today." Connor leaned back and put his hand on the back of her chair. He smiled slightly at her, rubbing his other hand over the back of his head. Sara moved her gaze to Murphy who was scraping his fork along the edge of the toast.

"That's a good sign, Murph. The sooner she wakes up, the sooner she can come home."

He nodded slowly, bringing this thumb to his mouth and brought his eyes up to meet hers. "Aye, it's a good sign."

Three sharp raps on the door made them all jump in unison and Connor's hand came down on her shoulder. Sara glanced at him and she saw that some of the tension from the night before had returned. They were silent as Da got to his feet and peeked through the peephole. He frowned and opened the door quickly to reveal Smecker with his hand raised to knock again.

"Smecker, come in." Moving out of the way, Da made room for him to enter. The hand on Sara's shoulder squeezed slightly and as she brought her eyes back to Connor, she found that he was watching Murphy.

"Is everything okay?" Murphy's words rushed out and Smecker nodded quickly, raising his hand and stepping forward.

"She's fine. Resting still, actually." Smecker's fingers were laced loosely in front of him. Sara could swear that he seemed nervous. And she knew the tension in the room had thickened.

"Do you want some coffee?" Sara stood up, feeling Connor's hand dropping off of her shoulder with the movement. She was on her own in making Smecker feel welcomed, it seemed. What the hell was going on with the other three men?

Smecker just shook his head quickly. "No, I can't stay long. I just…" He sighed and turned directly toward Murphy. "I need to talk to you quick."

Connor stood up beside her and Murphy rose at the same time, coming around to stand in front of the table. "What's goin' on, Smecker?"  
"I, uh…I told your father that I had a idea on how to get rid of the Saints. Well, it didn't go as well as planned." Smecker's hand shook as he rubbed it over his forehead before pushing back his hair. "Two officers came with me to the hospital. Katie woke up this morning."

"She did?" Murphy whispered and Connor grinned.

"That's great!"

But Smecker just pursed his lips in response.

"What goin' on, Smecker?" Da's voice was quiet and deep from behind them. Sara watched him and realized that something was wrong here. Something was wrong and Da could feel it. What the fuck had happened?

"When she woke up, I asked her some questions about what happened last night. But I asked her in a way to lead the detectives to the conclusion that the Saints had died in the fire." Sighing, Smecker laced his fingers together again and took a deep breath. His eyes rose to meet Murphy's. "Katie's memory is fuzzy enough that she believed me too."

"She thinks we're fuckin' dead? How could you-" The gasp came from Murphy and Sara's eyes widened as she saw the fury in his face. But before he could move, Connor's hand came down on his shoulder and Murphy remained still. She looked at Connor and saw that he seemed calm. But the flexing of the fingers in his free hand told her otherwise.

"I'm sorry, Murph. I didn't foresee that happening."

"How did she react?" Connor spoke for him, squeezing his hand lightly against Murphy's shoulder.

"She…uh, she was upset. They had to sedate her. They were afraid she'd hurt herself, tear her stitches or something." Smecker's voice trailed off at a whisper and he seemed braced for a reaction. But both twins remained completely still.

"Is she okay, Paul?" Da spoke again, his voice softer this time. Smecker nodded haltingly.

"Yeah. She's alright."

At his words, Murphy brushed Connor's hand off of his shoulder and pushed past Smecker. The front door slammed behind him. The room remained still.

Smecker sighed finally and ran his hand through his hair. His eyes were on the wall behind them, not meeting anyone's gaze. "Bring him to Katie's diner at ten o'clock. We'll find a way to get him in to see her."

"How?" Connor's question was blunt and Sara could hear the anger behind it. The anger he was trying hard to hide from Smecker.

"It doesn't matter how. She needs to see him. I think it's the only way we'll be able to convince her that what she heard was a lie. She's not likely to believe me now." Smecker turned on his heel and left the apartment quietly, the door making no noise as it closed behind him.

Connor stayed frozen to the spot, his fists clenched and his eyes fixed on some point beyond the door.

Sara knew he needed to go to Murphy now and tried not to feel lost because of it. She needed to move, so she slipped it coat off of the chair behind her and checked to make sure his keys, phone and wallet were inside. Putting her hand on his wrist, she laid it across his forearm. His eyes met hers and she saw the pain only briefly before he looked away.

"Go get him, Conn. He needs you."

He nodded briefly but moved the opposite way, disappearing into the hallway. After less than a minute, he reappeared, wearing his coat. Kissing her lightly on the temple as he walked past, he wordlessly left the apartment.

Sighing, Sara rubbed her hands over her face, shaking her head against the mixture of emotions inside. Was it always going to be this way? Would he always be so blinded by Murphy's emotions that he wouldn't notice that she needed him too?

"Are ye okay, lass?" Da's question was quiet and her eyes found him watching her. She nodded shortly.

"I'm fine."

"It's hard, isn't it?"

"What's hard?"

"Lovin' them. Sometimes they are so in tune with each other that they forget the rest o' the world exists."

She wanted to disagree and tell him that that couldn't be right, but the feeling in the pit of her stomach told her she was wrong. If anyone knew the truth it would be Da and his words struck a cord with her. Would she always be fighting to outweigh Murphy on the importance scale? Or would she eventually just give up, accepting her place as second best? Would second best be good enough?

Shaking her head against the thoughts, she picked up her jacket and purse and glanced at Da. "I'm gonna stop at the hospital. See if I can find out more before I head to work. Tell Connor I'll see him later on, okay?"

"He'll find ye later when he realized he deserted ye. Make 'im work for it, m'dear." Da gave her a small smile but she couldn't force one back. With another short nod, she left him and the apartment behind.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Connor found Murphy less than halfway down the alley, pacing back and forth next to the dumpster. The fact that his brother was mumbling worried him a little, but he knew that Murphy had been far too still all morning. Perhaps his mumbling was just another way to work the energy out faster.

He knew the moment that Murphy felt his was there, about two seconds before he could have possibly heard him approach. His twin's shoulders stiffened slightly before slumping as he turned around. Their eyes met and Connor simply held his brother's gaze as he moved toward him.

The pain in Murphy's eyes hurt him; reaching deep down into his soul and tearing bits of it away. His twin shouldn't know that pain, shouldn't be subjected to that pain. But he was and now he stood in front of Connor again, looking for answers. And again, Connor had none.

He wanted to put his arms around his brother but he knew this wasn't the moment for comfort. So, he did what he knew he had to. Putting his arm over Murphy's shoulders, Connor pulled him into a headlock and rubbed his knuckles over his hair. Murphy's fist hit his chest, pushing him away and his eyes glared from behind his tousled hair.

"What the fuck was that?" Murphy pushed at his shoulder again, his voice gritty with anger.

"Hit me, Murph."

"What?"

"Hit me. If it'll make ye fuckin' feel better, let's have it out." Connor spread his arms wide and braced himself. But Murphy's fist never hit him, silence filling the void instead.

"I'm not gonna fuckin' hit ye, Conn."

"Fuckin' chicken."

"Fuck off. Hittin' ye won't make me feel any better."

Connor nodded, crossing his arms over his chest and bounced on the tips of his toes. "Okay, than what will?"

"Smecker's head on a fuckin' platter."

"Silver or bronze?"

"Don't fuckin' tempt me. He fuckin' screwed with her, Conn. Hasn't she been through enough? They had ta fuckin' sedate her." There was a slight break in Murphy's voice and the muscle in his jaw tensed. Reaching out, Connor squeezed his hand at the base of Murphy's neck. It was as he felt the tension there that he brought his brother into a quick embrace before letting go.

"She'll be fine, Murph. A bit confused but fine. And she'll be happier than hell ta see ye."

"It won't be soon enough. The damage is done. She thinks the three o' us are dead."

Shaking his head, Connor leaned down to catch Murphy's eye. "What if yer there ta see her wake up next time?"

"Shut it, Conn. It's not gonna fuckin' happen." Murphy turned away from him, running both of his hands through his hair before linking his fingers behind his head.

"We're ta meet at the diner at ten. That's less than an hour away."

"What for?"

"Ta get ye ready ta go see her." Connor smiled slowly as his brother whirled around, his eyes wide.

"Are ye fuckin' serious?"

"Aye, it's been set up. Smecker thought it'd be best if ye were the one that she woke up to."

"We're meetin' him at the diner?" Murphy seemed to be still in shock, his eyes focused across the block.

"We're ta be at Katie's diner at ten."

"Katie's diner?"

"Yeah. Are ye just goin' ta repeat every fuckin' word I say?" Connor chuckled as his brother grinned at him. The tension was gone from his face and Murphy was again caught up in the rollercoaster of his emotions, the anger from the past moments forgotten.

"He said Katie's diner, right?" Murphy smiled wider as Connor nodded in response. "I'm glad ye specified. That's not _our_ diner. That's the diner that Katie and I ended up that day. The day we were tryin' ta lose the two fuckin' mobsters. Fuck, that feels like ages ago."

Connor laughed softly, nodding as his brother continued to stare off down the alley again. He slipped his hand into his pocket, pulling out the thin metal chain and cross he'd gotten from their box. Grabbing Murphy's hand, he dropped the necklace into his palm, smiling at the confused look on his brother's face.

"Consider it a loan. Until ye get yer own fixed for her." His words seemed lost on Murphy as his brother raised the necklace out of his hand, his eyes searching the back side of the cross.

"But this is yers."

"Aye, because yers is still fuckin' broken. I thought she might be better off with a temporary one."

Murphy pressed his lips together, staring down at the metal now gathered in his hand again. His eyes rose to met Connor's, and they exchanged a long look. "Thanks, Conn."

The words covered so little of what Murphy's eyes had really said to him, but Connor just nodded in response, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. "Just tell her if she breaks that one, that they'll be no more ta follow. There's only the two o' us ta own 'em."

"I'll be sure ta pass the word on." Murphy slipped the necklace into his pocket, fisting his hand inside. Connor nodded toward the street end of the alley.

"Let's take the scenic route. We still haven't gotten a good view o' the south side yet."

Murphy nodded slowly and followed Connor out of the alley. The sound of their boots against the concrete was more than enough to fill the air.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Murphy's heart had steadily beat faster as they neared the diner. The conversation between him and Katie from the first time they'd found the diner played through his head, blocking his mind from all other sounds. It had been easy to get lost in that moment with her. To have a few laughs while they were trying not to get killed.

"_Who do ye want to be?" He'd asked her and felt his heart skip a bit as she grinned._

"_Miss America." She'd waved her arms dramatically. _

"_Aye, but maybe we should be something they'll likely believe." She'd hit him then, the smile never leaving her face as she had pretended to be hurt by his words. Then as she had tried to get him to act with her, she'd laughed at his confused look._

"_Don't worry, I'm not going to violate you on the street or anything."_

He'd wanted to kiss her then, for the first time, on a public street in front of the two mobsters following them. She'd turned what could have been a stressful period of time into a teasing conversation. And he'd been able to get a glimpse of what she might be like outside of the situation they'd found themselves in.And he'd gotten an idea of how easy it would be to love her.

And it was easy to love her, and he knew he was lucky to still have a chance after all that had happened. A large part of him still felt the anger and the fear, but at the moment it was overrun by the butterflies in his stomach and the warmth in his chest. He was going to get to see her soon.

"Murph?" Connor's voice made him look to his right and he realized that his brother had stopped. They'd made it to the diner. And as lost as he was in his thoughts, he'd gone past the diner. "Ye okay?"

Nodding slowly, he dipped his hands into his pocket again, taking a deep breath and stepping towards his twin. "Fine. Smecker inside yet?"

"I don't see 'im. Let's go in anyway. We'll look a bit more suspicious if we just fuckin' stand here."

"Let's go in, then." Murphy opened the door and walked through, bracing it for Connor to keep the door open for himself. The diner was fairly empty, which was no surprise since it was between the breakfast and lunch rushes. An older waitress leaned over the counter and eyed them.

"You want a booth? Or is the counter enough for ya?"

"Ah, we're meetin' someone." Connor turned to skim his eyes over the booths and Murphy pulled his hands out of his pocket, unsure of what to do with them to appear calm and normal. His eyes moved to the left as a blonde man turned around to face them.

"They're looking for me." Peter Shafer stood up from his booth and nodded at the two of them without a smile. Murphy's eyes widened and he stayed where he was. Katie's brother was meeting them. Not Smecker. Even the nerves he'd felt hadn't prepared him for that. Katie's brother.

"Come on, Murph." Connor grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the table, shoving him into the booth. Murphy pressed his lips together and nodded again at Peter, hoping to cover his uncertainty.

"Mornin'."

Peter gave a half laugh. "Yeah, good morning."

"Where's Smecker?" Connor slipped his coat off and slid in next to Murphy. Peter sighed and shook his head at the offer of a cigarette. Murphy took one thankfully, hoping that would calm him down.

"He asked me to meet you two instead. I think he's avoiding you."

"Fuckin' should be." He thought he'd muttered the words under his breath but at the quick looks from both Connor and Peter, Murphy knew he'd been heard.

"Look, McManus, if anyone understands how you feel, it's me. As her brother, I wanted to kill him myself. But as a detective, I know that what he did was necessary. It saved your asses."

"I think we'd just rather our asses not be saved at Katie's expense." Connor spoke up for him, tapping his cigarette into the ashtray.

"And I'd be rather pissed if he did it on purpose." Peter responded, receiving a nod from Connor in return. Murphy just brought his thumb up to his mouth, not trusting himself to respond at the moment. "He's trying to make it right by making sure you're there when she wakes up."

"How?"

Peter shifted his gaze from Connor to Murphy and tilted his head. "Katie ever mention our cousin Billy?"

Murphy took a drag and shook his head. They hadn't really had the chance to go over each other's family histories.

"Well, the important thing is that we have one. He's a little taller than you, but he had darker hair and is roughly your age. You are going to be Billy Shafer today."

"It's that simple?" Connor spoke up, his gaze meeting Peter directly. He nodded in response.

"Yeah, basically. Murphy, you'll come in with me. The hospital won't really question you. And if anyone else cares enough to search, they'll find Billy."

"And there's no chance that the real Billy will show up?" Murphy frowned, rolling the cigarette between his fingers.

"Not likely. He and Katie have never been close. Fuck, he's never been close with any of the family. But one thing. Can you get rid of your accent, Murphy?" Murphy nodded. "Good, than you're allowed to speak in the hospital."

Murphy smiled slowly. "Gee, thanks." He tensed then when Peter slid out of the booth and motioned toward them.

"Let's get going."

"Now?" His stomach jumped and Murphy unwillingly followed Connor out of the booth. Peter nodded slowly, giving him what seemed like a look of understanding.

"The sooner the better. She, uh….she needs _you_, Murph." His voice trailed off softly and he glanced around the diner before finally meeting Murphy's gaze.

Murphy felt the tightening around his heart and the lump formed in his throat again. She needed him. But Christ, he needed her, too. And he was going to see her soon. Would be able to touch her soon. Forcing the burning of tears at the base of his throat down, he nodded slowly.

"She'll need ye, too. Once she's awake, she'll need her family, Peter." Murphy squeezed his hand on Peter's shoulder and led the way out of the diner. He felt little hesitation left. He was going to see her and he wasn't going to be able to wait much longer to do so.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Connor kept his hand on his brother's shoulder as they walked into the side entrance of the hospital. Peter had grudgingly agreed to let him come in as well, as long as they kept out of sight of most of the nurses. He would have been more than content to stay outside, but by Murphy's increasing silence, he knew there was a chance his brother might just need him.

They'd both shed their recognizable black coats in the car, Murphy changing into a spare SUNY sweatshirt of Peter's. Peter had worked to try to get them to leave their rosaries behind, but they'd both refused in quiet unison. They didn't go without them anymore. And Connor knew they would continue to wear them constantly until they were safely home in Ireland.

Murphy's body tensed as they drew closer to Katie's room, but Connor was forced to let go of him as they reached the random waiting room he was to stay in, out of the way of everyone else.

"Give her me love, Murph."

Murphy nodded at him slowly and for once, it was his brother that drew him in for a quick hug. "I will. Go find Sara."

Blinking at his words, Connor dipped his head in agreement and sat down in the waiting room. _Sara._ Christ, he'd forgotten about her. In the rush to make sure his brother didn't commit some kind of crime of passion, she'd gotten lost in the shuffle of his mind. Fuck. Pulling out his phone, he saw that it was now nearly eleven. And she hadn't called him.

Glancing around him, he quickly found her number and pushed for it to dial. His heart skipped faster as the rings kept coming and he fought a sigh as her voice mail clicked on.

"Sara, it's me. Christ, where are ye at? I'm sorry I just left without really talkin' ta ye. Call me back. I love ye." Closing his eyes, he ended the call and slipped the phone back into his pocket. She'd told him to leave. That Murphy needed him more. Fuck, would it always come down to choosing between who needed him more?

His fingers itched for a cigarette but Connor fought the urge and stayed where he was. Peter would be headed back this way soon and he knew he shouldn't make him wait alone. Sara might need some space right now, since she was most likely angry at him.

Maybe it was time to get to know Katie's brother a little more. Keep the man occupied. Because even Connor had seen the pain in his eyes. And with Katie still unconscious, Peter was alone. And he had a feeling that both he and Peter could use a drink at the moment. Brother to brother, they might just get along really well.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Murphy could feel the pulse in his temples as he approached the room. The smell of hospital was around him and he was reminded again just how much he hated places like this. But they'd kept Katie alive and for that he had to be thankful of them.

Peter's hand took Connor's place on his shoulder as they neared the room and Murphy found that his feet wouldn't take him in. Peter sighed and nodded toward the door. "Remember that she'll look ten times better when she's awake and smiling at you."

Nodding his head shortly, Murphy couldn't take his eyes away from the curtain. The curtain was all that separated him from Katie. And he couldn't seem to get himself in there. The knot tightened in his stomach and he forced himself to take a shaky breath.

Peter gave him a gentle push inside. "Go, Murphy. You'll feel better when you see her."

Glancing back, Murphy tried to offer him a smile but found that he couldn't. So he just bobbed his head in understanding instead. "Thanks, Peter."

"You're welcome. Take care of my sister and I'll go baby-sit your brother." With one last smile, Peter disappeared from the doorway, leaving Murphy alone.

Picking up his feet, he forced himself to move forward, parting the curtain with his hand, he peeked inside slowly. His heart was in his throat as he stared at her. She seemed pale, her face quietly peaceful with the exception of the dark bruise that loitered over the pale pink of her cheek.

Murphy's hands trembled as he sat down beside her on the bed, ignoring the chair that everyone else seemed to use. Her hair was soft beneath his fingertips and as he leaned in close, he could smell the scent that was uniquely Katie. His Katie.

There was a beeping from beside him, but he tuned it out, his eyes on her face. He searched for any sign of consciousness, but she simply continued to sleep serenely. It was eerie because she was rarely quiet, rarely this peacefully calm.

Pressing his lips to her forehead, he trailed his finger softly down her cheek. She was alive. His Katie was alive.

Without taking his eyes off of her, he pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down in it. Taking her hand, he held it between his, leaning his elbows on the bed. He blinked against the burning behind his eyes and let the air out he'd been holding.

"I'm here now, Katie. Take as long as ye need, because I'll always be right here." Choking on the words, he felt the hot path of tears down his cheeks and watched as his vision of her turned watery. "I'm here." He whispered and rested his forehead against his hands, his lips forming in prayers while he waited.


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: This week's one scene teaser(ish) chapter. Less tease, more reward this week. Enjoy. :)  
**

It was the soft words she couldn't understand that woke her this time. Her pain was barely a muted memory, floating around her, above her and through her. She tried to speak but it came out only as a sigh, a pressured breath. The deep voice continued to caress her ears, its tone familiar and comforting. She'd dreamed of this voice.

A heavy weight held down her right hand and she opened her eyes to a brightly lit room. The dark hair leaning over her right side confused her and she fought to make sense of what she was seeing. Memories crashed into her, Smecker's words rolling over her again and again. The Saints were dead. The Saints were dead.

_Murphy is dead._ She choked on a sob and closed her eyes as the pain in her heart began to throb with the growing pain in her side.

Warm hands grasped her face, a thumb running along the path of tears and she heard her name. "Katie? Katie?"

Blue eyes stared down at her from a face she knew well. _Murphy. No, it can't be._ "You're dead." Her whisper was rough in her throat and the head above her shook slowly, tears falling from his eyes and mixing in with hers.

"No, I'm not. We're not. Oh God, Katie." His accent was thick as his voice trembled. She stared up at him, unsure if she was awake. Unsure if this was another cruel dream. It was only as his lips met hers for a gentle kiss that she knew he was real. That he was alive. That he was really her Murphy.

His arm slipped under her shoulders, lifting her slightly and holding her close to him. She tightened her hold on him, ignoring the pain in her side as she sobbed into his shoulder. "You're here."

"I thought I'd lost ye, Katie." The whisper sounded broken and her breath hitched as she shook her head against him. "I love ye so much."

"I love you too, Murphy."

His hold released on her and she found herself staring up into his face again, his eyes studying her carefully. "How are ye feelin'? Are ye hurtin'?" He kept his hands on her, one gripping her hand and the other softly pushing her hair back away from her face.

She shook her head against the pain. She wasn't going to give into another shot, another heavy sleep. "What happened?"

"Ye got shot, Katie." It sounded forced out and his eyes fluttered away from hers for a moment.

Nodding, she blinked slowly. "I think I remember that."

His eyes focused on hers again and he kissed her forehead gently. "Ye've got ta be in pain. Let me get a nurse in here."

"No." She tightened her hand on his and he narrowed his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"It'll put me out again. I don't wanna go yet."

Murphy pressed his lips together, tucking a few stray hairs behind her ears as he watched her. "Ye're not goin' anywhere. They had ta fuckin' sedate ye last time. That's what made ye sleep." His words were harsh and she caught the flash of anger in his eyes.

"Smecker…" She trailed off as Murphy glanced away.

"Smecker lied ta ye. Ta save us."

"To save you? I don't…" Her mind had started to clear and it seemed obvious to her now. If only she'd understood at the time. "They think you three are dead?"

He nodded. "Aye."

"Why? How?"

"Da made the decision." His thumb trailed up and down her cheek as he looked at her.

"And how do you feel about it, Murph?"

"The psychologist is back, I see." Murphy grinned. She smiled slowly at him but was cut off from responding as footsteps sounded into the room. The nurse looked up surprised at the two of them.

"Kathleen, welcome back. And you've got company." The nurse's eyes narrowed at Murphy who stood up and smiled.

"I'm Billy. Katie's cousin." His lack of accent made Katie grin but she refrained from commenting. The nurse looked him over closely before nodding.

"Where's her brother?"

"Peter's here, too?" Katie found that she was barely able to whisper the words and her heart leapt as Murphy gave her a soft smile of understanding before nodding.

"Yeah, he's here." He turned back to the nurse. "He went to go get some food."

"Good. He needed it. Been here all night long." Her hands were cool on Katie's left arm and she stared at the monitor before checking the chart in her other hand. "You want something to ease that pain?"

"Yes, she does." Murphy's accent slipped a little but the nurse didn't seem to notice, simply nodding.

"Listen to him. You'll be much more comfortable if you do."

"As long as it won't knock me out." Katie watched as the nurse smiled slightly.

"We typically don't sedate for pain, darling. You might feel a bit sleepy, but that's normal."

They all remained silent as the nurse finished up and Katie felt his eyes on her as the nurse left the room. "Ye _were_ hurtin'." It sounded almost like an accusation and she raised an eyebrow at him.

"You have no room to talk, iron man."

His laughter was rich and he kissed her softly. "Ye said something about that on the way here, too."

"I did?"

"Aye, ye did." He moved to sit next to her on the bed, his weight against her right side comfortable. "Am I hurtin' ye?"

"No. I'm fine, Billy." She smiled widely as the humor filled his eyes. His hands stayed in constant contact with her and she was touched that he felt that need. Because she felt it, too. She wasn't alone anymore. And the subsiding pain was nothing compared to what separation from Murphy felt like.

"That was yer fuckin' brother's idea."

"That I figured. I never would have mentioned Billy to you." Katie closed her eyes for a moment and relaxed into her pillow, the warmth of his body next to her making her smile.

"Ye okay?" His fingertips traced her hairline and she nodded. "Ye need ta rest."

He was right, she knew, as she could feel the exhaustion bearing down on her already, despite the fact that she'd done absolutely nothing. But she couldn't sleep yet, couldn't give in to it. There was more she had to ask, more she had to know. Glancing up at him again, she shook her head. "Not yet. How is everyone else?"

"Worried sick, but otherwise, they're fuckin' fine. Connor sends his love."

She grinned, her eyes back on his. "He does, huh?"

"Yeah. I think he was a tiny bit concerned."

"Whatever for?"

"No fuckin' idea. But he _has_ always been the worrier o' the family."

Katie smiled, knowing it wasn't true. Connor was only the biggest worrier when it came to Murphy. Otherwise, Murphy was the overwrought hen of the McManus clan. _And I almost lost them._ The thought came from out of nowhere, hitting her quickly and she sighed. Murphy had to know the truth. He had to know what happened.

"Tommy was behind it all." She spoke the words carefully, bracing for the burst of anger she was sure would come. There was some heat in his gaze but he just nodded.

"Aye, that we fuckin' know. Sara told us."

"Did you get him?"

"No. But I hope we will."

"I hope you don't." She kept her voice level but her heart beat steadily faster as he frowned at her.

"How can ye say that? He pointed a gun at ye. He's the fuckin' reason yer lying here."

"And, in a way, he's the reason you are still alive. And the reason the Saints are dead. I hope he runs and lives the rest of his cowardly life hidden. I don't want to lose you three to another battle with him. He's not fucking worth it, Murph." She bit the words off sharply and he shook his head at her. Katie let out a sigh and shifted against him. The need to close her eyes was beginning to overwhelm her but she couldn't go yet. She had to make him understand.

"Shhh…it's not worth ye gettin' upset over. Close yer eyes now. Ye need ta rest." He ran his hand over her hair.

"Promise me, Murphy. Promise you'll leave it alone."

Murphy's eyes narrowed at her and she could have sworn it was in annoyance. "Why? He needs ta pay fer what he's done."

"Yeah, well, vengeance hasn't done anyone any good so far. So why continue looking for it?" She heard the weakness in her voice and took another deep breath. "You can finally be free of being a Saint."

"Free?"

Katie nodded, closing her eyes for a moment. He sighed. "Sleep, Katie. We'll talk about this later."

She looked back up at him, noticing for the first time the weariness around his eyes. "You could be free to be yourself. To be Murphy McManus again. And I could be Katie. And we could be Murphy and Katie. Freely. Without the constant fear of mafia retaliation and death."

His voice was soft as he stared down at her. "How long have ye felt this way, Katie?"

Katie swallowed hard against the lump in her throat and pressed her lips together. "Since I was told that the Saints were dead. I won't lose you again, Murph. I can't."

Nodding slowly, he gazed at her. "Ye won't Katie. I'm not goin' anywhere. I'm right here."

"You said that in my dream, too." She only realized she was whispering as he leaned closer to hear her.

"And I'll say it again. Ye can rest, m'love. I'll be right here." His lips met hers gently and his eyes stared down at her again.

"Tá mo chroí istigh ionat" The quiet words hovered down to her as he spoke next to her ear. The words didn't translate, but the love within them reached her. And she smiled at him before she closed her eyes, giving into the oncoming darkness.

**'Tá mo chroí istigh ionat' is Irish Gaelic for 'My heart is within you'**


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: Updated as of way too early in the morning 7/14/06 (i.e., it's been betaized...I like my new word...one that I probably stole from someone on here...)  
**

The room had become quiet since she went back to sleep. It was too quiet and Murphy's dislike of hospitals was growing steadily stronger. The plastic chair was hardly comfortable, but he was afraid to move too far from her.

The same nurse had come in twice, nodding slightly at him and checking on Katie in complete silence. He found himself holding his breath in those moments, watching the nurse's face carefully to make sure nothing had gone wrong. But each time, the nurse simply met his gaze and gave him a small smile before walking back out the door.

Holding her hand kept him calm for short bits of time before her lack of response to his gazes and whispered words began to get to him again. The joy of having her back was still there, but he was slowly beginning to understand that things were different now. He didn't know if that meant it had changed for good, but he felt differently about her and about them and about the world around him.

He loved her. That much he'd known before the warehouse, before the shooting of Frankie's gun had cut off his breathing for long moments. In those moments before he knew whether or not she was still with them, his love for her had intensified. And he'd known as he had knelt in that church that losing her would kill him, too.

But he hadn't lost her and the feelings were still there. He was afraid to let go of her, afraid to leave for the cigarette he so desperately needed, afraid that if he blinked too slowly that she might disappear.

So he waited, tapping his fingers against his leg in some attempt of rhythm, his mind reaching into the depths of all logic. What if they'd never come back to Boston? What if he'd never met her, never been able to save her from the mafia? What if he had never had the chance to feel again, to care about what actually happened to him? Fuck, what if Rocco had never died?

The thought of losing Rocco still stung him, despite the fact that he and Connor never spoke about him anymore. The anniversary of his death had gone by without recognition, only the extra few moments of prayer Murphy had added for Rocco's soul that day. The world had kept turning without 'the funny man' and Murphy was now just beginning to understand that maybe even his death had a purpose.

They'd been headed for certain doom with Rocco among them, and while even Da hadn't been able to save them from all the possible danger, he'd managed to keep them alive. And through the year that had passed, Connor had mentioned to him in the few brief conversations they'd had about Rocco, that maybe Rocco's purpose in life had been his death. His martyrdom. The loss of him redirected them in their duty to God. And his death made them realize the sacrifice they were truly making.

And as he now stared over at Katie again, he wondered that if she had died, would he ever have been able to accept that her death had a purpose too? Each major moment in his life had been there for a reason, he supposed, each taking away options or blocking off paths. And each bringing him to where he was today, in a hospital in South Boston. If Katie's death would have meant something than there was a good possibility her life meant something too.

She seemed too good for him, so much more than he deserved after all that he'd done in his life. Even with her past to make her human, she wasn't jaded or hardened by it. The love she gave him made him want to be a better man, a better human, in ways that he'd never considered before. And with everything changing as it had, Murphy couldn't help but wonder if he could ever go back to being 'Murphy McManus' as she wanted him to. Did the original Murphy McManus deserve her any more than the current one did?

Katie made a soft noise as she shifted on the bed, tearing his attention away from his thoughts. Her eyes remained closed, her face calm and he knew she was still sleeping. Sighing, Murphy ran his hands over his face and leaned back in the chair. Christ, he needed something to do.

His eyes landed on the television remote as he glanced around the room and he picked it up, switching it on. If nothing else, it would be a good distraction. Flipping through the channels, he paused on the news as something caught his attention.

_"And in other news today, rumors had finally been confirmed with the Boston Police Department. The vigilante men know as 'The Saints' are believed to be dead after an early evening fire last night at an abandoned warehouse in South Boston. 'The Saints' are known best for their string of mob murders last year, including the very public execution of Joesph 'Papa Joe' Yakavetta in the downtown courthouse. According to the press conference this morning, several witnesses place the three men at the scene. So far, no other bodies have been recovered in what turned out to be a very deadly fire. At least one other victim was found after the firefighters managed to put out the flames. And now in sports news…"_

Murphy changed the channel, his eyes focused unseeing on the screen. _It worked. It fuckin' worked._ Grinning, he glanced over at Katie, hoping to find she was awake to share the news with. Her eyes remained closed, but he didn't let that bother him. The Saints were dead and before long she would be awake again for him to share the news with her.

Within a few minutes of flipping the channels, he found a movie and settled into his seat to watch it. He was nearly half way into Rambo IV when he finally heard her start to stir again. She sighed lightly and her eyes opened slowly, focusing on the lit up screen across the room. "Well, that's one way to know that you're still here."

Grinning, Murphy turned it down and moved to sit next to her on the bed again. The emotions had come in tides, slowly waving in and out again. His chest felt tight as he looked down at her, but he smiled through it. "Ye feel okay?"

"Why do I have a feeling I'm going to get sick of that question?"

"And why are ye already refusin' ta answer it?" He countered lightly, his fingers brushing over her forehead. "Just answer this: are ye feelin' any pain?"

"I'm fine, Murph." She sighed, interlocking her fingers with his own and trying to sit up slightly. He helped her move into a more comfortable position without another word. "I'm fine. So get the 'Mother Murphy' look off of your face."

He laughed. "Mother Murphy?"

"Yeah, that look you get every time you're worried about something." She kept her tone light but he felt some of the tension slip back into his gut and knew by her silence she could tell. Her hand gripped his tighter.

"I can't fuckin' help it. Ye don't know what it's been like…" His voice trailed off into a whisper, his eyes focused on the blanket over her stomach. Forcing a deep breath, he shook his head against the floating memories. She didn't need to know. It would do her no good to know. "But everything's okay now."

"Damn right it is." She tightened her arms around him as he leaned down to kiss her. "Now, just break me out of this joint and everything will be great."

"Break ye out?" He grinned, kissing her lightly again before sitting back up. Her hands slid from his shoulders with the movement, slipping down to hold his hands. He interlocked their fingers again, moving his thumbs gently over the back of her hands.

"Yeah, you know, file in the cake and all. I've never liked hospitals."

"A woman after me own heart." He squeezed her hands lightly before letting go and standing up. Moving over to his coat, he reached into his pocket and hid the necklace in his hand.

"You're not leaving me, are you?" There was a smile in her voice but he could tell she was partly serious.

"Not yet. They'll have ta fuckin' drag me out." He took his place back on the bed and held out his hand like he'd done before. Her eyes narrowed as she stared at him.

"Black power again?"

"Someday, ye're gonna have ta explain that one ta me. But no, it's a gift for ye. A loan o' sorts." Picking up her left hand, he flipped it so that it was palm up. Cupping the hand, he let the necklace fall into her palm, the cross landing on top.

"Murph. You fixed it already?" Her voice was barely a whisper and he noticed the shaking in her hands as she looked at it closer.

"Not quite. It's Conn's. That's why it's a loan."

Flipping it around, she looked quickly at the back and smiled slightly. "It is Connor's. I like the one with the 'M' on it better."

Murphy smiled slowly at that, running his fingers over her hands. "He told me ta remind you that there are only the two o' us. So if ye break this one, there isn't anything else."

"Do me a favor, Murph?"

"What?"

"Tell Conn to fuck off." She grinned widely, her eyes still on the cross for a moment before rising to meet his gaze. "But make sure he knows I'm kidding."

"I'll tell him the first part, and ye can tell him you're teasing when ye see him next."

"Christ, I hope that's soon. I can't stand another day in here."

He laughed softly. "Ye've been awake for four whole hours total, Katie. I don't believe ye've given the hospital a fair fuckin' chance."

"And I'm not going to. Break me out or I'll find my own way." She just smiled sweetly as he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Bed sheets out the fuckin' window?"

Glancing at the window, she tilted her head. "How high up are we?"

Chuckling in response, Murphy just shook his head. "It won't be so bad. I'll just spend the days with ye. Maybe I'll even bring Connor, too."

Her eyes were on him for a moment as she grew serious. Shaking her head, she traced her finger over his hand. "No. Don't come back and don't bring Conn."

Narrowing his eyes, Murphy frowned at her. "Why the fuck not?"

"Murph, think about it. You'll just open yourselves up to getting caught. I'll be home soon enough. It's not worth risking it."

"Ye're wrong, Katie. Maybe I won't bring Conn, but ye can't keep me away, too." He pulled his hand away from her and crossed his arms over his chest. His heart beat a little faster as she got the stubborn look in her eyes. _Christ Katie, don't ask me ta leave and not come back ta ye. I can't wait that fuckin' long._

"Please. Once the news about the Saints is out, you'll be more recognizable again." Her hand was warm on his knee and Murphy brought his eyes back to her face.

She had a good point. But she didn't realize just how much he didn't care. Waiting would be hard, too hard. He'd waited long enough to see her again. He had to make her understand.

Leaning forward, Murphy cupped her cheek in his hand and ran his thumb over her lips softly. He kissed her gently, finally allowing some emotion into it. The tight feeling in his chest softened as she responded, her arms reaching up to wrap around his neck. After a few long moments, he broke the contact, hovering close to her.

"Ye don't know how hard it would be ta wait. Please, don't make me wait ta see ye again." His words came out as barely a whisper. He saw the watery emotions in her eyes before she pulled him closer to press her lips to his again.

The clearing of a throat broke them apart and Murphy turned quickly to look behind them. Peter stood near the end of the curtain, managing to smirk and look pissed at the same time. "Kissing cousins?"

"Peter, you're back." Katie's low voice made Peter smile and he moved to the other side of the bed. Taking her hand, he kissed her forehead.

"You're awake." His voice seemed light but Murphy could see the emotions he was trying to hold back. "Awake and getting it on with the man who is supposed to be your cousin."

"Peter!" Laughing, she pulled her hand out of his and pushed him away.

"Okay, fast forward through embarrassing conversation. Don't do it. He's supposed to be your cousin. Wait until you get home, at least. And hide it from me, please."

"Forgot about the whole cousins part." Murphy grinned and felt a little less guilty as Peter finally smiled back.

"Couldn't tell." He shook his head before glancing down at Katie again. "Want the good news or the bad news first?"

"Ah, the good news."

"Should've known. Good news, the doctor thinks you'll be able to go home tomorrow."

Murphy felt warmth spread throughout his body as Katie squeezed his hand and grinned at him. "You won't have to break me out after all. Argument solved."

"We'll see about that, a ghrá. The bad news, Peter?" He raised his eyes to her brother, who smiled sheepishly.

"I've got to kick you out soon, McManus. Visitor's hours are almost over."

"McManus?" Katie grinned up at her brother. Murphy just shook his head with a small smile.

"Aye. Ye're brother and I are on a fuckin' last name basis."

"It's a guy thing, Katie."

"Whatever, _Shafer._" She made a face as he gave her a look. "It might get confusing though when there are all three McManuses around."

"Well take care o' that when it comes." Murphy winked at her before looking back up at Peter. "Can I talk ta ye for a minute?" He nodded toward the door and Peter dipped his head in understanding. Katie rolled her eyes.

"Not this again, boys."

"It's nothin' big, Katie. We'll be right back."

"Peter." She warned with his name alone and Murphy watched his face light up in a grin.

"Haven't heard that for awhile."

"You have any paper?" Her words caught them both off guard and Murphy stared at her. She gave a half shrug and he could tell she was already getting tired again. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea for him to leave soon. Her eyes went back and forth between the two of them before she raised her eyebrows. "I need to write something down. Paper? A pen? Please?

Peter moved to the cupboard where his coat was stored and pulled out a small notebook. Clicking the top of the pen, he handed them over to her. "What are you writing?"

"Your last will and testament. Because if you get in a fight with Murphy, I'm going to kill you."

"Fine, but you're taking a nap beforehand."

Murphy hid a smile behind his hand but caught a glare from her anyway. Peter nodded toward the door and they walked out to the sound of Katie's sigh. Shoving his hands into his pocket, Murphy led him further away from the door.

He knew he needed to talk to her brother, but he wasn't sure how to start. There was a chance Peter put Murphy at fault for Katie's injuries, and Murphy couldn't argue much with that. He knew he'd feel the same if he were in Peter's position. But he wasn't and there were a few things he needed him to understand. To accept.

"What's going on, Murphy?" Peter's voice was weary and Murphy noticed for the first time the exhaustion in the man's face. He'd kept it hidden fairly well around Katie. Christ, her brother needed more of a break from all of this than he thought.

"Ah, how are ye doin'?" The words came out before he'd put thought behind them and he could tell they weren't expected by either of them. But Peter's face softened and he shrugged as his eyes wandered toward her room.

"Not terrible."

"Thank ye for lettin' me come today. And…and I'm sorry that I… that I let her get into that situation." His throat tightened on the words and Murphy stopped, his eyes on the floor.

"I don't blame you, Murph. Well, I did actually, but Sara talked me out of it."

"She did?"

Peter laughed softly, glancing at Murphy with a nod. "Yeah, let's just say she's persuasive."

"She's somethin', that's for sure. I'm just not sure what, yet." He shared a knowing grin with him.

"You didn't drag me out here to talk about Sara. What's going on?"

"Take care o' her for me, Peter. I feel like a fuckin' ass leavin' her here tonight alone."

Sighing, Peter ran a hand over his face. "She won't be here alone. I'm staying the night again."

"Ye are?"

"She's all I have. I don't feel right being anywhere else." His answer was soft and with a pang of guilt, Murphy realized that none of them had completely considered what her brother had been going through. The thought of losing his own brother brought the familiar sick feeling back to him again and he swallowed hard against it. No one should ever have to feel that way.

"Ye're not alone, Peter. Ye've got us too, if ye want us." He kept his tone light, not wanting to make her brother feel uncomfortable, but as Peter's eyes rose to meet his again, Murphy knew he'd said the right thing. They were both silent for a moment before he nodded back.

And Murphy realized as he shared a smile with the younger man that he meant what he'd said. He didn't know Peter very well yet, but he cared about what happened to him. He knew somehow that her brother would fit in rather well with the rest of them. And suddenly, he no longer felt the need to make Peter understand. Because he already did, without Murphy's effort. In fact, Katie's brother might just understand his feelings the most.

"I…ah, I suppose I better go say goodbye ta her." Murphy kept his tone light and moved into the room again, feeling Peter hesitate only slightly before following behind him. Katie held a folded square of paper in her hand and her eyes opened as they moved past the curtain.

"Care to tell me what's going on?"

"Not fuckin' likely." He grinned slowly as she gave him an annoyed look. As he took her hand, he noticed that she looked really tired now and he couldn't help but wonder how long it would be before she got back to normal.

"Fine. Give this to Connor, will you?" She held out the note with her other hand, slipping it into his back pocket.

"Are ye gonna tell me what it says?"

"Not fucking likely." Her smile was sweet and she kissed him lightly. "Read it and…"

"And what?"

"I'll send my brother after you."

Peter cleared his throat from the edge of the bed. "Excuse me?"

"Just go with it." Winking at him, she shifted her gaze back to Murphy. "You leaving me now?"

"I wish I didn't have ta. But ye need yer rest, m'dear." He brushed his hand over her hair, tucking a few free strands behind her ear. Her eyes were on his face and he knew she was trying to read him. So he pushed the misery of having to leave her down further and gave her a small smile. "Ye need ta rest here, so ye can get back ta work when ye get back home tomorrow."

"Oh really?" She whispered softly. Murphy kissed her gently, allowing himself only to linger for a moment. Kissing Katie was powerful and he couldn't get lost in it yet. It wasn't the time for that yet.

"Aye. Ye don't know how lost we've been without ye." His teasing words held truth in it. The emotions were clear in her eyes and he knew he had to lighten the moment. "We've got nobody ta make us pancakes."

"Ah, poor things. I'll be sure to slave away as soon as I get there."

"Good. We'll leave plenty for ye ta do." He kissed her again lightly, pulling away completely this time. Her hand gripped his tightly for a moment before she released it with a smile.

"Now you better go. I've got another date coming to meet me soon."

Murphy gave a short laugh, surprised that he could still smile. His stomach twisted as he slipped his coat off of the chair. "I'll see ye tomorrow than, Katie."

She nodded, pressing her lips together and he moved toward her again, kissing the top of her head. "I love ye."

"I love you, too Murph. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Moving toward the curtain, Murphy managed a nod at Peter before he glanced back at Katie again. Giving her one final nod, he forced himself to walk out of the room. His fingers began digging for a cigarette before he even reached the exit, and he knew that he'd need the entire walk home alone before he could face anybody.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Connor set his phone back on the coffee table, his eyes on the television again.

"Can ye believe this shite, Conn?" Da's voice was low and his eyes were fixed on the screen as well. Yet another news channel had just covered the story of their 'deaths' and so far, none of the reporters had seemed upset about it. Apparently, despite the good they'd done, their efforts were still seen as evil and immoral.

"I can't help but ta wonder when illegal came ta mean the same fuckin' thing as evil. Are we the only sane ones left in this fuckin' country?"

"It's the way o' society, m'boy. The laws become the word of God ta the citizens until the need comes up fer better laws." Da leaned over in his chair and lit another cigar. Connor took a long drag of his nearly finished cigarette.

"Well, it's 'bout fuckin' time the laws changed. Fer Christ's sake, Da-"

"Watch yer tongue."

He sighed at Da's warning and leaned back against the couch again. Da changed the channel, searching for another news broadcast and Connor shook his head. It wasn't worth it.

But he couldn't wait to see Murphy's reaction to the news, knowing his brother was as likely to be as outraged as he was. After all this time of risking their asses for the justice of the people, this is how they were repaid.

"Ye can't expect 'em ta understand what we've been doin'." Da's voice was soft and Connor looked over to find he was being watched. "They can't understand the depths we reached and all that we've done for them. But ye know that they'll notice our absence. Then they'll begin ta know what they've really lost."

_What would they be losing?_ He couldn't help but wonder as he brought the cigarette to his lips again. It couldn't be half of what they'd already lost. What the Saints had already sacrificed to their cause. Connor worked to find an answer as he blew smoke rings out, but his efforts were interrupted as the door opened.

A wet haired Murphy stepped in and their eyes met for a long moment. Then his brother smiled. "It's fuckin' rainin' out there."

"Ye're fuckin' kiddin'." Connor felt the tension in his shoulders vanish as his brother stepped lightly across the room. Things were good. That much he could tell by the look on Murphy's face and that was enough for him. He'd felt the sorrow while being separated from his brother and he knew that the feeling wasn't his own. His brother's misery had been so strong that Connor had felt it too. It was something that hadn't happened in a long time and without even mentioning it to his brother, he knew Murphy had felt their connection.

Pulling the stub of a cigarette out of his hands, Murphy took a long drag of it.

"Hey, get yer own fuckin' cigarette."

"Not nearly as fun as stealin' yers." He slipped off his coat and tossed it to the empty chair, adjusting the rosary around his neck in one solid movement.

"So, how's the lass?"

Murphy grinned at Da and shifted so that he could see them both. "She's good. And, she's comin' home tomorrow."

"Already? That's fuckin' wonderful, Murph!" Connor elbowed Murphy who pushed back at him, never losing his smile.

"She was smilin' and laughin' with me. She's not at full strength yet, but…" His voice wavered slightly and his eyes were bright as they met Connor's fully. "But she's Katie."

"I'm glad ta hear that, m'boy. Did ye send 'er our love?"

"Of course. Oh!" Murphy leaned forward and pulled a piece of paper from his back pocket. "That and she gave me a fuckin' note fer ye, Conn."

"What's it say?" Reaching out, Connor felt happy at the thought of her writing a note especially for him.

"Don't fuckin' know. She wouldn't tell me."

"And ye expect me ta think ye didn't read it?" He raised an eyebrow at Murphy as he unfolded the slightly damp paper.

"Didn't think about it once I got out o' the fuckin' hospital. What's it say?"

Connor waved Murphy away as he glanced down at it.

"Oh fuck, Conn. Just read it aloud ta both of us."

"Fine, just stop grabbin' at the fuckin' thing." Connor's eyes focused on the loopy letters and he realized he hadn't even seen Katie's writing for awhile. He'd have to get her to write him more notes. Just to bother Murphy, if nothing else. His brother sighed heavily next to him and Connor couldn't help but grin. "Okay, okay. Here goes."

"Conn, I'm glad ta hear that me three boys are alive. Even if the Saints are dead. I'm more attached ta the real ones anyway." Connor grinned and felt rather than heard Murphy chuckle beside him. "It sounds like I'm breakin' outta this joint soon, so ye better prepare for me. But I did have a question for ye. Have I passed yer initiation? Does this make me a Saint?"

He reread the words before he understood their meaning. The lump in his throat appeared again and he felt his heart beat a little faster as he stared down at them.

"What the fuck does she mean by that? What's the fuckin' initiation?" Murphy sounded annoyed and Connor glanced over at him. They were both silent for a moment before his brother turned to completely face him. "What's wrong, Conn?"

"It was a fuckin' bad joke. She asked me once if it was a fuckin' McManus initiation ta interrupt her showers. I just fuckin' laughed and told her that the initiation was gettin' shot. Fuck. She doesn't forget a fuckin' thing."

"I think she meant it as a joke, Connor." Da spoke from his chair and Connor looked over at him. "Ye couldn't have possibly predicted this happenin'."

"Fuck, I know that Da. I just…fuck." Sighing, Connor glanced back down at the note, staring it at without actually reading. A hand slipped the note from his fingers and he heard Murphy start reading.

"Honestly, I miss all o' ye. Smack Murph a few times fer me for the hell o' it and take care o' him for me tonight. Ye know how he is. Love ye, Katie." Murphy laughed softly, elbowing him in the side. "What the fuck is that about? 'Ye know how he is'? Just how am I?"

"Ye're you. And that's all I'm sayin'." He gave Murphy a half smile, clasping his hands in front of him.

"Ye best be leavin' it at that, m'boys. But I say we should celebrate the good news. Let's order pizza."

"And get drunk." Murphy added, laughing softly as both Da and Connor gave him a look. "Wasn't completely fuckin' serious."

Shrugging, Connor laid the note on the table and leaned back with a sigh. The sheer happiness he'd felt at Murphy's news was dampened down by the words of her note. He knew that as Da said, Katie meant it in a teasing way, but the reality of her words couldn't help but bother him.

Anyone that stayed around them long enough got hurt, usually shot. And that, he realized, was the reason he was glad to be done as a Saint. The risk of something happening to Sara otherwise was too high. And that was something he couldn't let happen. It was one of those risks he was no longer willing to take. Everything had changed for them.

Sitting up quickly, Connor dialed Sara's apartment number again. She hadn't called back yet, despite the two messages he'd left at her office. It didn't completely worry him yet, because he knew that she was most likely not at work. And with her cell phone gone, she was near impossible to reach.

Her answering machine picked up and he fell back with a sigh. Waiting for the beep, he took a deep breath. "Hey, Sara. It's me. Ye must just not be home yet. Call me. Please. I've got somethin' for ye ta take ta Katie for me. Love ye. Bye."

Da was distracted on his cell phone as Connor hung up but he realized that Murphy was still watching him. "What was that about?"

Sighing, Connor rubbed his hand over the back of his head. "I haven't caught up with Sara yet."

"She's probably at work or the hospital. What do ye have for her ta take ta Katie?"

"Katie wrote me a note. It's my turn ta respond."

Murphy shook his head with a smile. "Do I even want to know?"

"Just leave it ta me, Murph. Katie'll enjoy my note. I promise ye."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The room was empty again when Katie woke up. The sky outside was dark, save for the lightening strikes every minute or so. Stretching as much as she could, she fought the stiffness in her back and realized she needed to get up again.

The last time she got up, Peter had been there to help her slid out of bed and to make sure she didn't fall. But it had been her first time out of bed all day and after the first unsteady step, she had little trouble moving on her own; as least as long as she didn't use any of her abdominal muscles.

It was that pain that she knew she'd need to get used to, because after she went home, there would be no more numbing shots for her. Katie was sure there would be pain medication, but she knew that wouldn't do nearly as well at keeping the pain away as whatever it was they were giving her in the hospital.

But she didn't think she'd mind the pain. Pain was good. Pain meant she was alive. Seeing Murphy's tears had made her realize just how close she'd been to never feeling pain again. And while she couldn't allow herself to regret anything she'd done the day before, she had to recognize that she could've died.

She sighed as the heavy feeling settled back in the pit of her stomach. She missed Murphy already, and she hadn't spent nearly enough time with him yet. Her memories of the warehouse were still confused, but her heart ached when she pictured his bloodied face and tortured eyes as she had walked into the room were they were being held.

_I could've fucking lost them._ The words ran through her mind again as they had all day since waking up to Murphy that morning. Katie shook her head to drive the words from her mind, knowing it would do her no good to think that way. They were alive, and safe and probably having a hell of a good time at home. Without her. _Fuckers._ Grinning, she moved to the window.

Sara's purse sat on the ledge and Katie's eyes caught sight of a folded sheet of paper sitting on the top of it. A small piece of tape sealed it and she did a double take when she saw her name on it. _Kathleen._ Who the hell used her full name like that?

The writing was unfamiliar and she picked it up, flipping the note over in her hands. Just holding the note brought back memories of passing notes in school and she opened it with a big smile on her face. Glancing at the bottom, she chuckled when she saw Connor's name at the bottom. _An answer to my note._

Folding the note back up, Katie ran her hand along the bed for support as she moved to sit back down. She gritted her teeth against the pain as she managed to half slide, half pull herself on. It'd been much easier when Peter was helping her. In fact, the only reason she'd been able to do it this time by herself, she knew, was because the bed was up higher than a normal bed. _Great, a preview of what life at home will be like._

As the burning in her abdomen finally began to fade, she opened the note again. His writing was a lot like Murphy's, she realized, but at the same time there was a distinct difference. But it was one that she couldn't quite put her finger on. Shifting slightly, she began to read.

_Katie,_

_Thank you for your inquiry into a position with Irish Brothers, Inc.  
However, I'm afraid that your request for 'Saint' status had been turned down for the following reasons: _

_1.) you are not fully qualified to handle at least three firearms, and _

_2.) you are neither a man nor an Irish brother (we are a sexist pig of an organization.)_

_However, after further review by our committee, it had come to our attention that you are much better qualified  
for a more supportive position with our organization. Irish Brothers, Inc. would like you invite you to accept the position of 'Angel'.  
In other words, Katie, you are too good to be a Saint. You are an Angel, a guardian of us lowly Saints. And for that we will always be grateful.  
The ritual smacking of Murphy has been taken care of. Take care of yourself now. And come home soon. Please. We are a bit nuts without you._

_Sincerely, a mere Saint  
(Love always,  
Connor)_

She stared at the letter in slight shock, allowing herself to laugh only as she read it the second time. Tears streamed down her face but she continued to laugh and read it again. Despite the pain from her left side, and despite the confused looks from both Peter and Sara as they entered the room a few minutes later, she kept smiling through the tears.

As they stepped forward, looking more than a little concerned, Katie simply handed the letter over, at loss for words. Only a McManus could have managed to inject humor into what had otherwise been overly emotional situation. And as the tears fell from Sara's eyes, Katie knew things were finally alright. Things were finally going to be okay.


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: Happy Thursday to all! This chapter has officially been betaized...thanks Anasazi Darkmoon! **

It was late when Sara finally left Katie's hospital room. Seeing Katie had made her feel much better about things and hearing Connor's note to her made her realize a few things.

She knew somewhere deep down that she was right to feel abandoned. There was no reason she should have ignored the feelings that were honest and, somewhat, expected. But at the same time, she knew she had some decisions to make. Connor's love for his brother was one of the things she liked best about him. He was not only a family man, but he was capable of such a deep love that she knew there was absolutely nothing he wouldn't do or say for Murphy.

But with everything good part of that, came some not-so-good parts. That meant that there would be times that his attention would be divided. And Sara knew he'd made the right choice when he'd walked out to find Murphy. She could only hope that he'd recognize those moments that she needed him more, too.

As Peter walked her out of the front entrance to the hospital, she tried to push those thoughts aside. He'd been somewhat quiet all night, allowing the two girls to lead the conversation and only offering input when they'd asked for it.

"She seems better, like she's getting her energy back." Sara glanced over at Peter as she bounced a little to keep warm in the breeze. He stepped forward slightly, turning toward her to shield her from the wind, and she knew he had done it without even thinking about it.

"Yeah, she does. The doctor said that would be the biggest thing for now, as long as her stitches heal and all without a problem."

"It's amazing how it all seems so minor now. It's almost like she's just had her fucking appendix out or something. Not like she's been shot."

The muscle in Peter's jaw tightened at her words but Sara watched him keep whatever emotions he'd felt back. He offered her a simple nod. "Almost."

"But not quite, huh?"

"No, not quite." His hands pushed deeper into his coat pocket and he sighed. "Fuck, Sara. I don't even know where to go from here. It all just exploded the other night."

She glanced at Peter quickly, more than a little surprised that he was opening himself up to her. That he was actually speaking about something so personal to anyone but Katie. But then again, she supposed, with the situation as it was, Katie wasn't exactly the best choice.

"You move forward, I guess. What were your plans once you were done with being undercover?"

Shrugging, he glanced down the street. "Didn't think that far. Figured it'd be obvious once I found her."

"Well, what do you want to do? Go back to be on the force in Stillwater? Bust keggers parties and pull over old ladies on their way to the grocery store?" Sara smiled as he shot a grin at her.

"Sure beats kissing up to the mafia."

"Then do it. Go home, find yourself a girl and park your patrol car in the bushes near the only red light in town."

"There are two red lights in Stillwater." He laughed softly, his eyes finding hers. Pressing his lips together, he shook his head. "I can't just leave Katie though. And I don't think she'll come home to Stillwater with me."

"Why can't you leave Katie? She'll be okay here."

"She's my family." His answer was simple and Sara knew that he saw it that way. Same old Peter, everything was black and white. Only one right answer to everything. But it was about time he started seeing some gray.

"And being more than two miles apart won't make her any less your family. Now if you want to stay here for yourself, than do it. But if it's for her, you are wasting your time, Peter. She loves you, but she doesn't have to have you next to her to survive."

"No, she just gets shot without me."

"Peter." She warned softly and he gave her one of the few looks that always managed to remind her that he was younger. That he was the baby of the Shafer family. The family she'd basically become part of the day she met Katie.

"It's true, Sar. You can't argue it."

Gritting her teeth, Sara turned toward him, crossing her arms over her chest. She was getting sick of the guilt and blame game. "No, but I can smack you for it. Because if you ever say that to Katie, she'll smack you, too. And then I'll smack you again. Katie getting shot had nothing to do with you. It was not Murphy or Connor's fault and it's not your fault. It's fucking Frankie's fault and we can't smack him because he's dead. Stop over-dramatizing the fucking issue and just realize that Katie is alive. She's alive and she's going to live a normal life, without you or Murphy smothering her. And I'll do what I have to, to make sure that it stays that way."

Peter just stared at her and sighed before nodding behind her. "Here comes your cab."

"Answer me, Peter."

"Answer what? You didn't exactly ask me a fucking question there."

"Tell me you are done blaming people, including yourself. Tell me that you'll just accept that Katie was shot and that she survived."

"How about I just tell you that I need to sort things out? Without you in my head."

"Fine. But remember one thing Peter, you are not alone here. Katie isn't all you have."

He finally gave her a small smile. "Yeah, I've been told that once today."

"By who?"

"Murphy. Now go. Your cab is waiting."

Sara hugged him quickly before moving toward the cab. "Plan on bringing Katie to the McManuses' apartment when she gets released."

"Why?" He leaned closed to the window as she got in and rolled it down.

"Because, I'm planning something. We're going to welcome Katie home properly."

"Good, because if we don't, I'm sure she'll turn right around and leave." He teased her and she just made a face at him, waving him away from the car.

"I'll call you in the morning."

"I'll be sure to ignore my phone." Grinning, he raised his hand as the cab pulled away.

"Asshole." Sara chuckled as she leaned back against the cool leather seat.

The idea of a party for Katie had occurred to her several hours before, when Peter had given her the news of her being released the next day. She knew that Katie wouldn't expect anything and that made the idea that much more exciting.

Digging into her purse, she sighed when she realized she still didn't have her cell phone. The reminder brought back images of the last time they were in McGinty's and Sara closed her eyes against the whiskey she could still smell without an effort. Shaking her head, she forced her mind onto other things for the remainder of the ride.

After getting into her apartment, she picked up her phone and brought it to the couch with her. Turning on the news, she muted it and dialed Connor's cell phone. It barely rang once before he picked it up.

"Sara?"

"Hey. What are you doing?"

"Ah, talkin' with Murphy and Da. What are ye doin' yerself?" His voice sounded funny and she realized that he was working hard to speak carefully. Laughing, she switched the phone to her other ear.

"Are you drunk, Connor?"

"Fuck, no. I'm had…five fuckin' beers, is all." In the background she heard Murphy shout something. "Okay, fine, I've had six. Me fuckin' brother feels the need ta count my alcohol intake fer the evenin'."

"And you're not drunk?" She grinned as he sighed dramatically.

"No, Sara. I'm not that much of a fuckin' lightweight. I'm barely feelin' it."

"Right."

"What are ye callin' about anyhow? How did Katie like me note?" He chuckled softly.

"She wants to know what the pay is like for that position. She wants to make sure it matches her other offers."

He laughed louder. "Fuck, she has other fuckin' offers, huh?"

"Of course. Angels are very much in demand right now."

"We'll keep that in mind as we discuss her fuckin' pay at the next meetin'."

Sara grinned. "Good. Oh, and I did get your other messages. The ones at work."

"Oh, ye did?" His voice turned slightly serious and she fought a sigh.

"There's no need to apologize. You did nothing wrong, Conn."

"I ditched ye, Sara." He kept his voice low and she knew he was trying to keep his conversation from the other two.

"We'll talk about it later. But I just wanted you to know that I'm not upset or anything. I was, until I really thought about it. But I'm not now. I understand."

"And that, m'Sara is why I love ye. Ye understand me even when ye don't."

She laughed at the confusing state of his sentence, shaking her head. "And that's why I love you, Connor. You make sense even when you don't. Now you boys have fun tonight, but be ready to do some work tomorrow morning."

"What type o' work?"

"Surprise work. You'll find out tomorrow."

"Aye. Fine, but Murphy says there'll be no fuckin' strippers fer Katie's surprise homecomin' party." There was a smile in his voice and Sara couldn't help but laugh.

"How the fuck did you guess that?"

"I know ye, m'dear. And I know what tomorrow brings."

"Than you'll know to be awake and ready to go, right?"

"Fuckin' bright tailed and bushy eyed." He laughed and she rolled her eyes.

"Connor, you aren't that drunk."

"Good night, Sara."

"Night, Conn." She hung up the phone with a smile still on her face. It felt good to laugh with him over stupid things. And it felt good to know that she was going to be able to do that for a long time to come.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The knock on the door nearly an hour after Connor got off of the phone with Sara made them all sit up in surprise. Murphy exchanged a quick glance with his brother as they both stood up.

"Maybe it's Sara."

"Fuck, Murph, she said she wouldn't be here till mornin'."

"Check the fuckin' peephole, Connor." Da warned, still reclined in his chair. He seemed relaxed, but Murphy noticed that his hands gripped the arms of the chair. They had all been nearly asleep already.

Connor ducked to look out of the peephole. He paused for a moment before moving to open the door quickly. "It's Doc!"

"What the fuck?" Murphy walked over as Connor opened the door all the way. An agitated looking Doc raised his eyes to the both of them without a word. Murphy felt the tension in the pit of his stomach grow.

"Ye okay, Doc?"

"I'm f-f-fuckin' f-fine." He moved past them, into the apartment, his eyes on Da. "Except I've lost e-e-ever thin'. FUCK! ASS!"

Connor glanced at him wide eyed and they both moved forward.

"What do ye mean ye've lost ever thin', Doc?" Da put the footstool down on the chair and motioned for his friend to sit down. Shaking his head, Doc clutched his hands together and paced forward a little.

"The fuckin' b-b-b-boy t-took it'all. The b-bar's smashed up and all o' me m-money's g-g-gone. I'm f-f-fuckin' f-finished." He turned to face them all again and Murphy was surprised to see the beginnings of tears in the old man's eyes. "He was in-involved, wasn't he? H-h-he helped t-ta kidnap yer girls, d-d-d-didn't he?"

Connor put his hand on Doc's shoulder, squeezing lightly. "We've got a fuckin' lot ta tell ye, Doc. Ye better sit down."

"N-no, j-j-j-ust fuckin' tell me." He pulled away, crossing his arms over his chest.

Da leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "No, ye better have a seat. We've got a lot ta discuss tonight."

Murphy watched as they both stared at each other for a long moment and finally let out his breath as Doc nodded slowly and sat down. Connor took the other chair and Murphy sat back down on his end of the couch. They were all quiet for a moment as Da lit a cigar. He took a quick puff from it before raising his eyes back to Doc.

"First, did ye know?"

Doc met his gaze straight on, and shook his head slowly. "I had n-no fuckin' idea. If I'd kn-kn-know, I'd've k-killed the f-fucker meself."

Da nodded slowly and Murphy could feel some of the tension in the room dissipate. "We've got a lot ta discuss, than. Ye don't know the half o' it, Doc."

Connor handed a cigarette into Murphy's range of view and they both shared a long look. It'd been a long time since they'd seen Da that intense, that serious. And as with the last time, they knew they were in for a long discussion. But it was one they knew was necessary.

And Murphy knew that that while they might share their information and learn some new things from Doc, there were still going to be questions to be answered. Where was Tommy? And what were they going to need to do to find him?

Because he knew that while the Saints were dead, some business needed to be taken care of before they could rest peacefully.


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: Plans changed...I realized my plan made no sense. The chapter is half written and I will get time now on Sunday to finish it and be able to post as normal on Monday. I think I was crazy to try to get one done this week... And since this story keeps going...and going...I think I'm going to try to start making the chapters longer again. The official plan for this story is that it 'could' be done by Chapter 50. And while I like a nice round number like that, I do feel like that will be rushing it a little bit. However, I can say that this story will not go beyond Chapter 55. The end is in sight...which means I can start working on the sequel soon. :)** **Thank you Anasazi Darkmoon...you are now my official betawench!**

The McManus apartment was quiet the next morning when Sara used the extra key to let herself in. Soft snoring came from the direction of the couch and she started when she saw Doc stretched out, his glasses crooked on his face.

Bottles and plates littered the tables and the floor of the living room, leaving only a small patch in the corner untouched and she couldn't help but smile though her sigh. Christ, had they gotten that drunk? Or were they just naturally that messy? What the hell was she getting herself into? The apartment looked almost as bad as the Shafer's house after Peter's last kegger.

Shaking her head, she deposited her grocery bags on the counter and turned to face the mess again. She grinned, pulling the bag out of the trash can and started picking it all up. It took her ten minutes and two garbage bags, but she managed to get the rooms reasonably clean without too much of an effort.

Doc had rolled over as she'd knocked over a bottle near the couch but he'd stayed asleep, the glasses falling completely off of his face and bouncing onto the carpet. Picking them up, she folded them carefully and set them onto the coffee table in front of him.

Her mind wandered as she worked hopping from one happy image to another. Katie was coming home, the Saints were dead and Sara was just beginning to realize what this all meant. They were free. She may not have been around for all of the drama, but she understood completely the fear that had gripped them all for the past couple of weeks. If the Yakavettas and the Fertittas thought the Saints were dead, there was no more reason to worry. It was over.

She realized she was humming softly as she finished unloading the bags of groceries on the counter. A chuckle came from behind her and she spun around to find a blurry eyed Murphy leaning against the kitchen wall. "Do I know that song?"

"I don't even know that song." She grinned at him, trying not to be embarrassed at being caught. "Good morning, Murphy."

"Mornin'. What are ye doin' here this early?" He yawned and blinked slowly.

"I didn't wake you, did I?"

Shaking his head, he moved past her to grab a coffee mug and poured himself a cup of the coffee she'd made. "Nope. Was already awake."

"You look like it." Sara couldn't help but grin as he just looked at her. Apparently Murphy wasn't as much of a morning person as Connor was. Slouching into one of the chairs at the table, he took a long drink.

"Couldn't get back ta sleep. Something fuckin' woke me up again, but I don't remember was it was."

"Nightmares?" Grabbing a mug of coffee for herself, she moved to sit across from him. He gave her a small smile as she rested her arms on the table and waited for his answer.

"That was earlier in the night. I don't know what this was."

"Katie?"

He took another long drink before nodding. "Maybe."

"You'll feel better once she gets home today, Murph. Fuck, we all will."

"Aye, possibly." His eyes stayed focused on his mug before he smiled and looked up at her again. "So what is this about a surprise party?"

"Actually, it kinda grew since I talked to Conn. I couldn't sleep either." She grinned as he nodded in understanding. Sara got to her feet, leaving her mug on the table and moved to the groceries on the counter. "First, I figured I'd make breakfast. Then, since Katie's going to be released between eleven and noonish, we can make a big lunch for everybody and then see what goes from there. Depending on how she feels, we can stick around here or go to McGinty's…"

"Not McGinty's." Murphy pressed his lips together and glanced over at the still sleeping Doc.

"Why not?"

"Sounds like Tommy fuckin' trashed the place. It won't be open for a little while, if ever."

Sara found herself following Murphy's gaze at Doc and she felt a twist of guilt in her gut. If things hadn't gone like they had with Tommy, maybe he wouldn't have taken it out on Doc's bar. "Fuck, poor Doc. How's he taking it?"

He shrugged. "The bar was his fuckin' baby. How would ye be takin' it?"

"I'd go bitch about it to my family. Shed a few tears, plot some revenge and then plan to move on."

"Yeah, well. We made it ta step two with 'im last night."

Busying herself with opening up the pancake mix, Sara ignored the further twisting of her insides and tried to push back the feeling of dread. She found a bowl that passed as large enough to mix the batter and set it on the counter. "So I guess Tommy's ears should've been really burning last night."

"I'm sure they were. Ye want some help?"

Forcing a smile, she glanced at him and shook her head. "I've heard about your cooking skills. And if you are anywhere near as bad as Conn is…"

"As bad as I am at what?" His voice was gravelly but Connor gave her a tired grin as she turned to face him.

"At cooking. Now be a good boy and sit at the table with your brother." She pointed toward the table with her spoon before moving back to her batter mixing. Arms came around her from behind, warming her and she fought the melting sensation as she leaned back against him.

"Ye don't look like me Ma, Sara. So I'm not about ta listen." His lips met her temple softly and she turned to face him, grinning.

"If you want breakfast, you will." Putting her arms around his neck, she pressed her lips to his for a long, soft kiss before he rested her forehead against hers.

"I could get used ta wakin' to ye makin' me breakfast. But o' course in that vision, Murph's not sittin' at the table watchin' us."

She heard Murphy clear his throat and without opening her eyes to glance at him, she knew his eyes were anywhere else but on them. "I'm not fuckin' watchin'."

With another quick kiss, Connor let her go, giving her a wink as he reached above her to grab a mug. "Mornin', love."

"Good morning, Connor." Sara grinned and crossed her arms over her chest as she watched Murphy just shake his head and sigh.

"The two o' ye are enough ta make a man sick." She saw the smile in his eyes about two full seconds before he gave into it.

"And you and yer Katie are much better?" Connor hooked his elbow over the back of the chair and sat back so that he was facing the both of them. Murphy just made a face. "Me point exactly. Ye can get us back when she gets home."

"Like she'd go for it." He grinned back at Connor. "She's embarrassed enough that ye know anything. Much less fuckin' see anything."

"And that's Katie for you." Sara finished mixing the batter and moved it over to the stove. "She's never been one for PDA. One of her many quirks that I don't understand.

Murphy chuckled and his eyes crinkled as he shook his head at her. "Exhibitionist."

"Voyeur." She replied and heard the approval in his laughter. Getting comfortable with Connor's brother wasn't nearly as tough as she thought it'd be. Which was, of course, just another plus to the fact that there was a future now to be had with them. She'd never met Greg's family, so it made her feel ten times better to get to know Connor's. Better and more permanent.

"Uh, Sara, who cleaned everythin' up?" Connor spoke up, breaking through the comfortable silence after a few minutes.

"Who do you think? I could hardly move in here. Besides, I figured the three of you would be too hung-over to help me much."

"Ye could've left it for us."

She glanced over after pouring the first few pancakes on the griddle and grinned. "Oh, don't worry. I'm sure I can still find plenty to leave for you."

"Sara, ye do realize that Katie has seen our apartment as it is, right?" Murphy raised an eyebrow at her and she gave him a long look in response.

"And you realize that she's not going to be up to her usual daily cleaning like before, right?"

"Katie never cleaned the apartment."

Sara moved her gaze to Connor and just shook her head with a grin. "You three never realized it, did you? Didn't you notice a difference in your apartment after you brought Katie home?"

Holding back a laugh, she watched as the two brothers exchanged confused looks.

"In the quality of cookin', yes. But not really in the cleanin' part." Connor dug into the coat on the back of his chair for his cigarettes. Murphy slid him the lighter and after taking a long drag, Connor slid it back to him along with the cigarettes.

"Well, I guarantee you that she did. When Katie needs to think, she cleans. We always had the cleanest dorm room around finals week. I even caught her doing it at my apartment while you guys were in New York. Trust me, there's a difference."

"So, we'll just make sure she doesn't need ta fuckin' think."

Connor laughed. "That's the way ta do it, Murph. Good fuckin' answer." They shared a grin and Sara just rolled her eyes. She turned back to the stove and flipped the pancakes.

"So who all is invited ta this get together?" Murphy's question made her turn around again and she shrugged.

"Mostly, everyone who is already here, plus a few more."

Connor glanced at Murphy. "Don't ye like that? She's havin' a party at _our_ apartment. Glad ta make the guest list, _Rosie._"

"Like I could count on the two of you to do it."

Murphy cut off Connor's reply. "So, who are these few more people?"

"Peter, Katie of course. Doc's already here. Smecker."

"Smecker?"

"Don't start that, Murph. The man made a fuckin' mistake. He's got a right ta be here, too." Rolling the cigarette between his fingers, he gave Murphy a long look. Sara could feel the tension from where she stood.

"You two ready for some breakfast finally?" She broke in and felt a little better when they both turned to look at her.

"Aye, 'bout fuckin' time there, Sara. We've been starvin' here." Murphy's smile seemed a little forced but he playfully nudged her as he moved to the fridge. "Conn, ye want milk?"

"Well, beer doesn't go too well with pancakes."

"Good point." Depositing the butter, syrup and milk on the table, he took his seat again. "We're ready ta be served, pancake wench."

"Hey now." Connor stood up to take the plates from her and he shot her a grin. "I'm the only one who gets ta call her that."

"Wow, a whole new name. Just for making breakfast."

"Well, that's that thing about us McManuses, Sara." Murphy kept his eyes on his pancakes as he poured the syrup. "We like ta make everyone feel fuckin' at home."

She just shook her head with a smile and leaned back in her chair. The boys kept the conversation going, teasing each other back and forth and she noticed a distinct difference in their behavior. They were more relaxed. Almost as if they were more innocent again. Almost if as they were finally free.

* * *

Katie was surprised at the nerves she felt as she slowly climbed the staircase in their apartment building. Peter's hand was on her back and he shared yet another smile with her. 

The hospital had let her go early, at eleven on the dot because they felt she was more than ready to leave. Her brother had stayed with her all morning, entertaining her and keeping her mind off of watching the clock. But the minutes had ticked by slowly still and she'd expected all of the tension that had built to release as she walked out of the hospital.

But it didn't and she was beginning to realize that it had built not because she was leaving but because she was seeing Murphy soon. And it was because of that that she convinced Peter to fill her prescription at the nearest pharmacy and to take her straight to the apartment from there.

She was in the final stretch as she rounded the corner but stopped short as she saw Smecker pacing back and forth in front of their apartment door. His eyes rose at the movement and he froze as he stared at her. "Katie. You're home."

"Paul." She found herself grinning as she moved forward. "It's so good to see you." Moving carefully, she put her arms around him. After a long moment, his arms wrapped around her, too.

"It's good to see you, too. How are you feeling?"

She looked up at him, hearing the relief in his voice. "I'm fine. I'm glad you are here."

Stepping back, he ran his hand over his hair, his eyes on the door. "I almost didn't come. But it didn't feel right not to."

"I'm glad you did. You saved them, Paul."

"And put you through hell to do it." There was pain in his eyes as he gazed back down at her, and his hand found its way to her shoulder. "I'm not sure that it was worth that."

Katie shook her head at him, narrowing her eyes. "It was worth whatever it took. No harm, no foul."

"Wish everyone felt that way."

"They will, Smecker." Peter's voice came from a little ways behind them and Katie glanced back. "They'll understand."

"Murph runs on emotions, not logic. And I'm sure Conn has had a chance to beat the logic of the situation into him." She grinned and felt some of the tension slid away as Smecker managed to smile.

"Connor is always good for that role."

"You ready to go in, Paul?" Moving toward the door, she looked back at both him and Peter. He nodded slowly.

"Sure. Lead the way."

Katie raised her hand to knock but grinned at Peter shook her keys into her line of vision. Taking them, she quietly unlocked the door and pushed it open. She couldn't help but grin at what she saw. The apartment was strangely clean, something smelled wonderful and Sara was shaking her butt as she stirred something to the stove. It felt like home.

"Christ, is this was I've been missing?"

Sara jumped at the sound of her voice and she grinned. "You're here. Fuck, you're early even. Must be Peter's influence." Moving over to Katie quickly, she gave her a gentle hug before pulling back to study her face. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." Katie tried not to sigh at the question but Sara laughed in response.

"Already sick of that question, huh?"

"Wouldn't you be?"

"Hey, Peter. Paul, you did come!"

"Sara?" Connor's voice rang in from the hallway. "Where did Da go?" He peeked his head around the corner and his eyes widened as he saw the group of them. Smiling slowly, he walked toward them. "You're early."

His arms went around her tightly and Katie felt him kiss the top of her head. There was emotion in his voice but she could tell he was still smiling. "Glad ye finally got here. Did they let ye out? Or did ye fuckin' break out?"

"Good behavior."

"Now that doesn't seem too fuckin' likely." He brushed his hand over her hair as he looked down at her. She knew that she was being studied again, and it was only the look of concern on his face that kept her from rolling her eyes.

"I'm fine, Connor. Really."

"Ye look fine. And that's a nice fuckin' bruise there." His fingers kept in contact with her as they brush softly over her cheek and she knew it was similar to what Murphy had done. If there was contact, she was really there. She hated the fact that they ever had to assure themselves of that, and she hated the growing lump in her throat almost as much.

"You've got a nice one yourself. Right here." She brushed her finger over his temple. Connor just made a face at her.

"That's just a smudge. Didn't even fuckin' hurt." He grinned as she laughed at him. Tilting his head toward the hallway, he looked at her. "He's in the shower. Go flush the toilet or something."

"Good idea." She squeezed his hand quickly before letting go. Giving Connor a wink, she moved carefully to the hallway. After she rounded the corner, she could hear him talking softly to Smecker. _Good._ Raising her hand, she knocked on the bathroom door. It opened quickly, revealing a steam covered Murphy rubbing a towel over his head.

"Dammit, Conn. I told ye I've got ta get ready. She's gonna be here soon…" His voice trailed off as his eyes finally found hers. Katie felt that familiar kick of emotion as his eyes grew soft. "Katie. Ye're here."

She nodded slowly; a little afraid to speak as she felt the lump in her throat double in size. Seeing him there, at home, doing everyday things made her realize just what she could've missed out on. If something had happened to either of them…

"Here, I've got ta change. Come with me." He hadn't touched her yet, simply opening the door to let her through first. But she noticed the slight trembling of his hands as he pulled his boxers and then his jeans on. He only moved to look at her again once he'd pulled the dark gray shirt over his head.

"Murph, I'm fine. So don't ask."

"I knew not ta." He managed a soft smile and stepped toward her. "Can I…I just…" His words seemed to jumble but she somehow knew what he was after. Stepping forward, she put her arms around him, pressing her face into his chest.

"You won't hurt me, Murph. I promise." At her words, his arms tightened around her and she felt him take a shuddering breath. Moving his head, he pressed his lips to her neck.

"It was almost like I had ta prepare meself for this. And ye showed up early. Ye caught me off guard."

Katie sighed against his chest, raising her head to look up at him. "I got all nervous again. You are the person I am most comfortable around. Why would I be nervous?"

His gaze met hers and they both just stared for a minute. Murphy finally glanced away before his eyes came back. "Somethin's changed. And I think somehow we both know that."

Pressing her face into his shoulder, she nodded. She'd felt a different vibe from him from the moment she'd woken up in the hospital. Something had changed but she figured it was just the emotion of the moment. But she'd felt the same when she'd woken up that morning and that was what had been building all day. But what was it?

"What changed?" She whispered finally.

Keeping a supportive arm on her back, Murphy's hand cupped her face and he brought his lips to hers. His kiss was sweet and gentle and slow as he deepened it, his thumb whispering over her cheek as his fingers got lost in her hair.

Tears burned at the corners of her eyes as he finally pulled away and she buried her face in his shirt. His hand rubbed down her back as he dipped to try to look into her face. "Are ye alright? Did I hurt ye?"

"No, I'm fine." His shirt muffled her voice and she could hear his heart still racing.

"Than why are ye cryin'?" He kept his voice soft and she felt his palm brush against her chin as he raised her face to look at him. His eyes searched hers and she closed her eyes against the rush of emotion.

"Every time you do that, I realize how much I love you." As the words came out, she knew it made sense to her and she knew he understood as she looked back up at him.

"And that, a ghrà, is what has changed. We knew that joy o' it before, but now, we've learned that even love has a fuckin' cost. And we know what's there ta lose." His voice shook a little with the last few words and she saw the emotions battle in his eyes. And she knew they'd both fall apart soon if they didn't do something.

"What does that mean, Murph? You've called me that a few times now."

"Me love." He swallowed hard before giving her a small smile. "It means me love."

"I like it. But now I've got to find something to call you."

His smile was warm as he stared down at her. "Ye'll think o' something, I'm sure."

"I need to learn another language. Even then I'll never catch up to you and Conn. Or Sara even."

"Sara?"

Katie nodded. "She knows three. English, Spanish and Italian."

"Ma can teach ye. She taught the two o' us." Murphy kept his arm around her and he pressed his lips to her forehead. "Let's go out there before someone comes lookin' fer us."

"One more question."

"Yeah?" The corners of his mouth creep up as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"What did you say to me at the hospital yesterday? It was a phrase."

"A phrase?"

"Yeah. You said it right before I fell asleep."

"Don't know." He shrugged, keeping his eyes anywhere else as he opened the door.

"Murphy, you know exactly what I'm talking about. What did you say?" His cheeks had turned a little pink and she realized he was blushing. She'd embarrassed him somehow. Or what he said had embarrassed him. "I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that. Don't worry about it."

His eyes found hers and he chewed on the side of his thumb as he studied her for a moment. Katie smiled slightly and pushed his hand away from his mouth, gripping her fingers around it. He glanced down at their hands and grinned.

His voice was quiet as he answered. "It meant me heart is within ye. Ye seemed so worried I'd leave ye. But it's not possible. Because a big part o' me is right here." He tapped the soft area above her heart, his fingertips brushing gently against her breast.

Fighting the tight feeling in her chest, Katie pressed her lips to his and she felt a flare of passion from his end before he pulled away. His arms surrounded her and he leaned his chin on the top of her head. She could feel the bumps of his rosary beneath the soft fabric of his shirt and she reached up to pull it out, cradling the cross in the palm of her hand.

She could feel his eyes upon her as she traced her fingers over the dark stained wood, circling the metal ring in the center. It was the symbol of Murphy and of the McManuses and of everything that made him who he was. Everything that made her love him. And as she pressed her lips to it, she knew it was the one thing she could always depend on to keep him safe.

His lips brushed hers gently and she found herself looking into the blue depths of his eyes. "Ye think we still need that?"

She could feel his fingers slipping beneath the collar of her shirt, bringing out the silver chain and cross to dangle from his fingertips. His eyes moved with the chain, following the cross back and forth for a moment before he captured it between his thumb and index finger, pressing it to his lips.

"I think it's still worth trying. Hasn't failed us so far." She smiled and he kissed her again.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it?"

"Something like that."

His hand cupped the back of her neck and he leaned his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. She watched as he breathed in deeply before his lips slowly moved into a smile.

A clearing throat cut off any response she had and they both glanced over to find Connor watching them, a small smile on his face. "Are the two o' ye finally ready? We're waitin' on ye."

"Aye, we're ready." Murphy's voice was soft and Katie turned her head back to him. They shared a long look before they both grinned.

"Sneaky bastard." She smiled widely as he burst out into laughter.

"Haven't heard that for awhile."

"How long do you think he was watching?"

"Who knows. Serves 'im right, though."

"What do you mean, Murph?"

"Long story, Katie." He kept his arm around her, squeezing his hand on her shoulder. "I'll tell ye later."

"Preferably much, much later. I'm not sure I want to know right now." They moved into the living room together and Katie watched the large group talking, laughter floating around. Da and Doc had returned and both were seated at the table, smoking cigars and smiling. And she knew as soon as they saw her they'd be coming over to see her, to talk to her, and probably to touch her. To make sure she was there. To make sure she was real.

But this all was real and she realized that that was what made it so great. A little over a month ago, she'd felt more alone than ever before. And it took a good amount of violence, a large share of fear and an even bigger portion of love to make her realize that she was hardly alone. The love she felt for these people was real and it was that that threatened to overwhelm her at the moment. And it was for that that she would deal with the concerned looks and the repeating question as to how she was doing. Because it simply meant that they cared and that she would not be alone again. She would never need to be alone, she knew, with the dysfunctional family of sorts in that room. And if she could help it, none of them would ever be alone again.


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N: Okay, so major, major writer's block! I'm so sorry I haven't gotten anything out here for you all! But I am working through it and the scenes have already started interrupting my work, so hopefully I'll be able to get an extra long chapter out for this monday's deadline to make up for nothing this week! Forgive me soon:) (Hey, at least I didn't do this at a cliffhanger, right:)  
**

It was amazing, Connor realized, the amount of noise a small group of people could make in an enclosed room. Laughter and voices echoed off the walls and he knew the only thing missing was the flowing of alcohol for their apartment to seem an awful lot like McGinty's. Cigarette smoke and cigar smoke swirled in the air, battling with the sound of their voices. And he was surprised that it wasn't too much, but rather just perfect.

The table was built for four, but somehow they'd managed to crunch the six of them around it, knees, elbows and shoulders touching here and there. An overfull table had always made Connor feel happy, at home. Their table back at home in Ireland always seemed to be missing something, as nobody dared to sit in Da's chair even after all his years of being gone. Ma sat on the one end and everyone else got smashed in around the sides. Even with his uncle, aunt, cousins, Murphy and Ma the table always seemed to be missing something with the large gap on the far end.

His eyes reached across the table, meeting Da's gaze and they shared a smile. He knew there was no way that his Da knew what he was thinking, but the same feeling seemed to come from him. Contentment. It was the one thing they'd really been missing in the last year. Being able to be content with the moment, not waiting and wishing for the moments to come. But rather knowing that it may never get better than it was right then.

"You're not eating." Sara's low voice came from his left side and he turned to look down at her. She nodded pointedly at his still partially full plate and he grinned.

"Got distracted. But it is good." Taking a bite of the mashed potatoes, he smiled with puffed out cheeks. She smirked.

"Connor, you're like a frickin' two-year-old over there." Smecker called out from down near the other end of the table.

Murphy's voice was low as he answered with a laugh. "It comes more fuckin' naturally ta him. As is normal with most younger siblin's"

"That hasn't been proven yet, m'boy."

He and Murphy exchanged a surprised glance before turning together to look at Da. "What do ye know, Da?"

"That the two of ye were the ugliest fuckin' babies I'd ever seen. Red, squishy and bawlin' yer fuckin' heads off. But yer Ma said that was normal."

"But Da, what was the hair color of the first born baby?" Sara received surprised looks and she shrugged. "What, you've already asked this?"

"Never fuckin' thought ta ask." Connor grinned. "But-"

"Blonde. Almost a white blonde, really." Da cut him off and smiled slowly before taking a long drink of his beer.

"So it's Connor!" Katie leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table.

All three McManuses shook their heads, Murphy and Connor both grinning. They shared a glance and Murphy sighed.

"We were both fuckin' blonde when we were little. Me hair just got darker faster than Conn's did."

"Real nice one, Da. Sneaky." Connor laughed softly, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair.

"I still like Ma's answer better."

Connor choked on his drink as he glanced at Katie surprised. "What are ye talkin' 'bout?"

"What she answered your question with last time you asked her."

"Murph! Ye told her that?"

He shrugged, holding up his hands. "She weaseled it outta me."

"I hardly weaseled-"

"Wait." Sara held up her hands. "What was the answer?"

Both Connor and Murphy shook their head, chuckling softly. "Nope. Not gonna answer." They said in unison. But Connor noticed then that one by one all eyes turned to Katie, who simply grinned.

"Ma said that the older twin had the bigger….you know."

"The b-b-bigger what?" Doc spoke up finally and Connor could hardly keep back his laugh. He noticed that Murphy's ears were turning a little red and he was surprised at how embarrassed his brother was getting.

"The bigger…penis." Katie ended up gesturing with her hands and Murphy reached out, taking her hands in his and pulling them back underneath the table. She laughed as she got a look at his face and Connor found himself chuckling quietly, earning an annoyed look from his twin.

The table was unnaturally quiet for a moment before Smecker gestured toward her with his beer bottle. "So who is it? Who's older?"

Everyone froze and stared at him before one by one, everyone burst out in laughter, starting with Da. Smecker began to blush noticeably and he tried to backstep with his words. "I…uh, I mean…fuck, you know what I frickin' meant…"

"Give it up, Smecker. You've dug yourself a fucking hole." Peter choked out between laughs. That just caused more laughter around the table.

Katie winced and held her hand up. "Don't make me laugh anymore!"

"Sorry." Peter tried to look guilty but couldn't hold back the grin. Katie fought more laugher and wheezed out a long breath that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle.

Connor kept his eyes on Katie as Smecker continued to try to work himself out of what he'd said. Da teased him softly but he couldn't hear the words from his end of the table. Katie's hand was held tightly over her side, proving to Connor that she was in more pain than she was letting show in her expression.

Murphy's fingers stroked gently down the side of her neck, the movements slow and unnoticeable to anyone not watching. And he saw the effect instantly in Katie as she relaxed back against his brother's arm, her hand sliding away from her side and her smile becoming less pained. He was amazed that with all of the energy his brother seemed to put out that he'd learned to soothe with such a simple movement.

The conversation had turned by the time Connor glanced away and he listened as Smecker and Peter traded cop and FBI stories, Da breaking in with comments here and there. Sara's hand slipped into his under the table and she smiled up at him as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Amazing what a simple touch can do." Her whisper barely reached his ears but he laughed softly as a response.

"Ye saw that too, huh?"

"You missed the first time." Her thumb whispered back and forth across the top of his hand and he squeezed slightly in response. She shifted her head against his shoulder, her eyes back on Peter who was talking.

"Tell him about the first time you pulled over a speeding car, Pete." Sara called out, drawing all eyes toward her. Peter wrinkled his forehead.

"What about it?"

"That one, on the highway. The grandma with no pants?"

Connor could feel her laugh as Peter smiled slowly. Katie chuckled.

"Oh, that one. Fuck, if that wasn't a great first moving violation ticket."

"Share it with the rest of the class, Peter." Smecker teased, taking a drag from the cigarette dangling from his right hand.

Taking a deep breath, Peter leaned back in his chair with a sigh. Connor just smile. As he'd already learned, Katie's brother was hardly a man of few words. And he knew that both girls could coax many more stories out of the man with little trouble.

It was nearly an hour later when Connor started to notice Katie's withdraw, long after the remaining food had gone cold and at least three full conversation changes later. She laughed less and started giving smaller smiles in place of the full grins she'd been beaming with since getting home. And he knew Murphy could sense it too, by the way his arm slid over her shoulder as if to support her; to give her energy to keep going. But after sharing a long look, they both stayed silent, knowing that exposing her weakness would only embarrass her more than anything. Even among them.

And he knew she was truly beyond exhaustion when she struggled to push her chair out a little while later, needing Murphy's help to get to her feet steadily. The table grew silent as she got up and her face turned slightly red as she glanced around.

"Don't mind me."

"Go, lass. Lay down fer a little while. Ye're at least a half hour past tired." Da's smile was fatherly, Connor realized with a little shock. He'd never considered Katie's place in Da's life. Fuck, he'd barely had time to consider his own place or Murphy's place in Da's life. Nothing was ever simple with Da.

"Thanks, Da. Everyone." Nodding, she looked around the table, pausing slightly on Connor with a smile small. "Goodnight, I guess."

"Have a good nap. We'll still be here when you wake up." Sara nodded to her.

Murphy's arm went quickly around her as she stepped away from the table and his other hand gripped her elbow. Neither of them glanced back as they left the room and the rest of them stayed silent after they turned the corner. Sighing inwardly, Connor grinned.

"Ye know she's not really tired, right?" He joked and received a pained look from Peter.

"Christ, McManus. I don't need to hear that about my sister.

* * *

The bed felt softer than ever beneath Katie as she managed to lower herself into a sitting position. Murphy closed the door before moving over to crouch before her. He tucked her hair behind her ear as his eyes studied her face. 

"Ye hurtin' or just tired?"

She winced through a laugh. "You're getting better at this. Straight to the point, multi-option question."

"And yet ye still manage ta avoid the answer."

"Mostly just tired." Pressing down with her hands into the bed, she slid herself backwards. Murphy's hands moved to her, one on her shoulder and the other on her hip, as if to help her.

"I don't know how ye need me ta help here."

"I'm fine, Murph." Katie moved to lean back but squeezed her eyes tightly against the pain. She waited for his frustration to come out in words as she heard him sigh but he said nothing. His hands just moved to her back, his arms ending up crossways as if to support her.

"Relax into me arms."

"What?"

"It hurts ta use yer stomach muscles on that side, right? So if ye just relax, I'll get ye laid down."

Nodding slowly, she took a deep breath and tried to relax. But the pain was throbbing through her side and she shook her head against it. "Not working."

"Just try it. I know it's not easy but lean inta me arms here."

"What do you even know about this, Murph?" She spit the words out and kept her eyes closed against his reaction. He was silent for a moment as his arms adjusted slightly against her back.

"Because I've been shot in the side, too, remember?"

Katie quickly looked up at him but his eyes held no emotion. She'd forgotten about that, when he'd named off how he'd been shot. "Where?"

"Later. Here, just try fallin' back. Ye won't fall, I'll catch ye."

"I know you will." She let out a deep breath and relaxed her body slowly. She was surprised when his arms touched her back and he slowly lowered her to the bed.

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" His words were teasing, but he looked at her carefully before pressing his lips to her forehead. Pulling the blanket from where it was folded at the end of the bed, he covered her up and brushed his hand over her hair. "Now close yer eyes and dream o' me."

Katie grinned. "Ego maniac."

"There ye go again, categorizin' me."

She grabbed Murphy's hand as he stepped away from the bed and pulled him gently toward her. "Stay with me."

"Ye need ta have the space ta stretch out, Katie."

"I sleep on my side. You know that. Stay. Please."

"I'm not goin' too far."

"Please."

His eyes searched her face for a long moment and Katie could have sworn her heart paused for a few beats as she waited for his answer. She didn't know why it was suddenly so important for him to stay, but it was. It felt as if she couldn't stand to be away from him, couldn't be separated from him anymore. And, deep down, she hoped that maybe by sleeping in his arms, everything would be all better.

And when she felt the prickle of tears in her eyes at his nod, she knew she really was tired. His thumb brushed away the tears as they fell and he kissed her gently. "Now ye need ta get some sleep. I'll stay if ye sleep."

"And I'll sleep if you sleep."

He pressed his lips together and raised an eyebrow at her. Katie found herself smiling as he narrowed his eyes. "What do ye mean?"

"Murph, you haven't slept much. I can tell it from a mile away. You need to take this nap as much as I do. So get into bed with me now!"

"Always loved a demandin' woman." He teased, but he still hesitated as he moved to the end of the bed.

"Murph, please." She hadn't done it on purpose, but she knew it was the weariness in her voice that got him to move. Easing himself onto the bed behind her, he kept his movements slow and gentle to keep from jolting her. His breath was warm on the back of her neck as his hand slid up and down her arm in a soothing rhythm.

"Close yer eyes, Katie. Relax." He kept his voice soft and she nodded her head once in response, her eyes already closed. And while she missed the feeling of his arm around her stomach, she fell asleep with a smile on her face as his hand continued to follow its path up and down her arm.

* * *

Twenty minutes after Murphy had disappeared into the bedroom with Katie, Sara found herself wondering why he hadn't come back out again. Peter and Connor were joking back and forth as they helped her clear the table. Doc, Da and Smecker had lit their cigars in the living room, carrying on their own conversation. And as she stood at the sink washing the few remaining dishes, she began to worry. 

Why hadn't he come back out? Was something wrong with Katie? Sara knew it was unnecessary for her to get worried, but with the past few weeks, she'd learned not to completely relax until she was sure it was safe. Until she knew there wasn't something lying around the corner in wait.

She knew her uneasiness must have shown as she felt Connor step up beside her, his eyes focused on her face. "What's wrong?"

Shrugging, she glanced back toward the hallway before rinsing the dish in her hand. "Murphy didn't come back out."

"Aye, he's probably asleep, too."

"You think?"

"Maybe. At least I hope. He fuckin' needs ta sleep. I was hopin' he'd relax once she got home." Connor reached out and took the plate from her, drying it with the towel in his hands. "We can go check though."

She kept silent as she scrubbed the bits off of the last dish, running it under the water again before handing it to him. Crossing her arms over her chest, she leaned against the counter. "Shouldn't we leave 'em alone?"

"Let's just peek in. If it'll make ye feel better."

"Am I paranoid, Conn? For worrying like this?"

"Ye're not yet. But give it time. Ye'll end up paranoid enough if ye stick around." Winking, he took her hand and pulled her away from the sink. Leading her down the hallway, Connor paused before knocking softly on Katie's door. There was no answer. Brining his finger to his lips, he opened the door quietly and they both peeked in.

Both Katie and Murphy were fast asleep on the bed; Katie curled up on the near end on her side and Murphy stretched out beside her on his back. His hand was on her upper arm, his thumb still moving gently across the skin, keeping contact even in sleep.

Sara found herself grinning at Connor as he closed the door. "Okay, now I feel better."

"Aye, so do I."

"You were worried?" She glanced up at him as he put his arm around her. He shrugged, his fingers tapping against her shoulder.

"Not really, but it feels better ta know fer sure." Connor kissed the top of her head as they rounded the corner. And they both stopped as they saw the other four men were on their feet with their coats on.

"Where's yer brother?" Da pulled at his collar, speaking around the cigar at the corner of his mouth.

"Sleepin'."

Nodding quickly, Da shifted his head toward the door. "Peter and Smecker want ta check out McGinty's fer Doc. See what the damage is."

"Let's go then." Sara pressed her lips together and raised an eyebrow as she got several surprised looks. "What?"

"Ye sure ye want ta go back there, lass?"

"You and Connor can wait here, Sara." Smecker added. But she shook her head know and could feel scrutiny coming from Connor as he glanced down at her.

Peter finished buttoning his coat and looked around the room, his eyes narrowing. "What's going on?"

"McGinty's is where we had our run-in with Tommy."

"Run-in?"

"Yeah, run-in. We'll tell ye about it on the way there, Pete." Connor dropped his arm from Sara's shoulders, his voice quiet. Taking her coat, he held it for her to slip into and she could feel the tension building in him as he pulled his own on. His hand slipped into hers as the others led them out the door.

She squeezed his hand as he locked the door from the outside and his eyes met hers. His face held a mixture of concern and anger, and she knew he was trying to gage her emotions. His lips were soft as they met hers and she put her arms around his waist, pulling him closer to her. The hallway grew quiet as the others entered the stairwell, but neither of them paid attention.

"Are ye sure ye want ta go there, Sara?" His question was soft but her eyes opened at the uncertain tone in his voice. And as she stared up at him, she knew he was willing to do anything to protect her from the memories. But the memories were there whether they visited McGinty's or not. She still felt the shaky fear that had swarmed over her as she'd brought the whisky bottle down on Tommy's head. And she could still imagine the sick feeling in her gut as she'd watched the blood mix with the whiskey on the dusty wood floor. There was nothing there that he could protect her from.

So she nodded as an answer, not trusting her voice to agree. And after one last long look, Connor dipped his head in agreement and led her down the hall, into the stairwell so that their silence was overruled by the voices of the others.

* * *

Murphy woke in a slight panic as he felt the twisting in his stomach before he was even fully conscious. It took a long second before he realized what had woken him, as he heard her quiet sobs and realized he could feel her body shake. His heart thumped as he sat up completely and leaned over Katie, his hand back on her arm. 

Her eyes were closed tightly and a thick track of tears ran down both cheeks. The air rushed out of her lungs in shuddering gasps. He realized there was sweat at her hairline as he ran his hand over her hair.

"Katie. Katie! What's wrong?" He kept his voice low so not to startle her and he felt only a slight sense of relief as her eyes opened to look up at him. Licking her lips she tilted her head up at him, another breath rushing out before she spoke.

Her voice was low and pained. "It hurts."

The two words tore at his heart, knowing that he hadn't been able to spare her from this. But he worked to keep it from showing in his face and he kept his voice soft as he whispered back to her. "Let's get ye turned onto yer back here."

Her answer was a short nod and he knew as she squeezed her eyes shut again that that was all he was going to get. Murphy's mind whirled as he tried to think of what to do. And as he rolled her slowly onto her back, he realized that she probably hadn't taken any of her pain medication since leaving the hospital. _Fuck, God knows how many fuckin' hours it been since then._

Brushing her hair back from her face, he forced a smile as she opened her eyes again to look at him. "I know what ye need. Hold on a sec here."

He got up only after she nodded and walked to the door. As soon as the door was closed behind him, Murphy hurried out to the living room where he'd seen Peter stash her bag from the hospital. It only barely occurred to him that the apartment was now empty and he realized he didn't care where everybody else had gone. Nothing else matter right now. Not until Katie was feeling better. Finding the white pharmacy bag, he ripped it open and pulled the bottle out, glancing at it only briefly. Pulling a mug from the cupboard, he filled it with water.

Her breathing seemed less pained as he walked back in, but her hands were still clenched into fists. She met his gaze as the pills rattled in the bottle, one rolling out into his hand. Wordlessly, he handed the pill to her and helped her wash it down with half of the mug of water.

As she leaned back against the bed again, she wiped at her eyes with a sigh. "How could I fucking forget to take that?"

And since he knew the anger in her voice was from the pain, Murphy didn't bother answering her. Instead, he put his hands on either side of her head and began to rub circles on both of her temples.

"What-"

He cut her off by shushing her, all the while continuing to work his fingers in constant circles. It relaxed her slowly, her body losing tension and her tears eventually stopped rolling out. But he still knew when the medication began to work. He could feel her pain leave, somehow and a lump formed in his throat as he realized that this could happen regularly if they weren't careful.

It was when her cool hands covered his own that he finally stopped rubbing the circles. His gaze met hers and he found himself swallowing hard before leaning down to give her a gentle kiss. "Ye feel better?"

Nodding slowly, she sighed. "Except that I feel like an idiot."

"Yer not an idiot, love. Ye're an average post surgery patient. It's hard ta get a fuckin' schedule down when they're monitorin' the meds fer ye."

Her hands squeezed his slightly, and she pressed her lips together as she continued to study his face. "Did you end up in the hospital for yours too?"

His hand found his side in an old habit he thought he'd long gotten rid of and he dipped his head in response. "Aye and we nearly got fuckin' caught for it."

"What happened?"

"Let's just say that yers'll heal better than mine did." One corner of his mouth quirked in a half smile as he reached for her medicine bottle again. The words blurred in front of his eyes as they sat there in silence. He knew he should tell her eventually, but the memories and the pain had been buried so deep. Would it do her any good to know the misery he'd been through and Connor had been put through during those two months it took his side to heal completely? Shaking his head against it all, he focused again on the bottle. "It says here ye've got ta take this every four ta six hours. Remember that. If we get ye takin' it on schedule, hopefully ye won't have ta go through this again."

"I'd prefer that." Her smile didn't quite reach her eyes as she continued to look up at him. And Murphy wondered if that was because of the pain or because of his lack of real response.

"The apartment's empty. Wanna go watch TV?"

"Sure." She grinned fully. He put his hand on her shoulder before she could move too far.

"Let's try somethin' new. Here, shift so that yer feet are on the floor." He put his hands on her hips to help her slide forward. "Okay, now take me hands and let me pull ye up."

Slipping her hands into his, she raised an eyebrow. "Where did you get this idea from?"

"Conn and I figured it out."

"Oh." She pressed her lips together.

Murphy brushed his thumbs over the tops of her hands before he shifted his grip. "Are ye ready?" At her nod, he pulled her up, steadying her as she wavered on her feet. Smiling, she looked up at him.

"It actually worked."

"Of course. Ye think I'd steer ye wrong, Katie?" Winking, he put his arm around her and guided her toward the door.

"Dare I answer that question, Murph?" Her laughter made him finally feel whole again. She was back, he knew and he couldn't hide his grin as they moved to the living room.

It was nearly several hours later and halfway through some girly movie Katie had chosen when the front door opened again and one by one Connor, Da, and Sara poured in. Her head was on the blanket in his lap and neither of them moved too far as they looked toward the door. The mood was strangely muted among the group, Murphy realized and he quickly focused on his brother, his hand stilling on Katie's arm.

Connor rubbed his hand over the back of his head, and his eyes finally met his gaze. Something had happened. Something big. Connor nodded slowly and nudged Da closer with him.

"Ma called. Uncle Sibeal's in the hospital. He had a heart attack."

"Christ. Is he alright?" Murphy felt his heart skip up a few beats. Katie's head left his lap and she sat up without his help, her hand ending up on his shoulder. She squeezed slightly, glancing back and forth between him and Connor.

"He's fine fer now, it seems. But she still wants us home, m'boy." Da's voice was rough and his eyes were on the ground. "I'm leavin' tonight but the two o' ye are followin' tomorrow."

Swallowing his need for more explanation, Murphy simply nodded, knowing that Da needed to be left alone for now. And they all stayed silent as Da glanced around only slightly before leaving the room. A bedroom door shut quietly and Connor sat down in the chair next to him with a sigh.

"He's been like that since the fuckin' call." Connor rubbed his hands over his face, his voice muffled. Sara moved forward and put her hand on his shoulder, sitting on the arm of his chair. The only sign that his brother was seeking comfort in her came as he laid his hand on her knee, his thumb moving back and forth.

"So we'll fuckin' go then. We said we'd drop everythin' and leave if we were ever needed at home. We promised Ma that." He kept his words casual, but he was losing the battle against the heavy feeling in his chest. Did that mean he'd have to leave Katie?

"I know." His twin's eyes were on the floor and Murphy understood his misery. They both hated being unable to help. And it only made it worse to be that far away.

Katie's hand rubbed down his back and he glanced over at her. She made him feel better. Just knowing that she was there, made him feel better. And as he studied her face, he realized that there was still something he could do. Da had opened up to him a little. Had finally let him in after their year of all being together.

Leaning over, he gave Katie a quick kiss, smiling slightly at her look of surprise. "I'll be back." He got to his feet and left the room. Da had talked to him about Uncle Sibeal before. So maybe he could figure out what could help Da now.

* * *

As Murphy left the room, Katie saw Sara lean down and whisper into Connor's ear. He smiled slightly and nodded, standing up with her. 

Sara glanced at her. "I'm heading home quick to grab a few things. But I'll be back later."

"Okay." Katie nodded, unsure of what else to say. It occurred to her that there was something going on that she didn't understand as the two of them whispered softly near the door, but she didn't care enough to push.

Their uncle was in the hospital and they were leaving. Murphy was leaving. She realized she wanted to cry but knew it wasn't the time or the place. They needed to go. And she wasn't allowed to want them to stay. That would be selfish. Her stomach clenched at the thought of it and she turned her eyes back to the TV.

The door shut quietly and she glanced up to see that both Connor and Sara were now gone. And as she stared at the door, all remains of her contentment about coming home disappeared. Were the McManuses ever going to catch a break? They'd just gotten their lives back. And now this. That fact that their uncle was fine right now didn't make her feel any better. She'd seen the worry in their faces.

The sound of canned laughter filled the room a little while later and she glanced up as the door opened again. Connor pressed it shut, leaning his hand against it for a moment, a smile still on his face. He finally turned to face Katie, leaning against the wall.

"She's got a way o' makin' me feel better."

"How's that?" Katie worked to keep her voice casual, feeling more confused than anything about the change in his mood.

"She just reminded me that everthin' happens for a reason. And that Ma did say Uncle Sibeal was okay."

"Then why does she want you home, Conn?"

His eyes found hers and his smile faded slightly. "Because. It's long past fuckin' time we get home."

"That's what I was thinkin', m'boy." Da's voice came from beside her and he smiled down at her as he set his duffle bag by the chair. "If we were waitin' for a sign, I'd say this is fuckin' it." He disappeared around the short wall of the kitchen and Katie heard the fridge open. And Katie knew the moment of seriousness was past as Connor grinned.

"Guess we needed an obvious fuckin' sign then." Connor moved to the couch and took Murphy's spot next to Katie. He smiled down at her. "How ye feelin'?"

"I'm feeling that if one more person asks me that, I'm going to be kicking some ass." She kept her words teasing.

He chuckled, stretching his legs out to put up on the coffee table. Relaxing fully beside her, he stretched his arm over the back of the couch behind her. "So, how ye doin'?"

Smacking him in the chest, she leaned back fully, her head resting against his arm. "So, you're going home."

"Don't sound too disappointed, lass. Ye'll be goin' with us." Da told her from the kitchen. He walked out with three beers and a Pepsi, setting the beers on the table. He handed her the can with a wink.

She stared up at him, surprised. "I am?"

"Aye. Ye don't think Murph would've agreed ta leave ye, do ye?" Connor pulled her to lean against him, rubbing his palm over her hair. "Ye're our fuckin' bargainin' chip."

"I knew I'd be worth something some day." She grinned and opened her Pepsi. The tight feeling in her chest left her as she took a long drink. "Am I a red, blue or white chip?"

"Don't know. What's the fuckin' difference?"

"Eh, don't know. Doesn't matter. I'm going to Ireland!"

"And ye get ta meet Ma."

"And I get to meet Ma! Wait, is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

Connor laughed again. "It's a fuckin' good thing. Ye've already fuckin' won 'er over. Ye're pratically a fuckin' McManus now." He squeezed his hand on her shoulder.

"Get yer fuckin' hands off me girl." Murphy teased as he walked back in the room with a raised eyebrow. "She's not fuckin' Jenny O'Reilly."

"Hey, approval is still fuckin' pendin' here. And I'm afraid it's a bit o' a hands-off process. Ye don't mind, do ye Katie?"

She grinned widely, winking at Connor. "Of course not."

Murphy just shook his head in response. "We don't fuckin' share everything."

"Now that's an interestin' idea, Murph. Sharin' everything. Ye can have me Sara part-time if I get yer Katie part-time."

"No deal." He looked to Da instead who simply shrugged. "What time is it anyhow?"

"Nearly eight, why?"

Murphy glanced at Katie before leaving the room. He came back with her pill bottle and sat across from her on the coffee table, opening the bottle.

"Christ, Nightingale." She raised an eyebrow at him as he held a pill out in his hand.

"Take it, Katie. Ye don't want ta go through that again, do ye?"

The pain was a hazy memory but it was enough to make her shake her head in response. She hated feeling that way. Almost as much as she hated seeing the emotion in Murphy's eyes as she felt that way.

"Problems already?" Connor glanced down at Katie who shrugged. "Take yer medicine or deal with me. And Murph. And Da."

"And Sara. And Peter." Murphy smiled slowly at her.

"Like those two scare me." She made a face at him and moved to slowly lean forward. Murphy saw that she was moving slow and slid forward further, his legs sliding on either side of hers. He put his hand on her knee as she took the pill.

"Thank ye."

"No prob, doc."

"Good to know that we are still indimidatin' enough ta get the lass ta take her pills." Da chuckled softly. "And here I was thinkin' we'd lost our fuckin' touch."

"So, now that I've been proper medicated, will someone fill me in on the details?"

"Katie, ye're never properly medicated." Connor grinned down at her and leaned away as she tried to smack him. Murphy sat down on the other side of her, sitting sideways to face her.

"From what I understand, Smecker is comin' ta get Da in a little while. And he'll give us our tickets then." Murphy took her hand and she couldn't help but notice the sparkle in his eyes. "And then, I get ta take ye home with me."

"Sara's goin' ta go, too." Connor's voice was softer but he just smiled as she glanced over at him.

"Good. I promised her I wouldn't take my first trip to Ireland without her."

Murphy laughed. "Ye did? When did ye promise her that?"

"About four years ago. Funny how things work out."

"Ye could say that again, lass." Da sat back in his chair and lit a cigar. The smell reached her and she smiled. It was a smell she knew she'd forever associate with home. With their home.

Murphy shifted beside her, leaning against the back of the couch and knocking Connor's arm off of her shoulder. "Go get yer own girl."

"She's comin' back soon."

"Oh yeah, so's Peter. He wanted ta come back ta see ye before tomorrow." Reaching over, Murphy picked up the remote and started switching through the channels.

"And maybe we should warn ye lass, yer brother knows about what happened at McGinty's."

"Fuck, how?" She crossed her arms over her chest, sighing. That was the last thing she needed, to explain what happened to yet another concerned male.

Connor took a long drink of his beer while Da just stayed silent. "That's where we went. Smecker wanted to check the place out and Sara was with us."

"How'd she do there?"

"Fine." He smiled slowly. "She's got even more grit than I thought she did."

"And how did Peter react?"

Da and Connor shared a glance. Leaning forward, Da rested his hands on his knees. "He got real quiet and then he left, m'dear. But he said he'd be back tonight ta talk ta ye."

"Splendid."

"Ye know he'll feel better once he talks ta ye, Katie." Murphy spoke up from beside her and she glanced over at him. His eyes held her gaze for a moment before he nodded. "Ye know it's true. Christ, Katie. He doesn't even know ye've used a gun yet."

She realized he was right and knew that would be at the top of the worries for Peter. He's always been bothered most of all by her fear but had never tried to push her to facing it. Brett had many failed attempts, but Peter never even hinted that she should. And she knew it was because he was afraid of what would happen if she did. _And now he has no idea how I'm dealing with it…_ Sighing, she nodded finally.

And as she relaxed back against Murphy again, she found that she was having trouble following their conversations. Her mind kept returning to Peter. Peter who'd sold his beloved BB gun after their parents' deaths, just so that it wasn't in the house with her. And Peter who walked all the way home from the gun range with her when Brett refused to take her home until she'd at least held a gun. Peter who would, even now, tiptoe around the issue when he came back to the apartment.

And despite the fact that she knew they needed to talk about it, after he came back to the apartment hours later, it was Katie who avoided the subject. And it was Peter who let her. Da had left with Smecker soon after and Sara showed up after that. The five of them bonded over some raunchy late night comedy and after, it was Connor and Murphy who convinced Peter to stay on the couch for the night. And it was Katie he looked to for approval. Peter smiled at her as she pretended to debate over it but still gave her a gentle hug before saying goodnight. And as she left the room with Murphy, she knew that they'd only managed to avoid the conversation, putting it off until something else forced them to discuss it.

* * *

"Murph, stay with me." Katie's voice was soft as she looked up at him from the end of the bed. She'd changed into one of his longer t-shirts with his help and Murphy now found himself pausing at the sight she made. Even with the yellowed bruise dusting one cheek and especially because of the annoyed smirk on her face because he only continued to stare at her. "Murph." 

"I'm stayin' with ye. I'm just sleepin' in the recliner. That's why Conn and I brought it in here."

"You can't sleepin in the freaking recliner, Murph. Sleep with _me_." She grinned at him. "You know you want to."

Murphy sat next to her on the bed and found himself smiling as she leaned her head against his shoulder. Putting his arm around her, he glanced down at her. "What I want ta do and what I can do are two fuckin' different things, Katie. Ye need ta get some sleep. And ye need the space ta stretch out."

She sighed. "Didn't we already go through this once?"

"Aye, I thought we did too. And I'm not about ta take the chance of ye wakin' up like that again." He fought to keep the frustration out of his voice, hoping that she'd just see his point and give in. But things were never that simple with Katie.

"That was from not taking my pain meds. And I just took one."

"But ye felt better once we got ye layin' on your back. Once ye heal a bit more, we can share a bed again."

"Fine." She spoke softly and he missed the warmth in her voice instantly. Her head left his shoulder and she managed to get herself halfway into the bed before he could move to help her.

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face before helping her lay down onto the mattress. "Katie."

"It's okay, Murph. What's you're saying makes sense."

"Then why are ye upset about it?"

"I'm not." She pulled the blankets up before settling her arms over her chest. It was only then that her gaze moved to meet his and Murphy saw her eyes were guarded.

"Katie."

"I'm not. I just…Christ, I hate feeling this way."

He moved to sit beside her, taking her hands in his. "What way?"

Squeezing her eyes shut, she sighed out her frustration. "Like a fucking girl."

"Ye are a girl, Katie."

"You know what I mean."

"It's okay ta be scared Katie. But I'm not goin' ta let anything happen ta ye." He kept his tone casual but she simply pressed her lips together as a response.

She hated feeling weak, feeling vulnerable and that was a part of her that he loved. It was that part of her that got her to go with them that first day to the meat packing plant. And that part of her that forced her to return to the warehouse where she'd been held for weeks just to save them. It was a part of her he hoped to see much less of in the time to come.

Sighing, Murphy pulled the blankets back from her and held back a chuckle at her surprised look. Putting his arms beneath her back and legs, he helped her shift closer to the wall so that he could crawl in beside her. Her smile was soft as she stared at him.

"So you'll sleep with me."

"No, but I'll stay here until ye fall asleep. And then I'll move a whole two feet away." His hand patted the leather arm of the recliner and he grinned down at her. Lying on his side, he slipped one arm beneath her neck and rested his other hand on the right side of her stomach. His fingers brushed the bandage beneath the thin cloth of his t-shirt but he ignored the twisting in his gut.

"Thanks, Murph."

"No problem, a ghrà. Now close yer eyes." He waited for her to follow his directions but she just made a face instead. The corners of her mouth slowly turned up as she stared at him. "What?"

"Well, two days ago, I was shot. The mafia is still out there. And my boyfriend is…or well, was wanted by the police. And the boogeyman might just be hiding in the closet. And yet, somehow, I've never been happier." She smiled slowly at him, her eyes sparkling in the dark. Murphy felt that same kick of happiness in his chest that he'd felt that day at the diner. The day he'd fallen in love with her without even realizing it.

"Sounds like a regular fairy tale." Raising his hand to her hair, he rubbed his thumb over her cheek.

"You don't quite fit the Prince Charming role. But I think you'll do." Her voice had gotten soft and Murphy watched as she closed her eyes slowly before opening them again. Sleep was beginning to overcome her already and that told him just how well she'd managed to hide her exhaustion again.

"I'm glad ye think so. I'm afraid what ye'd do ta me otherwise, Princess."

Her eyes were on his again and she smirked. "I'd probably keep you around for entertainment at least."

"Well, of course. That's my fuckin' purpose in life."

"It's good to have a purpose in life." She whispered back and her eyes stayed closed this time. Her breathing evened out soon after and he eased his arms away from her, sliding off of the bed. Even if she wanted him to sleep there, he knew it wasn't a good idea. And causing her pain would be far worse than disappointing her.

His mind turned back to the last words she said before drifting off and as he settled into the recliner, he couldn't help but wonder what his purpose really was in life. Had he been meant to be a Saint? And did that mean that now that that was done, his purposeful life was over? Was it possible to peak at the ripe old age of 28? As long as he had Katie in his life, did he even care?


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: updated 10/16/06 - And another reason to possibly hate me, there is no chapter done for today. I'm nearing completetion, so it should be done in the next few days - I actually mean that this time! Check out the other stories around here while you wait and I'll have a proper introduction of Ma to the girls ready here in just a little bit. :)  
**

It was early the next morning when Katie woke up again. The sunlit filtered through the window, splashing over the bed and reaching up to warm the back of her head. The dull, steady ache made her realize that she wasn't just dreaming of the peaceful moment. It was there.

Murphy was sleeping lopsided in the old chair, his pillow curled over his arm and his feet peeking out from underneath the blanket. Shifting under her own blankets, Katie smiled and felt the warmth spread throughout her body. Now that was an image she could wake up to forever.

Stretching a little, she felt the pulling again at her side and knew she needed to take her medication soon. And that meant getting up to do so. She rejected the idea of waking Murphy instantly, knowing that he would just get that concerned look on his face. And she was tired of seeing that look. If it meant she needed to tough it out to keep him from getting worried, she'd do it. Murphy didn't need to know about every ache and pain.

She managed to slide out of the bed slowly, using her arms to push herself up to her knees and then standing up out of the bed. It turned out to be much easier than she thought it would be and only held her hand against the pain for a moment until it began to ease. She pulled on a pair of her pajama pants, rolling the waist to keep them from covering the bandage. Palming the pill bottle from the nightstand, Katie quietly slipped from the room, shutting the door behind her.

Quiet snoring came from the couch and she didn't need to look to know it was Peter. Grinning, she had to work to keep from rubbing her hand over his tousled bed hair, the blonde curls flattened in some areas and sticking straight up in others. It wasn't hard to picture him much younger again, his cheeks red and his eyes blurry with sleep as he crawled in to share her bed during some cold winter night. Their mom had called them snuggle bunnies and teased them about never worrying when finding an empty bed, knowing that one was always with the other.

The pain in her side had numbed by the time the coffee had brewed and Katie sat in the silence of the kitchen, her bare feet cold against the tile. She was awake now, and restless. It would be much easier if someone else was awake, to talk to, to keep her company; but she knew with that would come the concerned glances and the overwhelming offerings of help. Christ, she'd been home not even a day and she was already being sick of being treated like an invalid.

She felt the need to do something, to be productive and Katie grinned as she realized the answer. Pancakes. She could make everybody some pancakes. Even if someone woke before they were ready, she could let them take over and still know that she'd done something helpful. Setting her mug down on the counter, she reached up to pull the mix from the cupboard, careful to not pull at her side.

The batter was mixed and she was just about to look for the pan when a hand warmed her shoulder. "Little early to be doing that, don't you think?" Peter's voice was soft and she was surprised to hear the lack of anger. Shrugging, she turned to face him.

"You're up. The others will follow just in time for the pancakes to be done."

"No, I meant that it's a little early for you to be doing this shit, Katie."

Making a face, she took another drink of her coffee. "Peter, don't start that already."

He took the batter from her hands without another word, turning to the stove and flipping the knob to turn the burner on. "How are your stitches?"

"Don't know; we haven't learned to communicate well enough yet. Language barrier."

Glancing back, he raised an eyebrow at her. "Does your bandage need changed?"

"Christ, can't we talk about something else? I think enough about this already. I don't need conversation to revolve around it."

Peter pulled the skillet from the lower cabinet and set it on the burner before turning fully toward her again. He reached out his hand but paused in the moment. "Can I just take a quick look at it? See if it needs changed and then I'll drop it. I swear."

"What do you know about bandage changing?"

"Katie, I'm a cop. I know everything."

"You're a detective. You know nothing." She kept her words teasing, feeling the frustration come from him in waves. And she was reminded by just how much her brother was like Murphy. Especially in the way that they felt everything. And that was why she just sighed as he raised the oversize t-shirt to see it, biting back any retort that came to mind.

"Change it before you go and you'll probably be fine." He spoke up finally. Then he surprised her by kissing her on the top of the head before facing the stove again.

She felt the warmth of his body as she stepped forward and leaned against him, putting her arm around his waist. His hand squeezed her shoulder, resting there as he sprayed the bottom of the skillet.

"Any chance you'll let me take over before you screw this up?" Katie grinned up at him as he gave her a mock glare.

"I know how to do this."

"Only because I taught you. And I still have my doubts."

"Then I'll just need to prove you wrong." He squeezed his hand again and nodded toward the table. "Now go take a seat and let me work on my masterpiece."

"Remember: don't flip the damn things until all of the bubbles have popped."

Pointing at the table with the spatula, he raised an eyebrow. "Sit. Or I'll call McManus out here."

Katie grinned and crossed her arms over her chest. "Which one?"

"After what I saw yesterday, I'd say either would work."

"Good point." She moved to the table without another protest, easing herself into a chair and knowing that Peter was watching her from the corner of his eye. They were both quiet, the sound of sizzling batter filling the room instead and Katie finished her coffee as she watched.

He flipped the pancakes before speaking again. His words were soft and his eyes stayed on the skillet. "I heard about what happened with that Tommy guy."

She nodded, swallowing a sigh and concentrating on Peter to keep the feeling of the cold gun against her forehead away. _Just metal and plastic. Christ, as if that's still gonna work._

"You okay with what happened, Katie?" His voice pulled her out of her thoughts and she could see the tension in his body as she glanced up at him again. She knew he'd be worried. But it didn't make her feel any less guilty for making him worry.

"I kinda have to be, don't I?"

"Katie." There was an ache in the tone of that single word that made the lump reappear in her throat and it took all of her energy to keep from moving to him, from sheltering him from this. She was the older child. She should be the worrying about him, not the other way around.

"I'm fine, Peter. I mean, I wasn't, but what happened at McGinty's seems to kind of pale with the rest of the events of the evening." He gave a short nod at her words and she realized it wasn't exactly the right way of putting it. Biting her lip, she sighed. "Peter, did you ever fear guns?"

After a long moment, he finally moved his eyes to her and he nodded slightly. "Some."

"And yet you work as a cop. With a gun."

"I got past it."

"So did I." She replied, her voice soft as she stared at him. "So stop worrying about me."

Smiling slightly, Peter shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. "Katie, you're going to Ireland. Thousands of miles out of my reach. I'll have nothing left to do but worry about you."

"Don't make me smack you."

"You know it's true."

Rolling her eyes, Katie mirrored him by crossing her arms across her chest. "I know two things. One, I'm going to Ireland with the McManuses, which makes me safer than, like 90 of the country."

Peter grinned fully, his head dipping in a nod. "And two?"

"And two? Well, the second thing I know is that your pancakes are burning."

His eyes widened and he muttered a few curses under his breath as he glanced down at the nearly black bottoms of the pancakes.

"Don't worry, Petey…I'll teach you again someday. When you're old enough." Katie laughed as he shot her a glare. The few pancakes on the griddle went into the garbage and her brother grinned but fell silent as he poured more batter onto the skillet.

She knew Murphy had woken up to find her gone the moment she heard the bedroom door slam open. Feet padded quickly against the worn carpet and his eyes were wide as he rounded the corner. His blue eyes met hers and Katie bit her lip as she watched the open emotion dance across his face before his hand wiped casually at his eyes.

"Mornin'." He had tried to keep his voice calm, she could tell, but the tension in it still filtered out. She offered him a smile, at a loss of what else to do now.

"Morning, Murph. Sorry. I woke up early."

"And enslaved yer brother already?" His smile was only slight as he moved toward her, his fingers cold as he took her hand.

"What are younger brothers for?"

"Apparently this." Peter flipped a pancake before nodding at Murphy. "Glad your up. She can bother someone else now."

"Aye, I better get used ta her botherin' me, I have a feelin'. Especially if I'm takin' her home with me."

"You still have time to rethink that, McManus."

Katie watched as the two men shared a grin. Murphy's hand squeezed her own gently and his eyes found hers again, searching her face carefully. "I think I'll keep her." He pressed his lips to hers, holding the soft kiss for a second longer than normal. His thumb stroked her cheek and he finally gave her a real smile.

Letting go of her hand, he moved to the coffee pot, pouring himself a mug before turning to Peter. "Ye need coffee, Peter?"

"No, but thanks."

"Check out our patient already?"

"As much as she'd let me."

"Guys, I'm right here. Stop that." Katie sighed, forcing back the smile that was fighting beneath the surface. It did touch her to know they cared, even if they were annoying about it. "I can take care of myself."

"I see that." Murphy's eyes flickered toward the pill bottle in the middle of the table. "But I still get the final fuckin' word."

Peter's choked out laughter irritated her almost as much as Murphy's words. "Since when?"

"Since the day I carried you out of that warehouse the first time." He grinned as she glared at him.

"Oh really?"

"I'm not protectin' ye from her, Murph. I've told ye that before." Connor's voice made them all glance over to where he stood just inside the living room.

"As if I needed yer protection."

"Ye'll need it ye keep along that track. Right, Peter?"

"Ah…yeah, I think I'd agree there."

"So, shut it, Murph." Katie smacked him in the stomach and she heard Connor's laughter join Peter's as she shared a long look with Murphy. He narrowed his eyes at her before setting his mug down on the counter.

"We'll save it as a discussion for another fuckin' time, alright?" Sighing, he crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes fixed on a spot near the fridge.

Katie watched him closely as Connor started talking to Peter and she saw that Murphy was really only pretending to listen. His body was tense and he hadn't looked back at her again.

And it annoyed her, for reasons she couldn't understand. He had his reasons, she was sure, but she couldn't manage to convince herself that they were logical reasons. After all, Murphy was known best for running on emotions. And this was one situation where emotions were overflowing. It was time for some fucking logic.

With that thought, she braced her hand on the table, supporting her weight as she stood up from the table. There was a brief pause in the teasing conversation but she couldn't get herself to look over at them. Her fingers played with the bottom of the t-shirt as she left the room, working hard to keep her own emotions at bay.

* * *

Connor turned back to Peter with a shrug and half-smile, and he adjusted his fingers against the coffee mug. They were all quiet for a second as Peter loaded a few more pancakes onto the plate next to the stove. He paused in reaching for the batter, raising his eyes to Connor's. 

"I talked to her about what happened at the bar."

"What'd she say?"

"That she got over it. Her fear. That she got over it just like I did. How did that happen?"

Grinning, Connor glanced over at Murphy who managed a small smile. "Ye might saw we found a way ta get her there."

"And how is that?"

"We taught her ta shoot." Murphy's words were soft and his eyes had returned to the empty doorway to the hallway. Connor just swallowed his sigh and gave a half laugh.

"Yer sister's a fuckin' good shot, Pete."

"Wait, I'm still absorbing the fact that you got her to pick up a fucking gun. How?"

"She wanted to do it. Yer sister might be bit afraid but she's got some fuckin' guts." Out of the corner of his eye, Connor saw Murphy set his mug back on the counter. Fidgeting for a moment, Murphy moved past them quickly, disappearing into the hallway. The sound of a door closing finally forced the sigh from Connor's lips. "Bout fuckin' time."

"He go to fight? Or to apologize?"

"Probably both." Connor brought his eyes back to Peter and shrugged. "Don't ye worry though, they'll get it figured out in the end. Murphy only plays the ass half the fuckin' time."

"What about the other half?"

"I get ta play the fuckin' part." Setting his mug on the counter next to Murphy's, he moved to the stove and waved his hand at Peter. "Now move. Ye're fuckin' undercookin' the damn things."

"Christ, you're as bad as Katie."

"Most older siblin's are." Connor grinned as Peter just handed over the spatula. "Now ye want ta go wake up Sara for me?"

"My choice of how?"

"No cold water. Otherwise, ye can choose. Just remember that I'm not protectin' ye from her either." He pointed the spatula at him.

"Something tells me you say that a lot." Peter winked at him and rubbed his hands together. "And something tells me I'll need the protection anyhow…"

"Somethin' tells me I've chosen the wrong man fer the job." Connor muttered, unable to keep the smile off of his face as he braced for whatever was to come.

* * *

She was crouched down in front of the dresser as he walked into the room and Murphy felt his heart freeze as he stared. He hurried to kneel beside her, his hands on her shoulders and it took more than a long moment of worry for him to see the confused look on her face. 

"Are ye okay?"

"I'm fine, Murph. Just getting some clothes to pack." Pulling away from him, she slipped a few more shirts out of the drawers and stood up.

His hands felt large and clumsy as he moved to help her, and he didn't miss the look of annoyance she shot at him.

"What are ye doin'? I can fuckin' pack for ye."

"Christ, I can do this on my own."

"Just let me help ye, Katie. I'll know more of what ta pack anyhow." He kept his voice light, not sure he wanted to push it any further at the moment. Nerves still danced through his veins and he tried to pull himself back from hovering too much. Images of her in the hospital ebbed and flowed in his mind, and he fought against the emotions that threatened.

"How do you know how to pack more than I do?"

"I've been ta Ireland, m'dear. I know the weather."

"Well…so?" She fought a grin before dropping the stack of clothes on the bed. "Fine, know-it-all. Help me pack."

Murphy slipped his arm around her, hanging it loosely over her shoulder as he pretended to study the pile on the bed. "First, ye need an umbrella."

"I don't own an umbrella. I have bad luck with them."

"Then we'll fuckin' get ye one. I'm sure that Ma's got a few extra."

"Murph." Katie paused, pressing her lips together before raising her eyes to his. He could feel her mind working and found himself grinning as she tried to come up with the right words.

"Yes, Katie?"

"Could you prepare me for Ma? What should I do? How should I act?"

Laughing slightly, he turned her to face him and cupped one hand behind her neck. "Just be yerself. And she'll not be able ta help but love ye."

He felt the tension in his gut subside as he pressed his lips to hers. Their kiss deepened and Murphy realized just how much he'd missed her. How much he missed this. And as his hands moved to slip up her shirt, he froze as his fingers brushed against the soft gauze on her left side. Breaking the kiss, Murphy felt the lump in his throat appear suddenly and he pressed his face into her hair.

Katie stiffened at his sudden movement, moving slightly away from him. But he kept his arms tightly around her, not wanting space between them. Not wanting anything between them.

"Murph?"

"What?"

"What just happened here?" She asked the question they both knew as unnecessary. He just took a deep breath and relaxed his hold on her as his only response. Time held still for him as he breathed in her scent and was warmed by her body in his arms. And he only released her when he finally knew he could do so and not have everything fall apart around him.

Her eyes were full of questions as he looked down at her but he didn't try to answer them. Didn't know if he could yet. So, instead he did the only thing he knew how to do. He pretended it didn't happen.

Picking up the dropped pile of clothes on the bed, Murphy sorted through the shirts, separating them into two different piles. "Ye need some warmer clothes than this, Katie. Ireland'll still be pretty cold this time o' year."

He was grateful when she just nodded, and she moved toward the dresser to pull out some more. His hands reached in before hers and they both laughed softly as they tugged on opposite ends of the same shirt.

"Go sit and direct me on what ta pack." He grinned and nodded toward the recliner. Her expression warned him that she wanted to protest, but to his surprise she simply moved carefully to it and sat primly on the edge.

"I thought you knew what to pack, Mr. McManus."

"I know the basics. But ye know what ye'll actually want ta wear." Murphy gestured toward the stack with his arms. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Wow, so I get, like, creative license on what I want to wear?"

"Aye, I'll let ye have that at least. Ye can even have the final word on it." He teased, dropping another stack on the bed.

"You're just so kind, Mr. McManus."

"I do what I can, Miss Shafer." He bowed slightly and grinned as he heard her laugh. "And I do it with love."

"So, I shall accept it with love. At least until my real Prince Charming comes."

"Might be bit o' a long fuckin' wait. Cuz he's not allowed in me country, a ghrà."

"What shall I ever do to fit in there, if my prince can no longer can rescue me?" Her smile was bright as he leaned down toward her.

"Drink a bit o' Hennessey, learn ta swear a bit more and love a McManus and I think ye'll fit in perfectly fine."

"So, I don't need to bleed green anymore?"

Murphy laughed softly and shook his head. "Nope, ye'll not be needin' ta sign a blood promise or anythin'."

"Just love a McManus?"

"Aye, that'll do it fer ye, if nothin' else."

Katie grinned, pulling at his hand to bring his face down to her level. She kissed him. "You think loving Connor'll be enough?"

Chuckling, Murphy shook his head. "Not even close to enough."

"Humm…then you'll have to do for now."

"You keep sayin' that and I'm gonna get a fuckin' complex here."

"Get back to work, McManus. That bag doesn't pack itself."

"If we didn't have a fuckin' flight ta catch…" He found himself laughing despite himself as she fluttered her eyelashes at him. "Never took ye as the manipulative type."

"You know you like it."

He shared another grin with her before shaking his head with a chuckle. And as he directed her in just what she needed to pack, he realized that things still weren't back to normal. If it were normal, she'd be kicking him out and packing on her own; not teasing him about the way he handled her panties or lecturing him about rolling her jeans wrong. And he wouldn't be there helping her to realize just how much he still had to learn about her.

While he was still struggling with the idea that everything happened for a reason, that his Katie was shot for a reason, Murphy found himself not nearly as bothered by the changes around him. She was still his Katie. And for him that would always be more than enough.

* * *

The breeze was cool as it danced around Katie and she pulled her coat tighter around herself. Peter shifted silently next to her where they leaned against the car and both of their gazes were fixed on the McManus twins. 

Murphy and Connor were kneeled down near a plain headstone right before the gentle curve of the cemetery road. And even from the distance Katie was from them, she could see their lips move in prayer, their eyes closed and hands clenching the rosaries around their neck. It was time for them to say goodbye to their friend, their own personal farewell to Rocco.

She knew she was being emotional when tears burned at the corners of her eyes and Katie forced a deep breath before glancing up at Peter. "Been out there lately?"

At his quick sideways look and accompanying sigh, she knew that her brother knew exactly what she was talking about. The cemetery back home in Stillwater now held three headstones for their family members. And for awhile, both she and Peter had made weekly trips, Brett occasionally going along with them.

Peter cleared his throat. "Not since you left."

Her eyes widened as she looked up at him and Katie ignored the sharp pain in her side as she twisted to face him. "What?"

"I haven't been out there since you left."

"Why not?"

"Didn't feel right. I decided to concentrate on finding you. Going out there wasn't going to help me do that."

"Pete." She sighed, breathing deeply around the lump in her throat, her eyes focused again on the two McManuses. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For leaving like that. I mean, I know it's just words, but I just wanted you to know that I am sorry."

"Don't be, Katie. You did what you had to do. And I did what I had to do. And that brought us both here."

"To a cemetery."

"No, Katie. To the end of the turmoil. To the end of the fucking suffering." Peter faced her, blocking the wind from reaching her. Katie closed her eyes against the instant warmth for a moment. "You leaving was what was supposed to happen. If you hadn't have left, you never would have met him."

Peter's eyes wandered out to where Murphy and Connor were now standing, hands on each other's shoulders. They crossed themselves again and turned toward the car. Katie was surprised to see the smiles on both of their faces.

"And I think that meeting him, fuck, meeting them is the best thing that could have ever happened to you." His words were soft as the McManuses approached and she barely got a chance to smile at him before they reached the car, their voice racing them in the wind.

"Let's get goin'. We've got a plane ta catch." Murphy threw his arm around Katie, pulling her gently back against him.

"And a girl ta pick up." Connor pulled out the car keys and shot a grin at Peter. "You know, ye can come with us, Pete. We can probably still get ye ticket ta go."

Although she knew the answer before looking at him, Katie still felt disappointed as her brother just shook his head. "Not right now. But I might take you up on that later. I need to get a few things settled here first."

"Like finding a new position, right?" She grinned at him and he shrugged.

"Actually, they've offered my old one back to me in Stillwater. I'm starting next week."

Murphy patted his shoulder with a teasing grin. "That's great, Peter. Ye can go clean up the crime in little bit o' a town."

Katie slid carefully into the back seat, moving over to give Murphy room to climb in. Peter glanced back from the front seat as Connor started the car. "I'll clean up that town and then I'll come to take care of the bad men your village or whatever."

"Officer Shafer. That'd raised a few fuckin' eyebrows."

"Why?"

"The Irish don't take too kindly ta bein' kept in line by the Germans, m'boy." Connor shot him a grin as they left the cemetery.

"You tell him, _Da_." Katie laughed from the back seat as his eyes found hers in the mirror.

"Be watchin' what ye're sayin' lass, or ye'll be getting' a spankin' too."

"I'll take care o' that duty, Conn. Don't ye worry." He winked at her. Giving him a mock glare, she finally gave in to a laugh and settled back against him. Peter just shook his head with a grin. The car fell into silence as they took in the sights of the city one last time. Because they knew that by nightfall, they'd all be out of Boston for good.

* * *

Peter noticed that silence had fallen over the group as he walked inside the airport. Talking buzzed from all sides and their silence almost seemed to be a cocoon around them, protecting them, cushioning them. And he wished he knew that's all it would take for his sister to get to Ireland safely. 

She had started hanging back a little from the group, walking closer to him and he knew she was preparing herself for the goodbye. They'd been so close for so many years when they were younger, rarely needing to say a real goodbye to each other. And then she'd taken off and he'd been cheated a proper goodbye. And now they were attempting to prepare for something they'd never really tried to do after all.

He put his arm around her as they reached the security checkpoint and pulled her into his arms. She hugged him tightly, pressing her face into his chest and he could feel her sigh.

"I'm gonna miss you, Petey."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's not get mushy." He tried to smile down at her, despite the tears he saw in her eyes. She tried to smile back, but the attempt was lost as a few tears fell down. "What'd I say about mushy?"

Katie laughed softly. "Sorry. Couldn't help it."

"Take care of yourself. Be good. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Don't take candy from strangers…" He rattled them off, feeling the tightness in his chest subside as she chuckled again.

"You're the one more likely to take candy from strangers."

"Yeah, well I'll refrain from it until you get back here to protect me."

"Be good, Peter. Go get settled in Stillwater. Then, if we're still there, come to Ireland. That's an order."

"From all o' us." Murphy spoke up quietly from behind them, his eyes on Peter. "Ye need ta come meet the rest o' the family ta truly appreciate where we went wrong."

Peter grinned back, fully able to read the underlying message his sister's boyfriend was trying to get to him. And he knew he'd live up to the promise as soon as possible. He didn't know the McManuses well, but they were good people. And if they were going to be Katie's family, they were going to become his family as well. They were people he should get to know while he still had the chance to object.

Not that he'd get the chance, he knew, as he saw Katie and Murphy together. That decision had been made long ago. He wasn't sure that either of them had talked about it with each other, or even if they knew yet themselves. But he knew they were meant to be together.

And that made it easier to let her go.

So after shaking hands with Murphy and Connor, after getting a quick, playful hug from Sara and after holding his sister tightly one last time, he stood and watched them pass through the security gate together.

And he felt the warmth inside him grow as he saw the care that Murphy took with his sister, how he stood to her left side to keep her protected from getting bumped, and how he insisted on carrying her carry-on. And how he instantly teased a smile out of her as soon as she got annoyed with him.

Peter had never been sure that there would ever be a man good enough for his sister. But in meeting Murphy, he realized he was wrong. Because if nothing else, Murphy was good enough for her. He was right for her.

* * *

The nerves tightened in Sara's stomach as they entered the terminal. She hadn't told Connor that she didn't like flying. Hell, she didn't even know if Katie knew. It wasn't a fear, per say, but rather an internal struggle between her rational and her illogical phobia of hurtling through the air in a cylinder of aluminum. Or of whatever it was planes were made of. 

But it didn't matter, because she was getting on that plane. She was getting on there and she was getting through the flight with all the grace she could muster. Or at least with less than one full air-sick bag.

It took her a long minute to realize that Connor's attention was on her and she tried to look relaxed as his eyes narrowed at her. "What wrong, Sara?"

"Nothing." She fiddled with the tag on her carry-on bag, trying to keep her eyes away from his. He'd learned to read her far too well.

"Sara. Ye don't have ta be nervous. Ma'll love ye."

She grinned as his misinterpretation and looked back up at him. "You sure?" It was easier to just play along, to just let him think she was afraid of meeting his mother. Because she probably should be, but it hadn't hit her yet. She was more concerned with surviving the flight first.

"I promise. Now take a deep breath and relax." His arms slid around her and she leaned against him, his warmth taking the edge off of the jitters. Connor was proving to be useful for some things.

He led her over to where Katie and Murphy sat in their terminal. Murphy's eyes continued to wander the large open area, his fingers tapping an unsteady rhythm on his knee. Katie's eyes were on a glossy magazine and Sara couldn't help but grin as her friend reached over and spread her hand over one of Murphy's, squeezing it slightly.

"Look, we've got another hour before the plane takes off. I'm gonna go get some drinks. What do ye three want?"

"I'm fine." Katie's eyes stayed on the magazine but Murphy shook his head.

"Get her something. I'll take a coke." He moved to reach for his wallet but Connor held out his hand.

"I've got cash." He squeezed his hand on Sara's shoulders before stepping away. "And for you?"

"An iced tea if you can find one. If not, a diet coke works."

"Make that a diet pepsi for me, Conn. Since I'm being forced to order." Katie smiled slightly, shooting a look at Murphy. "Though I suppose it's because I have a schedule to keep."

"Glad I'm not the only one fuckin' keeping track."

"Okay, an iced tea or diet coke, a coke and a diet pepsi?"

They all three nodded and Sara moved her suitcase over to sit next to Katie. Murphy shifted suddenly as Connor began to walk away.

"Hey, Conn, careful." He paused slightly. "Ye don't want ta fuckin' spill something."

Connor held his gaze for a moment and nodded slowly. He grinned. "Don't worry, Murph. I'm sure they'll be in cans."

"Ye know what I fuckin' mean."

"Aye, I do. Now ye can stop twitchin' already."

Sara heard Katie laugh softly and she glanced over at her. "You sure you want to do this?"

"We could run now."

"Second thoughts?"

"Nope, just want to make them chase us." Katie grinned. "Magazine to take the nerves off?"

"They show that much?"

"Not to the naked eye, but yes."

"Well, keep that to yourself." Sara kept her voice low, her eyes on the magazine as she flipped casually through it.

"Roger that. 10-4, good buddy." Katie winked at her and they both laughed softly. Sara leaned over her to catch Murphy's eye.

"What drugs do you have her on?"

"They were supposed ta make her fuckin' listen ta me, but so much for that." He grinned back and grunted as Katie smacked him in the chest. "Wait until you heal completely, then I can fight fair with ye."

"You never fought fair to begin with."

"Well, maybe I fuckin' will this time."

Sara cleared her throat. "Anyway, what are you two going to show us in Ireland?"

"The church if ye're bad and the secret hideout if ye're fuckin' good." Connor spoke as he came up behind him, four cans in his arms.

"Define: good." Sara teased him, leaning back against his shoulder as he relaxed into the seat beside her. A smile quirked at the corners of his lips but he didn't respond. Both brothers fell silent as she and Katie talked back and forth and flipped through the magazine together. And Sara knew they were worried.

She assumed they were worried about getting caught in their last little bit on American soil, but when Connor's quiet lasted even after they'd boarded the airplane, she knew it was something else. And it occurred to her that nobody had mentioned the whole reason they were going: their uncle. Nobody had mentioned it, but apparently it had still been on everybody's mind, weighing mostly on the minds of the two twins.

Connor was even distracted enough that he failed to notice her unease with being on the plane, with being pressed against the seat during take off. And it was only as she fought against the rapid beating of her own pulse and took his hand into her own that he seemed to even remember she was there. His brow furrowed as he glanced at her, his eyes studied her face closely.

"Ye okay?"

"Fine. Not a big fan of planes." She let it out, hoping it would make her feel better. Hoping he would make her feel better. But her plan failed and she realized she was on her own with her fear as he simply nodded and brought her hand to his lips while his eyes wandered off into the other direction again.

"You okay, Conn?"

"What?"

"You okay?"

"Aye, I'm fine. Just thinkin'."

"About?"

"About sleepin'.

"You're tired?" She stared at him in mild disbelief, her body awake with the adrenaline that she was only barely able to control. He brought his eyes to her again for a long moment before glancing down the aisle.

"Ye're not, huh?"

"Wide awake. You're not going to sleep on me, are you?"

Connor smiled slowly at her, his eyes glancing down the aisle quick before returning to her. "I've got an idea. Stay here." He kissed her quickly and was out of his seat before she could say a word.

And she sat there nervously, repeatedly checking the seatbelt light to make sure it wasn't on, her eyes drifting to the window before she brought them back again. Looking down wouldn't help her right now. Closing her eyes, she tried to breathe deeply, hoping it would make her feel a little less sick than she was currently feeling. When a warm body sat back down next to her, she was startled to find it was a grinning Murphy, instead of Connor.

"Hi."

"Ye're not gonna fuckin' sleep, are ye?"

"Not likely." She managed to laugh, and felt Murphy look at her a little closer.

"Fuck. He didn't even fuckin' notice, did he?"

"Notice what?"

"That ye're fuckin' terrified. Ye don't like planes, do ye?"

Shrugging, she tried to look a little less afraid. "It's a mutual dislike really."

"Ye need distraction." He reached up and adjusted one of the little fans above his head, glancing at her.

"Distraction?"

"Aye, distraction. Tell me about yerself."

"Did that line work with Katie?"

"That it did. So answer it." He smiled and Sara found that she was relaxing a little bit as she gave into laughter.

"What do you want to know?"

"Anything juicy ta keep from me brother. The juicier the better." Wagging his eyebrows at her, Murphy relaxed in the seat next to her, sitting so that he could comfortably see her. Sara leaned back against the side of the plane without even realizing it, her hands no longer gripping the arm rests.

"Juicy, huh? How long have you got?"

"I'd say about fourteen fuckin' hours. Just how much do ye got?"

"Enough to entertain us." She smiled broadly. "Connor up there bothering Katie then?"

"She's sleepin'. And he wanted ta sleep, too."

"He's thinking about something, not sleeping."

"He's worryin' and hopin' ta fuckin' distract himself by sleepin'."

Sara crossed her arms over her chest, smiling slightly at him. "And you're distracting yourself by talking to me."

"Somethin' like that. So start talkin'."

Grinning, Sara's eyes wandered up the aisle where she could now see Connor's head leaning back against the seat. Katie was hidden next to the window. And she found herself glad that Murphy was there. She was finding out that Connor's brother could be a better friend than she realized. And maybe someday, he'd make a great brother-in-law, too.

* * *

**Relaxed yet? Okay, so maybe you can relax for a little while still. But just so you know, I'm not just tying up loose ends here...:) (que evil laughter...) **


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: What follows is what I managed to get done, and what I didn't throw out. Pure fluff as a peace offering for being patient with me. And again, I want to change my 'posting schedule'. It seems that I'm not able to stick to the once a week one. I'm not sure if it's the Monday night deadline that's causing the writer's block but I know that it has stressed me out a few times. So, instead, I'm taking away the deadline. This doesn't mean it's going to be weeks on end between postings. It simply means that I'll get them up as soon as I get them done and maybe without the pressure, I'll be able to write them. :) I am still aiming for a week between postings...but it might vary from time to time. It seems that the full-time adult life really can eat up your time. Especially when your friends and family still haven't grasped the point of having 'writing time.' But they'll learn soon enough. :) And while I hope that I haven't discouraged any of you from reading, I understand if this is getting annoying. But I did want to assure that I'm not burning out on the story. I do know what is going to happen here and there is a very distinct ending (and segway into the sequel--which is still planned to be written.) It's just getting it from the murky depths of my head onto the blank white screen in front of me. Anyhow, here's what I've gotten done...hope to have more up soon.  
**

* * *

  
Katie woke up annoyed. Her side was aching, her ears were popping and Murphy was nowhere to be found, with Connor seemingly as his sleeping replacement. His brother's eyes opened slowly and focused on her before he frowned and sat up.

"Ye alright?"

"Fine, just need to take my pill."

"Okay, so where's it at?"

She ignored his question and tried to consciously grope below her seat for her carry-on bag without bending at the waist. And she thought that while she failed at getting the bag, she succeeded at hiding what she was doing until he rolled his eyes with a half laugh.

"What the fuck do ye think yer doin' Katie? Let me get the fuckin' bag fer ye." And she found herself envious of the ease in which he pulled the bag out, folding his body nearly in half to scoop through the front compartments. "So where's the bottle? Nevermind, found it."

The pill was dropped in her hand and a small bottle of water appeared from his pocket. He held it out for her with a closer study of her face. "Ye look a little better."

"Gee, thanks Doc."

"No, ye're a bit confused. Doc is back in Boston."

"Ha ha." She made a face before swallowing the medicine and relaxing back into her seat with her eyes closed. The shuffling beside her made it clear that Connor was still waiting to know what to do.

"Ye want me ta grab Murph?"

"I'm fine, Conn. I don't need your fucking brother every time I take a pill."

"He's just tryin' ta help ye, Katie. Murph might get a bit overzealous, but he's got only the best intentions for ye." His lips were pressed into a frown as Katie opened her eyes to look at him and she couldn't hold back a sigh.

"Christ, Connor, are you always going to be playing the middle man for us?"

"Katie." He exhaled her name in a long breath and closed his eyes.

She just shook her head, feeling the annoyance sink in. She barely got a chance to wonder if she wasn't just being overly emotional when he sighed again and shifted toward her.

"I'm not tryin' ta be in the middle here. It's just that the two o' ye are emotional and rather fuckin' dramatic. And I know me brother, and that while his actions say a different message at times, I know what's in his heart."

Katie was a little surprised the disappointment in his words. And while the pain in her side was mellowing, she couldn't help but be bothered by the situation. "Conn, you can't always be around to communicate for him. We've got to learn to talk to each other. Without you."

"And ye will, Katie. But ye've hardly had a fuckin' chance ta do so with everythin' goin' on. Ye know that's true."

"Maybe." She conceded with another sigh. And she found it was easy to change the subject as she glanced at him again. "How's Sara doing?"

Connor shrugged, stealing the water bottle from her and taking a long drink before handing it back to her. "Doin' about what? She's entertainin' Murph."

"Is that why you're here?"

He frowned slightly. "Not really. I wanted ta sleep and she wasn't tired. And I knew that Murph can't fuckin' sleep durin' flights either."

"He scared of flying too?" Katie glanced over the seats back to where the other two sat, still laughing and talking.

"Fuck, ye know how Murph is. Can't sit still. Bein' stuck in a plane for six hours isn't an easy feat for him." Connor grinned and then tilted his head slightly at her. "And what do ye mean 'too'? Are ye scared of flyin'?"

"Not me."

"Who then?"

"Christ, you're kind of thick sometimes, aren't you Connor?"

His eyes narrowed at her before he shot a look back Sara. "Ye don't mean…?"

"You didn't notice her getting nervous when we got to the airport?"

"I thought it was because o' Ma."

Katie chuckled softly. "Then you got it wrong. That's probably why she can't sleep."

"Christ, I'm a fuckin' ass, aren't I?" He turned backwards again, shifting in his seat. "I better go fuckin' talk ta her."

"Send Murph here then. I supposed I better talk to him."

Her eyes met his and they both laughed. "Okay, time ta switch again." Connor ran his palm over her hair quickly as he got up, giving her a last smile before moving away.

Katie sat back into her seat, finding that she was actually fairly relaxed now and knew that Connor was usually good for that.

The weight in the seat next to her made her open her eyes and she saw Murphy giving her a cautious look. "How ye doin'?"

And for once the question didn't annoy her. "I'm good. You?"

His smile was bright as he relaxed back into the seat. "I think I'm finally ready for a fuckin' nap. Yer friend there can talk more than yer brother, can't she?"

"Let's just say there was never a quiet moment between the two of them." Katie leaned her head against his shoulder. The seat arm between them disappeared as his arm came around her and she found herself nestled against his chest. Murphy pressed a kiss to the top of her head and she took his other hand, holding it between her own.

"Murph?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." She kept the words soft but felt his slight reaction. His arm tightened around her slightly and he leaned his cheek against her hair.

"What's that for?"

"Because. I don't think I get to say it often enough. At least not without some drama attached. It's kinda nice just to say it because."

He was silent for a moment but she heard the smile in his words when he finally responded. "I love ye, too, Katie. Just because."

"Good." She grinned, squeezing his hand slightly. "Then lets take a nap together. Just because."

"Sounds like a good fuckin' plan. Ye'll need all the energy ye can get if yer ta face Ma first thing." He chuckled as she raised her head to look at him.

"What do you mean, Murph?"

"Nothin'"

"Murphy!"

"Nothin'. She's gonna love ye. She'll love the both o' ye. It might just be an interesting first few minutes."

Katie sighed and sifted her head against his chest. "Fuck, Murph. You know how to make a girl nervous."

"Sleep. We'll be ta Ireland soon enough and ye can get nervous then."

And while she knew that she only when along with his order because she was truly tired, Katie was satisfied to let him think it was because he'd told her to. She knew that sometimes Murphy just needed to know that his words were actually being heard by her. And she knew that eventually she'd be able to make it clear that just because she heard him, didn't mean she had to listen. But that could be saved for another time. Another time when she wasn't so tired, so content and possibly, so in love.


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: Finally! Happy Halloween!**

The remainder of the plane ride flew by for Connor as he managed to tease and talk to Sara without admitting to her that he knew she was scared. Her smile had been bright when he had interrupted her and Murphy and after Connor had sat down in his seat next to her, she had taken his hand instantly, tracing the scars on his knuckles for a large part of their next hour together.

There was a glimpse of fear in her as the plane met the runway smoothly but Connor had simply put his arm around her and brought her attention away with a long, soft kiss. And while it had worked to pull her away from her worries, it had also freed him from his for that moment of connection. It was that connection that they both needed for different reasons.

They all left the plane silently, gathering their coats and bags, filing through the long, clumsy line to the terminal. Sara's hand slipped into his as they moved into the warmth of the airport and he felt Murphy step up to stand beside him as they looked around. They were home. They'd made it back home.

As their eyes wandered, Connor felt Sara sigh beside him, and he glanced over to see a big smile on her face. "Even smells like Ireland."

"What do ye mean?"

"We're not far from alcohol or smoke. The air is full of it." She just laughed as he made a face at her.

"Don't be insultin' me home."

"Why don't we got get the luggage, Sara? Let the boys find Ma on their own." Katie spoke up from the other side of Murphy and Connor looked away from Sara just in time to see his brother shake his head.

"Ye pick up one fuckin' suitcase, Katie, and I'll…"

"And you'll what?" Her smile was tired but her eyes were still bright and full of laughter as she raised her eyebrows at Murphy and waited. There was a long moment of silence before Sara released his hand and laughed.

"I'll take care of the lifting. Katie can guard the bags."

Connor's eyes had started wandering, looking for their Ma again as he heard his twin give a long, drawn-out sigh. "Fine. But ye're in charge, Sara."

Katie moved to debate that further but Sara just took her hand and slowly pulled her away. They were both laughing before they reached even a short distance from them and Connor couldn't help but to smile at the sight.

"What in the world have we got ourselves in ta here, Murph?"

"Fuck if I know."

The deep sound of a woman's laugh made them glance together toward the bar nearby and Connor met his brother's eye with a grin. Their Ma was seated at the bar and talking with a burly bartender who seemed to be hanging on her every word.

"Big fuckin' surprise there." Murphy's words were soft but Connor didn't miss the laughter in his voice.

The bar didn't look any different than the last time they'd been in it, ten years before when they'd been young, stupid and determined to find their life in the States. Ma had hidden her tears behind a few rough jokes and a few more scotches as she'd come to see them off. And the words slipped out that only his brother would understand. "Ye think she ever left?"

Murphy's laughter filled the air, causing it to roll out of Connor as well and the tension of the moment was broken. It was their Ma and their airport bar and finally, their time to be home.

Their laughter caught the attention of folks around and Connor fought against the immediate feeling to keep hidden, keep away from the attention. They were free now, away from the police, away from Boston, and even, in some small way, away from the Saints.

"Ye know, Conn, I think what we need is a nice Guinness ta make the welcome proper."

"At least ta start with. Lead the way, Murph."

They entered the pub area, working their way around the mostly empty round tables. Connor kept his eye on their Ma, waiting for her to turn around, to see them before they got there. But the first recognition came from the bartender who simply met their gazes and gave a slight nod.

"What'll it be?"

"Well, first ye need ta be cuttin' this young lady off." Murphy's teasing caught their Ma's attention.

Her voice was deep and smoke covered, and it was a voice he would recognize with his eyes closed. And it was a voice that had echoed in his dreams.

"And ye need ta politely fuck off…" The remainder of her words were lost as her eyes fell on them, flicking between their faces.

Connor heard Murphy say it first. "Ma!"

Her arms pulled them both into a strong hug with less trouble then if they'd still been ten years old. She smelled of cigars and sweet perfume, and as she smacked a kiss onto both of their cheeks, Connor knew he'd been marked with the same mauve lipstick she'd worn since they were little. Christ, in the ten long years of hell and hardship, their Ma had barely changed.

But the tears in her eyes surprised him as she pulled back to take a good, long look at the both of them. "Ye're finally home. Me boys are home. It's about fuckin' time."

"And we're here ta stay Ma." Connor found himself saying, and as he spoke the words he realized there was nothing else he'd rather do. Murphy nodded quickly from beside him.

"We're here fer good this time."

Ma's arms came around them again and Connor found himself drawn into another hug. And with one arm around Murphy and the other around his Ma, he leaned his head against Ma's with the realization that this really was exactly where he needed to be. They'd had their time away, their time to find themselves and to become the men they needed to be. And now it was their time to find out exactly how that would fit into the world they'd left at home.

* * *

"I sure hope it gets better than this airport." Katie looked around them again as she waited for Sara to pull the final suitcase off of the conveyor belt.

"God, you still hate traveling, don't you?"

"From the bottom of my heart."

"But how can you hate this trip?" The last word was emphasized as Sara heaved the worn brown suitcase off and onto the ground. She flexed her fingers as she looked up at Katie with a raised eyebrow. "It's Ireland, Kat. Fucking Ireland. Finally."

Katie just shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest. It wasn't really clear to her even why she felt that way. She'd always been anxious while they'd traveled; only feeling free from it when they'd finally reached either their destination or their home. But this time the nerves were a bundled knot buried deep in her gut and she'd worked hard this whole time to keep it hidden, to keep it bundled, and to keep it from ruining this for everybody. And as she felt Sara's eyes still on her face, she realized she'd failed on all parts.

"You'll feel better once we reach their house. You know that." Sara's hand squeezed her shoulder and Katie covered it with her own. She knew her friend understood what little of the feelings she expressed and she hoped the weight from her chest would disappear as they left the airport. But for the moment it was there to stay.

"Ye know, I thought I'd trained me boys better than ta leave the girls ta do the heavy work." The woman's voice was thickly accented and Katie knew before she even turned at it was Ma. She smiled with ease as she saw the humor on the woman's face, and as she saw the clear resemblance between her and both of the boys.

Murphy stepped forward from the left side of Ma and put his arm around her, his hand rubbing gently down her back. "Ma, this is Katie. Katie, this is our Ma."

"So ye're the innocent who led me boys astray." The teasing tone in her words was the only thing that let Katie know she was joking. And she found herself grinning widely.

"Well, somebody had to do it. Your boys were perfect angels when I met them. Disgusting, really."

"Ye lie wonderfully, Katie. It's wonderful ta finally fuckin' meet ye. And this is your accomplice?"

"This is Sara, Ma." Connor laughed as he brought her closer. Katie could see the sudden nerves in the way Sara's fingers gripped Connor's forearm for a brief second before she offered her hand to Ma.

"Nice to finally meet you, Ma. I've heard a lot about you."

"All good, I hope."

"Of course." Sara winked at Connor who just shook his head with a smile.

Ma chuckled softly and pulled her cigarettes from her coat pocket. "Than ye've been told all wrong, m'dear."

"That's our Ma, rotten ta the fuckin' core." Murphy dodged a half hearted slap from his mother as he stepped closer to Katie.

"Watch yer mouth, boy. Or I'll have yer Da after ye."

"Where is Da?" Katie broke Murphy off from any response as she brought Ma's attention back to her. Ma took a long drag on her cigarette before offering the pack around. Murphy and Connor both took one, lighting them together.

"At the hospital with Sibeal. Which is where these boys'll be goin' as soon as we get movin' here." Ma took the shoulder bag strap from Katie's hand and set it on her own shoulder. "The two o' ye will be coming with me ta run the bar for a little while. If ye're feelin' up ta it, that is."

Since she felt all eyes on her, Katie nodded instantly, forcing a smile. "Sounds like fun."

With another brief study of her, Ma nodded in response and tipped her head toward the exit. "Than let's get goin'. Yer Uncle'll be better and back ta the Anvil before us at this pace."

Both Connor and Murphy picked up the rest of the bags, leaving two smaller carry-ons for Sara to handle. Katie crossed her arms over her chest for lack of anything better to do and trailed behind them slightly as they led the way out. A short ways from the exit, Murphy fell back beside her, his gaze on her face.

"Ye doin' okay?" His tone was light.

"I'm fine. Tired, but so are you."

"Aye, but a good night's sleep and we'll be back inta the swing o' things."

Katie grinned and took his hand, squeezing it. "I'll believe it if it happens."

The Irish air hit them full force as they left the protection of the airport terminal and Murphy pulled her closer to him, blocking her a little from the wind. "Do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Go easy at the bar. The two o' ye don't need ta do anythin' but keep Ma company. We'll be back before it gets too crowded."

"That takes away my plan to earn souvenir money by dancing on the tables."

He laughed softly and she felt some of the earlier anxiety leave as she realized that little had changed. They may be on a different continent, but Murphy was the same, they were the same.

"How 'bout this? Ye give it a bit more time than we'll ease ye inta the table dancin'. Ye can try it out for me first, and then once I've approved that ye're good enough, ye can move your act ta the bar."

Connor pulled the car up beside them as Katie just shook her head with a smile. "And how shall I ever repay this act of kindness, Murphy?"

"I'm sure we can think o' something." He winked and kissed her lightly before opening the door for her. "I'm sure Conn can help with creative ideas when the time comes."

Looking back at them in the rearview mirror, Connor raised an eyebrow. "I can help with what?"

"Nevermind." She said quickly, giving Murphy a look as he opened his mouth to reply. He grinned and kept silent, putting his arm around her.

"So, boys. What parts o' the town gossip do ye want ta be caught up on first?" Ma turned in her seat to look at Murphy as well. Katie felt him laugh beside her and there was a moment of silence as the twins shared a long look through the rearview mirror.

"Everythin' Ma. Absolutely everything." Connor grinned, keeping his eyes on the road as he pulled them onto a two-lane road and Ma's smile matched his.

"I was hopin' ye'd say that."

"Aye, we knew that ye were." Murphy's whisper barely reached Katie's ear and she nudged his softly. The soft vibrations of his laughter made her join in and they all listened with grins as Ma hopped and skipped over ten years of vital gossip.

* * *

Even in the early afternoon hours in the middle of the week, the bar was loud and smoky, despite the fact that those working the bar outnumbered the patrons. Katie was perched on the stool across from where Sara was working, drying glasses and attempting to stack them in a pyramid.

"If you knock that over, I'm going to laugh."

"Go back to your beer pouring, bar wench."

"Christ, do I have that tattooed on my forehead?" Sara raised an eyebrow as her friend merely grinned.

"Nope, but I bet you the boys know a good tattoo parlor around here."

"There's one on the other end o' town. Their cousin Desmond opened it up a few years back. Before that the lot o' them had ta go quite a bit further ta find a someone less than half drunk ta do it. The two o' ye thinkin' of getting inked?" Ma rested her arm on the bar beside them, her cheeks red from the work of filling the ice bin.

"Yeah, Sar. You thinking of getting inked?" Katie grinned and Sara fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"Not as of yet." She smiled and filled the last glass with Guinness. Ma set them in front of the men a few feet down and came back to lean against the bar.

"The two o' ye seem ta get along quite well."

"Well, that's because we've known each other for a while."

"For a _long_ while." Sara emphasized the words, giving into the laughter as Katie made a face at her.

"So ye didn't meet through the boys?"

"We went to college together. We just sort of re-met through the boys."

"I always hoped that the lasses me boys found in the States would be willin' ta spend a lot o' time together. I'd hate the twins ta be separated on account o' feuding girlfriends."

Sara took a still wet glass from Katie's dwindling pile and dried it with her own towel before reaching for another one. "And here I thought they were quite entertained when we fought."

Ma's laugh was loud and made then both jump a little before giving into their own giggles. "I'm sure they do enjoy it, m'dear. Oh and Katie, I've been meanin' ta tell ye. There's a cot in the backroom if ye get a bit tired and want ta lay down."

"Christ, Murphy." The mutter was quiet but was still clearly heard by them all.

"Now, Kathleen, Murph didn't tell me anythin'. Pat gave me the details last night when he arrived. And all the bellyachin' in the world isn't goin' ta heal that if ye don't take it easy." Ma patted her on the hand with a surprising motherly smile before turning away to move down the bar. Sara let out a half laugh.

"Ma, why is there a cot in the backroom?"

"It's fer the terrible snowstorms we used ta get. Both Patrick and Sibeal were snowed in more than once and sleepin' in the booths before they thought ta bring it in here."

"Now don't ye believe a filthy lie from that woman's mouth." The words came from behind them in a voice Sara could only describe as bitchy and British with a slight Irish accent. The woman was a sort of refined pretty from the way her graying hair was pulled up in a French twist to the way she clutched her purse in her hand instead of letting it dangle and swing over her shoulder.

Katie's eyes were wide as she turned back to share a glance with Sara and they both brace for what she was sure would be a loud response. Instead, after only a brief moment of silence, both Ma and the woman broke out into laughter. The woman took a seat beside Katie and a smile lit up her face as she looked between the two of them.

"The cot was for both Annabelle's and my own pregnancies. It's amazin' how many hours ye can end up volunteerin' o' your time at this bar."

"Girls, this is the boys' Aunt Lucy. You want your regular, Luce?"

"I hardly drink enough to have a regular." Lucy said primly then smiled again. "But I'll have what I always have."

"Rum and coke it is. Girls?"

Sara grinned. "I'll join Aunt Lucy on that one."

"A girl after me own heart."

"I'll have a screwdriver. Without the screwdriver part, that is." Katie made a face that just had Sara laughing at her.

"As soon as you can drink again, we'll come down here and get drunk. Make the boys responsible for hauling us home."

"Or the two o' you can just share the cot." Ma offered dryly as she set the drinks down. "It might be a tight fit but it can be done."

"Yeah, but Annie, we didn't stay the whole fuckin' night that way. I clearly remember bein' dragged home by Sibeal." Lucy lifted her glass up in a toast, glancing around as she waited for the others to join her. "To family."

"And ta friends." Ma offered and her eyes twinkled as she winked at Lucy.

Their voices were in unison as they finished the toast. "And ta those in-between."

The glasses had been clinked and the two older woman had already taken drinks by the time Sara realized what they'd said. But the focus was off of them as Lucy began to fill Ma in on how their husbands were passing time at the hospital. And as she tried to meet Katie's glance, she caught a glimpse at the fatigue that her friend had been hiding fairly well.

"Go lay down, Katie."

"I'm fine."

"Go, then you can be fine when Murphy gets here."

"I'll show ye where it is, lass." Ma nodded at her and to Sara's surprise Katie slid off of the stool in agreement. They disappeared behind the bar and after a long moment, she brought her gaze back around to find Lucy watching her.

"She doing okay?"

"Yeah, she'll be fine." Sara shared a smile with the older woman before moving down the bar again to check on drink orders. Ma came out alone a few minutes later and the two woman talked while she worked down at her end, the noise level of the bar rising to meet the growing number of patrons.

And as Sara poured drinks on her end, she observed Ma and Aunt Lucy, and realized she'd been completely wrong. Her imagined version of the boys' Ma was nothing like the real one.

She was rough in words and in image, like Sara had imagined, but at the same time she had an amazingly soft quality to her. More than once since leaving the airport she'd seen Ma convey a motherly feeling in a simple touch or glance. And she could see bits of Murphy's obnoxiousness mixed in with a large dose of the same responsibility that ran through Connor in the woman.

Sara realized that as much as she was prepared to dislike her, she truly enjoyed being around Ma. And in the few hours that had lapsed since she'd met her, she really started to care whether or not she was liked by her. It was suddenly vital that Connor's Ma approved of her.

* * *

The backroom was smaller and dustier than Murphy remembered, but the cot hadn't moved more than an inch since he'd last been back there. As he turned the corner, he saw that Katie was curled up beneath the old blanket, still sound asleep. It took his breath slightly away to see her like that, with the setting sun splashing across her hair and her cheeks.

Sitting down beside her, he brushed a hand down her hair, feeling the sudden need to wake her up, to talk to her. There was so much he wanted to tell her about the feelings rushing through his mind and through his heart, but as her eyes blinked opened, he kept silent, simply offering her a smile instead.

"Murph." Her lips spread into a grin and she pushed herself up with her arms. "What time is it?"

"Nearly seven. Have a nice nap?"

"A surprisingly comfortable one. I had doubts when I saw the cot."

He laughed. "It's not too bad. I've slept here once or twice meself."

"How's your uncle?"

Bringing her hand to his lips, Murphy pressed a kiss to it before answering, feeling the nerves from the hospital fighting to come back as he thought about it. "He'll be alright, I guess. Comin' home in a few days."

"Good."

A commotion came from out in the bar but the laughter made it clear that nothing was wrong before he coul move to see. Katie wrinkled her brow and grinned. "Do I want to know?"

"Probably not. But let's go find out anyhow. It's time fer ye ta meet the family."

"Fuck." She stood up away from the cot and Murphy felt the warmth of her body as she put her arm around his waist. Raising an eyebrow, she stared up at him. "They aren't like the Adams family, are they?"

He couldn't help but laugh. "Nope."

"The Manson family?"

"Hardly. More like the fuckin' Partridge family. Without all the singin' and dancin'. And without the fuckin' wholesome goodness ta us."

"So nothing like the Partridge family then."

Kissing her softly, he smiled down at her. "We're like the McManus family. Ye'll get the official welcome tonight."

"Can't wait." The sarcasm wasn't lost on him but the laughter in her eyes made him grin as they left the backroom together.

* * *

Sara leaned against the bar with her elbows on either side of her drink. The laughter of the bar throbbed around her, increasing her headache and she fought the urge to put her forehead on the bar. Ma had insisted that she sit down for a break after the fourth Irishman had hit on her in a row. _Christ, there's got to be something in the fucking water._

Arms surrounded her waist from behind and she relaxed against the warmth as she heard his voice in her ear. "Waitin' for me, m'dear?"

"It's about time." She laughed softly. "I thought you'd dropped me off with your Ma and ran." Grinning, she turned to face Connor and her eyes widened as she saw it wasn't him. Strange eyes stared back into her own and she let out a scream as she pushed him away.

Sara hit the floor before she realized she'd pushed too hard and lost her balance. His voice had sounded so much like Connor's! Laughter floated around her and as she stood up quickly, she found herself looking into the real Connor's face. He put his hands on her shoulders and his mouth was spread into a grin.

"Ye meetin' another man here, m'dear?"

Feeling the annoyance swarm through her, she pushed him away. "What the fuck was that? Who is that?" Her eyes landed on the man in question, who stood watching them with a smile of his own.

"Sara, I'd like ye ta meet me cousin, Aidan. Everyone's been sayin' for years that we sound just alike. What do ye think?"

"I think you're an asshole."

"It was my idea." Aidan stepped forward, the twinkle still in his eyes and held out his hand. "We used ta do it ta our girls all the time. And when I heard Conn here had a new girl, I had ta do it."

Sara studied him for a moment, and found that as the fear faded, so did the annoyance. She could see the humor in the situation, even if she could still feel the throbbing in her knee where it hit the floor.

"I'll forgive you." She offered, shaking his hand and then turned to face a sheepish looking Connor. "But you don't get off so easily."

"Sorry." He gave her a small smile.

"Is that all you've got?"

Narrowing his eyes slightly, he grinned and put his hands around her, dipping her in his arms. His lips met hers sweetly and she felt him smile against her before he finally broke the kiss. "Do ye forgive me now?"

"Connor Nolen! Ye'll be takin' that kind of behavior out o' me pub." The shout was high and Sara felt him laugh as he brought her back up. His body met her stomach and she was up over his shoulder. Slapping her hands on his back, she found herself giggling too hard to speak.

"In a hurry for somethin', Conn?" Murphy's voice made them stop and she managed to catch her breath enough.

"Put me down!" She slapped her palm against the middle of his back again. The room tilted upright again as her feet met the floor and he put his arm around her.

His expression was that of a little boy denied his favorite game. "No caveman?"

"Christ, Connor. Later." Her laughter bubbled out again as he grinned widely.

"I'll be takin' ye up on that. But first, ye've got ta meet me family."

"I don't know if I can handle anything worse than you."

Murphy ducked closer and laughed. "Then ye better prepare yerself. We've only had twenty-eight years ta get this bad. And we're the youngest o' the cousins. It only gets worse from here."

She was led by Connor back up to the bar and the talking and laughter surrounded them as he ordered a few drinks. And as Sara glanced around, she was reminded briefly why she preferred her small quiet family. And she wondered how long it was going to take for her to get used to this family. To Connor's family.


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N: Titled 'Chapter 48'. Isn't that creative:) Short but sweet. More being served soon!**

It'd been only ten minutes since Murphy had left her at the bar for his latest round to talk to everybody but Katie felt herself starting to drag more and more. The noise of the bar around her surrounded her and for once, she wanted nothing more than to get away from it. And to lie down. The cot in the back room was looking more and more welcoming as time crawled on.

"Christ, Katie." His hand warmed her back and she opened her eyes again to find him leaning close. "Ye look half past tired. Why didn't ye just tell me you were ready ta go?"

"You looked so happy. I couldn't make you leave yet."

"I am happy. I'm home. Back in fuckin' Ireland, finally. But that doesn't end at midnight."

She smiled slowly, nodded to the clock over Ma's head behind the bar. "That's good since it's now 12:15."

"And an hour later than I should've kept ye waitin' on me." Murphy pressed a kiss to her temple and slid an arm around her, supporting her as she slid off of the stool. He took the glass of diet coke from her hand and narrowed his eyes at it before raising an eyebrow at her. "Do I need ta test this one too?"

"Murph."

"Ye already had one tonight. Who says ye won't try it again?" He just laughed as she glared at him.

"I wasn't alone in getting it. _Your_ cousin snuck that screwdriver over for me."

"Desmond just felt sorry for ye. He knows from experience that a bar isn't as fun without the fuckin' alcohol." Guiding her toward the door, he tugged on Connor's shirt from behind. Connor glanced around, grinning when he saw them.

"Joinin' the party?"

"Headin' home. Ye comin' with us?"

Nodding, Connor downed the rest of his beer. "Just let me grab Sara. I think Aunt Lucy's still talkin' ta her." He ran his palm over Katie's head as he moved past them and she just laughed, leaning her face against Murphy's shirt.

Sleep was beginning to overwhelm her as Murphy said his goodbyes and she managed to only smile and nod in the few responses she felt required to give. The faces of all of their friends, family and neighbors had begun to blur together early on in the night and she wondered just how long it would take her to get the important ones straight.

The cold night air did little to wake her up. The old car's engine rumbled to life after a few false starts, and the last thing Katie remembered was the feeling of Murphy reaching over her to buckle her seatbelt.

* * *

Sara lay quietly in the twin bed on the far side of the room and listened to Connor try to fumble around in the dark. As soon as they'd walked in the door, he'd taken one look at her and guided her up to the room they'd be staying in. She glanced around the room and in seeing double of nearly every piece of furniture; she assumed this was the twins' old bedroom.

After Murphy had gotten the still sleeping Katie settled in the guest bedroom, both McManus brothers disappeared back down the stairs. And she'd waited for him to come back, forcing herself to stay awake. Over a half hour had passed before she heard the door open again. The soft sound of his breathing caressed her ears and she found that she was smiling despite her annoyance.

"It's past curfew, Connor Nolan!" She saw the outline of him jump as she spoke and hear the quiet roll of his laughter.

"I thought ye would be long since asleep."

"I never slept well the first night of camp either."

He chuckled again softly. "Ye stay on the boy's side often?"

"Is that an invitation?"

"Sure. Get in yer rowboat and come on over." The rustle of sheets being pulled back followed his words and she grinned. The carpet was threadbare beneath her feet but his bed was soft as she slid in beside him. His arm was warm around her body and she nestled against him, sighing.

"Know any good campfire songs?"

"'fraid I don't." He brushed his lips over her temple, his fingers making a circle beneath the fabric of her night shirt. "Wanna make out?"

"Sure." She turned quickly in his arms and felt his leg hook around her, bringing her even closer as his lips met hers. He tasted like Guinness and smoke, and most of all, like Connor. The rough pads of his fingers found the sensitive skin of her hips and she laughed breathlessly against his mouth.

"What?" He whispered softly, kissing her again.

"We'll never be able to come back to camp if they find out."

His laughter vibrated through her and she saw his eyes sparkle in the dark. "I always loved a rebel."

"My dad's gonna be so mad." She grinned as he laughed again and felt the delightful pull deep inside her as he pulled her up on top of him. His hands were quick to slip the night shirt off of her and she lost herself in his kiss again.

* * *

Murphy slipped into the double bed smoothly, working hard to keep it from moving too much. Her form was stretched out peacefully and she showed no sign of waking as he lay on his side to face her. However, he couldn't resist brushing the hair off of her face and her eyes blinked open at the touch.

"Murph?"

"Shh. Go back ta sleep, a chumann." The Gaelic endearment slipped out without him even thinking about it and he grinned as he realized it was so natural to speak the old language in their house. He was home.

She gave a long sigh and shifted closer to him, her eyes opening up again. "What's that mean?"

"Old shoe." He chuckled and caught her hand as she hit in the chest. Running his fingers over her knuckles, he kissed her lightly. "It means sweetheart."

Her lips met hers for another kiss and as he shifted to lie on his back, her head moved to rest on his chest. Murphy traced his finger down her spine and smiled again as she batted his hand away. He settled for resting his hand on the small of her back and felt her relax against him.

"Welcome home." Her voice was soft, sounding nearly half asleep. He felt the tightness in his chest as he fought the surprising emotions at her simple words.

"It's yer welcome home too, if ye want it ta be."

"You've kind of become my home, Murph."

"Then welcome home, Katie." He brushed his hand down her hair. "I love ye."

"I love you, too." The words were barely a whisper and by the slow breathing that followed, he knew she'd fallen asleep again. Closing his eyes, Murphy smiled as he welcomed his dreams. After all, they were in Ireland. Nothing could touch them now.

* * *

The house was quiet as Da opened the door for her and his hand touched the small of her back to guide her inside. Ma fought against the nearly overwhelming emotions that came with that simple gesture and she silently reminded herself that she had to be strong. He'd been gone for way too long to start things up again. That chapter of her life was over. _Pat's the fuckin' father o' me children, and me friend. Nothin' more._

Slipping off her coat, she hung it over the kitchen table chair and offered a smile at him. "It's a bit too quiet in this house."

"They must all be sleepin' already. Even yer Murph was startin' ta drag. And ye know what that means."

"Now don't be blamin' him on me. He's yer Murph as much as he's mine. He got that energy from your side o' the family. Remember Sibeal at that age?" Ma poked him in the chest and he took her hand in response, a quiet smile on his face.

"Aye, that I could never forget. Ye used ta beg me ta get him drunk or ta get 'im gone. Somethin' ta shut 'im up after ye'd been up all night with the twins."

"And ta nobody's surprise, ye picked drunk half the time."

"Damn right. A bit more fun than makin' him leave. More o' a fuckin' sport." Da laced his fingers through hers, his eyes on their hands. "I've missed quite a fuckin' lot, haven't I, Annabelle?"

Her heart skipped a beat as his eyes raised to meet hers and she barely managed to force herself to keep his gaze. "Ye're back now. And ye'll be missin' no more."

His eyes searched her face for a long moment before he dipped his head slightly in a nod. "Not a second more." His words were soft and he kissed her temple with a sigh before giving her a gentle shove toward the bedroom. "G'night, m'belle."

Ma stood a moment longer, watching as he pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and sat down slowly. Even though the years had been kind to him, her heart still ached as she saw the signs that he had aged. That he was older. And it just served as yet another reminder that he'd been gone for so long. His eyes rose to meet hers and he smiled fully now.

"Go ta bed. Ye look half asleep."

"Night, Pat." Smiling back, she turned away and found it was still hard to take a deep breath. He was in her house. Their house. He was home. And while the nerves in her stomach jumped at the possibilities of what that could mean, her mind continued to focus on only one thing. He'd taken her heart with him when he'd left that day more than twenty five years before. He'd taken her heart and she'd never really gotten it back. And she knew now that couldn't afford to give him anything more.

* * *

The daylight had seeped in through the windows, waking Sara in the early morning hours. Morning seemed different here. Slower. Even the sun seemed to rise hesitantly, as if it were afraid to arrive without warning. The rays crept across the floor changing from the deep pinks and oranges to the light yellow as she watched.

It was different in the city. Everything moved faster and it seemed that in a space of less than a minute, the sun had popped out over the top of the neighboring building without a warning, purposely catching those still sleeping of guard. As if it was a game to wake unsuspecting citizens with a slap of sunlight.

The room was fully lit by the time she felt Connor begin to stir behind her and she smiled as she felt his clumsy kiss at the back of her neck. "Mornin'"

"Good morning." Grinning, she turned to face him. The sleepy look in his eyes drew her to him and she had to force herself not to get lost in him again as she kissed him. Running her thumb over the new stubble growth around his chin, she smiled again. "You know what I want to do?"

"What?" His eyes were half closed again and his arms pulled her closer to him.

"Let's go outside. I don't want to see my first Irish morning pass through a window."

An eyebrow raised and he smiled slowly. "Are ye sure ye shouldn't be with Murph instead o' me? The two o' ye have a lot more in common."

"Connor." She tapped her fingers lightly against his ribs and felt him move away in response. She'd found his ticklish spot again, without even trying. "Connor."

"What?"

"Come for a walk with me."

"No." He pulled her in even closer, resting his chin on her shoulder and faked snoring sounds. Sara's arms went around him instantly and she fought laughter as she tried to pull back to look at him.

"Please?"

"Sleep. Yer Irish mornin'll be there tomorrow, m'dear."

"Connor." She sighed it this time, and his only response was to bury his face further into her shoulder. Rolling her eyes, she pushed away from him and slipped out of the bed as his arms opened. "Fine. Than I'll go alone."

The room was silent as she opened up her suitcase. Pulling a pair of jeans, she found a bra and a long sleeved t-shirt to wear. It was only as she sat down on the opposite bed to put her shoes on that she realized he was now fully awake, and watching her.

"What?"

Connor sighed lightly and smiled as he pulled the covers off of him. "Gimme a minute."

"I can go alone. You can sleep in."

"Not a good idea."

"Afraid I'll get lost?" She teased and he just gave her a laughing look.

"Nope. I'm afraid ye'll find yerself a highlander and never come home."

"Aren't highlanders Scottish?"

He laughed softly, buttoning his own jeans as he shot her a grin. "Aye, but with yer sense o' direction, ye'll likely ta end up in Scotland." Pulling an old sweater out of the closet, he looked at it closely before shrugging and putting it on.

After he'd gotten his boots on, Connor took her hand and pulled toward the door. "Let's go see ye a good Irish mornin', Sara."

He'd led her directly into the wooded area that surrounded the south end of town and started behind the McManus's house. His voice was soft as he told her of the games he and Murphy would play in those woods with their cousins long before they'd left for the States. She could hear the smile in his voice without actually looking at his face and she realized that for the first time she was really getting to see that part of him. Was getting to see the pure side of Connor. The side still untouched by blood and vengeance.

The sun was settled much higher in the sky as they headed back to the house and she found herself growing more nervous with each step. Her mind was racing and her heart was thumping as she stopped near the woods edge and raised her eyes to his. Searching his face for a second, Sara dropped his hand and pulled away from him, away from his touch. Away so she could think.

She paced nervously across the leaves and sticks and she felt Connor's eyes following her every step.

"What the fuck is goin' on, Sar?" His voice was soft and she smiled slightly as she noticed that he had picked up on Katie's nickname for her.

"Nothing, I…" The nerves spun in her belly and she forced a deep breath as she faced him. "I just am figuring some things out here."

"Like what?"

"Coming here, seeing you here. Walking with you _here. _ Made me realize something." She took what she hoped would be a calming breath. "This is the real you."

"Aye, what else would it be?" He furrowed his eyebrows as he stepped closer.

Sara wondered how she could explain without going into details. She still hadn't told Connor about her past, about why she was skittish. And it wasn't something she wanted to get into now. So she just shrugged. "I was afraid the man I loved somehow wasn't the real you."

"Like Greg." It was barely a whisper but as her eyes darted to his, he held her gaze. She nodded, shocked.

"How do you know about that?"

"I've know. Since before New York. Katie-"

"Told you. Fuck, should've known." Raising her hand to her forehead, Sara let out a sigh and put out her other hand to stop him as he moved forward. "It doesn't matter. I'm glad you know."

"I'm not Greg, Sara."

"I know that." She choked out a half laugh; the emotions rising in her chest brought a lump to her throat. "I know that."

"What's wrong?" Connor stepped forward again and his simple touch to her shoulder nearly made her lose the courage she was working so hard to build. It suddenly seemed to clear to her. Now she just needed to find the words to say it to him.

"I love you, Connor."

His eyes narrowed and he put his other hand on her other shoulder, turning her to face him. "I love ye too, Sara. Now what the fuck's goin' on here?"

"No, no. I mean. I really love you. More than I've loved anyone. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." The words seemed to stumble out and she wished that she'd been born with a smoother tongue. With a quicker wit. Speaking had never been her best talent.

But the smile on his face was quick and his hands squeezed her shoulders lightly as his lips found hers. The kiss was sweet, almost unbearably sweet and Sara fought against the temptation to just savor the moment. To leave the rest for later. This was enough, right? She knew the answer to that even before the question had been swept away as Connor deepened the kiss. It was more than enough. And at the same time, it wasn't quite enough. Yet.

As his arms pulled her into a tight hug, she pressed her face into his shoulder and took another deep breath. "Connor?"

"Humm?" His chin moved down to touch her shoulder, moving his ear close to her mouth.

"Connor? Will you marry me?"

The words seemed to float between them for a moment before they seemed to impact and Sara found herself staring into his deep blue eyes as his hands cupped her face.

"What'd ye say?"

"I said." She swallowed hard, feeling the tears trip and fall down her cheeks and she offered him a weak smile. "I said, will you marry me?"

His lips spread slowly into a smile as his eyes jumped over her face to study her for a long moment. A kiss brushed against her cheek as she felt herself being swung in the air. His laughter echoed from the trees and she found herself joining in despite the growing dizziness. The branches above them continued to spin as he set her down but the spark from his kiss grounded her as he pulled her to him.

A few long moments passed before she broke the kiss and grinned up at him. "So, are you going to answer me?"

"Ye've done this all backwards, m'love. Ye're supposed ta be answerin' the question."

Laughing softly, she shook her head, her eyes still studying his. There was a sparkle there as she grinned. "Than ask the question, Mr. McManus."

His expression grew more serious as he cupped her face with his palm, running his thumb down her cheek. After giving her another soft kiss, she felt him pull away from her. And Sara's heart skipped a beat as he lowered himself down to one knee.

Taking her hand in his, Connor's gaze was on the ground before his eyes found hers again. And she was surprised to see there was more than a sparkle glistening in his eyes. "I've loved ye Sara. Longer than ye've known. Longer than I've even known." He swallowed hard but his gaze never moved. "Ye've been the answer ta me prayers and the woman o' me dreams. Sara, will ye marry me?"

"Yes." She spoke the word so softly that she wasn't sure if it'd come out. But by the smile on his face as he stood back up and put his arms around her, she knew he'd gotten the message. Her heart slowed as she rested her cheek against his chest and she tightened her arms around him. There was little question in her mind anymore. This was where she belonged. It was where they belonged.


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: Finally... **

The stillness of the woods through his window held Connor's attention again. He could still see the spot where Sara had said the words he was still having trouble believing. She wanted to become his wife. And even with the reactions of his family fresh in his memory, it still hadn't completely hit him. He was getting married.

A quiet knock on his door made him break his stare from the woods, and turning, Connor found a still smiling Murphy leaning against the door frame. They exchanged a long look before his brother moved to stand beside him at the window.

He'd expected a typical loud, almost manic Murphy reaction to their news. Instead, his brother had been quietly beaming, holding him in a tight embrace before kissing Sara on both cheeks and twirling her around a few times in laughter. His only words had been to welcome her to the family.

Their Ma had unexpectedly burst into tears at the news, inducing all three McManus men to move to her quickly and she held on to them all in turn. Da had simply teased her about her tears as she moved on to hold Sara tightly for a long moment before asking her if she was sure she wanted to join their crazy family.

"She fuckin' caught ye off guard, didn't she?" Murphy's voice broke his thoughts and Connor grinned.

"What gives ye that idea?"

"The deer in the fuckin' headlights look ye still got in yer eyes."

Crossing his arms over his chest, he gave his brother a closer look. "It's that obvious?"

"Katie thought ye'd been plannin' it. So not obvious ta everybody."

"I didn't dare ta fuckin' hope it yet, Murph. I didn't even say it to ye, thinkin' she'd walk away the moment I even played with the idea o' it."

Murphy smiled widely for a moment before nudging him. "Did ye cry when she got down on her knee for ye?"

"Shut yer fuckin' trap. I was the one on me knee. She just mentioned the idea first, that's all." Connor attempted to glare over at him but couldn't when he saw the smile still planted on his twin's face.

"Doesn't matter how it happened. I'm happy for ye, Conn" Murphy hooked his arm over Connor's neck and pulled him into a headlock, rubbing his knuckles into his hair. "Ye'll make 'er a great wife!"

Letting go, Connor grabbed for his brother but missed him. Murphy's chuckles echoed through the hallway and he just sighed, turning back to the window with a grin. "Yeah, ye better fuckin' run."

"Should I run too, then?" Sara raised an eyebrow at him from the doorway, his old robe pulled tightly around her.

"Nope, ye're not gettin' too far. But it could be a fun game." He wagged his eyebrows at her. Laughing, she just gave him a look.

"Let me at least get dressed first."

"Well, o' course. But only ta make the game fair for ye."

Crossing her arms, she pursed her lips at him. "I'd outrun you any day, Connor."

"Oh really." He stepped closer, running his hands down the worn terry cloth that covered her arms. "Guess I'll just have ta spend the rest of me life chasin' ye."

Sara smiled slowly before kissing him. Her arms slid up around his neck. "So no regrets?"

"What? Are ye fuckin' serious? O' course not." Connor stared down at her for a moment, more than shocked at her words. The questions were still there, he saw. Still lingering despite the love he so desperately tried to show her. And he wondered just how long he'd be fighting that war.

He kissed her on the forehead and on the tip of her nose before pressing his lips to hers for a moment. Tilting his head, he smiled down at her. "Okay, one reget."

Her eyes widened as she waited warily. "Yeah?"

"That I didn't think o' it first. But I'll make that up ta ye." Connor just grinned down at her as she hit him lightly in the arm.

"Don't do that to me!"

"Than don't ask me stupid questions."

Sara gave him a long look before giving in and smiling back. "You know what I like about you, Conn?"

"What?"

"That you can't even be a jerk when you try." She turned her back to him and slipped the robe off to get dressed.

"Ye know what I like about you, Sara?"

"What?" Her answer was muffled as she pulled the shirt over her head.

"That ye look even better with that ole robe o' mine off than ye do with it on."

"Than it's too bad for you I just showered. Keep working on your compliments, honey. You'll get better." She zipped up her jeans and patted him on the cheek with a grin.

Wrapping his arms around her, Connor pulled her in closer to him, kissing the spot behind her ear and loving that she melted even just a little in his arms. Her laughter filled the room as he kept kissing further down her neck and she finally wiggled out of his arms.

Pointing a finger at him, her cheeks were a little flushed as she laughed again. "No. I've got to go talk to your Ma now. Something about wedding ideas."

"We just got engaged." He shook his head. "How can ye be plannin' a weddin' already?"

"If your Ma had her way, we'd be married in two weeks."

"Two weeks it is, than." Connor moved in again to put his arms around her, but Sara moved out of his way, opening the door instead.

"No, two weeks is too soon. There is far too much to do before we have a wedding." Flashing a quick smile at him, she left the room.

Returning to his place at the window, Connor found himself grinning again. Wedding plans. His Ma and Sara were already making wedding plans. Christ, he hadn't planned for a wedding. He only wanted a fucking marriage.

His eyes fell on that spot at the edge of the woods again, and he realized just how much that one moment had changed things. When he woke up this morning, he really only wanted to hold on to Sara and to keep sleeping. And maybe a little morning sex later on. And now. Christ, now she was planning their fucking wedding.

Rubbing a hand over his face, he realized that there was something was missing. He hadn't had a chance to think of anything of this before now. And Connor's eyes widened as he realized what hadn't be mentioned. With a grin, he headed to the guest bedroom. This was something he needed Murphy's help on.

* * *

Murphy stretched his arms above his head and grinned up at the ceiling. Things hadn't felt this right since…well, in a fucking long time. They were home. And Connor was getting married. He hadn't considered that this day would ever come. Not that he considered his brother unmarriageable, but it was Conn.

Closing his eyes, he sighed. He wondered if his brother realized what this meant. What this could mean. Marriage had never been in the cards while they'd been the saints. Hell, two weeks later was never planned, much less a lifetime commitment. It was their second chance. And he had to make sure his brother knew that.

The sound of knocking on the door made him sit up and he raised his eyebrows at the sight of his brother leaning against the door. "Ye daydreamin'?"

"Thinkin'. Works better with closed eyes."

"About?"

"Second chances."

Connor stared at him for a long moment before pressed his lips together and nodding. "Aye. Hadn't thought about it that way yet."

"Ye've hardly had a fuckin' chance ta think that way."

"I also didn't get a chance ta get a ring, Murph. Will ye come with me ta get it today?"

Murphy laughed softly, enjoying the goofy grin on his brother face almost as much as the thought of helping him pick out a ring entertained him. "Ye sure ye don't want ta take Katie? She might know more about that stuff."

"No, I need her ta keep Sara occupied today. Unless ye'd rather have that job."

"Newly engaged shoppin' trip. Not fuckin' likely."

"Good. Than ye're free ta come with me. And Katie can take her." Connor jumped slightly when Katie spoke up from behind him.

"I can take who where?" She crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Sara. Shoppin'. Or whatever it is ye do. Murph's with me today."

"Okay. Why?"

Grinning at his brother's obvious discomfort, Murphy slid off the bed. "We have a special mission today."

"I haven't gotten her a fuckin' ring yet, Katie." Connor sighed, glancing behind him to make sure the hallway was still empty.

She smiled slowly up at him. "So it really wasn't planned, was it?"

"Told ye, Katie." Murphy caught her hand as she half-hearted tried to hit him.

"Congratulations, again, Conn. I really am happy for both of you. No matter how it happened." Connor slid his arm around her to hug her but Katie shook her head. "Not bandaged yet. No hugs." She raised an expectant eyebrow at Murphy who nodded her inside.

"Why don't ye have yer stitches covered?" Connor stepped in after her, looking at Murphy for an answer. But Katie beat him to it.

"Dr. Murphy wanted to see it before I covered it. Which made it extra fun to get dressed." Giving a mock glare at Murphy, her fingers played with the bottom of her shirt.

Raising his hands in surrender, he stepped toward her. "I could've helped ye."

"I'll leave the two o' ye alone." Connor smiled slightly and turned toward the door.

Glancing at her for a moment, Murphy shook his head. "Wait, Conn."

"What?"

"Can ye look at her stitches?"

His brother glanced back, his eyes narrowed and Murphy caught the bit of concern there. "Why?"

"Ye know what they should look like. Ta me it all looks bad."

There was only a brief pause before he nodded and stepped back into the room. Katie's fingers tugged at her shirt as they both stood in front of her.

"Lift yer shirt, Katie." Murphy put his hand on her shoulder, feeling the warmth through the soft cotton of her t-shirt. She raised an eyebrow again.

"Girls gone wild?"

Her tone made him grin despite himself, despite the moment and he just looked at her.

"Ye can wait ta do the flashin' thing at the bachelorette party, Katie." There was a smile in Connor's voice and she fought a second before giving into her own.

"Fine. I guess I can wait." She raised her shirt up just enough for them to see the stitches and Murphy had to fight not to show emotion in his face. She was watching him closely, he knew, and that's why he kept his eyes on the stitches, waiting for someone else to speak first.

Connor leaned over slightly to look closer before glancing up at him. "Looks ta be healin' fine. Christ I've forgotten how ugly these things could be."

"You can't tell me its worst than a cauterized wound." There was slight annoyance in Katie's voice as she lowered her shirt again, but she just looked at the two of them.

"Hate ta break it to ye, m'dear, but it is. Much uglier." Murphy managed a smile as she narrowed her eyes. Connor opened his mouth to speak but she held up her finger at him.

"You say anything about a lollypop, and I'm smacking the both of you."

His brother broke into a grin and she punched him softly in the shoulder. Holding his hands up in surrender, he laughed, which only annoyed her more. "I wasn't goin' ta. I swear."

"Good. Now go help your fiancée with her wedding plans before Ma gets her dream wedding." Katie grinned and Murphy saw the slightly panicked look in his twin's eyes. Connor glanced behind him quickly before shaking his head with a slight sigh.

"How ye feelin' anyhow, Katie?"

"Don't change the subject, Connor. Her dress'll have long sleeves if you don't hurry." Katie rolled her eyes at his blank look and grinned. "It's bad. I promise you."

"I wasn't changin' the subject. Just askin' as someone who cares."

"I'm fine, Connor. Now go."

Rubbing his hand across her hair, he grinned before leaving the room. Murphy couldn't help but notice that his brother headed for the stairs instead of back to their old room. Laughing softly, he raised an eyebrow at Katie. "That true? About Ma's dream weddin'."

"Eh, don't know. But it was fun."

"That was mean." Murphy chuckled as he glanced out the bedroom door again. "And it just makes me realize just how much I love ye. Now let's get ye bandaged."

"Gee, Murph. Those are the words every girl wants to hear." She leaned against him slightly as he slid his arm around her.

"Ye'd rather butterflys and sliver magic dust?"

"I get the option of magic dust, huh?"

"I do aim ta please. Even if I'm just yer stand-in prince charming."

"If you're the stand-in, when do I get to meet the real thing?" She teased him and he just answered it with a grin.

They both feel silent as he taped the gauze over her stitches. Her skin was warm beneath his fingers as he pressed the tape down. And her sigh was so soft he almost didn't hear it. When he glanced up at her, she just smiled slightly.

"I miss this, Murph."

Giving her a long look, Murphy finally shook his head. "Miss what?"

"This." She guided his fingers to her skin. "I miss your touch. I'm not breakable, Murph."

The lump in the back of his throat was an odd mixture with the sudden jump of need in his gut. Running his thumb along the smooth skin over her ribs, he kissed her softly before leaning his forehead against hers. "Ye're not breakable, Katie. But ye're not ready either."

She was silent for a moment before nodding once. "I know. I just…"

"Just what?"

"I…I just hate this, Murph." Her eyes wouldn't meet his and there was a tightening in his chest as he drew her into his arms. Katie buried her face into his shoulder and he slipped his hands underneath her shirt, his fingers drawing circles into the soft skin of her back as he held her tighter.

Murphy leaned his chin on her shoulder and closed his eyes against the enormous amount of comfort just holding her gave him. She was the root of his life now, the constant he never wanted to let go of. And his eyes opened again as a thought occurred to him.

"Katie, is that all that's botherin' ye?"

She raised her face from his shoulder and tilted her head up at him. "What do you mean?"

"Is there anythin' new that upset ye today?"

"Today? What…" Smiling slightly, she leaned her head against his chest again. "Why would Sara and Connor getting in engaged upset me?"

Murphy was quiet for a moment, adjusting his hold on her only slightly as he put his words together. "I just didn't know if it bothered ye that they were…and that we aren't." The words were out and she was silent for a long moment before laughing softly up at him.

"You were worried about that, weren't you?"

Her reaction wasn't giving him any answers, so he just shrugged in response. "It kinda just occurred ta me."

"Don't take my words the wrong way, Murph, but I don't have the need to be married like Sara does. She needs that solid sign of commitment. I don't yet."

"Yet?"

"I do want to marry you someday, Murphy. But not tomorrow."

Her smile kept him silent and after another long moment, she stilled in his arms. "You do want to marry me, right?"

Murphy gave into the laughter and he nodded as she raised an eyebrow up at him. "Aye, I do. I just didn't plan ta tell ye that way."

"Well obviously, we can't wait for you McManus boys to get anything done."

"Why don't ye want ta marry me yet?"

She let out a few soft laughs into his chest before looking back up at him again. "Because I love this so much that I don't feel the need to rush it. I want to enjoy every stage with you. I feel no need to rush to the alter."

Smiling down at her, he kissed her softly, trailing his lips up her cheek to her temple. Katie gave another soft sigh and Murphy was beginning to figure out that that sigh was a good thing. Pressing his lips together, he kissed the top of her head.

"So, what? We thinkin' another year?"

"Fishing, Murphy?"

"Just gettin' an idea. Apparently we McManuses are bad with the fuckin' timelines."

"Than it's a good thing you're just that good at everything else." Katie grinned up at him and Murphy felt his heart skip a beat before he lost himself into another long, soft kiss.

* * *

Sara drained her cup of coffee and smiled at Ma again. Connor's Ma had seemed so intimidating to her originally. She raised both of the twins virtually alone, and that was enough to make her seem twenty feet tall. And then there was Ma's bigger than life personality.

But Sara was figuring out there was a secret to every one of the McManuses that not everybody knew straight on. Despite their cursing, their drinking and smoking and loud ways of making their opinions known, their big hearts lead them into everything they did. She was marrying into a family of saps.

And the sappiest one of them all sat in front of her, her eyes aglow as she showed Sara the pictures of her and Da's own wedding.

"Now ye see, Sara. Quite a lot can be done ta dress our ole church up. It's a beautiful place ta have a weddin'. But only if that's where ye want ta have it." Ma smiled widely at her, before leaning back and giving a loud laugh. "No 'ere I am, pressurin' ye inta a certain type o' weddin'. Just like Pat's Ma did ta me. I'm just here fer ideas, lass. Ye don't have ta listen ta a word I'm sayin'."

Grinning, Sara wondered again how such a sweet woman came off as intimidating to her. "This is where Conn's roots are. I only promised my mom I'd get married in a church. So I think your church sounds perfect."

"Ye were just a lass when ye last yer Ma, weren't ye Sara?"

She looked up from the pictures again to see Ma's gaze on her. Sara forced herself to shrug off the old familiar emotions as she nodded.

"I was twelve. We had six months after she got the diagnosis. She made her last wishes very clear to me." She found it easy to laugh about it, and saw a smile appear on Ma's face. "Of course, not all of the wishes were logical. I highly doubt I'll ever get to meet the Pope. But she wished that if I got a chance that I would."

Tapping her fingers against the rough wood of the table, Sara gave another short laugh. "I don't even think Connor knows."

"A part o' him knows. Even if ye've never talked about it." Ma paused, tapping the end of her cigarette into the ashtray. "What about the rest o' ye family?"

"Well, Katie and Peter are my family now."

"And yer Da wasn't in the picture then?"  
"No, he was the whole picture for me. But his car got hit by a drunk driver when I was 18. I think that's why Katie and I bonded so well that year. My pain was only a little bit rawer than hers."

Ma's hand covered her own, squeezing gently and Sara looked up to find Ma watching her closely again. "Ye've been shaped by them, Sara. Ye've been shaped by havin' in your life and by lovin' them. And each day that ye live yer own life, ye're makin' their dreams come true for ye."

Blinking against the rush of emotion her words brought to her, she just put her hand over Ma's hand and smiled.

"How are the wedding plans coming?" Katie's voice was cheerful but she stopped short as she entered the kitchen. Sara wanted to laugh as curiosity and politeness warred across her friend's face. "Sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt anything."

"I just told her about my mom and dad."

"Ahh…" Katie murmured slightly and her fingers found their way to worry the bottom of her t-shirt.

"Ye're welcome ta join us, lass." Ma's smile brought her closer and Sara wanted to laugh with the semi-awkwardness of the moment.

"Where are the guys?"

Katie smiled fully then. "Gone."

"What do you mean gone?"

"As in poof. They've gone to take care of a few things. I'm to distract you until they get back."

"They ditched the two o' ye?" Raising an eyebrow, Ma took another drag of her cigarette.

"Not ditched so much as left quickly for some important shopping."

Sara caught the wink that Katie sent to Ma and she let out a half laugh. "You're telling me they chose to go shopping?"

"They knew they needed to. Connor realized something was missing."

"He's gone to get me a ring, hasn't he?"

"He proposed without a ring?" Ma scuffed. "And here I thought I'd raised me boys properly."

"Us getting engaged wasn't exactly planned." Sara laughed. "It just sort of happened. But I can't believe they ditched us. What are we supposed to do until they get back?"

"Sara. Think about it."

She narrowed her eyes at Katie. "What?"

"We're in Ireland, Sar. It is really so hard to think of what to do?"

"The two o' ye might want to hit the local tour spots today. As me boys'll refuse ta take ye there."

Katie nodded in agreement. "I figured that much. Let's go play tourist."

"Ma, will you give us a list of the must-sees?" Sara caught her friend's gaze and they shared a long grin. It had been so easy to forget. But they were finally in Ireland.

* * *

It was when Connor sighed for the sixth time in a minute that Murphy finally cleared his throat and leaned down beside his brother. "What exactly are ye lookin' for?"

"Fuckin' don't know."

"A ring, Conn. How hard can it be ta find a fuckin' ring?"

"Christ, Murph. That's what I thought too until I saw all of these. Who knew there where this many options with fuckin' rings."

Murphy found himself joining in on his brother's seventh sigh as they both peered down through the now smudged glass. "Somethin' simple, right? Sara's a simple girl, right?"

"Aye, Murph. And that's how I'll fuckin' present it ta her. A fuckin' simple ring fer a simple girl."

"Fuckin' Christ. Just choose one already."

"If it were that fuckin' simple, don't ye think I'd've done it already?" Connor stood up completely, rubbing his hand through his hair and closing his eyes. "Think she'd mind pickin' it out herself?"

"Somethin' tells me that wouldn't go over much better than the simple girl plan. Hey, grab this guy. He can fuckin' help us." Keeping his voice low, Murphy nodded at the older jeweler who made eye contact with them finally. The jeweler smiled warmly and stepped closer to them.

"Can I help with somethin', lads?"

"Engagement ring, please." Their voices rang out in union and Connor glanced over at his brother slightly as the jeweler just smiled.

"Which o' ye is lookin'?"

"I am." Connor leaned against the glass and stood up again quickly as the jeweler waved him off of the display case.

"I'm just helpin' him."

"A lot o' bloody help ye've been too."

"Well, then, boys. We are type o' girl are ye looking ta propose to?"

Connor raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I'll help me figure out what kind o' ring she'd like. Unless ye already had one in mind."

"She's blonde." Murphy spoke up first and received another look from Connor for it.

"Ye're a great help, Murph." His brother's words were sarcastic and Connor's hand rubbed over the back of his head again. "She's smart, sweet. She writes for a magazine."

Murphy cleared his throat. "She's sophisticated. She's a nice girl but ye can tell that she really knows what she's doin'." Connor grinned at him this time before nodding.

"She sounds like a keeper." The jewelry smiled again, his eyes fixed on the rings in the case below them. He pursed his lips for a moment before pulling out a row of rings. Locking the case again, he set the rings on the counter and glanced up at Connor. "See anything ye like here?"

The lack of sighs as his brother looked at the few rings in front of them told Murphy they just might escape the store sooner than he'd thought. Connor's elbow hit nudged him slightly and he saw him pointing to the one on the end.

"What do ye think?"

"Perfect." He grinned as his twin let out a sigh.

"Murphy."

"I think it's a nice ring. And that's all that'll matter ta yer girl when ye give it ta her."

Another sigh came from Connor. "Alright then. I'll take that one."

"Wonderful choice, lad."

Smiling at the prospect of freedom, Murphy put his hands in the pockets of his coat and paced slightly toward the door. But his fingers closed around the metal in the depths of the pocket and he pursed his lips before turning back around. With a sigh, he stepped forward.

Preparing himself for the possible onslaught of selection, he moved back to the counter and shrugged at Connor's raised eyebrow. "One more thing before we go.

* * *

Their day had been exhausting but full of fun and embarrassing pictures of both of them. Katie had been disappointed to find they weren't close enough to find the Blarney stone and kiss it, but there still had been a lot of beautiful ruins to see. And they'd both bought their share of souvenirs. She just hoped the sweater she'd bought Peter would fit him.

Even though the sun hadn't quite set, the lights of the town welcomed them as they passed on through. Katie glanced over at Sara, who still wore a small smile on her face as she steered the car through the south end of town and drove them the half mile out to the McManuses' house

Sara had glowed all afternoon. Through the teasing drizzle and sudden downpour in the early afternoon and even through the chaotic hustle of the rest of the tourists. It almost seemed as if nothing could touch her and nothing could bring her down. And that made Katie realize just how perfect this was for her friend. She'd had questions deep down as to whether it was too soon or not, but the serenity that this decision brought Sara pushed away any possible lingering doubts.

"I don't have to actually ask you to be my Maid of Honor, do I?" Sara grinned as she pulled the car up near the house. Lights glowed from within and Katie wondered if everyone was still home.

"Nope. You don't have a choice. As your best friend, I claimed that position six years ago."

"Good to have that settled." She led the way up to the house, looking back at Katie only as she reached the side door. "Think they have any girl cousins to be the other bridesmaids?"

"I haven't seen a girl McManus by birth yet."

The house was quiet as they reached it, despite the evidence of life inside. Smoke floated out from the living room as Katie walked through and she grinned as she heard the guns blazing from the television. The half dark room was illuminated by occasion blasts of light and she leaned against the door jam.

"Sounds like Rambo."

Murphy grinned over from where he was stretched out, his bare feet crossed on the coffee table. "It's amazin' that ye can identify that when ye claimed ye've never seen the movies."

"I didn't say I hadn't seen them, Murph. I just said I didn't watch them."

"Splitin' hairs. Maybe ye should go inta politics. Now that yer no longer a mafia princess, that is." He just laughed as she made a face and nodded to the couch beside him. "Wanna join me for some gore?"

Sara chuckled from beside Katie, making her look over. "He's a real romantic, isn't he, Kat?"

"That's my Murphy." Katie sighed, smiling despite herself.

"Yer husband-to-be is in the shower. Ye might catch him if ye hurry." He winked at Sara. The sound of water running stopped then, making Murphy grin again. "Nevermind. Too late."

"What's he showering for, Murph?" Katie leaned against the doorway again.

"Personal hygiene. That and we were wantin' ta go to the Anvil if the two o' ye want to."

Sara just smiled and shook her head as she headed up the stairs. "Wow, going to a bar with the two of you. Something new and exciting."

Katie laughed as he raised his eyebrows.

"Are we borin' the two o' ye?"

"Hardly. I think we're both just tired."

Murphy patted the couch beside him, sitting up fully and turning down the volume. Pushing off the wall, she settled in next to him and smiled as he kissed her temple.

"Just tired? Or hurtin'?"

"Murph."

"Fair question, Katie. Just answer it."

"Tired. I swear." She said as he looked at her. "I'm not stupid enough to leave pills behind."

"If ye want ta just hang out here, we can."

"Murphy, I didn't come to Ireland to stay in your house."

"No, but ye didn't leave ta end up in the hospital again either."

Katie glared up at him for a moment before leaning back against him with a sigh. "That's not going to happen."

"Ye damn right it's not goin' ta happen." His voice was soft and she moved her head to look back up at him.

"Compromise?"

"What do ye mean?"

"We can go to the Anvil. Hang out with your family. And come home when we get tired."

He looked down at her for a moment before kissing her lightly. "Fine. But ye better be tellin' me when yer tired this time."

"As if I need to Murph. You tend to know it better than I do."

Murphy opened his mouth to respond but the ringing of a cell phone cut him off. Frowning, he stood up quickly, going to his coat and pulling out a lit up cell phone. Katie reached for the remote and started switching through the channels. There might not be a TLC channel but she'd be damned if she'd spend even part of the evening watching one of Murphy's bloody movies.

* * *

The number was unfamiliar to him, so Murphy answered it quickly, waving at Katie to lower the volume. The loud sound of static greeted him and he tried again. "Hello?"

"McManus?" The stress in Peter's voice was clear as he spoke and Murphy felt his heart start to race as he turned away from Katie.

"Peter?"

"I need ye to do me a favor. Well, actually a few." The sound of wind overpowered the last few words and Murphy pressed the phone closer to his ear.

"What?"

"That's Peter?" Katie's voice came from right behind him and Murphy just shook his head in response and waved her away as he concentrated on Peter's voice.

"Call Smecker and tell him to come to New York. Something's going on here and I don't like it. I've been followed all day and someone just tried to shoot at me."

"What's going on, Peter?"

The loud beat of footsteps echoed in the background and he heard Peter gasp. "Keep Katie safe with you, Murph. There's something big still going on here and I haven't quite figured it out yet."

"Where are ye, Peter? Where should I tell Smecker to go?"

"Fuck! McManus, I've got to go. Shit! Just get Smecker to New York City. I'll take it from there. And keep my sister safe! Fuck, I knew he followed me…" Peter's voice faded and the sound of gunshots followed.

A full second passed before Murphy realized the call had been cut off. Lowering the phone slowly, he raised his eyes to find Katie watching him wide eyed, her hand gripping his other arm.

"What the fuck was that about, Murph?"

"Peter. He needs Smecker in New York." He forced out a sigh and glanced over as a frowning Connor came down the stairs.

"What the fuck were ye yellin' about?"

"What's going on, Murphy?!" Katie's voice had risen in pitch and he chewed on the side of his thumb as he felt his heart trying to burst through his chest. Connor crossed the room in three strides and moved to stand in front of him.

"Murph?"

"We've fuckin' missed somethin'. Or Peter did." His eyes landed on Katie who was already chewing the corner of her lip. And he knew whatever he told her would only make her more concerned. But he also knew he couldn't hold it back. "Someone's after Peter. He said someone had been fuckin' followin' him all day."

"Think the Fertitta's figured out who he was?"

"It's more than that." Murphy kept his eyes on Katie, as it started to sink in. "He called for us to get Smecker to New York. And to make sure we kept his sister safe."

"Sounds like we need ta makin' a trip. I'll go call ta get us some tickets." Connor rested his hand on Katie's shoulder for a moment but her eyes continued to just hold Murphy's gaze. Sighing, Connor left them alone, climbing the stairs two at a time.

"So, we're going back?" There was a tremor in her voice but her eyes remained clear as she stared hard at him.

"No. Conn and I are goin' back. Ye're stayin' right here in fuckin' Ireland. Where I know ye'll stay safe." His words came out harder than he meant for them to be, but the pounding in his ears and the need to do something stopped him from apologizing. There wasn't time for that. And as moved away from her, he wondered if there was even time for them to get there before it'd be too late.

* * *

Katie watched him walk away, his words echoing through her brain and she worked hard not to cry. It'd be so easy. So easy to just break down and to let him handle it. But as her heart pounded and her stomach turned with the sudden worry, she knew there was only one right way for her to do this.

She left the room and climbed the stairs quietly, making her way to the guest bedroom. If they thought they were leaving without her, they were sadly mistaken.

Her bag was heavy on the floor of the closet, but she lifted anyway, ignoring the sharp pain in her side. That kind of pain was good. She could deal with the pain in her side. She knew what was causing it and she knew it would heal.

A lump grew in her throat as she began to load her clothes from the dresser back into her bag. Pain from her stitches had an end to them. A timeline. But the aching in her heart scared her, because she wasn't sure it would ever be over. If she lost Peter…

The sound of footsteps in the door way stopped her thoughts and she managed to breathe back the oncoming tears. She knew it was Murphy without turning around. And she braced herself for the fight she knew was coming.

"What the fuck are ye doin'?"

"Packing. What does it look like?"

"Dammit, Katie. Ye're not fuckin' goin' with us." His voice rose with each word and he pulled the bag from her hands, tossing it toward the closet.

"He's my brother, Murph! I have to go find him, help him!"

"We'll find him. Ye can't go."

The burning behind her eyes was back but she continued to glare at him. "Would you want to be kept from Connor if he had disappeared?"

"That's not the same fuckin' thing?"

"Why not, Murphy? Why not?" The tears came then, filling her voice and her eyes and she wiped them away without breaking eye contact.

"She's goin' Murph. I already got her a plane ticket. We leave for the airport in an hour." Connor's voice came quietly from the doorway and Katie watched the emotions flicker over Murphy's face before he turned and walked out of the room.

There was a silent moment before Connor stepped fully into the room and lifted her bag from where Murphy had thrown it. He set it on the bed in front of her without a word. It was only when he touched her shoulder that Katie finally looked up at him. His eyes were watching her carefully.

"Sara's almost done packin'. She'll be in ta help ye in a minute. Don't ye dare try ta lift that bag. And don't try to do too much, Katie. No sense in hurtin' yerself just ta hurry." He rubbed his hand down her hair before pulling her into a hug. Connor rested his chin on the top of her head for a moment. "We'll find 'im. And we'll take care o' things, mo deirféar"

Katie closed her eyes against his words and kept them closed as he let her go. His footsteps left the room again and she fought for composure. They were going to find him. And he'd said they'd take care of things. Sighing heavily, she opened her eyes and started packing again, ignoring the tears that ran freely down her cheeks. They were going to find him.

* * *

Connor found him outside of the kitchen door, puffing on a cigarette and staring out into the darkness. He let the door close quietly, knowing his twin was well aware of his presence, even if he hadn't acknowledged it yet. Murphy just took another long drag as he leaned against the house beside him. The stillness of his brother was worrying him, so Connor began to prepare himself. 

Finally, after few long minutes, Murphy spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "She compared him ta you."

"What?" Connor blew smoke out to the side and glanced over.

"She said keepin' her from him was like keepin' me from you."

"That's probably how it is, Murph. They've always been close. He's all she fuckin' has."

"I didn't think o' that. I didn't fuckin' consider it."

Connor let out a half laugh. "Murph, ye're not exactly known for ye're thinkin'."

"What?"

"Ye feel things so fuckin' strongly that thinkin' usually just slows ye down."

"And that's why ye do the thinkin' for me?" Murphy smirked slightly before grinding his cigarette into the grass. "It's a wonder we're still fuckin' alive than."

"Go talk ta yer girl, Murph."

Nodding, Murphy put his hand on the doorknob before glancing back over at him. "Thanks, Conn."

"No problem. I always love knockin' a little bit o' sense inta ye."

"No. I mean for goin' along. For once ye're riskin' yer neck for somethin' that doesn't really involve ye."

Connor stared at him for a minute. "Fuck, Murph. O' course it fuckin' involves me. If it touches ye, or yer Katie or Sara, it involves me. So, I'd say this rather fuckin' involves me." Murphy considered that before nodding.

"Ye're right. But thank ye anyways." He gave a small smile before leaving Connor alone in the darkness.

The red of his cigarette glowed as he took one last drag. Grinding it beneath his boot, he stared out into the distance. Fuck if this didn't involve him. He was sick of the fucking mafia coming after his family. This time, those who were guilty would meet the wrath of the Saints. And then they'd send each one o' them to meet his maker.

* * *

**'mo deirféar' means my sister.**


	50. Chapter 50

Their bags were both packed by the time Murphy came back up to their room and without a word, he picked them both into one hand. And with the other, he touched the small of her back, leading her out of the room.

There were times in which Katie couldn't quite figure Murphy out. And this was one of them. But whether or not this was his version of an apology, she was going to take it. If it meant it would get her to New York to find her brother, there was very little she wouldn't do. She could figure things out with Murphy later.

Murphy and Connor loaded the car without speaking, and it seemed that with their nonverbal communication they'd both decided the same thing.

"We're ta stop at the Anvil first to tell Da and Ma what's goin' on." Connor's voice was soft, barely to be heard about the music playing from the radio. He sat in the driver's seat, glancing at Sara who was next to him and then through the rearview mirror at Murphy and Katie who were in the back.

"That's a good idea. They'll be worried otherwise."

"They'll be worried either way. But it's always better ta know." Murphy's tone matched his twin's weariness. He took Katie's hand. It was a simple gesture that nearly brought her to tears and she stared out the window of the car to fight them off.

They could hear the laughter of the Anvil from outside the door as Connor parked the car and both brothers got out quickly. Stepping out of the car, Katie exchanged a somewhat confused look with Sara as they both disappeared inside.

"Why do both of them need to go?"

Shrugging, Sara stepped closer to Katie, leaning against the car next to her. "Maybe so they can each grab a parent."

"How do they decide this stuff? They never said anything about it."

"They're twins, Kat."

Katie rubbed her hand over her forehead. "Yeah, I've heard that rumor."

"Think he's okay?" The words seemed to tumble out of Sara, barely able to be heard above the din of the pub.

There were no tears in Sara's eyes as she looked over, but she could see the fear and the pain. And Katie was reminded again that she was never the only one affected by this. There would always be Sara, whom she'd always hoped would never have to lose anyone else in her life.

All the hopeful answers sounded like bullshit in her mind and she couldn't quite get herself to verbalize the other possibilities, so she stayed silent, answering her friend's question by slipping her arm around her. They leaned against each other and stayed that way even as the doors let the light out into the darkness again.

The sound of thickened accents and cursing stopped as Ma and Da stepped outside and for a moment everybody fell quiet. The McManus's all moved forward and Katie found both she and Sara drawn into the same hug with Ma.

"Me boys'll find 'im. Ye're in good hands with me boys."

"I don't think that's something we could ever doubt, Ma." Katie said as her eyes found Murphy and she realized it was her own way of apologizing. He kept her gaze and nodded once before his eyes wandered away. She could tell from where she stood he was struggling with his own emotions.

Da interrupted her study of Murphy with a quick hug and a kiss to the top of the head. "I wish I could help ye, lass. But I've got ta stay here. Just in case."

"In case of what, Da?" Sara spoke up from beside her and Katie knew she wasn't the only one who caught the twins sharing another look.

"In case this doesn't just involve yer Peter. Just in case." At Connor's words, she heard Sara gasp and Katie found herself nodding. It'd occurred to her. The twins had simply taken it a step further and acted on the thought. Da was to protect their home, their Ireland. Just in case.

"We'll be fine, Da. And we'll call you once we get there." Katie patted his arm, feeling better herself at her words. She could read the frustration in Da's expression and she knew it must be bothering him to not be actively involved.

"Don't ye worry about that. Just concentrate on findin' yer brother, lass."

"Da, there's no reason to worry one family just to find another. We'll call."

"Now the two o' ye girls be listenin' ta me boys." Ma gave them both a stern look, her eyes focused on Katie a moment longer. She thought she caught Connor smirking out of the corner of her eye but his face was turned away when she looked over.

"We will, Ma." Sara nudged Katie, who nodded in agreement.

"Promise me, girls."

"We promise." Katie smiled slightly as she realized just how motherly Ma was looking at them. "We'll behave."

Da put his arm around Ma and nodded at the car. "Ye better get goin', boys."

They all loaded in again without another word. And as they drove away, Katie thought she saw tears on Ma's face. But if anyone else saw them, nobody mentioned them

* * *

Sara concentrated on breathing full breaths, trying to work the knot of fear out of her stomach. The more she tried the less it was successful. A hand touched her shoulder and she started slightly before turning to see that Katie had sat down beside her.

"You okay?"

"Fine. Scared to death for multiple reasons, but fine."

Katie smiled slightly at that as she stared across the terminal to where the boys browsed through the corner store. "You know that we're more likely to be killed by a mad goat than to be killed on this flight, right?"

"Not helping, Kat." Pursing her lips slightly, Sara held the breath for a moment before letting it out. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Katie fidgeting and fought a smile of nerves. Usually she was the only one scared shitless before a flight.

But Katie had good reasons to be afraid. So did Peter, wherever he had disappeared to.

Sara could still see Peter at his academy graduation, looking so grown-up in his uniform. He'd been hungover from the party the night before and his baby face was still showing a hint of the 17 year old quiet kid he'd been when she'd first met him. She loved the kid, the man. And she found herself fighting against the tightness in her chest as she continued her deep breathing. They all had good reason to be afraid.

The flash of silver caused her to look over, and she narrowed her eyes at the cross necklace hanging from Katie's hand.

"What's that?"

"It's a necklace. For you to wear. To keep you safe." She reached out and latched the chain behind Sara's neck, tucking it beneath her shirt.

"What? Where did-?"

"Just shut up and wear it." Katie's smile was real finally, as was the slight annoyance in her voice and Sara grinned in response. "It'll ensure that none of us because part of any statistic involving either a goat or a plane."

"And maybe it'll help us find Peter before-." She stopped and heard Katie sigh in response.

"You don't have to be afraid to say it, Sar. We both know." Raising her hand to rub in a circle at her temple, her friend looked away. "Before it's too late."

There was a short pause between them before Katie got up again. She moved back into her routine of pacing, going on from monitor to monitor and wall ad to wall ad to distract herself. And Sara found her finger tracing the cross beneath the cotton of her shirt as her eyes moved with Katie around the room.

* * *

"Ye talk ta her?"

Murphy pulled his eyes away from the magazine rack to glance up at his brother, raising an eyebrow in response. "What?"

"Did ye talk ta her, Murph? Or did ye just toss her in the car with no fuckin' explanation?"

"Ah…the latter o' the two."

"Fuck. Ye can't have a relationship that way, Murph. Ye've got ta communicate with her." Connor was frowning at him, and Murphy fought a smile as he recognized the expression on his brother's face. _Here comes the fuckin' lecture._

"Now, Conn, just because ye're fuckin' engaged and all doesn't mean ye're an expert on relationships."

"No, but I am an expert on _you, _dickhead. And I'm beginnin' ta think I understand that girl o' yers. Ye've got ta go talk to her."

"Thank ye Captain fuckin' obvious." Murphy grinned in spite of his annoyance, in spite of everything else going on. Know-it-all Connor never failed to amuse him at least a little bit. "I've got it taken care o'"

"Good ta know. Because I'm not lettin' ye lose this one."

"And who have ye let me lose in the past, Conn?" He picked through the magazines again, looking for one that Katie might like.

"Cecelia. Jenny O'Reilly." Connor grinned as he said the last one. And Murphy just shook his head with a smile.

"Fuck, never had Jenny O'Reilly ta begin with. And that all I'm fuckin' sayin' on that."

"Okay, Cecelia than."

"Christ, Conn. She was a great girl but not exactly the love o' me life. Besides, she's the one that said she couldn't deal with a relationship separated by a fuckin' ocean."

Connor plucked the People magazine from Murphy's hand and flipped through it quickly. "I'm the one who pulled ye across that ocean. And this looks like a good choice for her. Ye should get it." He hit him in the side of the head with it before dropping it back into his hand.

As his brother walked up to the cash register, Murphy's eyes followed him. So that's Connor thought. That he'd forced him to go to the States. That he'd forced him into the life they'd had. Fuck if he'd let him continue to think that way.

But out of the corner of his eye, he caught Katie wandering out in the terminal lobby. He could see the tension, the fatigue in her from where he stood. Relieving Connor's mind would have to wait. He had Katie to take care of first. Here and now, she came first.

* * *

Her eyes were glued to the advertisement of a local restaurant when she felt his presence behind her. And it didn't seem strange in the least that she knew it was Murphy right away. He had a certain smell, a certain warmth, a feeling that she got when he was near. And her emotions reacted without her even turning around, the lump reappearing in her throat and the burning beginning at the corner of her eyes.

"Katie." His voice was soft, his accent caressing her name with its lilt and she knew that she never wanted anyone else to be able to say her name that way. She never wanted anyone else, period.

Breathing deeply, she managed to turn without tears as he said her name again. His eyes swept over her face and she knew he'd be able to see past her expressions, past the guard she still kept up, past any barrier. She was naked, vulnerable in front of him and she needed him to be alright with that. And her biggest fear as he stared at her for a long moment is that he would hide from it, pretend not to see it. That he wouldn't be able to accept her in that state.

The stillness in his reaction surprised her. His fingers traced down her hairline, his palm cupping her face. "I know, a ghrà." His voice was barely above a whisper. She watched him swallow hard before his eyes closed and he leaned his forehead against hers. "I know."

He was waiting for a sign from her, something to let him know his comfort was welcome, she realized. And as she slid her arms around him, she melted into his embrace. He mumbled words she couldn't understand and she knew without asking that it was a prayer.

It was only when he grew quiet that she shifted her head against his shoulder and sighed. "I never should have compared him to Connor. I'm sorry."

Murphy raised his head to look at her, his eyes flickering between hers. "He's yer Connor, Katie. I understand that."

"No, Murph, it's not the same. We can't communicate with gestures like you two do. We aren't as close as you two are."

"Ye love 'im, Katie. Ye love him so much that ye wonder if ye can continue ta exist if ye lose him. And that I understand. And that's why I should never have tried ta keep ye from this." His lips met hers for the briefest of moments.

"Think we could convince them to stay?" Katie's eyes wandered over to where Sara leaned against Connor in the seats near their terminal gate.

"Not fuckin' likely. Connor already made it clear that this affected him, too." Murphy shifted so that he kept one arm around her, and lead her toward where the other two sat. "Besides, this could be about the fuckin' Saints, anyhow."

She paused at his words, shaking her head slowly. "I don't think so. Why would they use Peter to get to you?"

"Because o' you." Murphy's answer was simple but just shook her head again.

"That doesn't make sense. You're supposed to be dead. And there are way too many other unexplained things going on here." She stopped short, pulling away from him to face him. "The guy in the alley, the drug in my drink. They're either using me to get to my brother. Or they're using Peter to get to me."

His eyes narrowed on her and Katie knew his mind was starting to sort through the possibilities. But instead connecting the dots with her, Murphy blinked hard and nodded his head toward the terminal seats. "Let's not be jumpin' ta conclusions, Katie. Let's just get there. Then we'll fuckin' decide what's goin' on."

She moved her head in agreement without another word, allowing him to maneuver her closer to their gate, her mind whirling though the details. There was something there, she knew. Something they weren't seeing. And she knew it was something that might cost one of them their lives.

* * *

The flight was long and quiet, landing them in New York City in the early morning hours. Connor had worked to keep Sara calm as the plane took off and they all managed to pass the flight with sleep, he and Murphy both waking up more often than the girls.

And in one of those moments that they both sat awake, his brother had passed over a scrawled list of events starting with the night they found Katie. With a confused look, Connor had glanced over the list before raising his eyes back to his brother. But Murphy was asleep again, his arm around Katie and his head rested back against the seat.

The list had been tucked into his pocket and forgotten again before they landed, Sara coming awake with a jolt as the wheels hit the runway. Her eyes were wide with fear and surprise and Connor had to force himself not to just gather her up in his arms. She was beautiful to him even as she gripped his hand tightly, her eyes focused on the seat ahead of them, her gaze locked in place.

With that thought, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the velvet covered box and set it into her lap. She glanced down slowly, her eyes coming back to his as she saw it. Her hand released its grip on his and she opened the box slowly. The ring winked out at the both of them.

"Now I can ask ye properly. Will ye marry me?"

"It's beautiful, Connor."

"Ye sound surprised." He grinned as she gave a soft laugh.

"Not surprised. Just happy."

Her fingers were steady as she pulled the ring out, and with a smile gave it to him for him to slide on her finger. Taking his hand again, she leaned her head against his shoulder with a soft sigh. The ring looked perfect on her hand, right, almost expected. And he pressed a kiss to the top of her head with another grin.

"Ye didn't answer me question, m'dear."

He heard the smile in her voice as she answered. "You haven't been approved yet."

"We'll see about that." His response was drowned out by the captain's announcement that they could begin leaving the plane.

They moved through the airport silently as a group, the heaviness of why they'd come descending down upon them and Connor kept holding Murphy's gaze in response. They needed to prepare. They needed to act. But they needed a first step.

"Let's go to his apartment, first." Katie spoke up as they reached the pickup/drop-off area and Connor nodded in surprise as he realized it was the best place to start.

Murphy managed to grab them a cab that dropped them in front of the Loft Street apartment in less than a half hour. Both girls hesitated only slightly before leading the way up. Connor pulled down the key from the top of the doorway, unlocking the door without a word. He and Murphy entered together, searching the living room with their eyes before parting to let the girls through.

"He's not here." There was a mixture of relief and fear in Katie's voice but her face remained emotionless as she stepped further inside.

Sara shrugged. "He's probably staying away from his normal places."

Murphy reappeared from the back bedroom, carrying their worn black bags. Connor took his own with a sigh. Unzipping them together, they pulled out their holsters and put them on in unison. Connor put a gun in his jeans against his lower back, pulling down his t-shirt to cover it. It was always go to be heavily armed.

They worked in silence, checking the guns and falling into their pre-strike habits of making sure everything worked. He knew they were being watched but didn't want to take the time to explain. This was their past and they were only revisiting it until they found Peter. Then they were done. There wasn't a need to introduce either Sara or Katie to their actions.

Sara had wandered away as he looked up, searching through her bag with a frown. "Where's my damn purse?" She moved toward the door, her eyes staying away from them. Avoiding them, he realized. And he turned his attention back to Katie with a sigh.

"Here." Connor nudged a gun into Katie's hand, pausing only as he realized she didn't take it. Her eyes were on the plastic handle closer to her and it was a long moment before she raised her eyes and shook her head.

"No."

"Come on, Katie. Ye can do it."

Pressing her lips together, she simply raised her eyes to Murphy who nodded slowly in response. She took a deep breath and pulled the gun handle first from Connor's hand. Her fingers were barely wrapped around it when the door opened, causing them all to jump.

"Peter?" There was hope in her voice, but Connor shook his head.

"Sara? Did ye find it?"

There was a moment of silence as the door opened slowly and Connor felt his heart stop beating and saw the world slow as his eyes found the gun that was held to Sara's head. It didn't matter that he didn't recognize the man behind her and it didn't matter that he was likely to get killed with every plan that sped through his head. And he realized there was nothing he could do that wouldn't get her shot as well. A flash of light caught the ring on her finger and Connor swallowed hard as the world rushed forward again. That was his fiancé with a gun to her head. And there was nothing he could do.

* * *

"Drop your fucking guns."

_New York. Italian._ The descriptors of the man's voice ran through Murphy's head as he leaned forward and tossed his gun a few feet in front of him. The man was obviously mafia. That much he could feel from across the room. And he felt a flash of guilt as he realized that Mafioso's gun was held to the one person's head that had nothing to do with their mafia war whatsoever.

Holding his hands out to show that he had no more weapons, Murphy glanced over at Connor first and then at Katie. His brother's eyes were frozen on Sara, but Connor tossed his gun away quickly. Katie on the other hand, stood still, the gun gripped in her palm. And Murphy knew she didn't even realize it was there.

"Her too!"

Murphy reached over, his finger tips barely brushing the muzzle of the gun before the man shouted again.

"Keep your hands away from that, McManus! Drop the gun, Katie."

He knew he couldn't be the only one who caught the use of their names as Katie's glance flicked over at him, her eyes wide with shock. _Christ, Katie. Hold on. Ignore the fuckin' gun._ And he knew it was pointless to even think that way, but before he could speak anything aloud, his brother spoke up.

"Relax. She can't bend ta drop the gun." Connor's voice sounded calm, but the tension radiated across the room. And Murphy didn't have to glance over to know he'd be able to see the emotions clearly in his normally stoic twin's face. His heart raced as he watched the intruder shift the gun against Sara's temple. He had to get her away. He had to get a distraction.

"She can toss the fucking gun. Nobody else touch it."

Katie glanced again at him, releasing her hold on the gun only as he nodded. Murphy kicked the gun further away from her. He didn't want to give this guy any reason to point the gun elsewhere. Not yet. Not until he could figure something out.

"Who are you?" Sara's shaky voice distracted him, and they all stared up at her again.

"Shut up." The gun shifted again against her temple, and Murphy tensed, waiting. Sara took another shaky breath.

"I have a right to know who's holding a damn gun to my head."

"Lady, you're just a fucking means to gettin' in the door." The man's movements were unexpected as he shoved Sara away from him and pointed the gun around the room. She stumbled toward Murphy and he grabbed her hand, pulling her behind him. He heard a sigh of relief from his brother but then a gasp from Katie as the gun moved to point at him.

"My name is Leon Fertitta." The man smiled wide, his gun pointed unwaveringly at Murphy's head. Murphy glanced at Connor and saw the recognition spark with him as well. "I see you've heard of me."

"The fuckin' Saints are dead, what more do ye want?" He kept his words soft, calm. If Connor could do it, so could he. He could keep relaxed. Keep the situation from getting out of control.

Leon's laughter was harsh in their ears. "I was never after the fucking Saints. You fucking idiots brought that on yourself. If you'd just listened to my warning."

"You were after me." Katie's eyes were focused on Leon, but Murphy couldn't tell if she was looking at his face or the gun. "You wrote that on the wall to scare them away."

"You should've stayed away from them like you started to, Katie. You should've just kept right on walking away. It would've saved them. Now I have no choice."

"How did you get the scars on your knuckles, Leon?" Her voice wavered slightly. Surprise filtered across Leon's face, giving Murphy time to process the words. Again, Connor reacted before him.

"Oh fuckin' Christ." His mutter was soft and his arm reached to cover Katie, but he was too far away. They were both too far away.

The man recovered quickly, his focus turning back to Murphy. "So you see, McManus, you kept me from taking care of her sooner. You kept me waiting. So now I'm gonna make you choose."

"What the fuck do ye mean?" Murphy bit off the words, his heart racing. He kept his hand on Sara's shoulder, pushing her behind him again as the gun paused.

"Choose. Between her or your brother." Leon's smile made him sick as the gun moved over to aim directly at Connor's heart. A gasp came from behind him.

"No." Katie's voice was barely above a whisper. As Murphy turned his head quickly to look at her, he saw Connor shake his head in response.

"Shut it, Katie." His voice was barely above a growl and his gaze never left the gun pointed at him. And Murphy knew exactly what his twin was going to do only a half second before he did it.

* * *

**A/N: This was going to be the last chapter, but I realized there hadn't be a cliffhanger for a while. And what type of writer would I be if I let you off the easy way:) Blame it partly on GoddessLaughs, whose own cliffhanger was my influence. (I feel as if my evilness has faded some. Sometime tells me this will earn a bit of it back) Well, that and I wanted to tweek the ending a little more. Enjoy...:) **


	51. Chapter 51

For the second time, Connor felt the world freeze and his decision was made without much thought to it. He couldn't do that to Murphy. He couldn't make him choose. He'd sworn to himself he'd never make him choose.

With one large step to his right, he took away Murphy's choice. Crossing his arms over his chest, he stared down Leon from his place directly in front of Katie.

The sound of his name being said barely touched his ears as he kept his focus on the man holding the gun. On the man who killed Katie's parents. On the man he knew would pull the trigger without hesitation. Connor breathed deeply and waited.

Hands brushed against his shirt and he put his weight onto his heels to keep Katie from pushing him away. Her fingers dug into his sides and then stopped. Connor felt his shirt being lifted slightly in the back and hoped he was the only one who heard Katie's gasp.

* * *

The handle of the gun stuck out of Connor's jeans and she breathed in deeply. The sound of yelling floated around her, Murphy's voice, Sara's voice and Leon's voice argued back and forth.

Her hand brushed the skin of his back as she pulled the gun out and her heart pounded in her ears as she stared down at it. Katie wanted nothing more than to be rid of the thing, to toss the gun away, to get it out of her sight. But she knew she couldn't do that. She knew that gun was their way out of this situation.

Steeling her mind to do it, Murphy's words came back to her, repeating in her mind again. _Metal and plastic, Katie. Just plastic and metal_. Her hands shook but she steadied them. The sound of words around her beat against her ears and she fought to understand them, to figure out what was going on. But only one sound finally made it through the haze, stopping her cold.

She knew the sound of a hammer clicking back. It'd echoed through her dreams and through the closet door that morning years ago. Not again. She wasn't going to let it happen again. And despite the icy fear running through her, she made her decision and Katie quietly clicked the safety off. She breathed in slowly to prepare herself but the sound of the front door opening froze the air in her lungs.

"McManus?" Peter's voice echoed in the moment before he stepped from behind the safety of the door. Leon's gun whirled to point his way and Katie stepped from behind Connor, pulling the trigger without so much as a pause. Both guns went off, one after the other and Katie heard her own scream as both Peter and Leon went down.

"Peter!" She was halfway across the room before anyone else could move, throwing the gun as far from her as possible.

The blood spreading down his arm was dark, staining his shirt and the wood floor around him and she fell on her knees beside him, only slightly aware of the sobs choking her. Sara appeared on Peter's other side, her hands pressed against the bloodied arm. With a grunt of pain, Peter opened his eyes at them.

"What the fuck are you two doing here?" His words came from behind gritted teeth and his hand clamped down on Katie's arm. She could only stare down at him through the tears in her eyes. His eyes found hers and he let out a ragged breath. "You okay?"

She just nodded as another sob came out and he squeezed her hand in response. "I'm okay. I'll be fine."

"It's just an arm wound, Katie. The bullet just grazed him." Connor voice was soft as he kneeled down beside Sara and lifted her hand from the wound. Pressing a towel down against it, he nodded at Peter's hiss of pain. "Gotta stop the bleedin'."

"I know." Peter muttered, his eyes closing.

Sara's eyes were on the blood covering her hands but before she could react, Connor pulled her hands down to press against the towel. His lips met her temple for a moment. "Just keep puttin' pressure on it."

His gaze moved to Katie and she waited, dazedly wondering what he'd say to her. But his eyes moved away and the hands touched her shoulder before she even realized Murphy was behind her. The hands pulled her up to stand and she stared up into his face.

"Murph? He…is he?" She glanced around quickly, her eyes finding Leon's still body before Murphy could stop her. But he shifted her gaze away with his hand.

"Shh…he's gone." Murphy's eyes were searching her face but his arms didn't go around her like she hoped. "Katie? Look at me." She raised her eyes back to him, her mind still swirling. He only looked away as Connor held out another towel to him. Katie pushed his hand away as he tried to pull up her shirt.

"What are you doing?"

"Ye're bleedin', Katie. Ye've ripped yer fuckin' stitches or somethin'." And the pain of the pressure brought her back to the surface, back to reality. Gasping, she raised her eyes to see the pain in Murphy's face. "Sorry."

His eyes closed then as he took a shuddering breath and she glanced around her then, realizing all that had happened. Peter was sitting up now, Sara still holding the towel against his arm looking only slightly less pale than before. Connor paced a few feet away on the phone and he managed to smile slightly as he caught her gaze.

And Murphy had his hand pressed over her wound and his eyes were still tightly closed, his eyelashes dark slashes against his now colorless face. She could feel her heart racing, against the pain and the emotion and in response, she raised her hand to Murphy's cheek. His eyes opened to look up at her.

"Would it be easier if I lie down?"

A forced laugh followed the curt shake of his head and he breathed out slowly. "I don't think I could take ye lyin' down with a bloodied shirt right now. Not again." His forehead met her shoulder and she felt him taking another shuddering breath.

"Murph." She whispered into his shoulder as she slid her arms around him. His free arm held her tightly against him, his hand balled in a fist against her back.

"Smecker's less than five minutes away." Connor's voice was soft and she felt Murphy nod his head in response.

The sound of footsteps against the wood floor came toward them, and Katie looked up as she heard her brother. "So much for keeping her in Ireland, McManus."

There was a pause before Murphy responded, sounding almost normal. "Christ, Peter. Ye know yer sister. Ye can't expect me ta do the impossible."

"I can be very persuasive." She loosened her hold on Murphy to shoot another glance at her brother. His smile was real but he studied her closely.

"You mean you can be a pain in the ass."

Katie felt Murphy slip her hand under his against the towel and he kissed her gently as she looked up at him. He then pushed her slightly toward her brother.

Peter pulled her into a tight one-armed hug. "Pain in the ass." His whisper made her smile slightly before her eye caught the body less then two feet away from them.

"He killed our parents."

"I know."

"You know? How-?" She stopped short as Peter released her to look down at her. He closed his eyes for a moment.

"I've known for a little while. But that was after I found out how dangerous he was. I didn't know until yesterday that he knew that you were the witness. He's the one who hired Tommy, Katie. He's known who you were for a while now."

The sound of the door opening again made everyone stop what they were doing and Katie found herself shoved behind Peter. Smecker strolled in and stopped as he saw the guns pointed at him.

"What a nice New York welcome. Lower your fricken guns." He stepped forward, his eyes on Peter. "You okay, Shafer?"

"Fine."

Smecker's eyes wandered the room for a moment, his expression concerned as he put together what happened. "You should see the dossier I have on this man. He's dangerous."

"Katie took care o' that." She thought she heard pride in Murphy's voice but his eyes were on Smecker who grinned.

"Nice shot. We might have a use for you yet."

"Whatever it is, forget it." Katie stepped out from behind Peter and saw Smecker's eyebrows rise as he saw the bloodied towel against her side. He paused only for a moment before clapping his hands together.

"Okay, folks, here's the plan. Peter, I'm taking you to the nearest hospital east of here. Murphy, there's another hospital just north of here. Take Katie there. I'll get this marked and taken over as an FBI matter. Connor, Sara, take everybody's bags. We'll all meet up later."

"We'll meet at St. Patrick's. They know us there." Connor nodded, his eyes meeting Murphy's.

"Let's go, Peter. Lock the door and bring the key for me, Connor." Smecker's words drove them into action. Katie found herself wrapped in Murphy's coat as he steered her out the door. She could feel the anxiety in him wearing off but she knew it wouldn't disappear until they were all out of the hospital and on their way home again.

* * *

The candle stand in the church drew Sara to it the moment they entered and she left Connor with the pizzas and the bags as she moved toward it. Nearly half of the lights flickered as she watched and she felt rather than heard Connor approach, his warmth at her side surrounding her.

His hand slipped into hers. "Ye okay?"

Surprisingly, she found she was. Despite having a gun pointed at her head and watching Peter gunned down, she was okay. "Yes. Even if my heart stopped as you stepped front of Katie. I'm fine now."

"I had ta-"

She turned to look up at him, placing her finger on his lips. "I know."

His arms pulled her to him and all the edgy adrenaline she still felt began to fade as she relaxed against him. Resting her chin on his chest, she looked up at him again. "You okay?"

His smile was warm. "Even if I wasn't, just holdin' ye makes it better. Ye always make it better."

The door of the church opened and the echo of arguing greeted them. Sara laughed. "Murphy and Katie are here."

They moved toward them as a unit, and Sara was pulled into a hug by Murphy. "How ye doin'?"

"Wonderful. You?"

"Not so bad now. Now that we're all fuckin' safe." His words were punctuated by a sigh as he let her go. Sara wanted to respond to that, to thank him for shielding her after Leon had shoved her aside. She wanted to tell him that she was so glad he was Connor's brother and that he'd be her brother soon, too.

But her chance was cut off as he and Connor both exchanged a long look. Connor released Katie from his embrace, touching them both on the shoulder before following Murphy to the back of the church. And together they knelt, their heads bowed in prayer.

Sara turned her gaze to Katie whose eyes had found the candles and she put her arms around her friend. "What no bed rest?"

"Fuck." She just laughed in response, pulling away and walking with Sara to the pew at the front. "I didn't give them the chance to admit me. I want to go back when you guys go back."

"You do realize we were only there for 24 hours, right?"

"Then why does it feel like home?" Katie smiled at her, relaxing fully into the pew and turning to face her. "You doing okay?"

"I'm doing fine. You?"

"Fine. Starved. Do I smell pizza?"

Sara grabbed one of the pizza boxes and spread it across their laps. They ate in silence, their eyes wandering the church together, returning to where the brothers still kneeled after a few minutes.

"You think you'll miss it here?" She asked finally, slowing down on her second piece and catching the shake of Katie's head as she finished her slice.

"It was never home. It was just a means to figuring things out."

"And now?"

"Christ, Sar. Now I want a home. I want a family. I want a job I can be done with by five every evening."

"Sounds nice. Think we can do it?"

Katie grinned, her eyes back on the boys again. "I don't think we'll have a choice in it."

And Sara just smiled in agreement, her eyes following Katie's gaze. She was right, she knew, about the path already being set for them. From the moment they met the McManuses, their plans for life began to change. Even here, even in this moment fresh from the blood and the violence, Sara knew that things were going to be okay.

She knew they'd take a flight back the next morning and she knew they'd convince Peter to come with them. And she knew they'd get back and as soon as they were done celebrating this being over, they'd start to plan a wedding. And a life together. And she knew without a doubt she'd be happy. Happier than she thought she could be.

* * *

Peter paused at the entrance of the church and faced Smecker, his mind focused again on what faced them inside. His sister was safe. Despite all the attempts to keep her away, she'd taken care of that herself. And her hands were no longer clean of blood. She was just like the rest of them.

And his fear was that it would just continue. That the McManuses would continue to find crimes worth their punishment, and that those who slipped through their fingers would continue to find them. And his sister would be in the middle of it. Again and again.

But as Smecker waited with an eyebrow raised for him to speak, Peter didn't know how to say it. He didn't know how to put it into words the fears that he had. And he was afraid that it would come down to what it had come down to every time since he'd found her again. The McManuses were dangerous. And nobody with them was safe.

"Smecker, I thought they were done."

Smecker took a final drag of his cigarette, grinding the ash into the cement beneath his heel before answering, his eyes finding their way back to Peter's after a long moment of silence.

"The Saints are dead. The McManuses only came back on your call."

"No, I called Murphy to tell him to call you. I had no intention of them coming back here. I had no intention of them bringing the girls…" He trailed off, sighing his frustration and ignoring the headache the throbbed in time with his arm. "They came back because I called."

"Fuck, Shafer. They came back because they care. I don't know why it's so frickin' hard for you ta accept, but you're their family now."

"I'm Katie's family. Sara's family."

"And so are they. Which makes you all one big happy fucking family." Smecker opened the door of the church and nodded for Peter to go in first. "You can either accept that or you can't. It's not all black and white, son. Stick on the force long enough and you'll figure that out. Sometimes you just need to find your particular shade of gray."

Peter entered the church without another word, feeling Smecker brush past him as he paused in the doorway to the sanctuary. He could see the brothers' heads bowed behind the last pew at the back of the church and that image alone conflicted even more with what he knew about the twins. They were killers, yet they were devout. They took the law into their own hands and yet they followed the lead of an FBI agent. They were wanted for the deaths of nearly a hundred men and yet he'd never seen anyone so caring, so concerned about his family.

He'd lived his life with the sense of the world divided into two parts: right and wrong, black and white. And yet he wanted to be okay with this. But it wasn't that easy, and he could only hope that time would help him find his balance, his gray.

* * *

Connor lifted his head from prayer followed instantly by his twin but neither of them got to their feet. The voices of the others echoed through the church but Connor was still hesitant to join them. It couldn't be over, but it was. And he was afraid to move to shatter what might only be a cruel dream.

"Peter's not too sure o' us." Murphy's whisper was low and Connor followed his line of vision to where Katie's brother hovered just beyond the doorway. Wrinkling his brow, he glanced at Murphy.

"What do ye think that's about?"

"We just offered 'is fuckin' sister up as bait. What do ye expect it ta be about?"

"Murph, ye know that's not what happened."

"But ye know that's what he thinks happened. I knew I should've fuckin' made her stay home."

Connor snorted out a half laugh as he raised his eyebrows at his brother. "And what made ye think ye'd be able ta do that?"

"She's small. And ye'd've been there ta help me."

"Fuck, I'd've helped her, Murphy. She had a right ta come and don't be lettin' anything convince ye otherwise. She had a right ta come just like Sara did. And if you and her brother can't figure that out, than maybe she would be best off without ye."

"Fuck, Connor. What the fuck do ye mean by that?" Murphy glared at him and Connor had to force back a sigh. Sometimes his brother just didn't get it. If he thought before he reacted, he'd save himself a world of trouble, Connor knew. But that just wasn't Murphy. And that's why, he supposed, God had made them twins. Someone had to keep him in line.

"I mean that ye better keep thoughts like that ta yerself. You and her brother ought ta keep it in mind that yer Katie's just as capable as either o' us. And I think she proved that today."

"That she did." Murphy's eyes found the topic of their conversation and his thumb found his way to his mouth. Laughing softly, Connor knocked his hand away, ducking Murphy's reaction smack.

"Look, even Peter's finally come out ta play. Let's go join 'em."

But his brother paused again, his eyes back on his hands. "It's over. Isn't it?"

"Aye, that it finally fuckin' is."

"Didn't know if it'd ever come, ye know."

"I know. But it's here. So let's go enjoy it." Connor stood up then, smiling slightly when Murphy joined him instantly. But before he stepped forward, he noticed that his brother was chewing on his thumb again. "Knock it off."

"Conn…I-. Thanks." Murphy's eyes met his finally and he was surprised to find the fresh emotion there again. And Connor knew where his thoughts were, knew they'd been there the whole time. He'd hoped they could just let it go, just let the memory of his choice fade. Let the pain of the moment stay in that apartment. But as his twin swallowed hard, he knew the moment was still with him. Was still haunting him.

"Murph, it's…I. It just happened. I'm sorry. But I couldn't let him fuckin' do that to ye." The tightness filled his lungs now and he shook his head to push it away. _Dammit, Murph._

"I love ye, Conn." His voice was quiet, his eyes elsewhere, wandering and finally looking back up at him after a short pause.

Connor just smiled, forcing a laugh past the lump in his throat and pulling his brother into a one armed hug. "Christ, Murph. I love ye, too." He paused, squeezing his hand on Murphy's neck before pushing him forward. "Now let's get some fuckin' pizza. I'm starved."

* * *

Their plane was just a short ways from Ireland when Murphy found the metal in his pocket again, his fingertips brushing against the delicate chain. Katie was sleeping as he put the necklace on her, his fingers only fumbling slightly to connect the clasp in the dark. Her eyes opened as he slipped the necklace beneath her shirt and she raised an eyebrow at him.

"I got it fixed. Just forgot ta give it to ye."

"I gave Sara Connor's." She mumbled through her yawn but then opened her eyes wider and reached beneath her shirt to pull the cross out. "Oh, Murph."

"When did ye give it ta her?"

"She…she was afraid to fly. I thought it would make things easier. Besides, it's rightly hers now." Her eyes met his again. "Sorry, Murph. I didn't know-"

"I figured as much. Hold on ta this one. It's officially yers." He pressed his lips to the cross before kissing her.

Smiling slightly, her hand found his. "Thanks."

"I know ye think it didn't work, Katie, but it did." Closing his eyes, Murphy leaned his head back against the seat. "It just didn't work for you."

The silence from Katie made him open his eyes again, and he followed her gaze to the next row over where Sara lay sleeping against Connor's shoulder. She met his smile with her own and pointed out the window.

"Look, Murph. Ireland. We're home."

Warmth spread through his body as her words made sense to him. They were home. They were safe. Murphy glanced over and saw Connor's eyes had opened. They shared a grin and he turned his head to gaze out the window again. They were home.

_**The End (for now...)**_

**A/N: I couldn't wait. I'll have the one shot epilogue up in just a few days at most! Happy Holidays! (And now I'm going to rush to work on the sequel...)**


	52. Epilogue

_**Ten months later... **_

The clinking of glasses against the bar greeted Katie as she entered _The Anvil_ and she grinned as she saw the glass pyramid that Murphy had built. Moving quickly to the bar, she hopped up on the stool across from him and raised her eyebrows.

"Is this what you do at work?"

"No, he's actually bein' semi fuckin' productive now." Connor's voice came from behind the bar and he stood up with another box of glasses. "It's amazin' just how much of this shite Uncle Sibeal let go."

"Like I don't fuckin' do anythin' already. Who re-polished the fuckin' floor?" Murphy scuffed but his concentration was on the glass he was carefully arranging on the top of the pyramid.

"That's my Murphy. Hardworking _and_ creative." She grinned as he gave her a look, tossing her the towel in response. "Can I get what I came here for?"

"Ah, ye want me ta leave the room?" Connor's chuckle made her turn red and she rolled her eyes.

"Your wife?"

"I'll get Sara. Her ankles were swellin' again so she's layin' down." Murphy shook his head again at Katie before going through the doorway to the backroom.

"Hey barkeep, can I get a drink?"

"I'm on me honeymoon." His response was muffled again as he ducked below the bar.

"Fuck, Conn. You've been off your honeymoon for six months now. Your wife is eight months pregnant. Wake up." Katie laughed as he gave her a look identical to the one she'd already received from Murphy. Sighing dramatically, he moved to lean against the counter before her.

"Shh. I'm fuckin' pretendin' here." He took the glass off of the top of Murphy's pyramid and gestured to her. "What do ye want?"

"The usual. Without the kick."

"Fuck, Katie. Ye can get that down at the grocery."

"But the grocery doesn't have cute barkeeps to serve it to me." She started taking down the now lopsided pyramid as images of it falling and glass flying began to bother her. Lining them up on the bar, she smiled as she caught Connor watching her with a raised eyebrow.

"First, we are fuckin' bartenders, not barkeeps. Welcome ta the new millennium. Second, what the fuck are ye doin'?"

"You know you're going to have to clean up your language once the baby comes, right?" Drinking the orange juice, she finished lining up the glasses in a neat little row before looking up again. Connor was still watching her with raised eyebrows. "I'm organizing. Doc taught me well."

"Thanks for takin' home with ye, Kat. She's drivin' the both o' us nuts all day." He lowered his voice but she didn't miss the smile growing across his face. His words and his expressions were battling but she understood. Pregnant Sara had been a unique experience the whole time. And as much as she loved her friend dearly, she understood the need to escape the mood swinging drama.

"What a friend you are, Katie! I'm going to drink right in front of you the whole nine months you're pregnant." Sara moved slowly from behind the bar, leaned against the counter near Katie with a glare.

"Think she can have some, Conn? I'm feeling sorry for her here."

"Sure." He laughed in response as Sara's eyes widened.

"Connor! I can't drink."

"Relax, Sara. It's O.J."

She took Katie's glass with a suspicious look and sniffed it before taking a sip. Setting it back down in front of Katie, she leaned against one of the stools. "I'll take the same."

"I thought the two o' ye were leavin'." Murphy leaned in from the doorway, his grin wide. "Ye're goin' ta scare away the customers."

"Yes, because they've never seen us before. It's a good thing you've done such a good job of hiding us away." Katie said dryly, sharing a look with Sara.

"Ye took down me glass castle." He moved in and swiped her glass, draining it before looking at her strangely. "That was fuckin' orange juice. New rule: we don't serve drinks ye can get at Ma's."

"Murph, I've seen your mother's liquor cabinet. There's very little you'd be able to serve if you went by that rule." Sara laughed softly as she set her empty glass down. "Can I get another to go?"

"Christ, Sar. We've already got an entire set o' swiped bar glasses ye've taken home already." Connor came up from behind the bar again to look at her.

Katie patted his hand. "But I don't have any at my cottage. And that's where we going." She winked at him. "I'll bring it back. I promise."

Murphy filled the glass and slid it back down to Sara who nodded toward the door. "Let's go. I'm ready to cut my feet off at the ankles."

"That'd be pretty." She squeezed her hand on her friend's shoulder. "But we do have a date with a hot actor and a tub of Ben and Jerry's."

Sara stopped short and shot her a look. "It's not Patrick again, is it?"

"Nope. I took your suggestion. Our character de jour is named after his dog."

"Oh, dear sweet Indiana. I've missed him. Chunky Monkey?"

"And Cherry Garcia." Katie opened the door but paused as she heard her name.

"Wait, girls. We've got a question ta ask ye." Murphy moved toward them from behind the bar, followed by a sighing Connor. "We heard Ma had a talk with ye."

Katie shared a laughing look with Sara. This was a moment they'd been waiting to come since Ma had sat them down two days ago, offering to share the big family secret. They knew the twins would find out about it and they knew they would in turn badger them to know the truth.

"Yes?" She raised her eyebrows innocently, smiling widely as Murphy and Connor exchanged an annoyed look.

"And did she tell ye?"

"Tell us what?" Sara sounded bored and Katie had to force back another laugh.

"Well, which one o' us is it then?" Connor crossed his arms over his chest.

"Which one of what?" Katie took the answer this time, and she could hear the shared exhale of the two men.

Murphy tried a charming smile this time. "Give it up already. Which one o' us is the fuckin' first born?"

"Oh." She glanced over at Sara, pretending to be surprised. "Oh, you want to know about _that_ talk with Ma. I'm afraid we can't tell you the answer."

"Katie. Sara. Come on." Connor sighed again, and she could tell he was trying hard to not be annoyed. Sara put her hand on his arm and Katie knew she was going to cave. She always gave in sooner when they were teasing the guys, especially after marrying one of them.

"We can't tell you because we don't know."

"What do ye mean ye don't know, Sara? Da said that Ma was goin' ta tell ye."

Katie laughed softly. "She tried. We refused to be told."

"Fuck, Katie." Murphy eyes widened. "Why'd ye go and do that? We want ta know. "

"We have a right ta know." Connor added.

"You already know." Sara patted his arm again. He turned his head to share another look with Murphy.

"We want to know which one o' us is fuckin' right, then."

"You already know, Conn."

Smiling again, Katie looked both of them. "You both decided long ago who was older. It wouldn't be right for us to tell you differently."

There was a pause of silence before Murphy sighed. "Ye really aren't goin' ta find out for us, are ye?"

Sara started laughing first and Katie found herself joining in as she caught Sara shaking her head.

"Katie, I told you they wouldn't see it our way."

"They will. We just haven't trained them yet." Grinning, she put a hand on Sara's shoulder and pushed her gently toward the door. "We told 'em what we know. Let them fight it out."

"Night boys!" Sara waved, still laughing. Both brothers waved their hands in response and turned their glares to Katie, who smiled sweetly back.

"Have a good night." She turned toward the door and heard identical sighs of frustration.

"I'll come get 'er when we close." Connor said as she opened the door. Katie turned back.

"I don't mind sharing my bed for the night."

"Aye, I know ye don't. But how about I trade ye Murph for Sara? He can share yer bed instead."

"I didn't know you were Murph's pimp."

Murphy cleared his throat. "I'm me own fuckin' pimp. But I've got ta let him in anyway, so I may as well stay the night."

"Okay, but I'm not leaving money on the nightstand for you." She stepped out of the doorway and kissed him. His arms snaked around her and Katie found herself dipped in his arms.

"If ye're lucky, I'll let ye make me breakfast instead."

She just laughed as he brought her back to stand up and she shook her head at Connor. "He's yours for the night. And that's what makes me lucky. Good night, boys."

"Night, Katie." Connor grinned and waved her out the door. "Me wife's goin' ta steal yer car if ye keep stayin'."

"Wish me luck." She flashed them another grin as she headed out the door. She heard Murphy's laugh and the crash of a chair and knew instantly what they were doing. And she couldn't help but wonder which one would end up pinned and muttering 'Ye're the older twin."

In the end, it wouldn't matter, she knew. There'd be a winner tonight, and a different one next week, and on it would continue as long as possible. The only thing that mattered was that they were brothers, twins and that they were happy. If they had it their way, they'd fight, drink and love the best way they know how, and probably break a few more laws along the way. But that didn't matter either. Not to those who loved them most. Because, after all, they were men and sinners at best, not saints.

**Kinda, actually, maybe...**

**The End (of _Paying for Vengeance_)... **

**Coming soon..._Depth of Faith_  
**

* * *


End file.
